IA: Shadow Falcons v2.5

[Ekim_Trub]

Thanks for taking the time to look at my vision of a SM Chapter. However, this thread is now redundant- for the latest version please see the link in my sig.

[Necronpheliac]

i can dig it. Pretty interesting id say. I like the color scheme and overall feel of the chapter. I like the fact that you have them keep the failed recruits in support roles. Do you have them engage in support in battle as well? Seeing as they don't have a zealous religious aspect to them, do they still make use of chaplains?

[Ekim_Trub]

Instead of using them in a battlefield support role, i had visioned them as ship defence (if they have to fight that is).

And, in regards to Chaplains- i dunno what to do about them, because the models rule, lol.

 

Something i'm going to factor in is their high use of Librarians. They see Psykers as the next stage of human evolution (because the Emperor and Primarchs were!), and as such have a large Librarius, which will help guide them through Pacificus aswell. They will also be well versed in premonition, which kind of dictates where they go and fight.

 

Thanks for the comment.

[Necronpheliac]

If you intend on being psyker heavy, be aware that may draw extra scrutiny from Inquisitors. Double that with their their gene seed mutations, they may have some interesting interactions. As you stated they also show great pride in their mutations, which may be seen as skirting on heretical. Seems to me that the only chapter that gets away with pride in their mutation are the space wolves. Im not sure i would even call it pride, but they just don't seem to care too much about it. Not that your chosen mutation is extreme by comparison to some mutations like those of the Black Dragons. Just be careful in having them take pride in their appearance. Maybe have some imperial forces wary of having them as allies due to their high volume of psykers ? Just a thought.

[Ekim_Trub]

Yeah, i see your point. The psyker thing was just an idea i was playing around with, but i reckon i'll just go with the "pride" thing, as i don't want to many things going on- i like simple.

 

I'll probably expand on it using it as the reason why the entire Chapter wears helmets at all times whilst in the presence of non-Astartes. Was thinking along the lines of, it was discovered Guardsmen were extremely wary of, and uneasy around their "deathly"(can't thnk of better word) looking allies- so it was decided helmets were the way to prevent this and any unwanted/uneccessary attention from the Inquisition.

[Necronpheliac]

that's a good way of dealing with it. You could also take it a little more to the extreme and have it so no one outside the chapter knows what they look like. Have that lead to some unconfirmed wild rumors about them. Like they have no face under their helmet, they look like corpses, and all sorts of other wild stories. Even thought the real reason is that they would use their visage to frighten an enemy and not their allies. Again just throwing stuff out there. Keep adding stuff, look forward to future updates.

[Ekim_Trub]

I think i will run with the idea that they had to start wearing the helmets to stop any hassle and rumours, but in turn, all that has done is start more rumours.

 

With regards to the Chaplains, i had thought of them being used more as Drill Sergeants/Military Advisors. Taking to the field to oversee the further development of the Battle-brothers and Officers ( and dish out some heavy duty ass kickings, lol.)

 

What would your take on the idea be?

[Necronpheliac]

I would say make them have great pride in the tactics and those that teach it. This gives the chaplain a place of honor in your chapter without making him religious. He would be a walking talking ass kicking tactical book. Give him a vast knowledge of tactics that the chapter employs and sing the praises of the victories they have won. Have him be the go to guy for the company for strategy. He could also be sort of a motivational speaker that raises their spirits. "remember the battle of blah blah blah..." and so on. Kinda like a coach of a sports team would give them a fiery speech to get their fighting spirit up. Maybe give him a different title as well since you are removing religious connotations.

[Ecritter]

I would say make them have great pride in the tactics and those that teach it. This gives the chaplain a place of honor in your chapter without making him religious. He would be a walking talking ass kicking tactical book. Give him a vast knowledge of tactics that the chapter employs and sing the praises of the victories they have won. Have him be the go to guy for the company for strategy. He could also be sort of a motivational speaker that raises their spirits. "remember the battle of blah blah blah..." and so on. Kinda like a coach of a sports team would give them a fiery speech to get their fighting spirit up. Maybe give him a different title as well since you are removing religious connotations.

 

Sounds kinda Klingon-like

[Necronpheliac]

my Star Trek fu is very weak, so should that be the case, it is merely a wacky coincidence.

[Ekim_Trub]

Sounds quite a good way to take it, but i don't want to take anything away from the Librarians (its there job to remember past deeds). And in regards to Klingons- they are cool so hey i don't mind that reference.

 

 

Does no one else have anything to add?? Please??

[Necronpheliac]

The libbys are more like record keepers and not really fiery orators. Doesnt take away from them, just puts the knowledge they accrue to good use through the chaplain. Chaps are more like motivational speakers with a crozius.

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

The libbys are more like record keepers and not really fiery orators. Doesnt take away from them, just puts the knowledge they accrue to good use through the chaplain. Chaps are more like motivational speakers with a crozius.

 

Well this is why it's a DIY. His Librarians can be fiery orators as well, if that's what he wants and has a good enough reason for why. Though generally I agree in that it's the Chaplains job to inspire the troops and again, it needs to have some fair justification to disrupt the natural order of things.

[CKO]

They use Raven Guard tactics, they have Raven Guard like armour, their geneseed comes from Corax its just to much like Raven GUard. I might be wrong but it just screams raven guard, perhaps you can point out the differences to me, as a reader I can not see it myself.

[Octavulg]

"Warriors of Pacificus"

 

This isn't wrong, but it isn't particularly distinctive either. Improve it if you get the chance.

 

The Chapter was guided through its infancy and early history by Lucius D'Ken, former Captain of the Raptors 2nd Company, who had led the initial training cadre provided by both the Raptors and Raven Guard. It was under his decisive leadership and expert tutelage that the Shadow Falcons established themselves as surgical strike and rapid deployment specialists. A speciality that was to serve them well, for a lot of their early operations consisted of supporting other Chapters and the many Explorator Fleets of the Adeptus Mechanicus operating within the Segmentum.

 

Why draw the Cadre from two Chapters?

 

However, the Chapters history is not all famous victories and glorious battles, for in M.35, upon the world of Sesharrim the Shadow Falcons suffered their worst defeat to date. Both the 6th and 9th Companies were deployed alongside elements of the Dark Angels Chapter to eradicate the Ork menace that plagued the planet. After a long and ardous campaign came what would of been the decisive battle to achieve the worlds freedom, without any notice or explanation, the Dark Angels withdrew from the surface and left the system. This left the Shadow Falcons at the mercy of the enemy, and although they fought on valiantly, both Companies were utterly destroyed, leaving no survivors. Which has led to the Chapter to refuse to take to field alongside the Dark Angels or any of their successors, and has even seen them remove themselves from any Imperial Campaigns in which these forces, who they view as unforgivable, has joined.

It was only through the strength and resolve that the Adeptus Astartes are known for, was the Chapter able to recover from this devastating and horrendous loss and continue on in their duty to the Emperor and the Imperium.

 

I'd suggest that you make it one of the successors, just for variety.

 

Over the millenia since their creation, the Shadow Falcons have proven themselves to be true sons of Corax, excelling in their application of stategy and tactics, and with their ability to adapt and overcome any changes to the battlefield in order to achieve victory. A legacy that was laid down by D'ken and carried on by the Chapter to this day.

 

It's not bad, but I'm not sure what the point was of the section. It didn't really suggest to me that the Chapter was particularly unique.

 

Understandably this has raised some concerns amongst some members of the Inquisition and eventually led to an investigation, but having passed strenous checks, the purity of their geneseed is without question- however, both the Ad Mech and Inquisition continue to monitor the Chapter for any sign of further mutation.

 

I'm curious why you chose to place the Geneseed section up here. It seems an odd choice.

 

* * *

 

At the moment, the Chapter doesn't really have much of a hook - nothing makes them stand out. The closest thing is their dislike of the Unforgiven. If you wanted to make them into a Chapter which had decided that the Unforgiven's untrustworthiness must have terrible roots and had set out to figure out what those roots are, that'd be neat.

 

Honestly, none of it's bad, but there doesn't seem to be much connecting it or making them a unique Chapter - as CKO pointed out, it's a lot like the Raven Guard. It's a common enough problem. Often a difficult solution, sadly.

[Ekim_Trub]

Thanks for the input guys.

 

Necronpheliac: I reckon your right, i am looking to still having them as Orators. But my big question is- how to still have them when your not religous? I reckon it'd be strange not to have any and probably be frowned upon by the Ecclesiarch.

 

CKO: I can see your point and actually agree with you. However, i am a big fan of the RG, and as i see it, just about every successor Chapter is a copy of their parent and i am working on ways to stand out slightly- but i don't want to be too different from them.

 

Octavulg:

Why draw the Cadre from two Chapters?

I felt this way would be one of the ways a cadre would be made up, for it draws less manpower from one Chapter. And it also keeps the RG in touch with their successors, and lets them see how they've developed.

 

I'd suggest that you make it one of the successors, just for variety.

I was originally going to use a successor, but couldn't settle on one. ;)

 

In regards to the placement of the geneseed section, i now see that it would be better placed nearer the end of the IA, and shall rectify it accordingly.

 

At the moment, the Chapter doesn't really have much of a hook - nothing makes them stand out. The closest thing is their dislike of the Unforgiven. If you wanted to make them into a Chapter which had decided that the Unforgiven's untrustworthiness must have terrible roots and had set out to figure out what those roots are, that'd be neat.

I was looking to have them come across as "all business, no holiness"- but i just can't seem to figure out how to achieve this. I like the idea of the Chapter hounding the "Unforgiven" for answers as to why they desert their allies at times- but feel my Chapter would just "disappear" if they did. So any ideas how to further these ideas would be great.

[Necronpheliac]

I would say make the chaps the ones who train the scouts. He would be the master of recruits except you have him in every company. Have them be the building blocks of the chapter. Maybe have the scouts work extra hard to make their chaplain proud? Have him be the one to decide if they are ready to become full marines. Since he is the one who would have trained most of the battle brothers anyways, they would all look to him for guidance. He fills this role in a codex chapter anyways, tho he helps more with matters of faith and such.

 

I would also change his title to something more befitting his different role. Something like Arch Mentor or something to that effect.

[Ekim_Trub]

Hmm....this whole affair with the Chaplains (sounds dirty, lol) is going on hold for the moment, and i'll return to it later, as that usually allows me to see things a bit clearer.

 

Instead, i think i shall work on changing their Combat Doctrine to make them urban warfare experts specialising in deployment via Thunderhawk (combat drops).

 

I have also decided on using the Angels of Redemption as the Unforgiven Chapter who deserted them.

 

Any other thoughts/suggestions still most definitely welcome!

[Ekim_Trub]

Combat doctrine added, Chaplain issue addressed, appearance changed and organisation expanded slightly.

 

Please pass critique.

[NightrawenII]

Both the 6th and 9th Companies were deployed alongside elements of the Angels Of Redemption...

Both 6th and 9th Companies are Reserves. 2nd - 5th are Battle.

 

The Shadow Falcons are very similar in appearance to the Revilers, but paint their left arm and helmet black. This is done as a tribute to their parent Chapter aswell as the Legion, and Primarch, of whom they bear the gene-legacy of. They have also adopted the use of the Raven Guards Chapter badge as their own, further displaying their origins.

So they steal colors and symbols of other Chapters... Niiiiice.

What about doing something *unique*? Ya'now, distinguish themselfs among other sons of Corax.

 

The Shadow Falcons view hours dedicated to worship or ritual as hours wasted, for this time would be better spent improving their martial training or futhering their knowledge.

An open mind is like a fortress with its gate unbarred and unguarded. :tu:

 

... there are some who see it as disrespectful and expect them to follow their command.

Show me a IG officer, who thinks that he can command Emperor's Finest.

 

Rarely do they take to the field equipped with Terminator Armour, but when they do, they do so almost always as Assault Squads. This is done to maximise the killing power of these powerful relics, but also to prevent them being lost to the big guns of the enemy.

Don't mix tabletop with fluff. In fluff the TDA is used for "close-combat" missions.

 

++++

 

In regards to your IA as whole:

I do agree with CKO and Octavulg, the Chapter feels like Ravenguard 2.0, you have some quirks there and there, but they are mild and not divergent enough to tell me WHO are Shadow Falcons.

 

*all business, no holiness* - I don't think this is good idea. Because it leaves your Chapter extremely vulnerable to the predations of Chaos. From my standpoint, it wouldn't take a great effort to turn your Chapter into Khorne worshippers.

[Ekim_Trub]

Both the 6th and 9th Companies were deployed alongside elements of the Angels Of Redemption...

 

Both 6th and 9th Companies are Reserves. 2nd - 5th are Battle.

 

Sorry, i worded that incorrectly, it was supposed to be "deployed in support of the AoR". Supporting other forces is how i see reserves earning battle experience, and thus becoming able enough to join the Battle Co's when needed.

 

So they steal colors and symbols of other Chapters... Niiiiice.

What about doing something *unique*? Ya'now, distinguish themselfs among other sons of Corax.

 

What would you suggest? Bearing in mind my painting skills are almost non-existent. The majority of Chapters have a scheme or badge that is similar to someone else's, and i for one, like the idea that they would honour their origins in that manner.

 

Don't mix tabletop with fluff. In fluff the TDA is used for "close-combat" missions.

 

Yeah, i'll agree with that, and shall look to re-word it.

 

 

In regards to your IA as whole:

I do agree with CKO and Octavulg, the Chapter feels like Ravenguard 2.0, you have some quirks there and there, but they are mild and not divergent enough to tell me WHO are Shadow Falcons.

 

What would you suggest for me to include to add divergence?? Personally, i am reasonably happy not to differ too greatly, as i don't see Chapters divergening too quickly- i reckon in most cases it would take several Chapters/steps to happen.

 

*all business, no holiness* - I don't think this is good idea. Because it leaves your Chapter extremely vulnerable to the predations of Chaos. From my standpoint, it wouldn't take a great effort to turn your Chapter into Khorne worshippers.

 

Hmmm....thats a interesting way to look at it, that i hadn't seen and shall look to rectify (or maybe run with?).

 

 

 

 

Thanks for taking the time to comment, and any further comments/critique would be most welcome.

[NightrawenII]

In regards to your IA as whole:

I do agree with CKO and Octavulg, the Chapter feels like Ravenguard 2.0, you have some quirks there and there, but they are mild and not divergent enough to tell me WHO are Shadow Falcons.

 

What would you suggest for me to include to add divergence?? Personally, i am reasonably happy not to differ too greatly, as i don't see Chapters divergening too quickly- i reckon in most cases it would take several Chapters/steps to happen.

Well, my comment was rather observation than criticism.

 

I don't see any problem, as far as you are fine with it.

[Ekim_Trub]

Sorry if that came across a bit harsh, that was not my intention.

 

I would like some ideas from people as how to make the Chapter not appear as RG v2.0 if thats what the IA needs, but i kinda like the idea of that to be honest.