Ice Hawks V 2.0

[Eddtheman]

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The Reductus sector was an area beset by threats and falling out of Imperial hands during the years of the mid 35th millennium. Pirates, traitors and aliens stalked the void, and loyal planets were few and far between. The dangers of the sector made interplanetary travel incredibly dangerous, and trade and security were abandoned by all but a few. In order to combat the tide of Insurrection, the High Lords ordered the creation of a new chapter to restore order in the sector. The Ice Hawks were established during the 10th founding from Raven Guard geneseed. The chapter was originally fleet-bourne, and within two centuries of their inception, they had cleared most of the main shipping lanes in the sector. During this early period the chapter worked closely with deathwatch kill-teams. Their assistance to the Xeno- Hunters made them many powerful allies, and for their efforts they were given rights to any planet they wished. Portents from the Emperor's Tarot and visions from the Librarium guided the Hawks to the Techrys System, where they established a fortress-monastery on Techrys IV.

1st Captai Cassian Ulexis

Captain Cassian Ulexis is the current 1st captain, and has held that post for 300 years, leading the Hawks to many victories. In 899M41 during the siege of Marr's World, he slew the Warboss Gutsplitta, ending his waaagh. Fifty years later he destroyed the chaos warhound Ex Ferrum and helped secure the landing zone of the Storm Falcons during the assault on Chimeros.

Bliefs

Family is everything to the people of Techrys IV. Without family and the city state, a native has no chance of survival. The marines of the chapter retain this belief, and keep their family name. It is not uncommon for members of the same family to fight together in the same squad. The inhabitants of Techrys IV see it as a great honor for one of it's members to be accepted into the Ice Hawks.

The Ice Hawks are much more open to helping other Imperial factions, and are usually the first to arrive when help is requested. They are also willing to provide protection to Mechanicus expeditions, Inquisistion strike forces, and occasionally Rogue Trader fleets. In this role, they are seen as unorthodox at best and mercenaries at worst by more purist members of the Astartes. Their willingness to assist the Mechanicum and Rogue Traders has paid off, and the chapter has access to more advanced weapons and armor than other chapters. They have a large amount of MK8 power armor and experimental new weapons.

Combat Doctrine

The Ice Hawks are masters of fleet engagements and boarding actions, striking at critical areas of a ship before rapidly moving to the next target. On the ground, the Hawks engage in feints, ambushes, and surgical strikes aimed at pulling apart the enemy army and destroying it piecemeal. They usually play a supporting role when working with other chapters, as their organizational structure usually means fewer marines are active in a warzone than other strike forces. The Ice Hawks operate by weakening the enemy's rear echelon and forcing them to expend resources protecting assets behind the lines.

When attacking, tactical squads and sternguard squads will move forward and engage the enemy, drawing the enemy's strengths towards them. When the enemy is engaged, assault squads and dreadnoughts deep strike behind the front lines, slaughtering the enemy with their backs turned. Vanguard make precision strikes against heavily armed units and tanks. Once the enemy is in disarray, the tactical squads move forward to mop up the survivors.

Organization

The Ice Hawks are comprised of 15 companies, 14 tactical companies and 1 veteran company. Each company of the Ice Hawks recruits from one specific island-state. The size of a company is based on the size of the population of the state, and varies from 50 warriors of the 7th company to 145 warriors in the 4th. The companies are very independent of each other, much like the people from whom they recruit. Each company contains it's own motor-pool, scout auxilia, and veteran unit. Each company is very close knit within it's own structure, and shares a special connection with it's home island state. The small size of each company and independent command structure make it easy for the Ice Hawks to respond to threats and crises that arise. The island states are very distrustful of each other, and the companies share some of this distrust, to a limited degree.

The 1st company is the exception to the organization of the Ice Hawks. The 1st is the veteran company and selects warriors from each company. Only the 1st possesses tactical dreadnought armor, and each member of the company fights as a terminator. Whenever a warrior is accepted into the 1st company, he gives up his family name and takes the name of his Terminator armor in it's stead. A member of the 1st company renounces all pledges to family and company, instead pledging to serve Techrys as a whole. The 1st company is the only unifying group on Techrys and within the Ice Hawks.

Even though the Chapter maintains a fortress monastery, each company has it's own fleet and will be on patrol for years or decades at a time. Due to the independence of each company, the chapter can rarely bring it's numbers to bear against one enemy, rather, each company will support other chapters on crusade.

There is no central command or chapter master of the Ice Hawks. The duties of the Chapter Master are taken by the 1st captain. The 1st captains main duties are to ensure that the fortress monastery remains protected. Companies will rotate this duty, with 1-3 companies defending Techrys at all times.

[CKO]

It is solid but it is kind of dry, if someone were to ask me who are the Ice Hawks? They are nice marines who aid anyone and everyone and they like to attack from behind after the enemy has engaged the front lines. You can atleast tell us who they hate the most.

[Ace Debonair]

The masters of these regions are Ice Hawks, massive birds who can fly for hundreds of miles, and survive in the harshest conditions. These birds are seen as messengers of the gods by the people of Techrys IV, and are treated with a mixture of reverence and fear. It is from these birds that the Ice Hawks received their name.

 

And here was me thinking they were named after Techrys' famous Black Wolves. :P

Maybe you ought to change the name of the creature, something like White Hawks or Frost Hawks - just to make it easier to differentiate between the beast and the chapter.

 

Also, messengers 'of the gods'?

Which gods are we talking about here? :lol:

 

The Ice Hawks are much more open to helping other Imperial factions, and are usually the first to arrive when help is requested. They are also willing to provide protection to Mechanicus expeditions, Inquisistion strike forces, and occasionally Rogue Trader fleets. In this role, they are seen as unorthodox at best and mercenaries at worst by more purist members of the Astartes. Their willingness to assist the Mechanicum and Rogue Traders has paid off, and the chapter has access to more advanced weapons and armor than other chapters. They have a large amount of MK8 power armor and experimental new weapons.

Which would be just fine and dandy if the AdMech made new experimental weapons, instead of sticking rigidly to the same stuff all the time. :D

Likewise the advanced tech stuff. I doubt very much your chapter would have more advanced things than the 1st founding chapters, such as the Iron Hands, who are also buddies with the AdMech.

 

 

The Ice Hawks are comprised of 15 companies, 14 tactical companies and 1 veteran company. Each company of the Ice Hawks recruits from one specific island-state. The size of a company is based on the size of the population of the state, and varies from 50 warriors of the 7th company to 145 warriors in the 4th. The companies are very independent of each other, much like the people from whom they recruit. Each company contains it's own motor-pool, scout auxilia, and veteran unit. Each company is very close knit within it's own structure, and shares a special connection with it's home island state. The small size of each company and independent command structure make it easy for the Ice Hawks to respond to threats and crises that arise. The island states are very distrustful of each other, and the companies share some of this distrust, to a limited degree.

Why?

What prompted them to be different from the codex, and to have wacky numbers of marines in each company?

Also, those companies are mostly gonna have to be small, otherwise you're going to draw some Inquisitorial attention for having more power than you're meant to. ^_^

The 1st company is the exception to the organization of the Ice Hawks. The 1st is the veteran company and selects warriors from each company. Only the 1st possesses tactical dreadnought armor, and each member of the company fights as a terminator. Whenever a warrior is accepted into the 1st company, he gives up his family name and takes the name of his Terminator armor in it's stead. A member of the 1st company renounces all pledges to family and company, instead pledging to serve Techrys as a whole. The 1st company is the only unifying group on Techrys and within the Ice Hawks.

Your Raven Guard successor has a Deathwing?

I'd change that, personally. Leave the DA stuff to the DA, perhaps. Terminators are way cool, but having that many suits outside of the Dark Angels is rather unlikely.

 

You can atleast tell us who they hate the most.

Hatred alone does not a good chapter make. It's one detail amongst hundreds. Hell, most of my chapters are equal opportunity Astartes - they'll fight anyone.

 

Although, I will admit, this chapter could use some personality.

Why do they want to help everyone? Why the connections with the AdMech,Inquisiiton and everyone else? Why do they have such a crazy organisation, and only fight alongside other chapters?

 

If you've not read it yet, may I recommend the DIY guide stickied at the top of the forum? It's a great read, and should offer you some neat ideas to play with and insipration on how to develop the chapter.

[Walter Payton]

The Reductus sector was an area beset by threats and falling out of Imperial hands during the years of the mid 35th millennium. Pirates, traitors and aliens stalked the void, and loyal planets were few and far between. The dangers of the sector made interplanetary travel incredibly dangerous, and trade and security were abandoned by all but a few. In order to combat the tide of Insurrection, the High Lords ordered the creation of a new chapter to restore order in the sector. The Ice Hawks were established during the 10th founding from Raven Guard geneseed. The chapter was originally fleet-bourne, and within two centuries of their inception, they had cleared most of the main shipping lanes in the sector. During this early period the chapter worked closely with deathwatch kill-teams. Their assistance to the Xeno- Hunters made them many powerful allies, and for their efforts they were given rights to any planet they wished. Portents from the Emperor's Tarot and visions from the Librarium guided the Hawks to the Techrys System, where they established a fortress-monastery on Techrys IV.

 

This introduction seems staid and cliched. The use of well-known metaphors, turns of phrase and imagery (such as 'tide of Insurrection', 'all but a few', 'few and far between') simply lessens the impact. Their arr a cuple of spelin mixtake two.

 

Find an official founding and incorporate your chapter into that.

 

The Ice Hawks are much more open to helping other Imperial factions, and are usually the first to arrive when help is requested. They are also willing to provide protection to Mechanicus expeditions, Inquisistion strike forces, and occasionally Rogue Trader fleets. In this role, they are seen as unorthodox at best and mercenaries at worst by more purist members of the Astartes. Their willingness to assist the Mechanicum and Rogue Traders has paid off, and the chapter has access to more advanced weapons and armor than other chapters. They have a large amount of MK8 power armor and experimental new weapons.

 

Why? Why have they made this departure from the norm? If you want mercenaries, then write a traitor warband. Having 'experimental new weapons' smacks of Mary Sue as well.

 

The Ice Hawks are masters of fleet engagements and boarding actions, striking at critical areas of a ship before rapidly moving to the next target. On the ground, the Hawks engage in feints, ambushes, and surgical strikes aimed at pulling apart the enemy army and destroying it piecemeal. They usually play a supporting role when working with other chapters, as their organizational structure usually means fewer marines are active in a warzone than other strike forces. The Ice Hawks operate by weakening the enemy's rear echelon and forcing them to expend resources protecting assets behind the lines.

 

When attacking, tactical squads and sternguard squads will move forward and engage the enemy, drawing the enemy's strengths towards them. When the enemy is engaged, assault squads and dreadnoughts deep strike behind the front lines, slaughtering the enemy with their backs turned. Vanguard make precision strikes against heavily armed units and tanks. Once the enemy is in disarray, the tactical squads move forward to mop up the survivors.

 

Why? It would be a much better section if there was a reason for this tactic. Sternguard should be capitalized.

 

The Ice Hawks are comprised of 15 companies, 14 tactical companies and 1 veteran company. Each company of the Ice Hawks recruits from one specific island-state. The size of a company is based on the size of the population of the state, and varies from 50 warriors of the 7th company to 145 warriors in the 4th. The companies are very independent of each other, much like the people from whom they recruit. Each company contains it's own motor-pool, scout auxilia, and veteran unit. Each company is very close knit within it's own structure, and shares a special connection with it's home island state. The small size of each company and independent command structure make it easy for the Ice Hawks to respond to threats and crises that arise. The island states are very distrustful of each other, and the companies share some of this distrust, to a limited degree.

 

Why do they have the extra companies. What censure has this drawn from the Inquisition? Why did they get away with it. And don't justify it with a Chapter of Legend as an example.

 

Only the 1st possesses tactical dreadnought armor

 

I know. This feature is common to all space marine chapters. Having it fight exclusively as a terminator company also smacks of Mary Sue; even the Ultramarines do not possess 100 terminator suits.

 

Even though the Chapter maintains a fortress monastery, each company has it's own fleet and will be on patrol for years or decades at a time. Due to the independence of each company, the chapter can rarely bring it's numbers to bear against one enemy, rather, each company will support other chapters on crusade.

 

There is no central command or chapter master of the Ice Hawks. The duties of the Chapter Master are taken by the 1st captain. The 1st captains main duties are to ensure that the fortress monastery remains protected. Companies will rotate this duty, with 1-3 companies defending Techrys at all times.

 

Flesh this out, why, how et cetera.

 

This has some very good ideas and it is well fleshed out. But some sections need work. There are a few spelling and grammar mistakes that annoy the reader, and sometimes you use excessive and overwrought language. Brevity is the soul of wit. I would recommend that you check out Orwell's 5 rules of effective writing and some of the chapters in the Librarium. Keep working at this, and try to look available for a Lexicanum to read over it. In the meantime, check out the:

 

The Death's Heads, by KingHongKong

The Ice Lords by Octavulg

The Blades of Duty, by Grand Master Tyrak

[Octavulg]

The Ice Hawks are comprised of 15 companies, 14 tactical companies and 1 veteran company. Each company of the Ice Hawks recruits from one specific island-state. The size of a company is based on the size of the population of the state, and varies from 50 warriors of the 7th company to 145 warriors in the 4th. The companies are very independent of each other, much like the people from whom they recruit. Each company contains it's own motor-pool, scout auxilia, and veteran unit. Each company is very close knit within it's own structure, and shares a special connection with it's home island state. The small size of each company and independent command structure make it easy for the Ice Hawks to respond to threats and crises that arise. The island states are very distrustful of each other, and the companies share some of this distrust, to a limited degree.

 

But what happened to family and helpiness?

 

There is no central command or chapter master of the Ice Hawks. The duties of the Chapter Master are taken by the 1st captain. The 1st captains main duties are to ensure that the fortress monastery remains protected. Companies will rotate this duty, with 1-3 companies defending Techrys at all times.

 

This could use some further explanation, since a Chapter Master mostly, well, commands the Chapter. What else might he do? Especially what else might he do that would justify all that Terminator armor (FIY, the Iron Hands spread it out - why not do the same?).

 

* * *

 

OK - how would this unique structure they have arise?

 

Furthermore, there seem to be a few interesting little themes running through the IA - family and speed are the two that spring to mind. But you don't seem to have explored them very much or stretched them further than the section they are initially mentioned. I kinda like it, but at the moment you aren't really realizing the potential that's here. A chapter dedicated to speed and family could be interesting (ever hear of Clan Ice Hellion, out of curiousity?), but I think you'll need to develop them further. At least you've got the space, though.