The Destroyers, the White Scars successor

[Hrvat]

This is the result of an on and off work on these guys over a period of more than year and a half. (the 1st and 2nd drafts can be found here and here)

I hope you will enjoj reading about this Chapter as much as I have writing about it. So without further delay I present you

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The Keepers of the Truth

The Destroyers

Space Marine Chapter

"Strength through unity! Unity through strength!"

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Since their creation in the earliest days of the Imperium, the Space Marines of the Destroyers have been feared by their foes and respected by their peers. Ferocious and relentless in battle they have stood watch over the domains of man for over ten millennia. Keeping true to their ancient traditions and the oath they had taken.

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The Sundered Brotherhood

Following the 2nd Founding the ‘Pacifier’ sought to reforge the Space Marine brotherhood. Invitations were sent to all the Chapters to attend the games held in honour of the fiftieth anniversary of the victory over arch heretic Horus. Representatives from all the Primarch bloodlines came as well as some of the Primarchs. Bonds thought broken were remade and new comradeships were established. Following the success of the first gathering Pribina organised another two decades later and another at the beginning of the next century. Each more visited that the previous one. But as the Primarchs started to disappear fewer and fewer Chapters came to the subsequent gatherings. By the time of his death Pribina’s dream was no longer.

The Destroyers still maintain contacts with more Chapters than most, due to their highly dispersed nature, but have maintained close relations with only a few. Among these are some of the descendants of those with whom they share the experience of fighting for the Emperor’s Palace. Included into this inner circle are the heirs of Russ, Vulkan, Corax and Guilliman that still occasionally meet to exchange experiences and discuss matters of battle doctrine. Last such gathering happened in the shadows of the Conclave of Gathalamor.

For long centuries Destroyers wandered the galaxy, passing judgement on the foes of humanity, often going beyond the established borders of the Imperium. On completion of a particularly bloody campaign against the Orks, at the very edge of the galaxy, they came upon a lonely star system. Orbiting an ancient blue dwarf was a single planet with three lunar companions. Intrigued to find no trace of the barbarous aliens that infest this part of the galaxy the Marines made planet fall to investigate. Battle weary as they were the landscapes touched what little remained of their humanity with their enchanting savage beauty. Very soon scouts returned to the landing site and reported that people lived upon this forgotten paradise. Determined to meet this lost strand of humanity himself Great Khan Serhan led the way. Marching into the clearing surrounding the closest settlement he and his bodyguards made history. People working in the field turned to the sound of newcomers, their eyes wide with fear. Then as one they dropped to their knees awestruck. None of them could believe on whom they have gazed upon, the mighty hammer in his hand, the golden eagle emblazoned on his chest, nobility in his bearing and his gigantic stature could mean only one thing. The Thunder god, master of heavens and vanquisher of the Serpent, himself had descended from the heavens. Serhan called them to rise to their feet but the only thing they understood was his motion. As the elders of the community approached him, to his surprise he recognised their speech. It was some distant dialect of the language in which the earliest records of the Chapter were written. These were the words of Pribina Khan and some of the other founding fathers. There was no doubt, this was a sign. The Emperor wanted the Destroyers to build their future here.

Zemlya, as the natives call the planet, is a large world orbiting a dying star. For the most part it is covered with oceans, with a single continent stretching between two polar circles. There are other pieces of land but they are out on the ocean to far from the coastline, uninhabited and insignificant in size. Most of the continent is made out of mountain ranges covered with dark coniferous forests. These give way to grassy flatlands as one comes closer to the poles. Along the equator the mountains are the highest as the tectonic plates push towards each other creating a highland plateau almost devoid of any precipitation. Human communities on Zemlya have developed in valleys between the mountains and are mostly isolated from each other by powerful waterways, gaping chasms and stinking marshlands. Life is harsh for the damp soil yields little crop and the game is rare. What little foodstuff is gathered must be fiercely defended from neighbours and roaming bands of disinherited youths. Such life breeds hardy and warlike people, perfect candidates for becoming Emperor’s Angels of Death.

The culture of the natives was easily merged with that of the Destroyers. Chaplains wove the history of the Chapter and the myths of the inhabitants into a single whole. Thunder god became the Emperor and Horus took place of the Serpent, while the Marines were turned into the heavenly companions of the gods that watch over humanity. For the most part the Chapter left the people to their own devices descending into their ranks only to gather fresh recruits from the most promising youths. As their own abode the Destroyers took the planet’s largest moon, Myesec. This large satellite has its own atmosphere and is rich in mineral wealth so it was a natural choice for the location of the fortress-monastery. Surrounding the main superstructure of the fortress vast mines and forges were been built to supply the Chapter with raw materials and equipment. The people of Zemlya call this place Suarogovo, for the glow of the foundries can be seen during the night from the planet below. The wandering holy men, known as Zretsi, teach that the Thunder god forges his weapons for the next confrontation with the cursed wyrm. The other two moons of Zemlya are known as Mara and Shishka. Both are small balls of ice and rock and house powerful defence laser batteries. The forges of Myesec as well as attached shipyards that orbit it match the production output of a small forge world. Had the Chapter home world been placed closer to the Imperial core this would seem like a rare luxury, but here on the edge of the Astronomicon, beyond the established borders of the Imperium it is a necessity. The machine shops and assembly lines of the Destroyers supply the armies on scattered human worlds in this region of the Halo Stars and the rare Imperial Navy patrols use the docks of Suarogovo as their main resupply base.

The influence and the responsibility of the Chapter stretches beyond the boundaries of Zemlyan system to encompass almost a hundred worlds along the galactic rim. Collectively these systems are known as the Qassiarsuk sector. Isolated as they are, they are mostly independent from the rest of the Imperium relying heavily on the protection of the Destroyers. This task knows no pause, nor respite, for there is only endless war for survival, against the heretic, the mutant and the xeno in the dim light of the fur flung stars.

Organisation

Following the breakup of the Legions the new found Chapters adopted the organisation laid down by Roboute Guilliman in the Codex Astartes. Accordingly the Destroyers were divided into ten companies, also known as Brotherhoods, of one hundred battle brothers, each led by a Khan. The Codex proscribes that the Chapter should be made out a veteran, four battle, four reserve and a scout company and originally the Destroyers followed these tenets, but over the years were forced to adapt to their needs.

Gods, Men and Machines

The Adepts of Mars and the Destroyers share a common fascination with technology but from very different perspectives. While the members of the Adeptus Mechanicus venerate the machines, bordering on worship the Chapter’s battle brothers see technology as a simple tool to be employed in the battle for humanities survival. It is their firm belief that one day technology and science will be pivotal in releasing mankind from the clutches of religion. Both organisations have in the past worked together to mutual benefit but that doesn’t mean they are friends as they see the way each other is using mechanical wonders at their disposal as heretical.

Chapter’s Techmarines are only rarely sent to Mars to receive further training and those that are sent are veterans of many winters firmly entrenched in the teaching of the Chapter. This combined with the extensive forges the Destroyers have built has caused some among the Adeptus Mechanicus to view the Chapter with suspicion and even enmity. But such people are in minority for the Destroyers have always been forthcoming with their findings of techno-arcana leaving little reason to doubt their intentions towards the Martian Technocracy.

The Chapter is rarely low on supplies and has been observed in the past to come to the aid of their brother Chapters with shipments of power armour, rhino chassis and on rare occasions even a few suits of the rare tactical dreadnought armour. Such gifts are never taken lightly for the recipients always feel obliged to one day return the favour even though the Destroyer give these things with no stings attached.

The 1st Brotherhood consists of hardened veterans and is led by the Great Kniez, as the Chapter Master has to be known among the Destroyers. These warriors are capable of deploying in powerful tactical dreadnought armour and form the mailed fist of the Chapter. Curiously the Destroyers veterans have been observed donning carapace armour and performing missions behind enemy lines when the experience of neophytes would be insufficient. Members of the Brotherhood often fight as part of the Deathwatch and it is not uncommon to see these brethren deployed together when they return to the Chapter. A curios custom exists that prohibits battle brothers to be promoted into the 1st before they have reached the age of one hundred. It is a throwaway to their very origins when the founding fathers were all veterans of at least a century of war. Therefore the Chapter has a slightly smaller 1st company than it is usual.

Brotherhoods composed of standard battle brothers do not have designated numerals, but each carries the name of their current commander, known as Kniez. On average the Brotherhood numbers around one hundred marines but this can range from as few as thirty, in a battle worn crusading Brotherhood, to as many as two hundred, in a rear echelon Brotherhood. Unlike the Codex Chapter division between battle and reserve companies, and their further subdivisions along squad lines the Destroyers have developed their own traditions. Due to the nature of the Chapter’s engagements and the influences of their new home world a new organisation was adopted. The Brotherhood is made out of varying number of squads called Druzynas that can have between five and twenty warriors, each led by a Voivoda, a veteran too young to be promoted into the 1st Brotherhood. Druzyna was developed from the wandering warbands of unsettled adolescent boys that serve as the main source of recruits for the Chapter.

Due to the dispersed nature of the Chapter, Brotherhoods are required to operate on their own for extended periods of time and therefore squads are not permanently divided on the basis of equipment, but individual squads are issued specialised gear before an engagement. The Destroyers divide Brotherhoods upon criteria of their current task. At all times there are two crusading Brotherhoods, whose duty is to seek out and destroy enemies of Mankind in their lairs. The second group made of four Brotherhoods is known as the front echelon and it is their duty to respond to threats assailing the Imperium. The last two Brotherhoods belong to the rear echelon and they are tasked with protecting Zemlya and the rest of the Qassiarsuk sector. They usually have the highest number of fresh battle brothers as Neophytes usually join these Brotherhoods once they are promoted.

To bind the Chapter together once in a decade a ceremony called the Blooding is held. There every battle brother gives a drop of his blood to be mixed with wine for the feast. At the end of the celebration a lottery is held and marines are randomly divided once more between the Brotherhoods. Through this the Chapter spreads the experience among the Brotherhoods and any affiliation beyond that to the Chapter as a whole is fleeting, what really counts is the unity of all the Chapter’s warriors.

The Chapter has no 10th company as it can be seen in other more Codex adherent Chapters. Its place is taken by a schooling institution known as Academia. This is not a military formation but part of the Chapter in charge of recruitment and training just as Librarius is in charge of psykers and record keeping or Armoury is of Chapter’s vehicles. When individuals are deemed ready for combat duty they will be attached to one of the Brotherhoods. Usually this will be one of the rear echelon ones but sometimes they will join others, though never a crusading one. Academia has been greatly expanded over the last few centuries to meet the demands of the battlefield and some recruits have been taken from other worlds within the sector to maintain the fighting strength of the Chapter. A previously almost unheard thing has become almost a norm as the M41 draws to a close. Squads from the Academia are being dispatched to combat foes threatening the Zemlya sub-sector as other forces are occupied elsewhere. These aspirants are given power armour, even though they are not fully ready for such an upgrade, and be led to war by their tutors. The casualty rate among these brethren is high endangering the very future of the Chapter. Great Kniez Hors spends many long nights pondering what to do and while the answer stares at him from the depths of history the experience of the Badab war stays his hand.

The special nature of the Destroyers duties and needs shaped other parts of the Chapter as well. The Apothecarion, Armoury and the Fleet Command have been greatly expanded, with several hundred Marines serving the Emperor as part of these formations. In the fleet department this is most noticeable. Command of the Fleet rests in hands of the Admiral and while in the past one of the rear echelon Brotherhoods provided Marines and the commander for the Fleet in more recent years a separate military formation had grown to take the place of the battle brethren needed more elsewhere. The rank of the Admiral is now separate from that of the Kniez and he has his own contingent of Marines to serve upon ships and act as bodyguards to Captains, Commodores, Lieutenants and Techmarines. Accordingly ever since the Chapter took over the protection of the Qassiarsuk sector its Fleet has steadily been growing. Following a particularly vicious outbreak of Ork and Chaos raiders in the late M38 the Great Kniez of the time gave order to add pure gunships and carriers to the Chapter’s fleet. Addition of these has been slow lest the Destroyers attract the attention of the Imperial Navy Segmentum Command at Cypra Mundi, but in the last century the shipyards on Myesec have been working overtime to produce as many ships as possible to plug the gaps in the defences of the sector. This did not go unnoticed and an Inquisitorial investigation has been launched. What the future bodes for the Destroyers is uncertain at best.

Combat Doctrine

The warriors of the Chapter are schooled in the ways of war as they are laid down in the Codex Astartes and though they have deviated from the organisational dictates the Destroyers have often been lauded as an outstanding example of Codex battle doctrine. All ranks are able to make tactical decisions and are encouraged to act on initiative. The Chapter combine all arms approach in flexible balanced battle groups. Each of which can present an opponent with a diversity of threats before pressing their attack so swiftly that the foe is overwhelmed before he can react. They retain their traditional skills in lightning fast hit and run attacks and if needed can mimic their primogenitors approach to war.

Since the inclusion of recruits from Zemlya an affinity for fire based weapons and thunder hammers has been noticed but the choice is never made at the expense of tactical flexibility. It is simply that Marines feel more in communion with the Emperor when using these weapons. The art of stalking is highly respected among the Destroyers, for the game of Zemlya is rare and elusive, and often veteran warriors will perform scouting missions emulating the skills of the hunter stalking its prey. The Destroyers are among the most active, if not the most active Chapter in the Imperium. Their forces can be seen fighting across the galaxy, often in support of other agents of the Imperium. Though most often this will be other Space Marines with whom they share a special bond.

The brethren of the Chapter have often found themselves battling beyond enemy lines where versatility of a fighting unit is paramount. To accommodate their needs and maintain tactical flexibility the Techmarines of the Chapter performed several modifications to their equipment. The bolter’s grip has been modified so that it resembles that of a pistol for easier manipulation with a single hand and magnetic clasps have been integrated into the marine’s gauntlet to ease the holding of the bolter. This allows marine squads to be issued chainswords so they can double as both ranged and close quarter units should the need dictate it.

For the reasons lost in bygone eras the Destroyers have been noted to fight with particular savagery against the members of the Emperor’s Children Traitor Legion and those that side with them. Inquisitorial reports stretching the length of Imperium's history are littered with accounts of bloodshed performed by the Destroyers against these foes and at all times one of the front echelon Brotherhoods is patrolling the regions around the Eye of Terror for any sign of these foul traitors.

Beliefs

The Destroyers are strict followers of the Imperial Truth as has been preached during the Great Crusade and passed onto them by their predecessors. They are champions of logic and reason in a galaxy descending into madness. Their own teachings they have merged with the traditions of the Zemlyans. In the form of the Thunder god they recognise the Emperor and explained the existence of the native’s myth as well as countless other myths that have survived from Terra’s distant past as the racial memory to the first confrontation between the Emperor and Chaos at the very birth of humanity. After all isn’t the Emperor’s personal symbol the thunderbolt.

As it is customary among the Adeptus Astartes the Destroyers give thanks to the Emperor for their existence and acknowledge Jaghatai Khan as their Primarch and the source of their geneseed that transforms them into the ultimate protectors of mankind. Accordingly the Destroyers have very little religious overtones and maintain few chapels and shrines, which are mostly used by their guests.

The way of the Destroyer

Occasionally when the power of the enemies of the Imperium waxes a battle brother will be selected during the Blooding to take up the ‘Pacifier’s’ sword and don his armour. From that moment forth he will leave behind his personality and embody the Chapter itself. He will become what every Space Marine knows lies at the core of his being. Gone will be the chivalrous warrior of yesteryears, in his place a slayer will stalk the stars akin to the ancient god of war and death risen from the underworld to pass judgement upon the foes of humanity. Now he will be the Destroyer, the Chosen of the Emperor.

The warrior selected will be mourned by his brethren as if he had died, for in a sense he did, and put in charge of a formation specifically gathered for such an occasion from across the Chapter. Sometimes other Chapters will send forces to assist the Destroyer, ranging from a single warrior to an entire company. This task force is known as the Judicators for they enact the judgement of the Space Marine brotherhood and woe betide those that tempt their wrath.

The Destroyers believe in the ultimate unification of humanity and its supremacy over all other species no matter their origin or apparent power. Yet their view of what consists humanity is very narrow and anyone straying only a little from the accepted human norm will be purged. Several times in the past abhuman colonies have been devastated when the Destroyers were near but to this date the Chapter has managed to justify their actions. The Space Marines are well known for their Xenocidal campaigns but there are few that can match the number of such purges conducted by the Destroyers.

What the battle brothers feel for those unfortunate enough to be born as ‘not human’ pales in comparison to the maelstrom of feelings directed towards those that sundered their link with the rest of humanity and among those the former members of the Astartes brotherhood hold a special place. Long ago when the truth behind the Horus Heresy was revealed the ‘Centenarians’ made an oath never to rest until every last one of those that abandoned the Emperors light has been sacrificed on the altar of victory and all their achievement cast to ruin, completely destroyed.

For all their ferocity the Destroyers have a more civilised side. They are firm believers that Space Marines are more than just weapons in the hands of humanity. It is taught by the Chapter’s Chaplains that to be a good Space Marine an individual must also be a complete person. This is emphasised in the schooling methods provided to aspirants and by later encouraging battle brothers to pursue their fields of interest in what little free time they have. Most will expand their studies with subject that in one way or another involve war, but some will develop their skills in writing, poetry, sculpting or painting while others might become orators, tutors or singers. The time other Chapters usually spend on prayers the Destroyers use to further their own education, for what good is a guardian if he doesn’t understand the value of that which he is guarding.

Their view of the Emperor and religion as a whole clashes noticeably with the teachings of the Ecclesiarchy. In the early days of the Imperium when various cults of Emperor worship were just spreading the Chapter conducted widespread prosecutions and purges of such gatherings. Unintentionally these pogroms helped the cult of the Saviour Emperor to become the dominant religion of the Imperium. Rather than continuing a pointless task the cold logic of the Destroyers weighted the situation a decided to act accordingly. They would no longer persecute the believers of the Temple for they saw the benefits of faith to the fighting resolve of the Imperial citizens. They would continue their own traditions and maintain the truth until the time comes and the Emperor descends from the Golden Throne to enlighten those that have strayed. Should any resist the Destroyers would do what they were created for.

For all their loathing of religious beliefs the Destroyers are strangely tolerant towards beliefs and religions of human worlds they encounter in the void that had no previous contact with the Imperium, as long as these have not been tainted by Chaos. There mimicking the practices of their founders they go to great lengths to educate these lost brothers and show them the error of their ways. For as they see it the source of every human religion and every myth is the Emperor and his actions in the distant human past.

As the galaxy grows ever darker and the Imperium sways from the blows coming from every direction two currents have started to emerge among the Destroyers, known as Hope and Reason. One believes that the moment of Emperor’s return is imminent and that they must be prepared to rejoin the enlightenment of Humanity. The other championed by the more realistic of brethren see this as the time before the fall. Soon the Emperor’s gigantic will shall finally surrender to death, for after all he is only human, a great human, but human none the less and the Imperium will collapse upon its own weight pummelled from the outside. Then will begin the real reason why they were created all those millennia ago. It will fall onto the backs of the Space Marines to carry humanity once more from the darkness into the light. The Destroyers will be ready and all will fear their approach.

Geneseed

The gene-seed of the Destroyers appeared stable and initially displayed no aberrations or mutations. However, with the passing of centuries and an extremely high mortality and recruitment rates some peculiar effects have emerged. Due to a mutation of the Melanochrome and the Occulobe organs the marines suffer from the spreading of the pupil. On the younger brethren it is barely noticeable but veterans of many decades will eyes as black as coal.

M Y E S E C

ZM 01.03

Orb. Dist. 0.67 AU

0.94G/Temp +6 C

Adeptus Astartes Homeworld

Tithe Grade: Adeptus Non

Aestimare: C546

Population: 280 000

In addition the Biscopea gland is responsible for the heightened aggression and hyperactivity exhibited by Chapter’s brethren. For an unknown reason brothers are most prone to these effects when they receive their Black Carapace implant and will usually be deployed as dedicated assault units to better utilize their temporary predisposition. As marines age the hormonal imbalance lessens and eventually disappears all together. Some unfortunate souls never outgrow that phase and their state deteriorates to the point where they have to be restrained when not in battle, less they kill themselves through constant physical activity. Though some outside the Chapter consider the existence of these members as shameful and a sign of weakness and impurity the Destroyers care not. To them these brethren are simply another battle asset in delivering Emperors wrath to the enemies of humanity. What lies hidden is the fact that Chapter’s apothecaries sometimes use chemo-stimuli upon Neophytes about to undergo the Black Carapace implantations to further the chances of instigating aberrant hyperactive behaviour if battlefield conditions demand the inclusions of such berserkers into the roster of battle.

A few of the most recent recruits began to show a new mutation observed on the Ossmodula. The bones of the Neophytes become much thicker and heavier providing greater resilience to the Marine but the side effects can be disastrous. The reaction time of the brethren is reduced and the added weight combined with their hyperactivity puts strain on the circulatory system. Blood vessels burst during exercises that would otherwise be considered within limits puting marines in danger if they are not able to use their abilities to the fullest. The most horrible manifestation of this new mutation is the ossification of the eye socket. Pressured by the bone the eye pops out and has to be replaced by a bionic one.

Great Khan Hors has ordered extensive investigations into the purity of the Chapter’s geneseed and the correctness of the cultivation and implantation techniques employed. He is even considering approaching the Adeptus Mechanicus, and risk the scrutiny of the Ordo Hereticus, for sets of Destroyers geneseed from the earliest days of the Imperium. This decision hangs heavily upon him for the Chapter had sired at least three successors in the past and any decision affecting them would reflect on their descendants.

Battlecry

Spoken before going to battle:

Commander - “Glory to Terra”, brethren - “Death to Her foes”.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The article will be further embelished as I get some miniatures painted and photographed so they can be inserted.

So fellow Astartes fire away!

Cheers

Hrvat

[PorridgeMeister]

Don't know if anybody else is going to post, but I like it. The Destroyers have a good colour scheme, an unique chapter symbol and interesting background. Note that I am not an expert on writing IAs at all, I just like it. :cuss

[Ecritter]

Okay, I've read through it. Found it a very good read ... and for the most part well written. Has some spelling, and use of wrong words ... but that can be fixed.

 

Not sure if it's necessary to give them such a regal history, but it reads well and doesn't break down the universe in my eyes ... so I have no complaints.

 

Looking forward to seeing them completed.

[Hrvat]

Okay, I've read through it. Found it a very good read ... and for the most part well written. Has some spelling, and use of wrong words ... but that can be fixed.

 

Since I am not a native speaker could you please point me which words are wrong.

 

Not sure if it's necessary to give them such a regal history, but it reads well and doesn't break down the universe in my eyes ... so I have no complaints.

 

Looking forward to seeing them completed.

 

Considering the 'regal' history. That was one of my greatest dilemas. Apart from this article I have several previous working drafts that some four drafts ago divereged between this and the less 'regal' history.

 

 

My original idea was to develop this neglected White Scar successor.

 

The themes I wanted were:

Keepers of the Imperial Truth

Violent persecutors of aliens and traitors

Terran descent

Fleet Based/Crusading

Codex adherence - doctrinal and organisational*

 

*this last bit is something I am still torn on, when I started puting the force together(as well as forming first ideas) it was still middle 4th edition and these first marines were modeled to reflect the traits system of the time(Trust your battle-brothers & Faithful unto death). They are wielding Bolters and Chainswords as I wanted to show their need to carry more equipment than usualy since they often fought unsuported and that also reflected in that they had less chices. Now with the traits gone I have 30 some marines equiped in a way no loger possible via C:SM. Now my dilema is should I put the way my models look into the IA or should I ignore that completely and make them a dedicated Codex chapter second only in their dedication to Imperial Fists and Ultramarines, because I not sure little quirks I have put into the Organisation actually add anything to the Chapter.

 

 

Cheers

 

Hrvat

[Supreme Overlord]

Very cool, I like the whole "Imperial Truth" aspect of it. The history section is very well written and completely captured my imagination. Good work!

 

Only criticism I have is the "tenth company are the largest in existence" thing. Personally, it seems a bit over the top to say that this Chapter, of the thousand that exist, has the largest scout company in existence. But thats just me, don't take any notice of this if you would prefer. :)

[Hrvat]

Very cool, I like the whole "Imperial Truth" aspect of it. The history section is very well written and completely captured my imagination. Good work!

 

Only criticism I have is the "tenth company are the largest in existence" thing. Personally, it seems a bit over the top to say that this Chapter, of the thousand that exist, has the largest scout company in existence. But thats just me, don't take any notice of this if you would prefer. :)

 

I have guessed that the 10th company could stick out as a sore thumb so I added "as far as the Administratum of Terra is aware" and we know that they aren't aware of great deal of things :P

 

I wanted to show that the Chapter has not just above average number of Scouts but really lots of them without stepping on anyones toes.

 

 

The WIP of the first Combat Squad "Khans Shadow" should be some time this evening.

 

Brother Sergeant Istvan and brothers Ante, Jacob, Yazgur and Adranus.

[Ecritter]

Ferocious and relentless in battle they have stood watch over the domains of man for over ten millennia.

 

My spell checker says thats not a word, suggest millennium.

 

Yet rather then leaving a trail of devastated worlds as most Space Marines were wont to do, the commander of this contingent, indulged his civilised streak and pushed the negotiations to the furthest limit deploying his forces only when all other options were exhausted.

 

Should be civilized.

 

As the White Scars marshalled their forces for the war the ‘Centenarians’ were reformed as the 10th veteran company of the Primarch's Brotherhood.

 

Should be marshaled.

 

Two or three times a century Destroyers organise various competitions and gatherings on one of their enormous hab-ships and brethren from across the Adeptus Astartes arrive to meet old friends and pit their abilities against the best the humanity has to offer.

 

Should be organize.

 

Even after ten millennia of such recruiting there hasn’t been a single instance of a parent refusing the ‘honour’.

 

See above.

 

Through millennia the ship has been extensively refitted to be able to accommodate various facilities usually contained by a fortress-monastery.

 

See above.

 

Organisation

 

Should be Organization.

 

Both organisations have often worked together to mutual benefit but that doesn’t mean they are friends as they see each other misusing or mistreating mechanical wonders at their disposal.

 

See above.

 

Both sides have recognised this apparent closeness and pacts bind the Forge World and the Chapter together.

 

Should be recognized.

 

Here the majority of the Chapter’s ships are built and in return wondrous finds of techno arcana encountered by the Destroyers is first despatched to Phaeton.

 

Should be dispatched.

 

Combined with their own Forgeships this results in the situation that the Destroyers almost always have surplus equipment that they are not shy from sharing with other Chapters further binding the Astartes brotherhood centred on them into a single whole.

 

Should be centered.

 

Following the breakup of the Legions the new found Chapters adopted the organisation laid down by Roboute Guilliman in the Codex Astartes.

 

See above.

 

These squads were founded following the battle for Terra when the ‘Pacifier’ saw a need for a specialised force capable of dealing with the inhabitants of the warp.

 

Should be specialized.

 

There is one final difference between a strict follower of the Codex organisation and the Destroyers.

 

See above.

 

Should the Destroyer fail to fulfil his task by the time of the next centennial Blooding ceremony he will be relieved of his duty and another chosen to his place.

 

Should be fulfill.

 

For all their ferocity the Destroyers have a more civilised side.

 

See above.

 

This is emphasised in the schooling methods provided to aspirants and by later encouraging battle brothers to pursue their fields of interest in what little free time they have.

 

Should be emphasized.

 

In avertedly these pogroms helped the cult of the Saviour Emperor to become the dominant religion of the Imperium.

 

Should be inadvertly and programs .... I think.

 

Suffice to say they haven’t fully complied with that instruction and the two organisations have often been at each other's throats.

 

See above. And should be others.

 

In the millennia following the Age of Apostasy the number of clashes has decreased yet both sides eagerly await a final reckoning that is bound to happen.

 

See above.

 

As marines age the hormonal disbalance lessens and eventually disappears all together.

 

Better as imbalance.

 

***********************

 

Those are the misspelled words .... wrong words will take me a bit longer. As you can see your biggest problem is the S and Z switching.

[Supreme Overlord]

Some of the S and Z switcharoos you have pointed out Ecritter, are just regional language differences. British English favours the 'S' while American English favours the 'Z'. I could be wrong on some specific words, but in general, thats the way things go. I'm guessing Hrvat is familiar with the British version of English.

[Ecritter]

Perhaps you're right .... I did ignore the ..our vs. ...or words.

[Dr_Boomstick]

In proper English (not some bastardised American variant :lol:) 'Millennia" is a word, 'Centred' is a word, and 'S' is used in place of 'Z' in many words. 'Pogroms' is also indeed a word, and means something entirely different from 'Programs'. I think the other word being looked for is 'Inadvertently'.

 

The other small spelling/grammar corrections listed are indeed correct though.

 

EDIT: Upon a dictionary search, 'Marshalled' is also the correct spelling.

[Ecritter]

In proper English (not some bastardised American variant :lol:) 'Millennia" is a word, 'Centred' is a word, and 'S' is used in place of 'Z' in many words. 'Pogroms' is also indeed a word, and means something entirely different from 'Programs'. I think the other word being looked for is 'Inadvertently'.

 

The other small spelling/grammar corrections listed are indeed correct though.

 

If I remember correctly, the 'bastardized' Americans kicked the 'proper' English butts. :P

 

Pogroms did not come up as misspelled, I just don't recognize the word.

[Dr_Boomstick]

Sorry, I'm still just bitter about having to use 'Sulfur' rather than 'Suphur' in my chemistry papers. :lol:

[Ecritter]

Sorry, I'm still just bitter about having to use 'Sulfur' rather than 'Suphur' in my chemistry papers. :lol:

 

No problem just ribbing on my part. :P

 

Hrvat is neither American nor English, I'm not sure which he should be using. I can only give advice on what I use.

[Dr_Boomstick]

*Will try to bring this to a close to avoid derailing the thread too far.*

 

I have the feeling that the English taught in Western Europe would be of the British variety, and so I would say for the sake of being consistant across the European continent, that this would be the one to use. However, it doesn't matter much as long as there is some continuity in which system you use. It looks sloppy to use 'color' and 'armour' in the same piece of writing for instance.

[Hrvat]

Thanks on pointing out the spelling mistakes. My tutors were british speaking so I was writing as I have learned to. I will correct the ones that do not originated from the differences in the dialects.

 

 

Cheers

 

Hrvat

[Antaro Torias]

Only criticism I have is the "tenth company are the largest in existence" thing. Personally, it seems a bit over the top to say that this Chapter, of the thousand that exist, has the largest scout company in existence. But thats just me, don't take any notice of this if you would prefer. :P

 

I have just checked on www.lexicanum.com and the Exorcists have two additional Scout Companies in their chapter due to unconventional training methods. This means that in order to have the largest scout company in existence the Destroyers would need a 10th Company which comprised of around 300 scouts. You may want to revise how you have compared your chapter and its companies to the imperial records.

 

Hope this helps,

 

Antaro Torias

[Hrvat]

Only criticism I have is the "tenth company are the largest in existence" thing. Personally, it seems a bit over the top to say that this Chapter, of the thousand that exist, has the largest scout company in existence. But thats just me, don't take any notice of this if you would prefer. :lol:

 

I have just checked on www.lexicanum.com and the Exorcists have two additional Scout Companies in their chapter due to unconventional training methods. This means that in order to have the largest scout company in existence the Destroyers would need a 10th Company which comprised of around 300 scouts. You may want to revise how you have compared your chapter and its companies to the imperial records.

 

Hope this helps,

 

Antaro Torias

 

I am aware of the Exorcists and it is no where mentioned that thier two companies combines are the largest such formations in existance and I have indeed invisioned the 10th company coming close to 300 members. In my opinion the Destroyers due to their nature are even more divided between the veterans and regular marines than other Chapters because if a marine isn't good enough to survive to become a veteran he will sooner than in other chapters meet its end due to how often Destroyers fight, so to mitigate that problem the Chapter maintains a large number of Neophytes in various stages of development so there is always a ready recruit that can step in to the shoes of the fallen.

[Antaro Torias]

I am aware of the Exorcists and it is no where mentioned that thier two companies combines are the largest such formations in existance and I have indeed invisioned the 10th company coming close to 300 members. In my opinion the Destroyers due to their nature are even more divided between the veterans and regular marines than other Chapters because if a marine isn't good enough to survive to become a veteran he will sooner than in other chapters meet its end due to how often Destroyers fight, so to mitigate that problem the Chapter maintains a large number of Neophytes in various stages of development so there is always a ready recruit that can step in to the shoes of the fallen.

 

Sorry, I must not have worded my criticism very well. What I meant to suggest was that you may want to change the way that you have compared your chapter to the imperial records. This could go something along the lines of...

 

Due to the extremely high attrition rate associated with the Destroyers' exhaustive combat operations, the chapter has been required to maintain a great number of additional neophytes so that they can quickly and easily replace fallen marines from the battle companies and continue their operations. This has made their Scout Company one of the largest Scout Companies recorded by the Adeptus Administratum. Only the Exorcist's have a greater number of Scouts on record, but they are split into three separate companies.

 

Hope this helps,

 

Antaro Torias

[Hrvat]

I will consider your suggestion but I have a question for you.

 

Why should I mention that only Exorcists have more Neophytes than them? We don't even know if Exorcists have the most Neophytes. All we know is that they have two additional Scout companies.

 

This doesn't mean I won't reword the paragraph I am merely asking why should I mention Exorcists.

 

 

 

Something for you guys to consider

 

Old version

New version

The way of the Destroyer

Once in a century during the feast of the Blooding an individual will be selected to lead the next great Hunt. He will abandon his personality and become the aspect of the Chapter itself, he will become the Destroyer. This rank evolved in the years prior to the death of the ‘Pacifier’ when he was no longer sufficiently fit to lead the Hunts himself. Therefore he would appoint one marine to take his place. The position of the Destroyer within the Chapter is something between the rank of the Master of the Hunt maintained by their primogenitors and the Emperors Champion seen among the bloodline of Rogal Dorn. It is his duty to lead the Judicators, as his strike force is known, for they bring the sentence of the Astartes Brotherhood upon their chosen target. The Judicators are an informal battle formation drawn from across the Chapter and usually including warriors from other Chapters. They will pursue their goal no matter what. Should the Destroyer fail to fulfil his task by the time of the next centennial Blooding ceremony he will be relieved of his duty and another chosen to his place. In the past that has happened only once but the Astartes Brotherhood refuses to speak of that event.

The way of the Destroyer

Occasionally when the power of the enemies of the Imperium waxes a battle brother will be selected during the Blooding to take up ‘Pacifier’s’ sword and don his armour. From that moment forth he will leave behind his personality and embody the Chapter itself. He will become what every Space Marine knows lies at the core of his being. Gone will be the chivalrous warrior of yesteryears, in his place a slayer will stalk the stars akin to the ancient god of war and death risen from the underworld to pass judgement upon the foes of humanity. Now he will be the Destroyer, the Chosen of the Emperor.

 

The warrior selected will be mourned by his brethren as if he had died, for in a sense he did, and put in charge of a formation specifically gathered for such an occasion from across the Chapter. Sometimes other Chapters will send forces to assist the Destroyer, rangeing from a single warrior to an entire company. This task force is known as the Judicators for they enact the judgement of the Space Marine brotherhood and woe betide those that tempt their wrath.

 

 

Is the second one batter and more line with rest of the article?

[Ecritter]

The one on the right is much better. I'd use it.

 

As for the Exorcists, I'd simply drop the last sentence ... its not really needed.

 

Due to the extremely high attrition rate associated with the Destroyers' exhaustive combat operations, the chapter has been required to maintain a great number of additional neophytes so that they can quickly and easily replace fallen marines from the battle companies and continue their operations. This has made their Scout Company one of the largest Scout Companies recorded by the Adeptus Administratum.

[Madwolf Shadowmane]

I think this is an outstanding article. I'm somewhat envious as I am in the process of completely re-writing mine. The only thing that concerns me is the practice of sending neophytes to other Chapters. I understand how you intend this to bring the Astartes together, but giving its impressionable youth to another Chapter might not be in the Destroyer's best interest. Might just be me, but I would only send full battle brothers instead of neophytes. That being said I really enjoyed the IA as a whole, a very good read.

[Hrvat]

I am glad that you liked it. I will look into the matter you mention more closely to see if additionaly explanation is needed. I personally wouldn't call last neophytes impressionable, though they are youths. These guys basically don't know anything outside the Chapter. They were picked up very little (beteen ages 3 and 5) and grew up within the chapter, before taking the trails to be allowed to become a neophyte. I see the scout last year tour not just as a way of binding astartes together but also a way of studying how others conduct war so the chapter council may contemplate wether certain ways of other chapter might be superior to their own. Adaptation and evolution is a very important part of the Codex Astartes and the Destroyers maintain that element very strongly.

 

Cheers

 

Hrvat

[voi shet magir]

the idea of the novitiate is that they cannot yet be entirely responsible for themselves, or be entrusted with the chapter's honor. The other Chapters would have to have very close and explicit compacts with the Destroyers to accept some of the responsibility for the Scouts' performance.

 

I do not know what this chapter is about, or where it is going. Actually, I do have a good idea where it is going, because absent any dramatic tension, don't even ask the question. The great extent of their righteousness also breaks the fourth wall, a bit, and feels like authorial projection. They are like Primarch Sakura gone to grad school, in that they have everything set up virtuously and aren't going anywhere.

[PorridgeMeister]

during the feast of the Blooding

It's great, but why have you taken the Blooding from the Rampagers? I suppose it is possible that White Scars successors share such rituals. However, this just seems a little lazy (in a nice way). ;) Linky

 

Why not write a section about the trials of the Destroyers? Like their toughest/ hardest fought battle? That would be quite a good thing to include.

[Hrvat]

the idea of the novitiate is that they cannot yet be entirely responsible for themselves, or be entrusted with the chapter's honor. The other Chapters would have to have very close and explicit compacts with the Destroyers to accept some of the responsibility for the Scouts' performance.

 

I understand what you are saying and will reword it to fit what I have invisioned. I did not intend for individual marines to go but complete squads led by their sergeant (who are veterans if I am not mistaken).

 

 

I do not know what this chapter is about, or where it is going. Actually, I do have a good idea where it is going, because absent any dramatic tension, don't even ask the question. The great extent of their righteousness also breaks the fourth wall, a bit, and feels like authorial projection. They are like Primarch Sakura gone to grad school, in that they have everything set up virtuously and aren't going anywhere.

 

As I am not a native speaker I am not familiar with the metaphor you are using. Though I think I am getting what you are trying to say could you please be more specific.

 

 

 

It's great, but why have you taken the Blooding from the Rampagers? I suppose it is possible that White Scars successors share such rituals. However, this just seems a little lazy (in a nice way). msn-wink.gif Linky

 

Oh I am fully aware that this ritual belongs to the Rampagers since I have lifted it from the 3rd ed. Codex sidebar. I have guessed that it took its name from a passage of the same name in the biography of Jaghatai Khan that speaks how he started his path on becoming the great leader he was, when he destroyed the people which killed his adoptive father and many of his kin. So I guessed that a ritual of a similar meaning would and name would be spread among his descendants.

 

Why not write a section about the trials of the Destroyers? Like their toughest/ hardest fought battle? That would be quite a good thing to include.

 

I am not so sure. I went through many IA and battles usualy just take space but do not tell anything of real importance about the Chapter. I will write more background about these guys but I doubt it will be part of an IA.

 

edit: I went to re-read the text and it is quite umbiguius. I am not sure if it is something that only Rampagers do or is it something that was inherited from the nomads of Chogoris and is that by White Scars as well and maybe others.

 

 

Cheers

 

Hrvat