The Destroyers, the White Scars successor

[Argon]

I find your choice of green armor interesting. When you put it into the context of the White Scars' sucessors, it seems somewhat out of place.

 

 

The Marauders have yellow armor, the Rampagers have red armor, and the Storm Lords have red and white halved armor. Thus, dark green armor would sort of stand out, although it would be a nice counterpoint to the Marauders yellow armor.

 

Just something I thought about.

[Hrvat]

I thought long and hard on what colour(s) to use and went weighted them.

I made a test body with Enchanted Blue(Asurmen wash), Codex Grey(Devlan wash), Blood Red(Baal wash), Orkhide Shade(Thraka wash). All with a golden aquilla.

I started with blue as a way of complementing the White, Red, Yellow, thing going on for the WS and their successors, but the end result was it was just do bright in a cold sense of way.

Next I tried grey to try and get a serious look, but since I will be using some wolf tails, topknots and such stuff they looked like stripped down versions of Space Wolves.

Then came red into focus to try and ephasise the destructive nature of their name. Mostly red model with gold embelishments and white markings looked cool but just didn't cathch the professional soldier theme I was building for them, so I turned to

Green, as the established military colour that is neutral to look at and looks great combined with gold.

Sergeant Nagy WIP

P.S. I need to get better light source <_<

[Shinzaren]

I only noticed two things to raise questions about:

As far as their meetings with all the other chapters every couple decades or so... That seems like a big enough event that I feel like maybe I would have seen something about it before, like with the Dorn's Feast of Blades. Also, you're drawing in a lot First Founding Chapters and doing a lot of name dropping. Not pointing to it as a negative, I just feel like it's drawing attention away from the IA proper. But, I could be wrong, and I often am :) Just something I wanted to ask about.

 

As far as their relations with the AdMech go, you are making them really really tight. Which is fine. But with relations being that rock solid between you(they dedicated a portion of a Forgeworld to you), I would think the other chapters would view you with suspicion, much like the Iron Hands. Perhaps mention that? Otherwise it looks good. Although... Even .01% of a Forgeworld's output is a TON of stuff. Forgeworlds supply whole sectors. .01% means your guys are never, ever, gonna run out of gear, weapons, and other Mechanicus produced goods. I do love your idea of sharing with other chapters, though I think it could be expanded, perhaps in its own sidebar? Perhaps they trade their surplus for Oaths of Brotherhood and assistance?

 

All in all though, good looking IA. I haven't gone and done a word for word critique yet, but I am feeling slightly lazy and apathetic atm... Sorry haha. I definitely like all the ideas you have tied together.

 

:tu:

[Hrvat]

I only noticed two things to raise questions about:

As far as their meetings with all the other chapters every couple decades or so... That seems like a big enough event that I feel like maybe I would have seen something about it before, like with the Dorn's Feast of Blades. Also, you're drawing in a lot First Founding Chapters and doing a lot of name dropping. Not pointing to it as a negative, I just feel like it's drawing attention away from the IA proper. But, I could be wrong, and I often am ^_^ Just something I wanted to ask about.

 

The Feast of Blades was part of the inspiration (as far as I am aware until 5th ed C:SM this did not exist) as well as scenes of friendly bouts and corenspondenties between various Horus Heresy characters. Though I might have writen it to sound to serious, what I had in mind was something more laid back, envisioned to introduce marines with their peers among the stars and make it a fundation for building a true bond that can only be ofrged on a field of battle. I was careful about name dropping because that is a common mistake done in IA. In Origins sections Wolves and Fists are mentioned because people are aware what they did post Heresy and by adding my guys alongside the reader can more easly create a mental picture of proto-Destroyers of that time. In the Astral Brotherhood sidebar I deliberately avoided naming individual Chapters and rather mentioned bloodlines, which is a very vague word if one want's to determine who actually is taking part. In the Geneseed section I have mentions Angels Encarmine, but that sentance will go the way of the Dodo as I post the revised and adjusted article.

 

As far as their relations with the AdMech go, you are making them really really tight. Which is fine. But with relations being that rock solid between you(they dedicated a portion of a Forgeworld to you), I would think the other chapters would view you with suspicion, much like the Iron Hands. Perhaps mention that? Otherwise it looks good. Although... Even .01% of a Forgeworld's output is a TON of stuff. Forgeworlds supply whole sectors. .01% means your guys are never, ever, gonna run out of gear, weapons, and other Mechanicus produced goods. I do love your idea of sharing with other chapters, though I think it could be expanded, perhaps in its own sidebar? Perhaps they trade their surplus for Oaths of Brotherhood and assistance?

From your comment I see that I will have to reword that sidebar to better express what I have in mind. The Chapter doesn't necesary has tight relations with the AM as a whole but with that specific Forge World that if one reads carefully could be interpreted as having heretical teachings by the mainstream AM. Yet due to the Chapter's proactive nature and "going where none has gone before" means they more often than others find techno arcan that they present to the AM. This means AM has reason to provide the backing for the chapter because of the benefits but that doesn't mean they trust the Chapter and mostly view the way Destroyers handle technology as heretical.

 

All in all though, good looking IA. I haven't gone and done a word for word critique yet, but I am feeling slightly lazy and apathetic atm... Sorry haha. I definitely like all the ideas you have tied together.

 

:yes:

If you are planing to do that I would advise waiting till tomorrow afternoon as I will be posting some changes.

 

Thanks for reading.

 

 

Cheers

 

Hrvat

[voi shet magir]

I do not know what this chapter is about, or where it is going. Actually, I do have a good idea where it is going, because absent any dramatic tension, don't even ask the question. The great extent of their righteousness also breaks the fourth wall, a bit, and feels like authorial projection. They are like Primarch Sakura gone to grad school, in that they have everything set up virtuously and aren't going anywhere.

 

As I am not a native speaker I am not familiar with the metaphor you are using. Though I think I am getting what you are trying to say could you please be more specific.

There has been for a few years a lost legion involving a primarch who looks like a pre-adolescent girl and made friends with the eldar, and the orks, and whose legion surgically alter themselves to have animal parts. The expression of "(x concept) gone to college) is that you have a more sophisticated version of a previous concept. Your Destroyers are obviously not outrageously unorthodox like the above mentioned story; actually they are outrageously orthodox. The similarity is that the cat-girl marines live in a hidden paradise with all of their xenos-friends, and their story is not going anywher. There is no reason for them to exist.

 

You have given a great deal of attractive detail to a very generic chapter. I know what a space marine chapter is already. The problem may be with me, that I am biased toward conceptual DIYs, that have one or two things that they harp on.

[Hrvat]

There has been for a few years a lost legion involving a primarch who looks like a pre-adolescent girl and made friends with the eldar, and the orks, and whose legion surgically alter themselves to have animal parts. The expression of "(x concept) gone to college) is that you have a more sophisticated version of a previous concept. Your Destroyers are obviously not outrageously unorthodox like the above mentioned story; actually they are outrageously orthodox. The similarity is that the cat-girl marines live in a hidden paradise with all of their xenos-friends, and their story is not going anywher. There is no reason for them to exist.

You have given a great deal of attractive detail to a very generic chapter. I know what a space marine chapter is already. The problem may be with me, that I am biased toward conceptual DIYs, that have one or two things that they harp on.

Thanks on the explanation.

As I have promised the article has been extensivly edited.

- Origins and Battlecry remain unchanged

- Home World is comepletely new, I finally gathered the courage to try and make a more orthodox home world section, ispired by slavic mythology I am currently reading

- Organisation and Combat doctrine have changed places and were expanded or rewriten to better express what I have in mind

- Beliefs has been expanded and reworded to fit into a slightly different theme

- Geneseed has been expanded.

- All three sidebars have been reworded

Also here is a map to give you a picture where this is taking place, Zemlya is tha blue smudge in the northwest on the very edge of the galaxy

*original map by Ghostlegion and Espada Azul

**the map is so small as I didn't want to use to much bandwith

The article has now reached 5 392 words and is at a risk of getting to big so I am veary of adding any further detail.

C&C are apreciated as ever

Cheers

Hrvat

P.S. now to focus a bit more on painting and modeling