antique_nova Posted November 5, 2010 Share Posted November 5, 2010 So since i am back, i think i should get typing again :) "Attention! Prepare for RS re-entry", the voice of 1st company captain Aniliss echoed through every area of the ship as it prepared to exit the hellish dimension known as the warp. Hands fed bullets into clips, eyes examined arms and armour while minds steeled themselves behind walls of emotions - such was the life of the Ordo Hereticus. "Inquisitor, we are nearing the Atmos system", spoke the dark hooded figure as it handed the inquisitor a data pad, "tell the captain that i require his presence in the briefing chambers." The inquisitor looked to his acolyte as he inspected his weapons and gave the boy a brief smile - the road would be challenging a head and his apprentice would need to stay sharp at all times, lest he fail like his predecessors. Minutes later the captain arrived in the briefing room, a minute later he was dead. The ship suddenly blinked with the colour red and the sound of disdain as men raced from corridor to corridor and room to room, before finally arriving outside the briefing room, where the captain's commander squad and several other marines stood alert, bolters trained at the door. "Ready when you are tech marine Liberus" spoke company champion Kel. "The ships sensors are disabled, but i smell foul deeds at work here, i would suggest vacating the air from this sector and going in with helmets." the techmarines voice was angry, but he could not risk whatever fate that their captain had suffered to affect any more of his brothers. "noted techmarine, but that will take too long. Seal all doors that lead to this room. Now open the door brother." Placing his helmet over his head like the others as he spoke to the techmarine. The doors slid open to reveal a misty fog and a red hooded figure standing at the far end of the table in the middle of the room. The silence and foul air within the room was filled with the roar of marines as they charged into the room to restrain the figure for interrogation, but when they reached the figure it dropped to the ground and so did the object in its skeleton hands. The object, the sphere, it fell, it fell and it smash into the floor. The glass broke and its contents screamed as it opened a portal and out came the nightmares of the dark dimension - the warp. A chapter will be up within a week, but for now you will have to wait for the story that will blow your mind ;). thanks antique_nova Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/214547-the-lines-of-grey/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted November 5, 2010 Share Posted November 5, 2010 Handed, should be hand also it should be Servitor not droid, the latter is from Star Wars :) Minutes later the captain arrived in the briefing room, a minute later, he was dead. To me doesn't read that well, how about; Moments after entering the briefing room, the Captain was dead. Also small preview so cannot really expect any one to get excited or interested as it is just the smallest of glimpses, perhaps beef it up a bit more? Welcome back. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/214547-the-lines-of-grey/#findComment-2554399 Share on other sites More sharing options...
antique_nova Posted November 5, 2010 Author Share Posted November 5, 2010 Aaaa the mistakes, the good old times. I don't have the energy at the minute. Maybe another day :) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/214547-the-lines-of-grey/#findComment-2554404 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosjetka Posted December 11, 2010 Share Posted December 11, 2010 Not bad, what's up next ;) Oh, and welcome back. ^_^ Ludovic Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/214547-the-lines-of-grey/#findComment-2586867 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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