IA: Iron Flames

[Chapter Master Ignis Domus]

http://img5.imageshack.us/img5/1347/smf2r.jpg[/img]

<div style="background-color:#990000]Origins

7th Founding- 700.M32

L

ate in the 32nd millennium, the High Lords of Terra declared that a new founding occur. The Imperium was just starting to recover from the Horus Heresy, and so they desperately needed a larger marine presence to protect humanity from the foul xenos. The Iron Hand’s geneseed was chosen by the adepts of Mars to form a new chapter. The Iron Hands sent a training cadre led by Iron-Father? Helmus Dorthiin. The cadre, along with the newest marines of the chapter, set out to find a homeworld. During their search, they were attacked by the dark kin of the Eldar. They suffered heavy losses, including Iron-Father? Dorthiin and all but one of the librarians from the training cadre. This lack of librarians still continues today. Fortunately for the fledgling chapter, a fleet of Hawk Lords came out of the Warp due to a minor problem with the Gellar Field. These added reinforcements quickly turned the tide, though many of the Iron Flames’ ships were damaged beyond repair. The Hawk Lords guided them to a nearby planet, where the Iron Flames crash-landed much of their fleet. To this day, the Iron Flames have had a reduced fleet.

The Iron Flames’ ties with the Adeptus Mechanicus are excellent, though not as good as their parent chapter, the Iron Hands. They do not, however, share the same view of the weakness of flesh that the Iron Hands have. The Adeptus Mechanicus aided them in building a fortress-monastery out of the remains of their ships.

Homeworld

http://th00.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2010/233/9/e/Fire_Planet_3_by_DennisH2010.png

W

hen the ships crash-landed, the Chapter Master spent much time considering whether they should settle on the planet or risk continuing on to find a more suitable planet. He decided to stay and recruit from the strong but small native population. Ferrigot is a little-known and relatively small world in Segmentum Obscura. Despite the constant volcanic activity, a small group of people have managed to survive on a plateau that doesn’t see as many eruptions as the rest of the planet. It is from this village that the Iron Flames recruit from. Part of the reason the there is volcanic activity in massive proportions on the planet is that the sun is too close to the planet. the other is that it was recently, as in less than a million years ago, struck by a very large meteor. To add to the inhabitants’ problems, the ships crash-landing caused a large pressure disturbance, although the increase in eruptions has lessened over the millennia. The people of Ferrigot view the Space Marines as the demons of fire who take the strongest of them and teach them the secrets of the volcanoes. This belief is only enhanced by their glowing red helmet lenses and their seeming immunity to heat and lava granted to them by their armor. When the Flames finished the crafting of the fortress-monastery, the Chapter Master locked himself in the forges for over a month. When he finally came out, he had with him one of the finest axes and one of the most beautiful bolters ever seen.

Due to the excellent metals capable of being extracted from the lava, the Iron Flames are capable of making excellent equipment. The Techmarines and artificers practice for years before starting to smith the most basic weapon. Also, due to the heat of their homeworld, they instinctively know how to bend and twist fire to do what they want in the same way as some of the master arsonists of the hive worlds. They are also very agile, more so than the average marine, due to the need to get around lava flows. They are, however, very hot-headed, and wil, often fall for lures that their more calm and patient brothers would easily notice. The indigenous population prefers the axe, and that preference has carried over to the Iron Flames. The Ferrigotians are also, by necessity, a hard, callous folk, and so too are the Iron Flames.

The fortress monastery is a large construction, formed of the crashed ships. These ships crashed into the side of a large volcano, and so the fortress has been extended to inside there. At the heart of the volcanoes lay the vaults of the Iron Flames, which hold their most sacred relics. The Iron Flames are also great scholars, and they have large stores of knowledge carefully kept safe from the heat of the world. Their armor frequently incorporates book icons. The armory has direct connection to the magma channel, and whenever the volcano erupts, the artificers will harvest the magma and separate it into different metals.

Combat Doctrine

\

T

he Iron Flames are masters of the mobile defense. They will set up a a defensive position and garrison it with devastator and tactical squads. They will then keep the rest of their forces in reserve until needed. The defensive squads will then hold the line and draw in the enemy, preferably to a chokepoint. When the moment is right, they will counterattack with the reserves and crush the enemy between the two forces. The residents of Ferrigot often use this tactic when hunting the elusive drayhdek, a local animal. The villagers brought the tactic with them when they were recruited into the chapter, and it has grown in popularity over the millennia. This strategy was used on a massive scale against the orks at the Battle of Werhix IX in 165.M35 which was a massive was deployed in defense of the capital, along with twelve of the tactical squads from the sixth, third and fifth. The remaining marines, along with elements of the eighth and first companies was placed in reserve. The ork horde, carefully lured in by scout squads, charged against the walls. Tens of hundreds died to the heavy bolters and frag missiles of the marines, but it was not enough. As the ork horde drew in closer to the city, almost reaching the walls, the Iron Flames struck. Drop Pods rained in from the sky as terminators of the first company teleported in. Bike squads roared in from the caves of the canyon, and thunderhawks flew overhead, dropping assault squads off the back ramp. At that point, with the orks trapped in the canyon and 400 marines pressing in on both sides, the orks were quickly annihilated. This battle also saw the increased use of whirlwinds, for when the enemy was trapped and packed together tightly like that, the missiles could be put to devastating effect.

Organisation

T

he Iron Flames are a mainly Codex-adherent chapter, with a few exceptions. Firstly, they have a large number of Sternguard veteran squads in the first company, due to a recent loss of a great portion of the chapter’s terminator armor aboard the Battle Barge “Torrens Rabies” at the battle of Mornir’s Point. Also, the honor guard are grouped into one separate unit of marines that always travels with the chapter master. The unit is called the Iron Guard, and has won many commendations with their mighty blades. They have very few ships, and as such, have enlarged their remaining ships to hold a slightly greater complement of marines. As such, one of the battle companies and two of the reserve companies never fight as one force, but instead are spread among the ships of the other companies. They have a smaller than average scout company, due to the increased time spent in pre-combat training and the lesser number of recruits from their world. They favor the Vindicator, Whirlwind, and Redeemer. Because of this, they have a larger amount of these than the Codex’s amount. This comes at the cost of other types of tanks, so Land Raiders and Predators are much rarer than is normal. All of the reserve companies, even the ninth, have training for bikes and land speeders and are often deployed with these units. Other than these things, the Iron Flames follow the Codex organization.

[Octavulg]

What about the Chapter itself? What are they like?

[Chapter Master Ignis Domus]

That will be addressed as soon as I can do so(sometime later today).

[Chapter Master Ignis Domus]

I've completed the homeworld section now. Feel free to criticize. Pull no punches.

[Ace Debonair]

I've completed the homeworld section now. Feel free to criticize. Pull no punches.

I think we can do that. :)

 

After sending Chaos back, the Iron Flames set out to find a homeworld. During this search, they were attacked by the vicious cousins of the Eldar.

Who are they, then? :P

 

They were rescued by a Hawk Lords patrol, who guided their ships to a nearby system. There, many of their ships were forced to crash-land on the planet. Unfortunately, much of the Iron Hands veteran cadre was wiped out in the fighting, including the librarians.

Wait, what fighting? Or do you mean the fighting that they've just got away from?

At first glance I thought you meant they scrapped with the Hawk Lords.

 

Part of the reason there is volcanic activity on the planet is that it is a bit to close to it's sun for comfort. The other is that it was recently(meaning within less than a million years) struck by a very large meteor. Unfortunately for the inhabitants, the ships crash landing didn't help, although the increase in eruptions has slowed over the millennia.

A shade informal for an IA, that line.

 

The people of Ferrigot view the space marines as the fire demons who will take the strongest of them and teach them the ways of the volcanoes. When the first Chapter Master made contact with them, he was given an ancient axe that burned with the red hot intensity of a thousand suns and a bolter that shot bolts that would literally burn apart the target from the inside. Ever since, the Cgapter Masters have carried those relics into battle. It is unknown where the Ferrigotians got them from, but their myths tell of a massive stranger with burning red eyes and skin as black as ash and as tough as the oldest rock and who could walk into the mightiest volcano with no harm. He came from the sky to fight the evil old ones. For three days, he did battle with them and though they were as agile as the quickest mahdet, a local reptilian avian, he emote them one by one. He finally dueled their leader, and killed it only through the sacrifice of his life.

Doesn't that seem well, unlikely? The guy kills whatever it is and leaves his weapons there?

Also, your marines would be silly if they didn't presume chaos taint on these suspiciously convenient weapons. :)

 

Due to the excellent metals capable of being taken from the lava, the Iron Flames are skilled artificers. Also, because of tue heat of their homeworld, they instinctively know how to make fire do what they want.

I don't follow. Fire either warms things up or burns them, pretty much. What else would they want it to do?

 

It's not bad, but there just happening to be two powerful weapons on this primitive volcano planet that you're recruiting from seems a tad convenient. :P

[NightrawenII]

Origins

14th Founding- 005.M34

 

In the beginning of the 35th millennium, the forces of Chaos launched the 4th Black Crusade. The High Lords of Terra declared that a new founding be completed with all possible haste. The Iron Flames were part of the counterattack on El'Phanor. As shown by the records, the counterattack succeeded and Chaos was repelled from the border.

Hmmmm, from the description, it doesn't look like the crusade lasted for several years.

2nd, even if the Founding was announced in 005.M34 it takes 55 years to create enough gene-seed to create a Chapter. So your Chapter will be ready a half of century after assault on El'Phanor.

 

BTW, the M34 means 34th millenium, ie. year 33.XXX. :D

 

After sending Chaos back, the Iron Flames set out to find a homeworld. During this search, they were attacked by the vicious cousins of the Eldar. They were rescued by a Hawk Lords patrol, who guided their ships to a nearby system. There, many of their ships were forced to crash-land on the planet.

If the entire Chapter was unable to beat the Dark Eldar, I don't think a single patrol make any difference.

(For simple reason, the patrols use Escort ships.)

 

Unfortunately, much of the Iron Hands veteran cadre was wiped out in the fighting, including the librarians. This has led to a small quantity of librarians being present within the chapter and a major divergence from the Iron Hands organization.

You should tell us about the gene-seed and training cadre before using them in the writing.

 

After much thought, the Chapter Master chose the planet, Ferrigot, to be their homeworld, forming the Fortress-Monastery out of the remains of their ships. To this day, the Iron Flames have had a reduced fleet presence.

Well, they were stuck here in the first place, so IMO any deep thinking was unnecessary.

 

It is unknown where the Ferrigotians got them from, but their myths tell of a massive stranger with burning red eyes and skin as black as ash and as tough as the oldest rock and who could walk into the mightiest volcano with no harm. He came from the sky to fight the evil old ones. For three days, he did battle with them and though they were as agile as the quickest mahdet, a local reptilian avian, he emote them one by one. He finally dueled their leader, and killed it only through the sacrifice of his life.

Hmm, so Vulkan is dead, sad news for our Salamader brothers. ;)

[Chapter Master Ignis Domus]

I've completed the homeworld section now. Feel free to criticize. Pull no punches.

I think we can do that. <_<

 

After sending Chaos back, the Iron Flames set out to find a homeworld. During this search, they were attacked by the vicious cousins of the Eldar.

Who are they, then? <_<

 

The dark eldar. I'll make it more clear.

 

They were rescued by a Hawk Lords patrol, who guided their ships to a nearby system. There, many of their ships were forced to crash-land on the planet. Unfortunately, much of the Iron Hands veteran cadre was wiped out in the fighting, including the librarians.

Wait, what fighting? Or do you mean the fighting that they've just got away from?

At first glance I thought you meant they scrapped with the Hawk Lords.

 

I'll move it to a better point.

Part of the reason there is volcanic activity on the planet is that it is a bit to close to it's sun for comfort. The other is that it was recently(meaning within less than a million years) struck by a very large meteor. Unfortunately for the inhabitants, the ships crash landing didn't help, although the increase in eruptions has slowed over the millennia.

A shade informal for an IA, that line.

 

Sorry, could you explain.

[Ace Debonair]

Part of the reason there is volcanic activity on the planet is that it is a bit to close to it's sun for comfort. The other is that it was recently(meaning within less than a million years) struck by a very large meteor. Unfortunately for the inhabitants, the ships crash landing didn't help, although the increase in eruptions has slowed over the millennia.

A shade informal for an IA, that line.

 

Sorry, could you explain.

Certainly. :)

 

Think of all the IAs in the Librarium. They're presented as formal documents, and the language contained in them is generally formal statements. The bolded statement above reads more like the people of your planet saw the funny side of the disaster, and it consequently turns the ships crashing into a planet into something of a comical moment.

 

Something like "Volcanic activity on the planet increased even further when a large meteor impacted with the planet within the last million years; and the crashing of the Chapter's ships into the planet only served to sustain the near-perpetual inferno" or words to that effect might be better suited to the tone of an IA.

 

I know, it's a minor issue really, but you did ask not to pull punches. ;)

[Chapter Master Ignis Domus]

Alright, I'm still alive. I haven't run off in tears or somesuch silly thing. I just drove out to my parent's house over Thanksgiving and they lack Wi-Fi. I have a lot more of the IA typed up, including your suggestions, but am a bit too tired to actually get it off the USB, on the computer, and edit it. Watch this space for the IA Part Two.

[Chapter Master Ignis Domus]

I've edited the first post with the updated IA.

[Chapter Master Ignis Domus]

Anything? Perhaps it's perfect... B)

[NightrawenII]

Origins

Late in the 32nd millennium, the High Lords of Terra declared that a new founding occur. The Imperium was just starting to recover from the Horus Heresy, and so they desperately needed a larger marine presence to protect humanity from the foul xenos.

- Well, technically the 700.M32 is 1k years after HH and The Scouring and it's already in The Forging, which is considered to be the Golden Age of Imperium.

 

The Iron Hand’s geneseed was chosen by the adepts of Mars to form a new chapter, the Iron Flames.

- Ok, this bothers me for some a while, so I will ask: How do the marines of your Chapter call themself?

 

This lack of librarians still continues today.

- What is "today", though? 8.000 years is a long time. ;)

 

Fortunately for the fledgling chapter, a fleet of Hawk Lords came out of the Warp due to a minor problem with the warp containment field.

- Gellar field.

 

To this day, the Iron Flames have had a reduced fleet.

- Once again, What is "today"?

 

About 150 years later, the forces of Chaos launched the third of their dreaded Black Crusades. The Iron Flames sent almost half of their chapter to aid the Imperium in the defense of Cadia? They returned with a new laurel to add to their chapter banner.

- Is there something important in regard to your Chapter? If not, then it's pointless.

 

Homeworld

He decided to stay on Ferrigot and recruit from the strong but small native population. Ferrigot is a highly volcanic world in Segmentum Obscura. Despite the constant volcanic activity, a small group of people have managed to survive on a plateau that doesn’t see as many eruptions as the rest of the planet.

- This needs re-wording. It's somewhat repetitive.

 

This belief is only enhanced by their glowing red eyes

- They are the Iron Hands gene-seed.

 

Due to the excellent metals capable of being extracted from the lava, the Iron Flames are capable of making excellent equipment. The Techmarines and artificers practice for years before starting to smith the most basic weapon. Also, due to the heat of their homeworld, they instinctively know how to bend and twist fire to do what they want in the same way as some of the master arsonists of the hive worlds. They are also very agile, more so than the average marine, due to the need to get around lava flows. They are, however, very hot-headed, and wil, often fall for lures that their more calm and patient brothers would easily notice. The indigenous population prefers the axe, and that preference has carried over to the Iron Flames. The Ferrigotians are also, by necessity, a hard, callous folk, and so too are the Iron Flames.

- This belongs to other sections.

 

hmmmm... Where is the rest of IA? :huh:

 

Anything? Perhaps it's perfect... :D

Far from it, puny humanling. Your struggle is hopeless and futile....Ho-ho-ho! :P

 

In all fairness, your method of writing is somewhat choppy and fragmentary. You like to jump from idea to idea, without proper attention or explanation.

[Chapter Master Ignis Domus]

The Iron Hand’s geneseed was chosen by the adepts of Mars to form a new chapter, the Iron Flames.

- Ok, this bothers me for some a while, so I will ask: How do the marines of your Chapter call themself?

 

Good point, I'll take that out.

 

This lack of librarians still continues today.

- What is "today", though? 8.000 years is a long time. ;)

 

Today is around 006.M43. I figure that with very few people to train them, librarians won't be replaced easily.

 

Fortunately for the fledgling chapter, a fleet of Hawk Lords came out of the Warp due to a minor problem with the warp containment field.

- Gellar field.

 

Ah. Thank you.

 

To this day, the Iron Flames have had a reduced fleet.

- Once again, What is "today"?

 

See above.

 

About 150 years later, the forces of Chaos launched the third of their dreaded Black Crusades. The Iron Flames sent almost half of their chapter to aid the Imperium in the defense of Cadia? They returned with a new laurel to add to their chapter banner.

- Is there something important in regard to your Chapter? If not, then it's pointless.

 

Now that I am not half-dead and baggy-eyed, it does look needless.

 

He decided to stay on Ferrigot and recruit from the strong but small native population. Ferrigot is a highly volcanic world in Segmentum Obscura. Despite the constant volcanic activity, a small group of people have managed to survive on a plateau that doesn’t see as many eruptions as the rest of the planet.

- This needs re-wording. It's somewhat repetitive.

 

Good point.

 

This belief is only enhanced by their glowing red eyes

- They are the Iron Hands gene-seed.

 

I'm talking about the helmet lenses. I'll change that so that it's clearer.

 

Due to the excellent metals capable of being extracted from the lava, the Iron Flames are capable of making excellent equipment. The Techmarines and artificers practice for years before starting to smith the most basic weapon. Also, due to the heat of their homeworld, they instinctively know how to bend and twist fire to do what they want in the same way as some of the master arsonists of the hive worlds. They are also very agile, more so than the average marine, due to the need to get around lava flows. They are, however, very hot-headed, and wil, often fall for lures that their more calm and patient brothers would easily notice. The indigenous population prefers the axe, and that preference has carried over to the Iron Flames. The Ferrigotians are also, by necessity, a hard, callous folk, and so too are the Iron Flames.

- This belongs to other sections.

 

Where?

 

hmmmm... Where is the rest of IA? :D

 

Coming. It's still in the creation and editing stage.

 

In all fairness, your method of writing is somewhat choppy and fragmentary. You like to jump from idea to idea, without proper attention or explanation.

 

I do tend to do that. Talking to me can be a nightmare. I'll have to work with that.

 

 

Thanks for the critique.

[Chapter Master Ignis Domus]

Added organization and remembered that I forgot the color scheme. Oops. Criticism is, as always, welcome.

[NightrawenII]

Seems good.

 

Firstly, they have a large number of Sternguard veteran squads in the first company, due to a recent loss of a great portion of the chapter’s terminator armor aboard the Battle Barge “Torrens Rabies” at the battle of Mornir’s Point.

At first, I read "Torrens Rabbits". :P

[Chapter Master Ignis Domus]

Oh. I see Latin does not always work. I'll thnk up another phrase to randomly translate into Patin. Maybe fluffy bunny or ugly monkey...

[WingsOfTheFalcon]

Interesting read, one bit that stuck out is that they have close ties with the Mechanicum and Iron Hands but no interest in weakness of the flesh. I think you need to expand on that and explain why they don't, perhaps even what they believe instead.

[Chapter Master Ignis Domus]

Good advice, I should have thought of that. I'm thinking that because the natives see metal melted so easily, they don't think of metal as any stronger than flesh, a grown in belief that continues to marines.

[Captain Juan Juarez]

So, we meet again... *strokes white cat*

 

Excellent.

 

The Imperium was just starting to recover from the Horus Heresy, and so they desperately needed a larger marine presence to protect humanity from the foul xenos.

 

- This doesn't ring true to me; the Imperium never really recovered to any degree.

 

The Iron Hand’s geneseed was chosen by the adepts of Mars to form a new chapter. The Iron Hands sent a training cadre led by Iron-Father? Helmus Dorthiin.

 

- Can combine the two sentences to read more smoothly.

 

The cadre, along with the newest marines of the chapter, set out to find a homeworld. During their search, they were attacked by the dark kin of the Eldar. They suffered heavy losses, including Iron-Father? Dorthiin and all but one of the librarians from the training cadre. This lack of librarians still continues today. Fortunately for the fledgling chapter, a fleet of Hawk Lords came out of the Warp due to a minor problem with the Gellar Field. These added reinforcements quickly turned the tide, though many of the Iron Flames’ ships were damaged beyond repair. The Hawk Lords guided them to a nearby planet, where the Iron Flames crash-landed much of their fleet. To this day, the Iron Flames have had a reduced fleet.

 

- This all reads in a very monotone, boring, way... Also with a sense of coincidence.

 

The Iron Flames’ ties with the Adeptus Mechanicus are excellent, though not as good as their parent chapter, the Iron Hands. They do not, however, share the same view of the weakness of flesh that the Iron Hands have.

 

- Why? Or is this explained later?

 

When the ships crash-landed, the Chapter Master spent much time considering whether they should settle on the planet or risk continuing on to find a more suitable planet. He decided to stay and recruit from the strong but small native population.

 

- There is actually at least one instance in fluff of a ship being landed on a planet to form the basis of a Fortress-Monastery.

 

It is from this village that the Iron Flames recruit from.

 

- A very aribtrary, short, sentence for something potentially so important.

 

When the Flames finished the crafting of the fortress-monastery, the Chapter Master locked himself in the forges for over a month. When he finally came out, he had with him one of the finest axes and one of the most beautiful bolters ever seen.

 

- So?

 

Also, due to the heat of their homeworld, they instinctively know how to bend and twist fire to do what they want in the same way as some of the master arsonists of the hive worlds. They are also very agile, more so than the average marine, due to the need to get around lava flows.

 

- And lo', did CJJ say wha'?

Why this assumption that hive worlds breed arsonists? Also, you can only be so agile in a ton of ceramite.

Last thing; they are impervious to fire and heat, but need to get around lava flows... Strange.

 

The Iron Flames are masters of the mobile defense. They will set up a a defensive position and garrison it with devastator and tactical squads. They will then keep the rest of their forces in reserve until needed. The defensive squads will then hold the line and draw in the enemy, preferably to a chokepoint. When the moment is right, they will counterattack with the reserves and crush the enemy between the two forces. The residents of Ferrigot often use this tactic when hunting the elusive drayhdek, a local animal. The villagers brought the tactic with them when they were recruited into the chapter, and it has grown in popularity over the millennia. This strategy was used on a massive scale against the orks at the Battle of Werhix IX in 165.M35 which was a massive was deployed in defense of the capital, along with twelve of the tactical squads from the sixth, third and fifth. The remaining marines, along with elements of the eighth and first companies was placed in reserve. The ork horde, carefully lured in by scout squads, charged against the walls. Tens of hundreds died to the heavy bolters and frag missiles of the marines, but it was not enough. As the ork horde drew in closer to the city, almost reaching the walls, the Iron Flames struck. Drop Pods rained in from the sky as terminators of the first company teleported in. Bike squads roared in from the caves of the canyon, and thunderhawks flew overhead, dropping assault squads off the back ramp. At that point, with the orks trapped in the canyon and 400 marines pressing in on both sides, the orks were quickly annihilated. This battle also saw the increased use of whirlwinds, for when the enemy was trapped and packed together tightly like that, the missiles could be put to devastating effect.

 

- Read this aloud to yourself.

 

Firstly, they have a large number of Sternguard veteran squads in the first company

 

- Although there is a ratio of Stern/Van/Termies, almost certainly the entire First Company could deply as Sternguard when not in TDA.

 

They favor the Vindicator, Whirlwind, and Redeemer. Because of this, they have a larger amount of these than the Codex’s amount.

 

- Why? Also, I don't think the Codex specifies "Thou shalt have only three Vindicators..."

 

Obviously there are some capitalization errors; First Company is one in a couple of places, but overall it's a good start and seems quite coherent.

[Octavulg]

Late in the 32nd millennium, the High Lords of Terra declared that a new founding occur. The Imperium was just starting to recover from the Horus Heresy, and so they desperately needed a larger marine presence to protect humanity from the foul xenos. The Iron Hand’s geneseed was chosen by the adepts of Mars to form a new chapter. The Iron Hands sent a training cadre led by Iron-Father? Helmus Dorthiin. The cadre, along with the newest marines of the chapter, set out to find a homeworld. During their search, they were attacked by the dark kin of the Eldar. They suffered heavy losses, including Iron-Father? Dorthiin and all but one of the librarians from the training cadre. This lack of librarians still continues today. Fortunately for the fledgling chapter, a fleet of Hawk Lords came out of the Warp due to a minor problem with the Gellar Field. These added reinforcements quickly turned the tide, though many of the Iron Flames’ ships were damaged beyond repair. The Hawk Lords guided them to a nearby planet, where the Iron Flames crash-landed much of their fleet. To this day, the Iron Flames have had a reduced fleet.

 

It's kind of blah. Cut the extraneous details - should help a bit.

 

Reduced: 76% of original size [ 894 x 894 ] - Click to view full image

 

You know, if you reduced the image to 75% of its current size, you could avoid this.

 

When the ships crash-landed, the Chapter Master spent much time considering whether they should settle on the planet or risk continuing on to find a more suitable planet. He decided to stay and recruit from the strong but small native population. Ferrigot is a little-known and relatively small world in Segmentum Obscura. Despite the constant volcanic activity, a small group of people have managed to survive on a plateau that doesn’t see as many eruptions as the rest of the planet. It is from this village that the Iron Flames recruit from. Part of the reason the there is volcanic activity in massive proportions on the planet is that the sun is too close to the planet. the other is that it was recently, as in less than a million years ago, struck by a very large meteor. To add to the inhabitants’ problems, the ships crash-landing caused a large pressure disturbance, although the increase in eruptions has lessened over the millennia. The people of Ferrigot view the Space Marines as the demons of fire who take the strongest of them and teach them the secrets of the volcanoes. This belief is only enhanced by their glowing red helmet lenses and their seeming immunity to heat and lava granted to them by their armor. When the Flames finished the crafting of the fortress-monastery, the Chapter Master locked himself in the forges for over a month. When he finally came out, he had with him one of the finest axes and one of the most beautiful bolters ever seen.

 

One village? Are you crazy?

 

The success rate for Space Marine recruits can rage down into the single-digit of percentage points. You need a lot more than ONE village.

 

* * *

 

What are you trying to do with this IA? I'm really not getting their personality at the moment.

[Chapter Master Ignis Domus]

Curses, I've been spotted. This isn't ready for criticism, I've just been storing it here as 1) a backup, and 2) to see the formatting. Those are things that I've noticed, though.

[Octavulg]

It was the way you posted a link to it. I've been taking the past few days to... reassert my dominance remind you all why I get away with writing guides provide honest and sincere help to people.

 

I did the first three or four pages, then I did the people the Stone Hearts will be fighting alongside. The Bronze Prophets' co-chapters are next.

 

I'd recommend coming up with something. Group projects attract help and attention. :lol:

[Octavulg]

*Poke poke*

 

Seriously, dude. :unsure: What are you trying to do here?

[Chapter Master Ignis Domus]

Shhh, Octy, shhhhh. Don't attract attention.

 

In the next of my monthly updates, I intend to put up a much longer than the rest of the IA Beliefs section, focussing on their personality:

 

Pragmatism, utilitarian, logical. The overall war comes before anything. Be quick-thinking and act with speed, but be logical and intelligent in your decision-making. Ensure that the Imperium survives, even at the cost your life. Leave compassion out of your thoughts, unless it is totally separate from your choices. The chain of command is to be upheld at all times.

 

And no, that's not from the campaign at all. <_<

[Omega Striker]

A bit thin, eh, brother?

 

Well, you are heading in the right direction, and Octy will keep the sticks of poke poking, so I will just sit back and watch.

 

If you are looking for the soul of the chapter, that comes out in the combat doctrine and beliefs sections, so I will wait till then to criticize lack of SOUL POWER.

 

Cheers, mate, and hope this turns out well.