The Astral Swords

[.Torch.]

Well, after pondering an army list for this army I got a bit side tracked and ended up writing them a little history. So here it is, the founding of my Astral swords chapter, so far....

 

 

Founding

The Astral swords were founded in 738.M41 under the watchful eye of Chapter Master Orpheus. Descending directly from the Ultramarines gene seed. The process of chapter creation can take decades or centuries, and so initially the Astral swords found themselves with a mere three companies of Battle brothers. They were immediately dispatched to the Shylox VI system and took up the planet of Astros as their home world. Astros was a beautiful planet that held democracy and morals above any wealth. The eco-system flourished like those detailed in the lost history of Terra and the Astral swords had little to bother them in the Shylox VI system.

Astros once held a sizeable fortress on its only orbiting moon, and the Astral swords rebuilt and refurbished it to the highest standards. Christened ‘Luna’, the fortress was seconded only by the great monastery that stood atop the northern pole of Astros, boosting the Guilliman’s fist defence system which consisted of three orbital lasers. Luna held a wide signalling becon that allowed it to communicate with a range of nearby systems, which boosted the economy of the already booming Astros.

 

Astros Aflame

For the first years all was peaceful and the skies remained silent. Master Orpheus oversaw the standard training procedures and the chapter appeared to be prosperous. However, it was not long before a dark cloud began to overshadow Astros, for the Shylox system was poorly placed between Armageddon and a looming swarm of raging green skins.

Now counting their numbers at around four active battle companies, the Astral swords were called into a support role on Armageddon, as another invasion was already beginning to grow in the far reaches of the galaxy. Blessed only with a fleet of three strike cruisers, the Astral swords did not count themselves amongst the most revered forces in the galaxy. But the Battle brothers knew their duty well and mobilisation began the next day. On the second day of mobilisation as the first company was preparing to board the strike cruiser Lunius, the Orks struck.

Master Orpheus, in full battle dress sat at the helm of the lead Thunderhawk as the first company approached Lunius. He had always preferred to fly his own craft, and always refused any other form of transport but his own. The second company had already boarded the Lunius and were making further preparations for battle. It was seconds from then that disaster would strike. Shielded by the shadow of Lunius a Ork Rok sped out of the darkness, its warp drives flaring angrily as it spun into the system. Clearly at the helm was a madman for the craft collided with the side of Lunius and tore it fully in half. The Rok itself detonated its warp drives and imploded in on itself, drawing with it any chance of rescue of its crew. Master Orpheus watched in horror as his second company was dragged screaming into the warp; his emergency procedures barely sparing the first company. As the carnage subsided the first company watched helplessly as two more Roks emerged from warp space into the system. Acting quickly Orpheus dispatched the forth company, who had already barded the strike cruiser Calgar under Chaplain Ulixus to engage the incoming tide. Knowing that he could only buy a small amount time Chaplain Ulixus deployed half of the forth company to the surface of Astros in drop pods to bolster the planets defences. Master Orpheus himself foresaw that the forth company would be lost and offered a silent prayer to them as their cruiser turned to engage. Orpheus himself returned to the surface of Astros to brace for the initial planet fall.

 

The Green Tide

Meanwhile Captain Tiberius Orad of the Third stood watchfully on Luna; the great fortress was a gleaming gem atop the unnamed moon of Astros. It was just as the third company were about to begin boarding preparations when Orad heard of the catastrophe. Orad knew that he could not assist in the defences of Astros’ surface, for if the Orks were to gain control of the Guilliman’s fist defence laser on Luna all would be lost. Unfortunately the preparatory work for firing such a system could take days, and time was not on the Astral swords side.

As Orad watched the Calgar engage the second of the Roks his eyes narrowed, the third and final Rok spewed forth a giant horde of green on to the planet below. As more and moiré Roks began to appear out of the darkness Orad swept done from his watch place and began to mobilise the Third.

The first green skins touched down only minutes later. Fortunately the recklessness of the assault meant many green skins fell prey to anti-aircraft fire laid down by the Battle brothers. The Orks initially led only small charges against Luna, but Orad knew that it was not long before a larger wave would surge from the darker side of the moon. Dispatching his devastator squads to the southern and northern towers, Orad knew that they would be essential in targeting anything that entered the Luna compound. Tide after tide struck against the walls of Luna and weapons began to quickly overheat. Meanwhile, in the depths below the fortress Brother Kanth (the only tech marine that the Third possessed) worked furiously at the mechanisms of Guilliman’s fist. The system required tens of men to configure, but the compound needed every soul to defend it. Back up above on the ground outside Luna average men brushed shoulders with battle brothers as each soul ignited in the heat of battle.

The Final Sacrifice

It was dawn the next day when Kanth managed to send word to Orad of the systems availability. Orad himself was knee deep in green corpses as the inner compound was breached only minutes beforehand. Acting quickly he ordered the lasers directed at all Roks that still showed signs of life. The sky was alight wit flame, each ship burning like a new born star in space. The Calgar stood defiantly amongst the wreckage, its broadsides ruined and its helm almost destroyed, but alive it was. Down below, the orks never placed a foot inside the northern monastery, but the world outside lay burned and torched. No life now grew on Astros, for only the space marines stood standing. What happened on the planet’s surface is of much debate. Many accuse Orpheus of setting the planet aflame in desperation, caring not for the lives of none battle brothers. What is known however is that the Space marines had their already limited numbers sacrificed. Only Orpheus and a handful of the first company survived.

Up in the space above, the Calgar turned to dock at the moon base of Luna. Upon turning to port the Calgar began to make indefinable broadcasts the Luna to the surface below. Orad presumed that the ship had been taken by the Orks and primed the defence lasers for firing. It was only when Master Orpheus intervened that Orad halted the lasers. Believing there to be a last squad of the Forth holding out in the engine rooms of the Calgar, Orpheus led the remainder of the First in a daring raid on the ship from the surface of Astros. It was as the brave brothers (only totalling twenty souls) reached the ship that they realised the extent of the Orks raid. The Calgars remaining drop pods were deployed to the surface moon, each of them crammed to the brim with ravenous Orks. Orad knew that he could do nothing o assist his Chapter master, and began to brace for the incoming tide.

 

Rage of Ulixus

As the green skins assailed the walls of Luna on the moon’s surface, Master Orpheus prepared for the breaching of the Calgar. The breach was quick and precise, but the brothers soon found themselves vastly outnumbered. The fighting lasted for hours as the last of the first company waded deeper into the hull of the ship. Eventually Orpheus found himself alone. Heavily wounded the chapter master, fought his way tooth and nail through the smallest corridors of the ship. When his bolter jammed he wrenched a looted heavy flamer from the dying grasp of an Ork Nob. Bodies piled themselves in great numbers, sometimes making the chapter masters path impossible to continue. After another hour of brutal close engagement, Orpheus found the rear hangar. Inside bodies were piled ten feet high and Thunderhawks lay tossed aside like toys. In the middle of the hangar a top a mountain of green skins and surrounded by his fallen brothers Chaplain Ulixus sill clung to life, dealing swift death to all who approached him. His unholy strength saw him wielding a heavy bolter one-handed whilst screaming litanies of hate at the Orks who climbed towards him. He acknowledged the arrival of his chapter master, and the two of them fought back to back against a horde of every growing Orks.

As minutes turned to hours the tide began to thin. It was then that the strike deck below finely became accessible. With no way of communicating outside the ship the two warriors began to approach the last drop pods. It was then that they were interrupted by a deafening roar which echoed the entire hangar. A war boss the size of a dreadnought charged from opposite end of the hangar. Master Orpheus although injured, was the first to meet blades with the beast. Wounds already having cut him deep from hours of fighting Orpheus was little match for the hulk of the beast and was quickly tossed aside. Acting quickly, Ulixus threw the unconscious body of his master into a nearby drop pod before slamming the manual release. Ulixus watched the pod descend to the surface of Astros before turning to face the war boss. The giant green skin had defeated the chapter master, but it was in no way in a combat condition. The beast hurled white flame from its combi-weapon as the Chaplain walked slowly towards him. Ork reinforcements began to swarm the hangar once again and Ulixus knew he must act fast. With his body aflame, the chaplain stood as a burning effigy of the Emperor himself, summoning all his courage he charged the war boss in front of him.

The giant green skin was still a sizeable opponent, but it was Ulixus who gained the upper hand. Pinning the war boss to the floor with his giant frame the chaplain detonated a plasma grenade in the war bosses mouth sending both parties flying across the hangar. As his dying form was surrounded by raging Orks, Ulixus sent a final order to Captain Orad, and the Calgar was wiped from the sky.

As Orad stood amongst the dead and dying, he knew that his chapter would not easily recover. They now numbered less than a hundred and fifty souls. As Orad saw the last of the Orks rounded upon and slain, a young scout, grizzled and scarred from the fighting approached him.

 

“Captain, there was a pod that made it off the Calgar.”

 

Just let me know what you think. I'm no writer, just trying to think up a decent history. :P

[elohimalpha]

First off, welcome to the B&C! This has been a great place to develop and interact with other people who are just as passionate about the hobby - hopefully your stay here will be long and fruitful.

 

Ok, enough of that. On to the comments!

 

I'm liking the Chapter name; I'm a sucker for the "Astral" anythings. I'd suggest steering clear of a year-of-founding, since they're rarely so detailed/specific, and go with a numbered founding - looks like the time-frame would put them in the 26th. Just curious as to what the purpose of their founding is. Are they created in response to a specific threat, to shore up holes in an unprotected sector? Usually Chapters have a pretty specific purpose, though they can evolve past it easily enough. They get placed on a pretty idyllic world - how does this affect their recruits? You also mention the ruins of a fortress on the moon - was it an Imperial holding that got destroyed, or the ruins of some alien civilization? Exploring that a bit more could offer an interesting story hook.

 

I like the battle story, but it's pretty long, especially for an IA article. I understand it's most likely pivotal to your Chapter's history, but it could really be pared down to 3-4 paragraphs. You could always sidebar it, too, but having such a detailed account in the history section is a little out of place. Again, I like it, and it's a worthwhile read.

 

So, it looks like you're off to a good start! Some things to consider going forward: how has the decimation of your Chapter changed the way they fight their battles? Has it had any "spiritual" consequences? Are they trying to rebuild, or are they looking to have legendary deaths, taking out as many of the enemies of Man as they can in a final blaze of glory? What's the culture of their home world, and how has it changed the Chapter?

 

Keep it up!

[Chapter Master Ignis Domus]

Well, after pondering an army list for this army I got a bit side tracked and ended up writing them a little history. So here it is, the founding of my Astral swords chapter, so far....

 

 

Founding

The Astral swords were founded in 738.M41 under the watchful eye of Chapter Master Orpheus.

 

I would avoid the specific year.

 

Descending directly from the Ultramarines gene seed. The process of chapter creation can take decades or centuries, and so initially the Astral swords found themselves with a mere three companies of Battle brothers. They were immediately dispatched to the Shylox VI system and took up the planet of Astros as their home world.

 

Why were they dispatched there?

 

Astros was a beautiful planet that held democracy and morals above any wealth. The eco-system flourished like those detailed in the lost history of Terra and the Astral swords had little to bother them in the Shylox VI system.

 

This doesn't seem like a good recruiting ground.

 

Astros once held a sizeable fortress on its only orbiting moon, and the Astral swords rebuilt and refurbished it to the highest standards. Christened ‘Luna’, the fortress was seconded only by the great monastery that stood atop the northern pole of Astros, boosting the Guilliman’s fist defence system which consisted of three orbital lasers. Luna held a wide signalling becon that allowed it to communicate with a range of nearby systems, which boosted the economy of the already booming Astros.

 

Sounds good.

 

Astros Aflame

Master Orpheus, in full battle dress sat at the helm of the lead Thunderhawk as the first company approached Lunius. He had always preferred to fly his own craft, and always refused any other form of transport but his own. The second company had already boarded the Lunius and were making further preparations for battle. It was seconds from then that disaster would strike. Shielded by the shadow of Lunius a Ork Rok sped out of the darkness, its warp drives flaring angrily as it spun into the system. Clearly at the helm was a madman for the craft collided with the side of Lunius and tore it fully in half. The Rok itself detonated its warp drives and imploded in on itself, drawing with it any chance of rescue of its crew. Master Orpheus watched in horror as his second company was dragged screaming into the warp; his emergency procedures barely sparing the first company. As the carnage subsided the first company watched helplessly as two more Roks emerged from warp space into the system. Acting quickly Orpheus dispatched the forth company, who had already barded the strike cruiser Calgar under Chaplain Ulixus to engage the incoming tide. Knowing that he could only buy a small amount time Chaplain Ulixus deployed half of the forth company to the surface of Astros in drop pods to bolster the planets defences. Master Orpheus himself foresaw that the forth company would be lost and offered a silent prayer to them as their cruiser turned to engage. Orpheus himself returned to the surface of Astros to brace for the initial planet fall.

 

Boarded is misspelled. Ditto for fourth. I doubt that the companies would fit onto one Thunderhawk each. If you have that few marines, it means you have a chapter of 90. That is when you go to the heroic last stand mode. How would he see that the fourth company would be lost?

 

The Green Tide

Meanwhile Captain Tiberius Orad of the Third stood watchfully on Luna; the great fortress was a gleaming gem atop the unnamed moon of Astros. It was just as the third company were about to begin boarding preparations when Orad heard of the catastrophe. Orad knew that he could not assist in the defences of Astros’ surface, for if the Orks were to gain control of the Guilliman’s fist defence laser on Luna all would be lost. Unfortunately the preparatory work for firing such a system could take days, and time was not on the Astral swords side.

As Orad watched the Calgar engage the second of the Roks his eyes narrowed, the third and final Rok spewed forth a giant horde of green on to the planet below. As more and moiré Roks began to appear out of the darkness Orad swept done from his watch place and began to mobilise the Third.

The first green skins touched down only minutes later. Fortunately the recklessness of the assault meant many green skins fell prey to anti-aircraft fire laid down by the Battle brothers. The Orks initially led only small charges against Luna, but Orad knew that it was not long before a larger wave would surge from the darker side of the moon. Dispatching his devastator squads to the southern and northern towers, Orad knew that they would be essential in targeting anything that entered the Luna compound. Tide after tide struck against the walls of Luna and weapons began to quickly overheat. Meanwhile, in the depths below the fortress Brother Kanth (the only tech marine that the Third possessed) worked furiously at the mechanisms of Guilliman’s fist. The system required tens of men to configure, but the compound needed every soul to defend it. Back up above on the ground outside Luna average men brushed shoulders with battle brothers as each soul ignited in the heat of battle.

 

Good. I might shorten down the whole battle description. It seems to be longer than the actual IA. I would also include something about what the chapter's character is, not just their battles.

 

The Final Sacrifice

It was dawn the next day when Kanth managed to send word to Orad of the systems availability. Orad himself was knee deep in green corpses as the inner compound was breached only minutes beforehand. Acting quickly he ordered the lasers directed at all Roks that still showed signs of life. The sky was alight wit flame, each ship burning like a new born star in space. The Calgar stood defiantly amongst the wreckage, its broadsides ruined and its helm almost destroyed, but alive it was. Down below, the orks never placed a foot inside the northern monastery, but the world outside lay burned and torched. No life now grew on Astros, for only the space marines stood standing. What happened on the planet’s surface is of much debate. Many accuse Orpheus of setting the planet aflame in desperation, caring not for the lives of none battle brothers. What is known however is that the Space marines had their already limited numbers sacrificed. Only Orpheus and a handful of the first company survived.

Up in the space above, the Calgar turned to dock at the moon base of Luna. Upon turning to port the Calgar began to make indefinable broadcasts the Luna to the surface below. Orad presumed that the ship had been taken by the Orks and primed the defence lasers for firing. It was only when Master Orpheus intervened that Orad halted the lasers. Believing there to be a last squad of the Forth holding out in the engine rooms of the Calgar, Orpheus led the remainder of the First in a daring raid on the ship from the surface of Astros. It was as the brave brothers (only totalling twenty souls) reached the ship that they realised the extent of the Orks raid. The Calgars remaining drop pods were deployed to the surface moon, each of them crammed to the brim with ravenous Orks. Orad knew that he could do nothing o assist his Chapter master, and began to brace for the incoming tide.

 

And so you have fewer and fewer marines. Don't devastate them to much if you want them to stay as a chapter.

 

Rage of Ulixus

As the green skins assailed the walls of Luna on the moon’s surface, Master Orpheus prepared for the breaching of the Calgar.

 

Most moons lack atmosphere. How would Orks survive?

 

Acting quickly, Ulixus threw the unconscious body of his master into a nearby drop pod before slamming the manual release. Ulixus watched the pod descend to the surface of Astros before turning to face the war boss. The giant green skin had defeated the chapter master, but it was in no way in a combat condition. The beast hurled white flame from its combi-weapon as the Chaplain walked slowly towards him. Ork reinforcements began to swarm the hangar once again and Ulixus knew he must act fast. With his body aflame, the chaplain stood as a burning effigy of the Emperor himself, summoning all his courage he charged the war boss in front of him.

The giant green skin was still a sizeable opponent, but it was Ulixus who gained the upper hand. Pinning the war boss to the floor with his giant frame the chaplain detonated a plasma grenade in the war bosses mouth sending both parties flying across the hangar.

 

Marines don't use plasma. Only Eldar. Also, why would he fight the boss if he could just jump in the pod and have Orad blow the whole ship up? It seems like a waste of marines considering the devastation wreaked upon the chapter.

 

As Orad stood amongst the dead and dying, he knew that his chapter would not easily recover. They now numbered less than a hundred and fifty souls.

 

I hate to repeat myself too much, but don't make the chapter this small.

[.Torch.]

This doesn't seem like a good recruiting ground.

 

Why were they dispatched there?

 

Most moons lack atmosphere. How would Orks survive?

 

Thanks, I'll work on it this weekend hopefully. :) I never noticed plot flaws by myself :lol:

 

 

Marines don't use plasma.

 

The Inquisition may have to hear of this....

[.Torch.]

I doubt that the companies would fit onto one Thunderhawk each.

 

Sorry, I wasn't very clear, there were a few more than just the one. I'll correct this in the edit.

[NightrawenII]

Hail brother and welcome in the Liber.

The recommneded format for DIY creation is Index Astartes, as explained and examined here.

Now unto C&C.

 

The Astral swords were founded in 738.M41 under the watchful eye of Chapter Master Orpheus. Descending directly from the Ultramarines gene seed. The process of chapter creation can take decades or centuries, and so initially the Astral swords found themselves with a mere three companies of Battle brothers.

Yes, no and we don't know.

It takes 55years to grown enough gene-seed(1000 samples) for creation of Chapter. However we don't know how long it takes to implant, train and equip the fledgeling Chapter. But I don't think it lasts longer than century.

 

They were immediately dispatched to the Shylox VI system and took up the planet of Astros as their home world. Astros was a beautiful planet that held democracy and morals above any wealth. The eco-system flourished like those detailed in the lost history of Terra and the Astral swords had little to bother them in the Shylox VI system.

- Why? The Astartes recruits from military cultures. Is there anything, which would pick up the marines interest?

 

Astros once held a sizeable fortress on its only orbiting moon, and the Astral swords rebuilt and refurbished it to the highest standards. Christened ‘Luna’, the fortress was seconded only by the great monastery that stood atop the northern pole of Astros, boosting the Guilliman’s fist defence system which consisted of three orbital lasers. Luna held a wide signalling beacon that allowed it to communicate with a range of nearby systems, which boosted the economy of the already booming Astros.

- Once?

 

For the first years all was peaceful and the skies remained silent. Master Orpheus oversaw the standard training procedures and the chapter appeared to be prosperous. However, it was not long before a dark cloud began to overshadow Astros, for the Shylox system was poorly placed between Armageddon and a looming swarm of raging green skins.

- Now is in place to introduce the CHM Orpheus. We know low to zero about him.

 

Shielded by the shadow of Lunius a Ork Rok sped out of the darkness, its warp drives flaring angrily as it spun into the system. Clearly at the helm was a madman for the craft collided with the side of Lunius and tore it fully in half. The Rok itself detonated its warp drives and imploded in on itself, drawing with it any chance of rescue of its crew. Master Orpheus watched in horror as his second company was dragged screaming into the warp; his emergency procedures barely sparing the first company.

- Ehm... Why would the Ork Kapt'n do such thing? It's totaly stupid and un-Orky. :)

 

Acting quickly Orpheus dispatched the forth company, who had already barded the strike cruiser Calgar under Chaplain Ulixus to engage the incoming tide. Knowing that he could only buy a small amount time Chaplain Ulixus deployed...

~

...Meanwhile Captain Tiberius Orad of the Third stood watchfully on Luna...

- I would like to know; Why is nearly every name rip-off of existing ones? :tu:

The Praetors of Orpheus and the Patriarchs of Ulixis are UM 2nd Founding Chapters.

 

Unfortunately the preparatory work for firing such a system could take days, and time was not on the Astral swords side.

- Lol, so they have absolutely useless defence system? "Plot-hole" the size of Eye of Terror. :lol:

 

Meanwhile, in the depths below the fortress Brother Kanth (the only tech marine that the Third possessed) worked furiously at the mechanisms of Guilliman’s fist. The system required tens of men to configure, but the compound needed every soul to defend it. Back up above on the ground outside Luna average men brushed shoulders with battle brothers as each soul ignited in the heat of battle.

- Only one Techmarine in the whole fortress? Oh, c'mon! :tu:

 

++++++++

Don't get me wrong, but I have seen this 100+1 times before. It's typical Mauled-early-in-the-history Chapter, which later presumably follows with That's-why-we-don't-do-things-by-the-book Chapter.

I'm not saying this is wrong, just over(ab)used.

 

Founding

The Astral swords were founded in 738.M41 under the watchful eye of Chapter Master Orpheus.

 

I would avoid the specific year.

738.M41 is date of 26th Founding. :tu:

 

Marines don't use plasma. Only Eldar. Also, why would he fight the boss if he could just jump in the pod and have Orad blow the whole ship up? It seems like a waste of marines considering the devastation wreaked upon the chapter.

No and yes.

No, they don't have access to them in the Codex.

Yes, in the Dark Heresy RPG are PGs available.

[Chapter Master Ignis Domus]

The reason I don't recommend the year is that, as you stated in the top of your post, we don't know how long it takes for a chapter to actually be a chapter. I think when he is talking about it taking days to activate the defense laser, he's talking about days for one techmarine to activate it.