IA: Emperor's Wraiths

[Gurava]

Its too 'my Chapter is better than everyone else'.

 

Who's that? Mmm.. Erm.. MATT WARD!

[Dark Apostle Thirst]

Its too 'my Chapter is better than everyone else'.

 

Who's that? Mmm.. Erm.. MATT WARD!

Please, no Mat Ward hate. He is only a poor scribe, as a general he is quite talented :D

[Corvi Sanguine]

Thanks for all the input and sorry that I've been a little defensive. It's just, you know when you think you have a great idea and then blam, it wasn't that great, lol.

 

I will edit at some point and add all the things I have lost. The Ultramarines Geneseed seems like the way forward

 

Cheers Guys

 

Merry Christmas

[Espada Azul]

To be fair, this happens to EVERYONE. My first few ideas were shot down no less by Commissar Molotov, Sigismund Himself, AND Octavulg. So cheer up, and chalk it to a learning experience.

[Corvi Sanguine]

Back to the Drawing Board!

 

I think I may use Dorn's gene seed thinking about it, any flaws with it? Any place I could have a good read of Imperial Fists and their successors?

 

Cheers

 

Ben

[Corvi Sanguine]

Name: Emperors Wraiths

Founding Chapter: Crimson Fists

Geneseed: Rogal Dorn's

Founding: 6th Founding

Chapter Master: Tiberius

Home World: Thraxus Prime

Fortress Monastery: The Amethyst Ghoul

Main Colours: Purple Armour with Golden Rimmed, Bone Shoulder Plates

Speciality: Devastators, Swift Fortification Entry

Battlecry: Praise be to the Emperor, Praise be to Terra and Faith be with the Astartes!!

Estimated Strength: 1000

 

Background

 

To be added...

[Corvi Sanguine]

Ok here's my new thinking...

 

Same geneseed as Imperial fists, Thraxus Prime where they recruit is home to a race of tanned, white haired humans.

 

The homeworld has a massive jungle continent and a desert continent, temperatures hot for 7 months and cold for 9 months of year (larger orbit than Terra obviously) as the planet does not spin on it's axis. The white hair is due to their new found low level psychic abilities (they are able to feel others emotions, but not read thoughts)

 

The recent swell of psykers amongst the battle brothers are in line with the Emperor's predictions for humanity, not as many as the Blood Ravens but high compared to other chapters.

 

Called upon to lay siege to heavily guarded fortifications, assist in long range bombardment or to fortify buildings due to their specialist use of heavy weapons. Reserve Companies are mainly Devastator Squads, opting for a more "Dug in" role rather than fast assault role. Drop pods are rare, Thunderhawk gunships more common. Called the wraiths due to hardly being seen by the enemy but leaving a great deal of damage. Would be ideal for backing up Raven Guard Marines, Flesh Tearer's etc.

 

Like to consolidate and think out a good plan before launching attack, never rush in but use sound strategem. Rarely field assault troops if other chapters are involved in the battle. Less assault squads/fast attack units than other chapters.

 

Would like to add a Nemesis, hate Dark Eldar or Necrons for example

 

Any thoughts on this?

[soddinnutter]

Looking good.

 

6th is good because its before the Crimson Fists were driven to near extinction.

 

The low level Empath abilities of your chapter sound interesting. The older they get maybe the more they could refine and hone these abilities. For instance someone who has lived long enough to be a seasoned veteran could not only tell if some one is lying and what they are feeling but could also mess with their emotions of those around them to a limited degree. They could create a 'Feels bad/good, man' vibe in those around them.

 

Would they have any actual Librarians?

 

You could get away with a chapter with a 100% extremely low end psionic ability but add real psykers to the mix and things could get intresting.

[Corvi Sanguine]

I would probably go as far as saying a Librarian would always be favoured over any other HQ choices as 2nd to the commander

[Chapter Master Ignis Domus]

The Imperial Fists are missing the Betchers Gland and the Sus'an Membrane.

 

It's Rogal Dorn, not Rogal Dawn. :)

 

There is a sixth founding. It was around 600.M32.

 

I don't see space marines saying "Praise be to the big guns of war". It seems to unrefined for them.

 

Sounds pretty good. Have you ever heard of the Hawk Lords? They're a chapter specializing in Thunderhawk piloting to whom other chapters often send marines to learn from.

[Corvi Sanguine]

Amended Dorn and Battlecry, will look into the Hawk Lords a little closer. Thanks for the help

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

I don't see space marines saying "Praise be to the big guns of war". It seems to unrefined for them.

 

It's not so much what it's saying but how it's being said. It's too simplistic, coarse. Also, 'big guns' usually refers to some sort of artillery and the Astartes do not have much in the way of artillery at all.

 

To be fair, this happens to EVERYONE. My first few ideas were shot down no less by Commissar Molotov, Sigismund Himself, AND Octavulg. So cheer up, and chalk it to a learning experience.

 

Molotov and Siggy are great to receive criticism from and , while so is Octavulg, back when I was new he was a bit more into driving things home with his boot heel. :huh:

 

 

But not to derail the topic too much; he's right. It happens to us all and can happen to the best of us at the best of times. We all view our own ideas through rose-tinted glasses. I usually stick to an old piece of advice for writers.

 

When you write your first short story or book, take that story and put it in a drawer somewhere and leave it. Write more stories and later, come back and re-read your first work. Most of the time you will read it and be horrified at how bad it is and will wonder how you ever thought that was good.

 

The same applies to ideas for IA's and the first draft of an IA itself. Almost nothing passes muster on it's first try with no alterations or edits.

 

Just as no battle plan survives contact with the enemy, no budding IA survives contact with the Liber. :)

[Corvi Sanguine]

Thanks for the advice, I can relax a bit more now and will be much more receptive and open minded from now on.

 

Will draft a background once new year is out of the way.

 

Reading my initial thoughts, is there anything that would be suitable with regards to heavy weapons orientated chapter or is that not a characteristic of Astartes?

 

How about the Psker side of things?

 

Thanks

 

Ben