Soul Guard

[.Torch.]

Just a small outline of a renegade warband, C&C appreciated:

 

 

The fall of the Soul Guard was listed as a disaster, but very few Imperial records have the rebellion listed as a surprise. Long before Grandfather Nurgle whispered in the ears of Chief Apothecary Corvus, the Chapter had already begun the development of dangerous viral toxins to bombard the enemies of the Emperor. Each warhead contained a root from the rare Ancarn flower which grew atop the barren mountains of the Chapter’s home planet of [+++Excommunicate Traitoris+++]. This fabled plant was deadly to the touch and even a Space Marines metabolism could only resist its poison for a limited time. The people of the Chapters homeworld of [+++Excommunicate Traitoris+++] had never before been able to venture into the mountains to retrieve the plant, until the Space Marines of the Adeptus Astartes arrived on their planet. The Soul Guard built their great fortress monastery at the very peak of the tallest mountain on [+++Excommunicate Traitoris+++]. The harsh and bitter conditions of the mountains provided an excellent natural training ground for the chapter, and also the basis for its recruitment. Every year hopeful recruits would be challenged to complete the Chapters selection ritual which involved potential recruits having to climb the great mountain and knock on the Monastery’s giant gates. Any who completed such a task would find that the gates would open for them before and they would be welcomed by the Chapter’s battle brothers. Some, however were deemed unworthy for service with the chapter, for the Master of Recruits kept a constant watch over those participating in the climb. Any man who saw fit to betray or attack another would find that when he knocked the gates would no open. With the strict recruitment guidelines of the Chapter it was not uncommon to see strong men frozen on their knees outside the Chapter’s gates, unsure as to why they had been denied entry into the great mountain sanctuary.

It was after many centuries of service that the Soul Guard began to deviate from the mighty Codex Astartes. Although it was noted that the Chapter did produce certain violent strains of certain toxins, the local system deemed them necessary if the system was to continue to hold back ever growing Ork tribes from the East. It was at this time an Astartes named Corvus, who was Chief Apothecary of the Soul Guard invented the Ancarn strain from a deadly plant that was native to the Chapters homeworld. The Chapter began testing new recruits by exposing them to diluted strains of the virus to test their enhanced metabolism. The virus appeared to be curable and the Chapter master of the Soul Guard, Agramos, ordered that the tests on recruits continue, believing that they would produce strong willed battle brothers. Unknown to all but the Chapter Chief Apothecary, the virus was secretly mutating and solidifying the blood of those if was tested on; the result caused the skin of new recruits to harden like a natural layer of armour. It was not long until the Chapter master was aware of the mutations and demanded an answer from Corvus. The Apothecary was sly and had secretly tainted the chapters supplies of rations, and each battle brother now harboured within him a small strain of the virus. When this was revealed to Agramos, the Master became confused as to how this had happened and he bought Corvus to his knees in a harsh confrontation that nearly killed the Apothecary and almost bled him dry. It was then that the traitor revealed himself; Corvus activated a hidden ventilation system in the Chapter’s monastery, which reacted chemically with the virus strain and triggered a series of violent mutations. Agramos was one of the first to die in the horrific hours that followed. Those that survived were horribly scarred and twisted and became the first plague marines of the Soul Guard. Over time, companies who had not been present at the monastery began to twist and change as well as the virus reacted with varying chemicals across the system. Apothecary Corvus had not designed the virus to react with any chemicals but his own, but was noted as being ‘pleased’ with how the virus reacted with unknown chemicals.

An unplanned incident was the survival of a handful of marines who had found themselves immune to the virus. Led by Captain Helstrom of the third company and numbering less than one hundred battle-brothers, the survivors of the virus attempted a daring escape to the third companies strike cruiser. After the fierce fighting, Helstrom and his loyal followers attempted to bombard the planet’s surface below them. But the corrupted nature of the Chapter’s fleet saw Helstrom’s boarding attempts thwarted time after time. It was during the fifth and final attempt that Helstrom managed to board the strike cruiser Icarus. Forcing his way to the bridge Captain Helstrom unleashed the Ancarn pattern missiles upon the planet below, hoping that the virus would destroy the horrible mutated marines.

 

Long story short he fails, but what do you think of the idea?

[soddinnutter]

SUDDENLY, a wall of text appears!

 

Isn't there a board for short stories?

 

As short stories goes its quite good and believable.

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

There is.

 

The path is: Librarium > Short Stories.

 

The Liber is for the creation of DIY Index Astartes articles and the discussion of the subject chapters within. That said, you'll likely get a few comments here and there.

 

Though the best advice I can give right now is use some paragraphs!. Walls of text tend to scare people away as a lot, such as myself, don't want to gain a headache by trying to read it all. It detracts from any proper structure that you've otherwise attained as well as psychologically it all seems to run together for the reader.

 

Do break it up, it will benefit you and us immensely.