{ARTWORK} Si vis pacem, para bellum

[Mr. Nipples]

Hey dudes, and dudettes.

 

Heres the final of 3 pieces I made to hopefully impress GW, I posted this in the WIP to get input and such but now I have finished it.

 

Lemme know your thoughts, tomorrow is D-Day when the emailings begin.

 

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v218/JasonHeuser/SM_small_DA.png

[Brother Nihm]

My only critique is that the helmets on the marines flanking the un-helmeted brother seem to be oddly shaped. The bottom of them (especially on the right one) appear to be sort of shapeless and off from the classic marine shape. Note that I am on a very bright monitor. I realize that the brother in the middle is 'in focus' but, the shape of their helmets pulls the eye away from him. Then again, you could always chalk it up to distortion from viewing them through the smoke.

 

Other than that, great attention to detail.

And I wish you the best of luck luck with your application.

 

 

Edit: I just noticed that the front of the Iron Halo appears unfinished.

[Vulkan454]

It looks great to me but my only quibble is that the purity seals are a little small but it doesn't matter too much. But sadly i have to agreee about the helmets- they just don't look like they should.

 

But apart from that it's excellent, especially the captains power sword.

 

Vulkan

[Ecritter]

Heads seem a bit smallish, and the sword doesn't match the UM fluff.

[-=Dan=-]

Coming from someone who doesnt read enough fluff to care ;) I think its a fantastic picture, an the marine heads look strange, but as its not the focus of the picture i tend to ignore it.

[Montuhotep]

If you care that much about these little things - the Chapter badge is on the wrong shoulder....

If you can, please indeed change the sword - a shorter Gladius style would be more appropriate for Ultras.

 

But best of luck with it all!

[S. Bloodhowl]

Very nicely done man, your skills in photoshop(?) are amazing. I absolutely love all the detail you've put into it, especially with the lighting.

 

My only worry for you is that I remember reading somewhere that GW prefer their artists to use more traditional methods, but I'm sure no matter what happens it will all turn out well for you.

[Doghouse]

Fantastic stuff mate. The sword looks perfectly fine to me, it looks a lot like the second edition power sword.

[Pulse]

I agree with Doghouse, the sword is fine. Every marine is different and so he would choose what sword he is most comfortable with.

 

Also the chapter symbol on the right shoulder is fine, there are many instances in current artwork and on the showcase minis that have the Ultra symbol on right shoulder.

 

Good luck, i hope it goes well for you Mr.Nipples!

[Aqatone]

Have you guys even seen half the art made for GW? Most of it would give you fluff hounds a heart attack. This by most standards is quite seamless and accurate.

 

I'll echo the comments on the 2 helmets and purity seals however. What is the other piece you're submitting? I've seen the imp fists helmet and this.

[Brother 'Ussell]

Great stuff, good luck!

[Soulblight]

While I do love all the details and the amount of time you laid down into this work, I have just a few humble opinions..

 

1: Personally i wonder who the character is. He got an Halo witch puts him into the rank of an Captain, but his armour is just slightly more ornated then the brother marines around him, making me think he is more of an sergeant. (Looking back at your piece i realise that this may be more of a matter of taste. I myself pictures the Captains as very pimped out characters, so feel free to ignore this point)

 

2. I wish you had added a more central focus point, preferably on his chestplace. An icon/chaptersymbol/skull would really anchor the focus point in the middle of the picture, making my eyes zoom into the lead person, who seems to be the Main Star.

 

3. While the right torch gives an nice reflection on the armor, the left gives none. Perhaps a matter of taste here, but i would like to have a slight reflect on the left side of the armor too. Of course, that maybe is overkill and a detail too mutch...

 

4. Speaking of lights, just a minor critisism; On the highest point of the servitors cape you have put an small shadow CLOSEST to the torch. In my mind it should be - if at all- on the side furthest away from the fire. Also, i would tone down the servitors cape a wee bit more on the front side, as a nod to where the lights are. Perhaps just some thin washes more (speaking in painting sense here cause lack of better ways to get my point thru)

 

5. While adorable done (i seriously think its looks like i would cut of my hand on that edge) the sword seems a bit... blank? Boring is a too strong word but a bit more ornated hilt wouldnt hurt in my eyes.

 

6. Perhaps stepping on fluff here but why is there a red cable and a white stuck into his neck? Loving the glove but could easily see it coming from the armor itself, giving him a small glow from underneath..

 

7. And last; WHY is there a firework going on over him?? Not meaning too be rude or anything but it looks like they are outside, or atleast in a chamber with high roof, and yet sparks is going on. If you keep them, i would think that making some of the "spark-flings" hit his armor would be a cool thing!

 

Now, by all means; I must say im truly impressed with this piece! Your a more talented than me on so many levels that im feeling rather dumb for critisising you!

 

And please, pardon my horrible english - I havent write this mutch in it in a long time so spelling and the way i write may be off the charts! (also tried to run this thru a spellcheck but my computer isnt working with me tonight...) I realise that those of you with english as their native tongue may hurt from this post. And i do apologise for that.

 

I wish you best of luck! GW needs dedicated, new artist like you! (Specially after watching the horrible wrongness that is the cover for Blood Angels Codex!!)

[Chaptermaster Graymantle]

Wow, that is just absolutely WOW!!! :)

[Sandalphon]

Really great use of lighting and textures to give the piece some depth but i have to agree with the chest needing something more detailed and focused, a large feathered aquila in your wonderful gold technique would really make the image pop and emphasise the central focus of the piece. The sword is awesome i wouldnt touch it tbh.

 

The background marines, are well - in the background, but i agree that maybe some 'ears' and an exaggeration of the 'mohawk' might make the helmets feel more traditionally proportional, even just a slight widening of the overall helmet could be enough to shift the attention they're receiving :)

 

My only other 'gripe' would be the proportions of the chest and upper arms and where they meet in relation to the central figure's head, i think they're thickening too much where they meet making him seem bulky and inflated. Particularly his left arm which almost seems to be attached to his ribs.. almost reminds me of a Tau stealth suit if you know what i mean.

 

Dont get me wrong, both technically and generally i think its a great piece and you should not only be proud of it, but confident that you have a great portfolio.

[Pulse]

1: Personally i wonder who the character is. He got an Halo witch puts him into the rank of an Captain, but his armour is just slightly more ornated then the brother marines around him, making me think he is more of an sergeant. (Looking back at your piece i realise that this may be more of a matter of taste. I myself pictures the Captains as very pimped out characters, so feel free to ignore this point)

 

To quote the Codex Astartes on the Iron Halo:

 

This simple badge has its origins in the earlist days of the Imperium. Often painted onto a Marine's armour as a rea badge, the Iron Halo is the insignia for an exceptional leader and strategist. It is displayed on the shoulder armour or helmet of the Brother-Marine as a mark of rank.

No where does it say it is Captain specific, but in the art, the main marine does look like he is a man of rank.

 

5. While adorable done (i seriously think its looks like i would cut of my hand on that edge) the sword seems a bit... blank? Boring is a too strong word but a bit more ornated hilt wouldnt hurt in my eyes.

Each sword is made differently, and Mr.Nipples probably thought that the sword didn't need any ornamentation because of the detailing on the armour. After all the sword is a tool and not there to look pretty, that shouldn't be forgotten.

 

6. Perhaps stepping on fluff here but why is there a red cable and a white stuck into his neck?

That is the neck seal. :)

[Terminatorinhell]

I would have liked to see aquillas on each chest.

[Inquisitor Kravin]

Whilst there will always be things that observers will point out as areas for improvement I think it's absolutely superb.

[Mr. Nipples]

Hey dudes

 

So I held off on submitting this until I fix the aquilla since it was a common thing with the crits. I didn't put it on because originally it just looked to crowded but after much thought it needs it. The sword is relativly minor in my eyes really, think of it like a WYSIWYG conversion on a model..I took some liberties.

 

But yeah thanks for all the input and kind words! I'll fix the chest and post it when its done.

[TheReclusiarch]

I personally love the smaller heads and bulky armour, makes the Marines look even more imposing I think. This is really high quality work and it would be a shame seeing you not working for GW!

[Razrhaghul]

With exception to a little chest detail, and darkening the neckseal area that central marine is fine. BUT as a whole, your composition needs lighting diversity and depth.

 

The reason people's eyes are being drawn to the flanking marines is not because of the marines themselves (their proportions are fine imo), but because of the torches. You have intense light sources in front of them, almost mirrored-symmetry, within frame, that distract the focal point away from that central marine.

 

honestly, i know you're adding them for their Gothic allure, but get rid of the torches, replace them with smoldering censers if you want the red glow. drop those welding sparks and darken that huge bright spot in the upper left behind the marines. They aren't framing the composition or illuminating anything, since the chamber has an ambient glow due to the smoke.

 

that's another thing the light is too ubiquitous. there's no real contrast from foreground to background, which flattens the image. that central marine is fine, but the adepts in the front share the same contrast as the marines to the back creating a conflict in perspective.

 

any marine after those two flanking the center should be silhouette, perhaps edged in white to define what they are, and to indicated direction of lights behind them.

 

given the proximity of the columns to each other in the back, there should be more of them towards the front; thicker if close, and thinner if far. if you want torches, [a defined light source], you could line the columns with faintly glowing lights, in perspective. the closer the columns/lights the more defined the detail which narrow and get hazy as the chamber recedes/smoke.