The Unwanted

[soddinnutter]

The Unwanted

 

Date of Founding

 

322M41 was the date that Brother Enyaki Sladeson was sent upon his Death Oath. But it could be argued that the Unwanted was not truly founded until Sladeson encountered Brother Demetrius Clay of the Imperial Fists in 328.

 

Combat Doctrine

Caden Dyfnallt (Deceased) talking with a PDF soldier after the completion of the Morkorith Campaign

For you it was a Glorious Victory. The sort that fathers tell their children about when they want their admiration. It was the sort that you believe Legends are made of and will go down in history as something to inspire future generations. The sort that will allow you to walk the rest of your life with your head held high with pride that you most definately do deserve. This is all true. But for me all of this was... Friday.

 

Whatever works, within reason.

 

They do not have the numbers or authority to make war on their own terms and instead must accompany other more influential authorities.

 

This is not to imply that they are totally mercenary in nature. They will not fight on behalf of any whom they consider to be having a detrimental effect on the long-term survival of humanity, the dangerously puritan or the dangerously radical factions within the inquisition for example.

 

The pragmatic moderates have on four occasions requested the loaned services of a few battle brothers and have had mixed feelings when the entire chapter, such as it is, has turned up to offer assistance.

 

Recruitment

 

They cannot replenish their ranks using the standard method of Astartes recruitment as they have all had their secondary Progenoid removed by their parent Chapters.

 

The Chapter now actively seeks out Brothers who have been sent on chapter sponsored suicide missions and offers them a home. If they are refused they help them complete their mission, then travel with them back to their home and then offer them again. The second method is most common as it sates the marines desire for closure and personal honour.

 

Equipment

Tends to be extremely old, obsolete, dilapidated or ‘acquired’ from the Imperial Guard. ‘Acquired’ can mean anything. Most of it seems to be scavenged from the dead after battle but occasionally some things go missing. Most regiments just put up with it as the Unwanted more than make up for it in terms of battle prowess.

 

Obtaining new Power Armour is a near impossibility for the Unwanted. It’s not something they can ever ‘acquire’ from the Guard and new suits are made to order for officially existing Chapters. They can not scavenge it off the battle field without bringing down the wroth of a real chapter upon them. If a Brother was exiled with a suit then he keeps it for as long as he can. When battle finally kills the armour its remains are used to patch together an old suit, if possible, or are carried around until the chapter finds someone with the expertise and materials to repair it. The Chapter has thirty-seven Brothers-at-Arms yet only possesses twenty-one suits of functional armour. The sixteen remaining Brothers take on roles where the armour is not quite so missed; Scouts and Devastators.

 

As they are not an official member of the Chapters Astartes they cannot requisition anything through official means.

 

Early in their history they owned a Valkyrie that was given to them from the Imperial Navy after some spectacular counter-boarding action against a Rouge Trader gone Chaotic. Tech-Marine Caden Dyfnallt (Deceased), formerly of the Blood Drinkers, spent all of his out-of-training time doing things to that machine. In the end it was a nuclear powered bolt of belligerent lightning with an Aquilla on one side and an Iron Cog on the other. It was lost twenty-three years latter to ork AA fire along with three Brothers, including Tech-Marine Caden, much to the detriment of the Unwanted.

 

Observations on Travel Time

You ever been stuck on a Trader ship with a bunch of Space Marines? No you haven't. Be grateful. It’s like being stuck in an insane asylum the day no one took their meds. I saw one of the freaks push one of their brothers through a wall. The wall was made of steel reinforced with adamantium. I saw another with glowing red eyes talking to himself and another that seemed to be made entirely of metal. Before I had to spend six weeks on a ship with them I thought that Astartes was another word for Angelic. The ship was three miles long. With them on board it didn’t seem big enough.

Travel

Usually they will travel with a Guard regiment. They were made for war and where ever a Guard Regiment goes there is always a war eventually. The Guard regiments usually welcome their company.

 

They have travelled with the Explorator Fleets of the Mechanicus on two occasions, the first they found a Dreadnaught and the second they obtained a Tech-Adept.

 

If they have to and are desperate they will buy passage on a Rouge Trader ship, but given the chapter’s limited resources this is not the preferred means of travel.

 

The Living Chronicle

 

The great tome compiled and written and still being written by Brother Demetrius Clay. It contains the collected battle reports, recruitment information, the names and deeds of fallen comrades, lists of possible allies, known enemies, transcripts of some of the more interesting overheard astropathic messages and advice on many subjects from making war to negotiating with outside authorities.

 

In appearance it looks like a huge, ragged, old book with pages torn out and moved, new one glued in, extendable pages, photographs stuck in, pages of meticulously drawn observances (Brother Demetrius being an accomplished sketch artist) and an out of date index page.

 

Brother Demetrius claims that he will write it up properly when he is finished but all know that it will never be truly finished until he is dead. And even then someone else will just start a sequel.

 

It also, and more importantly, contains the Unwanted Founders Axioms.

 

It is to the Unwanted what the Codex Astartes is to the Ultramarines.

 

Unwanted Founders Axioms

 

No matter how you glorify the past through nostalgia the most important time to be alive is now. Because now is the only part of existence where we can change what comes next.

 

Form determines function.

 

Personal wealth and the desire for personal wealth can create all sorts of detrimental behavioural patterns.

 

There is no cause with out effect. There is no effect without cause. An effect is almost always the cause of another effect.

 

Everything has reason to be. That reason is either inherent or of external influence.

 

There are no grey areas; there can be no middle between sin and purity. The nature of sin is determined by the context of the act in question.

 

The fewer complexities anything has the less likely it is to go wrong.

 

No world weeps when you leave it. No world rejoices when you arrive. If they do then you are drawing too much attention to yourself.

 

Life is seldom fair.

 

Lord Sladeson:Religion

The day I don’t have to stop members of my merry little Chapter from killing each other over matters of faith and belief is a day without sunshine for me. I grew up in a cave; sunshine on my homeworld resulted in cancer very quickly.

Beliefs

 

There is no coherent form of worship amongst the Unwanted. The full number of the chapter consists of forty individuals and they are each from vastly different worlds and their beliefs range from Cult Mechanicus to Death Cultis, Emperor Deified to Promethium, Ancestor Worship to the Ascensionists. There is much bickering within the Chapter because of this but nothing more. No one wants to see the Chapter torn apart from the inside because no members of the Chapter have anywhere else to go where they would be welcome.

 

Organisation

Chaos if a weakness none can afford

Bedlam, pandemonium and anarchy but not, let me make this abundantly clear, Chaos. Each of us knows that the very least they can expect from a Brother Unwanted is loyalty. When we kill we do it honestly. Chaos is for the weak of soul, the damned and the Forsaken.

There is Lord Sladeson. Then there is everyone else. Everyone else does what they are told.

 

If the Unwanted ever get to a size where more orthodox means or organisation ever become necessary then they will change to use them.

 

Lord Enyaki Sladeson

Duke of Detritus, Tyrant of Trash, Lord of the Outcast, Ruler of the Rejected, Champion of the Exiled and King of Crap

 

Lord Enyaki Sladeson was born long ago on one of the many moons of Circe and was one of the very, very few to aspire and succeed in becoming an Ultramarine. He was awarded full brotherhood status at the age of fifty-two and served with courage and honour for a further two-hundred years.

 

On one fateful mission he was ordered to launch a missile at a boat full of refugees, as there was believed to be several Simulacra in human form onboard. He refused. He was ordered again, he refused and demanded that the three-hundred men women and children be sent to the nearest hospital for detailed examination. He was given one last chance to repent his folly. Brother Sladeson, upon that point, screamed all manner of profanities, curses and unutterable words down the radio.

 

He was not given his Death Oath as a result of his actions so much as for his inability to admit that he was wrong and offer an apology.

 

He was given the task of travelling to the Tau Empire and killing a member of their ruling caste. If he should return with their head he will be given back his old status and his sins forgiven.

 

The moment he dropped out of the Ultramar sub-Empire he was not heard from again for nearly a century and a half and all believed him to have died.

 

He stands at 7’9” and is considered very broadly built, often putting people meeting him for the first time in mind of a wrecking ball that walks like a man. His skin is pitch black and his eyes are ice blue and he lost all his hair to an electrical fault in the mines of his homeworld as a child.

 

Demetrius Clay

’The Universe hates you, because it fears you. Take comfort in that fact’

 

The unofficial second in command. He, along with Brother Sebastian, is the one most likely to be listened to by Lord Sladeson. He is considered co-founder of the Chapter. He encountered Brother Sladeson during his Warriors Pilgrimage.

 

Having had one too many violent rows with the captain of his company he was encouraged to take this as a means of atonement for inspiring dissention within the ranks. He encountered Brother Sladeson in the seventh year of his Pilgrimage after they both decided to assist the same Guard regiment. They recognised a certain kinship despite their differing ancestry. After the campaign of orkoid genocide was complete they both set of together to find more members of the outcast.

 

He is the only member of the chapter with any real inclination towards the written word and in his spare time works on The Living Chronicle.

 

He is the only member of the chapter to carry a power-sword and is phenomenally good at using it. He is 8’1” with proud aristocratic features, a handlebar moustache and one cybernetic eyeball. He is possibly the oldest non-Dreadnaught member of the Unwanted and has seen just about everything. As a result he is completely unflappable.

 

He seems to live off nothing but tea and the torn out hearts of his opponents.

 

Voice of the Chapter

’And the voice of the Emperor was in the wind that caressed the leaves of the Tree of Life and whispered into the minds of the First Ones. And so it is that all hear the voice of the Emperor and hear it in their own tongue’

 

Sister Rosolind, a former member of the Order of the Sacred Oath of the Adepta Sororitas. She took her oaths in her fourteenth year, joined the Order, served faithfully for four years and then her latent psy-‘gift’ began to develop. She was excommunicated for the sin of witchcraft and had her eyes ritually burned out by the application of a red-hot ceremonial iron bar. She was then left to hang by a chain from a very tall tree from her bound hands until death would come for her after days of torment. It was during the second day that the Unwanted found her, incapacitated her Sisters, broke her chains and claimed her as one of their own. The Sisters who had been guarding her were found several days later, hanging from very tall trees, by chains, with their hands bound and bandages over their eyes.

 

Under the care of the Unwanted, Sister Rosolins’s psy-gift developed into an extremely advanced form of Omnilingualism. She is quite tall, 5’11”, slender, has black hair, pale skin, delicate features and would have been quite pretty were it not for the ravaged and empty eye-sockets.

 

Her job in the Chapter is to do the talking. Many refuse to deal with Lord Sladeson directly and many more are fearful of simply being in his presence. But there is nothing fearful about a blind lady.

 

Spends most of her free time listening to poetry.

 

Apothecary Nwabudike

’We consider the gene-seed to be sacred because it was crafted by the hand of Him on Earth. Yet we do not ask where he came from? I find that oddly distressing’

 

A defect from the Marines Malevolent. Sent upon a Redemption Pilgrimage for altering some of the more invasive transformation surgeries to involve anaesthetic, without informing his Chapter Master. Stands at about 6’11”, putting him well below the standard stature for an Astartes, his Melanchromic Organ has started to act oddly and he has now developed Albinism. Suffers from bouts of extreme depression brought about by his inability to fix his own body, questions about his worthiness post-exile and the nagging doubts about his parent chapter’s state of spiritual well being. Takes capacious amounts of Imperial Guard issue combat-stims to feel better.

 

Out of all of his new brothers he is the only one with any skills or training as an Apothecary. He did not manage to complete his Apothecarium training with the Marines Malevolent and much of what he is doing he is not sure of. Most of the more challenging operations he performs are with the aid of many old tomes ‘Borowed’ from the Adeptus Biologicus, an adaptable nature and his own collected notes. His patients can be identified by the masses of scar tissue they show, as Mr Nwabudike has yet failed to master skin grafts.

 

Tech-Adept Fawx

’String. String and Sticky-tape. Give me enough of either and I can patch most things up for a short while. You want a better job then I’m going to need someone to go and fetch me some spares’

 

As with many within the insular and fractious Mecanicus it is impossible to even guess at his age. He appears to have very few cyber-blessings but is cold to the touch giving the impression that much more of his body is just carefully disguised as organic. His eyes are bright, vivid green and are almost certainly as artificial as his alloy teeth. He is tall, thin and generally puts people in mind of a predatory lizard in a red robe.

 

He claims to be on pilgrimage but when asked gives neither his point of origin or his intended destination. It is possible he is running from something or he may be much, much older than he appears and have honestly forgotten. He seems to know the basics of maintenance and repair in regard to standard Astartes equipment and carries around a Bolt Pistol with a Doom Eagles idnet-plate stamped onto it. It is possible he scavenged it off a battlefield but is also as likely that he has been affiliated with the Doom Eagles at some point. He claims ignorance of the Bolt Pistols origins.

 

Many of the Unwanted think that he may be going senile, or that his brain is not wholly organic and a meme-virus has given him data corruption.

 

He tends to the Armoury and in his spare time reads Mechanicus poetry to Sister Rosolind.

 

Astropath Anya

’I knitted you a scarf. I was trying to knit some socks but it wanted to be a scarf. I accidentally overheard that the Seenda Proxima is under siege from the Arch-Arsonist again. Reinforcements are being mustered in a neighbouring system. I hope you like the colour pink because its the only colour wool I have left’

 

Ran away to join the circus. After sixty years as an astropath and living a life of strict regime and dull predictability joining a semi-legal travelling band of half-mercenaries seemed like a good idea at the time. And on the whole it has been. Given how she is the only astropath in the Chapter she has influence, people listen to her. She is in her seventies now and walks with the aid of two sticks, unlike most astropahts she can see perfectly and her eyes are a dull amber yellow. Her skin is an earthy brown and her hair is very curly and completely white. Spends most of her time ‘accidentally’ overhearing official astropathic messages whilst knitting. She is the most recent addition to the Unwanted.

 

Dreadnaught Sebastian Theron Phyre

’I will endure’

 

It was during the fifth mission of the newly emergent chapter that the Dreadnaught known as Sebastian Theron Phyre joined the Unwanted. To this day he retains the honour of being the only member of the Unwanted not to be either in exile or running away from something.

 

He was a member of the Shadow Wolves and possibly the only member to survive its extinction. From what the Unwanted have been able to piece together he was, with his brothers, fighting upon the capital Hiveworld of the Julianus Moon System. One of the hive spires collapsed on him. His brothers believing that he was dead moved on and never returned leaving Brother Sebastian buried under a mountain of rubble.

 

He lay in the darkness with nothing but his own thoughts for company for more than five hundred years.

 

The Unwanted found him when their astropath of the time, a sickly youth who they bought for cheap off the Adeptus Astropathicus (Because of his whole host of medical problems he was not expected to live long. They were right), reported that he could hear someone singing under the ground.

 

Wracked with grief at the news of his Orders death and tormented by loneliness he joined the Unwanted because it’s the only thing he could think of doing.

 

He serves as a mobile heavy weapons platform and often advisor to Lord Sladeson, as he has a great wealth of knowledge regarding the correct running of a Chapter. The Unwanted ‘acquired’ a couple of Imperial Guard issue Laser Cannons and managed to convert them in to a twin-linked Laser Cannon Arm to replace the irreparably damaged Melta weapon.

 

Much of his hide is a mass of welding scars and patchwork repairs, he asked to be repainted light blue, the colour of mourning on his old Homeworld of Varadon.

 

He has watched the chapter grow from seven members to its current strength of thirty-seven.

 

His personality tends towards the stoic and stubborn. With his new chapter he has taken part in more than fifty victories and has taken an inordinate beating since his rediscovery. Along the length of his Cannon are the words ‘I Will Endure’ inlaid in brass. He is thought to be extremely ancient, although without the records of his dead chapter its impossible to say how ancient. He can no longer remember a time when he was not a Dreadnaught. Unlike most of his kind he does not sleep, at all. By choice he has remained conscious since he was excavated.

 

Kai Zane

’Because it tells me to’

 

Brother Kai Zane was given a one man penitence crusade after reputedly claiming he was possessed. He, at that point in his life, had never even seen action against the Deamonic and the Librarians and Chaplains of his Chapter, the Storm Giants, searched in vain for this entity. After much time they were convinced that he was clear of all taint. He was, however, possibly insane. In the end they sent him into exile to prevent him becoming a liability to their chapter.

 

‘I can see it. It’s hand rests upon your shoulder. It’s leaning forward and whispering into your ear, telling you to do things, bad things, red things’. Those were the words spoken by Brother Sebastian upon first encountering Brother Zane, and with them Brother Zane knew he was home.

 

He may be one ant short of a picnic, never quite sure what day it is and have more nervous ticks than a cheap brothel mattress but he is a true son of Vulkan and as a strict Promethean he is quite kindly disposed in a distant way if a little odd to be around. Especially when he says something odd like ‘It’s listening to you’.

 

Upon his exile he was forced to relinquish his war-plate. He now does as an Unwanted Scout. His companions are an Exitus Rifle of suspicious origin, a razor sharp sickle and a voice only he can hear. He made his own Carapace Armour in borrowed time at a Mechanicus Forge and hardly ever takes it off. This may be because as a son of Vulkan his appearance unnerves people. He is 7’5”, of average Astartes build and has the blunted features common among Space Marines.

 

Magnus Rocklandson

’What makes you think you have the right to even look at me, human?’

 

Former member of the Steel Confessors. Was sent on a Death Oath for being a luddite and allowing his technophobia to overwhelm him when it came time to leave the Scout Company.

 

Like all descendants of the Iron Hands upon full accession he was expected to sacrifice the organic nature of his right hand and have it replaced with the purity of the machine. He refused. It was unprecedented. Bad words were exchanged and Brother Rocklandson barley made it off of Protonus alive.

 

He stands at 7’11”. He is thin for a Marine with deep-set eyes and overly pronounced cheekbones giving people the impression that he can already see them dead. This is quite correct. He does not get along well at all with non-Astartes, is intolerant of abbhumans, psykers and mutants and would quite happily leave the Unwanted had he anywhere else to go. His skin is a very pale grey. He has no Black Carapace. He also dislikes using anything complex enough to have a machine spirit for the purpose of war and is mildly disturbed by prosthetic body parts. He has no Black Carapace and as such Power Armour is impossible for him to use should he ever have felt inclined to use it.

 

He is not the most stable of creatures and occasionally suffers from bouts of omnidirectional homicidal rage. Lord Sladeson suspects it will only be a matter of time before he is forced to play the part of Executioner again should Brother Rocklandson become too much of a liability.

 

Jerrick Varkov

’Less than 5% of my flesh remains. Try and guess what it is’

 

The Red Talons are a second founding of the Iron Hands and as such worship the Emperor in the form of the Omnissiah and believe them both to be one and the same. Technophillia predominates their culture, as the Emperor became one with the mechanisms of the Holy Throne so they must become one with the Everlasting Machine. Not so much because they despise the flesh as week but because they believe machine more resilient in war.

 

Brother Jerrick Varkov fell from grace with his chapter because of possessing a love of cybernetic enhancement that bordered on the obsessive even by the standards of his peers, a religious view that venerates the Omnissiah above the Emperor and the conviction that the Imperium is ruled by two very different entities. He and the five others of his squad were exiled for sharing this view

 

He and his brothers-in-exile spent some considerable time marching to battle with the Legio Skitarii and sold their services quite happily to afford better equipment or, in the case of Brother Varkov, artificial enhancement.

 

As time passed attrition stole his brothers away from him. All alone he volunteered for missions with less and less chance of survival until one day when he ended up in the same regiment as a band of mercenary Marines.

 

By now there is almost nothing left of his body that could be considered organic or alive. But as Brother Vorkov is fond of saying ‘There is no certainty in the flesh but the taste of chicken’.

 

He is a 7’7” statue of polished chrome with elegant coppery inlay. He is cheerful and boisterous and gets along with just about everyone except Brother Rocklandson. The only thing he misses from his old chapter are his five brothers-in-exile and the arid wasteland of Raikan where he was raised.

 

Gregorius Ellam

’Do not scoff at the PDF, brothers. They might not have the equipment or training of the Guard but they are defending their homes and that will give them a resolve that the Guardsmen lack’

Gregorius Ellam, formally of the Black Guard, was a part of a campaign to end a rebellion upon the planet Joura. After nine years the campaign was a success and Brother Ellam was briefly promoted to Brother-Sergeant for surviving behind enemy lines for seven of those years, severely hampering enemy supply lines and putting bullet through a Rebel General’s head. Unfortunately by the time the Black Guard declared victory the infrastructure of the planet was ruined. Brother Ellam expressed a belief that the Black Guard should stay and use its expertise and knowledge to help return Joura to its former glory. This request was denied. The request was made several other times, each time with a different reason given. All were rejected. In the End Brother Ellam declared that he could not in good conscience leave the world to be inevitably raided back into the Stone Age by the orks of the neighbouring Jagart system.

 

His Captain stripped him of his new title, his Brothers bid him farewell and his Chapter Master condemned him Outcast. Because of his otherwise exemplary record before this event he was allowed to keep his Armour and heavily customised sniper rifle.

 

He then set about re-making the planets military from the bottom up. By the time the Orks arrived, near thirty years later, the military proved to be everything that Brother Ellam had hoped for. But more Orks came. And more. In the end the Governor had to ask for outside help.

 

Help arrived in the form of several Praetorian Guard Regiments and a handful of what were on first inspection Renegade Space Marines.

 

After the war these strange Marines approached him with an offer. They had seen his expertise as a warrior and felt that his services would be better put to being a Space Marine again. He had, they claimed, done as much as he possibly could for this world as its custodian. He accepted the offer and has tasted many fresh victories in the name of Corax and the Emperor in his time amongst the Unwanted.

 

He is a typical child of Corax with black-on-black eyes, black hair and bone-white skin. He is 7’6”, of average Astartes build, has the universes most badly re-set broken nose, skin so craggy and grizzled as to appear like old boot leather and two cybernetic fingers (index and middle) on his right hand from a knife fight with a mob of ork kommandoz. Many within the Unwanted believe that he is simply awaiting the day when his former chapter forgive him and ask for his return. With each successful mission with the Unwanted it looks more and more unlikely that he would return if asked, and with each passing year it looks more and more unlikely that they would ask.

 

Axel of the Blake tribe

'Faith with out intellect is useless, ambition without nobility is sinful and rage without direction is a weakness. Weakness must be overcome’

 

Certainly the most physically imposing member of the Unwanted. He stands at 8’6” and is as broad across the shoulders as Lord Sladeson. He has lightly tanned skin, green eyes and black curly hair. He is not so noisy as to be annoying but not so quiet as to be worrying. He was a member of the Sons of Anteaus, and even managed to attain the rank of Captain before his banishment.

 

He was banished for publicly declaring the Imperium as a dying empire and voicing his opinion that maybe the Sons of Anteaus should be trying to conquer as many worlds as possible so that when it does eventually collapse in on it’s self they will have a stable base to rebuild from. The amount of support that this idea did not get from his brethren was truly phenomenal. Only his rank spared his heresy spelling his execution and only the fact that his brethren considered his armour to be ‘contaminated’ by his heresy meant that he was not sent away naked.

 

He was packed into an airtight crate and loaded onto a Navy vessel carrying several regiments of the Penal Legion to die at the hands of the orks and so earn redemption. The crew were given strict orders not to open the crate for at least a day after they set sail. Out of the 120,000 that the prison barge took to war only 724 survived. One of them was wearing Power Armour.

 

He has ‘acquired’ a Guard issue multi-melta, a weapon he favours above all others. It is meticulously maintained and the trigger has been altered to admit a much larger finger. Because of his fondness for this particular weapon he gets used to kill tanks, which many have claimed he resembles.

 

All among the Unwanted have marvelled at his ability to withstand huge amounts of physical damage and not even flinch. This, many consider, is because he is dead from the neck upwards and would not notice if he were killed until he’s already recovered.

 

Acalan

‘I am His Herald and his Prophet and believe me when I tell you he is coming back and he is not going to be very happy with things as they are now’

 

Acalan is what happens on that most rare of occasions when a Chaplain changes faith. His faith was originally that of the Rainbow Warrior’s Death Cult. They believed that the Emperor had transcended transience and hovered in the twilight realm of mortality.

 

Acalan believed that the Emperor was in a coma and the plug needed to be pulled so that he could be allowed to die and be reborn.

 

This belief was not, in it’s self, seen as heretical by the Chapter. About 20% of their homeworlds population shared this view and they had no problem with that. A Battle-Preacher adopting this view? Unprecedented, certainly, but not outside reason. Trying to get a petition signed to take to the Elder Council to start a crusade to Holy Terra and attack the Imperial Palace? So far from reason that it can actually see the curvature of the universe.

 

He was told to leave the Rainbow Warriors and never to come home until his faith had healed or death had claimed him.

 

The first thing he did upon leaving the Fortress was get the first mag-lev to the capital city and ‘persuade’ the overseer of the international museum to hand over the suit of MkIII Power Armour left behind from the Great Crusade by the conquering Dark Angels. By the time news of this had reached back to his once-brothers he was halfway to a distant system onboard a Rouge Trader ship.

 

The armour was repainted black and a skull was painted upon the brutal angles of the helmets faceplate. Given how Acalan has the artistic ability of a child the skull looks more like a black and white smiley face. This permanent smile often leads people to believe that he is happy. He is not happy. Nothing makes him happy, not even kittens. He is as proud and cold as a prince of hell. Brother Nwabudike discovered the reason for this was because at some point in the past one of his battle injuries has been six-inch diamond needle being jammed into the back of his head and irreparably damaging the bit of the brain responsible for ‘happy’.

[Heru]

Lose the font, and text size change. Neither of those will encourage people to read about your group.

[Ecritter]

Lose the font, and text size change. Neither of those will encourage people to read about your group.

 

It really does give me a headache, I'll try to go through this later.

[Guest Mordray]

Odd that. I guess I'm a freak then... I have no problem with the font and text size changes.

 

Nice job. I like the various characters you've gathered together. Really screams epic story in the making to me. Even just reading through the list I got vague imagery of a bunch of hard as hell mercs getting ;) done and not giving a damn what others think about it.

 

‘I can see it. It’s hand rests upon your shoulder. It’s leaning forward and whispering into your ear, telling you to do things, bad things, red things’. Those were the words spoken by Brother Sebastian upon first encountering Brother Zane, and with them Brother Zane knew he was home.

 

This was easily my favorite part. Sebastian, Zane and Varkov are easily my favorites out of the marines while the blind sister wins my interest out of the none astartes.

 

That said...

 

I have a problem with the statements made about many of the chapters such as (for example) the Red Talons. We know they are second founding Iron Hands, however we don't know how they react to mechanization, nor do we know their beliefs. They could damn well be opposed to the very concept of the Machine God, however we don't know that.

 

You are not writing about the other chapters. You are writing about a bunch of outcasts and their journey for a place to belong and likely an ass to kick.

[NightrawenII]

She was then left to hang by a chain from a very tall tree from her bound hands until death would come for her after days of torment. It was during the second day that the Unwanted found her, incapacitated her Sisters, broke her chains and claimed her as one of their own. The Sisters who had been guarding her were found several days later, hanging from very tall trees, by chains, with their hands bound and bandages over their eyes.

- From this point onwards they are not only unwanted, but also renegates hunted down.

 

Ran away to join the circus. After sixty years as an astropath and treated as little more than a piece of equipment joining a semi-legal travelling band of half-mercenaries seemed like a good idea at the time.

- If you think so, then you are severely underestimating Adepta Astra Telephatica.

 

 

To be honest. This is full of crapy ideas and unplausible explanations.

[soddinnutter]

Any better?

[Ecritter]

Much better, I've been up for like 20 hours .... so I'll give it a good look over sometime after I get some rest.

[lord draceus]

this is great the size changes are a little ... unnecessary though

[Andurin Marvak]

Excellent work! I really enjoyed this.

[Blacklight]

I really enjoyed it as well! The dreadnought Sebastian I really liked, and I'm glad I'm not the only one making dreadnoughts that don't sleep :lol: Keep it up!

[JJmug]

"first they found a Dreadnaught and the second they obtained a Tech-Adept."

 

You don't just find a Drednought, if a chapter loses one they do anything to get it back, Drednoughts are incredibly rare.

 

This is bad, if you deleted everything and started fresh it might work.

[Blacklight]

"first they found a Dreadnaught and the second they obtained a Tech-Adept."

 

You don't just find a Drednought, if a chapter loses one they do anything to get it back, Drednoughts are incredibly rare.

 

This is bad, if you deleted everything and started fresh it might work.

 

They didn't just find it. The dread was underground for 500 years because a hive spire collapsed on him. It's not that far of a stretch to think that his chapter would assume him destroyed. Hive spires are huge, imagine a Coruscant skyscraper falling on your head. You probably should be dead if that happened.

[Andurin Marvak]

JJmug, there's a difference between constructive criticism and being a buttmunch. It wouldn't have bothered me if your remarks had been in any way detailed or thought out, if you felt it needed to be harsh, you needed to be harsh. However, you spit out a couple sentences that, as noted by Blacklight, weren't exactly well thought out.

[soddinnutter]

More background added. Better or Worse?

[Brother Rathul]

More background added. Better or Worse?

I don't think it's that bad, it could use some more fluff or more different characters.

I had something like this in my mind a couple years ago..... :rolleyes:

[Chapter Master Ignis Domus]

First, I'll just say this: Please! Get rid of the large size. It hurts, precious, it hurts!

 

Date of Founding[/b]

 

322M41 was the date that Brother Enyaki Sladeson was sent upon his Death Oath. But it could be argued that the Unwanted was not truly founded until Sladeson encountered Brother Demetrius Clay of the Imperial Fists in 328.

 

Well, that's exciting and heroically epic. Who are these two? Where are they from? Why did they meet? When was Mr. Clay sent away? Why should we care about them? What color boxers were they wearing at the time, and were there superman logos on them?

 

Aimon Guerrero (Deceased) talking with a PDF soldier after the completion of the Morkorith Campaign-For you it was a Glorious Victory. The sort that fathers tell their children about when they want their admiration. It was the sort that you believe Legends are made of and will go down in history as something to inspire future generations. The sort that will allow you to walk the rest of your life with your head held high with pride that you most definately do deserve. This is all true. But for me all of this was... Friday.

 

And who would this warrior be? Yes, the Guerrero thing does bother me.

 

Whatever works, within reason.

 

Say what?

 

They do not have the numbers or authority to make war on their own terms and instead must accompany other more influential authorities.

 

"They" need some more background. Who are these other influential authorities? Surely you don't mean the Imperium? They would be shot on sight.

 

This is not to imply that they are totally mercenary in nature. They will not fight on behalf of any whom they consider to be having a detrimental effect on the long-term survival of humanity, the dangerously puritan or the dangerously radical factions within the inquisition for example.

 

Here we go with the "theys" again. And once again, NO IMPERIALS! Guns in your face are not pretty.

 

The pragmatic moderates have on four occasions requested the loaned services of a few battle brothers and have had mixed feelings when the entire chapter, such as it is, has turned up to offer assistance.

 

See the above.

 

The Chapter now actively seeks out Brothers who have been sent on chapter sponsored suicide missions and offers them a home. If they are refused they help them complete their mission, then travel with them back to their home and then offer them again. The second method is most common as it sates the marines desire for closure and personal honour.

 

That was short. Perhaps consider adding more?

 

Tends to be extremely old, obsolete, dilapidated or ‘acquired’ from the Imperial Guard. ‘Acquired’ can mean anything. Most of it seems to be scavenged from the dead after battle but occasionally some things go missing. Most regiments just put up with it as the Unwanted more than make up for it in terms of battle prowess.

 

Again, see the Imperial thing a bit up.

 

Obtaining new Power Armour is a near impossibility for the Unwanted. It’s not something they can ever ‘acquire’ from the Guard and new suits are made to order for officially existing Chapters. They can not scavenge it off the battle field without bringing down the wroth of a real chapter upon them. If a Bother was exiled with a suit then he keeps it for as long as he can. When battle finally kills the armour its remains are used to patch together an old suit, if possible, or are carried around until the chapter finds someone with the expertise and materials to repair it. The Chapter has thirty-seven Brothers-at-Arms yet only possesses twenty-one suits of functional armour. The sixteen remaining Brothers take on roles where the armour is not quite so missed; Scouts and Devastators.

 

0. We must exile these...these...BOTHERs! They despoil our minds, and bother us with their bothersome botheryness.

 

1. They've already brought down the wrath of the chapter.

 

2. Where are these old suits from?

 

3. Not much of a chapter with only 37. Try a band.

 

Early in their history they owned a Valkyrie that was given to them from the Imperial Navy after some spectacular counter-boarding action against a Rouge Trader gone Chaotic. Tech-Marine Aimon Guerrero (Deceased), formerly of the Blood Drinkers, spent all of his out-of-training time doing things to that machine. In the end it was a nuclear powered bolt of belligerent lightning with an Aquilla on one side and an Iron Cog on the other. It was lost twenty-three years latter to ork AA fire along with three Brothers, including Tech-Marine Aimon, much to the detriment of the Unwanted.

 

At this point, I'll stop pointing out the Imperial thing.

 

In appearance it looks like a huge, ragged, old book with pages torn out and moved, new one glued in, extendable pages, photographs stuck in, pages of meticulously drawn observances (Brother Demetrius being an accomplished sketch artist) and an out of date index page.

 

The Codex lives! :teehee:

 

It also, and more importantly, contains the Unwanted Founders Axioms.

 

It is to the Unwanted what the Codex Astartes is to the Ultramarines.

 

1. What does the first sentence mean?

2. Hey, it really is the codex! I was right!

 

There is Lord Sladeson. Then there is everyone else. Everyone else does what they are told.

 

Lovely. Care to expand on that? Everyone has a hierarchy, even if it's semi-unofficial.

 

Duke of Detritus, Tyrant of Trash, Lord of the Outcast, Ruler of the Rejected, Champion of the Exiled and King of Crap

 

Suspension of disbelief died completely at this point. Think the 'I'm not dead yet' scene from Monty Python.

 

He was not given his Death Oath as a result of his actions so much as for his inability to admit that he was wrong and offer an apology.

 

He was given the task of travelling to the Tau Empire and killing a member of their ruling caste. If he should return with their head he will be given back his old status and his sins forgiven.

 

Wait, I thought you said he wasn't given an oath?

 

The moment he dropped out of the Ultramar sub-Empire he was not heard from again for nearly a century and a half and all believed him to have died.

 

He stands at 7’9” and is considered very broadly built, often putting people meeting him for the first time in mind of a wrecking ball that walks like a man. His skin is pitch black and his eyes are ice blue and he lost all his hair to an electrical fault in the mines of his homeworld as a child.

 

He's really old then.

 

The unofficial second in command. He, along with Brother Sebastian, is the one most likely to be listened to by Lord Sladeson. He is considered co-founder of the Chapter. He encountered Brother Sladeson during his Warriors Pilgrimage.

 

 

I told you there was a hierarchy.

 

He is the only member of the chapter to carry a power-sword and is phenomenally good at using it. He is 8’1” with proud aristocratic features, a handlebar moustache and one cybernetic eyeball. He is possibly the oldest non-Dreadnaught member of the Unwanted and has seen just about everything. As a result he is completely unflappable.

 

He seems to live off nothing but tea and the torn out hearts of his opponents.

 

At this point I'm going to stop. I would recommend deleting most of this, and just keep a few general ideas. Marines living on tea and hearts? Astropaths who intercept messages while knitting? I think not.

[Whitefireinferno]

TBH this sounds like a bunch of bad backgrounds from DND folks who have no real concept of the Galaxy and are being forced to play a hodge podge of Rogue Trader and deathwatch. Most is unbelievable to start with from the Dread they found who had been buried for 500 years (hello crazy may I eat your kittens and spoons?) who WOULD have been dug out because well thats what his chapter would Have done unless the world was Glassed or eaten by Nids. To the fact most of them would have been executed for the reasons they are here and the fact being hunted By the Sisters means Black ships Everywhere.

 

Oh and the individual heights listed are quite pointless and is what makes me think back to my first statement.

 

I have a final Question Is the Character got anything to do with Mates of yours or something?

[Captain Juan Juarez]

TBH this sounds like a bunch of bad backgrounds from DND folks who have no real concept of the Galaxy and are being forced to play a hodge podge of Rogue Trader and deathwatch. Most is unbelievable to start with from the Dread they found who had been buried for 500 years (hello crazy may I eat your kittens and spoons?) who WOULD have been dug out because well thats what his chapter would Have done unless the world was Glassed or eaten by Nids.

 

In Legends of the Space Marines - one of the short stories - a Dreadnaught is discovered by the Black Templars. Said Dread is of the Crimson Fists and is presumed lost during the First War for Armageddon - IIRC, it was the first - so there is a little leeway.

[NightrawenII]

TBH this sounds like a bunch of bad backgrounds from DND folks who have no real concept of the Galaxy and are being forced to play a hodge podge of Rogue Trader and deathwatch. Most is unbelievable to start with from the Dread they found who had been buried for 500 years (hello crazy may I eat your kittens and spoons?) who WOULD have been dug out because well thats what his chapter would Have done unless the world was Glassed or eaten by Nids.

 

In Legends of the Space Marines - one of the short stories - a Dreadnaught is discovered by the Black Templars. Said Dread is of the Crimson Fists and is presumed lost during the First War for Armageddon - IIRC, it was the first - so there is a little leeway.

:o

The Crimson Fists weren't present at the First War for Armageddon.

 

1st WFA - Space Wolves + Grey Knights vs. Angron and Chaos marines.

2n WFA - Ultramarines, Blood Angels and Salamanders vs. Orks.

3rd WFA - A lot of Chapters, btw I'm not sure if the Crimson Fists were present at all. vs. Orks.

 

Edit: After looking into Codex: Armageddon... yep there is no mention of the CF during the war.

[Captain Juan Juarez]

TBH this sounds like a bunch of bad backgrounds from DND folks who have no real concept of the Galaxy and are being forced to play a hodge podge of Rogue Trader and deathwatch. Most is unbelievable to start with from the Dread they found who had been buried for 500 years (hello crazy may I eat your kittens and spoons?) who WOULD have been dug out because well thats what his chapter would Have done unless the world was Glassed or eaten by Nids.

 

In Legends of the Space Marines - one of the short stories - a Dreadnaught is discovered by the Black Templars. Said Dread is of the Crimson Fists and is presumed lost during the First War for Armageddon - IIRC, it was the first - so there is a little leeway.

:D

The Crimson Fists weren't present at the First War for Armageddon.

 

1st WFA - Space Wolves + Grey Knights vs. Angron and Chaos marines.

2n WFA - Ultramarines, Blood Angels and Salamanders vs. Orks.

3rd WFA - A lot of Chapters, btw I'm not sure if the Crimson Fists were present at all. vs. Orks.

 

Edit: After looking into Codex: Armageddon... yep there is no mention of the CF during the war.

 

It was probably the Second War during which he was lost then.. I didn't bring the book to work, but I remember it was set during one of the Wars - must have been found during the Third then.

[Lord Heremes]

as much as my suspension of disbelief was obliterated and it not being fluff accurate, i found this quite entertaining and a very interesting concept.

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

Honestly, I think everyone is being rather a bit too toey about the 'fluffyness' of the article.

 

While I myself am usually wont to harp on about everything working within the shared universe, this is good stuff.

 

It's thoughtful and amusing and takes a light hearted jab at the 40k universe and really doesn't break anything irreparably. I can quite easily see these guys pottering about the Imperium, bouncing from war zone to war zone and picking up the odd straggler and outcast along the way.

 

I do like how instead of one member to one thousand, it's thirty seven.

 

I love this article and this rag-tag group of head-case would be heroes.

 

It made me laugh and should be preserved and supported based on that fact alone.

 

Keep it up soddinnutter, it's good stuff. :D

 

To the fact most of them would have been executed for the reasons they are here and the fact being hunted By the Sisters means Black ships Everywhere.

 

Now since most of your other comments are over the top punishing, I'll stick to this one.

 

The Black Ships are of the Inquisition. The Adeptus Sororitas are the chamber militant of the Ecclesiarchy, not the Inquisition. They are often requested by Ordo Hereticus inquisitors because they naturally have strong ties to the Ecclesiarchy since Heresy is at it's root a theological issue, despite it having other dire consequences in the 40k universe.

 

Hunted by the Sororitas doesn't mean black ships, or any ships really. The Ecclesiarchy is not allowed to have men under arms so no naval ships. If the Inquisition hasn't declared them Excommunicate Traitorus then they wouldn't be hunted by the Black Ships either, especially considering the Black Ships spend most of their time fulfilling their duties by finding and capturing rogue psykers rather than outcast Space Marines.

[NightrawenII]

The Black Ships are of the Inquisition. The Adeptus Sororitas are the chamber militant of the Ecclesiarchy, not the Inquisition. They are often requested by Ordo Hereticus inquisitors because they naturally have strong ties to the Ecclesiarchy since Heresy is at it's root a theological issue, despite it having other dire consequences in the 40k universe.

 

Hunted by the Sororitas doesn't mean black ships, or any ships really. The Ecclesiarchy is not allowed to have men under arms so no naval ships. If the Inquisition hasn't declared them Excommunicate Traitorus then they wouldn't be hunted by the Black Ships either, especially considering the Black Ships spend most of their time fulfilling their duties by finding and capturing rogue psykers rather than outcast Space Marines.

Depends on the kind of Black Ships. ;)

Collecting psykers is the duty of Adeptus Astra Telepathica's League of Blackships.

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

Collecting psykers is the duty of Adeptus Astra Telepathica's League of Blackships.

 

Hmm, I always thought that the collection of rogue or unbound psykers was the Inquisitions job.

 

I don't doubt you're right, but I swear I've seen written fluff on the Inquisition in this role. Perhaps there's bleed over. Maybe I'm mis-remembering my information too! Who knows. In any case, my point still stands. Albeit, somewhat more hole-full than earlier.

[NightrawenII]

Collecting psykers is the duty of Adeptus Astra Telepathica's League of Blackships.

 

Hmm, I always thought that the collection of rogue or unbound psykers was the Inquisitions job.

 

I don't doubt you're right, but I swear I've seen written fluff on the Inquisition in this role. Perhaps there's bleed over. Maybe I'm mis-remembering my information too! Who knows. In any case, my point still stands. Albeit, somewhat more hole-full than earlier.

The Black Ships belongs to Adeptus Astra Telepathica, has the garrison of Adepta Sororitas or Inquisitorial Storm Troopers and are overseen by the Inquisitors. Talk about tight security. :P