CKO Posted January 9, 2011 Share Posted January 9, 2011 1st I would like to thank you for reading and posting your comments. I paid good attention to those that left comments on the last thread and it helped me greatly, I am excited to see what you guys think. “There will be no words spoken, no greetings, no acknowledgement, no mission briefing the Undaunted Predators come for battle, they come to hunt.” Commander of 243 Cadian Regiment, Colonel Hiosew Origins The forces of Chaos were starting to win several battles around the Eye of Terror due to combat inefficiencies and increase activity. Tech Adepts believed that the region needed more Space Marine Chapters to counter the problem; the High Lords of Terra use this as one of several reasons to justify the 9th founding. The Undaunted Predators uses Rogal Dorn's geneseed and were part of the 9th founding. Needing the chapter to excel in close combat, Vanguard Veterans from the Iron Knight Chapter was selected to train the new Son’s of Dorn. The Veteran’s preference for close combat was passed on to the young marines and after initial scouting and recruiting the young chapter started to participate in small assaults around the Eye of Terror. The Undaunted Predators were very unlucky in their first missions as they found themselves fighting ex-legions such as the World Eaters, Death Guard, and Emperor’s Children. Suffering defeat after defeat the young Chapter turned to the Codex Astartes for tutelage, for decades the young marines experimented with several different battle doctrines with little success. Their luck did not change until the (x) Black Crusade where they learn invaluable experience by fighting along side other chapters. The young marines obtained all of the intangible traits that you must have to be a true marine by fighting back to back with their Parent Chapter. The Imperial Fist taught the Undaunted Predators that they carried inside of them the blood of Rogal Dorn and that they had the noble responsibility of representing him. Under the influence of the Imperial Fist the young marines fighting prowess increase drastically and shortly after the end of the war they became a full fledge Chapter and their first Chapter Master Chadius named the Chapter the Undaunted Predators, vowing to hunt down and kill all of the enemies of mankind, for Dorn. Once more thank you for reading. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/218983-undaunted-predators-v2/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightrawenII Posted January 9, 2011 Share Posted January 9, 2011 Vanguard Veterans from the Imperial Fist Chapter was selected to train the new Son’s of Dorn. ~ The Undaunted Predators were very unlucky in their first missions as they found themselves fighting foes such as the World Eaters, Death Guard, and Emperor’s Children. Suffering defeat after defeat the young Chapter turned to the Codex Astartes for tutelage, for decades the young marines experimented with several different battle doctrines with little success. ~ Fighting alongside other Chapters had a monumental effect on the Undaunted Predators. The young marines obtained all of the intangible traits that you must have to be a true marine by fighting back to back with their Parent Chapter. The Imperial Fist taught the Undaunted Predators that they carried inside of them the blood of Rogal Dorn and that they had the noble responsibility of representing him. Under the influence of the Imperial Fist the young marines fighting prowess increase drastically and shortly after the end of the war they became a full fledge Chapter and their first Chapter Master Chadius named the Chapter the Undaunted Predators, vowing to hunt down and kill all of the enemies of mankind, for Dorn. Errm, they are trained by the Imperial Fists and because of that they are continuously beaten like little girls. Nevertheless, after the encounter with the very source of the problem, the Imperial Fists, they learn secret (or for some strange reason previously not explained to them) magic-fu and became proficient at what they are doing. Hmmm... :cuss Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/218983-undaunted-predators-v2/#findComment-2611139 Share on other sites More sharing options...
CKO Posted January 9, 2011 Author Share Posted January 9, 2011 I understand you completely Nightrawen I changed the training chapter to the Iron Knights that should fix the problem, what do you think now? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/218983-undaunted-predators-v2/#findComment-2611205 Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightrawenII Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 I understand you completely Nightrawen I changed the training chapter to the Iron Knights that should fix the problem, what do you think now? And why do you think this should fix the problem? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/218983-undaunted-predators-v2/#findComment-2612148 Share on other sites More sharing options...
CKO Posted January 10, 2011 Author Share Posted January 10, 2011 I believe it fixes the problem because it makes it to where all of a sudden they are fighting with a 1st founding chapter, which in my mind all young Chapters looks up to their parent chapters and having that type of experience would motivate the young marines to do better. The reason for the failure is not from lack of ability but fighting directly before a Black Crusade and running into ex-legions. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/218983-undaunted-predators-v2/#findComment-2612250 Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightrawenII Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 It will motivate them, that's given. What impact it will have on the fighting prowess is another question. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/218983-undaunted-predators-v2/#findComment-2612417 Share on other sites More sharing options...
CKO Posted January 10, 2011 Author Share Posted January 10, 2011 I dont have to get that specific if you are more motivated you perform better. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/218983-undaunted-predators-v2/#findComment-2612692 Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightrawenII Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Or reckless, too eager to prove yourself worthy and in the turn dangerously overstrain yourself... Not every motivation is a good one. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/218983-undaunted-predators-v2/#findComment-2613201 Share on other sites More sharing options...
CKO Posted January 11, 2011 Author Share Posted January 11, 2011 Agreed, but in my text it clearly isnt use that way, and because of the lack of comments I believe most readers saw it my way aswell. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/218983-undaunted-predators-v2/#findComment-2614129 Share on other sites More sharing options...
lord draceus Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 Fighting alongside other Chapters had a monumental effect on the Undaunted Predators. The young marines obtained all of the intangible traits that you must have to be a true marine wait a minute so... they learned to be better marines by absorbing the personalities of OTHER marines? i`m a little confused here...and no i don`t see it your way Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/218983-undaunted-predators-v2/#findComment-2614259 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Juan Juarez Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 I dont have to get that specific if you are more motivated you perform better. Danger. Danger. Fallacy Will Robinson! In short, should the above not have hinted, no. Being motivated means that your performance is altered - not improved; I was angry that I couldn't make a putt on Tiger Woods 2011, later holes saw my performance alter as my anger rose - said performance was not for the better. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/218983-undaunted-predators-v2/#findComment-2614545 Share on other sites More sharing options...
CKO Posted January 12, 2011 Author Share Posted January 12, 2011 I think I understand the issue and I will make changes that will hopefully fix the problems that you guys are seeing. Thanks Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/218983-undaunted-predators-v2/#findComment-2615298 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chapter Master Ignis Domus Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 The forces of Chaos were starting to win several battles around the Eye of Terror due to combat inefficiencies and increase activity. Tech Adepts believed that the region needed more Space Marine Chapters to counter the problem; And why was it the Tech Adepts who figured this out? Surely it would be a military commander as opposed to an engineer? Needing the chapter to excel in close combat, Vanguard Veterans from the Iron Knight Chapter was selected to train the new Son’s of Dorn. They wouldn't just send Vanguard. After all, while a chapter can have a focus, it should still be well-versed in all methods war. Plus, you'd need the various support personnel to train new Librarians, Techmarines, Chaplains, etc. The Undaunted Predators were very unlucky in their first missions as they found themselves fighting ex-legions such as the World Eaters, Death Guard, and Emperor’s Children. Suffering defeat after defeat the young Chapter turned to the Codex Astartes for tutelage, for decades the young marines experimented with several different battle doctrines with little success. Their luck did not change until the (x) Black Crusade where they learn invaluable experience by fighting along side other chapters. The young marines obtained all of the intangible traits that you must have to be a true marine by fighting back to back with their Parent Chapter. The Imperial Fist taught the Undaunted Predators that they carried inside of them the blood of Rogal Dorn and that they had the noble responsibility of representing him. Under the influence of the Imperial Fist the young marines fighting prowess increase drastically and shortly after the end of the war they became a full fledge Chapter and their first Chapter Master Chadius named the Chapter the Undaunted Predators, vowing to hunt down and kill all of the enemies of mankind, for Dorn. So the Iron Knights are worthless wimps? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/218983-undaunted-predators-v2/#findComment-2615321 Share on other sites More sharing options...
CKO Posted January 13, 2011 Author Share Posted January 13, 2011 Chapter Master Ignis I didnt quite realize how little I was giving the reader until your post, I will have to add more to those particular sections aswell. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/218983-undaunted-predators-v2/#findComment-2615513 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chapter Master Ignis Domus Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 What do you mean? Excuse my lack of cranial function. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/218983-undaunted-predators-v2/#findComment-2615514 Share on other sites More sharing options...
CKO Posted January 13, 2011 Author Share Posted January 13, 2011 No problem, I can make it to were more than just the Adepts notice the difference, other members of the training cadre should be mentioned, and find a way to take the blame off of the Iron Knights. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/218983-undaunted-predators-v2/#findComment-2615531 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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