Sons of Deliverance

[seaglen]

Ok, here is the details of my DIY chapter, the Sons of Deliverance.

Any feedback and criticisms are appreciated!

"They wear their honours like fancies to be placed in museums! We Sons of Deliverance do not need conformation of our might. -Chapter master Cerrivus, commenting on the self glorification of certain Astartes chapters.

Founding Chapter: Raven Guard.

Founding: 23rd founding in M38.

Estimated strength: 500~ Marines.

Current chapter Master: Chapter Master Cerrivus.

Homeworld: Fleet based (formerly Lenore IV), segmentum tempestus.

The Sons of Deliverance were granted the Planet Lenore IV for their homeworld and fortress-monestary. A large planet, and fourth in the Lenore system, Lenore IV had a stable atmosphere. Lenore IV had a large area of desert and ash wastes, in which the Sons of Deliverance would train initiates. It is said that the white ash of Lenore IV is marked on the faces of all the chapters astartes for life (However, the truth to this is due to the malfunction of the mucranoid gland inherited from Corax). Human life was not present on Lenore IV before the Sons of Deliverance made claim. This was due to other more prosperous civilised worlds in the system (Lucia, Arbolis and Cathar). Populace from these worlds are characteristically stoic, hardy people, with dedication to a simple life and persuit of happiness through hard work. Outside of many cities, small villages still prosper in arid areas, and the most hardy are taken for recruitment. Situated in the eastern area of the Segmentum Tempestus, the Lenore system shares borders with other areas rich in imperial activity. However, Xenos threats are present throughout the system, with ork invasions being the most common. Eldar fleets have been also known to be active in the system.

Currently, the planet of Lenore IV is no longer active, without atmosphere, and essentially a dead ball of rock. This is due to a large tyranid invasion that swept life from the majority of the system. All marines of the Sons of Deliverance are told this tragic tale, and mourne the loss of their rightfull homeworld.

http://spaceflightnow.com/news/n0601/25planet/planet.jpg

Lenore IV

Fortress-Monastery: Battle barge "Noctis Militis".

The ancient battle barge "Noctis Militis" is currently used by the chapter master as base of operations and fortress monastery. Being of ancient design, the battle barge can hold the entire chapter if needed, and hosts a multitude of weaponary. Tech adepts from the system of Lenore maintain this vessel in the orbital docks of Arbolis, the systems forge world.

Main Colors: Charcoal grey, black and white.

Chapter badge: White raven on grey background.

Combat doctrine and organisation: Coordinated tactical strikes, mobile suppression. Preferance for plasma weaponary.

Due to the limited number of marines that the chapter currently posseses (along with the absence of five companies) the Sons of Deliverance attempt to follow the Codex astartes as best they can. However, they have been noted to show a talent for independence in individual squads and companies. This is mainly due to the fact that companies may be seperated from higher command structures for extended periods of time. Relying on tactical squads, razorbacks and rhinos and using supresion vehicles such as vindicators is commonplace. Sons of Deliverance marines advance and retreat with equal measure, taking up tactical positions and keeping squads mobile throughout a warzone. This has lead to other chapters branding the Sons as cowards or over cautious when it comes to war. Contrary to other Raven Guard succesors, the Sons of Deliverance do not favour precise assaults and the use of jump packs and fast attack choices. History in warfare with orks and eldar has shaped the chapter into a much more stoic and reserved fighting force, with a disdain for rash decisions and lightning attacks. Assault squads are a rare sight on the battlefield, and land speeders are the only peferred method of fast attack, providing support roles and suppression.

With regards to armament, the Sons of Deliverance make use of varied types of power armour, with many being customised over time by either the wearer or chapter surfs and armourers. The Chapter itself has little access to Mk.VIII armour, and rarely is seen sporting traditional Mk.VII armour also. Many marines have undergone long periods of time in warzones and have had to customise parts and use older power armour varients. The chapter does not hold suits of tactical dreadnought armour within its first company due to them being lost, and the use of these suits does not fall into the tactical preferance of the chapter. Plasma weaponary is a common sight in the chapter with Arbolis providing much of this.

Beliefs:

Concerning humanity, the Sons of Deliverance show a very compasionate approach, never wishing to spill human blood if it can be avoided. The chapter watches over several civilised worlds in its home system, and has aslo benefited from imperial guard pressence nearby. Following the return to the system after the tyranid attack, the chapter has felt ashamed for its cowardice and has adopted a penitent outlook. Many in the chapter believe that they owe humanity recompence for abandoning them in a time of need, effectivley foresaking the vows to be humankinds protectors. Chaplains in the chapter are very respected, and maintain a close relationship with squads and leaders alike.

The primarch Corax is revered throughout the chapter as the father of the chapter, and the Emperor is similarly praised.

Beliefs on the battelfield are similalrly important to the chapter, with armour and weapons being revered as instruments of the will of the Emperor and Corax. Unlike some of the more flamboyant chapters, Sons of Deliverance rarely decorate their wargear unecissaily, and maintain a very unapporving look on personal pride and glorification. The average marine believes that his armour is sacred as an instrument the way it was made, and not as a relic or an ornamant. Disdain for self importance is sown deep in the hearts of most warriors, and promotion in rank is believed to come from modesty and dedication to service rather than hunting for glory.

Geneseed:

The geneseed of the chapter comes from Corax of the Raven Guard. As such the missing muchranoid gland bleaches the marines skin to a deathly pale. No instability has been noted in the history of the chapter, and the apothecaries maintain a close vigil. Librarians are a rare sight in the chapter, with only a handful of marines maintaining the Libraium. This reason for this has never been asscertained, but some apothecaries theroise that the geneseed may reject initiates that show psychic ability.

Battle Cries:

-Chaplain: "Strike for the Fallen! Strike for Deliverance!"

- Squad leaders: "Respite, and forget this lost Lenore!"

Timeline of the chapter:

013.M38: The founding of the Sons of Deliverance was issued by the High Lords of Terra, and their homeworld of Lenore IV was granted to them by the planetary govenor of the Lenore system in the Segmentum Tempestus. Chapter master Liass is appointed first chapter master.

406.M38: Four centuries of standard service, defence and recon missions sees the chapter increase in potential, with great signs of independance and pragmatism being noted.

475.M38: Large Ork insurgeance in the sector is repelled successfully. Chapter master Liass awarded honours by imperial governors for his tactical undertaking. During the end of the campaign, however, he is killed in action and replaced by Peorell.

601.M38: Tithing and resources normally reserved for the chapter are reduced dramatically following further ork attacks in the sector. Sons of deliverance gifted the battle barge "Noctis Militis" for their unrelenting purging of the orks.

672.M38: Chapter master Peorell is slain during a boarding action against a nearby Eldar fleet. Known from then on as Peorell "wane-wing" for his short life in command of the chapter. The mantle of command is taken up by El-Alged, who immediately sets out to cleanse Eldar from nearby systems.

721.M38: Yet more ork outbursts in the system of Lenore cause El-Alged to divide much of the chapters strength, sperating many companies for long periods of time, as they embark on separate campaigns and defence of Lenore.

919.M38: El-Alged injured in action, and with the aid of apothecaries and techmarines, is entombed within a dreadnought, thus becomming the first and only ancient of the chapter. Ancient Alged helps guide the new chapter master, Kadrin for many years before entering a state of sleep.

946.M38: Following a rash and unplanned boarding action against an eldar shadowhunter escort, the majority of the chapters tactical dreadnought armour is lost when the eldar destroy their own vessel. Hatred for the Eldar manifests itself in the hearts of many brothers of the chapter.

001.M39: Chapter master Kadrin redeploys the 3rd and 5th company to help repell Abaddons 10th black crusade. However, both companies arrive later than needed.

047.M39: 3rd company engages with Iron Warriors legion, and is forced to withdraw, suffering heavy losses.

053.M39: 5th company respond to 3rd companies aid, and defeat the Iron Warriors. Due to lack of armament, the two companies are forced to make use of Iron Warriors discarded armour. Preiviously recalled plasma weaponary is supplied to the chapter as a last resort.

122.M39: Kadrin withdrawls from a battle against xenos, earning him the title of Kadrin "the cautious" by the supporting Marines Exemplar force. Chapter master Kadrin takes these words as an insult.

285.M39: 4th, 5th and 6th companies are sent to aid the Celestial Lions chapter engaged in war against the orks. Final battles ensue within the walls of a great hive city on the systems primary world. Following the victory, a ritualistic feast between the two chapters is held. The "Lions roar and ravens claw" monument is constructed at the centre of the hive in honour of both chapters.

604.M39: Following the slight of his name, Kadrin pushes forwards against Eldar in the nearby systems without pause, stretching his fleets and testing his marines to the limits.

He is eventually killed in action, and the chapter left without a master for several years.

614.M39: Chapter master Tarell is elected to lead. Following replenishment of the chapter, ongoing campaigns are fought alongside the Spartans of Redemption, Iron Snakes and Red Templars chapters.

301.M40: Lenore system is constantly attacked and aggrovated by Eldar for years. Imperial guard are sent to destroy the craftworld, but never return. Fully 5 companies of Sons of Deliverance are sent to put a stop to the Eldar once and for all.

316.M40: Companies sent to destroy the Eldar encounter little resistance, and push further into previously Eldar controlled space.

331.M40: Disaster befalls the chapter in the form of a tyranid hive fleet. Eldar have been found to have left the system decades ago, leading the Sons of Deliverance into a head on collision with the fleet. Nearly 5 companies are destroyed, with the remainder of the 1st company escaping on the "Noctis Militis", with the hive fleet still on course for the Lenore sector. Tarells body is never recovered. Withdrawl to Lenore and preperation for invasion follows.

357.M40: The swiftly appointed new chapter master Cordanus initiates a highly controversial order. Taking the "Noctis Militis" along with the remainder of the chapter fleet, he abandons the system in the hope to redeploy and counter attack the tyranid infestation once help from the neighbouring Spartans of Retribution chapter arrives.

364.M40: Messages from the Spartans of Retribution state that they are previously engaged. No help is sent.

366.M40: The hive fleet consumes the system of Lenore, including the chapters homeworld, leaving them under-manned, under-supplied and without a stable income of recruits.

369.M40: Cordanus begins to rebuild his chapter, but is constantly hard pressed due to ongoing encounters and campaigns. The Lenore system is left for dead. Campaigns are continued in the surrounding systems.

392.M40: Imperial navy eventually quash the tyranid insurgence, with heavy losses to the entire Lenore systems defences. Cordanus is called to trial by the Spatans of Retribution chapter of space marines, with charges of cowardice and neglect of the system. He is never heard of again.

427.M40: The Imperium finally return to the Lenore system and begin the long, hard task of re-colonising the lost worlds. Constant aggrovation by xenos slows the progress. Cities are established on Lucia and Arbolis. Lenore is left as a reminder of the chapters failure.

512.M40: The chapter eventually returns to the Lenore system, shamed and angered at their failure. Years of re-establishment of settlements and re-colonisation takes place in the Lenore system.

337.M41: Companies are fielded very sparsely over the following years, whilst the populations of Lenore recover from the ravages of the Tyranids. "Noctis Militis" is retired from service, pending repairs. 5th company and 4th company are sent to aid the Celestial Lions chapter.

341.M41: Inquisitorial authorities redirect those companies aiding the Celestial Lions back to the system of Lenore, without reason.

403.M41: As the populations of the systems planets begin to recover, signs of unrest apear throughout several of the systems hive cities.

411.M41: Revolution on the planet of Lucia, the systems second largest colonised world, causes the intervention of the Sons of Deliverance chapter. More than sixteen cities are razed to the ground.

444.M41: Following the destruction of the population of Lucia, Sons of Deliverance are unable to aid in the first Armageddon war.

504.M41: Administratum officials arrive with intentions of re colonising the systems namesake planet of Lenore. After many months of debates with the adeptus astartes of the Sons of Deliverance, the planet is left as a dead world.

647.M41: The systems worlds of Lucia and Arbolis eventually become stable, and provide recruits for the chapter once more.

728.M41: Adeptus Mechanicus adepts claim stake of the planet of Arbolis. The entire population of 3 billion is evicted and transported to the neighbouring world of Cathar.

793.M41: Arbolis is fnally transformed into a forge world, with adepts arriving from Mars on a daily basis.

801.M41: Due to the astronomican flickering, hundreds of mechanicum ships destined for Arbolis are lost or destroyed in the warp. 6th and 7th companies fleets are also damaged.

822.M41: Chapter Master Cerrivus takes the mantle of control and immediately recalls all Sons of Deliverance companies from ongoing campaigns. After several months, the chapter finds itself at a new position of strength, with almost 5 companies opperational (1st, 2nd, 4th, 5th, 9th).

836.M41: After agreements are made with Forge world Arbolis, the mechanicum provide much of the chapters armoury from the world. Arbolis becomes focused on plasma weaponary maintenance and control.

852.M41: The now ancient battle barge, "Noctis Militis" is returned to the chapter, following recovery and repairs by the adepts on Arbolis. Cerrivus takes control of the ship with pride, and formally thanks the mechanicum of Arbolis for their years of dedication.

860.M41: Cerrivus begins the cleansing of the Lenore system once more, and takes an oath of moment that he will not rest untill the system is under full control of the Imperium and no threats haunt its populace. All the chapters strength is sent on varied campaigns in and around the system.

972.M41: Both worlds of Cathar and Lucia are classed as stable and safe, due to intervention by the 5th company.

977.M41: Brother Captain Pallas is regognised as an influential tactician and is promoted to captain of the 5th company by Cerrivus. The strike cruiser "Bleak December" is placed under his control.

981.M41: Chapter master Cerrivus takes 1st, 2nd and 4th companies on a crusade of the systems outer planets, using the relic battle barge "Noctis Militis" once more as the chapters fortress monestary.

998.M41: Yet more Ork outbreaks on Lucia focus the concern of the imperial navy and guard regiments in the area.

011.M42: Magos Larrius, a promising adept of the mechanicum, begins his study of plasma cores on forge world Arbolis.

052.M42: The imperial govenor of Lucia seeks aid from the Sons of Deliverance, with a swift reply coming from Pallas and 5th company.

150.052.M42: "Bleak December" arrives in the sector, finding that the uprising of greenskins has escalated into a large insurgeance of orks on the surface of Lucia. The imperial govenor is found holding the last hive city from greenskin invasion. Warboss Gitburna claims to be in control of the planet, and a full scale Waaaagh is launched.

520.052.M42: 5th company eventually make orbit around Lucia, and is immediately attacked by crude planitary defence lasers set up by the now dominant orks. Precice bombardments and drop pod deployment by Pallas erradicates these defences. The "Bleak December" holds the surrounding space confidently.

611.052.M42: Magos Larrius and a team of adepts remove a predator tank from the service of the 5th company. Pallas happily complies with this, following debates with the mechanicum.

010.053.M42: Inquisitor Drachtenburg along with his retinue arrive in the Lenore system. Drachtenburgs personal ship docks in the orbit of the planet Lenore for unknown reasons.

225.053.M42: Larrius and Sons of Deliverance techmarines arrive in Lucias orbit and return the absent predator tank to 5th company. Radical changes to the tank have been made by Larrius, with the vehicle now sporting large plasma weaponary on both turret and sponsons. Larrius renames the machine "unmerciful disaster" and swiftly leaves back to Arbolis, leaving techmarine Arkus of 5th company in charge of the predators maintanence.

250.053.M42: On route back to Arbolis, Larrius is called into the service of Inquisitor Drachtenburg, and never sees Arbolis again.

884.053.M42: Waaaagh! Gitburna continues to threaten the planet of Lucia. Captain Pallas redeploys marines to the surface, and an ongoing struggle for control of the planet ensues.

054.M42: 5th company struggle with the orks for several months, loosing astartes to the limitless numbers of orks.

720.054.M42: Captain Pallas calls for aid in the now full-scale war affecting Lucia. Spartans of Retribution marines from none other than 1st company answer the call. Imperial Guard of the Lucian 107th cataprachts are also deployed.

055.M42: 5th company of the Sons of deliverance chapter and Spartans of Retribution 1st company engaged in the continuing war with greenskins of Waaagh! Gitburna, gradually pushing the orks back and fighting over the arid world of Lucia. Chapter Master Cerrivus aknoledges the conflict, but is confident in Pallas abilities as a commander. Cerrivus continues his purge of the outer planets with the remaining companies.

[ringlancer]

<cue banjos>

[seaglen]

banjos? sorry, i dont follow you.

[ringlancer]

There is a movie called Deliverance. It is about four friends who decide to raft down a river before a dam is built and floods the palce. There is a famous banjo scene playing Dueling Banjos. One of the more memorable moments in the film is when the friends are cornered by depraved Hillbillies who try to force John Voight to perform Oral sex on one of them (unsuccessful) while another beats Ned Beatty over a log (successfully).

 

So...

 

having Deliverance in your chapter name might not always conjer up the images you desire...

 

...unless this is a traitor chapte following slaanesh and are populated by depraved hillbillies.....

[Warsmith Aznable]

The timeline is overwhelming. It's just so much of the IA. I would scale that back a lot, and flesh out the "who they are" and "why they are" instead.

[seaglen]

ringlancer: ah of course!

 

yes that is a bit disturbing. the namesake comes from the homeworld of the raven guard, much like sons of medusa.

 

Max: yes you do have a point. I wanted to include events for the chapter from their founding up until present day. relitively speaking, the chapter is still quite young, being one of the latter foundings. The detail is included because some of the background includes my friends armies (spartans of retribution) along with my Ork army and my 54mm inquisitor characters (drachtenburg and magos Larrius).

 

You do have a very good point about detailing the who they are part. I will try to write some facts about their beleifs, doctrines etc.

[Warsmith Aznable]

Max: yes you do have a point. I wanted to include events for the chapter from their founding up until present day. relitively speaking, the chapter is still quite young, being one of the latter foundings. The detail is included because some of the background includes my friends armies (spartans of retribution) along with my Ork army and my 54mm inquisitor characters (drachtenburg and magos Larrius).

 

You do have a very good point about detailing the who they are part. I will try to write some facts about their beleifs, doctrines etc.

 

 

In a 2,056 word IA entry 1,987 words are your timeline. That's a HUGE ratio. The IA should primarily be about their beliefs and doctrines, what makes them different from every other Space Marine chapter out there. The why we would want to read about them as opposed to any other run-of-the-mill Space Marine chapter.

 

Check out Octavulg's Guide to DIY chapter creation. It's a sticky at the top of this thread. There is also a post (that you can find linked in said Octaguide) which talks about B&C forum code for formatting an IA. Also in the stickies up there is a thread with links to IA articles successfully added to the B&C Librarium archives. Reading through some of those would be good to get an idea what you should be going for, alongside the Octaguide advice.

 

And good luck. I've been beating my own IA like a dead horse for a couple months. Peer review can be a painful process sometimes, but it really does help to refine good ideas into great ones.

[seaglen]

thanks for the feedback and advice!

 

just found that sticky, and am currently adding more depth (bit by bit) to the original post regarding the details of chapter organisation, beleifs and descritpions of the homeworlds.

 

comments are always welcome as i keep updating!

[Captain Juan Juarez]

...(formerly Lenore)...

 

Thank you for smacking me in the face with the Edgar Allen Poe Stick^TM.

[NightrawenII]

A large planet, and fourth in the Lenore system, Lenore had vast quantities of iron, as well as a stable atmosphere.

- As a matter of naming conventions, there will be "IV" added to name of planet.

 

A large planet, and fourth in the Lenore system, Lenore had vast quantities of iron, as well as a stable atmosphere. However, human life was not present before the Sons of Deliverance made claim. This was due to other more prosperous hive worlds in the system (Lucia, Arbolis and Cathar).

- Doesn't make sense, if there are rich deposits of iron, someone will sooner than later begin with mining operations.

 

However, Xenos threats are present throughout the system, with ork uprisings being the most common. Eldar fleets have been also known to be active in the system.

- Ork invasions or Waaagh!, using word "uprising" is out of place.

 

Tech adepts from the system of Lenore maintain this vessel in the orbital docks of Arbols, the systems forge world.

- Why?

[seaglen]

A large planet, and fourth in the Lenore system, Lenore had vast quantities of iron, as well as a stable atmosphere.

- As a matter of naming conventions, there will be "IV" added to name of planet.

Ah yes, that will be changed. thank you.

 

A large planet, and fourth in the Lenore system, Lenore had vast quantities of iron, as well as a stable atmosphere. However, human life was not present before the Sons of Deliverance made claim. This was due to other more prosperous hive worlds in the system (Lucia, Arbolis and Cathar).

- Doesn't make sense, if there are rich deposits of iron, someone will sooner than later begin with mining operations.

Very good point. any suggestions as to why the planet would be an empty world before the chapter began using it?

 

However, Xenos threats are present throughout the system, with ork uprisings being the most common. Eldar fleets have been also known to be active in the system.

- Ork invasions or Waaagh!, using word "uprising" is out of place.

noted. many thanks.

 

Tech adepts from the system of Lenore maintain this vessel in the orbital docks of Arbols, the systems forge world.

- Why?

ha, im not really sure. is it normally the mechanicus that helps maintains astartes ships, or the imperial navey? or their own force of techmarines and surfs?

[Chapter Master Ignis Domus]

The Sons of Deliverance were granted the Planet Lenore IV for their homeworld and fortress-monestary. A large planet, and fourth in the Lenore system, Lenore IV had vast quantities of iron, as well as a stable atmosphere. However, human life was not present before the Sons of Deliverance made claim. This was due to other more prosperous hive worlds in the system (Lucia, Arbolis and Cathar). Populace from these hive worlds are characteristically stoic, hardy people, with dedication to a simple life and persuit of happiness through hard work. outside of many hive cities, small villages still prosper in arid areas, and the most hardy are taken for recruitment. Situated in the eastern area of the Segmentum Tempestus, Lenore IV shares borders with other systems rich in imperial activity. However, Xenos threats are present throughout the system, with ork invasions being the most common. Eldar fleets have been also known to be active in the system.

 

Quick Note: System means they share a sun.

 

The Planet itself had a large area of desert and ash wastes, in which the Sons of Deliverance would train innitiates. It is said that the white ash of Lenore IV is marked on the faces of all the chapters astartes for life (However, the truth to this is due to the malfunction of the mucranoid gland inherited from Corax).

 

Innitiates is spelled "initiates".

 

Currently, the planet is no longer active, without atmosphere, and essentially a dead ball of rock. This is due to a large tyranid invasion that swept life from the majority of the system. All marines of the Sons of Deliverance are told this tragic tale, and mourne the loss of their rightfull homeworld.

 

Please tell us more, this is major event in the chapter's history. Also, why aren't they all dead, then?

 

 

The ancient battle barge "Noctis Militis" is currently used by the chapter master as base of opperations and fortress monestaey. being of ancient design, the battle barge can hold the entire chapter if needed, and hosts a multitude of weaponary. Tech adepts from the system of Lenore maintain this vessel in the orbital docks of Arbols, the systems forge world.

 

Opperations= Operations. Monestaey= Monastery. If the system was eaten by Tyranids, how come there's a Forge World. Also, this brings the worlds in this system to two Hive Worlds, a Chapter home, and a Forge World. This seems unlikely to say the least, especially considering there are only 32,380 Hive Worlds in the galaxy, according to the Hardcover rulebook.

 

Battle Cries:

-Strike for the Fallen! Strike for Deliverance!

-Respite, and forget this lost Lenore!

 

Edgar lives! :)

 

Final note: Try to expand more on the chapter and have less time line. It tends to intimidate the reader.

[seaglen]

many thanks Chapter Master Ignis Domus.

 

to answer your questions:

 

sorry, i think my wording is unclear as to the use of system. i will rectify that.

 

the tyranid invasion is covered in the (intimidating) timeline. the chapter is not dead as they organised a full retreat from the area. after the tryanids were quelled, imperial re colonisation took place, and eventually the chapter returned (albeit with its head hung low).

 

the forge world was also set up after the tyranid attacks. i see your point about the amount of worlds in the system. I had no idea that there were so few hive worlds in exsistence! maybe i will sorten the list to just one hive world. What other planet classes are there that support human settlements? do they have a name? (for example, what would present day earth be classed as?)

 

as for expanding the chapter, I am currently doing this. Hopefully I can add more to the depth of the chapter and the system, to equal out the monstrous timeline It has!

 

please feel free to tear this DIY chapter apart. I would rather have it making sense and being in line with the fluff! many thanks!

[Chapter Master Ignis Domus]

the tyranid invasion is covered in the (intimidating) timeline. the chapter is not dead as they organised a full retreat from the area. after the tryanids were quelled, imperial re colonisation took place, and eventually the chapter returned (albeit with its head hung low).

 

Alright, I think I understand now.

 

the forge world was also set up after the tyranid attacks. i see your point about the amount of worlds in the system. I had no idea that there were so few hive worlds in exsistence! maybe i will sorten the list to just one hive world. What other planet classes are there that support human settlements? do they have a name? (for example, what would present day earth be classed as?)

 

There are Penal Worlds, which are prison planets, hive worlds, which are incredibly overpopulated and polluted planets, Forge Worlds, the Adeptus Mechanicus manufacturing and research planets, mining worlds, which are mining worlds :rolleyes: , uninhabited systems, once again obvious, Agri worlds, which are farming worlds, and civilised worlds, which make up the majority of the worlds in existence. Most systems only have around one or two inhabited worlds.

[seaglen]

ah many thanks! I will change this shortly to the system having no hive worlds, and the two civilised worlds. and may change the Arbolis world to an agri one also.

[Blacklight]

I didn't read the entire thing, but in contrast to what was said above, I love the timeline. My plan is to eventually work one into my Chapter, as it really does aid in giving details that would otherwise be skimmed over in the IA. Now, don't get me wrong, it IS too long for an IA - IA is a summary of the Chapter, not a Codex. That being said, don't scrap it. If you have that much history on them, you could very easily finish your IA and decide to make a full on Codex for them like I plan to mine. In the Codex your timeline will be of definite help.

[seaglen]

thanks for the feedback Blacklight.

 

yes, agreed that the timeline is far too big for an IA. I am planning to write quite an extensive background to this chapter, including pictures and maps of worlds, characters and squad leaders from 5th company especially (they are my WIP tabletop army) and details about the current campaign they are fighting with the orks.

 

Is this ok to post all of this here, even if it is too big for an IA?

[seaglen]

updated the combat doctrines, beliefs and homeworld sections.

[Blacklight]

I'm relatively new so I don't know for sure, but I don't see why it would hurt. Though the common format for the Librarium is an IA, but the forum itself is dedicated to custom DIY chapters so it would seem to me you can post it however you like in order to get feedback. In order to get into the Librarium though it would need to be in an IA format.

[Chapter Master Ignis Domus]

I'm fine with giving you advice no matter what format it's in. You could even write an epic in the shape of the chapter symbol if you wanted.

[seaglen]

aha thank you.

ok, more updates have been added, including a pic. What else is missing from this, to make it into an IA?

[Blacklight]

I'm fine with giving you advice no matter what format it's in. You could even write an epic in the shape of the chapter symbol if you wanted.

 

+10 zing to whoever actually does this.

 

And if you want to see some well done IAs in the standard format check out the stickied thread here: Liber Honouros Index

[seaglen]

ah thanks for that link. yes i am hoping to do something similar to those liber honouros ones, with details on homeworlds, pictures of notable characters etc.

 

how do you get into the liber honouros?

 

do you have to submit it somewhere?

[seaglen]

Concerning humanity, the Sons of Deliverance show a very compasionate approach, never wishing to spill human blood if it can be avoided.

 

411.M41: Revolution on the planet of Lucia, the systems second largest colonised world, causes the intervention of the Sons of Deliverance chapter. More than sixteen cities are razed to the ground.

 

 

oops. it appears i may have contradicted myself here. maybe i will have to change the outlook of the chapter on humanity to a more distanced one. Any ideas on this?

 

I am now thinking something along the line of the chapter maintaining a vigil on the system, with contact only being made for recruitment, and to maintain a watch on the populace. However, this poses the question as to how this may affect the beliefs of the chapter and the closeness thay feel with thier homeworld.

 

please feel free to comment more. I have added bits into the original post also.

many thanks.

[seaglen]

any more feedback from you lovely members?