haunted by daemons

[The Shiny One]

This is a ruff draft on the concept for a chapter that is haunted by daemons.

 

Here are some names I came up, but cant diside on:

Blazing Beasts, Blazing Blades, Brazen Beasts, Blazing Angel, Bestial Angels Angel Beasts,Angels Beast, Bestial Cherubim, Blazing Cherubim, Blazing Angels. Angelic Beasts. Cherubic Beasts. (Angels seem fitting to create some irony)

 

And now for the Story itself:

 

Origins:

21st Founding (going for the mysterious curse) or just the 17th to keep it simple.

They are founded to secure the worlds surrounding the maelstrom from the dangers that surround it and to condem the influence the open gate into the warp has on the worlds, therefor mostly fighting heretic cults, pirates and Chaos Marines.

 

Homeworld:

Rratheria, Ultima Segmentum, near the maelstrom

Heavy changing weather and clime zones, effecting the landscape. The human inhabitants are nomadic hunters competing with the wildest beasts for the smaller animals that are able to adapt to the rapid changes.

There Fortress Monastery is placed at the south pole of the planet, the only stable place on Rratheria (Stable meaning ice cold with no life). Complitly out of reach for the inhabitants.

 

Combat Doctrine

They like to adept to the enemy, grow with there enemy. Not striking first, is not seen as a disadvantage if the situation demands it.

This is possibly because of there belief system and homeworld.

As they have never faced a real defeat in there rather short history there is nothing special to tell about battles, though maybe they were only blessed to battle only with inferior opponents.

 

Organisation

normal because they truly belief in the flexibility the codex provides.

 

 

Beliefs

They belief that its always possible to adept to the enemy.

Because of the chapters ever changing homeworld, which is recognized as a allegory on life itself.

They don't prefer a certain style of combat. The simply belief that the codex teaches this flexibility.

 

Geneseed

probably ultramarines.

Trained and given by the XX.

XX: Terror Titans, Thistle Titans, Red Rangers, Golden Fists, Titan Rangers, Tempest Titans, Typhoon Titans. Titan Shields, cant decide on a name here either.

 

 

 

 

The Fall (aka the hard part):

After the Training Cadre of the XX lief the chapter, there starts a suspicious uprising of daemons wherever they are. This phenomenon grows over time, climaxing in an invasion on there beloved homeworld. The Chapter is capable of securing there fortress monastery, but the population of Rratheria falls completely to the daemons.

Unable to explain this incidences the chapter turns to the Inquisition.

After an intensive investigation, the Ordo Malleus can't find a distinctive cause forcing the Ordo Heriticus and there own radical members to see the only resolution for this problem in the annihilation of the chapter and therefor command the Grey Knights to cleans the Planet.

 

 

The chaplains of the chapter propose to find salvation in a martyr crusade into the Maelstrom, truly beliefing that they are cursed and a danger to mankind.

The Librarians disagree because they belief that there must be a resolution somewhere.

(I dont know if a fight between the two fractions is necessary here or if the need to stick together to be able to survive better in the Maelstrom?)

 

So when finally the Grey Knight appear on Rratheria, they find the fortress empty of Marines and populated by Daemons. Leading them to the conclusion that the chapter must have been destroyed.

 

Unable to rely on the resources of the Ordo Malleus anymore the only starting point for there quest to a cure leads them to questioning of chaotic traitors (or should they start with the eldar?), which forces them deeper and deeper into the realm of chaos.

There ability to adapt to there surroundings keeps there concerns to use the corrupted weapons they gather over time down, while still fighting in the name of the Emperor.

More and more disappointed that there hart efforts and heavy loses over the time bear no fruits, the librarians start to turn to darker magic, which brings such great might that the daemons slowly start loosing there aggressiveness around them and evan beginning to show signs of fear, so there appearing around them seems somehow to fade.

Drunk by the power they achieve, they start opening to all kinds of gifts from chaos and becoming slowly able to ignore the daemons around them.

 

 

As an expedition into the warp is very hard to survive, I dont know if its a good think to split the chapter between the chaplains and the librarians. Originally i planned that the chaplains wood propose suicide, but than it seemed more logical for a marine to simply storm into the heart of the enemy.

 

Do you know any sources on such expeditions?

Is there anything in Codex Daemons about how the Maelstrom is constructed?

Would switching Maelstrom with the Eye of Terror be better?

Do you think it would be good to make the story a battle between Nurgle and Tzeentch, making the Daemons surround them only nurglings and plague bearers, so that they end up blessed by Tzeentch?

[seaglen]

As they have never faced a real defeat in there rather short history

 

Their history still spans hundreds of years. surely there was one defeat in this time? It may be an idea to invent a time of defeat. This makes the chapter more interesting and gives them more depth. Perhaps having a loss against eldar?

 

as for the names....

 

Seraphim of Fire

Angels incinerate

Flame Spectres

 

Storm Titans

Sheilds of Titan

Marines Tempest

[Leonaides]

this thread looks strangely familiar... Why start new one with only minor revisions in the central concept, and not address the issues already pointed out? Not saying you cant do it this way, but you run the risk of getting the same feedback as before but from different people.

[The Shiny One]

I started a new thread, because I decided to work on two variations and each one deserves a own one. And secondly I personally find it hard to enter threads that are to advanced. And thirdly more criticism is always welcome.

 

The other variation will not include daemons and will go more for a "search for knowledge theme" but end up quite the same. So there are no real similarities to discuss both chapters in on thread.

 

 

@ seaglen:

 

I only came up with the "no-defeat-thing", because it compliments the curse, so like every 21st founding chapter there is a positive side for the Chapter itself.

The intention for this was simply to create a scenario were the defeat of heretics with only a few casualties for the marines, would bringing daemons to the world that eventually will kill some of the "saved" population.

So like the Lamenters get freed of the red durst and rage, but get close to destruction for some unknown reason.

 

But I thought about a CSM antagonist (maybe World Bearers) to create more hate, if this gets included there will definitely a big defeat in the early history.

 

 

Does anyone have something on a crusade into the eye of terror or maelstrom, I know that some chapters like the brazen claws, relictors and 13th company have done something like it, but I never came across a story that would elaborate it?

[The Shiny One]

double post....

[seaglen]

ah ok, that makes sense.

 

perhaps including more detail on enemies would be good.

as for maelstom crusades, i cant really help with that one. you could always have the maelstrom spitting out nasties for them to defenc against, rather than them diving headlong into it.

[Chapter Master Ignis Domus]

Let the slaughter, erm, well-formed criticism begin! Heh heh. :o

Oh, and I recommend reading the Guide to DIYing.

This is a ruff draft on the concept for a chapter that is haunted by daemons.

 

This should be very interesting.

Couldn't resist

ruff 1 |rəf|

noun

1 a projecting starched frill worn around the neck, characteristic of Elizabethan and Jacobean costume.

ruff1 1

2 a projecting or conspicuously colored ring of feathers or hair around the neck of a bird or mammal.

3 ( pl. same or ruffs ) a northern Eurasian wading bird, the male of which has a large variously colored ruff and ear tufts in the breeding season, used in display. • Philomachus pugnax, family Scolopacidae; the female is called a reeve.

DERIVATIVES

ruffed adjective

rufflike |-ˌlīk| adjective

ORIGIN early 16th cent. (first used denoting a frill around a sleeve): probably from a variant of rough .

 

Origins:

21st Founding (going for the mysterious curse) or just the 17th to keep it simple.

They are founded to secure the worlds surrounding the maelstrom from the dangers that surround it and to condem the influence the open gate into the warp has on the worlds, therefor mostly fighting heretic cults, pirates and Chaos Marines.

 

Please, not another 21st Founding chapter. As much as it's cool, if you go through the Liber, almost every chapter is from either the 13th or 21st founding.

 

Homeworld:

Rratheria, Ultima Segmentum, near the maelstrom

Heavy changing weather and clime zones, effecting the landscape. The human inhabitants are nomadic hunters competing with the wildest beasts for the smaller animals that are able to adapt to the rapid changes.

There Fortress Monastery is placed at the south pole of the planet, the only stable place on Rratheria (Stable meaning ice cold with no life). Complitly out of reach for the inhabitants.

 

Sounds a lot like Fenris...

 

Combat Doctrine

They like to adept to the enemy, grow with there enemy. Not striking first, is not seen as a disadvantage if the situation demands it.

This is possibly because of there belief system and homeworld.

As they have never faced a real defeat in there rather short history there is nothing special to tell about battles, though maybe they were only blessed to battle only with inferior opponents.

 

One, no supermarines. All chapters have been badly defeated. Also, the "there is nothing special to tell" is the Mark of the Fifth Chaos God, Laziness. Surely you can think of something. It doesn't have to be very special at all, just tell it well.

 

Organisation

normal because they truly belief in the flexibility the codex provides.

 

Sign of the fifth God and everything. Even if they follow the codex, you can still talk about the character of each of the companies, sort of like how they talk about one of the Sallies companies, or the things about the Ultramarines companies in the fourth ed. Space Marine codices. You can also talk about titles of Captains and what their companies are like because of that.

 

Beliefs

They belief that its always possible to adept to the enemy.

Because of the chapters ever changing homeworld, which is recognized as a allegory on life itself.

They don't prefer a certain style of combat. The simply belief that the codex teaches this flexibility.

 

The Beliefs section from the Guide:

 

Beliefs

What comprises your Chapter's belief system?

Why does your Chapter hold these beliefs?

How have these beliefs affected your Chapter?

Every Chapter has their own belief system, an intricate web of ideals and attitudes that help define what your guys are about. The Marines Malevolent will happily butcher civilians if they won't fight for themselves - because they're effectively aiding the enemy. The Salamanders are seen as a relatively 'humanitarian' Chapter. The Dark Angels won't fight on the same battlefield as an Ogryn or a Ratling. This section could cover anything as diverse as your Chapter's most hated enemy to what they think of their Primarch and the Emperor Himself.

 

But where did your Chapter's belief system come from? Have they inherited their ideals from their parent-Chapter? Their homeworld? A particularly famous leader, a devastating encounter with an enemy, a vision from the Emperor? Who, if anyone, began these beliefs? Was it a gradual change, or a sudden change instigated by a singular individual?

 

Perhaps most importantly, how have these beliefs moulded your Chapter? Has the Chapter changed in other ways because of these beliefs? In this way the Combat Doctrine, Organisation and Beliefs section can sometimes intersect.

 

Geneseed

probably ultramarines.

Trained and given by the XX.

XX: Terror Titans, Thistle Titans, Red Rangers, Golden Fists, Titan Rangers, Tempest Titans, Typhoon Titans. Titan Shields, cant decide on a name here either.

 

By probably, do you mean you're thinking about what to do, or unknown? I hope it's the first one.

 

The Fall (aka the hard part):

After the Training Cadre of the XX lief the chapter, there starts a suspicious uprising of daemons wherever they are. This phenomenon grows over time, climaxing in an invasion on there beloved homeworld. The Chapter is capable of securing there fortress monastery, but the population of Rratheria falls completely to the daemons.

Unable to explain this incidences the chapter turns to the Inquisition.

After an intensive investigation, the Ordo Malleus can't find a distinctive cause forcing the Ordo Heriticus and there own radical members to see the only resolution for this problem in the annihilation of the chapter and therefor command the Grey Knights to cleans the Planet.

 

This doesn't seem like very good reason for them to be purged. Also, they would still stay with the Ordo Malleus, plus the Hereticus can't command the Grey Knights.

 

The chaplains of the chapter propose to find salvation in a martyr crusade into the Maelstrom, truly beliefing that they are cursed and a danger to mankind.

 

If they were about to be purged(which they aren't), the Inquisition would suspect they were running to join Chaos.

 

The Librarians disagree because they belief that there must be a resolution somewhere.

(I dont know if a fight between the two fractions is necessary here or if the need to stick together to be able to survive better in the Maelstrom?)

 

And if they were suspecting taint, the librarians would fall under the most suspicion.

 

So when finally the Grey Knight appear on Rratheria, they find the fortress empty of Marines and populated by Daemons. Leading them to the conclusion that the chapter must have been destroyed.

 

Or joined Chaos...

 

Unable to rely on the resources of the Ordo Malleus anymore the only starting point for there quest to a cure leads them to questioning of chaotic traitors (or should they start with the eldar?), which forces them deeper and deeper into the realm of chaos.

There ability to adapt to there surroundings keeps there concerns to use the corrupted weapons they gather over time down, while still fighting in the name of the Emperor.

More and more disappointed that there hart efforts and heavy loses over the time bear no fruits, the librarians start to turn to darker magic, which brings such great might that the daemons slowly start loosing there aggressiveness around them and evan beginning to show signs of fear, so there appearing around them seems somehow to fade.

Drunk by the power they achieve, they start opening to all kinds of gifts from chaos and becoming slowly able to ignore the daemons around them.

 

And the Librarians aren't being killed to death why?

 

As an expedition into the warp is very hard to survive, I dont know if its a good think to split the chapter between the chaplains and the librarians. Originally i planned that the chaplains wood propose suicide, but than it seemed more logical for a marine to simply storm into the heart of the enemy.

 

Second option.

 

Would switching Maelstrom with the Eye of Terror be better?

Do you think it would be good to make the story a battle between Nurgle and Tzeentch, making the Daemons surround them only nurglings and plague bearers, so that they end up blessed by Tzeentch?

 

1. No, the chapters defending it are well listed in the Codex.

2. What do you mean?

 

Sounds interesting, hope to see this develop. Sorry if my criticism sounds a bit harsh.

[Ferrata]

Not to be a self-promoting old fool, but my Wings of Death (see sig) have something similar in which daemons appear frequently where they are deployed.

 

You need to think of what their curse is and what their advantage is, personally I don't think it is enough to say "daemons appear, but they are dead good fighters." Maybe they are, unaware to themselves, tears in the Warp-Reality fabric, and each of them acts as a gateway from the warp. This could be linked to a feeling of emptiness inside of the marines which makes them quite shallow, mellow brothers. Their advantage could be that they seem to be able to guess what is about to happen, call it over-developed and highly accurate gut-feelings. This is because they are linked to the Warp were time runs a little different. This would help them be more able to gain victory than normal marines as they can guess when a person is going to stick their head around or corner, or when they are walking into a trap etc.

[The Shiny One]

First, thank you for your criticisme, its appreciated!

 

Let the slaughter, erm, well-formed criticism begin! Heh heh. :o

Oh, and I recommend reading the Guide to DIYing.

This is a ruff draft on the concept for a chapter that is haunted by daemons.

 

This should be very interesting.

Couldn't resist

ruff 1 |rəf|

noun

1 a projecting starched frill worn around the neck, characteristic of Elizabethan and Jacobean costume.

ruff1 1

2 a projecting or conspicuously colored ring of feathers or hair around the neck of a bird or mammal.

3 ( pl. same or ruffs ) a northern Eurasian wading bird, the male of which has a large variously colored ruff and ear tufts in the breeding season, used in display. • Philomachus pugnax, family Scolopacidae; the female is called a reeve.

DERIVATIVES

ruffed adjective

rufflike |-ˌlīk| adjective

ORIGIN early 16th cent. (first used denoting a frill around a sleeve): probably from a variant of rough .

 

rough is what I wanted to write...

 

Origins:

21st Founding (going for the mysterious curse) or just the 17th to keep it simple.

They are founded to secure the worlds surrounding the maelstrom from the dangers that surround it and to condem the influence the open gate into the warp has on the worlds, therefor mostly fighting heretic cults, pirates and Chaos Marines.

 

Please, not another 21st Founding chapter. As much as it's cool, if you go through the Liber, almost every chapter is from either the 13th or 21st founding.

 

I know why people here aren't fond of the 21st, but I only come across the White Hands (dont know if this is there correct name, the marines with visions)...

 

Homeworld:

Rratheria, Ultima Segmentum, near the maelstrom

Heavy changing weather and clime zones, effecting the landscape. The human inhabitants are nomadic hunters competing with the wildest beasts for the smaller animals that are able to adapt to the rapid changes.

There Fortress Monastery is placed at the south pole of the planet, the only stable place on Rratheria (Stable meaning ice cold with no life). Complitly out of reach for the inhabitants.

 

Sounds a lot like Fenris...

 

This was not intended, but I have to agree it is true.

 

Combat Doctrine

They like to adept to the enemy, grow with there enemy. Not striking first, is not seen as a disadvantage if the situation demands it.

This is possibly because of there belief system and homeworld.

As they have never faced a real defeat in there rather short history there is nothing special to tell about battles, though maybe they were only blessed to battle only with inferior opponents.

 

One, no supermarines. All chapters have been badly defeated. Also, the "there is nothing special to tell" is the Mark of the Fifth Chaos God, Laziness. Surely you can think of something. It doesn't have to be very special at all, just tell it well.

 

I though of the idea to make them worshipers of a minor chaos god, but than I couldn't come up with one. As I explained it was just a idea to compliment the curse.

 

Organisation

normal because they truly belief in the flexibility the codex provides.

 

Sign of the fifth God and everything. Even if they follow the codex, you can still talk about the character of each of the companies, sort of like how they talk about one of the Sallies companies, or the things about the Ultramarines companies in the fourth ed. Space Marine codices. You can also talk about titles of Captains and what their companies are like because of that.

 

Its not laziness just roughness :P

 

Beliefs

They belief that its always possible to adept to the enemy.

Because of the chapters ever changing homeworld, which is recognized as a allegory on life itself.

They don't prefer a certain style of combat. The simply belief that the codex teaches this flexibility.

 

The Beliefs section from the Guide:

 

Beliefs

What comprises your Chapter's belief system?

Why does your Chapter hold these beliefs?

How have these beliefs affected your Chapter?

Every Chapter has their own belief system, an intricate web of ideals and attitudes that help define what your guys are about. The Marines Malevolent will happily butcher civilians if they won't fight for themselves - because they're effectively aiding the enemy. The Salamanders are seen as a relatively 'humanitarian' Chapter. The Dark Angels won't fight on the same battlefield as an Ogryn or a Ratling. This section could cover anything as diverse as your Chapter's most hated enemy to what they think of their Primarch and the Emperor Himself.

 

But where did your Chapter's belief system come from? Have they inherited their ideals from their parent-Chapter? Their homeworld? A particularly famous leader, a devastating encounter with an enemy, a vision from the Emperor? Who, if anyone, began these beliefs? Was it a gradual change, or a sudden change instigated by a singular individual?

 

Perhaps most importantly, how have these beliefs moulded your Chapter? Has the Chapter changed in other ways because of these beliefs? In this way the Combat Doctrine, Organisation and Beliefs section can sometimes intersect.

 

Here I don't understand whats your critic. I wrote the 3 sentences as direct answers to the guide questions, sure its short, but as i stated its just rough and in no means fully elaborated. There Homeworld influences there interpretation of the codex.

 

Geneseed

probably ultramarines.

Trained and given by the XX.

XX: Terror Titans, Thistle Titans, Red Rangers, Golden Fists, Titan Rangers, Tempest Titans, Typhoon Titans. Titan Shields, cant decide on a name here either.

 

By probably, do you mean you're thinking about what to do, or unknown? I hope it's the first one.

 

Yeah its the first one.

 

The Fall (aka the hard part):

After the Training Cadre of the XX lief the chapter, there starts a suspicious uprising of daemons wherever they are. This phenomenon grows over time, climaxing in an invasion on there beloved homeworld. The Chapter is capable of securing there fortress monastery, but the population of Rratheria falls completely to the daemons.

Unable to explain this incidences the chapter turns to the Inquisition.

After an intensive investigation, the Ordo Malleus can't find a distinctive cause forcing the Ordo Heriticus and there own radical members to see the only resolution for this problem in the annihilation of the chapter and therefor command the Grey Knights to cleans the Planet.

 

This doesn't seem like very good reason for them to be purged. Also, they would still stay with the Ordo Malleus, plus the Hereticus can't command the Grey Knights.

 

I would imagen bringing daemons into the real world, would be a good reason to be purged. If not does anyone have a suggestion?

and I meant the radicals of the Ordo Hereticus and Malleus decided it together.

 

The chaplains of the chapter propose to find salvation in a martyr crusade into the Maelstrom, truly beliefing that they are cursed and a danger to mankind.

 

If they were about to be purged(which they aren't), the Inquisition would suspect they were running to join Chaos.

 

The Librarians disagree because they belief that there must be a resolution somewhere.

(I dont know if a fight between the two fractions is necessary here or if the need to stick together to be able to survive better in the Maelstrom?)

 

And if they were suspecting taint, the librarians would fall under the most suspicion.

 

So when finally the Grey Knight appear on Rratheria, they find the fortress empty of Marines and populated by Daemons. Leading them to the conclusion that the chapter must have been destroyed.

 

Or joined Chaos...

 

Unable to rely on the resources of the Ordo Malleus anymore the only starting point for there quest to a cure leads them to questioning of chaotic traitors (or should they start with the eldar?), which forces them deeper and deeper into the realm of chaos.

There ability to adapt to there surroundings keeps there concerns to use the corrupted weapons they gather over time down, while still fighting in the name of the Emperor.

More and more disappointed that there hart efforts and heavy loses over the time bear no fruits, the librarians start to turn to darker magic, which brings such great might that the daemons slowly start loosing there aggressiveness around them and evan beginning to show signs of fear, so there appearing around them seems somehow to fade.

Drunk by the power they achieve, they start opening to all kinds of gifts from chaos and becoming slowly able to ignore the daemons around them.

 

And the Librarians aren't being killed to death why?

 

Yeah I forgot about the psyker scapegoat. So this means there has to be a defined split in the chapter, but why would anybody stick with the librarians than?

I cant come up with anything right now, but without the Librarians it seems to me that the whole dark magic thing doesn't work.

Maybe the chapter could be extremely loyal to there brothers and therefor belief the psykers not to be guilty?

 

With the last question I meant, that the whole development of the chapter could be a scam of tzeentch to get powerful soldiers that fight nurgle for him.

 

@Ferrata:

Ow, I didn't know that, but will certainly have a look right away. And originally my intensions were to make them more like daemonhost, so that they become easily possessed and trap daemons, but people here convinced me that it wouldnt work like that.

[Ecritter]

I know why people here aren't fond of the 21st, but I only come across the White Hands (dont know if this is there correct name, the marines with visions)...

 

I'm lost. The White Hand are 19th Founding .... and visions?

[Captain Juan Juarez]

You need to think of what their curse is and what their advantage is, personally I don't think it is enough to say "daemons appear, but they are dead good fighters." Maybe they are, unaware to themselves, tears in the Warp-Reality fabric, and each of them acts as a gateway from the warp. This could be linked to a feeling of emptiness inside of the marines which makes them quite shallow, mellow brothers. Their advantage could be that they seem to be able to guess what is about to happen, call it over-developed and highly accurate gut-feelings. This is because they are linked to the Warp were time runs a little different. This would help them be more able to gain victory than normal marines as they can guess when a person is going to stick their head around or corner, or when they are walking into a trap etc.

 

I hate people like you.. Who can pick good ideas out of thin air :)

 

To build on Ferratas "tear in reality" idea; the emotions that each Marine feels in battle acts as a "Warp Beacon" which draws the Daemons through their "tear" and means that they appear whenever strong emotion is present.

 

This means you get the Daemons on the battlefield, but during "down time" they appear like any normal Space Marines.

[The Shiny One]

Sorry Ecritter, I meant Octavulg's Bronze Prophets. Must have read the IAs at the same time and somehow through the color scheme and your ghostlike hand symbole mixed up the two in my memory.

[Ecritter]

Sorry Ecritter, I meant Octavulg's Bronze Prophets. Must have read the IAs at the same time and somehow through the color scheme and your ghostlike hand symbole mixed up the two in my memory.

 

No problem, just had me confused. Hey, I'm just glad you read the White Hand. :)

[The Shiny One]

Now that I have read the Wings of Death IA, I am a little bit confused, as everything in that story was very vague about the reasons behind everything.

 

 

But coming back to my own chapter I more and more have to admit to myself that there is no good way to get the chapter were I want them, unless I make them just simple marines that want to become stronger. So I will put the haunted by daemons chapter aside and will try to go with something Captain JJ suggested in the other threat.

 

But thank you all for your help anyway. Perhaps when i have the chapter I want, I come back and will use this here to create a second on...