The Emperor's 9mm Uzis

[Donkey Kong]

The Emperor's 9mm Uzis

Fortress Monastery: The Crib

Gene-Seed: Ultramarines

Characters

MC (Master of the Chapter) Kay-9

Captain Fifty Throne

Captain Opdawg

Brother Amasec

Brother Bbox

Brother Mixalot

Brother Tabac

 

Successors: Space Dawgs

Founder: Brother Opdawg

Fortress Monastery: The Dawg House

 

Special Rules:

Street Rule #1: Everyone knows how to rap and rap battle in the presence of the Emperor's 9mm Uzis and the Space Dawgs.

 

Rap Battle of Delta Omega Tertiary

 

Rolling thunder rose over the horizon, raising clouds of dust into the sky, rivaling the hive they charged towards. Millions of trampling feet lay waste to the dead earth as a single war cry filled the air. The sea of monsters spilled out over the land in a green tide, and in their wake came wicked beasts and ramshackle machines. They crushed one another underfoot, Gretchin under the Orks, and Orks under the treads and feet of the behemoths that followed them.

 

The black clad warriors saw them coming from their perch. MC Kay-9 flashed a grin, revealing rows of gold, diamond studded teeth. A dozen of his brothers flanked him, and marched alongside him as he strode to meet the foe.

 

Before the Waaagh, MC Kay-9 raised his open hand. Warboss Rimegob stopped before the Astartes. All around him, Orks halted in confusion, and were immediately crushed by the Orks and machines behind them. Clouds of smoke, higher than the first towers created by the tide, rose behind the Warboss as his tanks crashed into one another, throwing debris and Orks into the air.

 

“Wots dis all about?” One of the larger xenos besides Rimegob pouted. Before anyone could answer, the Ork was ripped in half by Rimegob's powered claw. “I'ze da boss 'ere! Anyone else got any kwestions?” He demanded, stomping his armored boot and crushing an unfortunate Gretchin. Hearing none, the Ork turned back to Kay-9, “Wot's yoze lot want?”

 

MC Kay-9 eyeballed the Ork, a full head taller than him in their mega armor. “Talk is you got some talent.” The Warboss tilted his head, “Yea? Wots it ta youz?” Kay-9 laughed, throwing up a hand and pointing a thumb at his brother. “Yo, Bro Mixalot, gimmie a beat!” Obediently, Mixalot swung his turntables in front of him and began to scratch the two vinyl discs. Methodically, Kay-9 bobbed his head to the music, and began.

 

“I'm gonna smoke you,” his hands swung to indicate the Ork's army, “then I'll smoke some weeds. 'Cause all this world needs is a weed killa like me.” Kay-9 grinned, the reflected light shining into the Ork's face. Rimegob jerked his head away as Kay-9 turned his arms to indicate his brothers.

 

“Aight, aight, da boys and me are gonna treat ya right, gonna give a good swing, gonna give a good fight.” Kay-9 brought a hand up to his eyes, and pointed at the still present dust cloud with the other, “Yo, that look like Gork to you? That look like Mork to you? 'Cause it's gonna start a fight in your own damn crew!”

 

All around Orks turned to look at the cloud and picked sides, brawling with one another over which deity their charge created a homage to.

 

Kay-9 laughed, “Yo, yo, I know you're kinda slow, so take your best shot. Come at me bro!”

 

The Warboss roared over the noise of feuding Orks, “Oi! Dis is a Waaagh, good and proppa!” Mid combat, the Orks stopped, and returned their attention to the Warboss. Rimegob looked back down on MC Kay-9. Brother Mixalot waited for Rimegob to nod, and continued to scratch.

 

“Oi, lookit dis, youze gotta lotta boyz,” The Warboss broke into condesending laughter “ha, ha, ha, but I'ze gotta lot more. A 'fousand 'lil gitz soundz piss poor. Yer teef are shiny, but mien are worf moar.” The Warboss snarled, revealing rows of bright yellow tusks. “I'll hitcha when yer lookin, and I'll hitcha when you ain't. Jus'ta make it cleer, I'll make sure ya faint.” Roars of approval moved through the mobs behind him. “Yer a buncha panzeez, stuck in tin canz. I'm a big boss, and I make da planz!”

 

Kay-9 nodded along as the Warboss rhymed. “'Aight, Mixalot, keep the discs hot.” He turned back to the Warboss, “Your teeth are worth more? Okay. I'll pull 'em out'o'yo head. 'Cause by the time we're done, you're gonna be dead, dead, dead.” He smiled, “And a tin can? Bro, have you seen the trash your wearin? I wouldn't be quick to start comparin.” Kay-9 pointed at an Ork dreadnought in the distance, “You wanna can, ya got one right there, shame it's so far away, but you can go right 'ere.” Laughter came from the crowd of Orks, and Kay-9 continued to spit.

 

“Hey, what can I say, I'm a pretty scary guy. You wanna tissue? Gonna have yourself a cry?” Outraged, Rimegob turned back on his boys, and charged into their disorganized ranks. “You laffin at me, ya gitz?” I'll give ye somefin to laff at!” Kay-9 watched as the Ork mob turned on itself, grinning with a single thought, 9 Mils never miss.

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

This is great, I really like the Warboss' rhyme, he could battle the best!

 

As a fan of my own nations home-grown hip-hop, this gets a hefty thumbs up from me. :angry:

 

“Oi, lookit dis, youze gotta lotta boyz,” The Warboss broke into condesending laughter “ha, ha, ha, but I'ze gotta lot more. A 'fousand 'lil gitz soundz piss poor. Yer teef are shiny, but mien are worf moar.” The Warboss snarled, revealing rows of bright yellow tusks. “I'll hitcha when yer lookin, and I'll hitcha when you ain't. Jus'ta make it cleer, I'll make sure ya faint.” Roars of approval moved through the mobs behind him. “Yer a buncha panzeez, stuck in tin canz. I'm a big boss, and I make da planz!”

 

Just golden. :devil: