WIP "The Crimson Tide"

[Rolltide]

Ok so let me start by saying that I am well aware that the Crimson Tide is a football team. Infact, I'm a fanatical sports fan and that was the idea behind it. Having said that, let me show you what I've got.

 

 

*EDIT*

 

Ok so I worked on it a bit and think I have gotten rid of most of the issues you guys brought up. I'm sure it still needs more work, but that's why its being posted here, right? Let me know what yall think.

 

I left the part about them being high casualty in, but seriously considering taking it out... I don't know it just seems like good added flavor? Let me know...

 

The Crimson Tide

 

Born of Genesis Geneseed

 

Primarch - Roboute Guiliman

 

Chapter Master - Paul Bryant

 

Chapter Motto - Should I fall in battle, I'll stand

watch until you join me.

 

Battlecry - Roll Tide!

 

Homeworld - Tusken

 

Tusken is a small rocky planet on the edge of Imperium control. It is marred by impact craters and the scars of eternal battle. The lack of farmland means that they have to import heavily to survive, trading in exchange the massive amounts of weapons that they produce.

 

Its a war culture, a less glorious Cadia. Every child, man or woman is drafted from birth into the military. Women are sent to work the factories that fuel the war machine or trained in support roles, and every other male child is taken into the fortress to be trained as marines. Once inside the fortress the children undergo extreme conditioning. Many children die very early in life because of such rigorous training. Of the remainder, those that pass are trained as marine recruits, and those that fail are sent back to become part of the planets military forces.

 

Everything revolves around war, as the planet was once part of an Ork empire. An empire that constantly struggles to regain control of the planet. As such, Waaagh!'s are commmonplace, often occuring every year.

 

 

 

Chapter History -

 

The Crimson Tide was formed during the 26th founding from the gene-seed of Genesis Chapter. As such they trace lineage back to Roboute Guiliman and the Ultramarines.

 

They were sent to Tusken to put down the Waaagh! and after a long, drawn out campaign managed to rid the planet of Orks. It was in honor of this victory that they established their fortress monastary on the planet. From there they plan attacks on the surrounding Ork planets, and stage the defense of their own homeworld.

 

Their tactics have been born from their constant struggle to surpress the Ork hordes. Flamers are as common as bolters and chainswords. Anything that reduces their foe to meat and gibbets. Assault squads comprise the bulk of their forces, meeting their foe face to face in combat. Their red power armor, coupled with the way they descend upon and engulf their foes like a wave gave birth to their name.

 

They're high-casualty, compared to many other chapters. This is not for lack of aptitude, but because they are constantly fighting the Waaagh! in the surrounding systems. Rarely does a single day pass in which there is not bloodshed. They have few veterans, as many fall in battle before they have a chance to prove their mettle. Those they do have are few and far between, but incredibly powerful.

 

 

 

Religious Beliefs -

 

Their order is very dogmatic, and like the Genesis chapter, and the Ultramarines before them, they hold the Codex Astartes in high regard, but because of the culture of constant death that surrounds them they have developed a fixation on death and its implications along with the rest of the planet. This has bred a death cult aspect in the native people, and the marines. They believe that simply fighting in the Emperors name is not enough to warrant service to him, but to truly honor the Imperium they must fall on the field of battle. They hold elaborate funerals for their fallen brothers that often border on the heretical.

 

Like the ancient greeks they hold funeral games and festivals in their honor and burn their fallen atop funeral pyres. During the fiercest days of the initial Waaagh! these fires burned so bright that they could be seen from space. The apparent glee with which they embrace death might cause one to think them reckless, but only a death from a worthy enemy is one worth honoring.

 

This has also given rise to the belief that the soul lives on in the possesions of the person who owned them. This makes the armor that the marines wear even more valued. Most Marine chapters view armor that has been passed down in this way sacred to some extent, but The Crimson Tide takes this to a whole new level. To wear the armor of a fallen brother is to take on his traits. It is to become him.

 

Every time a Marine falls in battle, his name is engraved upon the armor, and many suits have a dozen or more names etched into them. To wear such armor is to become the embodiment of those fallen warriors, and thus, is to become that much stronger.

[Ace Debonair]

Welcome to the Liber.

 

Here we do our best to help you turn your ideas into, well, better ideas.

So, if the following criticism comes across as harsh, don't take it personally, as my only intention is to help you develop your chapter.

 

Battlecry - Should I fall in battle, I'll stand watch until you join me.

Seems an odd thing to shout defiantly in the face of the enemy, doesn't it? Not a bad chapter motto, though.

 

Everything revolves around war. Annual Waaagh! occurs like clockwork, with the warbands launching attacks from their asteroid bases. The Marines and people of Tusken have yet to find a way to trace the warbands back to their source, and so they must endure the yearly attacks, which sometimes last so long that one has scarcely ended before another begins.

 

I don't think that would work. There's a few good reasons, so I'll list a couple. :(

 

Firstly, if your marines can't tell where the orks are coming from, I'd be surprised. Orks are pretty conspicuous, generally.

 

Secondly, any chapter with a grain of sense would call in some backup. Other chapters, guardsmen - even asking the Imperial Navy to shoot anything Orky that comes towards the system.

 

Thirdly, what were all these orks doing before your chapter arrived? Why did nobody else come to this system and put the smackdown on them?

 

 

They no longer pay the tithe. It could be collected, as the planet is relatively prosperous considering its tumultuous existance, but it is generally accepted that they pay in blood for holding back the Waaagh! in their sector.

Which tithe is this? The Geneseed tithe that the AdMech requires? Or have I missed something?

 

 

Their tactics have been born from their constant struggle to surpress the Ork hordes. No flamers. They use bolters and chainswords. Anything that reduces their foe to meat and gibbets. Assault squads and scouts comrise the bulk of their forces, meeting their foe face to face in combat.

 

I'd have thought flamers would be ideal weapons. You'd have to burn all the dead orks anyway, wouldn't you?

 

 

It's not a bad start, all in all, but there's definitely work to be done.

 

Aside from the stuff I mentioned, I'd reccomend a read of the DIY guide at the top of the forum, it's a good read and filled with useful info. :huh:

[Bjorn Firewalker]

IIRC, Space Marine Chapter planets are exempt from Imperial tithes- those for personnel, materiel, and gold. They are subject to the Adeptus Mechanicus' tithes of gene-seed, for good reason- NO ONE in the Imperium wants a second Horus Heresy, so the gene-seed is regularly checked for signs of mutation or Chaos-corruption.

[Rolltide]

Welcome to the Liber.

 

Here we do our best to help you turn your ideas into, well, better ideas.

So, if the following criticism comes across as harsh, don't take it personally, as my only intention is to help you develop your chapter.

 

Seems an odd thing to shout defiantly in the face of the enemy, doesn't it? Not a bad chapter motto, though.

 

 

 

I don't think that would work. There's a few good reasons, so I'll list a couple. :(

 

Firstly, if your marines can't tell where the orks are coming from, I'd be surprised. Orks are pretty conspicuous, generally.

 

Secondly, any chapter with a grain of sense would call in some backup. Other chapters, guardsmen - even asking the Imperial Navy to shoot anything Orky that comes towards the system.

 

Thirdly, what were all these orks doing before your chapter arrived? Why did nobody else come to this system and put the smackdown on them?

 

 

 

Which tithe is this? The Geneseed tithe that the AdMech requires? Or have I missed something?

 

 

 

I'd have thought flamers would be ideal weapons. You'd have to burn all the dead orks anyway, wouldn't you?

 

 

It's not a bad start, all in all, but there's definitely work to be done.

 

Aside from the stuff I mentioned, I'd reccomend a read of the DIY guide at the top of the forum, it's a good read and filled with useful info. :huh:

 

 

Yeah, I agree about that being more of a chapter motto, thanks for pointing that out, and I'm not one to be easily offended.

 

As far as the questions about the Orks... I haven't a clue. I suppose that's something I need to do some serious work on.

 

The tithe is the tithe that all planets pay to the Emperor in whatever goods it is that they produce. Most Homeworlds of Space Marines are exempt, and I was simply stating why this one was in that statement.

 

Flamers... once again, something that needs fixing I suppose.

 

I've read the DIY guide, and that's actually how I got this far. I just figured I'd put this on here for you guys to give me some tips.

 

Thanks man.

[CKO]

Welcome to the forum, you have a pretty good outline for your IA! The things that stick out to me is that at the moment the focus is not on your chapter but on the planet. Make sure to give your chapter character, because at the moment all that I know is that they are Gulliman descendants who dont use flamers and suffer alot of casulties.

 

Here are some questions that you should answer in your IA that builds character

 

What do they believe in?

Why do they fight a certain way?

Do they follow the Codex Astartes?

What is their favorite tactic?

Major Losses

[soddinnutter]

First the name. I have little to no interest in sports of any kind and have never heard of a team called The Crimson Tide. Probably because I'm in the wrong country. With no prior ideas to start of from I was not imagining anything macho from the name. Quite the reverse in fact.

 

Battlecry is a little long. Can't imagine a bunch of apex-level predators shouting it when they could shout something shorter.

 

A wasteland homeworld is a good idea. The impact craters could explain the lack of farmable land if the eternal war with the orks went nuclear at some point. Was it an ork Mek Boy experimenting with uranium or did the orks once have a permenant settlement on the world and the nukes were used to remove them? Who knows by now but the Fallout series is awesome.

 

Given the prodigious turnover rate you don't want to make it sound like you are whittling the male children down too much. Between those who die and those who fail but are rendered sterile and those who succeed the Marine Training you could be removing the ability to breed from a fair whack out of the planetary gene-pool. You don't want to irreparably diminish the genetic compatibility with the gene-seed from the recruitment stock. And you really don't want a genetic monoculture forming.

 

Given how the orks reproduce by spores and you are not using flamer weapons to dispose of the bodies can we assume that there are plasma and melta weapons in favor? also maybe Inferno Rounds for the bolters?

 

Given how the raids are like clockwork and they can't find where they are coming from does this hint at a space hulk caught in a stable orbit? the regularity of the orbit giving the clockwork and the distortions to reality caused by the warp violation making it very hard to see.

 

How do they view regular humanity? Given how death comes in time to all equally without fear or favor and your chapter follows a Death Cult would that imply a certain level of camaraderie?

[Ferrata]

I hate to be childish about the matter, but I would suggesting the name. "Crimson Tide" is a euphemism for menstruation. So unless these guys only fight once every 28 days, you might want to reconsider.

[CKO]

There is nothing wrong with the name, and with a good paint job it will get good painting scores just because of theme. I know alot of you are not from the US, but the name would be recognize by most.

[Rolltide]

I hate to be childish about the matter, but I would suggesting the name. "Crimson Tide" is a euphemism for menstruation. So unless these guys only fight once every 28 days, you might want to reconsider.

 

 

Yeah I got that, but sports is basically religion around here. While on a worldwide scale, it could be taken that way, everyone around here would instantly recognize it as the team name. The fact that it could be taken that way never occured to me until I brought up the team on the internet as around here, its a sports thing.

[soddinnutter]

...but the name would be recognize by most in the US.

 

 

There, I fixed that for you.

 

If I was to ask anyone at my works or any of our several thousand weekly customers to name one American football team they would not be able to. Becasue few outside the US care about American football.

[Blacklight]

The whole menstruation thing didn't even occur to me. If it were Crimson Flow... then yeah, that would be iffy. But Tide, not really.

[Rolltide]

If I were to make the constant Ork Waaagh!'s because it borders on an Ork empire, would that make it easier to explain, or would that come with its own set of extra problems?

 

Changing the battlecry to the chapter motto. Making minor changes to the description of their recruitment process to fix that. Adding more detail on the chapter itself.

 

Also changing it to allow the use of flamers... I don't know how I managed to overlook that very important fact when I was making all this up. >_<

 

Anything I'm missing?

[NightrawenII]

I hate to be childish about the matter, but I would suggesting the name. "Crimson Tide" is a euphemism for menstruation. So unless these guys only fight once every 28 days, you might want to reconsider.

ROFL.

 

...but the name would be recognize by most in the US.

There, I fixed that for you.

 

If I was to ask anyone at my works or any of our several thousand weekly customers to name one American football team they would not be able to. Becasue few outside the US care about American football.

Quoted for truth.

 

The Crimson Tide

- How do your marines call themselfs?

 

Homeworld - Tusken

- Tusken is name of race in Star Wars.

 

Tusken is a small rocky planet on the edge of Imperium control. It is marred by impact craters and the scars of eternal battle. The lack of farmland means that they have to import heavily to survive, trading in exchange the massive amounts of weapons that they produce.

 

Its a war culture, a less glorious Cadia. Every child, man or woman is drafted from birth into the military. Women are sent to work the factories that fuel the war machine or trained in support roles, and men are taken into the fortress to be trained as marines. Once inside the fortress the children undergo extreme conditioning. Many children die very early in life because of such rigorous training. Of the remainder, those that pass are trained as marine recruits, and those that fail are sent back to become part of the planets military forces.

 

Everything revolves around war.

- This is Krieg in nutshell.

 

Everything revolves around war. Annual Waaagh! occurs like clockwork, with the warbands launching attacks from their asteroid bases. The Marines and people of Tusken have yet to find a way to trace the warbands back to their source, and so they must endure the yearly attacks, which sometimes last so long that one has scarcely ended before another begins.

- What Ace said.

 

The Crimson Tide was formed during the 26th founding from Genesis geneseed

- The wording is awkward... from gene-seed of Genesis Chapter.

 

They use bolters and chainswords. Anything that reduces their foe to meat and gibbets. Assault squads and scouts comrise the bulk of their forces, meeting their foe face to face in combat.

- No wonder they are still struggling against Orks. ;) Any non-dead-brain dude would use machine-guns, a lot of machine-guns.

 

They're very high-casualty. This is not for lack of aptitude, but because they are constantly fighting the Waaagh! in the surrounding systems. Rarely does a single

day pass in which there is not bloodshed. They have few veterans, as most fall in battle before they have a chance to prove their mettle. Those they do have are few and far between, but incredibly powerful.

- And there you are running into problems. It takes 4-8 years for gene-seed to turn a human into Space Marine. If they have so high ratio of casualties, the Chapter will be wiped out in matter of decades.

 

If I were to make the constant Ork Waaagh!'s because it borders on an Ork empire, would that make it easier to explain, or would that come with its own set of extra problems?

Q: What is the Waaagh!?

A: Waaagh is also the name of the rare times when Orks band together to conquer and destroy other races rather than fighting themselves. Finally, it is the name of the massive horde of Orks gathered under a single Warboss - an individual Ork who is invariably the largest, most dominating and physically intimidating. He is able to unite the different warbands of Orks into one massive, almost unstoppable horde - almost always for the purpose and duration of a Waaagh in the second sense.

 

The occasion of a Waaagh is a cross between a mass migration, holy war, looting party and pub brawl, with a bit of genocide thrown in for good measure. Millions of battle-hungry Orks invade their target and stomp everything in their way flat. Just who is invaded is a matter of supreme indifference to the Waaagh. Battle is battle.

 

Waaaghs naturally gain in size and impetus as long as they're successful and have something to fight. As the Waaagh rages on, more Orks will hear of the fighting and travel to where the action is. Thus, the longer a Waaagh goes on the more numerous it becomes.

 

A Waaagh is typically dispersed at its defeat, the death of its Warboss or simply when it runs out of enemies. The combined warbands and tribes will then break up through infighting and inter-clan rivalry. Exceptions do occur: a particularly dominant Warbosses occasionally manages to hold his boyz together, forging for himself a small empire. The best example of this is the Ork empire of Charadon, which has survived for thousands of years under the rule of successive Warlords.

[CKO]

If I was to ask anyone at my works or any of our several thousand weekly customers to name one American football team they would not be able to. Becasue few outside the US care about American football.

 

Just like few in the US care about soccer, but that is not the point if the guy is from Alabama (where american college football is king) and wants to name his chapter Crimson Tide there is nothing wrong with that. He can come up with some reason for the name such as the orks that he commonly fight blood is crimson red. At the moment he is having mechanic issues with the way Ork Waaaghs work and that is what we should be focusing on and nightrawen just mentioned most of the mistakes.

 

I think he should say that his chapter defeated an Ork Waaagh and have setup a monastery fortress nearby. They continously attack the nearby ork planets trying to prevent Ork Waaaghs from happening.

[Captain Zamiel]

ROLL TIDE! :) I am currently at the University of Alabama so I have had the same thought as you. So personally I like the name. As far as not having flamers goes that isn't such a great idea. Personally I wouldm ake them more assault based, representing a tide of bullets and blows to roll over the enemy. They could even yell roll tide. :P

[Marshal Rohr]

Go dawgs.

 

 

That is all.

[Rolltide]

ROLL TIDE! ;) I am currently at the University of Alabama so I have had the same thought as you. So personally I like the name. As far as not having flamers goes that isn't such a great idea. Personally I wouldm ake them more assault based, representing a tide of bullets and blows to roll over the enemy. They could even yell roll tide. :tu:

 

 

Then I'm sure that you, of all people, noticed that the Chapter Master's name is Paul Bryant. He's a master of strategy, of course. haha

 

ROLL TIDE ROLL!

 

 

 

 

Back on track, I'm busy fixing all of my mistakes and I will post an updated list to see if I fixed everything.

[Blacklight]

Having their battle cry be "ROLL TIDE!" could actually be pretty cool... picture a line of Space Marines with bolters and Orks charging. The Marines scream "ROLL TIDE!" and unleash a deadly wave of bolter rounds... epic.

[Rolltide]

*EDIT*

 

Nevermind...

[Captain Zamiel]

Then I'm sure that you, of all people, noticed that the Chapter Master's name is Paul Bryant. He's a master of strategy, of course. haha

 

Your 1st Company Captain is going to be Saban then? With his previous successor that was killed by a grot being named Schula? ;) Seriously that would be great.

 

Maybe another Captain being Captain Lombardi? :P

 

Some sergeants being Ingram, Richardson, Julio, and Mcelroy? Well maybe not Mcelroy...

 

Edit: Maybe they have successfully held off 13 WAAAAGHS!...?

[Rolltide]

Then I'm sure that you, of all people, noticed that the Chapter Master's name is Paul Bryant. He's a master of strategy, of course. haha

 

Your 1st Company Captain is going to be Saban then? With his previous successor that was killed by a grot being named Schula? ;) Seriously that would be great.

 

Maybe another Captain being Captain Lombardi? ;)

 

Some sergeants being Ingram, Richardson, Julio, and Mcelroy? Well maybe not Mcelroy...

 

Edit: Maybe they have successfully held off 13 WAAAAGHS!...?

 

 

 

You bet the first company Captain is going to be Saban! I wouldn't give Schula the honor... But to name every captain for a different head coach. That's just pure brilliance right there.

 

Captain Wade Wallace

Captain Frank Thomas

Captain Gene Stallings

Etc....

 

I happen to know Richardson and Julio personally. Julio is (in my experience) a jerk, but Trent is a great guy we went to highschool together. I'm thinking the sergeants being more of like all time great players, not just from the current crop. Ingram definitely deserves to be included though... You know who else was a cool guy to be around? Mount Cody. I only met him once though.

 

*SIGH*

 

I need to work out the very real mechanics issues here first before I think about any of that. But thanks for giving me a great thought for the companies though.

[Plague Angel]

I hate to be childish about the matter, but I would suggesting the name. "Crimson Tide" is a euphemism for menstruation. So unless these guys only fight once every 28 days, you might want to reconsider.

 

That's one I've never heard, actually.

 

I don't see it mattering terribly much — it seems to me, at least among the women I know, that every woman (and even some men) have their own individual euphemisms for the subject.

 

My mother says "I've been shot."

One of my friends says "It's headache season."

Another says "I'm feeling red."

 

&c.

[Octavulg]

It's the first thing I thought of on reading the name.

 

Then I thought that the tide isn't scary. It's inevitable, sometimes. But it's not that scary.

 

But then, I'm cranky.

[Plague Angel]

Well for what it's worth, I googled it. 21 out of the first 30 hits are the team. One was a Wikipedia disambiguation, one was a novel on Amazon, and the rest were about a movie.

[Octavulg]

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