ShiftyWolf Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Hi all, this is the first time I have posted a story on the B&C but not the first short story I have written, as most of my buddies from the Night Lords forum will know, and probably shun me for repeating this one, even though I made a few add-ons... Anyway, love it, hate it, critique, criticism and the rest welcome. In fact I encourage it, I would like to know what you fellas think. And I just realised I missed the Short Story sub-forum and posted this in the wrong spot... Pure silliness on my behalf and I apologise. Anyway enjoy. The wind moaned slightly as clouds scudded across the midnight sky, casting long inky shadows across the dark landscape, illuminated slightly by the scant light casted from the moon. The Imperial outpost was quiet; it was fully manned by guardsmen who were carrying out their duties with an air of urgency but as quietly as possible. A Traitor fleet was reportedly in the system and the guardsmen were fearful, even with the assurances of the planetary government that the Imperial Navy would chase down these traitors and obliterate them in the name of the Emperor. But still the quiet and the silence were plaguing the outpost. It was like any loud noise would summon the enemy to them, that Traitors would appear out of the dark shadows casted by the bright lights around the fortifications and slay them all. And these men were right to fear, to eye every shadow, look twice at every dark corner for the Traitor fleet that was in the system belonged to the excommunicated Legion of the Night Lords, and they were coming to slaughter them all. The officers in the command floor could sense the unease among the men, even the commissar assigned to the outpost to inspire the men was nervous. However everything in command was working fine, comms was up and running and they were still linked with the various other outposts that ringed the small Hive City of Basithis. The generators were in full swing and in perfect condition and all seemed normal. But ever since reports of the sighting of the Traitor fleet the night was an enemy to these men, something to battle with light and alcohol. To make the night seem more hospitable, friendly, until the sun arrives at dawn. But each man knew that this was just a charade, that the night could be hiding these traitors, shielding them from sight. But each told themselves that they were safe, weren't they? There was no way a Traitor fleet could just slip past all of their defences and surprise them here, they were well fortified and alerted. Even if the enemy were Traitor Legionnaires the odds were against them. And so each man silently tried to convince themselves of their safety. The private posted on the north-east watchtower was shivering, the darkness being kept at bay by the lights around the fort looked impossibly black, and this made him shiver more. He hated it up here, the loneliness and the constant cold of the night. How he wished he could be back in the main barracks, in a warm bed or playing cards with the other men, but yet his rifle was his only company, and the moving shapes along the walls of other men. Again he peered out into the darkness, the moaning wind sending chills up his spine. He could see the intense glare to the west of the Hive City and the small glimmer of lights from the next outpost to the south, but everywhere else was dark. As he gaze moved over the light coming from the other outpost it suddenly went dark. He blinked, trying to wake himself up as he stared but the light was gone. Another chill lanced up his spine and he was about to slide down the ladder of the tower and run for command when something moved out of the corner of his eye. He froze, desperately looking for more movement in the darkness but hoping for none. And suddenly he could hear it, a low whine with static slowly growing louder and louder making him nearly piss himself with fear as he finally lost his nerve. He slid down the ladder and sprinted for command, slamming the door open as he ran inside, reporting the loss of light from the outpost to the south. But as he was saying this to his officers he noticed their pale fearful faces, and that the comms radios were emitting the same whine and static that was growing louder outside. The comms operators were desperately trying to raise the Hive City, or any other outpost but the sound was cutting off any signal, deafening and confusing every man in the outpost. Guardsmen tried to mobilise and ready themselves but it was hard to concentrate with such a piercing noise entering your head. And as suddenly as it started, the whining noise stopped. He stood there, the silence seeming more unnerving than the noise ever was and was unsure whether he had suddenly gone deaf from the piercing noise. That’s when the generators were cut. There was no sign or explanation for this, only that one moment the lights were on, the next not. And then the whine started again, twice as load as it was before and now only coming from outside but it seemed different somehow... something one could only just barely hear below the surface noise of the whine and static and this new noise was growing louder. Then he suddenly recognised it, a voice, a human voice. As it grew louder it words became clearer and clearer and the private could now understand what it was saying. It was begging, begging for them to stop, pleading for his life to be spared. And then a heart ripping scream, joined by more and more in a grim orchestra of sound. The officers and guardsmen in the command room were silent and still, paralysed by the terrible noise. Suddenly the screams were not just coming from a vox with the static and the whining, but from the courtyard outside joined in with the sounds of gunfire. The private moved his way to the edge of the door of the command floor and glanced out and what he saw was the image of a nightmare. He saw large dark armoured traitor legionnaires in the small flashes of light from their bolter fire, lightning arcs flashing across their armour as they butchered the outpost’s garrison with ease, the guardsmen not even putting up any sort of defence. And then he saw him, a towering heavily armoured figure with a glimmering pair of lightning claws in the midst of it all, bloody mangled bodies scattered across the ground around him. The traitor raised his head and caught the guardsmen’s eyes. “Emperor protect us.” one of the officers said behind him as those in the courtyard were butchered, their blood running across the hard cold ground. And all the while the whining, the static and the screaming could still be heard. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/220751-hope-lost/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackwyvern Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 that is amazing :D Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/220751-hope-lost/#findComment-2686463 Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelOfDeathXIII Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 :tu: that just send chills trough my spine... Is this just a prologue or will more follow? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/220751-hope-lost/#findComment-2689338 Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShiftyWolf Posted March 22, 2011 Author Share Posted March 22, 2011 Yikes, sorry I didn't even realise people posted on this, or that it got moved to the correct spot. :lol: I really have no idea whether I will make something out of it or not... Was just a one off thing, though I did enjoy not naming any characters as no one here would recognise the characters I would name (basically just my lord and a few other dudes). But I guess if some, aka two, people enjoyed it I might write a little more.... Cheers by the way. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/220751-hope-lost/#findComment-2697349 Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelOfDeathXIII Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 I have the same.. Only with me not even two people gave me some feedback :P I'll try and finish this chapter but if that doesn't catch on either I'll probably start a new one.. Good luck.. I'll be looking forward to more Night Lords epicness ;) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/220751-hope-lost/#findComment-2697423 Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShiftyWolf Posted March 22, 2011 Author Share Posted March 22, 2011 Well point me to your story and I might put up some feed back for it... Least I can do seeing as you posted on mine. And that Night Lords epicness might be in the mixer for a while as my interest in 40k and warhammer in general is slowly going down the drain. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/220751-hope-lost/#findComment-2697427 Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelOfDeathXIII Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/index.p...howtopic=223708 -> warning..... Lacks fighting :P" Still getting there ;)" And as for And that Night Lords epicness might be in the mixer for a while as my interest in 40k and warhammer in general is slowly going down the drain. Sucks man :S How come? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/220751-hope-lost/#findComment-2697431 Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShiftyWolf Posted March 22, 2011 Author Share Posted March 22, 2011 Pah, well my interest in 40k has been kinda waning in the first place for quite a while... High prices, sucky codex, can't be bothered painting, University and good ol' parties and alcohol just to name a few deterrents. Fluff still keeps me a bit interested but otherwise I'm slowly losing faith. Rather morbid post isn't it? :P Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/220751-hope-lost/#findComment-2697440 Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelOfDeathXIII Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 Pah, well my interest in 40k has been kinda waning in the first place for quite a while... High prices, sucky codex, can't be bothered painting, University and good ol' parties and alcohol just to name a few deterrents. Fluff still keeps me a bit interested but otherwise I'm slowly losing faith. Rather morbid post isn't it? :P Well I can understand your problems (especially the high prices and the university).. Also I understand how you can't be bothered painting (Blood Angels Tactical Marines get old real fast :S) I can't say I my interest will never start waning but for now I keep enjoying it. If it is the fluff that keeps you interested why don't write/read more? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/220751-hope-lost/#findComment-2697443 Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShiftyWolf Posted March 22, 2011 Author Share Posted March 22, 2011 Ah well I have quite a few stories over in the Night Lords forum, but this is my best out of those methinks. And I write sometimes, just hit a real slow spot at the moment and its bound to be slow for a while in the future... Especially with lab reports and essays (not that the bother me that much) looming in the shadows. And as for reading, don't think any 40k books are even remotely close to my city, well, ones that I don't have to pay for anyway. And reading anything lengthy off my laptop screen feels like I am burning my eyes out... Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/220751-hope-lost/#findComment-2697451 Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelOfDeathXIII Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 Sorry it took so long for me to reply.. I understand what you mean. I just finished midterms so I've painted/written today for the first time in weeks. And as for reading on the laptop.. I understand what you mean with the laptop but I have about 10-12 BL books over here and they were well worth their money.. I'll be having a look in the Night Angels forum for more of your stories ;) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/220751-hope-lost/#findComment-2720393 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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