Heresiarch Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 The title is clear enough, I think. i rolled an alternate heresy with red-shoes topic and I obtained Vulkan as ArchBetrayer. (This is quite problematic since I could write all I know of him on ten lines but the dice rolled.) Nevertheless. Here a little presentation of objectives and reasons for every participant (Chaotics ones first) **************************************************************************************************** ************************************* Archbetrayer : Vulkan : The Emperor defeated him in fair fight and that was not to Vulkan taste. i humbly apologize to Aurelius Rex but i find his idea of a disfigured Primarch too awesome to not be used. Traitors Legion Thousand Sons, Night Lords, Blood Angels : For these three I hope to built a sense of tragedy in the strictest meaning of the word. The Three prophets among the Sons Of the Emperor see their fate and it doesn't please them, so they change and transform. Raven Guard : (Slaanesh ) : What would be kindest for the poor Corax to let him take pleasure in the caress of the wind and the touch of the sun on his skin? Apart of course of the joys of the hunt? Imperial Fists (Nurgle) : Rogal Dorn isn't happy when Horus is named Warmaster. He doesn"t understand why his father didn't give him the title. On these thoughts come Konrad Kurze who hurt him badly. When the power called himself Nurgle come the Praetorian doesn't refuse the call. Ultramarines (Khorne) : If the World Eaters represent the bloodthirsty face of Khorne and the alternate Space Wolves of Aurelius his antipsyker's, the Ultrasmurfs must be a testament to the martial perfection of Khornate Champion even if this perfection is an end and not a mean anymore. Dark Angels (Tzeentch) : Aurelius' Raven Guard is the servant of God of Change, Thousand Sons are servant of Sorcery. The Fallen would be servants of Secret and Conspiration, Astellan's fear would be all too right in this version. World Eaters : Angron have gained his battle on Phedan Minor. Alone and without aid. Sufficient to avoid to be pushed in the Blood God's claws, not enough to avoid to hate the Emperor. Salamanders : Help I beg of you. **************************************************************************************************** **************************** Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/221078-alternate-heresy-the-promethean-heresy/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allfather1 Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 For the Salamanders maybe something like this? Forces of the Imperium land on Nocture and demand servitude of the population. They refuse and the Imperials start to attack the poppulation of Nocture. As Vulkan returns form a hunt, he finds his people dead, dying or kept in slave camps. Vulkan is enraged and together with the few survivors he start fighting a guerilla war using his knowledge of the terrain. As the war continues Vulkan rescues more and more of his people. Due to his blacksmithing skills and his superhuman body he is able to supple his forces with blades and armour. When they recover an imperial flamer Vulkan is able to replicate it and it soon becomes his favorite weapon. As the war is slowly lost by the Imperium the Emperor arrives to find one of his lost sons. Though relucant Vulkan pledges to serve his father as he realises that he cannot win. Though serving the Emperor Vulkan never forgets the pain and misery the Emperor brought to his people. As he watches other legions brutaly conquer world after world without regard for human lives his resentment grows and he is determent to bring about the fall of the Emperor, so he can take his place and create a better future for Humanity. As he searches for allies he comes in contact with Chaos and when offered the power to destroy the Emperor he accepts. I know this will probably look a lot like the story of Angron, I think this will keep Vulkan humanitair while still driving him in the arms of the Chaos gods. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/221078-alternate-heresy-the-promethean-heresy/#findComment-2640489 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Rathul Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 The title is clear enough, I think. i rolled an alternate heresy with red-shoes topic and I obtained Vulkan as ArchBetrayer. (This is quite problematic since I could write all I know of him on ten lines but the dice rolled.) Nevertheless. Here a little presentation of objectives and reasons for every participant (Chaotics ones first) **************************************************************************************************** Traitors Legion Raven Guard : (Slaanesh ) : What would be kindest for the poor Corax to let him take pleasure in the caress of the wind and the touch of the sun on his skin? Apart of course of the joys of the hunt? Imperial Fists (Nurgle) : Rogal Dorn isn't happy when Horus is named Warmaster. He doesn"t understand why his father didn't give him the title. On these thoughts come Konrad Kurze who hurt him badly. When the power called himself Nurgle come the Praetorian doesn't refuse the call. Ultramarines (Khorne) : If the World Eaters represent the bloodthirsty face of Khorne and the alternate Space Wolves of Aurelius his antipsyker's, the Ultrasmurfs must be a testament to the martial perfection of Khornate Champion even if this perfection is an end and not a mean anymore. HERETIC!!!!!! Dorn was most loyal to the Emperor, he wouldn't call on Nurgle to help him defeat Konrad Cruze, he is too stubborn! I think it needs some more details as to why they would turn and more insight from the fluff Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/221078-alternate-heresy-the-promethean-heresy/#findComment-2640509 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allfather1 Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 Thousand Sons, Night Lords, Blood Angels : For these three I hope to built a sense of tragedy in the strictest meaning of the word. The Three prophets among the Sons Of the Emperor see their fate and it doesn't please them, so they change and transform. Just had an idea for the Thousand Sons, if you wanted help with them ofcourse, otherwise don't bother to read. Magnus sees his own death at the hand of Leman Russ, who says "you failed him, brother" Magnus thinks this is his punishment for his slow progress due to his extensive research, desperate to avoid his fate he begins to use more and deathlier forms of magic. As he looks into the future he continues to see his death at the hand of Russ. Growing more and more desperate he uses everthing at his disposal to avoid his fate. When the Trial of Nikea (sp?) is called Magnus is confident that he will emerge as the victor due to the incredible amount of worlds they conquered. however he is proven wrong and as punishment every Thousand Son must lob out a eye. Magnus flies into a monstoreus rage, throwing insults at the leaving Emperor's back. When the Emperor ignors him he starts to send spells on the Emperor. Enraged the Emperor disables Magnus, breaks his staff and bellows "prove your loyalty or die" while offering a dagger. Shamed Magnus blinds himself. The Emperor however had learned his lesson with Lorgar (who he had going soft on) and had ordered Custodes and Sisters of Silence to burn the libaries of Prospero and destroy the academies of the Thousand Sons in order to press home his point. When Magnus returned to Prospero he was devasted to see his lifes work in ruin and several sons of him dead for resisting the custodes. Magnus is lost in doubt and looks to sorcery for help, hoping to find a new path. As the thousand sons advance grinds to a halt and Magnus searches for answers Horus orders Russ to Prospero to chech it out and deal with it accordingly. Russ finds out Magnus is still using sorcery and unleashes his Legion while he fights and kills Magnus, saying "you failed him, brother" Unable to resist the power fo the Space Wolves the Thousand Sons call out for aid and recieve it from the four gods. (some recieve aid form Khorne, some form Nurgle ect.) Though able to repel the Wolves the Legion shatters as it is torn apart by their dedication to different gods. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/221078-alternate-heresy-the-promethean-heresy/#findComment-2640555 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Styphus Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 I think the issue now is that you don't have a compelling enough reason for those primarchs to turn traitor. I know it's just an overview, but perhaps flesh that out a bit? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/221078-alternate-heresy-the-promethean-heresy/#findComment-2640866 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heresiarch Posted January 31, 2011 Author Share Posted January 31, 2011 Thank you everyone for the suggestions I have now a more precise view of the Traitor's Primarchs motivations and motives. I warn now that due to my overfondness to them, only Vulkan will die, the others will become Daemon-Prince and I fully intent to kill Leman Russ, by the hand of Magnus by instance So here the work Darks Angels We all know Caliban is being corrupted by the Chaos but the beasts of the canopy protects the population in keeping humans out of corruption's nexus. All is good in the better state of world. Until Lion(el Johnson come in his vessel. None know how he survived these firsts years but the fact is here. He grew in the deep dark forests learning the value of secrecy and guile because they were the only means to ensure its survival. Here he slaugthered his first beasts and bathed in places touched by the Warp, unknowing of the dangers of these shelters. Luther found the young Primarch while he was hunting and like a idiot tells to himself "Hey guys here is a kid which seems to have lived years in the monsters infested wastes of this backwater world. I'm sure he's good" The next events are known to all of us, the education of Lion'el Johnson,his endless thirst for knowledge and his sinister infatuation to secrets and dévious strategy. The beast were promptly exterminated, Caliban unified and the Emperor come and begin the Great Crusade for the Dark Angels (name chosen by the Primarch interpreted as 'the Angels who shine in dark places") Here, the Primarch continues his buisness, knowing all things past and present,no matter how dark they are, how hidden they are. These are the first steps in the worship of Tzeench. Come Ullanor and the crowning of the Warmaster, Lion'el isn't happy with this and continue his crusade. But the secrets found are darker and darker and when Vulkan propose him with the secrets of Chaos, he accepts readily Imperial Fists Rogal Dorn didn't speak of his homeworld, it's for good reasons, the world where the vessel fell was stricken by plagues not virulent enough to wound the infant Primarch but enough to blind him to the most hopeful sides of life. Nothing else is known about his world (if you have ideas..) apart it was home to a wonder of the Dark Age of Technology, Phalanx the Sky-Dungeon which became the fortress-monastery of the Imperial Fists. The Fists became specialized in two things during the Crusade. The first was to be the Emperor's praetorians ceding to none save the Adeptus Custodes themselves. The second was more somber, it was their siege-craft, bloody and tenacious which was destined to do their fame and their undoing. Who can say which horrors are visited upon the participants to a siege? They must be hard indeed to see the stoic Imperial Fist transform under them. They used whathever means it takes for making their foes fall. Even the Devourer of Life, the viral bombs and the enginereed plagues were not below them. How ironic was it when Konrad Kurze the proud and knightly Primarch of the Night Lords strike Dorn with a poisoned blade, not so different of the blade who striked horus on Davin. Facing death slow and painful, Dorn failed and fell from grace, forsaking his father for a power to save himself, and the power was Nurgle. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/221078-alternate-heresy-the-promethean-heresy/#findComment-2641158 Share on other sites More sharing options...
BassWave Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 I would like to make a suggestion on the legion that succumbs to slanesh. I think that the Iron hands would be pretty interesting as followers of slanesh seeing how they are striving for perfection already with their bionic upgrades. They would fit better than Raven Guard in my opinion. The other god specific legions are perfect though, especially the khornate ultramarines. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/221078-alternate-heresy-the-promethean-heresy/#findComment-2641474 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allfather1 Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 I would like to make a suggestion on the legion that succumbs to slanesh. I think that the Iron hands would be pretty interesting as followers of slanesh seeing how they are striving for perfection already with their bionic upgrades. They would fit better than Raven Guard in my opinion. The other god specific legions are perfect though, especially the khornate ultramarines. I think Heresiarch wants to do this according to what came out of red-shoes generator. Otherwise I would suggest the Emperor's children for Khorne as they already seek perfection and are more about indiviuals than the Ultramarines. You could then have Fulgrim mortaly wounded and decides that he has wasted his time trying to master sculpting, painting and that sort of stuff. Instead foccusing entirly on war. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/221078-alternate-heresy-the-promethean-heresy/#findComment-2641491 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heresiarch Posted February 1, 2011 Author Share Posted February 1, 2011 thanks for the suggestions two more Chaos Legions Night Lords The fall of the vessel bearing Konrad Kurze to the darkness of Nostramo didn't go unoticed. Although most of population was deeply entrecheanched in the paths of crime and suspicion, the infant was taken by a human family. Perhaps it wasn't totally void of interest, considering the vices of the Nostramians but when the couple saw the Primarch grew at incredible pace and didn't understand the phenomenum, they forsaken whatever dark projects they have and, out of fear rather than love, they bathed in his light and learned from him rather than the contrary. However the Primarch's childhood wasn't the happiest of all, he saw corruption, evil and fear wherever he directed his gaze upon and despaired because he was a Son of the Emperor, his devotion to justice engraved in his gene-seed. So, at three years when himself looked like a teenager he decided to wage war on the evils he saw and became a vigilante. Countless battles were fought just on the adamantium crust of the world, in the mining tunnels where entire gangs make law, in the manors and castles of corrupted politicians. Konrad Kurze gathered followers, men attracted to his ideals and he quartered any of power hungry maniacs who tempted to grudge him. At last, one day he was victorios and transformed his home in an night utopia where the Emperor come to him. The Primarch decided that his legion of Astartes would be the most honorable, the most lawful and chilvarous, against ennemies worthy of such considerations. They waged fear and slaughtered those who succumbed like the dogs they were. Alas Night Haunter's honor let him fell because he saw the nightmarish eventuality of the Horus Heresy and tried to stop it, warning Rogal Dorn of the Imperial Fists. He was thanked by insults and blows and while he understood than he had to play his part until the end, he thrusted a poisoned dagger in the throat of his brother. Blood Angels When Sanguinius set foot (or rather vessel) on Baal Secundus, legends say he was spared by the pure humans warring against the mutants-cannibal. The question never posed is how an angel bearing the obvious signs of mutation considered the slaughter of his less favored legions. The answer is "badly" the young Primarch spared no mutant who dared venture in his tribe's home but questions without answers hurted his minds along with visions of war waged beyond the stars. These visions wrecked him after the battles and breed a fatalistic bunch of personality. However the war go well and the mutants were exterminated. All is good until the Emperor's coming. When the Master of Humanity set foot on Baal Secundus he was supported by Horus Lupercal. When the eyes of the Angel and the Warmaster met, mutual dread tainted the relation, while Horus sensed just a impending sense of doom, Sanguinius saw his corpse broken under the warmaster feet. This meeting and the vision at it tainted the relations between the two Primarchs. Sanguinius learned the arts of interstellar warfare under Konrad Kurze and Magnus the Red. Ironically these two Sons of the Emperor were equally prescient and the three passed long hours in theirs vessels talking about visions and omens. Under his command the Blood Angels specialisez in close combat and were renowed for their epic capacity to rage et cry over their victims. But the gift of the Primarch denied him rest and his dreams were more and more precise. He saw the treason of Horus Warmaster, and the role played by his own Bloods Angels in the defense of Holy Terra. He witnessed the consequences of his death and shuddered to the thoughts of the Black Rage and the Red Thirst. And at the same instant Horus fell on Davin, Sanguinius begged the powers of the Warp for an equivalent exhange : An eternity at their service against a place besides the Archtraitor. Although the plan of Horus' corruption was a failure, the Warpgods laughed when the angelic Sanguinius pledged himself to them for nothing at all because, once again, they were in different camps. This ringed the corruption of the legion and his degenerescence in rabid beasts Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/221078-alternate-heresy-the-promethean-heresy/#findComment-2642486 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allfather1 Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Imperial Fists Rogal Dorn didn't speak of his homeworld, it's for good reasons, the world where the vessel fell was stricken by plagues not virulent enough to wound the infant Primarch but enough to blind him to the most hopeful sides of life. Nothing else is known about his world (if you have ideas..) apart it was home to a wonder of the Dark Age of Technology, Phalanx the Sky-Dungeon which became the fortress-monastery of the Imperial Fists. The Fists became specialized in two things during the Crusade. The first was to be the Emperor's praetorians ceding to none save the Adeptus Custodes themselves. The second was more somber, it was their siege-craft, bloody and tenacious which was destined to do their fame and their undoing. Who can say which horrors are visited upon the participants to a siege? They must be hard indeed to see the stoic Imperial Fist transform under them. They used whathever means it takes for making their foes fall. Even the Devourer of Life, the viral bombs and the enginereed plagues were not below them. How ironic was it when Konrad Kurze the proud and knightly Primarch of the Night Lords strike Dorn with a poisoned blade, not so different of the blade who striked horus on Davin. Facing death slow and painful, Dorn failed and fell from grace, forsaking his father for a power to save himself, and the power was Nurgle. I think this is good start but still a bit on the weak side though it could work, maybe you could add something like this? When Mortarion was found the Emperor desended with Rogal Dorn at his side. Dorn, confident is his body's resistance, went to the surface unhelmeted. It was upon the highest mountain with the air unbreathable by humans and where Mortarion himself was fully enclosed within his armour that he met his long-lost brother. On that peak Dorn's body failed him, though he quickly put his helmet on the damage was done. Mortarion pleased to finaly meet beings like him poured his kinsmen a brew of the most potent poisons Barbarus had to offer. Already weakened by the toxic air of Barbarus the brew was to much for Dorn, quickly saying farewell he teleported back to the Phalanx to hide his weakness from all but his most trusted sons. It is said that this was the second time Nurgle reached out to Dorn, the first having been on his homeworld. When Dorn had recovered from his illness he sought to purge himself from weakness, embracing the pain-glove. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/221078-alternate-heresy-the-promethean-heresy/#findComment-2642580 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heresiarch Posted February 1, 2011 Author Share Posted February 1, 2011 thanks for the bit Allfather I'm on my way to define the events more precisely That would do Legion on Istvan Salamanders : come from orbit, burn the system to the core, fortifying themselves in the ruins after and ignoring summons attacked by Loyalists Emperor's Children Iron's Hand Death Guard (I'm not sure of this one but I would like to corrupt Corax before the Drop Site Massacre so no Raven Guard) betrayed by Imperial Fists Ultramarines Raven Guard World Eaters Legions at Terra Loyalists With Primarch Sons of Horus White Scars Word Bearers Without Primarch Iron's Warrior & Iron's hand (the bulk of the legions is fighting on Mars) Alpha Legion Emperor's Children Traitors Salamanders Blood Angels Thousands Sons Night Lords Imperial Fists (first breach) World Eaters Raven Guard The Ultramarines are fighting the Alpha Legion; The Space Wolves the Dark Angels in the deep of the Warp Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/221078-alternate-heresy-the-promethean-heresy/#findComment-2642653 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allfather1 Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 I think that the having the Bulk of both the Iron Hands and the Iron Warriors fighting on Mars without a Traitor Legion is a bit much so I would have it reversed. So the Bulk of the Legions fight on Terra and only a few companies fight on Mars. Or have them fighting the Titan Legions reinforced by a few companies of Imperial Fist, who defending a heavily fortified area. (maybe a tank or combat-servitor factory. which would explain how a few companies could hold out against two full Legions.) Just my thoughts. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/221078-alternate-heresy-the-promethean-heresy/#findComment-2642756 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heresiarch Posted February 1, 2011 Author Share Posted February 1, 2011 I thought having two legion against the Traitor Titans Legion, the Dark Mechanicum, and some traitor Astartes. And the Iron's hand will be very depleted due to the Drop Site Massacre, (In fact it was the garnison of Mars added by Ferrus Mannus and his surviving vets) but in fact, you're welcome, the Iron's Warriors will be in Terra Now I had to flesh that moron of Sanguinius <_< Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/221078-alternate-heresy-the-promethean-heresy/#findComment-2642765 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allfather1 Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 I thought having two legion against the Traitor Titans Legion, the Dark Mechanicum, and some traitor Astartes. And the Iron's hand will be very depleted due to the Drop Site Massacre, (In fact it was the garnison of Mars added by Ferrus Mannus and his surviving vets) but in fact, you're welcome, the Iron's Warriors will be in Terra Well I never said that you couldn't have the both Legions on Mars but that I felt that the Titan Legions and the Dark Mechanicum were insuficent reason for having two Legions fighting there. Traitor Astartes weren't mentioned in your last post, so I suggested to have a few Imperial Fists there who fortified the forges. In fact it was the garnison of Mars added by Ferrus Mannus and his surviving vets Do you mean the surviving Morlocks or all the survivors of the Drop Site Massacre?Loyalists With Primarch Sons of Horus White Scars Word Bearers Without Primarch Iron's Warrior & Iron's hand (the bulk of the legions is fighting on Mars) Alpha Legion Emperor's Children Traitors Salamanders Blood Angels Thousands Sons Night Lords Imperial Fists (first breach) World Eaters Raven Guard The Ultramarines are fighting the Alpha Legion; The Space Wolves the Dark Angels in the deep of the Warp Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/221078-alternate-heresy-the-promethean-heresy/#findComment-2642818 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heresiarch Posted February 1, 2011 Author Share Posted February 1, 2011 surviving morlocks and i heed your suggestion and it will be a contingent of traitors led by the Imperial fists Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/221078-alternate-heresy-the-promethean-heresy/#findComment-2642834 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandmaster Anaziel Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 The title is clear enough, I think. i rolled an alternate heresy with red-shoes topic and I obtained Vulkan as ArchBetrayer. (This is quite problematic since I could write all I know of him on ten lines but the dice rolled.) Nevertheless. Here a little presentation of objectives and reasons for every participant (Chaotics ones first) **************************************************************************************************** ************************************* Archbetrayer : Vulkan : The Emperor defeated him in fair fight and that was not to Vulkan taste. i humbly apologize to Aurelius Rex but i find his idea of a disfigured Primarch too awesome to not be used. Traitors Legion Thousand Sons, Night Lords, Blood Angels : For these three I hope to built a sense of tragedy in the strictest meaning of the word. The Three prophets among the Sons Of the Emperor see their fate and it doesn't please them, so they change and transform. Raven Guard : (Slaanesh ) : What would be kindest for the poor Corax to let him take pleasure in the caress of the wind and the touch of the sun on his skin? Apart of course of the joys of the hunt? Imperial Fists (Nurgle) : Rogal Dorn isn't happy when Horus is named Warmaster. He doesn"t understand why his father didn't give him the title. On these thoughts come Konrad Kurze who hurt him badly. When the power called himself Nurgle come the Praetorian doesn't refuse the call. Ultramarines (Khorne) : If the World Eaters represent the bloodthirsty face of Khorne and the alternate Space Wolves of Aurelius his antipsyker's, the Ultrasmurfs must be a testament to the martial perfection of Khornate Champion even if this perfection is an end and not a mean anymore. Dark Angels (Tzeentch) : Aurelius' Raven Guard is the servant of God of Change, Thousand Sons are servant of Sorcery. The Fallen would be servants of Secret and Conspiration, Astellan's fear would be all too right in this version. World Eaters : Angron have gained his battle on Phedan Minor. Alone and without aid. Sufficient to avoid to be pushed in the Blood God's claws, not enough to avoid to hate the Emperor. Salamanders : Help I beg of you. **************************************************************************************************** **************************** You need to seriously flesh out the reasons for the primarchs to turn beyond "If the World Eaters represent the bloodthirsty face of Khorne and the alternate Space Wolves of Aurelius his antipsyker's, the Ultrasmurfs must be a testament to the martial perfection of Khornate Champion even if this perfection is an end and not a mean anymore." I like the concept(except for Lion El'jonson being a traitor of course XD) but you need to add more depth. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/221078-alternate-heresy-the-promethean-heresy/#findComment-2648188 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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