Un-named chapter IA

[Generating Random Name...]

This is a checkist of what i'm thinking to do,

Homeworld:

• Where? Planet in Phobix

• Feral.

• Why? Crusade, chaos owned, crash land, survive till rescued by Imperials.

• Who?

• crash ship called: caelocadt (roughly skyfall by people of planet)

Geneseed:

• Who? Ultra, eagle warriors

• Why? Mobile defence force

Organisation:

• What? Codex

• Why? Ultra, eagle warriors

• Who?

Combat Doctrine:

• What? Armoured Phalanx, adapt to little resources.

• Who? Remnants of chapter

• Why? crash land

Beliefs

• What?

• Who?

• Why?

Important people

• Tech marines, try to establish communication.

• Apothecary, try to stop chapter dying out.

 

 

 

Here is the Origins section of the un-named army so far:

 

Origins

T

he *Name* were formed in the 23rd founding, with Captain *Name* from the Eagle Warriors being chosen as the head of the training cadre. The Eagle Warriors fleet based mentality has passed on to the *Name*, while they had a somewhat smaller fleet than their progenitors. The *Name* have no records of why they were founded, as most records have been lost, and many surviving marines see it as irrelevant, with their only vehement goal being the eradication of chaos. Of the many battles fought by the *Name* one the most important was during the early campaign to retake the planets of Phobix.

 

Phobix is located in the Segmentum Obscurus, and has been under the hold of the ruinous powers for many centuries. While the *Name* suffered losses in their mission they retook the planet with considerable speed, but the victory was short lived as just as the *Name*’s flagship “Deum Gladius” was about to enter the warp for the journey back to their Homeworld – Plavis IV – When, without warning, Chaos reinforcements materialized and devastated them...

 

The Phobix V Crash

The Fleet

The *Name*’s fleet. As has already been mentioned the *Name* were (and To some extent still are) a fleet based chapter, and could Often be seen touring the planets in the Segmentum Obscurus, fighting the forces whenever there was occasion. Not all of the *Name*’s fleet was present at the time of the Crash, But it was a significant portion comprising: Deum Gladius (A battle barge), 1 strike cruiser, 3 gladius class frigates and 5 Nova class frigates, The Deum Gladius just survived the crash (Thanks to its extremely Skilled pilots) With the rest of the ships being destroyed.

C

rippled and nearly destroyed the Deum Gladius had to attempt a crash landing on one of the planet’s barren glassy Plains. This manoeuvre was a part failure, as although some of the Chapter’s command echelon survived the majority of Marines perished, and their ships were ruined. And as if to pile one injustice onto another the whole Phobix system was soon engulfed in warp storms which lasted many decades, and made contact and travel impossible. Presumed dead by the Imperium and the forces of Chaos alike the Chapter was left to contemplate their end.

 

On Phobix

F

ollowing the crash many people of Import within the Chapter were placed into hibernation until either they were rescued or until they were in grave danger. Two Astartes that elected not to go into hibernation were the Tech marine “Arma Tueri” and the head Apothecary “Valens Arcturus”. Tueri had decided because someone needed to try and re-establish communication, and call for extraction from imperial forces. Valens voted to stay aware so he could try and recruit from the planet’s natives.

 

Rescue

A

fter many decades on Phobix Tech Marine Teuri had managed to create a crude communication device from salvage from the “Deum Gladius” with which he attempted to contact nearby systems to request Imperial aid whenever there was a break in the warp storms which plagued them. These attempts were heard by the Imperial Guard on the planet Ianngon, who immediately dispatched ships to extract the fallen Astartes.

 

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So...What do you think? any C&C welcome.

[Armor Athlete]

1) Is this battle the origin of your Chapter? Becasue the are already formed when they fought.

 

2) I dont think that your Marines would love to be "rescued" by IG, pride and all.

 

3) Why put the Cmnd In Stasis, Marines can live for a long time.

 

4) Read the "How-To DIY" and look at other IA in the Liber to get a feel of what an IA takes. Break it down and take each part, research and make it sound good, but believable.

 

Good luck. I will re read and make some more suggestions. But get everything worked out first. Write an outline first to answer some questions.

[Generating Random Name...]

1) Is this battle the origin of your Chapter? Becasue the are already formed when they fought.

Well, I would have thought they would have had to have been formed when they fought, i think this would be the most importanat early battle.

 

2) I dont think that your Marines would love to be "rescued" by IG, pride and all.

It's more a phrase, maybe "Extracted" would be better.

 

3) Why put the Cmnd In Stasis, Marines can live for a long time.

It's not Roboute Guilliman style stasis, more the kind the marine can do to themself, but needs to be revived from. And what would be the point of all the command be awake when all you really need is a "Ghost crew" so to speak.

 

4) Read the "How-To DIY" and look at other IA in the Liber to get a feel of what an IA takes. Break it down and take each part, research and make it sound good, but believable.

I've read it, but not to the point of memorising so i do need to keep checking it.

 

Good luck. I will re read and make some more suggestions. But get everything worked out first. Write an outline first to answer some questions.

Thankyou. Thankyou. And i will put up an outline soon.

[Captain Juan Juarez]

3) Why put the Cmnd In Stasis, Marines can live for a long time.

It's not Roboute Guilliman style stasis, more the kind the marine can do to themself, but needs to be revived from. And what would be the point of all the command be awake when all you really need is a "Ghost crew" so to speak.

 

Hibernation is the word you are looking for.

[NightrawenII]

Hmm, lately it seems like "Crashing-on-the-planet" is the new "Lost-in-the-Warp" cliche.

 

Of the many battles fought by the *Name* one the most important was during the early campaign to retake the planets of Phobix.

 

Phobix is located in the Segmentum Obscurus, and has been under the hold of the ruinous powers for many centuries. While the *Name* suffered losses in their mission they retook the planet with considerable speed, but the victory was short lived as just as the *Name*’s flagship “Deum Gladius” was about to enter the warp for the journey back to their Homeworld – Plavis IV – When, without warning, Chaos reinforcements materialized and devastated them...

- It is very rare for Chapters to fight as whole.

 

Presumed dead by the Imperium and the forces of Chaos alike the Chapter was left to contemplate their end.

- What happened to these Chaos reinforcements? Don't tell me, they were watching how the Deum Gladius crashed on the planet surface and then decided to go home or something.

 

And as if to pile one injustice onto another the whole Phobix system was soon engulfed in warp storms which lasted many decades, and made contact and travel impossible.

- Yeah, these dastardly Warp-storms, they have this habit to appear everytime you need them as Plot Device. :rolleyes:

 

Valens voted to stay aware so he could try and recruit from the planet’s natives.

- To be honest, I would say the recruiting is your least concern in such situation.

[Generating Random Name...]

Hmm, lately it seems like "Crashing-on-the-planet" is the new "Lost-in-the-Warp" cliche.

 

Of the many battles fought by the *Name* one the most important was during the early campaign to retake the planets of Phobix.

 

Phobix is located in the Segmentum Obscurus, and has been under the hold of the ruinous powers for many centuries. While the *Name* suffered losses in their mission they retook the planet with considerable speed, but the victory was short lived as just as the *Name*’s flagship “Deum Gladius” was about to enter the warp for the journey back to their Homeworld – Plavis IV – When, without warning, Chaos reinforcements materialized and devastated them...

- It is very rare for Chapters to fight as whole.

O.k.

 

Presumed dead by the Imperium and the forces of Chaos alike the Chapter was left to contemplate their end.

- What happened to these Chaos reinforcements? Don't tell me, they were watching how the Deum Gladius crashed on the planet surface and then decided to go home or something.

Well, why not? I suppose they could bombard the planet to make extra sure. Or they could crash as well, and y'know have a nice big battle. But they're hardly gonna stay around in case more Imperial forces turn up, or one of those dastardly Unexpected Warps storms :) .

 

And as if to pile one injustice onto another the whole Phobix system was soon engulfed in warp storms which lasted many decades, and made contact and travel impossible.

- Yeah, these dastardly Warp-storms, they have this habit to appear everytime you need them as Plot Device. :(

Well, what else would you suggest to be a good way for the survivors to be cut off from the imperium?

 

Valens voted to stay aware so he could try and recruit from the planet’s natives.

- To be honest, I would say the recruiting is your least concern in such situation.

Why? If they have been stuck there for quite a few years then of course their numbers would be getting quite low, wouldn't they?

[NightrawenII]

And as if to pile one injustice onto another the whole Phobix system was soon engulfed in warp storms which lasted many decades, and made contact and travel impossible.

- Yeah, these dastardly Warp-storms, they have this habit to appear everytime you need them as Plot Device. :cuss

Well, what else would you suggest to be a good way for the survivors to be cut off from the imperium?

Why do you want to be cut off from Imperium?

 

Valens voted to stay aware so he could try and recruit from the planet’s natives.

- To be honest, I would say the recruiting is your least concern in such situation.

Why? If they have been stuck there for quite a few years then of course their numbers would be getting quite low, wouldn't they?

Define few years. The marines live for hundred years, it's not like they are going to die any time soon.

[Generating Random Name...]

And as if to pile one injustice onto another the whole Phobix system was soon engulfed in warp storms which lasted many decades, and made contact and travel impossible.

- Yeah, these dastardly Warp-storms, they have this habit to appear everytime you need them as Plot Device. :D

Well, what else would you suggest to be a good way for the survivors to be cut off from the imperium?

Why do you want to be cut off from Imperium?

So i can have the pleasure of not deviating from the codex :)

 

 

Valens voted to stay aware so he could try and recruit from the planet’s natives.

- To be honest, I would say the recruiting is your least concern in such situation.

Why? If they have been stuck there for quite a few years then of course their numbers would be getting quite low, wouldn't they?

Define few years. The marines live for hundred years, it's not like they are going to die any time soon.

hhm, you may have converted me to getting rid of the cliches...

 

Right, next update i will take into accout what you have said. Thanks.