Broken Sabre

[Ace Debonair]

Well, speaking as an occasional reader and first time poster in this part of the forum - it's crunch time.

 

This story revolves around two of my Work-In-Progess DIY chapters. (Alright, one chapter and one warband) It's part of the Feburary challenge for the Iron Gauntlet, which was write a minimum of 1,000 words on the defining moment of my Gauntlet chapter, the Stonebound.

 

The actual total came to just over 4,000, so... mission accomplished. :P

 

It's probably liberally peppered with errors, damnable typos and bits that make sense to me and nobody else. ;)

That's where you guys come in - feel free to nitpick and highlight mistakes that I've made.

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Broken Sabre:

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Aboard the Battle Barge Arn, Captain Roclan of the Stonebound's Second Company paced back and forth across the bridge, muttering to himself in his native Kagaran tongue. Around him, servitors monitored the ship's instruments, watching a series of lights and dials with the patience only a servitor has. There was still no sign of the planet Throka.

 

The Arn had picked up a distress signal sent from Throka, home of the Stonebound's parent chapter, the Red Sabres. The Stonebound's great pride in their lineage had meant that Roclan's response had been automatic - to warn off all other Imperial forces and head to Throka himself. If the Red Sabres were in trouble, the Stonebound would honour their ancestors by being first on the scene.

 

There had been some tension between the Stonebound and an Imperial Navy fleet, ending with Captain Roclan summarily dismissing Admiral Denkin of the Vavian 4th fleet, and all but threatening him with dire consequences should he interfere in the matter. Since then, Roclan had visibly been on edge.

 

Veteran Sergeant Daras, a long-time friend of Roclan's, turned to the anxious captain.

 

"Roclan, stop your pacing. You'll wear yourself out before the fighting starts," he joked. The Captain shot him a stern glare.

 

"Our forebears sent that distress call. You heard it. Less than a hundred Red Sabres remain - plagued by a phantom enemy. By the Khan, what could do such a thing?"

 

Daras fell silent, nodding sombrely. Despite his jesting, he was as concerned as the Captain. The ship continued forward, hurtling through space like a vengeful arrow. To Captain Roclan, it felt as though it were crawling through mud. How much longer must they wait to see what had befallen Throka?

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

 

On the surface of Throka, Keja the Sorceror, right-hand man of Firstblade Maluk of the Rift Lords, was distinctly uneasy. Uneasy and furious. He picked his way through the Rift Lords camp, seeking out his master. He would be camped in the grandest tent, as was the right of the Firstblade.

 

After a moment to get his bearings in the vast, bustling camp, Keja made his way to the large, conical tent that had been set up near the centre, decorated with sigils praising the Gods. Without hesitation, he pushed the two guards aside and threw back the flap. Inside, Maluk stood, tracing a battleplan in the dirt with his swordpoint. With him were his four Riftmarks - commanders each of roughly a quarter of Maluk's forces. Keja noted with a touch of pride the momentary looks of fear on the faces of the Riftmarks, and they scrambled to their feet. Maluk himself stared levelly at his Sorceror.

 

"Firstblade, we must talk." Keja said, brushing his long, white hair out of his face.

 

"Leave me, my Riftmarks." Maluk spoke to the Riftmarks, but continued to stare at Keja.

 

When the Riftmarks had fled the tent, Keja relaxed somewhat, and ran his hands down his face wearily.

 

"Firstblade, with every respect due to you as leader of this warband, what in the Gods' names do you think you're doing? Open battle? Against the Red Fortress?"

 

"Against less than a hundred men, Sorceror." Maluk laughed at the bitter expression on Keja's face. "We outnumber the enemy many times over. What is this? Fear? Or do you think my Rift Lords so weak as to be unable to topple this shell of a defence?"

 

"Shell? Maluk, this is insanity. I've studied those walls. A dozen men could hold off a hundred from there. A hundred men could hold off thousands. We will lose scores of men breaching each of those three walls. With patience, we could break them without ever revealing ou-"

 

"Patience? Patience? I've been patient long enough, Keja. We've picked like scavengers at a carcass, swatting at flies rather than bringing glory to our Gods. A hundred Astartes offer us no problems - we are Rift Lords, the terror of the Segmentum Pacificus! And it's high time we exercised our might." Maluk added, with a sly chuckle. Keja shook his head in despair.

 

"Firstblade. Have my plans ever failed you?"

 

"Your forté is working on the bigger picture, Keja. The advancement of our Gods' cause. This is a minor detail, and your advice is not needed. Go. Send my Riftmarks to me again. The battle will begin at sundown, and they must be agreed on my strategy."

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

 

Captain Garret looked out over the fields of Throka with a grim expression. The only surviving officer of the Red Sabres, formerly Captain of the Eighth Company. His men - his brothers - had been clinically dispatched, as though swallowed by the void of space. It had been almost three years ago that the first Red Sabres had gone missing - it was later discovered their Strike Cruiser, the Stallion, had been destroyed after picking up the victorious company from the battlefield.

 

With a steadily increasing frequency from thereon, companies found themselves attacked after battles, or while in orbit over what they thought safe planets. The attacks were secret and sudden - nobody could say for certain what it was they faced, although some evidence pointed to traitor Astartes.

 

Garret stared grimly at the grounds before the Red Fortress. The enemy was on Throka. He knew it. After centuries of fighting, Garret could almost feel the enemy out there. Waiting. The last of the Red Sabres would stand defiantly and proudly, even in the face of certain death.

 

Following Techmarine Archion's advice, he'd sent out the distress call, but knew in his heart that he would be dead before it was answered. Garret didn't care. Death was nothing to an Astartes, destined to sit at the Emperor's side in the afterlife.

 

"Captain Garret." Archion called down from the walls of the Red Fortress. "The sun is setting. The serfs have been sent away. If you come back inside, we can close the gates."

 

Garret continued to stare ahead. He longed for the chance to hunt his enemy - to fight back - and knew it would be denied to him. He would have to hope that the formidable defences of the Red Fortress would force his enemy into the open, where he could visit the Emperor's wrath upon them. Turning away from the fields of Throka, he marched through the open gateway, the huge metal doors slamming shut behind him.

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

 

"Throka is in sight, Captain," The servitor intoned. "Beginning deceleration."

 

"By the Emperor. Look at that!" Sergeant Daras pointed out of the window, but Captain Roclan had already seen it.

 

The ruins of a strike cruiser drifted in orbit, circling slowly. Part of the hull displayed a curved, red sword - the badge of the Red Sabres.

 

"Intact ships detected, Captain," another servitor intoned. "on the far side of the planet."

 

"Astartes?"

 

"Negative, Captain. Sensors would indicate a broad mix of shapes and sizes, not common to any registered Imperial force."

 

"What do you make of that?" Daras mused aloud. Roclan shook his head.

 

"I don't know what to make of it. How many ships?"

 

"Eighteen, Captain."

 

"One ship against eighteen is... unfavourable odds." Captain Roclan bit his lip thoughtfully. "Signal Admiral Denkin. We may need his help after all. Sergeant, ready the men. We make planetfall as soon as we're close enough."

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

 

The battle for the Red Fortress had begun soon after sundown. Once the twilight had ended, the Rift Lords had marched on the Red Fortress, their tanks in the vanguard. Maluk's plan had been simple - batter the gates and the first wall with armour, and have half his men mount an assault on the front wall, whilst at the back of the Red Fortress, the other half of the Rift Lords would sneak up to the walls in the ensuing chaos and climb over, accompanied by the warband's squads of Raptors.

 

But there had been problems. The gates and walls of the Red Fortress seemed almost impervious to harm - shrugging off shells and lascannon shots alike. Added to this, there were gun emplacements with automated turrets, continually blasting anything that got too close to the walls. Either side of the gates, there were lascannons, much larger and more powerful than the ones found on the predators that the Rift Lords had. They also had a greater effective range - Maluk's forces were down three tanks before the Rift Lords had even successfully fired a volley.

 

The planned surprise attack at the back had fared little better. The automated gun emplacements meant getting near the walls was difficult in the extreme. Riftmark Lucanis, nominally in charge of the assault on the back walls, had led the squads of Raptors onto the walls, only to find the few figures scampering along the walls at intervals had been armoured servitors, rather than the real enemy. On top of that, the gun emplacements on the second walls - crewed by gleeful Astartes - began hosing them down with heavy bolter fire. Lucanis and his men had been forced to make an ungainly retreat.

 

Maluk, however, had proven to be a step ahead. As confidence filled the loyalist camp, they relaxed their guard as the Rift Lords drew back. Maluk, knowing this would happen, had summoned both Keja and his lesser Sorcerors, and used their combined power to teleport Maluk and his chosen warriors, clad in terminator armour, behind the third wall. As panic erupted, the Rift Lords all moved around to the back of the fortress, and turned their attention to breaching the wall there. It was Keja, in the end, who managed it. Pouring all his psychic might into an attack that left the walls decaying and brittle, it splintered like wood under the attacks of the Rift Lords, and the first wall was lost.

 

Maluk was lost in the joy of combat - it had been far too long since his skills had been tested this way. Leaving his men to deal with the other Astartes, he sought out their leader, sounding out challenges and daring him to face death. Garret's response, however, stunned even Maluk.

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

 

The doors of the Red Fortress's innermost heart, the Fortress Monastery proper, flew open. Bright light spilled from the doorway, and the sound of revving engines filled the air as Captain Garret and a score of men mounted on bikes tore out of the Fortress. Maluk stared incredulously as they plunged towards him, all challenges and oaths forgotten. Garret let a thin smile play across his face as he closed the distance, raising his power sword for a decapitating blow.

 

Maluk had refelxively adopted a perfect defensive stance, almost instinctively allowing him to sidestep Garret's attack with little effort. What there was no defence for was the following biker immediately ramming his bike into Maluk, knocking the Firstblade aside while he was unbalanced. Maluk was quick to recover, though, and his bodyguards closed in around him, firing wildly at the bikers as they circled the courtyard. The ground shook, and a rising column of acrid black smoke told Maluk that the second wall had fallen.

 

Garret signalled his men, and they began breaking from the circle, one at a time, darting across the courtyard and slicing at the knot of enemies. Two of Maluk's bodyguard went down to precision attacks, and a third lost an arm to a slicing chainsword. Garret himself launched the next attack, driving at Maluk from behind and bringing his sword up to stab the Firstblade.

 

Maluk, hearing the engine of the bike drawing closer, spun around frantically, parrying the attack with his own sword. His free hand grabbed at Garret's armour, catching him under the shoulder pad and pulling him from his bike. Garret tumbled to the floor, his bike skidding away from him. Maluk charged him, and Garret barely had time to get to his feet before the Firstblade ran him through with his power sword. Garret stared numbly at the sword stuck in him, then sank slowly to his knees. Maluk laughed wildly, pulling the sword from the corpse and striking Garret's head from his shoulders.

 

There was a crunching noise behind Maluk. The third gate had been breached, again by Keja's sorcery. The remaining marines, though they fought bravely, were swamped under the numbers of battle-crazed Rift Lords as they swept through the courtyard.

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

 

It was barely an hour later that the Rift Lords had finished tearing apart what had been the innermost sanctum of the Red Sabres. The Monastery was torn down and it's rubble formed into a crude star of Chaos. The broken, shattered corpses of the marines and servitors were cast onto the ruin as an offering to the Gods.

 

Maluk was the toast of the warband - Rift Lords were proudly showing off their newly captured treasures, or in some cases duelling each other for loot. Several of Maluk's ships had come down to the planet, and Keja himself supervised the loading of the most precious treasure - captured geneseed, taken from the Red Sabres' stocks. There was an irony in the legacy of the Imperium's dead defenders being used to create more Rift Lords that Keja found quite satisfying.

 

The Sorceror looked back at the celebrating Rift Lords with disdain. If they'd have followed his plans, the warband would still be at full strength. Keja estimated they'd lost almost two hundred men in the attack - less than he'd expected, but still a heavy price to pay. Doubtless Maluk would gloat for hours about defying Keja's predictions. As he stared at the Fortress, something caught his attention, falling through the sky. Even as he watched, more of these falling objects came into view. Keja's jaw dropped in surprise as he recognized the plummeting things for what they were. Astartes Drop Pods.

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

 

Captain Roclan mustered his men quickly, and they moved on towards the Red Fortress. Three whole companies of the Stonebound lay at his command. Captains Urthand and Delrun stood ready alongside him, awaiting his orders as the most senior of the three Captains. Roclan turned to them, giving them the order they longed for.

 

"March."

 

They could see the damaged walls, even from here, and the columns of smoke that still issued from the collapsed centre of the Fortress. Thunderhawks swooped down, deploying tanks and bike squads, who fell into formation almost effortlessly. As much as Roclan itched to mount a bike himself and ride at the enemy, he knew with a cold certainty that haste would see his end on this night, and resigned himself to walking.

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

 

Keja bounded into the camp, pushing Rift Lords aside as he sought out Maluk.

 

"Firstblade! Firstblade!"

 

Maluk turned away from the star of Chaos they had formed of the Fortress Monastery, scowling.

 

"What is it this time, Sorceror?"

 

Keja, out of breath after rushing back to the camp, had only one word.

 

"Reinforcements."

 

Maluk stared for a moment, then uttered a string of black oaths against all Imperial dogs. Keja continued;

 

"We have to get out of here. Our ships - if they find our ships..."

 

"If we withdraw, they'll follow us," Maluk snarled. "What choice do we have but to fight?"

 

"No!" Keja barked. "No. The walls are already breached, the warband is exhausted. Our numbers are no use in a siege, and our supplies are limited. We have to escape now."

 

"You have a plan," Maluk breathed. "Tell me the details."

 

"As we march. Put the order out, Firstblade. Back to the ships."

 

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

 

 

Captain Roclan and his men arrived at the Fortress to see a broken, battered shell. It tore at their hearts. The Stonebound were still a young chapter - many of the older marines, Roclan knew, had been to Throka in the past, to visit the great halls of their ancestors.

 

Now those same walls were silent. Rubble and corpses were strewn around the gaps. The Stonebound marched closer. The gun batteries had been destroyed, torn apart. The putrid smells of burning and corruption hovered in the air. Captain Delrun suddenly hissed to Roclan;

 

"There is something in the Fortress still. I saw movement within."

 

"Survivors?" Captain Urthand said, hopefully. Roclan shook his head.

 

"Doubtful. Delrun, take your assault marines. Come in over the back wall. Urthand, ready the bike squads. If anything tries to flee, I want it ground beneath your wheels. I'll take the rest and be ready to move into the breach as soon as there's trouble.

 

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

 

Aboard his personal ship, Maluk paced back and forth. His surviving bodyguards sat forlornly in the passenger bay. Keja stood on the bridge with Maluk, watching out of the window with a far-away look in his eyes.

 

"How did you not foresee these reinforcements?" Maluk growled. "You're supposed to be a seer, aren't you?"

 

"I was exhausted. I had to expend considerable energy breaking down those damned walls because you wouldn't heed my plan. I had no energy left to scry." Keja said, wearily.

 

"Pitiful excuses. If we are discovered, the days of the Rift Lords as a phantom legion, the fearsome ghost of the Segmentum Pacificus, are over. We cannot allow it." Maluk snarled. "And why haven't we taken off yet?"

 

"Because we need to know that the Loyalist dogs have taken the bait." Keja sighed heavily. "Otherwise, they'll turn their attention to us. We don't know how many ships they have - something's blocking our communications with the Nightwake."

 

Maluk paused at that news. Nightwake was the ancient battlebarge the Rift Lords had captured from another warband not long after Maluk had taken up the mantle of Firstblade. It was his favourite prize, even after all these years.

 

"You don't think our ships are in danger, do you?" He said, a minute quaver of uncertainty in his voice for the first time that night. Keja picked up on it, but was too weary to taunt Maluk.

 

"No. If that was the case, they'd have attacked the ships before making groundfall. Then they would have come after these ships, too."

 

Maluk paced back and forth restlessly. Keja closed his eyes and sat back in the chair. Maluk continued to pace back and forth, muttering to himself. Keja shook his head.

 

"Cease your pacing, Maluk. I'm trying to concentrate."

 

"And what would you have me do instead, Sorceror? My warband lies on the brink of discovery by the wretched Imperium. My ships may even now be floating ruins, whatever you might think. The end looms large for us. So what would you, great Sorceror, have me do?" Maluk yelled. Keja let a slow smile spread across his face before responding, his eyes still closed.

 

"The same thing I always advise. Patience, Maluk. Patience."

 

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

 

Captain Delrun led his squads around the back wall. They waited for a short time, making sure they had not been seen or otherwise detected by whatever remained inside the Fortress.

 

"Warriors of the Stonebound - take to the skies!"

 

At Delrun's order, four score jetpacks thrummed into life, and the marines ascended, soaring above the Red Fortress. Delrun let out a surprised yell at the sight of the desecrated Fortress Monastery. The second thing to catch his eye, however, was the hundred-odd Rift Lords scurrying for cover. He activated a vox link to Roclan and Urthand, barking a sentence.

 

"Traitors inside the Fortress. They've done far worse than killing here today."

 

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

 

Keja's eyes snapped open, and he leaned forward, pressing a button that opened communications with the other grounded ships.

 

"The time is right. Fly, Rift Lords! To the stars!"

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

 

The second battle of the Red Fortress was, in many ways, a mirror image of the dying stages of the conflict that had taken place only days before. The Stonebound were brutally effective, marching through the breaches and crushing the traitor forces behind their makeshift defences with overwhelming force. The few who managed to escape the battle did not get far - Captain Urthand and his bikers rode them down with terrible cries of vengeance on their lips.

 

In the aftermath, entire squads were dedicated to the destruction of the grizzly, unholy monument erected by the Rift Lords. Dreadnoughts and predators were attached via grapples to the rubble, and they tore it asunder, with marines standing by to purge each part of the rubble with fire, to remove any taint.

 

Roclan stood apart from the others, his heart heavy with grief. He had picked up a helmet that had once belonged to a Techmarine, by the looks of it. One of the eye lenses was smashed, the faceplate beneath it covered in blood and burn marks. There was a noise behind him, and Roclan turned quickly, axe in hand. However, it was only Sergeant Daras.

 

"Captain. Our scouts sighted a phalanx of enemy ships retreating. It seems the ones responsible for this atrocity have no appetite for further battle."

 

Roclan nodded grimly.

 

"Admiral Denkin should be arriving in a matter of minutes," Daras continued. "He's got a sight more than eighteen vessels - it promises to be a short fight." Daras continued. Roclan nodded in satisfaction.

 

"Good."

 

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

 

"Imperial ships closing in, Firstblade."

 

Maluk, now safely back aboard the Nightwake, gave an involuntary start.

 

"What?"

 

"Enemy vessels, Firstblade. What should we do?"

 

Maluk glared at Keja.

 

"You said the reinforcements would be too busy fighting the decoy force we left behind to notice us."

 

Keja shrugged, supressing a momentary feeling of panic.

 

"The day's combat required me to draw on reserves of energy I prefer to save for scrying, Maluk. It was your recklessness that forced me into exerting all my power on those walls."

 

"So much for your marvellous plan, Sorceror." Maluk sneered. "How many ships?"

 

"At least thirty, honoured Firstblade. What are your orders?"

 

Maluk hesitated, but only for a moment.

 

Eighteen ships against thirty are not favourable odds. Sound the retreat."

 

Keja turned away, staring into space with a faraway look in his eyes. The future, usually so open to him, and full of possibilities, seemed somehow dark, and narrow. He shuddered.

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

 

Back aboard the Arn, Captain Roclan took the news from Admiral Denkin with careful neutrality. The enemy had only lost three ships to the Navy's attack, but they were actually headed further into Imperial space, where tracking them would be a relatively simple matter. He relayed the news to the other Captains, then turned to Sergeant Daras.

 

"This loss will not go unavenged, Sergeant." Roclan said, breathing heavily. "When the rest of the Chapter hears about this... There will be no place those traitors can hide. No bastion, no matter how secure, will shelter them from our wrath."

 

Roclan turned back to the screen, once more displaying the planet of Throka. His hand rested on the salvaged Techmarine's helm, now cleaned and polished, though still missing the eye lens.

 

" 'Rift Lords', they called themselves." Roclan spat the words out, angrily. "I heard them shouting their wretched name when giving their frantic orders as we crushed them., Well, by the Emperor, Khan, and the spirits of the Red Sabres - I swear we'll keep hunting until the name 'Rift Lords' is forgotten, and every last one of those damnable, cowardly traitors is dead."

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

End

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

 

 

Well, there we have it.

The event that sparked a still-continuing feud between the devious, malicious Rift Lords and the determined, stoic Stonebound.

 

Hopefully anyone reading this isn't too bored to comment on it - although, actually, if you are, say so and I'll try and think up something more exciting. :lol:

 

Anyway: Thanks for reading! ^_^

 

 

EDIT: I was right. Damnable typos.

EDIT EDIT: And thanks to Aquilanus and Reyner for assistance in my crusade against said typos.

[Aqui]

Sorry to be the bearer of Damnable Typos but:

 

"Leave me, my Riftmarks." Maluk sopke to the Riftmarks, but continued to stare at Keja.

 

"I don't know what to make of it.How many ships?" - Space between sentences.

 

They also had a greater effetive range

 

The palnned surprise attack

 

If tanything tries to flee

 

At Delrun's order, fourscore jetpacks - space between four and score

 

There may be more, but it's something to keep you going for now :lol: I like the story too ;)

[Ace Debonair]

Sorry to be the bearer of Damnable Typos but:

 

Well caught. Your contributions to my anti-typo crusade are gratefully recieved. ^_^

 

I like the story too ^_^

Always a bonus. :P Cheers for the readthrough. ^_^

[Reyner]

I liked this alot, loved the interaction between Maluk and Keja. It has pushed me to start my IG2011 story.

 

Saw a few typos so I'll join the crusade:

 

His free hand grabbed at Garret's armour, catching him under the shoulderpad and pulling him from his bike.

Change to shoulder pad?

 

Three whole comapnies of the Stonebound lay at his command.

Companies

 

"How did you not forsee these reinforcements?"

Foresee I think

 

So what would you, greast Sorceror, have me do?"

Curse those typos.

 

Delrun let out a surprised yell at the sight of the desecrted Fortress Monastery.

Missed the "a"

 

Keja's eyes snapped open, and he leaned forward, pressing a button that opened comunications with

communications

 

The enemy had only lost three ships to the Navy's attack, but they were actaully headed further into Imperial space,

actually

 

"By the Emperror, Khan, and the spirits of the Red Sabres -

He'll get you for that one.

 

 

Hope that helped, just pasted it into word and it caught them.

[Ace Debonair]

I liked this alot, loved the interaction between Maluk and Keja. It has pushed me to start my IG2011 story.

It was the most fun bit to write, so I'm glad you liked it. ;)

 

Saw a few typos so I'll join the crusade:

It's a long war, I should warn you.

 

That said, I need all the help I can get, so the more type-saders I can recruit, the better. :lol:

"By the Emperror, Khan, and the spirits of the Red Sabres -

He'll get you for that one.

I just recieved an angry letter from representatives of the Big Man. It seems they are not amused. ;)

 

Hope that helped, just pasted it into word and it caught them.

Ah, Word.

A powerful ally. I'll need to make more friends with the AdMech before they allow me to make use of it for my crusade, though.

[Dark Apostle Thirst]

As storytelling goes...

 

Maluk was wearing terminator armour during the battle? Bike + Terminatour armour = Terminatour armour with scratched paint.

 

Also, the 'in his schock had a perfect defensive stance' should be changed to adopting a perfect defensive stance reflexively. Much less 'just happened', and you really don't want any 'just happened'. Plot tools are plot tools, funnily enough I think you understand what I mean :rolleyes:

 

Other than that... Maluk and Keja should run like blood when they realise the Stonebound have shown up. None of this waiting to see if it worked nonsense. They are cunning and that means they have self-preservation written in their character naturally.

[Ace Debonair]

As storytelling goes...

 

Maluk was wearing terminator armour during the battle? Bike + Terminatour armour = Terminatour armour with scratched paint.

 

Also, the 'in his schock had a perfect defensive stance' should be changed to adopting a perfect defensive stance reflexively. Much less 'just happened', and you really don't want any 'just happened'. Plot tools are plot tools, funnily enough I think you understand what I mean :D

 

Consider it edited. The bike now catches Maluk before he has time to get his footing after dodging Garett, who even in his stunned state has automatically adopted a defensive stance. ^_^

 

Other than that... Maluk and Keja should run like blood when they realise the Stonebound have shown up. None of this waiting to see if it worked nonsense. They are cunning and that means they have self-preservation written in their character naturally.

 

Ah. Methinks I've failed to communicate the idea properly there. Keja's plan is for the Stonebound to attack the decoy, and hopefully get so caught up in the fight they won't be looking for other Rift Lords, who promptly leg it.

 

I'll add a bit directly stating his plan, because it occurs to me that I somehow didn't do that the first time around. ;)

 

 

EDIT: Did that.

Also added in another couple of lines that I felt were missing, as well as adding some italics that went missing in the transfer to the forum. :pinch: