seaglen Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 ok, heres the thing.... im looking to write up more fluff for my Sons of Deliverance chapter, and am trying to work out ideas for recruiting innitiates... I have a vague idea about the way in which innitiates are chosen, but want to run it past you lovely critics first. Basically, the premise of the recruiting world is one which has a large hive city on it. this city is walled and enclosed, with the populace following strict traditions of routine and lifestyle. the amount of children is limited, and every 19th son is taken away to military training camps located on the lower levels of the city. out of these young aspirants, many end up in service to the local imperial guard force, as commanders or officers. those that show exceptional promise are sent into the ash wastes surrounding the city. (at this point i am trying to work out a motive or task for the young innitiates). Once said task is completed, the potential inniates must climb to the top of a sacred mountain, and it is there that they encounter the final test to becoming an innitiate of the astartes. throwing away the past human life by effectively jumping into a chasm. the chasm itself has been maintained by the sons of deliverance, and out of sight (due to the depth of the canyon and the darkness) is a remote teleportation device, which activates and teleports innitiates to the astartes training outpost. The significance of this jump is to shed the humanity forever, and arrive at a "new eternal life" as astartes training begins. any feedback or help would be appreciated, especially with regards to the use of "remote teleportation". many thanks! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/222352-innitiation-rites/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
Generating Random Name... Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 They could be sent to the ash wastes to find *something* (Possibly placed by the chapter), why are the ash wastes here aswell? *cough* Nuke? *cough* I like the Idea of jumping of a cliff to "Shed your humanity" is a good idea, but when you enter the Teleporter at the speed you will exit it and go *Splat* so you may want to say something about (Inertial?) dampeners. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/222352-innitiation-rites/#findComment-2657860 Share on other sites More sharing options...
soddinnutter Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 I like it. For the most part. But every 19th child? For the entire military? How about every male is taken at the age of 12 to begin military conscription. Upon completion at the age of 20 the survivors are returned beck to normal life. Only those who survive and get a passing grade are allowed to father children, thus keeping the population strong. Outsiders are welcomed, provided they can pass the military training. Because new genes are needed occasionally. The very, very, very best are taken away and given a choice to receive 'additional training'. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/222352-innitiation-rites/#findComment-2657880 Share on other sites More sharing options...
BloodWulf Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 Couldn't the task for the young men just be to find and climb the sacred mountain? Perhaps they are given the bare essentials for which to survive and some vague instructions on where the mountain is?? I agree that the whole "19th son" thing seems overly complicated. Also the way it is written it appears that all the youths who make it out of the lower level training camps joins the Guard and becomes an Officer of some sort. I would just remove that bit. maybe make it something like young males that are chosen for military service are sent to the lower levels for training. nearly all that complete the training are sent to become the PDF or into an IG regiment. A very small few who show certain traits are sent out to the wastes to be further tested and these are the few who might make it to and up the mountian to be taken by the Marines for possible induction. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/222352-innitiation-rites/#findComment-2658261 Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightrawenII Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 Read this: Calpulli and Telpochcalli & Calmecac. The jump is very good idea. :) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/222352-innitiation-rites/#findComment-2658393 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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