IA: Angels of Deliverance

[Mattias]

Greetings Liberites, I would appreciate some feedback on my WIP IA: Angels of Deliverance.

 

I should add a note at the start regarding the fact that they are currently a second founding Dark Angels successor. I did ask for feedback on this as a possibility and a number of very good objections to the idea were raised which caused me to go back and analyse my reasons for wanting to make them a second founding chapter. I realised that my reasons came down to two points, firstly that I feel that due to the Dark Angels background a lot of the power of the events is lost if a chapter is from a later founding (e.g. my brother betrayed me vs. the brother of my ancient ancestor betrayed him) and also a personal dislike of the idea that the Dark Angels would pass on the secret to their successors (they are all about restricting sensitive information and limiting the numbers that know, not increasing them). Secondly that my chapter would diverge from the Dark Angels and it's successors in their beliefs and there has to be a reason for this, the best way in my opinion is simply to have them react to the events of Caliban in a slightly different way, this would be based on personality after all. If it was a later founding then what reason would a successor have to question the Dark Angels beliefs or way of doing things.

 

As such I intend to keep them as Second Founding for the moment, please wait until the whole IA is posted before commenting on this aspect of it.

 

Anyway please bear with me while I post the different sections up as I am still writing them.

 

 

 

 

IA: Angels of Deliverance

 

Origins:

 

When this Chapter was founded goes unrecorded in the Imperial histories and the first definitive record of the Angels of Deliverance dates to the middle of the thirty second millenium. It has been speculated that this could be as a result of the incomplete nature of Imperial records following the turbulent events of the Horus Heresy. As well as the possibility that due to the insular nature of the the successors of the Dark Angels and the similarity of their heraldry that the Angels of Deliverance may have been incorrectly identified as another of the successors or perhaps the Dark Angels themselves in any earlier actions.

The Chapters own traditions state that they were formed during the Second Founding when Chapter Master Barakiel, Master of the 4th Chapter and Marshal of the Order was given the honour of leading the newly formed chapter.

Much of the Chapter's character and beliefs can be ascribed to this influential figure, a native Calibanite and proud knight of the Order before joining the Dark Angels he was profoundly affected by the events that occurred in the final days of Caliban. Whilst he felt the sense of betrayal and the violation of his honour common to all Dark Angels at the Fallen's actions, he also felt ashamed of the way that their fury had blinded them to their duty to the people of Caliban and that their actions had resulted in the destruction of their home planet and the deaths of the many millions who had relied upon them for protection.

Having broken their oaths to protect the people of Caliban the only way to regain their honour was not only to find and deliver the remaining Fallen unto justice but also to never again fail in their duty to protect the people of the Imperium. To this end the Angels of Deliverance embarked on a penitent Crusade, shunning all accolades and glory, focused only on their twin duties of retribution and protection in the hope of one day restoring their honour.

[Ferrata]

I would maybe suggest starting it with something like this:

 

Although their name does not appear on the slates of the Aprochrypa of Davio, the Angels of Deliverance claim themselves to be borne from the Dark Angels legion at the end of the Horus Heresy. Their own legends tell of a Company Master, Barakiel of the Fourth, honoured with the rights of command by the Lion himself. Whether or not these sagas are true, the teachings of Barakiel have had a resounding affect on the Angels to this day. [go on to talk about Barakiel a little bit]

 

In 40k, believe to be and legends say means it is, but it allows some wiggle room for you to play in. The concept sounds cool enough, a DA chapter that feels quilty and ashamed because they destroyed Calbian and not dirty and dishonest because half of them fell. Good work :P

[soddinnutter]

Deliverance is the home world of the Raven Guard

 

2nd founding is off limits as GW have called dibs on it.

[Ferrata]

2nd founding is off limits as GW have called dibs on it.

I should add a note at the start regarding the fact that they are currently a second founding Dark Angels successor....As such I intend to keep them as Second Founding for the moment, please wait until the whole IA is posted before commenting on this aspect of it.

I'm guessing a discussion about whether or not this chapter should be 2nd Founding is all a little moot at this point. I would suggest either forgetting about it and moving on just to save everybody the time and effort :P

[Ecritter]

Okay, only thing I have to say on the 2nd Founding issue is this. By using a "Knight of the Order" as inspiration I assume you're having him be part of the original group to make up the Chapter. Since those Knights never became 'true marines' but were still enhanced, I don't see him surviving till the 3rd Founding. So that would pretty much lock you into the 2nd Founding. Someone correct me if I'm wrong please.

 

As for the rest, they seem like any other Dark Angel successor at the moment, so not much room to add. I'll be watching to see if I can add in the future.

[Aegnor]

I see Deliverence and hear banjos and chuckling yokels. :lol:

 

More seriously, good enough start, but I think Ferrata's advice re: putting some wiggle room by saying that its the chapter's belief or traditions that their founder was etc etc, will see this much better received.