IA: Void Hunters

[Direach]

I created the Void Hunters for an appearance in my Rogue Trader game, but I liked them enough to develop them as an actual chapter. I hope you like what I have so far, I will add more when time and my attention span allows.

 

Edit: Clarified a number of "unknowns", added Operations and Notable Actions, expanded Homeworld, Chapter Cult, and Organization.

Edit: Expanded Combat Doctrine, Chapter Cult, and Wargear, added Relations with the Imperium, minor edits.

Edit: Expanded Homeworld.

 

VOID HUNTERS

http://img25.imageshack.us/img25/2331/voidhunter2.jpg

 

Chapter symbol:

http://img37.imageshack.us/img37/1897/eightpointstar.png

 

Founding

The Chapter was generated from Ultramarines stock, and invested during the 24th Founding. Like several other 24th Founding chapters, the Void Hunters were intended to serve as mobile fast-response strike forces in the segmentae in which they were based.

 

Homeworld

The Void Hunters were initially granted the remote, uninhabited world of Stheno IV in the Crusanus sector in Segmentum Obscurus, but later shifted to fully fleet-based operations, most likely between 600-800.M40. Stheno IV was subsequently converted from a base of operations to a primary training facility for Void Hunter recruits.

 

The Void Hunter

Edited February 28, 2011 by Direach

[Ferrata]

Overall it is pretty good but there is one thing that really ruins it for me. "Unknown". It appears too many times and it rarely comes across as a good thing. Take a look:

Overview

The Void Hunters are an Astartes chapter operating primarily in the Segmentum Obscurus of the Imperium. They are deep-space combat and boarding action specialists operating from a fleet of unknown size and strength. The Chapter is reclusive, and guards its secrets carefully.

 

Founding

The Chapter was generated from Ultramarines stock, and invested during the 24th Founding. Very little else is known, except that they (like several other 24th Founding chapters) were intended to serve as mobile fast-response strike forces in the segmentae in which they were based.

 

Homeworld

The Void Hunters were initially granted the remote world of Stheno IV in the Crusanus sector in Segmentum Obscurus, but later shifted to full fleet-based operations, most likely between 600-800.M40. Stheno IV is still guarded by automated gun platforms and sentry vessels, but long-range scans by the Inquisition show no life or activity on its surface. The state of the Chapter’s original fortress-monastery and holdings are unknown.

 

The Void Hunters currently operate from a fleet of unknown size and composition somewhere in Segmentum Obscurus. Void Hunter vessels that have been observed conform to typical strike cruiser profiles, although with unusually heavy shielding and significantly enhanced engine signatures.

 

The Imperial Navy participated in a joint action with the Void Hunters against an Ork-laden space hulk incursion in the Vaxanide system of the Calixis sector in 815.M41. Imperial Naval records show that an enormous vessel of unknown configuration, larger even than an Emperor-class battleship, was detected on the edge of the Vaxanide system. Three Firestorm-class frigates dispatched to scout and scan the unknown vessel were immediately warned off by the Void Hunters. The unknown vessel has not been sighted or detected since.

 

I would suggest you make these unknowns either knowns or develop them further. Unless you take unknowns to core themes of the chapter (a la Blood Raven gene-seed) then it comes across that you couldn't be bothered to explain or decide on a certain matter and just through in unknown. It is rather simple just to add that extra depth to the chapter that makes them seem more real.

 

The state of the Chapter’s original fortress-monastery and holdings a seems to be one of stagnation. Although abandoned and desserted, it seems not to be decaying or falling into dissary.

 

Just a little simple line that now makes the reader feel more attached to your chapter instead of just feeling left out in the void :)

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

Just a little simple line that now makes the reader feel more attached to your chapter instead of just feeling left out in the void

 

I see what you did there. ;)

 

The amount of unknowns, as Ferrata rightly pointed out are a bit annoying and break the suspension of disbelief quite effectively, which isn't a good thing.

[Direach]

Noted, and some of it will be clarified; I'm deciding what to keep vague and what to spell out. Once you say "it's like this" it's a lot harder to change it later (unless you're GW). There will be more posted later today after I mull it over a bit.

[Ferrata]

Once you say "it's like this" it's a lot harder to change it later (unless you're GW). There will be more posted later today after I mull it over a bit.

Nah, it is called editting. My Wings of Death are on about storyline four maybe, whilst the Imperial Castellans move from Imperial Fists to Ultramarine gene-seed. The Dark Sons had a planet change. You can change your chapter when ever you wish, but it is better to have certain pillars to act as your foundations :teehee:

[Direach]

Edited and expanded, a lot less is "unknown" now. :cuss Except for their mysterious flagship (the existence of which we cannot confirm or deny); I want to leave that vague.

[CantonWC]

Question: What code did you use to get that nice navy blue? I've been experimenting with trying to get a good navy blue for my own Chapter.

 

Will come back later and try to do criticism.

 

CWC

[Direach]

That blue is hex code #06124a. I think it's closer to indigo than navy blue (which has a bit more grey in it), but if you like it, take it. :)

[CantonWC]

I've just been trying to find a nice dark blue. Never mind, I just looked it up on Wiki and I found out I can just look up the hex code for the shade of blue I want :)

[Direach]

I'm probably going to use Mordian Blue as the base colour for my minis, which is a bit different from what's pictured, but the end result is going to be very close. I think. I'll know soon enough!

[Direach]

Added the account of the Void Hunters' founding mission; it was too long to include here, you can read it here. I hope you enjoy it!

 

Also added more Homeworld detail.

Edited February 24, 2011 by Direach

[Direach]

Expanded Organization and slight addition to Relations with Others. I hope this all seems cool; it seemed cool while I was writing it. :tu: Being optimistic, I take lack of biting criticism as enthusiastic approval, so thank you!

[NightrawenII]

Being optimistic, I take lack of biting criticism as enthusiastic approval, so thank you!

:P

Let see....

 

The Void Hunter’s homeworld also supports one of the most extensive and powerful orbital observatories in the segmentum, known as the Transopticon.

~

This vessel has been detected several more times in proximity to large-scale Void Hunter operations, and is believed to be their true Chapter flagship. The Void Hunters have neither confirmed nor denied this, but have on all occasions forbidden other Imperial vessels from approaching. Pict-data and extreme range scans suggest that the vessel may be a pre-Imperial star fortress, based on comparisons to wreckage recovered from the space hulk “Lingering Echo” in 850.M27.

~

The Void Hunters have a strong mystical leaning, and rely heavily on astromantic augury to divine their targets and plan their actions.

- Why?

 

In addition, the Void Hunters express multiple minor but consistent mutations in other implants, resulting in physiques that are well-adapted to fighting in zero gravity and void environments with no measurable degradation to their performance in standard gravity environments.

- Really? The gene-seed mutations reeks of Mary Sue.

 

Those who have dealt with senior members of the Chapter report that it seems as if the Void Hunters already know how a conversation will transpire and what will be said, and that instead of conversing they are simply waiting for their queue to speak their part. This seeming prescience is unnerving to some and irritating to many, particularly other Astartes.

B)

 

... and the entire Chapter is known to assemble here at 200-300 year intervals. According to Mechanicus surveyor satellite records, these gatherings always coincide with increased activity within the Stheno primary.

- Why?

 

In any engagement, the Chapter’s Astronomers are constantly monitoring the stars and in some case the Warp currents, divining the outcome of local events as they happen. When their auguries indicate that disaster or failure is looming, they will withdraw to avoid the danger, and resume their attack when the stars favour their actions. To an outsider, this can seem chaotic, even cowardly, but the Void Hunters do not act randomly. Their understanding of astral portents is profound, and they know that they ignore the signs of the stars at their peril. Every Chapter with serving Librarians has some ability to divine the future (and the present), but the Void Hunters have taken this art to the next level.

- To be honest, I can't see how the monitoring of stars might help you in war. Second, the portents are depressingly vague and ambiguous and even Eldar farseers, ie. the guys renown for their mastery in divination, are sometimes left in the dark. Be able predict anything with 100% accuracy is nigh to impossible.

 

The Void Hunters do not discuss their Chapter beliefs or rituals with any outsider, and reject the presence of the Inquisition at every turn.

- They cannot. The Inquisition has full right to poke its nose into the Chapter business. Any Chapter resisting the investigation is just asking for repression at best, being declared traitors at worst.

 

The Void Hunters hold such talented brethren in high regard, and it is traditional for the Captain of each Void Hunters Company to be raised from the ranks of the Astronomers. Likewise, their Chapter Master also serves as their Grand Astronomer.

- Why? The Astromers are better as the advisors.

 

The Astronomers act as oracles, advisors, sages, ritualists, and inspirational leaders. They also act as the representatives of the Emperor within the Void Hunter faith. Because of this, the Void Hunters make no distinction between the traditionally separate roles of Librarian and Chaplain, with the Astronomers filling both roles.

- The Chaplain's job is to keep the purity of Chapter in the check. Librarian are generally more susceptible to the predations of Chaos, therefore having a Librarian do the duty of Chaplain is bad idea. To be honest, the Astronomer-theme is going a little bit ridiculous.

 

The remainder of the First Company wear void-modified power armour.

- How? The Power Armour is capable of function in void by default.

 

While the total number of recruits selected by the Void Hunters is far lower than most Chapters, their success rate in producing battle brothers is also higher, allowing them to sustain their numbers.

- MISS(= Me, I'm so Super.) or explain their success.

 

When committing a boarding action, the Void Hunters will always attempt to disable or destroy any artificial gravity system aboard an enemy vessel first, before moving on to eliminate other targets.

- Why? Also, I have never heard about similar attempt in any GW publication, either it's no as easy as you think or the benefits of doing so are minimal.

[Direach]

I appreciate the feedback! I would like to know if there was anything you did like, but I'll reckon that anything not pointed out as problematic was, at least, acceptable.

 

The theme of this Chapter is of a Loyalist Chapter that is wandering dangerously close (or over) the edge of heresy (with the best intentions, of course). I suppose it's clearer in my mind than on paper since I know stuff I haven't written down, and because it's tough to decide what to spell out and what to leave vague. I'll try to bring out the theme more clearly.

 

The only criticism I outright disagree with is regarding the Inquisition. The Inquisition certainly has the authority to investigate a Chapter, but a Chapter is under no obligation to cooperate. It has long been established in canon and fiction that building and bringing a case against an Astartes Chapter is a difficult undertaking (unless they explode into flames or sprout horns). Most, if not all, Chapters resist Inquisitorial investigation and snooping. The Void Hunters have as much right to refuse an Inquisitor sitting in on their Chapter rituals as the Black Templars do when asked to line up for a head count. :unsure: If you see the Inquisition as an irresistible force that even the Astartes cannot defy, then we should agree to disagree on this point.

 

The Astronomer stuff is staying in, since it is a key part of the theme. I plan to add more history around it to give it more context; it's not like they were founded and said "Chaplains? Nah, we have these guys, we're good." It happened over a long time, which I did not explain (yet) while I was trying to get the basic stuff down. Likewise, their divination and Chapter beliefs need more fleshing out.

 

Many of your other points are sound, and I will address them when I have time for a more detailed editing pass. The gene-seed stuff in particular I meant to balance already, since it sounded way too "hooray for good mutations!", which was not the intent.

 

Thanks for the input, Nightravven. :)

[NightrawenII]

Most, if not all, Chapters resist Inquisitorial investigation and snooping.

Citation needed.

 

Edit:

Chapters aren't untouchable like many people like to think.

Size of the fish is measured by the size of the pond and in the pond of Imperium is one Chapter just one tiddler.

Edited March 2, 2011 by NightrawenII