First DIY Chapter

[Pack Master Kael]

This is my first shot at creating a chapter so please me know what you like, what you don't or what doesn't much up to GW fluff.

Thanx

EDIT: Changed color scheme slightly and cut down origin to hopefully a better size.

This is the color scheme I am planning on using for my Salamanders successors chapter Knights of the Inferno.

In 143.M41 Abaddon the Despoiler Launched his 12th Black Crusade from the Eye of Terror. After almost 20 years the Crusade was stopped in its tracks and Abaddon was forced to retreat back into the Eye of Terror. The Imperium reclaimed the worlds that they had lost to Abaddon and the crusade. The Segmentum, however, was still teeming with vile xenos, that had attacked while the Imperium was distracted with the Black Crusade, and remnants of the Black Crusade army that did not flee back into the warp. Shortly after the end of the Crusade the High Lords of Terra, acting on behalf of the Immortal God-Emperor, requested that the Adeptus Mechanicus of Mars create a new chapter to patrol the Segmentum Obscurus and help eliminate the threat of xenos and heretic presence in the area. The Mechanicus answered the call of the High Lords by creating Chapter 863 in the 25th Founding. With all of the rebuilding that was taking place following the black crusade the Mechanicus and the High Lords agreed that it would be best to create a more self sufficient chapter. Displaying great skills at the forge along with unparalleled tenacity in battle it was decided that the Salamanders would train a new chapter born from Vulkan’s geneseed.

The Chapter was granted two battle barges, Angel’s Descent and Spear of Wrath, and a small collection of strike cruisers from the masters of Mars. A cadre of Firedrakes along with a Chaplain, Librarian, Master of the Forge and Techmarine, and a few scout sergeants from the Salamanders were given the honor of training the nascent chapter. Since the chapter was operating under the command of the Firedrakes and had no official Chapter Master, they were simply referred to as their Imperial designation of Chapter 863. After 50 years of recruiting, training and accompanying Chapter 863 in combat the cadre of Firedrakes noticed one marine who stood out among the rest as a potential Chapter Master. Kar Azradorn was one of the first to join the ranks of Chapter 863. He displayed skills as a furious close combat fighter, being able to keep those around him disciplined and an unrivaled tactical awareness. The Firedrakes decided to give Azradorn battle command of their next engagement to see if the Chapter was ready to stand on its own. A week later Chapter 863 received a request for aid from the nearby Forge World of Synford, which was famous for its production of Baneblades.

A heretic cult had taken root in the hab stacks of the laborers. The local PDF and the armies of the Mechanicus could not dislodge the heretics from their fortified positions in the hab stacks. The heretics were even slowly gaining ground and so Synford pleaded for help from the Adeptus Astartes of Chapter 863. Azradorn gathered every battle brother and scout in the chapter, all 327 of them. A smaller force would have been capable of handling the mission but Azradorn did not want any to feel left out when they were fighting to prove themselves worthy of being an Adeptus Astartes Chapter of the Imperium.The heretics were crushed under the massive fire power that was wrought by the Astartes and the ferocity with which they fought. The Salamanders agreed that Azradorn and the Chapter were ready to stand on their own.

They instated Azradorn as Chapter Master and he presented the Firedrakes with a suit of ornate armor that the new Master of the Forge crafted as a token of thanks to their Salamander brethren. The Firedrakes captain in turn presented Azradorn with his master crafted thunder hammer, Vulkan’s Wrath, and storm shield as sign of respect for Azradorn and his new chapter. The ceremony started a tradition between the 2 chapters and now every time there is a new Chapter Master they present a gift to and receive a gift from the Salamanders. As the Salamanders departed to rejoin their chapter the scout sergeants elected to stay behind with the nascent chapter claiming it was their responsibility to train all who rise from Vulkan’s geneseed. Azradorn knew immediately that the new chapter should be named the Knights of the Inferno in honor of their parent chapter and the knights of their home world Coseflame whose courage and honor burn in the eyes of every one of his brothers. The adepts of Mars from Synford that attended the ceremony were so grateful to the Knights of the Inferno that they granted them a conversion beamer from the armory.

[Generating Random Name...]

This is my first shot at creating a chapter so please me know what you like, what you don't or what doesn't much up to GW fluff.

Thanx

This is the color scheme I am planning on using for my Salamanders successors chapter Knights of the Inferno.

Nice scheme!

The fighting was fierce down on the surface of Synford. It was bloody, brutal, close quarters warfare through the streets and buildings of the hab stacks but the Space Marines were pushing the heretics back and reclaiming the city one block at a time. Eventually Azradorn and his Honor Guard made it to the heretic’s base were they engaged the cult leader and a band of his most favored disciples. The Cult Leader was gifted the power of immolation by the Gods of Chaos which he used to sheath himself in a shield of fire that blocked every shot the Space Marines took at the Cult Leader. While the Honor Guard slowly slaughtered the pack of disciples Azradorn pushed his way through to the blazing Cult Leader. With his blot pistol useless and his chainsword lodged in a mutated cult member that he had gutted a few seconds before, Azradorn had only his fists to destroy the burning inferno that used to be a loyal servant of the Imperium. He let loose a great roar and charged towards the Cult Leader only to be blasted back by a surge of flames that sprung forth from the Cult Leaders hands. Seething with righteous fury Azradorn fought the figure engulfed by fire in hand to hand combat. He punched his hand into the abomination’s torso and with a litany of hate spilling from his mouth Azradorn tore the heretic in two. Azradorn tossed aside the chunks of the heretic and looked back as the other members of his squad descended upon the last remaining disciples. Watching his brothers dispatch the disciples with their blades he was reminded of the knights on their home world of Coseflame charging into battle and hacking apart their enemies. As the last of the disciples fell he clasped a gauntleted fist over his heart and screamed “Fight, Brothers, with Courage, with Honor and none shall stand against we, the Knights born from Vulkan’s Inferno”! Chapter 863 mopped up the last of the heretics on the planet and returned to the cadre of Firedrakes.

Not really nessecary to have this ammount of description, would possibly be more suited to a side box.

The adepts of Mars from Synford that attended the ceremony were so grateful to the Knights of the Inferno that they granted them a conversion beamer from the armory and 20 suites of terminator armor, one for every brother that fell reclaiming the forge world.

I'm not sure if they would actually gift the chapter this much stuff, just seems a bit much IMHO.

Ganf Magna

600 years had passed since the battle of Synford and the Knights of the Inferno had earned much honor and respect from the people of every planet they had fought on.

Did nothing important happen in this time? This battle could maybe be pushed back more towards the founding (Unless you have plans.)

On the 3rd day 4 full companies of the Knights of the Inferno descended upon Nasturn. They saw a sea of dead Orks laying outside the giant gate into the settlement, and they witnessed a huge mob of Orks rushing from the forests towards the gate. At the gate there was a small ring of Knights of the Inferno and all but one lone scout and Varcus, that were fighting a couple of Orks, was incapacitated or dead. The 4 Companies of Knights of the Inferno landed right into the thick of the Orks charging towards Nasturn. The Knights butchered the Orks as they came from the forest. When they reached the gate the scout was being handed the 1st company standard from the mortally wounded Varcus that had fought off his Sus-and Membrane sleep long enough to ensure that the banner never touched the ground. Right before he succumbed to sleep he said to the scout “You know young one, the way you fight reminds me of Chapter Master Azradorn back when I used to serve in his honor guard”. It was a sign of the great respect that Varcus had for the scout Vercon Kael to allow him, a newly incepted scout, to touch the coveted standard of the 1st company. Kael must have displayed great battle prowess along with vast amounts of courage and honor in order to earn so much respect from the Captain of Fist Company. The Knights of the Inferno scoured the planet of Orks with a fury unlike any other. They made every Ork they came across pay dearly for the death of their brothers and the loss of the entire 1st company. They ended their massacre of the Orks on Ganf Magna with the death of Jawrippa and his boyz on a final push into the Orks territory.

This also could go in a sidebox.

It's good, i think it may have been made a bit long winded with details and descriptions that would better suite a short story. But the days are still young and it is an impressive (and well done) first attempt :devil:

[CantonWC]

Erm, thank you for bashing my head in with a giant wall of text.

 

Just as an aside, I hate IA's that are not really IA's but story lines. I tried to skim it as best I could, what I gathered was a description of two major battles this Chapter was in and not much else. The battles are described in way too much detail and I didn't gather anything at all from these battles about the Chapter's character or how these battles contribute to their character.

 

To quote the Octaguide:

 

Battles are boring

Like the book says, in the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war. By the time anyone gets to your IA, they'll have read about a lot of battles. All writing about a battle does is provide them with something they've seen before, countless times, and distract from the points that are unique about your IA. Read GW IAs, and note how they talk about battles - they set the scene, explain briefly what happened, and talk about the aftermath and what that meant. The battle is important because of what it meant, not what happened in the battle itself. There is no point in planning out a blow-by-blow description of how your Chapter Master fought his archenemy - that's not what's important about that fight. What's important is why they were fighting, who won, and what that meant to later events.

 

We don't want to know how they fight battles, because that's the only thing Astartes do. We want to know who they are, not what they do.

 

CWC

[Pack Master Kael]

Ya I was worried after I was done writing that it was more short story and less IA. I'll work on trimming it back. Thanx for taking the time to read and reply.

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

I'm not sure if they would actually gift the chapter this much stuff, just seems a bit much IMHO.

 

Seeing that most chapters hardly have that amount of Terminator Armour after thousands of years of service, it is entirely over the top, in my opinion.

 

Terminator Armour is rare, extremely rare.

 

 

 

Also, it'd be helpful if you broke everything up into proper paragraphs. That and cut a lot out, superfluous information is superfluous, if it doesn't drive the article or speak to the character of your chapter it may as well not be there at this stage of writing.

[Direach]

I'd suggest you consider using a contrasting colour for the eyes, perhaps sky blue or a vivid green; It will break up the colour scheme a bit and make their faces more distinct. Likewise, the grey/silver bits (elbows, belt, wrists, helmet stripe) may look better if they're also red; it will make the grey/silver chest eagle stand out more.

[Pack Master Kael]

Direach thanx for the ideas. They certainly sound good in my head and I will have to play around with the painter a bit when I get the chance.