strongbow Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 Shadow Serpents • 26th founding • Fleet based (not yet identified a home world) • Imperial Fist geneseed • Whole force fought in 13th black crusade • Also in a campaign not long before • Been in the field relentlessly • Scout teams and forces scattered all over, become very independent • Aggressive and ambitious to the point of danger to the chapter’s existence The Sphyraena • 16th founding • Ultramarine geneseed • 95% surface water. Population on islands, tribal and often at war, hard life • Fortress monastery under water. Built into a huge underwater complex that obviously belonged to previous human settlers but for whatever reason was abandoned and the human population became feral. The chapter is still exploring it and often have to fight monsters which live there apparently without explanation. (sounded like an interesting thing to me but isn't necessary and can be dropped) • Ambushers, vicious, pick at targets. Guerilla fighters -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So yeah those are a couple of ideas for chapters. What I'm worried about is whether the names have been used before. I'm also very worried that the idea for The Sphyraena is very similar if not identical to the Space Sharks/Carcharadons :S Any feedback would be nice now to see whether either are worth fleshing out a bit. Cheers guys Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/223342-ideas-for-a-couple-of-new-chapters/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
soddinnutter Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 The Sphyraena Is a man not entitled to the sweat off his own brow? No, says the man on Terra, it belongs to the Emperor. No, says the man on Skalathrax, it belongs to the Dark Gods. No, says the man on T'au, it belongs to the people. I reject these answers. ...I chose the impossible. I chose... Rapture. A fortress where the librarian would not fear the deamon. Where the tech-marine would not be bound by the Cult of Mars. Where the spiritual would not be constrained by the materialistic. And with the sweat of your brow, our fortress can become your fortress as well. ― First Chapter Master Ryan Art Deco Everywhere. Big Daddies as failed aspirants. Splicers as the original inhabitants driven mad by mutation brought about by heretical gene-splicing techniques. Fotain/Atlus as a Tzneetchian sorcerer who is the bane of the chapter. It could work. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/223342-ideas-for-a-couple-of-new-chapters/#findComment-2670727 Share on other sites More sharing options...
strongbow Posted February 24, 2011 Author Share Posted February 24, 2011 Ah. Have I just replicated bioshock? Never played the game but after thinking about what you've written it makes sense (I know enough about the plot). I genuinely had no idea that I crossed into that boundary. I liked the idea but now I can't help but feel cheap :D. I don't want to just loot a game idea and put it into this universe. You really shouldn't have said this! :D Not really sure where to go with it now, if It's even worth going with it. Any thoughts? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/223342-ideas-for-a-couple-of-new-chapters/#findComment-2670768 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uprising Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 The Sphyraena • 16th founding • Ultramarine geneseed • 95% surface water. Population on islands, tribal and often at war, hard life • Fortress monastery under water. Built into a huge underwater complex that obviously belonged to previous human settlers but for whatever reason was abandoned and the human population became feral. The chapter is still exploring it and often have to fight monsters which live there apparently without explanation. (sounded like an interesting thing to me but isn't necessary and can be dropped) • Ambushers, vicious, pick at targets. Guerilla fighters -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So yeah those are a couple of ideas for chapters. What I'm worried about is whether the names have been used before. I'm also very worried that the idea for The Sphyraena is very similar if not identical to the Space Sharks/Carcharadons :S Any feedback would be nice now to see whether either are worth fleshing out a bit. Cheers guys I am not a fan of the first idea but if you want to persue the idea then change the name. It doesn`t sound vicious enough. I really like your second idea.(i came up with a simliar idea but drop it) I also think it very clever that you use latin for the chapter name but its always nice to have a low gothic(normal english) name aswell. To be honest i also see the Charcaradons as more of a killing blow type of chapter while i see Sphyraena(barraicuda) as more of a constant strikes. The fighting off random monster does sound alot like Bio Shock, if you like the idea just keep it, if not drop it. It`s up to you. Any thoughts on color schemes? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/223342-ideas-for-a-couple-of-new-chapters/#findComment-2670872 Share on other sites More sharing options...
strongbow Posted February 25, 2011 Author Share Posted February 25, 2011 The name for the first shapter was to indicate in part what I wanted to be a force that's too small for direct conflict so resorted to surprise attacks, ambushes etc. However that does contrast with what I've written as being an aggressive force which is dangerously close to its own extinction. I see what you mean. It needs a name that's more brash and direct. A quick go on the Chapter Name Generator gave me these: Brazen Crusaders Desolation Scars Blood Raptors Something I came up with: Iron Marauders Steel Marauders Blood Raiders Marauders may sound too chaos-y. Any preferences with those names? I'm leaning towards Blood Raptors or Brazen Crusaders now. You've hit the nail right on the head with what I thought about with the Spyraena as being constant strikes. Not attrition by any means, but regular, fast, hit and run attacks. That sort of thing. Yeah I think I'm going to drop the monster idea. Unfortunately at the back of my mind (what I now know to be the bioshock plotline) is that experiments created the monsters and that led people away from the city. Maybe they could fight internal automated defences instead, if anything at all. It isn't necessary. Although a part of me still does like it. Maybe something to hold on to for a while, the key is explaining why it's there if possible. Colour schemes? I have this one which intially I thought could work for either but I'm leaning it toward The Phyraena now: Thinking about Blood Raptors or Brazen Crusaders, here some ideas for both respectively: Has just occurred to me that the Brazen Crusaders scheme is largely identical to the Imperial Fists and looks a lot like the yellow some painters use for their fists :S Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/223342-ideas-for-a-couple-of-new-chapters/#findComment-2671110 Share on other sites More sharing options...
BloodWulf Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I would worry that your chapter sounds too much like the Space Sharks/Carcharodons. I think you can tweak it enough to make it seem quite different as long as you keep your eye on it. Keep the water world idea and just play around with it. With the number of video games, role playing games and sci-fi books out these days you will find most of your ideas aound like something someone else has seen or read or played. Just add your flavor to it and make it your own. What about the name Blood Reivers for your first chapter? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/223342-ideas-for-a-couple-of-new-chapters/#findComment-2671644 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uprising Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I would worry that your chapter sounds too much like the Space Sharks/Carcharodons. I think you can tweak it enough to make it seem quite different as long as you keep your eye on it. Keep the water world idea and just play around with it. With the number of video games, role playing games and sci-fi books out these days you will find most of your ideas aound like something someone else has seen or read or played. Just add your flavor to it and make it your own. While i don`t agree with Wulf first statement(they don`t sound too Carcharodons yet) borrowing things from other pieces of work is perfect ok. For My diy, i am using several ideas from movies, books and games to adapt them into what i like. I even went as far as name my chapter master Turok. :) My last question is why are youy doing two chapters at once? Why don`t you focus on one and build the army. Then see if you want another marine army. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/223342-ideas-for-a-couple-of-new-chapters/#findComment-2671666 Share on other sites More sharing options...
strongbow Posted February 26, 2011 Author Share Posted February 26, 2011 Thanks for the input guys, I think name-wise I'm going to go for the Blood Raptors, I think that's my favourite name and colour scheme. As for why two chapters? These are just some ideas I have that sounded interesting to me, I enjoy the fluff for it's own sake rather than building anything from it. There's a 99.99999% chance that neither will ever get built as armies. :P I haven't got access to IA10 yet so I currently have, and won't for the forseeable future, any idea if I cross too far into Carcharadon territory. I'll probably work on both simultaneously quite slowly, if I get bored or stuck with one I can move to the other for a bit and see what happens ;). Cheers again. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/223342-ideas-for-a-couple-of-new-chapters/#findComment-2672245 Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_son_of_Dorn Posted February 26, 2011 Share Posted February 26, 2011 i like the 2nd colour scheme, its not as smart as the first one (but i believeblue and white and silver has been done to death) hope that helps :D Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/223342-ideas-for-a-couple-of-new-chapters/#findComment-2672255 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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