A very short story

[Bewlay]

It may seem small, but it's my first time writing 40K fiction.

Not to ruin it to much, the story is based on the penultimate assault on a Imperial citadel by the NL former 12th company, the Weepers. If all goes well I might extend it.

 

The darkness kept. The shells ceased. All was quite. Men preyed to their corpse god for intervention, but they prayers were met only with silence. Their spirits waned, when suddenly a single bolt cut across the twilight sky. There was no thunder. Sound was dominated with heavy breathing. The wraiths that prowled the dusty floor while the hammer blow of artillery screamed, were coming again, this time to end. A single shot, the commissar’s gun smoking. Then the nightmares, in their horrific cascade fell upon the guardsmen. Raptors their claws bloody, plucked out helpless prey. Talons their image death, shot sparks of all colours. Silhouetted gun ships dropped an echo of darkness, its onslaught unstoppable.

Then came black hour. As the starlight remained sundered, the gloom slaughtered the defenders and the face of malevolence came into view. The shade intensified as the greatest shard of horror fell onto the battlements. With him came a group. They were cloaked, abhorrent masters of the umbra. His weapons gleamed an eerie purple glow and his dreaded mask showed the face of phantasm, the archfiend. This hellion had wings stained with the blood of ten thousand years and armour of the paramount times.

His daemonic visage produced a grin, and around him the men fell. His wings elevated him, the carnage began to disperse and he looked at the perished men’s superiors. His grin sustained, and he said, “I am the Bloodtear. We are the philosophers. We make sense out of the dread in your doubt. We utilise it, utilise it for our own means. You believe you can understand us; you use our methods of fear to ensure loyalty within your ranks. The new Imperium was created from our doctrines, our beliefs, our mistakes. Hence why we should destroy it.” He turned to his Astartes, his every word grasping them, “So come Night Lords, scream through the darkness; let them know we are here. Come Weepers let them cry crimson tears. For the Legion, for the Haunter, for the bleeding eye!”

 

So what do you think?

[Darkchild130]

To me it reads more like a poem than a straight up story.

I personally think of Night Lords as being more animalistic in their application of terror, being as they are all criminals and mimic their psychopathic primarch.

 

Just my observations.

 

Darkchild

[Bewlay]

To me it reads more like a poem than a straight up story.

I personally think of Night Lords as being more animalistic in their application of terror, being as they are all criminals and mimic their psychopathic primarch.

 

Just my observations.

 

Darkchild

 

 

Although I agree that some NL are criminals, my army (and as a result the story) is based around a more traditional NL way of attacking a planet. The idea of being totally insane to scare an opposition can be done with alot of SM armies, I perfer to make NL actually clever in their terror tactics.

[Sons of Horus]

I agree it seemed much more like a poem but it was alright. I just didn't really feel the fear as much as I would have liked.

 

I tried writing about PH Night Lords a long time ago but I never got to finish their story :P It's still around here somewhere, I hope. Yours was nice :)