Jgg Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 ------------------------------------------------- UPDATING ------------------------------------------------- Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/223757-my-first-chapter/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkchild130 Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 Daemons that hate daemons? Malal will come knocking on your door... Darkchild Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/223757-my-first-chapter/#findComment-2675558 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jgg Posted March 1, 2011 Author Share Posted March 1, 2011 Daemons that hate daemons? I knew somebody would mention that! :D I don't mean it as though they literally became Daemons themselves, just so taken over by rage and the desire for revenge that they only live to kill the Daemons. As for the reference of Daemons as the spirits of the dead, I looked up the meaning of the world prior to writing this which is where I got the idea, they fight for the spirit of their dead brothers. I know it's not the best, but is it any good for a first try? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/223757-my-first-chapter/#findComment-2675579 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkchild130 Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 I like the idea, but need more info. How many brothers are left? How do they fight? How do they maintain equipment/ armour? Ammunition? The basic idea is cool but I'm interested in the meat of it to make it seem believable. Good start imo. Darkchild Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/223757-my-first-chapter/#findComment-2675587 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jgg Posted March 1, 2011 Author Share Posted March 1, 2011 I like the idea, but need more info. How many brothers are left? How do they fight? How do they maintain equipment/ armour? Ammunition? The basic idea is cool but I'm interested in the meat of it to make it seem believable. Good start imo. Darkchild Yess, exactly what I was looking for man :D awesome. I'm glad you like the general idea of it. I thought I would write that short description of the chapter to summarise the origin, home world, creation etc all in one quick mini story. I will be adding the 'meat' to it very soon ^_^ Once I have thickened out the whole story behind my chapter, including everything you just mentioned, I will update this post, and will soon include pictures of my army once I can start painting it. Thank you! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/223757-my-first-chapter/#findComment-2675599 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jgg Posted March 1, 2011 Author Share Posted March 1, 2011 ------------------------------------------------- UPDATING ------------------------------------------------- Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/223757-my-first-chapter/#findComment-2675659 Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightrawenII Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Talus IV, the planet was quickly inhabited by the horde of daemons that had ran the Marines away. After time, the horde grew larger and ultimately the planet was slowly submerged into chaos. Talus IV is described as "Ruins", therefore it's not Daemon World. Second, the Daemons don't inhabit anything, their appearance in the material realm is often just temporal. Though lives were lost, the surviving soldiers became almost animal. This was no longer a mission of survival; it became a game... a hunt. With every passing day the Marines became more and more determined, each day brought new kills, more daemon scum wiped from the face of Talus IV... but it wasn’t enough. The very thought of the existence of daemons brought rage to their hearts. The rage slowly built up inside the Marines. Daemons... the foul creatures that destroyed their world, daemons... the spirits of the dead, of lost brothers. Revenge... revenge corrupts, revenge drives men insane, drives them forward. Determined to seek it, determined to embrace it. Hmmm, so they are Khorne Berzerkers in everything but name? Rage = Khorne. To be honest, this is not the best way to create Chapter, if you aren't creating Chaos Warband that's it. On the Colour Scheme. Ehm man, you have chosen the worst colour possible, the red. Majority of Chapters is red. You are going to disappear in such large crowd. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/223757-my-first-chapter/#findComment-2676170 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jgg Posted March 2, 2011 Author Share Posted March 2, 2011 Fair enough :P I know it's not the best, it was only my first time.. so i'll change it. And as for the colours, that doesn't really bother me.. I used to do my models in hawk turquoise and I wanted a change. Thanks for the criticism though, at least I know now to change it. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/223757-my-first-chapter/#findComment-2676211 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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