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Okay, I'll have a look through it for you.

 

Knights of the Inferno are Successors of the Novamarines first and foremost, and they take great pride in their Pure Geneseed. Founded in the most recent Founding, the 26th, the Knights of the Inferno focus on the rising T'au and Tyrinad presence in the Realm of Ultramar, having been fighting the T'au and Tyrinads for the few centuries of their existence. The Knights are well known for their actions against the T'au Expansions and Tyrinad Splinter Fleets, and understand their weakness' and strengths, and play them to their advantage. The Knights of the Inferno are also known for their righteous zeal and undying loyalty to the Emperor aswell as their want to see the Imperium Cleansed of the filthy heretics. In the first few decades of the chapters existence, they made their mark in Galaxy, by cleansing the Eudomius System of T'au forces.

 

1. So... What were they doing before the Tau and Tyranids showed up?

2.Tyranid is spelt wrong.

 

2 Vanguard Veteran squads are responsible for the founding of the Knights, as they performed countless hit and run actions against the T'au forces, destroying ammuntion depots and relaying crucial information back to the Novamarines during the Moracre Campaign.

 

To me this sentence is somewhat confusing, do you mean the Vets actually founded the chapter without anyone else knowing? Or that they were part of the team of trainers? Imho the first point would be a big no no, and the second one is unlikely because they would probably have a balanced cadre of trainers for all circumstances.

 

For this, they were given the honour of founding the Knights. Although not all Veterans went with the new chapter, several of them did including Cyprias Caesar, the first Chapter Master, aswell as __, Regent of Eudomius and 1st Company, __, Master of the Watch and 2nd Company, __, Captain of the 4th Company, and __, Master of the Recruits and 9th Company. The Novamarines supplied them with Armour, equipment, including 5 sets of Terminator armour, as well as 2 tanks, The Purifier, a Mk.II Landraider Redeemer, and Undying Justice, a Mk.III Predator. The Adeptus Mechanicus also gave them 7 suits, 2 donated from the Ultramarines, and 2 Battle Barges, Defensor Fidei, now lost, and Semper fidelis.

 

A bit too much name dropping here, how much of it really important to the chapter?

 

With him, he lost several suits of Terminator armour, along with 3 valued relics, something the chapter coould not afford to lose. What happened to Cyprias, his Brothers, the Defensor Fidei and those 3 relics, will never be known.

 

Why did he take a battle barge? It seems like overkill when a strike cruiser would have done, it might just be me though.

 

So now, all Chapter Masters of the Knights of the Inferno must change their last name to Caesar, in honour of Cyprias and his Lost Brothers.

 

I'm not sure about this, they have to change their last name "Caesar" because their chapter master disappeared with 3 relics, a battle barge and half the 1st company? Seems like a bit of insult to be names after someone who disappeared in not-so heroic circumstances, *hint hint*

 

Numerous times T'au ships had been spot on the edge of the Eudomius System, but the System* Governer kept this a secret, not wanting the populace to ever think they were in danger, that they were akways safe. But no-one knew they were landing forces on the death world at the edge of the system. Eudomius was once a small, peaceful Imperial system with a Forge World and a Agri-world. The small, busy Forge World made ammunition for Imperial Guard and Space Marine forces, while the Agri-wrold supplied rations. But that all changed when the T'au Expansion Coloney attacked. The once peaceful cities and forges became abandoned, looted wastelands. It was survival of the fittest. If you didnt accept the T'au and their "Greater Good" you were a dead man walking. At first, the Planetary Governer reinforced the capitol, Gavrus, leaving the other planet, Domitius, to fend for itself, dooming the population. This, however, was the Governers first Mistake.

 

As the cities were sealed, the T'au began to make preperations for the seige ahead. The hours turned into days, the days became weeks, until 4 months after the sealing of the city, the Governer realised that they were running low on supplies. The hit and run tactics the T'au were using was effective on the poorly trained PDF forces there. It was then, that the Governer sent a plea for help, but no response. The T'au had sabotaged their Communication Arrays. They were doomed. Doomed to to die from starvation, and it was all his fault. As the Public began to realise their fate, riots began to break out, all across the city. Stores were being looted, people were being killed. Garvus, and the Eudomius System, was dying.

 

But there was hope. The Battle Barge Semper fidelis of the Novamarines was helping cleanse the world of Moracre of T'au forces, when they noticed the distress signal coming from the Eudomius System.

 

Why? What does this add to your chapter? If you really want to keep it put it in a sidebar, nut as far as I can see it doesn't really add anything.

 

In Segmentum Ultima, near the T'au Empire, lies a small area of space known as

 

The Moon named Hephaestus, after the Ancient Terran God of Fire, orbits Moracre and serves the Knights of the Inferno as their base of operations. It is on Hephaestus that the chapters stores its most prized relics. The chapters archives are stored there aswell, holding information about the chapter that only the most Inner Circle of Knights have access to. This is where all the Initiates of the chapter will one day come to, so they can finish they're training as a scout, and become a Battle Brother, Chaplain or Libarian.

 

That "They're" should be their. I take it this isn't finished yet?

 

Granted that the Knights are Ultramarine Successors, but this doesnt mean that they have to follow the Codex Astartes to the letter. It is said in the Codex Astartes that a Chapter must have 10 Companys, 5 being Battle Companies, 4 being Reserve Companies and 1 Scout Company. The Knights however, only have 9 Companies, not seeing a need for so many Tactical reserve companies. The Brothers and Dreadnoughts that would be in this Company are permanently spread out across the other companies, bolstering them all. Besides from that deviation, there is not much else changed among the Organisation of the chapter.

Why have they done this? Or possibly who did this? One person, or did it happen over time?

 

Names and positions of brothers is as follows:

Chapter Master, Caesar

Master of Sancity, Julius Octavius

Head Libarian,

Captain of the 1st, Regent of Eudomius.

Captain of the 2nd, Master of the Watch.

Captain of the 3rd, Master of the Arsenal.

Captain of the 4th, Master of the Fleet.

Captain of the 5th, Master of the Marches.

Captain of the 6th, Master of the Rites.

Captain of the 7th, Chief Victualler.

Captain of the 8th

Captain of the 9th, Master of the Recruits.

 

Not all of these need to be mentioned, it could be cut down to: "As well as the organisational changes the Knights have given some ranks honorific names specific to their chapter, these are:

Chapter Master - Caesar

1st Captain - Regent of Eudomius

7th captain - Chief Victualler"

Also a little could be added to explain why this is.

 

Hate for Heretics and Hate for Xenos is very important to a Knight, as this is what drives them, this Hate drives them to achieve their best, to fight to the last man, to never give up. This is what makes a true Knight, a wish for their Land to be cleansed of the filfth that infests it. The Knights of the Inferno cleanse the Imperium with Bolter and Flamer, with Chainsword and Fist, while our Brother-Chaplains cleanse our souls from the horrors we see, the horrors we commit and they make us Pure, so that we can keep fighting the Heretic and Xeno, because without our Purity, we would be killing machines, never resting, never eating. But our Purity gives us a Purpose, a Meaning. Do not take these words lightly, as the Duty of Cleansing the Imperium and our Brothers is now a burden you must help carry, help fulfill so that the Citizens of the Imperium may sleep, knowing we will Serve and Protect." - Julian Octavius, Master of Sancity teaching young Chaplains.

 

This seems to change perspective about half way through, so he starts in 3rd person then switches to 1st/2nd when he starts speaking about chaplains.

 

The Knights of the Inferno stick to the Codex Astartes with only a few minor altreations. As mentioned, they have 9 Companies, not 10. They also field Veterans doned in Scout armour.

 

You've misspelt "Alterations", and "donned"

 

These veterans undertake specialized missions, like assassinating a ork Warboss, or sabotaging a Fuel Refinery. Whatever the mission, whatever the enviroment, these veterans a ready to take almost any risk to complete these missions, as it could turn the tiide of battle. Only a veteran is asked to go on these suicide missions

It seems a little strange to send your best people on "Suicide missions", it could be "Only veterans are asked to go on these missions because only they have the required experience and skill" Of course this would need a bit of work to fit with the rest.

 

 

Through Wisdom, there is Knowledge. Through Knowledge, there is Power. Through Power, there is War. And through War, there is Nothing, Nothing but the last Knight, and the Ground he stands on. And aslong as there is one of us left, there is still Hope, Hope for a better Future, Hope for the Imperium, and most importantly, Hope for Us. - The Teachings of Cyprias Caesar, First Chapter Master of the Knights of the Inferno.

 

This bit's good.

 

Being successors of the Novamarines, the Knights of the Inferno take great pride in being successors of Roboute Guilliman and his glorius Ultramarines. Therfore, the Apothecaries of the chapter will do everything in their power to retrive the Progenoids - or Geneseed, as it is more commonly known - from fallen Knights, as the geneseed will be untainted and unmutated. If a Battlebrother shows any signs of taint, or a crazy battle lust, he is recalled from service by the Chaplains to test his Mind, Will and Might for any traces of Taint. If the chaplains find any traces of taint, depending on how much, the Brother will be punished and questioned. In a worst case scenario, the battle brother will be disected by Apothicaries and Chaplains in training, so they will know what to look for in a corrupted Brother or corrupted Geneseed. If there is little to no taint, the brother is recalled from service for 1-3 years, to undergo further tests, and to re-affirm* his loyalty to the Emperor.

 

If there was any sign of taint the brother would be shot on sight, it's not something they take any chances with, the motto is "Shoot first, maybe ask questions later"

 

The Imperial Guard, Sisters of Battle and fellow Space Marine Chapters have all heard various Battlecrys, especially among the Veterans of the Chapter, but the one most commonly heard goes as follows:

Cry: "With Fire and Faith!"

Response: "We Burn and Cleanse!"

Chapter Master 's Battlecry: "We Shall Burn the Great Devourer, Until There is but Ashes and Waste!"

 

Veterans are given the honour of having their own battlecrys, although the highest ranking offical must say the offical battlecry, be it a Captain, Chaplain, Libarian, Sergeant, or even a Battle Brother, as the situation can differ greatly. The only exception to this is that the Chapter Master may recite* his own Battlecry, instead of chanting the offical one, and that Scouts are not yet given the honour until they are a full Battle Brother. There is much debate on why this is so, as many officals think the scouts *should have a battlecry, be it different or the same*, while others believe that they have not earnt the right to have a battlecry.

 

Imho it's a bit strange they don't have at least one unified battle cry that the whole chapter can use, with different people in the chapter using other ones as they see fit.

 

It's a good start, could do with some work. Sorry if I seem insulting, it's a bit early here :lol:

Ok, Ive editted bits and pieces of it, and changed a few things here and there. Also got rid of the BB-code so its easier to edit.

 

Being successors of the Novamarines, the Knights of the Inferno take great pride in being successors of Roboute Guilliman and his glorius Ultramarines. Therfore, the Apothecaries of the chapter will do everything in their power to retrive the Progenoids - or Geneseed, as it is more commonly known - from fallen Knights, as the geneseed will be untainted and unmutated. If a Battlebrother shows any signs of taint, or a crazy battle lust, he is recalled from service by the Chaplains to test his Mind, Will and Might for any traces of Taint. If the chaplains find any traces of taint, depending on how much, the Brother will be punished and questioned. In a worst case scenario, the battle brother will be disected by Apothicaries and Chaplains in training, so they will know what to look for in a corrupted Brother or corrupted Geneseed. If there is little to no taint, the brother is recalled from service for 1-3 years, to undergo further tests, and to re-affirm* his loyalty to the Emperor.

-If there was any sign of taint the brother would be shot on sight, it's not something they take any chances with, the motto is "Shoot first, maybe ask questions later"

 

Sorry, meant impurity, not Chaos kinda taint. :) Fixed.

 

Not all of these need to be mentioned, it could be cut down to: "As well as the organisational changes the Knights have given some ranks honorific names specific to their chapter, these are:

Chapter Master - Caesar

1st Captain - Regent of Eudomius

7th captain - Chief Victualler"

Also a little could be added to explain why this is.

 

Shortened, will add more backstory later.

 

Why? What does this add to your chapter? If you really want to keep it put it in a sidebar, nut as far as I can see it doesn't really add anything.

Its the story of how they got their homeworld, not yet finished.

 

-This seems to change perspective about half way through, so he starts in 3rd person then switches to 1st/2nd when he starts speaking about chaplains.

-A bit too much name dropping here, how much of it really important to the chapter?

-I'm not sure about this, they have to change their last name "Caesar" because their chapter master disappeared with 3 relics, a battle barge and half the 1st company? Seems like a bit of insult to be names after someone who disappeared in not-so heroic circumstances, *hint hint*

-2.Tyranid is spelt wrong.

 

All fixed.

 

1. So... What were they doing before the Tau and Tyranids showed up?

Mainly organising themselves, im fairly sure that the Ad-mech cant organise all 40 or so chapters in a decade. ;)

 

Thanks for pointing out my mistakes so far :)

If there was any sign of taint the brother would be shot on sight, it's not something they take any chances with, the motto is "Shoot first, maybe ask questions later"

 

What he was saying (or that I got) was probably more along the lines of "If they show any suspicious signs that might be taken as taint."

The SM are not the IG, and can not replace their numbers shot over suspicion. They actually probably have a long drawn out course of actions to determine that, starting with Chaplains, then moving to Librarians and psychic testing. They have a more drawn out set of trials to insure that it is not the innocent marine that gets purged.

Now if they actually SHOWED signs of taint, like horns or flat out, "I worship chaos," THEN they would shoot first. But otherwise, they want to make sure before they waste an extremely hard to get marine.

A corruption of that magnitude would most likely result in a chapter war between those loyal to Calgar and those loyal to the Emperor. Or like the chapter wars in the Soul Drinker chapter. It happens, but rarely, and when it does it will normally destroy part or all of the chapter (the latter more likely if the Inquisition gets involved).

 

What do you mean by the K N and stuff?

Finally, after an hour of re-doing all the bb-code, twice (closed tab when switching to bbcode help) I've fixed it. Also updated some things. :Troops:

 

Also, how does Knights Inferno sound for a name change.

 

Or, for that matter:

Inferno Knights

Inferno Warriors

I really doubt your computer did that without you telling it too.

 

Did you save the entire work to Word, make changes to the Word document, copy the Word document and paste it over the one here on B&C? That is the only way I know how to do it without getting errors.

If there was any sign of taint the brother would be shot on sight, it's not something they take any chances with, the motto is "Shoot first, maybe ask questions later"

 

What he was saying (or that I got) was probably more along the lines of "If they show any suspicious signs that might be taken as taint."

The SM are not the IG, and can not replace their numbers shot over suspicion. They actually probably have a long drawn out course of actions to determine that, starting with Chaplains, then moving to Librarians and psychic testing. They have a more drawn out set of trials to insure that it is not the innocent marine that gets purged.

Now if they actually SHOWED signs of taint, like horns or flat out, "I worship chaos," THEN they would shoot first. But otherwise, they want to make sure before they waste an extremely hard to get marine.

The thing is, I thought he was talking about the Horn sprouting, "Blood for the Blood God" type stuff.

 

Cool thing with the letters. I prefer the Knights Inferno.

 

Also, if you do exactly what Ecritter says it should work fine.

Oh yeah, that is understandable Gernerating.

 

DO NOT GIVE UP!

 

As for the, "unless you tell it to" comment, I dissagree. He has OBVIOUSLY angered the machine spirit. Keyboard, did you give the propper prayers to the Omnissiah before you began? It works 0.0

My thoughts:

 

Origins...

Founded in the most recent Founding, the 26th, the Knights of the Inferno focus on the rising T\'au and Tyranid presence in the Realm of Ultramar, having been fighting the T'au and Tyrinads for the few centuries of their existence. The Knights are well known for their actions against the T'au Expansions and Tyranid Splinter Fleets, and understand their weakness' and strengths, and play them to their advantage.

- Tau and Tyranids... Tau and Tyranids... Tau and Tyranids...

 

2 Vanguard Veteran squads were given the glorius honour of founding the Knights, thanks to their actions in the Moracre Campaign.

- Why only Vanguard Vets? The Novamarines are rigid followers of Codex Astartes.

 

The Novamarines supplied them with Armour, equipment, including 5 sets of Terminator armour, the battle barge Semper fidelis, as well as 2 tanks, The Purifier, a Mk.II Landraider Redeemer, and Undying Justice, a Mk.III Predator.

- The gift of equipment is a little bit questionable. It's task of Admech to give anything you need.

- The Battle Barge is incredibly powerful and rare ship in the Astartes arsenal. I don't think the Novamarines would give it to new Chapter.

- The list of equipment should be in sidebar since it's not very important.

 

so it was a sad day for the Knights of the Inferno when he disappeared around M41.140, near the system of Moracre.

- The date is wrong. M.42, but you are out of official time line. :P

 

The T'au Uprising of Eudomius...

Numerous times T'au ships had been spotted on the edge of the Eudomius System, but the System Governer kept this a secret, not wanting the populace to ever think they were in danger, that they were akways safe. But no-one knew they were landing forces on the death world at the edge of the system. Eudomius was once a small, peaceful Imperial system with a Forge World and a Agri-world. The small, busy Forge World made ammunition for Imperial Guard and Space Marine forces, while the Agri-wrold supplied rations. But that all changed when the T\'au Expansion Coloney attacked.

- Not this fallacy again... The Forge World is home of secretive and callous Adeptus Mechanicus and base of regiments of Skitarii and Titan Legion(s). The T'au are dead meat the moment they set their hoofs on the ground.

 

Btw, why "uprising"? Invasion or incursion is better word.

 

Homeworld

In this system, there are only 4 worlds, 2 of which are habitable. In orbit around Garvus, the Forge World, there lies 3 moons, Hephaestus, Ares and Hades. On Hephaestus, the largest of the 3 moons, there is the Fortress Monastery of the Knights of the Inferno.

- *sigh* No. Read the Guide to DIYing.

 

The 2nd largest moon, Ares, holds the Chapters Geneseed and Armoury. Though all Battle-Brothers know of this place, few are allowed entry.

- Logical fallacy. Why would you place your most precious stock, the gene-seed, outside of Fortress Monastery? The Gene-seed is your Blood, Heart and Soul, and is always on the most guarded place in fortress.

 

The Techmarines of the chapter are also trained here

- The Techmarines are trained on Mars.

 

Where do you recruit new marines?

 

Chapter Organistion

It is said in the Codex Astartes that a Chapter must have 10 Companys, 5 being Battle Companies, 4 being Reserve Companies and 1 Scout Company.

- Strange, my copy of Codex talks about Veteran Company as well... :)

 

Cheers, NightrawenII.

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