Astral Saviors

[Aegnor]

I like the colour scheme and the cloak/cape/tabard thingies. The idea of a chapter with an emphasis on vertical insertion is cool. As others have noted, that's how Marines often, perhaps even mostly deploy, but there is still plenty of scope to have it as an emphasis above and beyond the norm for your chapter.

 

Now for the feedback to help you tune this a bit (-_-) Why is it that the Chaplains are the ones in particular to turn? The entire purpose and selection criteria for a chaplain should make them the most unlikely to turn. I can see daemonic influence (which is presumably what the vision of Horus was) might turn a single Chaplain (although I'd generally expect them to be more resistant than the average marine), but I'd find it very surprising that this single Chaplain was then able to lead the other Chaplains to heresy. You might want to have a think about why the Chaplains in your chapter moved so diametrically away from what the role they are meant to play.

 

Also, I think there's some pronoun confusion in the section where your Chaplain approached the 7th Company captain. I found that a bit unclear, and had to re-read it a couple of times - and still wasn't quite clear on what had happened. You say that many other marines had been secretly influenced by daemons and thus wanted to rebel, but then it turned out he was only going along with them to entrap them? So are the marines of the 7th Company daemonically influenced or not.

 

You've picked, fluff-wise, a pretty tough enemy for your guys to have as their ongoing foe. Really, if they are regularly taking on daemonic incursions by themselves, they shouldn't be expected to be living very long. That's why the Grey Knights (btw, I think you may have mistyped it as Grey "Nights" in one spot) have all the special gear, training, and preparations as neophytes that they get - because battling daemons day in day out is beyond even the normal Astartes, from a point of view of surviving long term. Obviously Marines can and do fight daemons - when they're the first on the scene, when they don't have a choice etc. But in terms of being daemon hunters, they tend to leave that to the =I= and GKs where they can for precisely the reasons you've shown in your background - you tend to take terrible losses and have some of your forces becoming corrupted by what they've seen. Most Chapter Masters, with the advice of their Chaplains and Librarians, understand this enough to realise it's not a sensible use of their resources - not to be feared, but to be respected as a role that is best done by those with the specialist gear and training.

 

I'm not saying there's a problem with the Second Battle of Jurn as a pivotal event in their history - as noted, I'm certain that if a chapter of loyalist Marines is near a valuable world being threatened by a daemonic incursion, they will try to intervene, even if only to hold the fort til the =I= arrives. Hell, they'll often probably succeed, but I'd expect them to be massively damaged - as your guys were. Nor am I saying that your guys shouldn't take a special pleasure in taking out a daemon if they get the chance. But to have them chasing them would be a bit foolhardy, and likely draw concerns from the Ordo Malleus and GKs anyway, particularly should they ever become aware that some marines from the chapter have already fallen.

[Astral Saviors]

I decided the chaplains would be more likely to listen to a fellow chaplain about that sort of thing and they were all influenced by the daemons so it didnt take much of a push to get them to follow his viewpoint.

No the marines weren't daemonically influenced. Ive just looked back over it and it was a bit confusing ill probably re-write it saying that the chaplain THOUGHT they had been influenced but they hadnt actually been. I know it doesnt say that so ill change it. ;-)

They dont really go around hunting them they're just more than willing to be involved when any help is needed.

-----------------------------

Thanks that really helped me find some deep rooted problems ill probably have a little tinker around with it now. If you have any further questions then just post them and ill be happy to answer them.

[Banelord]

Beliefs

The chapter continued much in the same way for many years but at the Battle for Jurn their whole belief and quest was changed. A tear in the warp allowed a daemon legion of untold proportions laid waste to Jurn, a planet with close links to the Astral Saviours.

 

The Turning In the years after the Battle for Jurn the Astral Saviours went into mourning for their Chapter Master Sinon Falco. Vicconius Admantis the chaplain of the Astral Claws during this time searched into the depths of chaos out of an overpowering curiosity.

 

Just a suggestion, but would it make more sense if Vicconius was corrupted before the battle of Jurn? Then you could have him convert his fellow chaplains, which then could be the main cause of the rip in the warp and the following invasion. You could then say the vision of Horus the Warmaster was in fact the Daemon Prince in disguise, who could have corrupted Vicconius in the first place. This could also be a good reason to get rid chaplains, as after they would be seen as weak and easily corrupted by chaos. You could then have a “Dark Angle” style story of them trying to find Vicconius and his fellow traitors rather the seeking out daemons like the Grey Knights. Just a thought :P hope it helps!

[Astral Saviors]

I really like that idea and i can see how that would cancel out some problems with the background. The more I think about it the more i realise chasing daemons around isn't going to end well ;)

[Banelord]

I really like that idea and i can see how that would cancel out some problems with the background. The more I think about it the more i realise chasing daemons around isn't going to end well :tu:

 

No problem, you could even extend the idea with a general hatred for religion. I know this might cause problems with groups like the Ecclesiarchy but I just like just the idea of “atheist” space marines. :) But that might be taking it a bit too far. ;)

[Astral Saviors]

Ye i might be in a bit of trouble with higher powers if i go that far. We're bordering on renegade here. Maybe just have a dim view of the Ecclesiarchy and leave it at that :tu:. I like the idea of chasing the fallen chaplains through time and space though. Might expand the lowly background I have at the moment. In fact "The Battle for Betim Hive" seems a good place to start. Hmmm......

[Ecritter]

Actually there would be no trouble at all. The Emperor proclaimed that there was to be no religion ... so most SM Chapters don't believe.

[Astral Saviors]

Thank you for clearing that up. So an atheist chapter wouldn't be anything special then?

[Ecritter]

Thank you for clearing that up. So an atheist chapter wouldn't be anything special then?

 

They'd be pretty standard actually.

[Astral Saviors]

Just remembered that i havn't done a terminator on SM painter yet so I've tried it out. Not really that pleased with it so was wondering if anybody has any ideas for improvements. In my view he looks rather bland but nothing i change seems to work really. Any ideas?

[Brother Michaels]

http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c162/ecritter/astral.png

That's Hurons insignia, resembling his personal troops.

[Dremen]

There are two easy ways to get Terminators to stand out. Invert the color of thier armo to that of your rank and file or paint them another color entirely. You should remember to AS that your Terminators are verterans of the first company. Embelish them with purity seals or marks of valor of your own design. The army painters are great for determining color schemes but I find them slightly lackluster compared to putting real embelishments and paint on models, so play around a bit and find a way to make em stand out. I'm still waiting on pics of your rank and file btw ;;P

[Astral Saviors]

@Brother Michaels- :P Oh well i'll find something else :huh:

@Dremen- The pics of the rank and file are in the first post of this topic

[Ecritter]

Try these then, I made these myself so no one else is using them at all.

 

http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c162/ecritter/imagesCA0J1UESa.png

http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c162/ecritter/imagesCA0J1UES.png

 

They can easily be reversed if needed.

[Astral Saviors]

I really am astounded at your sheer originality with those designs. You really have a certain skill in making them pleasing to the eye. Thanks yet again.

[Ecritter]

I really am astounded at your sheer originality with those designs. You really have a certain skill in making them pleasing to the eye. Thanks yet again.

 

They can also be any color you desire as well. Just let me know.

[Astral Saviors]

Ok i've been having a think about the (slightly failed) beliefs section of my background and i've decided to build roughly around:

 

The chapter hail the Emperor as their father (normal), they believe that in their worship of him, words will not suffice (No chaplains. Although that is for other reasons) and they prefer visual items, ornate banners, shrines on sides of vehicles etc (gives an excuse to come up with massively overdone banners :))

 

Before i write this up and expand it does anyone have any reasons why it wouldn't work or is unlikely to happen.

Also, after reading everyones queries I have made some minor adjustments to the background. Would it be better to post the new version again or edit it into the original background post?

[Ecritter]

Always edit the orginal post as the newest copy of the IA. Its pretty standard and we all know where to find it.

[Astral Saviors]

Ok for those of you interested the original background post has been edited with minor changes. The "Beliefs" and "The battle for Betim Hive" will also be edited in when i finish them. As always your feedback is welcomed :)