Yaj Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 I don't know quite what happened when I posted yesterday. For some reason the first post, which had the start of a background story I was working on for my chapter, got deleted and the second accidental post which should have been deleted remained. Oh well, never mind. Unfortunatly what I originally wrote was rather spontenaous and I didn't save a copy of it! *bangs head against wall* So I'll have to write it again. In the mean time I present below my basic outline for the 'Blood Ghosts' (name subject to change) 1. The heavily damaged Battle Barge ‘Crimson Light’ is captured by Dark Eldar 2. Taken in to hidden part of web way. 3. Over the next thousand years the Dark Eldar conduct raids against the ship, slowly killing all but one of the marines 4. The Dark Eldar capture the marines souls in vast soul traps. 5. For there own amusment the Dark Eldar release the ship back into imperial space with only Brother-Sgt Harin Sarbius as the lone survivor 6. Dark Eldar sorceries ensure the spirits of the non-marine crew can never leave and are cursed to serve aboard the ship stuck in the last terror filled moments of there lives. 7. Sarbius has been given the 'keys' to his brother-marines prison(s) and can release there spirits at anytime. 8. Once released the marines manifest as phyiscal beings and are armed and armoured as they would be in life. 9. They can not however leave imprisonment permenatly and only the deaths of other beings will extend the tempory freedom. 10. The ghost-marines are the last three companies of the chapter, the rest destroyed defeating a Tyranid invasion of home world. 11. Sarbius activaly seeks out a way to free his brothers spirits forever and has begun to seek more herectial answers in his quest. 12. The Battle-Barge is lifeless (except for Sarbius) and has only limited warp capablitiy and so spends much of its time drifting through space between stars. Sarbius can of course bring forth his brothers should the ship be threatened and it is still capable of mounting an effective display of limited firepower if needed. 13. Safe guards have been put in place to prevent Sarbius from destroying the ship and thus destroying the prisons of his brothers So any thought? suggestions? all are welcome thank you Yaj Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/227609-lets-try-this-again/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightrawenII Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 Weeeeeeeell, lets see... 5. For there own amusment the Dark Eldar release the ship back into imperial space with only Brother-Sgt Harin Sarbius as the lone survivor 6. Dark Eldar sorceries ensure the spirits of the non-marine crew can never leave and are cursed to serve aboard the ship stuck in the last terror filled moments of there lives. - Why would DE release the ship back into space? They spent last thousand years with raiding of this ship. Let him go is not fun, it's mercy - an complete anathema to Dark Eldar. If they still could feast upon his despair and misery, then maybe. - I don't think the DE would let any soul slip away from their claws. 7. Sarbius has been given the 'keys' to his brother-marines prison(s) and can release there spirits at anytime. - Yeah. :tu: - Btw, You said "non-marine crew". -_- 8. Once released the marines manifest as physical beings and are armed and armoured as they would be in life. - Yeah. :sweat: ^2 - Travesty of Thrice-cursed doesn't count. 13. Safe guards have been put in place to prevent Sarbius from destroying the ship and thus destroying the prisons of his brothers. - Doesn't work. Nothing in this universe is indestructible. - Again, travesty of Thrice-cursed doesn't count. ++++++ Overall, I think you are using too much shenanigans to make this story work. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/227609-lets-try-this-again/#findComment-2727211 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yaj Posted April 17, 2011 Author Share Posted April 17, 2011 5. For there own amusment the Dark Eldar release the ship back into imperial space with only Brother-Sgt Harin Sarbius as the lone survivor6. Dark Eldar sorceries ensure the spirits of the non-marine crew can never leave and are cursed to serve aboard the ship stuck in the last terror filled moments of there lives. - Why would DE release the ship back into space? They spent last thousand years with raiding of this ship. Let him go is not fun, it's mercy - an complete anathema to Dark Eldar. If they still could feast upon his despair and misery, then maybe. - I don't think the DE would let any soul slip away from their claws. My initial thoughts were that the dark eldar were actually still observing and feeding of the suffering of the imprisoned marines souls and Sarbius slow descent into despair/madness as he realise he can't free them permantly. However I thought it might be better if the dark eldar somehow became trapped on the battle barge by say a rival Kabal and unable to escape now can only take out there anger by using the spirits of the imprisoned marines. Not sure how Sarbius would fit in to such a scenario though. Or perhaps they never actually let it go but contained the ship in some form of time-loop and it just repeats its last (say 100) battles leading up to its capture but then that kind of thing has been done before in the general sci-fi world. 7. Sarbius has been given the 'keys' to his brother-marines prison(s) and can release there spirits at anytime.- Yeah. - Btw, You said "non-marine crew". That does seem a bit odd doesn't it? consider that part of the idea scrapped. I meant serfs but couldn't think what human crew were called at the time! though I should know since I read enough 40K books. 8. Once released the marines manifest as physical beings and are armed and armoured as they would be in life.- Yeah. ^2 - Travesty of Thrice-cursed doesn't count. I like the idea that these marines are somehow different and thought the whole manifesting as they once were was an interesting way of portraying a chapter. 13. Safe guards have been put in place to prevent Sarbius from destroying the ship and thus destroying the prisons of his brothers.- Doesn't work. Nothing in this universe is indestructible. - Again, travesty of Thrice-cursed doesn't count. I said Sarbius couldn't destroy the ship himself. There is of course nothing to prevent an external force from doing so (other than the ships defences/conviently timed plot twists). The overall aim is to create to a chapter that is somehow xenos corrupted/controlled. Perhaps the Dark Eldar aren't they way to go. One thing that has definately going to change is the colour scheme. Don't know what I was thinking. Thanks for the critique. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/227609-lets-try-this-again/#findComment-2727567 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Michaels Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 i wouldnt go with yellow for "blood ghosts" the colour doesnt really fit Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/227609-lets-try-this-again/#findComment-2727670 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Banelord Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 The overall aim is to create to a chapter that is somehow xenos corrupted/controlled. Perhaps the Dark Eldar aren't they way to go. How about the Necron’s ? Maybe they were captured and experimented on and put under some kind on mind control or really turned in some kind of robot “zombie” marine (Thousand son style ;) )? Brother-Sgt Harin Sarbius could be helping for the price of immortality? Sounds a bit evil but could work :) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/227609-lets-try-this-again/#findComment-2727784 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yaj Posted April 18, 2011 Author Share Posted April 18, 2011 Brother Michaels - Yeah I thought to myself 'I really like the Howling Griffons scheme - Lets use that as a basis'. A daft idea to be sure! Banelord - Necrons are a possiblity but I'd probably wait for the new codex. I know it's a while away but I'm in no rush. I may leave them as background only and collect one of the established chapters but thanks to the Heresy novels/other Space Marine books. I'm not sure which one! Thanks Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/227609-lets-try-this-again/#findComment-2728165 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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