Rafen_2 Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 I've been playing Dawn of War for some time and for those that play you know about the army creator. I've come up with a color scheme and badge that I liked but can't find a perfect name. :P I though about Blood Eagles and I liked it until I googled it to see if it was already made chapter and it is. I'm going to start collecting the miniatures soon so I need the name in decent timing. I'll post a screenshot of color scheme, badge, and give my chapter's story line. http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/smsbeta...amp;spr2=533B1C http://www.lordswm.com/avatars/223/223868.jpg?7 They used to be part of a Blood Ravens company. They were sent to a old abandoned system that was the result of a previous Exterminatus, because they recieved info from an informant that important data can be found there about their unknown primarch. So they landed on the system and for weeks searched and found nothing but some of them started to hear voices. They warned the company captain but he refused to listen when an important task was at hand. So the days kept going on and one of the Sergeants, Rafen Talonspyre, spotted a Chaos Sorcerer from the Warriors of Oceania legion (my chaos army devoted to Tzeentch). He confronted the company captain with this proof of Chaos afoot and still he wouldn't listen. So Rafen took a bunch of soldiers loyal to him (most of the company was loyal to him due to his great leading skills and kindness towards them) and went back to the Thunderhawks to get off planet. When they got there they found the place desecrated and their former brothers ripped to shreds everywhere. The company captain came back to this and finally realized it was a trap but was too late as bands of Chaos warriors surged forth to confront the Blood Ravens. It was a valiantly fought battle but it turned for the worse when a daemon prince of Tzeentch came forth. The company captain was dead and Rafen was forced to take charge and called in for deep strike support. They luckily had brought a librarian who was still in the ship and he had a daemon hammer with him as well (don't ask me why wasn't he on planet maybe he was reading a book or something). Anyway he was launched down but got shot down by some Chaos Havocs. All hope seemed lost and Rafen was standing right in front of the mighty daemon. He stared him down and as he was going to make one last desperate charge the might daemon hammer fell from the sky and landed right in front of him. He took it up and with one fell swoop he killed the daemon and with that the forces of Chaos sounded retreat. After that moment the remaining Blood Ravens knew they could never join their former brothers for they had been so close to corruption. They decided to band together and form a new chapter and with Rafen Talonspyre as it's master.... So that's the story (srry for it being so long) and the two pictures hopefully someone with their expert opinion can help me come up with a name for this awesome chapter. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/228074-chapter-name/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chapter Master Ignis Domus Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 I won't comment on your fluff, but do you like the name Purifiers? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/228074-chapter-name/#findComment-2732672 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rafen_2 Posted April 21, 2011 Author Share Posted April 21, 2011 That's an okay name and actually fits with my idea somewhat. I only put the fluff there for people willing to read it and get ideas for their own chapters. Maybe the Purifying Eagles? Not that bad I guess. PS. Only just noticed I put this in the wrong forum my bad I'm new to this. :) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/228074-chapter-name/#findComment-2732692 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olis Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 Hmm, I don't think Purifying Eagles sounds quite right - Purifiers sounds better... do you have a thesaurus handy? :mellow: Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/228074-chapter-name/#findComment-2732778 Share on other sites More sharing options...
CantonWC Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 I'm debating whether or not I should critique this. It won't be pleasant.. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/228074-chapter-name/#findComment-2732934 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rafen_2 Posted April 22, 2011 Author Share Posted April 22, 2011 The only reason I don't want to use the Purifiers is because the badge is clearly some sort of bird head. Not saying the name isn't good but I don't think that's what the chapter is. Hmm, I don't think Purifying Eagles sounds quite right - Purifiers sounds better... do you have a thesaurus handy? tongue.gif lol of course Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/228074-chapter-name/#findComment-2733277 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ecritter Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 Weeping Raptors Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/228074-chapter-name/#findComment-2733280 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rafen_2 Posted April 22, 2011 Author Share Posted April 22, 2011 Weeping Raptors That's a good name thnx. :P Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/228074-chapter-name/#findComment-2733292 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ecritter Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 No problem ... enjoy. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/228074-chapter-name/#findComment-2733294 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olis Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 What about giving the Chapter Name Creator (at the top of the page) a whirl? Maybe it'll give you a real humdinger (or maybe not)... Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/228074-chapter-name/#findComment-2733295 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rafen_2 Posted April 22, 2011 Author Share Posted April 22, 2011 What about giving the Chapter Name Creator (at the top of the page) a whirl? Maybe it'll give you a real humdinger (or maybe not)... I did some of the names really had nothing to do with this chapter whatsoever. I don't think Arctic Foxes fir the theme. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/228074-chapter-name/#findComment-2733298 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferrata Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 Okay, I've looked over your background and I suggest that you read the DIY Guide at the top of the page. The chapter you have is formed in a non-standard way, and whilst there are a few chapters that have done this in the past, it is best for DIY Chapters to walk the usual path. As for a name, you haven't got a massively strong theme so no name jumps out at me. If you follow through with the pure/close to corruption theme, this could lead to some possible names. The Iron Portcullis..... Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/228074-chapter-name/#findComment-2733310 Share on other sites More sharing options...
PorridgeMeister Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 I'm debating whether or not I should critique this. It won't be pleasant.. Same here. Oh well I'll try... :) [brutality] No offence, but your story is ridiculous in several ways; namely the Sergeant staring down a Demon Prince, a Librarian being shot down by Chaos Havocs while deep striking (if by drop pod, they travel far too fast for even a ghost of a chance of that happening OR if by teleport, you can't kill someone like while they don't exist) and the whole business of the daemon hammer falling from the sky and the Sergeant just picking it up and killing the Demon Prince with one go. Not only this, but there are a few other things which conflict with canon; namely if an entire system had been subject to exterminatus, why would: a.) ...anybody be allowed in the system? The Inquisition would not allow that (or whoever conducted the exterminatus). b.) ...any informers in the system? It's called a dead system for a reason. c.) ...there be informers for a Space Marine Chapter at all? They don't operate like that, they're not Inquisition Also, Space Marine Chapters don't just grow on trees; it takes a very long time for them to come into being. [brutality] I suggest the following: a.) you read the guides at the top of this forum if you want help with ironing out the fixable kinks. b.) so what if you found some randomer who had made their chapter as the Blood Eagles? You can do it too! There's 1000 chapters out there so there's darn sure to be some crossovers. c.) don't write you fluff in the style of Relic Entertainment's game plots!; not only are they non-canon compliant, but they generally are inaccurate to the 40kverse in general. Apologies if this offends you, but to quote the magnificent Ace Debonair: The people at the Liber on the warpath can sometimes feel like a bowling ball to the face. A bowling ball that wants to help and thinks you can do better, but a bowling ball nonetheless. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/228074-chapter-name/#findComment-2733320 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olis Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 That quote going directly into my sig, thankyou Porridge. :) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/228074-chapter-name/#findComment-2733333 Share on other sites More sharing options...
PorridgeMeister Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 That quote going directly into my sig, thankyou Porridge. ^_^ You're welcome. ;) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/228074-chapter-name/#findComment-2733348 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rafen_2 Posted April 22, 2011 Author Share Posted April 22, 2011 I knew the storyline was pretty crappy when I made it but I wanted the idea of pure/chaos taint as mentioned by Ferrata. And I took take offense due to this prior knowledge. As I already said I'm new to this so don't really know what the hell is going on. And as far as the name Blood Eagles go I use to like it but wanted something new anyway despite the fact someone else used it. I my just stick with the Weeping Raptors. Thnx everyone for their help hopefully I get the Assault on Black Reach set soon! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/228074-chapter-name/#findComment-2733369 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rafen_2 Posted April 22, 2011 Author Share Posted April 22, 2011 To answer some of PorridgeMeister's issues. a) The librarian would of been sent down on a Thunderhawk which is very possible to be shot down by not necessarily a Chaos Havoc but maybe the Daemon or something of that scale. ^_^ If wreckage is falling down on top of them then it is very possible for the hammer to have fallen by him. c) The Sergeant killed the Daemon in not one blow but in an epic fight (Emperor's blessing of course). d) The whole dead system/ informer idea absolutely sucks so I'm chucking that one out the window. And what do you mean by Relic style? Is it the fact their a Blood Ravens successor chapter or just the storyline itself? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/228074-chapter-name/#findComment-2733380 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferrata Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 And what do u mean by Relic style? Is it the fact their a Blood Ravens successor chapter or just the storyline itself? Relic do not have the greatest reputation for writing good background stories in the eyes of Liber. Whilst their stories range from fine to good for computer games, most games have weak storylines. When this transfers into writing circles (as we of Liber are) then they become quite weak. A lot of Relic's background does fall under the umbrella of artistic license. It is akin of saying you've wrote a story in a Pratchett-style or a Clancy-style. Also, a side note, make sure you don't fall into using chat/leet speak (i.e. u), it is against the forum rules. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/228074-chapter-name/#findComment-2733386 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rafen_2 Posted April 22, 2011 Author Share Posted April 22, 2011 Apologies for the terrible grammar. I've only really played the Relic games and not really into the tabletop so my vision is kind of blurred in this field but the point remains that I was just looking for a Chapter Name. PS. I mostly collect the Tau Empire models ^_^. So that shows how little I know. Aside from the terrible storyline and name creator does anyone have anything to say about the color scheme or badge? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/228074-chapter-name/#findComment-2733392 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ecritter Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 Scheme and badge look fine to me. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/228074-chapter-name/#findComment-2733410 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferrata Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 Schemes pretty solid, not sure about the yellow on the backpack crown. I've only really played the Relic games and not really into the tabletop so my vision is kind of blurred in this field but the point remains that I was just looking for a Chapter Name. It isn't a problem, it is just always nice to know where people are coming through. Some come through the HH books, some through DoW, some through previous editions and some I think just stumbled into a store and couldn't find the exit :) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/228074-chapter-name/#findComment-2733463 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Debonair Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 Apologies if this offends you, but to quote the magnificent Ace Debonair: The people at the Liber on the warpath can sometimes feel like a bowling ball to the face. A bowling ball that wants to help and thinks you can do better, but a bowling ball nonetheless. Actually, my quote was about Librarium staff, not the general populace of the Liber. :) We only get tennis balls, but frequently cheat by filling them with sand. ;) Don't be discouraged if people pick holes in your ideas - I can assure you my first idea for a chapter was a LOT sillier than that. :D And of course, they're only doing it to help, much like the bowling balls in my apparently well-known statement. :P Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/228074-chapter-name/#findComment-2733490 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rafen_2 Posted April 22, 2011 Author Share Posted April 22, 2011 Thanks for the encouragement Ace Debonair ^_^ but I already said I took no offense and that the storyline was poorly put together (too many damn video games :angry:). As far as the yellow on the backpack I would probably mute it a bit and I want it so the backpack isn't full red (which should be muted as well to more of a crimson color). Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/228074-chapter-name/#findComment-2733495 Share on other sites More sharing options...
CantonWC Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 As I already said I'm new to this so don't really know what the hell is going on Well then, how about you start educating yourself in 40k lore so that nobody else gets on your case? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/228074-chapter-name/#findComment-2733509 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferrata Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 Canton, please don't come across so harshly. We were all once lost in the wilderness of knowing less then we do now. It is out role and pleasure to help educate those who don't know as much as us, and in turn learn from those who know more than us. A person is hardly likely to stick around if that is the tone set by posters. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/228074-chapter-name/#findComment-2733522 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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