Jump to content

Angels awoken/Angel tears


chuk dred

Recommended Posts

I know this is a full on long peice, but if you got time to read it feel free to give me any advice/criticism you got, thanks B)

i had tried to write it as nice as possible, but it was too cramped, i am going through adding spaces, this may lead to vacant lines suggesting a paragraph change when nothing much changes, sorry about it, but its to make it readable.

A very large rewrite is in the near future, massive changes will be made. If you have the time and interest to read this though your suggestions will be seriously considered and may even affect the new work.

IMPORTANT: If you can tell me how to make the large titles in coloured boxes either PM me or add a comment, i really want to know before i create another behemoth of text like this. Thank you.

[u

The chapter, the Angels awoken, are from the 21st founding, often called the “cursed founding“. Descended from the blood angels, the hope in making them was that they may be able to control the flaws of their gene seed. To create new angels that were capable of maintaining their trained discipline until the perfect moment to unleash it. No brother should succumb to the black rage or red thirst unduly, yet in the heat of battle when the enemy is within range every battle brother should have it in him to attack with all the frenzy of the death company from the original blood angels and then resume normal activities after. Named by the creators of the chapter, there was great hopes that they would be a new wave of angels, no longer suffering from the flaw but using it as their most sacred tool.

From the time of their founding they were soon steeped in a strong decline due to the flaw. The attempts to tamper with the gene-seed had failed the flaw became much more reactive in hostile situations. On the eve of battle at least as many, normally more, of the battle brothers would have visions of Sanguinius that drive them to meet their demise. The attempts to control the affects of the flaw had backfired and the new found chapter was ferociously dangerous in combat to any and all nearby. While the members of the adeptus mechanicus were appalled at their creation the angels awoken were undoubtedly a formidable force. Even the unpredictability of the troops was countered by the intelligence and planning of their superior officers. The first council of the angels awoken acknowledged the accentuated flaw from which they were created and were proud of it. The company, first founded on control of the flaw, took to heart a new doctrine. To understand and control ones flaws allows one to turn a weakness into a strength. Where self control failed them, an acceptance of their failed gene-seed was to succeed. The chapter was first homed on a battle barge in the segmentum tempetus and used as a fast assault team. Favouring the quick strike assault of jump pack teams and vehicles when attacking planet bound foes. Their drive to get up close to the enemy as fast as possible brought on by the accentuated red thirst in all of theirs gene-seed. Initial conflicts they were deployed in were successful, however they had a tendency to continue the slaughter after the enemies were slain. In one particular battle, the planet of Bakka was under siege from the orcs so the angels awoken were deployed. Descending from the skies directly onto the foes the angels had no problem eliminating the threat, but the furious battle worked the battle brothers into a frenzy which saw them rampaging all across the surface destroying all imperial gaurdsmen they found in their path.

[u
[/size].[/b][/u]

Given the angels awoken habit of going into a blood crazed frenzy in the heat of battle most others were ill at ease in close proximity to them. This coupled with their desire to be in the thick of action constantly lead to them being homed at the very outer reaches of the imperium. The high lords of Terra were displeased that the new chapter failed to achieve the control that they had hoped for and were even a threat to other imperial forces, however the angels awoken were unquestionably a dangerous weapon to wield against ones enemies. The adeptus mechanicus intervened with a suggestion, a planet in the veiled region of segmentum tempestus had proved to troublesome to settle on previously. Studies by the adeptus muechanicus showed it was rich with supplies they longed to have, perhaps this was their chance to get to it. If the new chapter could gain and hold control of this planet it would allow them to mine the valuable resources and if it was to fail, well it would simply be one less troubled chapter on the records.

The surface of this colossal-sized planet is a frozen wasteland, uninhabitable to humans. The surface cities are scarce and scattered, housed inside mountains or tall rocky outcrops to defend them from the harsh elements that ravage the surface. For every structure that stands above the surface there is a city many times its size hidden underneath, the cities from the surface are said to be “the tip of the iceberg” in relation to the true size of city. Every city is connected underground by a series of long tunnels allowing the inhabitants to get any where on the planet without having to go across the surface. For security reasons the fortress monastery, Ognomia, is not included in this network, the tunnels spiral around but anyone wishing to enter must reveal themselves to the armed defences on the surface before being able to enter. The tunnels themselves are an intricate maze, filled with one way air locks, designed to confuse and disorientate any intruders. The network also has many exits that lead out through indistinct parts of the surface, partly to lead lost enemies to re-emerge from the tunnels and also to allow the Angels to attack any foe at close quarters.


The Angels awoken took the planet quickly and worked diligently to defend it as they carved out the centre of the planet to make their home. After the initial period of settlement was ended the adeptus mechanicus moved in to claim the resources in the centre as their own. For the briefest of moments it would appear that the AM had succeeded in claiming their prize, however the Angels awoken where kept at arms length for a reason. Deciding it as a better option to leave the close vicinity of the awoken, the AM inducted a small sect to their be the tech priests of the chapter. These were taught about the running of the operation, the manufacture of arms, but most importantly how to dispatch large quantities of goods to the AM without anyone noticing. As a parting gift, the AM installed secret surveillance equipment around the planet and made quiet threats about good business.

Due to its size the planet has many moons, eight of which are now inhabited by humans, others are rich with wildlife that provides sustenance for the populace, many are simply rock matter in orbit. The more substantial of these are used as outposts for defences. Once the chapter had taken control of the planet fleets of ships were sent to them filled with refugees needing to be rehoused. The first moon, Fingus I, settled by the refugees now resembles a mini hive planet with a population of 1.5 billion. The smallest inhabited moon, Fingus VIII, is aquatic, entirely liquid apart from a tiny solid core. This has become the home of the government of the people as it was deemed the safest. The citizens of the moons are all collected survivors from war zones that would have had no where to go if it was not for Coldavius. While the marines have little time or interest for them, the people see them as saviours and adore the angels awoken. A small privileged percentage are taken to work in the mines and factories of the planet. An even smaller percentage is considered for recruitment as a marine.

Because of its location Coldavius is under ceaseless attacks from the many foes of mankind, to have any chance of maintaining a foothold in this realm would take a full hearted effort from any chapter of the emperors finest. This, much alike the flaw that has caused them to be homed here, turns to be as much of a curse as a blessing. It gives them the opportunity to satisfy their war hungry ways and any battle brother given over to the black rage need not wait long for a chance to find a glorious death in battle. However, their long distance separation from humanity leaves them isolated in times of need, and the absence of any outside influence has caused them to fall further into darkness than any chapter should be allowed. Because of the distance from most of humanity and the severity of their flawed condition, the chapter has always been very much one of secrecy. Hidden on the outer reaches of humanities borders, they are unheard of by most of the imperium. Regarded by the high priests of Terra as an experiment and by the AM as a way to discreetly siphon materials out of the segmentum there is little desire by any parties to spread word of the chapter around. This is now a state of affairs that the chapter does much to protect, any travels they make are generally away from their fellow man, out into the wilderness of space that remains uncharted and unchecked. They are seldom if ever called upon for assistance by anyone and no longer make any effort to contact any other chapters in any situation.

[b

“suscitatio ex obscurum quod permoveo in lux lucis”

Awaken from the darkness and move into the light[/b]

sm.php?b62c=@iabsY_iakk7.hLL9J@._@@@@iaj0o@.@@i8khi_@_@@_@@@@@@_@_@@@@@@@@@@@_.@@@@@@_@@_.@@._&grid=TRUE

The chapter has always had a positive philosophy concerning the flaw, as it has needed due to its heightened level of cases of black rage. Although they were never able to control it as was planned, they have learnt to predict it’s level throughout the chapter and use the maddened battle brothers to good effect.

The most recent former chapter master Xangiro did this with great success. Whilst the figures remain highly guarded to all but a few, Commander Xangiro had a strong grasp of the severity of the condition within he’s ranks, allowing him to plan with almost perfect accuracy exactly how many troops he would have at any time given to the black rage, and therefore how strong a death company he would have at his disposal when the need may arise. Understanding the angels blood lust, the chapter has always had more chaplains and priests than the other successor chapters, 23 chaplains and 25 priests. Some amongst the adeptus astartes believe that the reason for having so many is in fact to instigate the black rage in its members as opposed to trying to control it. Nothing has been proved to confirm or deny this.

As much as their home planet attracts a tireless stream of attacks from the many foes of mankind, in the few small breaks that happen between these assaults the angels awoken would take the fight to the enemy. It was not unknown for up to two thirds of the total number of all marines of the chapter to be mobilised in the chapters battle barges and sent to surprise attack an enemy either on it’s way to Coldavius or simply attempting to pass by too close to their home world. Of course, this voyages were reinforced by the full strength of the death company in an attempt to satisfy their lust for the glory of a heroic death and to control their ever increasing numbers.


This readiness to set out was to be a big part of what would be the great undoing of the chapter. In the year 876.M41 Coldavius found itself under siege from an attack force of the emperor’s children , under the command of Lucius the eternal. The conflict was to be known thereafter as “The cursed war of Coldavius”, forever to be remembered by the chapter. The attack force managed to travel through the warp to get within strike range without any of the Angels awoken being aware. The mighty swarm of ships approached the planet, their number hardly dented by the anti-aircraft bombardment quickly launched from the planets surface and the armed moons. There was nothing that could be done to stop the enemy from descending and deploying wave after wave of troops on the surface. The Angels awoken were quick to respond though, instantly drawing together all of the troops and fortifying every city for a pitched battle to defend their home world from the traitors that threatened to overrun them. More and more of the damned legions poured out over the frozen landscape to be gunned down by the angels awoken. Psychic blasts, bolter rounds and lascannon shots blasted both ways furiously. In the heat of such a ferocious and heated battle the flaw in the gene-seed of the loyal marines went into overdrive. Whole scores of marines were deserting their posts to sprint headlong into the oncoming enemies, ready to engage the foe in a final fatal conflict. Commander Xangiro stood at the frontline of the fortress monastery aware that his troops were running into a certain death, but was helpless to do anything to hold them back.

The loses were quickly amounting for both forces, all around every city on the surface of the planet bodies where piling up and the blood was spilt till it flowed across the ground. This was more than most of the marines could take, so much blood shed and death all around. As the hours past more and more surged out of their fortifications to face the enemy eye to eye, even the commander of the chapter could feel his mind weakening to the blood lust inside of him. As the emperor’s children continued to pour forth the commander began to come undone, his growing rage was eating at him and there was seemingly no shortage of traitor marines to slaughter. At this moment he was afforded a glimpse of the leader spearheading the attack, the soul thief Lucius, scion of chemos, revealed himself from the safety of his airborne ship, but just for an instant. With a snarl of discontent Lucius sealed the hatch of his vessel and ascended out of the atmosphere. Xangiro was enraged by the sight of the opposing leader, more so for his withdrawal before they could face each other in glorious mortal combat. As the soul thief left the legions of the damned slowed their assault and the huge ships that still functioned became airborne and strived to follow their master. Overcome by a furious hatred, Xangiro snapped orders for the first company to pursue the fleet and to do all in their power to capture the opposing leader. As sure as it was said it was done. A battle barge, the navis expergo, was readied and filled with the finest veterans and terminators the chapter had to offer. The chapter master along with the remains of the battle brothers were to remain to finish the slaughter of the traitors left on the surface. This was to be the first error of Xangiro in the conflict.


After the barge had left orbit and the tide of battle seemed to be firmly on the side of the angels awoken an almighty warp storm broke out consuming the entire planet. The air buzzed with the gnarly energy of the daemon world that exists just beyond the dimensions of our reality. So much blood had been spilt, the air was heavy with the stench of death, it was to much of a calling to go unheard for the God of Blood. Bloodletters poured forth from the multitudinous rifts that opened up around every site of carnage in the preceding war. Great juggernauts charged across the blood soaked landscape and slammed their immense bodies into the walls of the fortess monastery. The lines of bolters blazing no longer had the effect that they had in the previous hours. Against this fresh foe of daemons all hope appeared lost. Communication with the away party was impossible through the unholy storm that raged, there was no way to call back the chapters most hardened soldiers. It was of course just a matter of time before all of the cities would fall into the hands of chaos, perhaps this was to be the last stand for the entire chapter of the angels awoken. At this moment the truth of the situation became apparent, an unholy alliance between two of the dark gods to bring about the downfall of the chapter standing at the brink of humanity. Feeling the exhaustion from so much fighting, coupled with the pressure of the current deteriorating situation only served to weaken the commanders mind further. He was not even aware of the whispers in his mind from an outside influence. Feeling that he was fighting the eternal internal struggle of the angels, he listened to the voices but tried to maintain control. No longer was his mind just being assailed by the red thirst, but the voice of Khorn himself had slipped into his head undetected. Convinced of his marines impending loss and the futility of the struggle he commanded all around to unleash the beast that dwells within and to take as many of the wretched creatures down with them as they can.

The tactical marines around him heard the change, this was no longer the leader that they had followed without question for so long . All those too far gone with blood lust threw down their bolters, grabbed a chainsaw and ran out to meet the invaders. But it was those that remained that would witness the downfall of there chapter master. Believing himself to be overcome by the red thirst commander Xangiro jumped the barricades of the fortified and city to charge the foe. The truth is that he was secretly seduced by the God he was charging out to fight. As he charged the closest of the blood letters the air around him began to change. A thickness of light danced around him and gradually coalesced into a mighty blade in his hand. It had an indistinct shape at first and the surface was ever moving, shifting around as it worked to figure out it’s form in this dimension. The nearest of the battle brothers ran to take hold of him but to no avail. Xangiro cut him down just as readily as the daemons he meant to destroy. In the ramparts a chaplain ordered the marines to take down their leader, all immediately responded. The commander vanished in a hail of bullets. As the dust settled the frenzied commander was still standing, seemingly unphased by the bullet storm that had enveloped him. He lunged at the front row of marines severing limbs as the daemon blade in his hand grew brighter and stronger with the reaped souls of his fallen brethren. As the insane commander bellowed in defiant rage oversized claws tore through reality directly behind him and started wrenching open a wider hole to allow itself through. Shocked at what they were seeing every marine nearby poured shot after shot into their former leader in a futile attempt to stop his blood shed from opening a rift for yet more abominations to come through.


Word had spread throughout Ognomia of their leaders fall into darkness quickly. The chief librarian, Ektaond, was first to arrive at the scene of the chapter master’s undoing. Seeing the opening rift and the claws of a mighty bloodthirster about to come into the fortress monastery left the librarian transfixed. Frozen not by fear but by a sheer concentration of effort, using every ounce of strength in his body to push the creature back into the hell from which it was breaking out of. The beast was clearly too much, slowed by the psychic assault, but by no means halted, the hole had grown to the size of a man when a third talon appeared through the gap. With the added leverage the hole stretched rapidly, seemingly nothing could stop the creature now. The greater daemon’s strength growing with each kill committed by Xangiro, the psyker was fighting a losing battle trying to stop the bloodthirster from breaking into their world. Knowing that this could be the moment that ended the chapter the librarian did the only thing he could see to do, he lined his force sword at the centre of the rift and lunged. The creature lost its grip and fell back inside momentarily, the librarian slipping into the rift too.

Sensing the stab at his new comrade, Xangiro turned with super human speed and grabbed the librarian, just in time to take hold of a power armoured leg before the librarian disappeared into the warp completely. The librarian, ignoring this hold, was hacking wildly at all of the denizens of this altered plane in a bid to hurt as many creatures as possible. In this realm though no attacks he could make could have hoped to harm them, this was trying to fight them in their own domain, and no weapon known to man had any chance to wound the creatures on their own turf. Dragged back into the realm of the living, Ektaond turned in fury to face Xangiro, gripping him in one hand whilst raising the daemon sword for a final blow. The librarian instinctively darted his blade forward, penetrating the artificers armour and going straight through the gut of the chapter master. Commander Xangiro paused momentarily, the trauma of the wound enough to momentarily slow the blood lust driven commander, but was far from finished.

In this critical moment the high chaplain of the chapter, Gal Dreper, swung from behind. The blow from his axe disarmed the commander, severing his arm off at the shoulder. The daemon blade fell to ground with an eerie scream, the displeasure of a missed kill causing the creature trapped within to become irate. The commanders lifeless arm released its grip on the blade as it began to roll on the floor, apparently attempting to right itself and get back into the action. The bloodthirster in the warp heard the cry and again worked to force its way into the realm of the living. The librarian and the chaplain locked eyes for the briefest of moments in an unspoken acknowledgment of what need to be done. The Commander was frozen, the physical trauma of the severed limb enough even to slow the synaptic responses of a blood crazed super human. As a single unit in perfect harmony, the librarian twisted his blade within the gut of Xangiro as the chaplain swung his heavy axe full circle to deliver a final decisive blow separating head from body. The leaders body dropped to one side as the daemon blade gave another ear piercing scream. The bloodthirster had forced its head through the rift by this time and bellowed in defiance at the pair of marines facing him. Ektaond pierced the great beast down through the jaw of its open mouth as the chaplain cut its exposed hands of from its grip on the rift. The final roars of the beast where scarcely audible as the psyker blasted him back into the warp and closed the gateway it had been fighting its way through.


The defeat of the commander and the greater daemon was a huge blow to the khornate force but there was still a huge mass of lesser daemons crawling all over the fortress monastery and all over the planet. The remaining battle brothers would have been hard pushed to take down all of the daemons but there saviour came descending from the heavens borne aloft on wings fit for an angel. The figure appeared just as the fight was coming to a close. Swooping down and slaying daemons in a wave of destruction. The battle brothers encouraged by this divine saviour were spurred on to greater feats. With the fortress walls still intact and defended and the new figure decimating the daemons it finally appeared that the chapter was to survive this day. With the fall of his two most powerful pawns and the arrival of this holy warrior the god of blood lost interest in the ensuing battle. He’s prize of turning another chapter had eluded him this time. The warp storm disipitated and the clear atmosphere once again became visible. The remaining blood letters started to fade out and lose substance in this world. The drive behind the attack had been extinguished and they no longer had a hold on reality. The daemon sword was carefully extracted from the war zone and housed in a sealed containment chamber, hidden in the deepest depths under the chapters monastery. It is kept as a trophy of the great battle that was fought that day, a to serve as a reminder that the greatest enemy is that which dwells within us.

[u

“flere est non piaculum”

To cry is not a sin

[/b]

For their parts in the victory that day Chief librarian Ektaond and high chaplain Gal Dreper were given the highest accolades of the chapter and are both respected as the saviours of the chapter. This praise however was not to be officially acknowledged throughout the imperium. For the members of the adeptus astartes a chapter who’s commander has gone over to the side of chaos is to be considered renegade. This leaves the chapter standing at the boundary of mankind defending the imperium from the many and varied foes that wish to bring the downfall of man, whilst being considered enemy of the very people that they sacrifice their lives defending. In the wake of the great war there was a long depression throughout the chapter. Numbers depleted, chapter master killed, rejected by the imperium and still stationed on a constantly threatened border with no chance of reinforcements from other chapters. The chapter would have struggled to survive through the ensuing years if it hadn‘t been for the appointing of a wise and powerful leader.

Since returning from the battle barge in pursuit of Lucius, the honoured leader of the veteran company has been seated at the head of the chapter. Commander Chuk Dred has been a venerable chapter master since the war. He has been dubbed by his brothers “the lord of sorrow“ for the heavy burden of shame and guilt put upon him by the actions of his predecessor. The dishonour laid upon the chapter by Xangiro is a source of remorse for all the chapter to this but none have so much to prove than the new chapter master. He has been acclaimed for his embodiment of the primarch Sanguinius for his foresight, planning and leadership. As an established veteran of war he has shown that none can equal his vigour and skill in combat. As a leader he has shown he has the strategic mindset to get the upper hand on most enemies, a passion for his chapter that inspires the battle brothers below him and the competence of organisation to lead every branch of the chapter out of the shadow of their past and thrive in the present. He has implemented changes that have allowed the chapter to recover from their loses, to survive the constant attacks from outsiders and to move forward into the future as a new chapter.


In a decision by the high council to help the chapter move forward it was declared that they must reinvent themselves, to move away from the history that scars the history of the angels awoken. The strongest symbol of the conflict of that time was, and remains to be, the captured daemon sword. Since its entombing in the heart of the planet, the blade weeps endlessly, lamenting it’s lost power, yearning for the thrill of blood shed and the destruction of lives. This symbol, coupled with the dark emotion of the chapter lead to the renaming of them as Angels Tears. The chapter symbol was switched from an open eye to a tear, although most banners will have the eye and the tear together. The armour was changed from orange and white to orange and black to represent the dark times past and the emotion now carried by the chapter. The history of the chapter has already happened and cannot be undone, but the brothers that remain are not to be labelled the same as the crazed commander that lead to them being outcast from the armies of humanity. They know and recall with sorrow those dark days, but in following with their previous masters’ thoughts, it is by knowing and understanding your flaws that you can make your weaknesses into strengths. Since then all members of the chapter are routinely interviewed and assessed for mental health by a committee made up of the chaplains, priests and librarians of the chapter. Chapter master Dred, by his own recommendation, is included in this, so too are the members of the committee assessed individual by the peers they are normally seated with. While the Angels tears can accept that the red thirst and black rage are inevitable, they must do all within their power to ensure that the influence of the chaos gods will never again take hold within the chapter.

In the years following the cursed war the chapter needed to replenish its numbers so they fortified the planetary defences and minimised the amount of attacks they would launch. In the centuries that have passed they have replenished much of their strength, although no longer officially recognised as a loyal chapter the people of Coldavius, it’s moons and the neighbouring planets still look to them as heroes, and there is no greater honour for a family than to have a child join the marines that defend them. Due to the relative desperation of the chapter to amass troops constantly they have the lowest standard of entry for new recruits. Anyone willing to risk their life for the chapter is given a chance to prove themselves as a scout to earn the honour of becoming a fully fledged space marine. The missions in the preliminary stages of training are mostly hunter-gatherer missions on the moons which are home to a large number of dangers but a vital supply of food for the citizens and workers of Coldavius.

[u

“justicia pro righteous “

Justice for the righteous

sm.php?b62c=@iabsY_hLL9J.haLvy@_.@@@@iaj0o@_@@iakk7iakk7@@@@@@@@@@@.@.@@@@@@@@@@@iakk7_@@@@@@@@@._@@_iakk7&grid=TRUE

Following the Cursed War there was a phase of communication between the high council of the chapter and the outside world. In the first period Commander Dred and the highest chaplains and priests had contacted the leaders of man to plea for forgiveness after their previous leaders betrayal. Citing temporary insanity of the leader and the unquestionable loyalty of the remaining brothers they wanted to be acknowledged for their actions in the name of the emperor. The request was denied flatly. The chapter had been considered a problem before the commander’s betrayal because of their war hungry and blood lusting nature. The fall of Xangiro was the opening the adeptus astartes wanted to wash their hands of the chapter once and for all. After these attempts had failed the council was contacted by a committee of blood angels. The council was told that there was a way to show their remorse, a way to return honour to the chapter and earn a place in the history books of mankind once more. The lord of sorrow was hopeful at this news and was willing to welcome a task force of Blood Angels to Coldavius to discuss the redemption of the tears.

In 880.M41 a small space cruiser was dispatched from Baal, just captain Andromo and a tactical squad to serve as his personal escort. The planets defences were all taken offline when the ship came within range as an act of good faith. The high council of the Angels tears met in a conference chamber, specially constructed in the middle of nowhere, a point that could never be found again on a map of the underground networks. As prearranged the tears representatives arrived unarmed, it had not been discussed but they were surprised to see the captain armed and his troops stood with their bolters ready. At the meeting the council of the angels tears were filled with hope and optimism, a meeting with a blood angels captain to discuss a method by which the disgraced chapter could make amends. Andromo was not there to discuss nor negotiate, he was there as an ambassador for the blood angels with one message, one demand. As they assembly was seated Andromo lay down the conditions of their acquittal. The entire chapter was to disarm immediately and surrender their lives in loyalty to their emperor and the memory of their shared primarch. The members of the angels tears where stunned. Loyalty to the cause would of course lead them to conform to their parent chapters request, but what use would there be to their sacrifice? Andromo informed them that after Xangiro’s betrayal there lifes are meaningless, their very existence is a dishonour and discredit to his own chapter, the blood angels, the true descendants of Sanguinius.


The choice was laid down, swear allegiance and allow the complete annihilation of the chapter, or refuse the demands and be forever sworn as an enemy of the emperor. Commander Dred, the lord of sorrow, could make no sense of the decision. His newly re-founded chapter completely destroyed to undo the crazed antics of the former leader in a moment of madness. The captain of the blood angels unit was adamant, any blood angel successor that cannot tell the difference between the red thirst and the whispered seductions of the blood god is too dangerous to allow to serve on the side of man, and any foe of the imperium must be dealt with accordingly. The lord of sorrow divulged information of the appearance of the Sanguinor claiming that it must be the will of Sanguinius for the chapter to survive. Captain Andromo rejected the claim without hesitation and branded the commander and his informants to be liars. The debate got heated and tempers flared. The commander of the angels tears desperately trying to defend the right of his men to live whilst the captain, his inferior of rank, from the blood angels unflinchingly demanded their extermination. As the argument erupted threats were made by the captain. “Bow down and die or we shall return and you shall die like the traitors you so clearly are!” blasted Andromo covering the face of commander Dred in saliva as he did so. A chaplain on the far side of the chamber, chaplain Hax, was not to take this lightly. Seeing his leader endangered he was instantly overcome with rage. He flew across the chamber with indescribable speed, one outstretched open hand wrapping itself around the captains face. The momentum of the lunge was not to be stopped though, and the pair crashed into the wall behind, the captains head crushed on impact.


As the remaining members in the room started to scream in outrage commander Dred was the first to react. He swung himself behind the nearest blood angel, snapping his neck on the way and seizing his fire arm. Amongst the angels of tears there was confusion, Hax was tearing another marine apart bare handed, the ever aggressive chaplains had crashed into their opposing number straight after their leader whilst the priests, still hoping for a resolution, stood in shock. Dred was the first to unleash rounds taking down those closest of the blood angels. The unengaged tactical troopers poured shots into the easy targets of the preists, two of their number being fatally wounded. The remaining blood angels stood no chance, even with their guns, facing the highest and most experienced members of the tears in sudden close combat. Once the violence ended Dred decreed, before anyone else could speak, that it was his wish to deny the blood angels request, that Hax had done what was asked and was instantly admonished of any crime. No one spoke out against him, everyone present knew what this meant. They were, undeniably, rogue. All eyes moved towards the maniacal Hax . He arose off of the body he had just strangled until the head was dislocated with fire burning behind his eyes. The marines were shocked looking at this madman amidst their ranks. Dred stepped forward and stared into the mans soul and he changed. The rage subsided and he was evidently his usual self again. In chaplain Hax the alterations of the gene-seed had worked as planned. Blinded by a fearless rage in times of danger and able to return to normal when the situation allows it.

The repercussions of their actions were evident, they had gone against the wishes of an official representative of the imperium, even if he did have an agenda based around the blood angels code of honour. Commands where sent to ready all possible defences. The tech marines were dispatched to each of the moons or further out. Heavy weight materials were taken out to Coldavius moons and used to enhance the existing guns, more fire power, faster deploying rockets and much more armour. Cruisers were sent to all neighbouring planets to set up a surveillance web around the planet. The strike was inevitable, the only question is what would they do and how soon it will come.


Luck was on their side, the blood angels had acted without the consent or knowledge of any others. They had no authority to order a strike straight away and had to take the case up with the highest committee of elders amongst humanity before they would be able to attack. The blood angels had contacted the members of the adeptus mechanicus to prepare their arms for the retaliatory strike. The AM was worried by the escalating situation sent an undercover ship out to Coldavius. The mech priests were shocked to find themselves in a planet wide building project fortifying the defences. The ambassadors of the AM were warmly received by the angels tears. Discussions were set in motion, the AM did not want any others to know of their project on Coldavius, nor did they want it to end at all. The tears of course wanted to be allowed the chance to survive to continue defending the imperium and to recieve the recognition they deserve. They discussed the meeting with the blood angels and how the situation got out of control. The members of the AM were amazed that the chaplain that stood next to him calmly now had succumbed to the red thirst. Excited by this news he left, with assurances that they would continue to receive their share of the planets riches and the AM would do all possible to prevent the extermination of the new chapter.

The AM then sent representatives to meet with the high council of Terra. With news that in one of their number the gene-seed modification had been successful. Describing the occurrences the AM hinted that the new commander could see into the souls of the enraged and calm them. Intrigued that perhaps their experiment may have borne fruit, that maybe one of the chapters of the 21st founding would not prove to be a disaster, they took the side of the AM. News was relayed to the blood angels that they were not to take action with reassurances that the case is being handled by the highest powers in the imperium.


The AM was appointed to closely monitor the chapter, if they continue to serve the emperor they can be left alive. If they at anytime show signs of being further tainted they would need to be dealt with. The high lords wished to find out if the chapter would eventually progress to have the self control they were designed to have.

In this time the surveillance and guns were set up and ready. The web of trackers around Coldavius was larger and more intricate than anything the Tears had thought possible. The bombardment they was expecting never came. Instead another undercover agent of the AM came by. The resources that the chapter had no understanding of would continue to be sent in their entirety to the AM, along with a percentage of all the other materials that they could mine. It was not so much a deal as a demand, but the high council of the angels tears were pleased with the state of affairs. The chapter was safe. A message was sent to leave them in peace, they would continue to hold the boundary that they had through the centuries and live in secrecy and solitude, no one need know that they exist. This seemed a favourable situation for all concerned, although the blood angel would still like to see them removed.

The enhanced defences now surrounding the planet allowed them the chance to fully recover their number while swarms of enemies attempted to take them down in their weakened state. Since then they have been able to once more take the fight to the enemy, intercepting enemy fleets in space, assassinating powerful rising leaders on their own turf, laying siege to fortresses and planets, doing the work of any chapter of the emperors finest, even if they are no longer acknowledged for it.

[u

The increased isolation has allowed a further decline for the angels tears. The chapter and their home world have been touched by chaos and the corrupting influence of such a powerful force still lingers all around. The flora and fauna of the planet and the moons have changed radically since the Cursed War making all aspects of life hazardous. Their have been reports of an increase in the frequency and tenacity of chaos uprisings in the area. While the marines still see themselves as pure, the population that worships them as heroes are prone to viewing them the same way as the rest of humanity, leading them to worship the dark gods in attempt to pay homage to the marines that protect them. These misguided sect inevitably become neutralised by the battle brothers that they adore. There have been multiple counts of squad captains removing there helms after conflict to reveal abnormalities or mutations. In the first cases the captains have rushed to find a heroic death for themselves to try to retain some honour in life. There was a case of a terminator squad teleported onto a chaos vessel to assassinate its leader returned to find every member had developed a mutation. With out the influence and judgements of uncorrupted humans around these instances have become acceptable, a deviation in the physical form is no problem if the mind is still dedicated to the cause and loyal to the chapter. The adage of the old leaders holding true within the new found chapter, controlling a flaw to become a strength instead of a weakness. Although these mutations are mostly superficial and concealed by their power armour, much of the chapter may look more renegade than loyal. In their own eyes they are still guardians of humanity, proudly defending its borders from the many alien threats. Despite the knowledge that are no longer welcome inside the imperium the angels tears stand at the borders of humanity, stemming the tide of dangers that will destroy the ways of man.

EDITS:

this last paragraph needs to be retouched when i have chance, maybe make it a "current state of the chapter" type finale.

From reading guides it seems that there should be beliefs of the chapter addressed.

The battle brothers of the Angels Tears put their faith in the weapons, armour and vehicles that allow them to fight mans foes,

they praise their home world for giving them the resources to produce the aforemtioned items,

and since becoming an independant force they swear loyalty to trust to only their fellow brothers in the tears.

could perhaps word that better, but im rushing here.

Also, i was thinking to change the names of some units to represent the non-allegiance with the BA and the memory of the former leader, just replacing San..... with Xan....., Xanguinary guard, Xanguinor, Xanguinory priest. Is it too much? or too cheesy?

if you have made it this far, thank you, i hope it was to your liking or at least some interest to read.

Please leave a comment to show me what you thought.

As some comments suggest i have been too subtle on making some points i thought i would point out:

The "sanguinor" character was going to be the reincarnation of Xangiro. Possessed souls are damned to eternity in the warp, correct? But he pulled a "gandalf" and broke free to come back as the saviour of forsaken chapter.

The lord of sorrow (dantes stand-in) needs to be a little over perfect to be able to fill Dantes shoes without being a weak character to hold his stats.

sorry, i forgot the other points i wanted to make now.

IF you have read this far, please write something, it does not by any means need to be a full break down of the whole piece, just "i liked this...." or "i think this is bad fluff...." or even "i read the whole thing!" just feel free to say something.

Theres still a couple more things i want to work into here, so there may be modifications,

a guide to characters as most are stand in special characters you may want to know

Dante=lord of sorrow chuk dred

astorath=chaplain gal dreper

mephiston= cheif librarian ektaond

lemartes = chaplain hax

Link to comment
https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/228188-angels-awokenangel-tears/
Share on other sites

Printed out for a read later. However, a couple of points. Firstly, I would suggest you go through and add paragraph spaces to the piece. At the moment, it would look fine on your version of Word as you've have small gaps between them. When you've copied it into the browser, these have disappeared so it looks like a wall of text. Secondly, in the bits you have written outside of the article, you need to make sure you are not using leet/chat speak like 'u', it is against the Forum Rules. Finally, the name, Angels Awoken, works okay in a similar way to Angels Encarmine. Maybe Angels Evigilore might work better though.
I skimmed it mostly due to the lack of spacing and while I do commend the length of the IA I feel you Name dropped a couple of times too many and in the bits I did read some rather beady things happened. But I really cannot go into it until it has a change of layout or my eyes might implode due to the size of my screen.

what would be the best way to space this piece? just add paragraph breaks more regularly?

i did just copy and paste the whole piece from word without checking how it looks, other DIY chapters are presented with titles and subtitles in boxes and coloured lines, ill look into that perhaps,

thanks for your time and efforts for looking at it

^_^

 

How about the new name of Angels tears? i figured it would be really easy to replace the blood drop with a tear, white outlined bright light blue centre?

work for you guys?

Hello, I'm going to give this my usual harsh and thoroughful criticism. So, there we go...

 

The founding of the Angels Awoken

The chapter, the Angels awoken, are from the 21st founding, often called the “cursed founding“. Descended from the blood angels, the hope in making them was that they may be able to control the flaws of their gene seed.

- Okey, full stop. The Lamenters are confirmed (IA9) to be the only BAs successors in this Founding.

 

No brother should succumb to the black rage or red thirst unduly, yet in the heat of battle when the enemy is within range every battle brother should have it in him to attack with all the frenzy of the death company from the original blood angels and then resume normal activities after.

- While this is not out of the realm of possibility, both Black Rage and Red Thirst are psychological phenomena and in order to control them you have to come with some method of self-denial or self-control.* The effect of gene-seed manipulation on the actual course of the rage/thirst is rather questionable.

 

 

* This of course, opens the Pandora's box - If there is BA's successor capable of contoling RT/BR, How come the BAs don't use similar method? (The Blood Drinkers are exception, sort of.)

 

In one particular battle, the planet of Bakka was under siege from the orcs so the angels awoken were deployed.

- Bakka is the Naval Base for the fleet of Segmentum Tempestus.

 

Coldavius, the frozen giant

Deciding it as a better option to leave the close vicinity of the awoken, the AM inducted a small sect to their be the tech priests of the chapter. These were taught about the running of the operation, the manufacture of arms, but most importantly how to dispatch large quantities of goods to the AM without anyone noticing.

- The Chapter has its own techpriests, they are called Techmarines and are trained on Mars.

 

For the rest;

- Too much detail for little to no gain. You are writting essay on Chapter of Adeptus Astartes, not novella.

- The Chapter is saved by Deus ex Machina, twice.

- Because of the Flaw, the Sons of Sanguinius are slowly dying out. The Flesh Tearers, who face the same problem like the Angels Awoken, are reduced to 400 Battle Brothers and practically without future.

- À Propos, the standards of acceptance are here to ensure that the second Horus Heresy doesn't occur. If you lower these standards, then the result are sub-par marines with higher chance of falling into Chaos.

- Battle Frenzy: The Knights of the Blood were excommunicated for the same reason and we know that several 21st Founding Chapters were exterminated.

- The fallen leader =/= renegade by default, see below.

- Under 'normal' conditions, the Inquisitor is dispatched to investigate the wayward Chapter. If the Chapter is found wanting, then it's send on Penitent Crusade, read suicide mission.

 

Also, i was thinking to change the names of some units to represent the non-allegiance with the BA and the memory of the former leader, just replacing San..... with Xan....., Xanguinary guard, Xanguinor, Xanguinory priest. Is it too much? or too cheesy?

- 'Sanguine' is latin word for blood.

 

Cheers, NightrawenII

The founding of the Angels Awoken.

The chapter, the Angels awoken, are from the 21st founding, often called the “cursed founding“. Descended from the blood angels, the hope in making them was that they may be able to control the flaws of their gene seed. To create new angels that were capable of maintaining their trained discipline until the perfect moment to unleash it. No brother should succumb to the black rage or red thirst unduly, yet in the heat of battle when the enemy is within range every battle brother should have it in him to attack with all the frenzy of the death company from the original blood angels and then resume normal activities after. Named by the creators of the chapter, there was great hopes that they would be a new wave of angels, no longer suffering from the flaw but using it as their most sacred tool.

From the time of their founding they were soon steeped in a strong decline due to the flaw. The attempts to tamper with the gene-seed had failed the flaw became much more reactive in hostile situations. On the eve of battle at least as many, normally more, of the battle brothers would have visions of Sanguinius that drive them to meet their demise. The attempts to control the affects of the flaw had backfired and the new found chapter was ferociously dangerous in combat to any and all nearby. While the members of the adeptus mechanicus were appalled at their creation the angels awoken were undoubtedly a formidable force. Even the unpredictability of the troops was countered by the intelligence and planning of their superior officers. The first council of the angels awoken acknowledged the accentuated flaw from which they were created and were proud of it. The company, first founded on control of the flaw, took to heart a new doctrine. To understand and control ones flaws allows one to turn a weakness into a strength. Where self control failed them, an acceptance of their failed gene-seed was to succeed. The chapter was first homed on a battle barge in the segmentum tempetus and used as a fast assault team. Favouring the quick strike assault of jump pack teams and vehicles when attacking planet bound foes. Their drive to get up close to the enemy as fast as possible brought on by the accentuated red thirst in all of theirs gene-seed. Initial conflicts they were deployed in were successful, however they had a tendency to continue the slaughter after the enemies were slain. In one particular battle, the planet of Bakka was under siege from the orcs so the angels awoken were deployed. Descending from the skies directly onto the foes the angels had no problem eliminating the threat, but the furious battle worked the battle brothers into a frenzy which saw them rampaging all across the surface destroying all imperial gaurdsmen they found in their path.

 

This seems to me as a relatively well thought out approach to a BA successor, however, as NightrawenII has pointed out the Lamentors are a Cursed Founding chapter and your guys sound very much like them. I'd suggest tweaking the founding to a later one, perhaps even the latest one.

 

Now, the whole going nutso berserko on allied troops is nothing new for BA successors and, in fact, the particular anecdote at the end of the paragraph there seems incredibly akin to the Blood Knights or even the Flesh Tearers. It's not a cardinal sin to have similar background but, at least in the case of killing allied guardsmen, adding a twist can give the story a very different feel. For example; your chapter knew of a taint gone unnoticed by the higher authorities and cleansed the world of tainted troops but this deed has earned them some kind of vilification within the Imperium. Who or what would be their persecutors would be entirely down to what you'd think would fit.

 

Also, more details on the chapters flagship would be nice, even if it isn't terribly helpful to make the Great Wall of Text even longer. :P

 

Coldavius, the frozen giant.

 

Given the angels awoken habit of going into a blood crazed frenzy in the heat of battle most others were ill at ease in close proximity to them. This coupled with their desire to be in the thick of action constantly lead to them being homed at the very outer reaches of the imperium. The high lords of Terra were displeased that the new chapter failed to achieve the control that they had hoped for and were even a threat to other imperial forces, however the angels awoken were unquestionably a dangerous weapon to wield against ones enemies. The adeptus mechanicus intervened with a suggestion, a planet in the veiled region of segmentum tempestus had proved to troublesome to settle on previously. Studies by the adeptus muechanicus showed it was rich with supplies they longed to have, perhaps this was their chance to get to it. If the new chapter could gain and hold control of this planet it would allow them to mine the valuable resources and if it was to fail, well it would simply be one less troubled chapter on the records.

The surface of this colossal-sized planet is a frozen wasteland, uninhabitable to humans. The surface cities are scarce and scattered, housed inside mountains or tall rocky outcrops to defend them from the harsh elements that ravage the surface. For every structure that stands above the surface there is a city many times its size hidden underneath, the cities from the surface are said to be “the tip of the iceberg” in relation to the true size of city. Every city is connected underground by a series of long tunnels allowing the inhabitants to get any where on the planet without having to go across the surface. For security reasons the fortress monastery, Ognomia, is not included in this network, the tunnels spiral around but anyone wishing to enter must reveal themselves to the armed defences on the surface before being able to enter. The tunnels themselves are an intricate maze, filled with one way air locks, designed to confuse and disorientate any intruders. The network also has many exits that lead out through indistinct parts of the surface, partly to lead lost enemies to re-emerge from the tunnels and also to allow the Angels to attack any foe at close quarters.

 

This tract seems mostly fine except for the disposable attitude you've placed upon the chapter in regards to the High Lords of Terra - it seems incongruous for the Imperial Authorities to wish a chapter away when super-human warriors are at a premium. Perhaps a little lower down in the food chain there's be vengeful individuals all too willing to be rid of an administrative annoyance? I don't know, just a suggestion.

 

The Angels awoken took the planet quickly and worked diligently to defend it as they carved out the centre of the planet to make their home. After the initial period of settlement was ended the adeptus mechanicus moved in to claim the resources in the centre as their own. For the briefest of moments it would appear that the AM had succeeded in claiming their prize, however the Angels awoken where kept at arms length for a reason. Deciding it as a better option to leave the close vicinity of the awoken, the AM inducted a small sect to their be the tech priests of the chapter. These were taught about the running of the operation, the manufacture of arms, but most importantly how to dispatch large quantities of goods to the AM without anyone noticing. As a parting gift, the AM installed secret surveillance equipment around the planet and made quiet threats about good business.

 

It seems to me that the AdMech should be there first, rather than enter on the tailcoats of astartes. The whole "inducted a small sect to their be the tech priests of the chapter" seems utterly at odds with established fluff. Perhaps a co-option of the chapters current techmarines would fit better, maybe through subterfuge? Some reason or another for them to look away when resources are siphoned off for the AdMech?

 

Due to its size the planet has many moons, eight of which are now inhabited by humans, others are rich with wildlife that provides sustenance for the populace, many are simply rock matter in orbit. The more substantial of these are used as outposts for defences. Once the chapter had taken control of the planet fleets of ships were sent to them filled with refugees needing to be rehoused. The first moon, Fingus I, settled by the refugees now resembles a mini hive planet with a population of 1.5 billion. The smallest inhabited moon, Fingus VIII, is aquatic, entirely liquid apart from a tiny solid core. This has become the home of the government of the people as it was deemed the safest. The citizens of the moons are all collected survivors from war zones that would have had no where to go if it was not for Coldavius. While the marines have little time or interest for them, the people see them as saviours and adore the angels awoken. A small privileged percentage are taken to work in the mines and factories of the planet. An even smaller percentage is considered for recruitment as a marine.

 

Eight moons? Eight is quite alot for a rocky planet. Eight is more the preserve of gas giants, frater. Also the whole refugee thing seems a bit... tacked on. It doesn't feel like something a secretive BA successor chapter, a force (and law) unto themselves would tolerate.

 

Because of its location Coldavius is under ceaseless attacks from the many foes of mankind, to have any chance of maintaining a foothold in this realm would take a full hearted effort from any chapter of the emperors finest. This, much alike the flaw that has caused them to be homed here, turns to be as much of a curse as a blessing. It gives them the opportunity to satisfy their war hungry ways and any battle brother given over to the black rage need not wait long for a chance to find a glorious death in battle. However, their long distance separation from humanity leaves them isolated in times of need, and the absence of any outside influence has caused them to fall further into darkness than any chapter should be allowed. Because of the distance from most of humanity and the severity of their flawed condition, the chapter has always been very much one of secrecy. Hidden on the outer reaches of humanities borders, they are unheard of by most of the imperium. Regarded by the high priests of Terra as an experiment and by the AM as a way to discreetly siphon materials out of the segmentum there is little desire by any parties to spread word of the chapter around. This is now a state of affairs that the chapter does much to protect, any travels they make are generally away from their fellow man, out into the wilderness of space that remains uncharted and unchecked. They are seldom if ever called upon for assistance by anyone and no longer make any effort to contact any other chapters in any situation.

 

I think it may be less of a case of "it must be kept quiet" for the high priests and more of a case of "meh" at best or "Mutants! Burn them!" at worst. If they knew at all. The rest of this tract is a-ok though.

 

The age of awakening.

 

“suscitatio ex obscurum quod permoveo in lux lucis”

Awaken from the darkness and move into the light

 

The chapter has always had a positive philosophy concerning the flaw, as it has needed due to its heightened level of cases of black rage. Although they were never able to control it as was planned, they have learnt to predict it’s level throughout the chapter and use the maddened battle brothers to good effect.

The most recent former chapter master Xangiro did this with great success. Whilst the figures remain highly guarded to all but a few, Commander Xangiro had a strong grasp of the severity of the condition within he’s ranks, allowing him to plan with almost perfect accuracy exactly how many troops he would have at any time given to the black rage, and therefore how strong a death company he would have at his disposal when the need may arise. Understanding the angels blood lust, the chapter has always had more chaplains and priests than the other successor chapters, 23 chaplains and 25 priests. Some amongst the adeptus astartes believe that the reason for having so many is in fact to instigate the black rage in its members as opposed to trying to control it. Nothing has been proved to confirm or deny this.

As much as their home planet attracts a tireless stream of attacks from the many foes of mankind, in the few small breaks that happen between these assaults the angels awoken would take the fight to the enemy. It was not unknown for up to two thirds of the total number of all marines of the chapter to be mobilised in the chapters battle barges and sent to surprise attack an enemy either on it’s way to Coldavius or simply attempting to pass by too close to their home world. Of course, this voyages were reinforced by the full strength of the death company in an attempt to satisfy their lust for the glory of a heroic death and to control their ever increasing numbers.

 

This whole black rage thing now seems pretty severe, judging by what has been written. It sounds like, coupled with constant attrition with xenos, that the chapter should be in the same boat as the Flesh Tearers - a handful of companies and dwindling. This seems the logical progression, anyway.

 

This readiness to set out was to be a big part of what would be the great undoing of the chapter. In the year 876.M41 Coldavius found itself under siege from an attack force of the emperor’s children , under the command of Lucius the eternal. The conflict was to be known thereafter as “The cursed war of Coldavius”, forever to be remembered by the chapter. The attack force managed to travel through the warp to get within strike range without any of the Angels awoken being aware. The mighty swarm of ships approached the planet, their number hardly dented by the anti-aircraft bombardment quickly launched from the planets surface and the armed moons. There was nothing that could be done to stop the enemy from descending and deploying wave after wave of troops on the surface. The Angels awoken were quick to respond though, instantly drawing together all of the troops and fortifying every city for a pitched battle to defend their home world from the traitors that threatened to overrun them. More and more of the damned legions poured out over the frozen landscape to be gunned down by the angels awoken. Psychic blasts, bolter rounds and lascannon shots blasted both ways furiously. In the heat of such a ferocious and heated battle the flaw in the gene-seed of the loyal marines went into overdrive. Whole scores of marines were deserting their posts to sprint headlong into the oncoming enemies, ready to engage the foe in a final fatal conflict. Commander Xangiro stood at the frontline of the fortress monastery aware that his troops were running into a certain death, but was helpless to do anything to hold them back.

The loses were quickly amounting for both forces, all around every city on the surface of the planet bodies where piling up and the blood was spilt till it flowed across the ground. This was more than most of the marines could take, so much blood shed and death all around. As the hours past more and more surged out of their fortifications to face the enemy eye to eye, even the commander of the chapter could feel his mind weakening to the blood lust inside of him. As the emperor’s children continued to pour forth the commander began to come undone, his growing rage was eating at him and there was seemingly no shortage of traitor marines to slaughter. At this moment he was afforded a glimpse of the leader spearheading the attack, the soul thief Lucius, scion of chemos, revealed himself from the safety of his airborne ship, but just for an instant. With a snarl of discontent Lucius sealed the hatch of his vessel and ascended out of the atmosphere. Xangiro was enraged by the sight of the opposing leader, more so for his withdrawal before they could face each other in glorious mortal combat. As the soul thief left the legions of the damned slowed their assault and the huge ships that still functioned became airborne and strived to follow their master. Overcome by a furious hatred, Xangiro snapped orders for the first company to pursue the fleet and to do all in their power to capture the opposing leader. As sure as it was said it was done. A battle barge, the navis expergo, was readied and filled with the finest veterans and terminators the chapter had to offer. The chapter master along with the remains of the battle brothers were to remain to finish the slaughter of the traitors left on the surface. This was to be the first error of Xangiro in the conflict.

 

As already mentioned, this is a total namedrop. I'd advise you to find a lesser champion than Lucius the Eternal. Perhaps a friend's chaos commander?

 

After the barge had left orbit and the tide of battle seemed to be firmly on the side of the angels awoken an almighty warp storm broke out consuming the entire planet. The air buzzed with the gnarly energy of the daemon world that exists just beyond the dimensions of our reality. So much blood had been spilt, the air was heavy with the stench of death, it was to much of a calling to go unheard for the God of Blood. Bloodletters poured forth from the multitudinous rifts that opened up around every site of carnage in the preceding war. Great juggernauts charged across the blood soaked landscape and slammed their immense bodies into the walls of the fortess monastery. The lines of bolters blazing no longer had the effect that they had in the previous hours. Against this fresh foe of daemons all hope appeared lost. Communication with the away party was impossible through the unholy storm that raged, there was no way to call back the chapters most hardened soldiers. It was of course just a matter of time before all of the cities would fall into the hands of chaos, perhaps this was to be the last stand for the entire chapter of the angels awoken. At this moment the truth of the situation became apparent, an unholy alliance between two of the dark gods to bring about the downfall of the chapter standing at the brink of humanity. Feeling the exhaustion from so much fighting, coupled with the pressure of the current deteriorating situation only served to weaken the commanders mind further. He was not even aware of the whispers in his mind from an outside influence. Feeling that he was fighting the eternal internal struggle of the angels, he listened to the voices but tried to maintain control. No longer was his mind just being assailed by the red thirst, but the voice of Khorn himself had slipped into his head undetected. Convinced of his marines impending loss and the futility of the struggle he commanded all around to unleash the beast that dwells within and to take as many of the wretched creatures down with them as they can.

The tactical marines around him heard the change, this was no longer the leader that they had followed without question for so long . All those too far gone with blood lust threw down their bolters, grabbed a chainsaw and ran out to meet the invaders. But it was those that remained that would witness the downfall of there chapter master. Believing himself to be overcome by the red thirst commander Xangiro jumped the barricades of the fortified and city to charge the foe. The truth is that he was secretly seduced by the God he was charging out to fight. As he charged the closest of the blood letters the air around him began to change. A thickness of light danced around him and gradually coalesced into a mighty blade in his hand. It had an indistinct shape at first and the surface was ever moving, shifting around as it worked to figure out it’s form in this dimension. The nearest of the battle brothers ran to take hold of him but to no avail. Xangiro cut him down just as readily as the daemons he meant to destroy. In the ramparts a chaplain ordered the marines to take down their leader, all immediately responded. The commander vanished in a hail of bullets. As the dust settled the frenzied commander was still standing, seemingly unphased by the bullet storm that had enveloped him. He lunged at the front row of marines severing limbs as the daemon blade in his hand grew brighter and stronger with the reaped souls of his fallen brethren. As the insane commander bellowed in defiant rage oversized claws tore through reality directly behind him and started wrenching open a wider hole to allow itself through. Shocked at what they were seeing every marine nearby poured shot after shot into their former leader in a futile attempt to stop his blood shed from opening a rift for yet more abominations to come through.

 

Just so you know: It's chainsword not chainsaw and bullets should be bolts. It's a little pedantic but I should point that out considering I'm here to help.

 

Word had spread throughout Ognomia of their leaders fall into darkness quickly. The chief librarian, Ektaond, was first to arrive at the scene of the chapter master’s undoing. Seeing the opening rift and the claws of a mighty bloodthirster about to come into the fortress monastery left the librarian transfixed. Frozen not by fear but by a sheer concentration of effort, using every ounce of strength in his body to push the creature back into the hell from which it was breaking out of. The beast was clearly too much, slowed by the psychic assault, but by no means halted, the hole had grown to the size of a man when a third talon appeared through the gap. With the added leverage the hole stretched rapidly, seemingly nothing could stop the creature now. The greater daemon’s strength growing with each kill committed by Xangiro, the psyker was fighting a losing battle trying to stop the bloodthirster from breaking into their world. Knowing that this could be the moment that ended the chapter the librarian did the only thing he could see to do, he lined his force sword at the centre of the rift and lunged. The creature lost its grip and fell back inside momentarily, the librarian slipping into the rift too.

Sensing the stab at his new comrade, Xangiro turned with super human speed and grabbed the librarian, just in time to take hold of a power armoured leg before the librarian disappeared into the warp completely. The librarian, ignoring this hold, was hacking wildly at all of the denizens of this altered plane in a bid to hurt as many creatures as possible. In this realm though no attacks he could make could have hoped to harm them, this was trying to fight them in their own domain, and no weapon known to man had any chance to wound the creatures on their own turf. Dragged back into the realm of the living, Ektaond turned in fury to face Xangiro, gripping him in one hand whilst raising the daemon sword for a final blow. The librarian instinctively darted his blade forward, penetrating the artificers armour and going straight through the gut of the chapter master. Commander Xangiro paused momentarily, the trauma of the wound enough to momentarily slow the blood lust driven commander, but was far from finished.

 

The tainted chapter master saved the librarian? Why?

 

In this critical moment the high chaplain of the chapter, Gal Dreper, swung from behind. The blow from his axe disarmed the commander, severing his arm off at the shoulder. The daemon blade fell to ground with an eerie scream, the displeasure of a missed kill causing the creature trapped within to become irate. The commanders lifeless arm released its grip on the blade as it began to roll on the floor, apparently attempting to right itself and get back into the action. The bloodthirster in the warp heard the cry and again worked to force its way into the realm of the living. The librarian and the chaplain locked eyes for the briefest of moments in an unspoken acknowledgment of what need to be done. The Commander was frozen, the physical trauma of the severed limb enough even to slow the synaptic responses of a blood crazed super human. As a single unit in perfect harmony, the librarian twisted his blade within the gut of Xangiro as the chaplain swung his heavy axe full circle to deliver a final decisive blow separating head from body. The leaders body dropped to one side as the daemon blade gave another ear piercing scream. The bloodthirster had forced its head through the rift by this time and bellowed in defiance at the pair of marines facing him. Ektaond pierced the great beast down through the jaw of its open mouth as the chaplain cut its exposed hands of from its grip on the rift. The final roars of the beast where scarcely audible as the psyker blasted him back into the warp and closed the gateway it had been fighting its way through.

 

The defeat of the commander and the greater daemon was a huge blow to the khornate force but there was still a huge mass of lesser daemons crawling all over the fortress monastery and all over the planet. The remaining battle brothers would have been hard pushed to take down all of the daemons but there saviour came descending from the heavens borne aloft on wings fit for an angel. The figure appeared just as the fight was coming to a close. Swooping down and slaying daemons in a wave of destruction. The battle brothers encouraged by this divine saviour were spurred on to greater feats. With the fortress walls still intact and defended and the new figure decimating the daemons it finally appeared that the chapter was to survive this day. With the fall of his two most powerful pawns and the arrival of this holy warrior the god of blood lost interest in the ensuing battle. He’s prize of turning another chapter had eluded him this time. The warp storm disipitated and the clear atmosphere once again became visible. The remaining blood letters started to fade out and lose substance in this world. The drive behind the attack had been extinguished and they no longer had a hold on reality. The daemon sword was carefully extracted from the war zone and housed in a sealed containment chamber, hidden in the deepest depths under the chapters monastery. It is kept as a trophy of the great battle that was fought that day, a to serve as a reminder that the greatest enemy is that which dwells within us.

 

This seems mostly fine but the arrival of the Sanguinor seems very Deus Ex Machina to me, although in all honesty that's kind of the point to the character. Also, implied namedrop.

 

The time of tears.

 

“flere est non piaculum”

To cry is not a sin

 

For their parts in the victory that day Chief librarian Ektaond and high chaplain Gal Dreper were given the highest accolades of the chapter and are both respected as the saviours of the chapter. This praise however was not to be officially acknowledged throughout the imperium. For the members of the adeptus astartes a chapter who’s commander has gone over to the side of chaos is to be considered renegade. This leaves the chapter standing at the boundary of mankind defending the imperium from the many and varied foes that wish to bring the downfall of man, whilst being considered enemy of the very people that they sacrifice their lives defending. In the wake of the great war there was a long depression throughout the chapter. Numbers depleted, chapter master killed, rejected by the imperium and still stationed on a constantly threatened border with no chance of reinforcements from other chapters. The chapter would have struggled to survive through the ensuing years if it hadn‘t been for the appointing of a wise and powerful leader.

Since returning from the battle barge in pursuit of Lucius, the honoured leader of the veteran company has been seated at the head of the chapter. Commander Chuk Dred has been a venerable chapter master since the war. He has been dubbed by his brothers “the lord of sorrow“ for the heavy burden of shame and guilt put upon him by the actions of his predecessor. The dishonour laid upon the chapter by Xangiro is a source of remorse for all the chapter to this but none have so much to prove than the new chapter master. He has been acclaimed for his embodiment of the primarch Sanguinius for his foresight, planning and leadership. As an established veteran of war he has shown that none can equal his vigour and skill in combat. As a leader he has shown he has the strategic mindset to get the upper hand on most enemies, a passion for his chapter that inspires the battle brothers below him and the competence of organisation to lead every branch of the chapter out of the shadow of their past and thrive in the present. He has implemented changes that have allowed the chapter to recover from their loses, to survive the constant attacks from outsiders and to move forward into the future as a new chapter.

 

Ah yes, but what are his flaws? He has to have flaws if he is to avoid being branded a Mary Sue character. Make no bones, you have to make him sound less perfect.

 

In a decision by the high council to help the chapter move forward it was declared that they must reinvent themselves, to move away from the history that scars the history of the angels awoken. The strongest symbol of the conflict of that time was, and remains to be, the captured daemon sword. Since its entombing in the heart of the planet, the blade weeps endlessly, lamenting it’s lost power, yearning for the thrill of blood shed and the destruction of lives. This symbol, coupled with the dark emotion of the chapter lead to the renaming of them as Angels Tears. The chapter symbol was switched from an open eye to a tear, although most banners will have the eye and the tear together. The armour was changed from orange and white to orange and black to represent the dark times past and the emotion now carried by the chapter. The history of the chapter has already happened and cannot be undone, but the brothers that remain are not to be labelled the same as the crazed commander that lead to them being outcast from the armies of humanity. They know and recall with sorrow those dark days, but in following with their previous masters’ thoughts, it is by knowing and understanding your flaws that you can make your weaknesses into strengths. Since then all members of the chapter are routinely interviewed and assessed for mental health by a committee made up of the chaplains, priests and librarians of the chapter. Chapter master Dred, by his own recommendation, is included in this, so too are the members of the committee assessed individual by the peers they are normally seated with. While the Angels tears can accept that the red thirst and black rage are inevitable, they must do all within their power to ensure that the influence of the chaos gods will never again take hold within the chapter.

In the years following the cursed war the chapter needed to replenish its numbers so they fortified the planetary defences and minimised the amount of attacks they would launch. In the centuries that have passed they have replenished much of their strength, although no longer officially recognised as a loyal chapter the people of Coldavius, it’s moons and the neighbouring planets still look to them as heroes, and there is no greater honour for a family than to have a child join the marines that defend them. Due to the relative desperation of the chapter to amass troops constantly they have the lowest standard of entry for new recruits. Anyone willing to risk their life for the chapter is given a chance to prove themselves as a scout to earn the honour of becoming a fully fledged space marine. The missions in the preliminary stages of training are mostly hunter-gatherer missions on the moons which are home to a large number of dangers but a vital supply of food for the citizens and workers of Coldavius.

 

Gathering food for regular humans? Seems a bit... pointless to me. Seriously, it's a bit beneath marines to get scouts to gather food for the unwashed masses. They can do that themselves.

 

The silent revolt.

“justicia pro righteous “

Justice for the righteous

 

Following the Cursed War there was a phase of communication between the high council of the chapter and the outside world. In the first period Commander Dred and the highest chaplains and priests had contacted the leaders of man to plea for forgiveness after their previous leaders betrayal. Citing temporary insanity of the leader and the unquestionable loyalty of the remaining brothers they wanted to be acknowledged for their actions in the name of the emperor. The request was denied flatly. The chapter had been considered a problem before the commander’s betrayal because of their war hungry and blood lusting nature. The fall of Xangiro was the opening the adeptus astartes wanted to wash their hands of the chapter once and for all. After these attempts had failed the council was contacted by a committee of blood angels. The council was told that there was a way to show their remorse, a way to return honour to the chapter and earn a place in the history books of mankind once more. The lord of sorrow was hopeful at this news and was willing to welcome a task force of Blood Angels to Coldavius to discuss the redemption of the tears.

 

That's... dangerous. Admitting failure and taint to the wider Imperium is a bit foolish if you ask me - Inquisitors and firebrands would scream "Heresy!" until they're blue in the face. Admitting it to the BA however seems a more realistic option, I think.

 

In 880.M41 a small space cruiser was dispatched from Baal, just captain Andromo and a tactical squad to serve as his personal escort. The planets defences were all taken offline when the ship came within range as an act of good faith. The high council of the Angels tears met in a conference chamber, specially constructed in the middle of nowhere, a point that could never be found again on a map of the underground networks. As prearranged the tears representatives arrived unarmed, it had not been discussed but they were surprised to see the captain armed and his troops stood with their bolters ready. At the meeting the council of the angels tears were filled with hope and optimism, a meeting with a blood angels captain to discuss a method by which the disgraced chapter could make amends. Andromo was not there to discuss nor negotiate, he was there as an ambassador for the blood angels with one message, one demand. As they assembly was seated Andromo lay down the conditions of their acquittal. The entire chapter was to disarm immediately and surrender their lives in loyalty to their emperor and the memory of their shared primarch. The members of the angels tears where stunned. Loyalty to the cause would of course lead them to conform to their parent chapters request, but what use would there be to their sacrifice? Andromo informed them that after Xangiro’s betrayal there lifes are meaningless, their very existence is a dishonour and discredit to his own chapter, the blood angels, the true descendants of Sanguinius.

 

No problem with this bit at all.

 

The choice was laid down, swear allegiance and allow the complete annihilation of the chapter, or refuse the demands and be forever sworn as an enemy of the emperor. Commander Dred, the lord of sorrow, could make no sense of the decision. His newly re-founded chapter completely destroyed to undo the crazed antics of the former leader in a moment of madness. The captain of the blood angels unit was adamant, any blood angel successor that cannot tell the difference between the red thirst and the whispered seductions of the blood god is too dangerous to allow to serve on the side of man, and any foe of the imperium must be dealt with accordingly. The lord of sorrow divulged information of the appearance of the Sanguinor claiming that it must be the will of Sanguinius for the chapter to survive. Captain Andromo rejected the claim without hesitation and branded the commander and his informants to be liars. The debate got heated and tempers flared. The commander of the angels tears desperately trying to defend the right of his men to live whilst the captain, his inferior of rank, from the blood angels unflinchingly demanded their extermination. As the argument erupted threats were made by the captain. “Bow down and die or we shall return and you shall die like the traitors you so clearly are!” blasted Andromo covering the face of commander Dred in saliva as he did so. A chaplain on the far side of the chamber, chaplain Hax, was not to take this lightly. Seeing his leader endangered he was instantly overcome with rage. He flew across the chamber with indescribable speed, one outstretched open hand wrapping itself around the captains face. The momentum of the lunge was not to be stopped though, and the pair crashed into the wall behind, the captains head crushed on impact.

 

As the remaining members in the room started to scream in outrage commander Dred was the first to react. He swung himself behind the nearest blood angel, snapping his neck on the way and seizing his fire arm. Amongst the angels of tears there was confusion, Hax was tearing another marine apart bare handed, the ever aggressive chaplains had crashed into their opposing number straight after their leader whilst the priests, still hoping for a resolution, stood in shock. Dred was the first to unleash rounds taking down those closest of the blood angels. The unengaged tactical troopers poured shots into the easy targets of the preists, two of their number being fatally wounded. The remaining blood angels stood no chance, even with their guns, facing the highest and most experienced members of the tears in sudden close combat. Once the violence ended Dred decreed, before anyone else could speak, that it was his wish to deny the blood angels request, that Hax had done what was asked and was instantly admonished of any crime. No one spoke out against him, everyone present knew what this meant. They were, undeniably, rogue. All eyes moved towards the maniacal Hax . He arose off of the body he had just strangled until the head was dislocated with fire burning behind his eyes. The marines were shocked looking at this madman amidst their ranks. Dred stepped forward and stared into the mans soul and he changed. The rage subsided and he was evidently his usual self again. In chaplain Hax the alterations of the gene-seed had worked as planned. Blinded by a fearless rage in times of danger and able to return to normal when the situation allows it.

The repercussions of their actions were evident, they had gone against the wishes of an official representative of the imperium, even if he did have an agenda based around the blood angels code of honour. Commands where sent to ready all possible defences. The tech marines were dispatched to each of the moons or further out. Heavy weight materials were taken out to Coldavius moons and used to enhance the existing guns, more fire power, faster deploying rockets and much more armour. Cruisers were sent to all neighbouring planets to set up a surveillance web around the planet. The strike was inevitable, the only question is what would they do and how soon it will come.

 

Luck was on their side, the blood angels had acted without the consent or knowledge of any others. They had no authority to order a strike straight away and had to take the case up with the highest committee of elders amongst humanity before they would be able to attack. The blood angels had contacted the members of the adeptus mechanicus to prepare their arms for the retaliatory strike. The AM was worried by the escalating situation sent an undercover ship out to Coldavius. The mech priests were shocked to find themselves in a planet wide building project fortifying the defences. The ambassadors of the AM were warmly received by the angels tears. Discussions were set in motion, the AM did not want any others to know of their project on Coldavius, nor did they want it to end at all. The tears of course wanted to be allowed the chance to survive to continue defending the imperium and to recieve the recognition they deserve. They discussed the meeting with the blood angels and how the situation got out of control. The members of the AM were amazed that the chaplain that stood next to him calmly now had succumbed to the red thirst. Excited by this news he left, with assurances that they would continue to receive their share of the planets riches and the AM would do all possible to prevent the extermination of the new chapter.

The AM then sent representatives to meet with the high council of Terra. With news that in one of their number the gene-seed modification had been successful. Describing the occurrences the AM hinted that the new commander could see into the souls of the enraged and calm them. Intrigued that perhaps their experiment may have borne fruit, that maybe one of the chapters of the 21st founding would not prove to be a disaster, they took the side of the AM. News was relayed to the blood angels that they were not to take action with reassurances that the case is being handled by the highest powers in the imperium.

 

Sorry dude but the BA wouldn't ask permission to exact vengeance on a now-renegade scion chapter. They're a First Founding chapter, they'd just do it and damn the consequences.

 

The AM was appointed to closely monitor the chapter, if they continue to serve the emperor they can be left alive. If they at anytime show signs of being further tainted they would need to be dealt with. The high lords wished to find out if the chapter would eventually progress to have the self control they were designed to have.

In this time the surveillance and guns were set up and ready. The web of trackers around Coldavius was larger and more intricate than anything the Tears had thought possible. The bombardment they was expecting never came. Instead another undercover agent of the AM came by. The resources that the chapter had no understanding of would continue to be sent in their entirety to the AM, along with a percentage of all the other materials that they could mine. It was not so much a deal as a demand, but the high council of the angels tears were pleased with the state of affairs. The chapter was safe. A message was sent to leave them in peace, they would continue to hold the boundary that they had through the centuries and live in secrecy and solitude, no one need know that they exist. This seemed a favourable situation for all concerned, although the blood angel would still like to see them removed.

The enhanced defences now surrounding the planet allowed them the chance to fully recover their number while swarms of enemies attempted to take them down in their weakened state. Since then they have been able to once more take the fight to the enemy, intercepting enemy fleets in space, assassinating powerful rising leaders on their own turf, laying siege to fortresses and planets, doing the work of any chapter of the emperors finest, even if they are no longer acknowledged for it.

 

Why didn't they do this to start with?

 

The touch of chaos

 

The increased isolation has allowed a further decline for the angels tears. The chapter and their home world have been touched by chaos and the corrupting influence of such a powerful force still lingers all around. The flora and fauna of the planet and the moons have changed radically since the Cursed War making all aspects of life hazardous. Their have been reports of an increase in the frequency and tenacity of chaos uprisings in the area. While the marines still see themselves as pure, the population that worships them as heroes are prone to viewing them the same way as the rest of humanity, leading them to worship the dark gods in attempt to pay homage to the marines that protect them. These misguided sect inevitably become neutralised by the battle brothers that they adore. There have been multiple counts of squad captains removing there helms after conflict to reveal abnormalities or mutations. In the first cases the captains have rushed to find a heroic death for themselves to try to retain some honour in life. There was a case of a terminator squad teleported onto a chaos vessel to assassinate its leader returned to find every member had developed a mutation. With out the influence and judgements of uncorrupted humans around these instances have become acceptable, a deviation in the physical form is no problem if the mind is still dedicated to the cause and loyal to the chapter. The adage of the old leaders holding true within the new found chapter, controlling a flaw to become a strength instead of a weakness. Although these mutations are mostly superficial and concealed by their power armour, much of the chapter may look more renegade than loyal. In their own eyes they are still guardians of humanity, proudly defending its borders from the many alien threats. Despite the knowledge that are no longer welcome inside the imperium the angels tears stand at the borders of humanity, stemming the tide of dangers that will destroy the ways of man.

 

In all fairness, in the 40k universe, corruption of body often leads to the corruption of the mind and I think this chapter should have long ceased to think they're anything but renegades, not saviours of humanity.

 

Well, those are my points of contention, at least. The Great Wall of Text has been scaled, brothers. :P Now whether or not you take my suggestions is completely up to you. They are merely suggestions and if you wish to ignore them then that's your perogative, brother.

 

Also, the Cult of Orange may or may not show up at some point. Maybe.

 

Hope this helps. ^_^

WOW! Thanks so much you guys!

Olisredan in particular, an excellent breakdown of everything,

its been a long time since i was fully immersed in the 40k world, great to have a critical analysis from some people who know the imperium inside out.

Nightrawen too, thank you. I'll be checking through all of the points and seeing how i can make my chapter fit the 40k universe better.

 

I only want the chapter to be traitor so i can have some outlandish conversions, especially on the vehicles. I dont want the chapter to be too out there or i would need to justify them having a full contemporary inventory of arms. Is there a smart way i can get this? should i tone things down a bit?

 

I'll take the questions and suggestions away with me into the shadows. when i re-emerge there shall be the full glorious story for the mighty angels tears complete (but ready for more criticism)

Finally, Angels tears, replacing the blood drop with a tear for the logo, is that working for everybody out there?

 

Thanks both of you :rolleyes:

I'v recently read Jervis Johnsons article "murder your darlings" in the latest white dwarf. I feel that it really speaks to me. I dont want to, but perhaps i should just throw away almost all of the piece above and start anew, keep it much briefer, after less details means less innaccuracies right?

My big problem, is if i ignore all of this i cant think of any reason for them to be called the angels tears, which means i cant use the tear drop icon, which means..... i would have to paint a free hand icon on every marine!!!!!

i dont know if i am ready for that yet, mayb after i have done a few squads ill go back and add an icon....

 

But, i am thinking a traitor legion, from the latest founding, still has its new equipment and can therefore use the C:BA, but i have the creative freedom to model the army how i like (which is essentially all iv been trying to do).

I am not after making super characters, i dont want to take the best of chaos and the best of blood angels, i am not thinking to have any allies, i just want blood angels and creative freedom.

How does that sound?

 

again, i am running away to read and reread everything i can, i would like to have a comprehensive background story, even if i am the only one to read and know it.

thanks again for your help :huh:

Don't fret, brother. Consider what's in this thread at the moment a 'first draft'. No sweat. If you like anything in it especially, put it to one side. Now start again. Easy. (Keep a backup of version 1 somewhere though, if only for seeing the difference later on.)

im heavily torn now. i want to use parts of this, but its perhaps easier and cleaner to stat again,

you have given me a lot of help, would you mind if i PM you with any questions i have. I am trying to research more but i have very limited resources and internet right now.

Thanks for your advice though. Next attempt is going to be more out in the realms of renegade.

im heavily torn now. i want to use parts of this, but its perhaps easier and cleaner to stat again,

you have given me a lot of help, would you mind if i PM you with any questions i have. I am trying to research more but i have very limited resources and internet right now.

Thanks for your advice though. Next attempt is going to be more out in the realms of renegade.

 

Go right ahead, brother. I'm here to help. :)

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.