The Carnivores

[Uprising]

Warning, I am not the best writer(Just ask my English Teacher :o ) and please take it easy this is my first DIY.

Cyrus looks down in disgust as he see his chaotic brothers being tear limb from limb by the savages of the Carnivores. Cyrus starts to remember the numerous sent backs on this Death World of there arch enemy, The Carnivores. Returning his focus to the battle field infront of him, He Barks out orders for his havoc to release death from their four autocannons. Suddenly there was a noise from the thick vegetation on his right flank. Cyrus was only able to scream “Clever Loyalist” as he was tore apart by a Carnivore. As he laid on the jungle floor all he saw was his squad being tear apart by there chainswords. The last thing Cyrus heard before he died, was the voice of the Carnivore that cut him done say “Welcome to the Jungle, Traitor!”

Name: Carnivore

Founding:The 13th but refounding was around the 23rd founding, Early M37

Geneseed:“We thanks our brothers, the Ultramarine and their Primarch for their gifts of Life. But their inability to adapted is their greatest flaw. We the Carnivores will adapt to the countless horrors of the universe or our fate will be exctinction.” Chaplain Tyrannus

The heritage of the Carnivores like many chapters that of the Ultramarine geenseed. Their founding members and their Chapter Master-Chaplain Tyrannus came from the Crypt Keepers after the incident on Jurrac.

Why was the Chapter formed: “The war was like any other. Full of death, lost, carnage, and destruction on both sides. But the experience of that one world, that one world will forever change us. For memories of that place, the place of death will forever haunt us.” Chaplain Tyrannus

The coming of the Carnivores was unlike many other chapter`s creation, for they where created from the tragic event on Jurrac. Originally the chapter was know as the Crypt Keepers, a fleet base chapter of the 13th founding. Identical to their parent chapter the Mortifactors, they serve in countless battle and purge many worlds in the Emperor`s name. Their evolution into the Carnivore came in their darkest hour, when the whole chapter became maroon on Jurrac.

when the (Name pending) Sector experienced a massive Chaotic insurrection, the local PDF were quickly overrun by chaos cultists led by a chaos warband of unknown origin. The Crypt Keepers entered the sector, only two worlds were still under the command of the Imperium. The whole chapter became the sector salvation and eventually turn the tide of battle. The finale battle was in orbit over the Death World: Jurarc. In the planet`s orbit, ships battle in a fight to the death on both sides. Both fleet were completely destroyed and the remaining troops and wreckage rained down on Jurrac. At the climax of the battle only two ships remain: The Necropolis( the Crypt Keeper flag ship) and the Chaos Flag Ship. The Necropolis was shoot down and started to drop into Jurrac atmospheric. Before losing all power, the Necropolis was able to take down the chaos flag ship resulting in a similar fate as the Necropolis. The survivors of these crashes now clash on the surface of Jurrac.

The next three years was a countless struggle to survive the horrors of the Jurrac and to destroy the enemies forces. During a full moon, the final battle ended the conflict once and for all. The next morning a chaos lord head would become a new trinket on the trophy rack, of a newly risen chaplain. But the victory was a hollow one for the chapter Master was slain, along with the rest of the commanders. The survivors, roughly a single company size turn to the guidance of the chapter last great hero, the Chaplain. This Chaplain would later become known as Chaplain Tyrannus.

After that tragic night the remaining force of the Crypt Keepers continue surviving the dangers of Jurrac for the next eleven years. Salvation finally came from the Mortifactors, who has pick up their distress signal. When the Mortifactors first saw the remaining Crypt Keepers, they were shock by the transformation of their kin. Their bone white armor was replaced by jungle green and the golden trim has become brazen color. Their armor display many tribal markings and grizzly trophies from their kills. The most drastic change was the mutation the chapter has obtain on their stay. Their leader Tyrannus, had become a savage and murderous warrior, not the epitome of honor and courage that a chaplain was meant to be. In combat he was now unstoppable, viciously mutilating and butchering his enemies. The remaining survivors mirror their leader in this behavior. The Mortifactors were left with a massive decision to make.

In normal situations, The Inquisition would have decide the fate of these lost marines. The survivor would have face certain death by their hands. Luckily for the survivors the relationship between the Inquisition and the Mortifactors is rocky at best, after a few incidents. Lord Magyar: Chapter Master of the Mortifactors would not allow his fellow brothers to be destroy for no reason. He decide to leave the remaining Crypt Keepers to his own Judgement and the judgment of the Council. Each survivor undergoes testing and then retold the story of the campaign in front of Lord Magyar and his council. Some Councilors were concern about the possible taint and corruption of chaos even though the test for corruption were negative. Others pity the fallen chapter and wish to aid their fellow brothers. The entire council enter meditation when a Librarian receive a vision. He spoke of a recent vision of a monstrous lizard skull with its teeth wrapped around a daemon skull, with Tyrannus voice repeating “The end draws close”. The true meaning behind the vision was unknown but this was enough for Magyar to make a choice on the chapter fate.

Lord Magyar took Tyrannus to his chambers to discuss the terms of their freedom. The survivor would receive a Strike Cruiser class ship if two conditions were met. First the true origins of the past chapter is kept in secret. The final condition a Mortifactors joins them on their travel to guide them on their way. Lord Magyar decide the Librarian, who vision sent this all in motivation should be the guide. Tyrannus quickly agree to the term and never said another word to Lord Magyar again. Many of the Mortifactors were relieved to see the survivors leave due to the fact the survivors behavior scared them. Others saw them as lost brothers, who fate is uncertain. The Strike Cruiser renamed (name pending) transport the newly form chapter returns to Jurrac to start with a fresh slate. The survivor begin the long road to rebuilding the chapter. They find the remains of the Necropolis and turn the noble wreckage into their new Fortress Monastery: (name pending). The hunt for other lost relic and equipment was another part of rebuilding. Other wreckage and crash sites still contain valuable remains and equipment scatter in the murderous jungles of the planet. These salvage missions will later inspire the “Descent into Abyss” all recruits partake in. With the reconstructions of the chapter complete, many felt it was time to show their true color to the universe. The chapter renamed themselves The Carnivores and set out to begin a new bloodier history. And So They Did

Sector: “This is our home; this is the place of our reborn. As long as I still breathe, this world will not fall” Chaplain Tyrannus

The (name pending) Sector containing the Carnivores' Homeworld is located in the Ultima Segmentum. Before the Chaos Invasion, The sector contains seven planets total - two Civilized worlds, two hive, an agri-world, one Penal World and Jurrac (Death World). After the Invasion only Jurrac wasn`t in complete ruins. With the return of the Carnivores, these worlds were later rebuild into a sector with a stronger defense.

Jurrac(Homeworld): “Where else in the universe do you see deino-sauria eat primitive humans?”

The homeworld of the Carnivore is a nightmarish place of death and carnage. The limit landmass has an endless surface of dense jungle, steamy swamps and bottomless chasms. The rest of the planet is covered with 75% of ocean, which is far more dangerous then the murderous jungles. The homeworld denizens included numerous predatory reptilian species and other life forms that mimic those of legend who dwelled on ancient Terra. Surprisingly, the planet is home to several small tribes of humans who live in a primitive state. Most of the tribes are scattered thought the world but many live near the coastal area or inside the ancient ruins in the jungle. With the return and settlement of the Carnivore, little change has occurred on the planet. The most notable difference is two full Companies are always present, keeping their watchful gaze on the planet while their brothers prey upon the xenos, the tainted and traitors.

Recruitment: “Surviving the nightmarish chasms, was like fighting daemons in the Warp.”

The new recruits of the Chapter come from Jurrac only. Surviving the dangers of Jurrac makes the natives perfect recruits for becoming Space Marines. When the native`s hunting parties are roaming the jungle for prey, the Carnivores are constantly watching for possible recruits. If an individual shows the skills of a true hunter and warrior, a carnivore will approach him. The native is given a choice to stay or leave with the warrior to become one of them. No one has ever decline this offer and given a week of celebration for his sacrifice for humanity. The village is engulf in a state of feasting and partying with the recruiting Carnivore present for the week. After the week has past the individual is taken back to the fortress monastery and enroll as a scout. The training for the scouts are in a similar manner to other chapters but for one exceptional trial known as “The Descent Into the Abyss”. The final mission as a scout is to survive the deep abyss that covers part of their Homeworld. This task may seem simple until one looks at the condition of the mission. The squad is required to complete two major objectives while facing the predators that stalk the abyss. The first objective is to recover a Chapter relic that Veterans have already hidden within the pits. Upon finding this relic they must hold the position while waiting for evac. The chapter will retrieve the survivors after a random length of time, ranging from a few days to a few months. During this time, the Scouts have to survive the constant assaults of the dangerous predators that reside in the abyss. After every day within the hellish abyss, ammunition crates are dropped into the chasms to resupply the scouts. Unbeknownst to the scouts, their new found gear is cover with hormones that attracts even more predators from miles around to the pits, worsening their situlation. The other task of a scout is to earn a worthy kill within these pits. If a Scout is unable to recover a bone of a slain creature, then the mission must be retaken until he is successful or death takes him first. Upon their return to the Fortress-Monastery, the recovered bone is used to create their new Chapter symbol. This gives the new battle-brother a constant reminder of their homeworld as they purge the universe of their foes.

Organization:

The Carnivore chapter follows the Codex except for a few deviations cause by the influence of Tyrannus and the nature of the natives. There are no Scout or Veteran Companies instead each Company has an attachment of these specialist units. This change in Company organisation allows the chapter to perform its famous tactics. Unlike other chapters, the Carnivores have no reserve Companies; instead each Company is tasked with operating independently. This leads to many of the Companies being under strength but the Carnivore refuse to change. They believe it is their destiny to be always ready to destroy the enemies of the Emperor. The destruction of the Carnivores is prevented by the fact that two Companies are always present on Thanatos. When a Company return to protect the planet, this gives them the chance to restore their losses. The Chapter also differ from the Codex because they use of color and insignia to distinguish rank. The Chapter's Veterans, Sergeants and Officers are given a helmet colored brazen to present their leadership rank. Instead of changing their shoulder pad color to show their Company, they use claw marks on knee pad or on the right shoulder pad. - Scout units have no claw marks to denote their Company. Other symbols and insignia approved in the Codex are also missing within the chapter; these symbols are replaced with markings depicting the savage fauna of their homeworld.

Combat Doctrine:

Even though the Chapter have the same equipment as other chapters, the Carnivores prefer shock-and-awe tactics to kill their prey. The use of reconnaissance units is vital to this tactic due to the need of the element of surprise. When the reconnaissance units perform their duty, the hunt begins. The main assault force then performs lighting assaults on the enemy forces simultaneously. If resistance proves too heavy, the Chapter forces quickly regroup to prevent losses and strike at another angle, causing more carnage and confusion in the ranks of the enemy. Similar to a pack of deino-sauria toying with their prey, this process is repeated again and again until a major weakness in the enemy forces is discovered. If a weakness if revealed, the Chapter`s Terminator veterans are deployed to perform the killing blow. This style of warfare fits the predatory nature of the Chapter perfectly. Due to this predatory style of warfare, all of the Carnivore's units regardless of their position carry a wide variety of close combat weaponry. The addition of these weapons always allows them to engage in vicious and bloody melee combat.

Beliefs: “Survival of a specie is the only reason to wage war, nothing else matter”

The Beliefs of the Carnivores started out very much akin to their parent Chapter, but the new recruits and the planet itself caused their beliefs system to change drastically. Jurrac itself, has influence the beliefs of the chapter greatly. The Carnivore see the planet as a perfect paradise, that provide the secrets of surviving the horrors of the universe. They venerate the home planet for unlocking the ways of war. Many of the unique fighting styles and tactics use by the Carnivores are influenced by watching many of the predatory animals fight for food and survival. During the education of the new recruits, many view the Emperor as the Ultimate Predator. They worship his predatory trait, his ability to adapt and survive any danger. The "hunt or be hunted" attitude of Jurracs` native resulted in a change of the mind set of the Chapter. This lifestyle has cause many in the Chapter to believe that if mankind are to become the ultimate predators, they must learn to adapt from their foes and use this knowledge against them. This on more then one occasions has led to tension between the Carnivore and their parent Chapter. The hard lifestyle on Jurrac makes many of the chapter view honor as a backward belief that impairs the overall survival of mankind. To a Carnivore the simple belief in honor is false and has made many brave heroes go down a path of death, corruption or worse for no reason. The past has proven numerous examples of this is the truth but the chapter pity those who has not relieve this truth yet. Even though this strong belief against honor creates tension between the Carnivore and the more proud factions in the Imperium, they would have it no other way. For a Carnivore, basic survival is more important then false honor.

Geneseed Mutation: “Many believes that our gifts are mutations in our geneseed. They wish too cure us of our difference. It saddens me greatly, to see our fellow mankind try to destroy the evolution, of its protectors.”

For unknown reasons, the members of the Carnivores Chapter geneseed reacts with the planet of Jurrac itself, resulting in extreme mutations. Many suggest that it’s the failure of the Omophagea Gland to absorb the genetic material of Thanatos`wild life. This theory is the most widely accepted but other more radical thinkers believe something more sinister is the cause. The Carnivores grow large carnivorous teeth similar to many of the predator of Jurrac. The Betcher's Gland inside a Carnivore suffer from over-development, which allows the use of an toxic spray, that blinds and eats away tissue from the foe; the Carnivores use this odd mutation as an unexpected weapon against enemies. The most extreme mutations is a state of increase hunger that induces a feeding frenzy within the Chapter. Even though the individual suffers a state of extreme hunger and need for carnage, this state only last for a short time. This degeneration of the geneseed has made many in the Imperium questions the stability of the Chapter. These mutations have cause varies problems between the Chapter and their allies. Even other Space Marine Chapters view them with superstition and caution at the very least, but the Carnivores themself views there mutation as gifts from there home world.

Finally the color schemes

Stranded Marine

Vets/sergs

[Crusader of Dorn]

Sounds like a good idea, if a little 'Jurrasic park meets 40k'. lots of info and plausible IMO.

 

I have only scanned through, you should break up the sections as it quite hard to read the wall of text.

 

A bunch of Barbarians, but atleast your loyal :)

[Uprising]

Sounds like a good idea, if a little 'Jurrasic park meets 40k'. lots of info and plausible IMO.

 

I have only scanned through, you should break up the sections as it quite hard to read the wall of text.

 

A bunch of Barbarians, but atleast your loyal :tu:

True, the wall of text is very hard to read. I will have to fix that. I have to disagree with them being a bunch of Barbarians. My main goal was to make them have an animal noblity to them, like a wolf or lion instead of a sense of honor humans have. But i thanks you for your comments and wish others would give their opinion to my diy.

[Captain Forcystus]

What stands out to me the most here is the gene-seed mutations. Thats quite a change there that makes them almost suited for the 21st founding if it werent for the fact that it was the world itself rather than experimentation that effected the gene seed in such a way. I can imagine these mutations make other chapters a bit wary of them. I was also wondering just how does Thanatos induce these wild mutations? If you dont have a clear idea for that you could say it has something to do with the Omophagea since it absorbs genetic material from things consumed by the marines . Just thought id throw that out there

 

The whole dinosaur-marine thing is cool and I can honestly say that I havent seen something like it.

[NightrawenII]

Hello. Let's jump straight at the pivotal point of this IA and its pitfall; Tyrannus.

 

The Imperium and Chapters of Adeptus Astartes are uncompromising when it comes to spiritual corruption and the Tyrannus is prime example of such case. He will be examined and if the taint will be present, purged. The Space Marines cannot afford any sentiment in this matter. And what makes things worse, his behaviour resembles a Khornate marine, all of it right after fight with Chaos cultists.

 

The details of Sector are pointless, if these don't influence the Chapter in one or another way.

 

The Organisation needs a little explanation.

 

Putting aside the Deus ex Machina explanation, the Geneseed Mutation doesn't have any disadvantage... It's fine to have 'useful' mutation(s), but there should be some offset.

 

Also, where do the Carnivores recruit their members? It's rather unclear.

[Uprising]

The Imperium and Chapters of Adeptus Astartes are uncompromising when it comes to spiritual corruption and the Tyrannus is prime example of such case. He will be examined and if the taint will be present, purged. The Space Marines cannot afford any sentiment in this matter. And what makes things worse, his behaviour resembles a Khornate marine, all of it right after fight with Chaos cultists.

 

The details of Sector are pointless, if these don't influence the Chapter in one or another way.

 

The Organisation needs a little explanation.

 

Putting aside the Deus ex Machina explanation, the Geneseed Mutation doesn't have any disadvantage... It's fine to have 'useful' mutation(s), but there should be some offset.

 

Also, where do the Carnivores recruit their members? It's rather unclear.

First off my main idea for Tyrannus was for him not to be corrupt or tainted but still be a faithful servant of the Empereor with a different out look on life. I think some smoothing out is still necessary.

For the sector i think i need to add some more detail before i decide to keep or drop it.

Can you go into more details were the organisations needs more explaining? It looks fine to me.

I believe going into a uncontrollable state were you stop to fight and eat everything is an offset.

The recruiting section should talk more about other details beside the finally mission. Will have to add to that later.

 

Captain Forcystus--- Thats a good idea with the Omophagea causing the mutations. I think i will have to add that to my IA.

 

I thank both of you for your opinion and time.

[CKO]

A great start but one of the things I am having a hard time believing is the Chapter Master giving a marine he doesnt trust the honor of leading a new space marine chapter. I think as the Mortificator's Chapter Master he would not risk the reputation of using their geneseed to someone like Tyrannus.

[NightrawenII]

Can you go into more details were the organisations needs more explaining? It looks fine to me.

The Mortifactors are Codex Chapter, your Chapter is not. - Jump in logic without explanation.

[Ace Debonair]

Can you go into more details were the organisations needs more explaining? It looks fine to me.

I've got one detail I can bring up.

 

I'm not sure about your Chapter dropping it's reserve companies. It doesn't seem like a good idea.

I recently had this discussion in another topic, so to save re-typing what I said there, I'm going to be lazy for a moment and just quote myself. :)

 

OK. That's probably not a wise move on the part of your Chapter. The Reserve Companies are actually pretty vital - and I speak from experience here. My own previous attempts to phase them out didn't entirely go down well, you see.

 

They play the vital role of keeping your battle companies at full strength. If you're losing marines in the battle companies, you replace them from the reserves, who then have to wait for more scouts to graduate into full marines or whatnot.

 

With no Reserve companies to train & maintain the skills that Astartes normally learn there, your Chapter will take more losses on the field. Over time, your Chapter would almost certainly find itself in a perilous situation of losing recruits faster than it can recruit them.

Now, I can see a Chapter that's consumed by a carnivorous rage on the battlefield occasionally maybe losing sight of the bigger picture and still going with the decision to abolish reserve companies. Perhaps they'd even refuse to believe it would lead to their eventual demise, and that would probably be a pretty cool spin to put on things - have the Chapter dying out, but unwilling to compromise.

 

But either way, I thought it might be a good idea to give you a heads up on the probable consequences of removing the Reserve Companies. :)

[Aegnor]

Hey, good to see you still working away at this. I think the bits that still need some work will be good but need a bit of refinement. Keep it up, I like these guys.

[Bjorn Firewalker]

I take it "Carnosaur" is already in use as a Chapter name? Otherwise an interesting and original idea. Perhaps the mutation includes growing rows of triangular teeth, and each tooth lost will be immediately replaced by the one behind it, like a reptile.

 

By the way, the experiences of Tyrannus and his band of Mortifactors on the first campaign to Thanatos, MUST be explained, otherwise it's too easy to assume they committed some great and terrible sin, like turn to Chaos warship to survive on that planet. Maybe you can have an "official" explanation and an "unofficial" one, e.g., the Mortifactors' logbooks show Tyrannus used guerilla warfare tactics to defeat a Slaaneshi warband, but rumors persist that he triumphed by turning to Khorne for the power to defeat the cultists, despite multiple purity tests confirming Tyrannus isn't tainted.

[Aegnor]

My reading wasn't that he dabbled on Khorne, and I agree it would be good to actually make that a bit clearer. Rather, I thought he "went native", adopting the values and worldview of the natives there regarding the need to be a savage predator. He could be like Colonel Kurtz from Apocalypse Now (not Konrad from the Night Lords) in that he started "taking his orders from the jungle", which he came to see as teaching the values required of a Space Marine.

[Uprising]

Well with all the advice given lately, i decide to take a break and think about everyone comments. As always thanks for your help.

 

CKO, NightrawenII and BJorn- The seperation of Tyrannus from the Mortifactors and creation of the chapter is probably the hardest part of this IA for me. I want the mystery of the 65 days on thanatos to remain, so the reader can make their own descions on what happen. I know it needs more work but i don`t want to lose the mystery. I also have no idea why The Chapter master allowed tyrannus a chance to start a new chapter. If anyone has any idea please share, i have nothing.

 

NightrawenII- good point. I will add reasoning for the formation and why their different.

 

Ace-Good idea and good point about the importance of the reserve company. In my chapter fluff their always two full company on the homeworld. Then after a certain amount of time those company switch with two deplete companies, who are returning from battling. Would this allow them to replace their lost without using reserve company?

 

Bjorn- I didn`t chose carnosaurs for two reason. The first is it`s a made up dinosaur name like brontosaurus( ;) ) and also because i am using different traits from all prehistoric predators not just dinosaurs. The mutation of rows of teeth that are replace contanstly are a trait of sharks not reptile. The idea of them going to chaos worship is something i didn`t think about but could be an interesting twist. Also the explanation part is really good but like i said above, i need to figure out why Tyrannus has change before adding some details. But i am glad you like the idea.

 

Aegnor- I was starting to worry that you forgot about me after all the help you gave me in my rough draft. I actually look up the colonel Kurtz and thats a very interesting concept. I know i need to work on the "why the chapter was form" but i am stuck on this part.

 

As you all have point out, the part marked "Why was the Chapter formed" seems to be the part everyone doesn`t agree with. I would be greatful for any advice on this part and any other misunderstood part that need improve. thanks for reading.

[Culebras]

Well with all the advice given lately, i decide to take a break and think about everyone comments. As always thanks for your help.

 

CKO, NightrawenII and BJorn- The seperation of Tyrannus from the Mortifactors and creation of the chapter is probably the hardest part of this IA for me. I want the mystery of the 65 days on thanatos to remain, so the reader can make their own descions on what happen. I know it needs more work but i don`t want to lose the mystery. I also have no idea why The Chapter master allowed tyrannus a chance to start a new chapter. If anyone has any idea please share, i have nothing.

 

Bjorn- I didn`t chose carnosaurs for two reason. The first is it`s a made up dinosaur name like brontosaurus( :D ) and also because i am using different traits from all prehistoric predators not just dinosaurs. The mutation of rows of teeth that are replace constantly are a trait of sharks not reptile. The idea of them going to chaos worship is something I didn`t think about but could be an interesting twist. Also the explanation part is really good but like i said above, i need to figure out why Tyrannus has change before adding some details. But i am glad you like the idea.

 

Aegnor- I was starting to worry that you forgot about me after all the help you gave me in my rough draft. I actually look up the colonel Kurtz and thats a very interesting concept. I know i need to work on the "why the chapter was form" but i am stuck on this part.

 

As you all have point out, the part marked "Why was the Chapter formed" seems to be the part everyone doesn`t agree with. I would be greatful for any advice on this part and any other misunderstood part that need improve. thanks for reading.

 

If I may throw in my two cents. On the reason why was the chapter formed, there are many possible reasons. The ones I would suggest are more mystical than logical. I have a source book for the Deathwatch RPG which gives possible reasons for a space marine chapter being founded, with two of them being 1) to fight an enemy and 2) emperor's tarot.

 

The first would make sense if the sector the Carnovors inhabit is still under threat from chaos. The Imperium may have decided that they needed a permanent force in that area, and the honors won by the Mortifactors could be used to justify setting up a chapter

 

the Second option, and the one I like more, is that the Mortifactors (already a very superstitious chapter) receive a cryptic prophecy from an inquisitor warning against a coming evil or enemy that the Mortifactors cannot face alone. Perhaps, a librarian has a vision of a dinosaur skull with its teeth wrapping around a human skull, though if in protection or devouring is unclear.

 

In any case, those are just some ideas to help out

 

On a side note, (And cause I have wanted to throw this idea out for a while) If you decide to take this army from the page to the tabletop, might i suggest converting the Cold One Calvary from the Dark Elf line of Warhammer Fantasy into Space Marines Riding velociraptors? It could count as Thunderwolf calvary if you want to use the Space Wolf Codex and it would totally fit your army concept not to mention look Baddass. :D

(I came up with that idea awhile ago but haven't had the money to implement it)

[Bjorn Firewalker]

The mutation of rows of teeth that are replace contanstly are a trait of sharks not reptile.

Look up some articles on the Tyrannosaurus Rex. The rows of teeth is a trait that carnosaurs ALSO have.

The idea of them going to chaos worship is something i didn`t think about but could be an interesting twist.

My suggestion was NOT that Tyrannus and the Carnivores worship Chaos, but that hatred of one Chaos faction (Slaanesh) will be seen as circumstantial evidence of worship of its rival faction (Khorne)- a conclusion many an Inquisitor has jumped to, I'm sure.

[Uprising]

With the advice from Bjorn and Culebras, I think i fix all the issue with why the chapter was formed and still kept the mystery of what really happen. I also work on the organization part but in my opinion it still need some work done.

 

On a side note, (And cause I have wanted to throw this idea out for a while) If you decide to take this army from the page to the tabletop, might i suggest converting the Cold One Calvary from the Dark Elf line of Warhammer Fantasy into Space Marines Riding velociraptors? It could count as Thunderwolf calvary if you want to use the Space Wolf Codex and it would totally fit your army concept not to mention look Baddass.

(I came up with that idea awhile ago but haven't had the money to implement it)

Great mind must think alike as I already have plans to do that conversions, just because the Dark elves cold ones are one of my favorite miniature. If you have any links for the conversion on it, i will forever be grateful.

[PorridgeMeister]

Cyrus looked down in disgust as he see his chaotic brothers being torn limb from limb by the savage Carnivores. Cyrus started to remember the numerous set-backs on the Death World home of their arch enemy. Returning his focus to the battle field in front of him, he barked out an order to his Havocs to unleash death from their four autocannons. Suddenly there was a noise from the thick vegetation on his right flank. Cyrus was only able to scream “Clever loyalist” as he was tore apart by a Carnivore. As he laid on the jungle floor all he saw was his squad being tear apart by their chainswords. The last thing Cyrus heard before he died was the voice of the Carnivore that cut him done say “Welcome to the jungle, traitor!”

 

Name: Carnivores

Founding:23th founding, Early M37

Geneseed:“We thank our brothers, the Ultramarines and their Primarch for their gift of Life. But their inability to adapt is a great flaw; we, the Carnivores, will adapt to the countless horrors of the universe or our fate will be extinction.” Chaplain Tyrannus

The heritage of the Carnivores like many chapters is athat of the Ultramarine. Their founding members and their Chapter Master-Chaplain Tyrannus came from the Mortifactors after the incident on Thanatos.

 

Founding of the Chapter: “The war was like any other; full of death, lost, carnage, and destruction on both sides. But the experience of that one world, that one world will forever change me. For memories of that place, of that place of death will forever haunt me.” Chaplain Tyrannus

 

The Carnivores were created when the (Name pending) Sector experienced a massive Chaotic insurrection. The local PDF were quickly overrun by chaos cultists led by a chaos warband of unknown origin. When the Mortifactors 3rd Company and the Cadian 239th entered the sector, only two worlds were still under the command of the Imperium. The Mortifactors under the command of Chaplain Tyrannus quickly turned the tide of battle. After a few months the forces of Chaos still controlled the Penal Death World, Thanatos. Most of the Chaos forces were bogged down on the Forge World, the defenses of which were deadly to the invading traitors. The Mortifactors led a three-pronged strike against these worlds, to finally end the war. The planet known as Thanatos, was to be purged by Chaplain Tyrannus. Fate was not on the side of Tyrannus - the Thunderhawk en route to Thanatos was shot down whilst landing on the surface. After 65 days the survivors purged the final elements of the warband.

 

What happened on Thanatos during these 65 days is a complete mystery to all but the survivors. By the time they returned to the 3rd Company's ship, they had been forever changed. Tyrannus had become a savage and murderous warrior, not the epitome of honour and courage that a chaplain was meant to be. In combat he was now unstoppable, viciously mutilating and butchering his enemies. While outside of combat, he would distance himself from his brothers except for the survivors of Thanatos. After the event on Thanatos, these marines were never far from the Chaplain's side. Questions were raised about the Thanatos Incident as the behavior of the survivors became increasingly more noticeable. Officially, the defeat of the Chaotic forces was ensured with guerilla warfare tactics and the death of the warband leader at the hands of Tyrannus, but rumors of a far more sinister event were really the cause of victory. The concerns about Tyrannus and his men soon reached the ears of Lord Magyar, the Chapter Master of the Mortifactors. When finally these concerns became more pressing, it was decided that action must be taken. It would have ended with the execution of Tyrannus if it hadn`t been for the intervention of Librarian (insert name). He spoke of a recent vision of a monstrous lizard skull with its teeth wrapped around a human skull, with the word Tyrannus repeated constantly. The true meaning behind the vision was unknown but this was enough for Magyar to stay the execution of Tyrannus. Tyrannus underwent countless examinations, but every test came back with the same conclusions: Tyrannus was still pure. Clueless on what action to take, Magyar weighted his options: Tyrannus couldn’t stay with the Mortifactors due to the possibility of corruption, but Magyar couldn’t just kill his old comrade-in-arms. The vision of the Librarian still weighed heavily on Magyar's mind.

 

However, fate intervened; for another Chaotic incursion happened in the (Insert Name)Sector. This caused the decision that a permanent garrison in the sector was required and the Mortifactors volunteered to be the guardians. This led Magyar to his final decision on the fate of Tyrannus. He gave the Chaplain two choices: go into exile on Posul for the rest of his life or oversee the creation of a new Chapter to guard the (insert name) Sector. Tyrannus decided to take the honor of overseeing a new Chapter. Tyrannus took his survivor-brothers and the Librarian who saved his life, back to Thanatos. This time when Chaplain Tyrannus set foot on Thanatos, he didn’t feel a sense of impending doom but instead he finally felt at home.

 

Sector: “This is our home; this is the place of our reborn. As long as I still breathe, this world will not fall” Chaplain Tyrannus

The (name pending) Sector containing the Carnivores' Homeworld is located in the Ultima Segmentum. The sector contains seven planets total - the Forge World, three Civilized worlds, an agri-world, one Penal World and Thanatos.

 

Thanatos (Homeworld): “Where else in the universe do you see deino-sauria eat primitive humans?”

The homeworld of the Carnivore is a nightmarish place of death and carnage. The limit landmass has an endless surface of dense jungle, steamy swamps and bottomless chasms. The rest of the planet is covered with 75% of ocean, which is far more dangerous then the murderous jungles. The homeworld denizens included numerous predatory reptilian species and other life forms that mimic those of legend who dwelled on ancient Terra. Surprisingly, the planet is home to several small tribes of humans who live in a primitive state. Most of the tribes are scattered thought the world but many live near the coastal area or inside the ancient ruins in the jungle. With the return and settlement of the Carnivore, little change has occurred on the planet.

 

Combat Doctrine:

Even though the Chapter has a large amount of vehicles and transport, the Carnivores prefer shock-and-awe tactics to kill their prey. The use of reconnaissance units is vital to this tactic due to the need of the element of surprise. When the reconnaissance units perform their duty, the hunt begins. The main assault force then performs lighting assaults on the enemy forces simultaneously. If resistance proves too heavy, the Chapter forces quickly regroup to prevent losses and strike at another angle, causing more carnage and confusion in the ranks of the enemy. Similar to a pack of deino-sauria toying with their prey, this process is repeated again and again until a major weakness in the enemy forces is discovered. If a weakness if revealed, the Chapter`s Terminator veterans are deployed to perform the killing blow. This style of warfare fits the predatory nature of the Chapter perfectly. Due to this predatory style of warfare, all of the Carnivore's units regardless of their position carry a wide variety of close combat weaponry. The addition of these weapons always allows them to engage in vicious and bloody melee combat.

 

Organization:

The Carnivore chapter follows the Codex except for a few deviations cause by the influence of Tyrannus and the nature of the natives. There are no Scout or Veteran Companies instead each Company has an attachment of these specialist units. This change in Company organisation allows the chapter to perform its famous tactics. Unlike other chapters, the Carnivores have no reserve Companies; instead each Company is tasked with operating independently. This leads to many of the Companies being under strength but the Carnivore refuse to change. They believe it is their destiny to be always ready to destroy the enemies of the Emperor. The destruction of the Carnivores is prevented by the fact that two Companies are always present on Thanatos. When a Company return to protect the planet, this gives them the chance to restore their losses. The Chapter also differ from the Codex because they use of color and insignia to distinguish rank. The Chapter's Veterans, Sergeants and Officers are given a helmet colored brazen to present their leadership rank. Instead of changing their shoulder pad color to show their Company, they use claw marks on knee pad or on the right shoulder pad. - Scout units have no claw marks to denote their Company. Other symbols and insignia approved in the Codex are also missing within the chapter; these symbols are replaced with markings depicting the savage fauna of their homeworld.

 

Recruitment: “Surviving the nightmarish chasms, was like fighting daemons in the Warp.”

The new recruits of the Chapter come from the death world Thanatos only. Surviving the dangers of Thanatos makes the natives perfect recruits for becoming Space Marines. The Carnivores train their scouts in a similar manner to other chapters but for one exceptional trial known as “The Descent Into the Abyss”. The final mission as a scout is to survive the deep abyss that covers part of their Homeworld. This task may seem simple until one looks at the condition of the mission. The squad is required to complete two major objectives while facing the predators that stalk the abyss. The first objective is to recover a Chapter relic that Veterans have already hidden within the pits. Upon finding this relic they must hold the position while waiting for evac. The chapter will retrieve the survivors after a random length of time, ranging from a few days to a few months. During this time, the Scouts have to survive the constant assaults of the dangerous predators that reside in the abyss. After every day within the hellish abyss, ammunition crates are dropped into the chasms to resupply the scouts. Unbeknownst to the scouts, their new found gear is cover with hormones that attracts even more predators from miles around to the pits, worsening their situlation. The other task of a scout is to earn a worthy kill within these pits. If a Scout is unable to recover a bone of a slain creature, then the mission must be retaken until he is successful or death takes him first. Upon their return to the Fortress-Monastery, the recovered bone is used to create their new Chapter symbol. This gives the new battle-brother a constant reminder of their homeworld as they purge the universe of their foes.

 

Beliefs: “Why are you here. Perhaps you’re here to win honor for your chapter. If that the case, you are playing a fools game. I am here to save the innocence, to slay those how threaten their survival, to save those who can`t save themselves. Your honor is meaningless compare to this.”

 

The Beliefs of the Carnivores started out very much akin to their parent Chapter, but Chaplain Tyrannus' own doctrine caused their beliefs system to change. Due to the influence of Thanatos, the Carnivore see the planet as a perfect paradise and venerate the home planet more then most other Chapters. Two full Companies are always present, keeping their watchful gaze on the planet while their brothers prey upon the xenos, the tainted and traitors. The new recruit sees the Emperor in a different light. They worship the predatory trait of Emperor and see him as the Ultimate Predator. The "hunt or be hunted" attitude on Thanatos resulted in a change of the mind set of the Chapter. The lifestyle has cause many in the Chapter to believe that if mankind are to become the ultimate predators, they must learn to adapt from their foes and use this knowledge against them. This on more then one occasions has led to tension between the Carnivore and their parent Chapter. Even the native creatures and their lifestyle plays a critical role in the chapter - the prefered tactics and fighting style of the Chapter are influenced by watching many of the predatory animals fight for food and survival. The Chapter view on honors has created tension between the Carnivore and the more proud factions in the Imperium. They see honor as a backward belief that impairs the overall survival of mankind. This belief comes from the constant observation of Thanatos`predators that places the priority on surviving the dangers of life. To a Carnivore, basic survival is more important than false honor.

 

Geneseed Mutation: “Many believes that our gifts are mutations in our geneseed. They wish too cure us of our difference. It saddens me greatly, to see our fellow mankind try to destroy the evolution, of its protectors.”

For unknown reasons, the members of the Carnivores Chapter geneseed reacts with the planet of Thanatos itself, resulting in extreme mutations. Many suggest that it’s the failure of the Omophagea Gland to absorb the genetic material of Thanatos`wild life. This theory is the most widely accepted but other more radical thinkers believe something more sinister is the cause. The Carnivores grow large carnivorous teeth similar to many of the predator of Thanatos. The Betcher's Gland inside a Carnivore suffer from over-development, which allows the use of an toxic spray, that blinds and eats away tissue from the foe; the Carnivores use this odd mutation as an unexpected weapon against enemies. The most extreme mutations is a state of increase hunger that induces a feeding frenzy within the Chapter. Even though the individual suffers a state of extreme hunger and need for carnage, this state only last for a short time. This degeneration of the geneseed has made many in the Imperium questions the stability of the Chapter. These mutations have cause varies problems between the Chapter and their allies. Even other Space Marine Chapters view them with superstition and caution at the very least, but the Carnivores themself views there mutation as gifts from there home world.

 

Sorry had to clean the grammar up a little bit - I'll be back later to critique it. <_<

[Hemal]

The mutation is just TOO extreme for a single generation of marines. In fact it would probably not be explained by anything other than cursed founding tampering.

 

I alos don't like the chapter intro. I d not think you suspend disbelief, you need to brush up on teh believability of your story. Turn 65 days to maybe 5 years and that may suffice...

 

1) There is Forgeworld in teh sector, unless its a particulalry important sector I doubt any region of Imperial space needs Titan Legions, Skitarii AND a Astartes unit (nor could they probably support them...)

 

2) Chaos uprising stend to happen on densely populated planets and tend to be catalysed by some form of demonic incursion or Space Hulk/Chaos fleet appearing. And the Imperium would probably sanction Exterminatus on a Death World if it does not have any intrinsic value....

 

3) A Librarian having a vision isn't enough to stop an execution in my view. Astartes cannot afford to be anything other than zero-tolerance

 

4) Chaplains are pretty zealous warriors at best, and I doubt they would be given a command task for a new chapter

 

5) CHapter creation is a solemn and serious event, especially given the vast resources required (armour, geneseed, weapons, ships, fortress, training of novitiates) - Even the 1st, 2nd and 3rd wars for Armageddon didn't warrant a chapter created on Armageddon. I would argue that a chapter is created solely in response to a perceived threat requiring Astartes (not Guard or Navy assets) or in response to the IMperial tarot. Its far cheaper to send 1MM Iggies and their tanks to meet a foe than a single chapter of SPace Marines...

[Uprising]

Ok add more detail to "Why the chapter was formed", Homeworld, Beliefs and Recruitment. I hopeful finally made the chapter creation more believeable.(I doubt it)

 

PorridgeMeister: Thank you so much for your help, grammer is something i have trouble with.

Hemal:

Many chapters suffer from mutations that are not from the 21st founding, i believe their mutations are not that extreme. At least their not on fire or have spikes coming from their arms and head.

1. I have decide to drop the forge world, it has cause to much grief for me and does little for the overall IA. Good bye.

2. Fix it so it more possible

3. I have seen stranger and the mortifactors are extremely superstitious, so it could happen.

4. Many chapters have Chaplian as both spirtual and combat leaders. Why can`t mine?

5. Due to the facts that chaos still is around the area and guardsmen are to easily corrupted, a Chapter station their is the best solution to the problem.

 

Comments are always welcome and thanks for reading.

[CantonWC]

Hello

 

I have not been following this topic too closely, so I will just comment on what I can see so far.

 

Cyrus looks down in disgust as he see his chaotic brothers being tear limb from limb by the savages of the Carnivores. Cyrus starts to remember the numerous sent backs on this Death World of there arch enemy, The Carnivores. Returning his focus to the battle field infront of him, He Barks out orders for his havoc to release death from their four autocannons. Suddenly there was a noise from the thick vegetation on his right flank. Cyrus was only able to scream “Clever Loyalist” as he was tore apart by a Carnivore. As he laid on the jungle floor all he saw was his squad being tear apart by there chainswords. The last thing Cyrus heard before he died, was the voice of the Carnivore that cut him done say “Welcome to the Jungle, Traitor!”

 

Ugh. Jurassic park and Guns 'n' Roses? Outside references to popular culture ruins suspension of disbelief, so cut.

 

What happened on Thanatos during these 65 days is a complete mystery to all but the survivors. By the time they returned to the 3rd Company's ship, they had been forever changed. Tyrannus had become a savage and murderous warrior, not the epitome of honor and courage that a chaplain was meant to be. In combat he was now unstoppable, viciously mutilating and butchering his enemies. While outside of combat, he would distance himself from his brothers except for the survivors of Thanatos. After the event on Thanatos, these marines were never far from the Chaplain's side. Questions were raised about the Thanatos Incident as the behavior of the survivors became increasingly more noticeable. Officially, the defeat of the Chaotic forces was ensured with guerilla warfare tactics and the death of the warband leader at the hands of Tyrannus, but rumors of a far more sinister event were really the cause of victory. The concerns about Tyrannus and his men soon reached the ears of Lord Magyar, the Chapter Master of the Mortifactors. When finally these concerns became more pressing, it was decided that action must be taken. It would have ended with the execution of Tyrannus if it hadn`t been for the intervention of Librarian (insert name). He spoke of a recent vision of a monstrous lizard skull with its teeth wrapped around a human skull, with the word Tyrannus repeated constantly. The true meaning behind the vision was unknown but this was enough for Magyar to stay the execution of Tyrannus. Tyrannus underwent countless examinations, but every test came back with the same conclusions: Tyrannus was still pure. Clueless on what action to take, Magyar weighted his options: Tyrannus couldn’t stay with the Mortifactors due to the possibility of corruption, but Magyar couldn’t just kill his old comrade-in-arms. The vision of the Librarian still weighed heavily on Magyar's mind.

 

However, fate intervened; for another Chaotic incursion happened in the (Insert Name)Sector. This caused the decision that a permanent garrison in the sector was required and the Mortifactors volunteered to be the guardians. This led Magyar to his final decision on the fate of Tyrannus. He gave the Chaplain two choices: go into exile on Posul for the rest of his life or oversee the creation of a new Chapter to guard the (insert name) Sector. Tyrannus decided to take the honor of overseeing a new Chapter. Tyrannus took his survivor-brothers and the Librarian who saved his life, back to Thanatos. This time when Chaplain Tyrannus set foot on Thanatos, he didn’t feel a sense of impending doom but instead he finally felt at home.

 

I don't find any of this believable. If you want to keep the mystery you should drop some hints as to what actually happened, otherwise the reader is left hanging. If it were up to me, Tyrannus would have been quarantined or put out of his misery. I don't care what some Librarian says or what the results of countless examinations are, I would just go with my gut instincts. Clearly something happened to him and not for the better.

[Uprising]

Hello everyone, sorry for my lack of work on my IA, lately i am suffering from writers block. I came up with a new and improve version of my chapters begin. I just hope its more believeable then my orignal idea.

 

"The war was like any other; full of death, lost, carnage, and destruction on both sides. But the experience of that one world, that one world will forever change me. For memories of that place, of that place of death will forever haunt me.” Chaplain Tyrannus

 

The coming of the Carnivores was unlike many other chapter`s creation, for they where created from the tragic event on Thanatos. Originally the chapter was know as the Crypt Keepers, a fleet base chapter of the 13th founding. Identical to their parent chapter the Mortifactors, they serve in countless battle and purge many worlds in the Emperor`s name. Their evolution into the Carnivore came in their darkest hour, when the whole chapter became maroon on Thanatos.

 

when the (Name pending) Sector experienced a massive Chaotic insurrection, the local PDF were quickly overrun by chaos cultists led by a chaos warband of unknown origin. When the Crypt Keepers entered the sector, only two worlds were still under the command of the Imperium. The Chapter under the command of the Chapter Master became the sector salvation. The finale battle was in orbit over the Death World: Thanatos. Lock in a fight to the death both sides took massive amount of causatives. At the climax, the Necropolis: the Crypt Keeper flag ship was shoot down, crash landing on Thanatos. Before losing all power, the Necropolis was able to take down the chaos flag ship resulting in it having a similar fate as the Necropolis. The survivors of these crashes now clash on the surface of Thanatos.

 

The next three years was a countless struggle to survive the horrors of the Thanatos and to destroy the enemies forces. During a full moon, the final battle ended the conflict once and for all. The next morning a chaos lord head would become a new trinket on the trophy rack, of a newly risen chaplain. But the victory was a hollow one for the chapter Master was slain, along with the rest of the commanders. The survivors turn to the guidance of the chapter last great hero, the Chaplain. This Chaplain would later become known as Chaplain Tyrannus.

 

After that tragic night the remaining force of the Crypt Keepers continue surviving the dangers of Thanatos for the next eleven years. Salvation finally came from the Mortifactors, who has pick up their distress signal. When the Mortifactors first saw the remaining Crypt Keepers, they were shock by the transformation of their kin. Their bone white armor was replaced by jungle green and the golden trim has become brazen color. This was not the only change as many display grizzly trophies of their kill on their armor. The most drastic change was the mutation the chapter has obtain on their stay. Their leader Tyrannus, had become a savage and murderous warrior, not the epitome of honor and courage that a chaplain was meant to be. In combat he was now unstoppable, viciously mutilating and butchering his enemies. The remaining survivors mirror their leader in this behavior. The Mortifactors had a really massive problem on their hand.

 

The Mortifactors escort the marines and their remaining equipment back to Posul, the Mortifactors home world for judgement. Their each survivor undergo testing and then retold the story of the campaign in front of Lord Magyar and his council. Some were concern about the possible taint and corruption of chaos even though the test for corruption were negative. Others pity the fallen chapter and wish to aid their fellow brothers. The entire council enter meditation when a Librarian receive a vision. He spoke of a recent vision of a monstrous lizard skull with its teeth wrapped around a human skull, with the word Tyrannus repeated constantly. The true meaning behind the vision was unknown but this was enough for Magyar to make a choice on the chapter fate.

 

Magyar knew if the choice was given to the Inquisition, the survivors would face certain death. He wish to avoid this all together and save his fellow brothers. He took the Chaplain to his personal chamber, so the two could talk in private. The survivor soon left after the conversation was complete. The chapter known as the Crypt Keepers was no more and now replace with a new chapter. This newly form chapter returns to Thanatos to start with a fresh slate. They find the wreckage of the Necropolis and with the aid of the Mortifactors Tech Marines and servitor, it became their new fortress. The assist of the Tech Marines wasn`t the only aid the mortifactors sent. They help replace some of the equipment lost during the war and help the chapter to become battle ready. Once all of the work was finish, most of the Mortifactors left never to see their successor chapter again. A small amount stay to aid the chapter even more, including the Librarian, who vision sent this all in motivation. The chapter renamed themselves The Carnivores, setting out to begin a new bloody history.

 

Which do you like better?

[Uprising]

Don`t know why it repeated the post. sorry about that :woot:

[NightrawenII]

Well, setting aside the cliché of this draft...

 

The survivors turn to the guidance of the chapter last great hero, the Chaplain. This Chaplain would later become known as Chaplain Tyrannus.

- How he was known before the incident? Chaplain I'm-not-yet-Tyrannus?

 

The next three years was a countless struggle to survive the horrors of the Thanatos and to destroy the enemies forces.

- What about the rest of fleet(s)?

 

The Mortifactors had a really massive problem on their hand.

- They will shoot them. No pity, no remorse.

 

The Mortifactors escort the marines and their remaining equipment back to Posul, the Mortifactors home world for judgement.

- The Mortifactors don't have the right to judge them, Inquisition does...

 

Magyar knew if the choice was given to the Inquisition, *snip* The chapter renamed themselves The Carnivores, setting out to begin a new bloody history.

I think he is too generous for Space Marine, and citizen of Imperium. If he has given them a single ship and left them to their own device, it will be IMHO more believable.

 

Cheers, NightrawenII.

[Arkangilos]

Space Marines can pass judgement, albiet it is not "official." Often times Space Marine chapters will not acknowledge the fact that their brother chapters are "outcast and excommunicated" when the Inquisition does. Some chapters will only acknowledge it when THEY pass the judgement. Though that is not to say that everyone else doesn't.

[Bjorn Firewalker]

The new origin story- with details on the how and why the Carnivores ended up on Thanatos- are a great improvement. As for the Librarian's vision, I think the vision needs clarification, i.e., why would the Mortifactors Librarian interpret the vision as "Tyrannus must survive to save the Imperium" instead of "Tyrannus must be destroyed to save the Imperium," considering the sinister image of a Tyrannosaur skull chewing on a human one. Maybe change the vision to a Tyrannosaur skull chewing on a DAEMON one, while Tyrannus' voice screams "Death to all who dare threaten the Emperor's realm!" to the dreaming Librarian?