Been inspired by AD-B

[Dark_Crozius]

Hi all. As you may of gotten from the title, i've recentley been reading some AD-B novels and have decided to have a go at writing some shot stories for myself.

 

Quick note before i even start: I have dyslexia so my english, grammer and spelling will not be 100% in this, what is sure to be a somewhat rambling thread. I do aplogise in advance. However i do feel it important to mention this before hand as i've posted story ideas on other forums before and the only feedback people put is along gthe lines of 'learn to spell or we'll never read your sorry S@*!' (yes that is a direct quote unfortuanly) I understand the need to have very firm grasp of english when presenting a finished story (god bless microsoft word) but seeing as this is only an idea brainstorm such comments are not as helpfull as others.

 

Right then, onto the main idea. Sons of Horus in the 40k setting.

 

The fluff behind the squad being that they are the survivors of the 'exorcist' order within the Sons of Horus legion. They where created by Horus in response to the fate of Fulgrim after which the warmaster vowed to discover the 'power to unmake a daemon'. They travled amongst thier brothers seeking those who's sanity had failed them and had allowed thier daemonic 'allies' to become their master. Those they found where destoryed secretly, their daemonic over lords banished.

 

After the legions fled into the eye of terror and Abaddon re-forged the Sons of Horus into the Black legion, the exorcist order fled as they feared the coruption was too much for them to handle. They where hunted down by Abaddons followers, the new warmaster enraged by thier refusal to denounce the name Horus and desecrate thier armour black in shame. Now only 5 survive.

 

The story itself will center around these five attempting to recruit a new member into the order. A child taken from a temple of the Emperor given the last reamaing gene-seed the order has. Much of the orders background and fluff will be told to him during his training and thus told to the reader as they follow it.

 

Ok thats the main idea, but i've also been franticaly writing other ideas down as well.

 

Firstly, all order members have a daemon weapon. Idea being that alothough they hate chaos and those who serve it, they are not above using it as a weapon. I'm trying this to make them not simply 'renegade Grey Knights'. It also says alot about thier veiw point. They believe like Horus did that the desins of the warp are 'allies' at best but should never be worshiped as masters. So in the relationship with them and the daemons in thier weaons- they are always the masters.

 

Also this alowed me to have abit more fun designing them as i get to design 6 unique deamon weapons ranging from the 4th members daemonic 'pistol glave' (imagine a Final fantasy 8 'gunblade' but more evil) to the 2nd members pair of glavies, each possesed by a blue horror who hates the other.

 

So- am i onto a good idea or should i re-think this abit?

[BackSplash]

I think it would be an interesting read. As for people getting on you about writing, screw them. If it were easy everyone would do it and they are probably too scared or not capable enough to write themselves so they make fun of you. Do not let it discourage you. One last thing, you might want to look at the Replicators chapter. They were a loyal Space marine chapter that got marked renegade after using Chaos weapons to fight Chaos. They did some other things too, but you might want to check it out before you start writing. I seen it in 40k Lexicanum. Best wishes in your writing.

[Papewaio]

Now that's cool. The view on daemons isn't exactly unique in 40k, but that doesn't mean it won't work. You need to show the difference between them and, say, the Night Lords and how they see the daemonic.

 

The recruiting aspect of it is completely different side to what you normally see with Chaos Marines, especially as it's their last gene-seed. Tense, especially if the new Astartes tries to rebel.

 

I like a lot!

[Dark_Crozius]

Cool thanks for the comments.

 

@ Backsplash- I think you mean the Relictors chapter. Yeah the're pretty amazing (considered them for an army at one point) although the Relicors and the Sons of Horus in my story have one major diffrence- the Sons of Horus actualy make their daemon weapons rather than using the enemies against them.

 

One or two chapters of the book will revolve around Syx (the new recruit and the sixth member of the order) being put threw the ritual in order to make his weapon. Not thought it threw completley but the ritual basicaly boils down to the sword (thinking he'll use a rapier like blade for his weapon of choice) becomes embued with psychic energy from the other five till it attracts the presence of lesser daemons. The recuit then enters a trance like state and his 'body of light' (thousand sons reffrence) enters the weapon. Once a daemon enters the blade after him to devour his soul, it becomes a battle of wills. Either Syx will defeat the daemon (usualy requiring finding out it's true name) and be able to leave the blade and return to his bod, or the daemon will devour him and the five other warriors will cut him down.

 

Thats how that works anyway- i have a nice twist to it that things won't go 100% for Syx during the ritual...

 

@papewaio- I'm still playing around with the ideas on how they will differ from the Night lords, i think alot will boil down to they are alot more informed about the Daemonic. Not sure how it'll play out yet.

 

And yeah, Syx may well rebel abit- as i said before, things become alittle more complicated after his ritual.

[Yaj]

I like the idea of the two horrors who hate each other being bound to the glaives wielded by the 2nd member of the six. I can see that guy being particularly good fun to write fight scenes for. Will they have allies amongst the other traitor legions? or perhaps amongst non-astartes still loyal to the dead warmaster? Or is it posible that they don't have allies as they don't know who to trust?

 

I look forward to reading what you come up with. Not sure on the name 'Syx' though but thats probably just me.

[Dark_Crozius]

Cheers Yaj. I see him as being the planner of the team, although he always seems to come up with two plans for everything.

 

As far as allies go, they don't have them as such but are very good at manipulating a situation.

[The Mystic]

Seems like a good idea.

 

Dont use the name Syx. I know were your going with this and I think I have an idea of the twist for him.

 

A run in with Castellan Crowe could be fun as he uses a Daemon weapon aswell. Kinda mirror image effect goin on.

[Pavement Artist]

Hi all. As you may of gotten from the title, i've recentley been reading some AD-B novels and have decided to have a go at writing some shot stories for myself.

 

Quick note before i even start: I have dyslexia so my english, grammer and spelling will not be 100% in this, what is sure to be a somewhat rambling thread. I do aplogise in advance.

 

To be honest mate, i wouldn't let yourself get hung up on correct spelling or grammatical usage to the extent that it hampers you from telling a story. I'd be more than happy to proof read anything you come up with so don't worry about spelling errors, just try and get the thing down in words.

 

I think the premise will work best if you focus on the fundamental irony of your guys using daemon weapons and being damned by the Imperium. Whereas the premier daemonic fighting force in the galaxy is allowed free reign to wield the same powers.

 

That'd be how i'd do a Relictors novel. Have the main character point at Draigo and be all "WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?"

[Dark_Crozius]

I must admit guys that the thought of putting them against (or with) the Grey Knights does apeal alot, but for the time being i think thier main foe is going to be the Black Legion.

 

As much as they do have alot in common with the Grey knights in that they are an elite order who specailise in fighting the daemonic, i think the main focous of the book will be the diffrence between them and the Black Legion. They remained loyal to the spirt of Horus and his vision, where as Abaddon threw a bucket of black paint over it. They fight for the good of mankind ,although thier vision of it where a powerfull warmaster leads legions against all who threaten the united empire- death to the false emperor. The Black Legion simply want to kill.

 

I think the idea of a group of traitor marines who still see themselves as good guys and want to do good is apealing. Talos in the night lord books often states that he wanted to be a hero- yet does nothing to achieve that aim, the Sons of Horus do.

 

Please note: that may seem abit harsh to the Talos character- but thats the black and white way the Sons of Horus would see it. I as a reader realise it's alot more complicated then that.

 

Once the characters have been establised- then we work on book 2- against grey knights!!

[Pavement Artist]

I must admit guys that the thought of putting them against (or with) the Grey Knights does apeal alot, but for the time being i think thier main foe is going to be the Black Legion.

 

As much as they do have alot in common with the Grey knights in that they are an elite order who specailise in fighting the daemonic, i think the main focous of the book will be the diffrence between them and the Black Legion. They remained loyal to the spirt of Horus and his vision, where as Abaddon threw a bucket of black paint over it. They fight for the good of mankind ,although thier vision of it where a powerfull warmaster leads legions against all who threaten the united empire- death to the false emperor. The Black Legion simply want to kill.

 

I think the idea of a group of traitor marines who still see themselves as good guys and want to do good is apealing. Talos in the night lord books often states that he wanted to be a hero- yet does nothing to achieve that aim, the Sons of Horus do.

 

Please note: that may seem abit harsh to the Talos character- but thats the black and white way the Sons of Horus would see it. I as a reader realise it's alot more complicated then that.

 

Once the characters have been establised- then we work on book 2- against grey knights!!

 

Well Talos is pragmatic enough to realise that his actions don't make a bit of difference. He's bound by ten centuries of history in that regard. Where as your guys have clearly broken from their old legion, Talos is still a Night Lord. He's got no reason to break away because in his mind, his legion is utterly right. The company they may find themselves in is sometimes distasteful but it's still far and away better than being part of a broken Interstellar empire that did nothing but demonise his legion.

 

Your guys came from a legion that were never wronged as such. We know from the HH series that there was plenty Sons of Horus legionaries who remained loyal. So to me it makes perfect sense that there'd be a small group that abhor the corruption of their legion.

 

Small question: How have they remained active for 10,000 years? I presume they havent been operating out of the warp so time will have progressed at a regular rate for them.

[Dark_Crozius]

Thats a good question, the kind of thing i came here to iron out before writing.

 

I'm guessing they probibly would of had to hide in the malestorm. They need supplies and sanctuary like everyone else, the imperium is a no no and i'm guessing Abaddon would make the eye of terror less then inviting. Plus in increased daemonic activity would be a plus for them, they need to train, do research and make new weapons, etc.

[Dark_Crozius]

Hey all. Thanks for all the feedback thus far.

 

Well, heres an update. I've been putting alot more thought into this story - working in a place where you wash dishes for hours on end will give you plenty of thinking time :), and i think i've got alot more of an idea where this is going.

 

Firstly, after a brainstorm on the way home from southport with my mate (on here as 'the mystic') about each squad member i have a much clearer vision on who these guys are and what they can do. Heres what we came up with thus far-:

 

please not all names are work in progress and may change

 

First member, and leader Mordaki: Is very much a chaplain like figure within the exorcist order. His job is to monitor the group for signs of coruption and spiritual weakness and act acordingly if any is found. He is armed with a daemonic mual which resembles a crozius in that it has a daemonic eagle perched on top of a carved skull head. The ability of this weapon is that the eagle itself is possesed and can leave the weapon when commanded so can act as a sort of cyber-raven/familair to Mordaki.

 

Second member Julianous: A slender (for a marine) man who seems to live at a slightly faster pace then normal. By this i mean everything he does he does at a faster speed. This is due to him being fed certain stims from the emperors children during the heresy. This leads to much confussion at times, especialy when he speaks to other members of the squad as he often speaks too fast for them to understand him and he often has to repeat himself with forced slowness. This often frustrates him!

 

Hes armed with a pair of glavies each possesed by a blue horror. When these where being made, they where possesed by a pink horror, but when Julianos defated it, it broke into two blue horrors. As a reslut the two blades have a deep hatred for each other as each blames the other for them being defeated. In battle these blades are as random as Tzeetch himself. Sometimes turning victims to ice, other time mutating them beyond recognition. Julianous strugles to control them at time, especialy when the're bickering. 'It's so hard to command daemons when you can't get a word in'

 

Thats the most fleshed out members done, the rest are simply plans for the weapons the others have.

 

3rd member has a galidus possesed by a blood letter. Even the slightest cut from this blade causes blood to rush out to the victim to be devoured by the daemon within. The contrasting thing being the marine using it is a calm, tacturn warrior who casualy stroles threw any fight slashing with procision, not out of furry. He's the true testment to the fact that the Sons of Horus are always in control of thier weapons, not the other way round.

 

4th has the previously mentioned 'gunblade' type weapon. This is not a true daemon weapon, as untill it is fired it has no possesing daemon within it. Instead it acts as a condicuit to the warp and inprisions a daemons soul when activated and quickly fires the soul into the target victim where in it quickly tears the target to shreads whilst escaping into the warp once more.

 

Any comments for this?

[Dark_Crozius]

Hey all. Been working slightly on the prolouge and thought i'd share what i have so far, i've put alot of work into this little bit so i'm hoping people will like it.

 

Please ignore the spelling and any grammer errors.

 

""There was no warning". That was the thought that repeating through the terrified mind of protector Malies as he tried to justify his lack of readliness to

 

himself. He stood there, pistol shaking wildly in his terrmbling hands as he sought in vain to do what little he could to protect the pitiful few who had

 

survived thus far. He was all that stood between the huddle of desperate mothers and crying children gathered around the ornate statue of the

 

god-emperor and he was detemermined to give his life for them. He felt cartain that he would, and did his best to hide the tears that streamed down his

 

face from them. They did'nt need to see thier protectors fear.

 

The worrying thing was, it was'nt just the feble excuses of the man responsible for the shrines protection trying to convince himself it was'nt his fault they

 

where all going to die. There had been no warning.

 

The day had started as any other. He had read threw the roster for the day, supervised the weapon checks and watched from the main control tower as

 

his men patroled the perimiter. A perimiter that took the black armoured warriors attacking them all of a minute to completley whipe out. They had came

 

out of no where, black armoured monsters who wielded weapons no mere human could ever hope to lift. Glowing eyes that seemed to burn with an inner

 

fire that echoed a life time of hatred for all that stood against them. They had sent no warning and made no demands, they simply killed, as if the act alone

 

satisfied some deep rooted need within the black voids they called souls. Malies had watched as one of thier number waded thew the mass of people

 

rushing towards the temple doors, using the butt of his emense weapon to knock one of the soilders aposing him to the ground with a sickening thud.

 

Malies had stuggled as the monster loomed over the fallen man, aiming point blank at the mans screaming face and pausing, as if drinking deep of the

 

mans fear, enjoying it more than the act of viloence itself. Then, as quickly as he had caused it, the warrior seemed to grow bored with this spectacle of

 

human misery and his weapon howled out causing the mans head exploded in a shower of gore as the fired bolt exploed within. There had been many

 

more scenes like this one throughout the last half hour, each eched in Malies memory and would be there for the rest of his life. The only cumfort Malies

 

could find in this was that it would'nt be much longer before the memories died with him.

 

The massive iron doors began to buckle as the black armoured daemons again attempted to gain entry to the inner sanctom. One more strike is all it

 

would take to strip the remaining few of thier last deffence. That is other then thier protector who they all looked to, yet Malies was quite unsure what they

 

expected him to do. He was armed only with his ornate pistol. A relic which, although it had been passed down threw the centeries had not actualy been

 

fired for as long as anyone could remember. Malies never expected to ever have to use it. He felt a tugging at his leg and looked down to see his son

 

Callium looking up at him, hope shining in his eyes. Even throughout this entire nightmare the boy felt confident they would all be fine. He was standing

 

behind his father, and in his eight year old mind, his father was a hero that could over come anything. Malies smiled meekly, wishing it was true.

 

Then the doors where thrown open, a single warrior steping threw. "

[Brother Nihm]

Moving this to the fan-fiction forum where it belongs.

[DarkSavage]

Good start, your ideas sound very interesting. Who cares about a few spelling errors, you're doing what you enjoy right? Keep up the good work!