IA: Shadow Raptors 2nd draft

[Corvane Valar]

Index Astartes: Shadow Raptors, Strike from the Shadows my brothers!

 

 

History

The Shadow Raptors, created in the 7th founding from the illustrious geneseed of the great shadow; Corax. Once the founding process was finished they were given no mission other than to go out into the hostie galaxy and do the Emperors justice as the saw fit.

 

The Chapter's tentative years were spent crusading in the dim wilderness near Bakka and Praetoria finding new planets and massacaring the xeno races which inhabitated them before letting the Imperiun colonise them with habbers from the overpopulated spires of Praetoria. During this time they had much contact with the Praetorian Imperial Guard regiments and through blood, sweat and hardship developed a respect for them unparalled by any other regiment known to of fought with them. Because of this the Shadow Raptors will always help a guard regiment in need and if said regiment be a Praetorian they will fight with righteous zeal in order to reach them. By the end of the crusade almost 30 systems had been clensed and colonised. After a breif respite and refit period Shadow Master Chidiock ordered that the Chapter would continue to ply the wilderness of space riding it of xeno menaces.

 

it was in M36 that things started to go awry for the Chapter, the age of Apostasy strained the chapter in much the same as it did all other Astartes but it what came after that really hurt the Chapter. Shortly after the reign of blood ended warp storms enveloped the region surrounding Bakka and the Cardinal Bucharis Rose to power on Gathalamor, that the Shadow Raptors strike cruiser Warspite was fired upon, it's is open to interpretation as to who fired upon it as accounts dating from this time are hard to come by, but most experts agree it was a force from the Cardinals empire who seeing the Astartes as a threat sought to remove them from the picture, this would also fit in with other accounts that suggest that the Shadow Raptors suffered many setbacks during this time. Little else is known about this time. Apart from the names of heroic Astartes like Alfredus the sharp and Ethelburt the wise and planets like Upsilon-23, it is also agreed by experts that it was around this time that the Shadow Raptors developed their penchant for ensnarement and armoured ambush.

 

After the Plague of Unbeleif the surviving Shadow Raptors stepped in to help with the cleanup operation sightings of them subltey increase, what those accounts tell is that during the plague the Shadow Raptors had lost amost a third of their original force including half the seniors officers. The Chapter guil-rdden over their failing in seeing Cardinal Bucharis insanity before it was to late decided it would regain its full strength and then on the anniversary of the destruction of th Warspite embark on a pentient crusade into the wilderness of space. The eyewitness accounts tell of new and exotic worlds unlike any others, of feirce battles with xeno races and of riches and technology to rival the imagination of a rogue trader.

 

During the closing stages of M36 the Shadow Raptors reamerge into Imperial space the report itself was filed by the senoir Lexi scribe of Eridani Kappa, the world had been invaded by an Xeno race called the Sar' Dios. In it he described how the PDF's last line was begining to crumble hundreds of drop pods descended and righteousy threw back the Sar' Dios's attack and then crushed them in a series of brilliant ambushes. It was also around this time that thhe Magos of Mars started recieving Shadow Raptor matching geneseed. After a 90 standard year crusade aginst the Sar' Dios Own fledgling empire the Chapter was given rights to Hibernia a feral world kept in order by its industrialised moon Albion.

 

Since then the Chapter has sent individual companys all over the Imperium but its main focus has been patrolling the Veiled Region and the minor warp anomolies that can be found around Segmentum Tempestus, it scored notable victorys during this time including the destuction of Waaaghh Stabbaguts on Lamdba secundus were the entire waaaghh was funneled into a 8 mile long valley before it was slaughtered by the Astartes. Its has also fought against wayward Tyranid splinter fleets were its tactic of armoured ambush was proven to be very useful. Currently the Chapter has Companys deployed all over the Imperium most on the periphery of conflicts assualting and defending planets others would deem insignificant.

 

 

Organisation/Combat Doctrine

They veiw the Codex Astartes as a guide rather than a holy tome to be used when neccesary and instead prefer to use their own knowledge and initiative. the chapter also does away with the with veteran company using it instead as another battle company, those within the chapter will say that this decision was made during the pentient crusade following the plague of unbelief in which the Shadow Master Archiballd stated in an address to the entire Chapter "each one of you has done enough to earn a place within the First"

The Shadow Raptors prefer the ambush and critical strike over anything else as such they repaint their armour according to enviroment. the favoured plan being bikes and land speeders agitating the enemy before pulling back with the enemy in tow towards the waiting guns of the main force. due to this tactic the Chapter has a larger number of sabre tank hunters and its variants.

 

Homeworld

Albion and Hibernia are located about 2 weeks warp travel away from Bakka, they are a stark contrast of each other while Albion turns slightly less arms than a forge world. Hibernia has no notable mineral resources and instead provides hardy men for the Chapter. The Chapter Monastry is maintained on Albion while various stations are also maintaind on Hibernia as recruitment centres.

 

Beliefs

The shadow Raptors see the Emperor as a great man but little more, they veiw Corax as the Great Shadow, a master of cunning ambush and stealth. they also understand why he made the difficult decisions he made in the aftermarth of the heresy. The Shadow Raptors themselves over the milennia have developed a very cynical mentality coupled with a morbid sense of humour, some would say this is because of the amount of time spent in the comapny of the praetorians, other because the fact that on Hibernia and Albion it rains almost every day. They are a very modest Chapter thinking that boasting and acts of bravado are foolish and vain, even things such as puriy seals are rare within the Chapter, however they are very dutiful and humanitairian force seeing it as their duty to protect those in need or those who cannot deend themselves.

 

Comments and Critiscisms Welcome

[Ace Debonair]

First off, Welcome to the Liber.

 

Don't take any criticism personally, and we'll help you build up a solid Chapter. :P

 

That said, on with the slaughter critiquing! :P

 

The Chapter's tentative years were spent crusading in the dim wilderness near Bakka and Praetoria finding new planets and massacaring the xeno races which inhabitated them before letting the Imperiun colonise them with habbers from the overpopulated spires of Praetoria.

 

What's a habber when it's at home?

 

 

it was in M36 that things started to go awry for the Chapter, certainly the chaos caused by the Age of Apostasty did not help for the next two thousands years the Chapter was lost to Imperial records. at the time they were a crusading Chapter and so the Magos of Mars did not become overtly concerned as the warp is fickle by nature and delays are commonplace, so they waited dilligently for Shadow Raptors gene tithe. The peroid is known by the present Chapter as the shrounding, theroies as to what happened vary: some insisting that the chapter was lost to the warp and was only saved by the Emperors divine grace, others suggest that the chapter was wiped out in a genocidal conflict with a bestial alien race and that the current chapter was founded later to honour their fallen.

 

Well, I'm not one to pick on spelling mistakes unless asked to. Gods know I make enough of them. But, I'd like to break my own rule for a moment and congratulate you on having my favourite misspelling of apostasy EVER. :P

 

The whole mystery thing seems, well, pointless.

What did you want it to accomplish?

 

Space Marine Chapters can also only be founded by the High Lords of Terra. As far as the DIY creator is concerned, there's no plausible way around this, so the records would state outright if a new Chapter was taking the place of the old one.

 

They veiw the Codex Astartes as a guide rather than a holy tome and have done away with the Veteran,Scout and Reserve Companys instead having 9 battle companys with the resources needed to fight independantly of each other. The Shadow Raptors prefer the ambush and critical strike over anything else as such they repaint their armour according to enviroment. the favoured plan being bikes and land speeders agitating the enemy before pulling back with the enemy in tow towards the waiting guns of the main force due to this tactic the Chapter has a larger number of sabre tank hunters and its variants.

 

OK. That's probably not a wise move on the part of your Chapter. The Reserve Companies are actually pretty vital - and I speak from experience here. My own previous attempts to phase them out didn't entirely go down well, you see.

 

They play the vital role of keeping your battle companies at full strength. If you're losing marines in the battle companies, you replace them from the reserves, who then have to wait for more scouts to graduate into full marines or whatnot.

 

With no Reserve companies to train & maintain the skills that Astartes normally learn there, your Chapter will take more losses on the field. Over time, your Chapter would almost certainly find itself in a perilous situation of losing recruits faster than it can recruit them.

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

It's not a bad start overall - certainly all my Chapters started out worse.

Stick at it, and you could have a cool Chapter on your hands. ;)

[Epistolary Exander]

This is a brief history of the chapter, but it doesnt reflect who the Shadow Raptors are as a chapter? Looking at it theres appears to be little substance to how the Shadow Raptors are different from any other chapter of Astartes. What are you trying to get accross with this current draft of the IA?

 

It is a hard to give advice on how you can specifcally improve the fluff of your chapter with such little meat on the IA's bones, I know there are a few parts of the IA missing but it is not clear what is your objective with this.

 

I do like how you are converying the history of the Shadow Ravens, please keep it up :P.

 

Exander.

[CKO]

Seems like a good start but the chapter lacks a unique quality that most diy chapters have, with that being said you just need to add more to it.

[NightrawenII]

First off, Welcome to the Liber.

 

Don't take any criticism personally, and we'll help you build up a solid Chapter. ^_^

 

That said, on with the slaughter critiquing! :P

:devil:

 

 

History

The Shadow Raptors, created in the 7th founding from the illustrious geneseed of the great shadow; Corax.

- The gene-seed of Corax is illustrious in many ways; being damaged beyond repair, making the creation of new marines slow and dangerous process is one of them.

 

Organisation/Combat Doctrine

They veiw the Codex Astartes as a guide rather than a holy tome and have done away with the Veteran,Scout and Reserve Companys instead having 9 battle companys with the resources needed to fight independantly of each other.

- What Ace said + the Reserves serve as reserves and reinforcements. In theory, the captain of Strike Force might be in charge of ~230 marines.

 

++++

An interesting Chapter has an interesting and *unique* theme. Give your marines motives, personality and creed.