IA Knights of... something

[Generating Random Name...]

So after another IA and a brief hiatus from the Liber (I bet you all missed me so much :lol: ) I'm back. Anyway here the start of the 'next big thing':

 

The Knights who might say Nee!

Origins

Lord Knight -----

As has been explained ----- was also referred to as The Knight, this is most likely referring to his similarity to the knights of ancient Terra, and their code, which he later based his own, The three-fold path, upon. He was known to be something of a philosopher, and he explained to his brothers in the training cadre his aim for the new chapter, "The Emperor created the Adeptus Astartes to be his greatest army, to protect and unite humanity, and bring them into the fold of the Imperium. And this is what we shall do, protect the weak, even if we must sacrifice ourselves for that cause, otherwise what are we? The private soldiers of the High Lords of Terra? To be ordered on a whim? I think not. So we must complete our task given to us by the Emperor himself, for a hundred generations, we will give ourselves for the people of the Imperium, and for the Emperor!".

In the late 33rd millennium it was deemed by the High Lords of Terra that there should be a new founding of the Adeptus Astartes, among the chapters chosen to sire successors were the -----, who chose the captain of the fourth company, ----- (Also known The Knight), to lead the training group. While captain ----- was seen as a paragon the chapter's skill and martial ability, he was reclusive and on the occasions he did speak with his brothers in other companies he was often curt, although this abruptness did not extend to the chapter master, with whom he was a great friend. This may have been why he was allowed more slack with his company and they were often crusading far from the chapter's main forces for long periods of time. It is possible that the Chapter master at the time thought that the captain was so independent as to be nearly another chapter anyway, or that his friend was the ideal Astartes for the job. Either way The Knight became the chapter master of the newly born "-----" and moulded them in his image, and that of the Codex Astartes.

 

After the chapter had completed its training it set course with its new fleet with the flagship "Sword of the Righteous" leading the way, they were heading to the galactic east, in the centre of the Segmentum Tempestus. From here they set about cleaving into the territories of the enemies of the Emperor, starting with the few systems near them they spiralled outwards rapidly, offering their help to Imperial forces where-ever it was needed. It was during this time that the ----- first started developing their skill at siege warfare, using the sections of the Codex Astartes written by Dorn and Pertuabo as a base and expanding upon them, both in attacking fortified enemies and starting the reinforcement before, as they always would, moving on.

 

One such battle was for the planet of -----, from whom the Knights had received a distress call when they translated into the system. Upon their arrival at the planet their scanners showed them what they had feared since hearing the distorted and crackling message; A Chaos fuelled uprising. ----- immediately ordered the drop pod insertion of the second company; a reckless move, but one he felt necessary to protect the lives of the innocent civilians, if any yet remained.

The Chaos forces on the planet were led by a small band of marines under the command of -----, they had made one of the ancient ----- buildings into their headquarters.

The battle was short, and one that would go down in the Chapter's Librarium as a great victory; the Knight's drop pods landed all over the capital city, and they surged through it like a ----- tide. The chapter was aided by the natives, who were inspired to great feats of heroism; if they were of suitable age, survivors were taken to become part of the Knights. Any that failed the genetic implantation were taken to become serfs for the chapter, or left on the planet to help their kinsmen, if there was any, rebuild.

 

 

Later History

The Vanishing

More than one hundred years after the death of the first Lord Knight, -----, the Knights were reclaiming worlds for Imperium, and humanity, but this was not to continue. The chapter had recently split into three to regain more worlds, these three groups, Draco, Ursa and Aquila; each had one battle and reserve company, and a compliment of the chapter's scouts.

 

The Aquila had moved to the galactic east and was reporting with regularity the conquest of worlds, until abruptly all contact was lost. It was nearly six solar months, before the chapter master ordered that Draco and Ursa to investigate. Upon their arrival at the Aquila's last known location, -----, they discovered that the planet had been blown apart and in its place was an asteroid field. A scan of the surrounding systems revealed that this was not an isolated event, it had happened in three other systems; the Knights set a course to the nearest of these to investigate further.

 

After their first finding they followed the trail of destroyed planets, until the ----- system where they found something which shocked them to their core; the ships of the Aquila bombarding a planet from orbit. When the Aquila detected the knight's fleet it translated into the warp leaving whatever it had been doing unfinished, and helpless to do anything else the Knights followed. What followed was a chase from system to system, until after months of running, the traitors stopped and stood their ground.

 

A fierce battle followed, with both sides teleporting troops onto the other's ships, and although the traitors were outnumbered they had been augmented by the powers of Chaos, and killed their ex-brothers in swathes. In a brash attempt to end the fight quickly the Knight Lord ----- led a small strike force onto the enemy command ship, the -----, to try and kill the traitor's leader. He managed to make it to the bridge, but at the cost of most of his force, and many wounds. The fight between the Knight Lord and ----- was over in minutes, but was one that the loyalists know virtually nothing about, save for the fact that their Lord was still on the enemy ship when it translated to the Warp.

 

Fin.

So that's the first bit of it started, still haven't thought of a name for any of the main stuff, but they will be Guilliman's sons.

[Ecritter]

An interesting start, looking forward to seeing how the Knights of Nee develop :lol:

[Generating Random Name...]

An interesting start, looking forward to seeing how the Knights of Nee develop ;)

:lol: That they, will possibly into the Knights of Eckie eckie boom boom ticky! ;)

 

Edit: Apparently (According to Google translate) "Nee" from English to Latin is "Nor" so they may be the "Nornian knights", or something similar :)

[Ecritter]

So ... the Knights that say Nor it is (you can thank me later)

[Olis]

Origins

In the late 33rd millennium it was deemed by the High Lords of Terra that there should be a new founding of the Adeptus Astartes, among the chapters chosen to sire successors were the -----, who chose the captain of the fourth company, ----- (Also known The Knight), to lead the training group.

 

From reading the bottom of the post, you wish these marines to be part of Guilliman's progeny. So - will they be direct descendents or indirect? Perhaps scions of the Novamarines or the Patriarchs of Ulixis? Or, if the Captain had such a moniker, the Marines Errant?

 

While captain ----- was seen as a paragon the chapter's skill and martial ability, he was reclusive and on the occasions he did speak with his brothers in other companies he was often curt, although this abruptness did not extend to the chapter master, with whom he was a great friend. This may have been why he was allowed more slack with his company and they were often crusading far from the chapter's main forces for long periods of time.

 

This sounds a heck of alot like the Marines Errant modus operandi. It'd fit well, I think.

 

It is possible that the Chapter master at the time thought that the captain was so independent as to be nearly another chapter anyway, or that his friend was the ideal Astartes for the job. Either way The Knight became the chapter master of the newly born "-----" and moulded them in his image, and that of the Codex Astartes.

 

I wouldn't emphasise the nepotism too much, brother. I doubt marines of Guilliman's legacy would need a better reason than meritous service, imo.

 

After the chapter had completed its training it set course with its new fleet with the flagship "Sword of the Righteous" leading the way, they were heading to the galactic east, in the centre of the Segmentum Tempestus. From here they set about cleaving into the territories of the enemies of the Emperor, starting with the few systems near them they spiralled outwards rapidly, offering their help to Imperial forces where-ever it was needed. It was during this time that the ----- first started developing their skill at siege warfare, using the sections of the Codex Astartes written by Dorn and Pertuabo as a base and expanding upon them, both in attacking fortified enemies and starting the reinforcement, before, as they always do, moving on.

 

Wasn't the Codex Astartes entirely penned by Guilliman? Have I missed something?

 

Anyhoo, I take it this chapter is a crusading chapter, yes? If not, the text certainly leans towards it. If so, it's not outright stated (yet). This isn't crucial or anything but some clarity would dispel any concerns over the nature of the chapter. Novels have hints, IA's have (mostly) 'facts'.

 

Will be in sidebar:

Chapter Master -----

As has been explained ----- was also referred to as The Knight, this is most likely referring to his similarity to the knights of ancient Terra, and their code, which he later based his own, The three-fold path, upon. He was known to be something of a philosopher, and he explained to his brothers in the training cadre his aim for the new chapter, "The Emperor created the Adeptus Astartes to his greatest army, to protect and unite humanity, and bring them into the fold of the Imperium. And this is what we shall do, protect the weak, even if we must sacrifice ourselves for that cause, otherwise what are we? The private soldiers of the High Lords of Terra? To be ordered on a whim? I think not. So we must complete our task given to us by the Emperor himself, for a hundred generations, we will give ourselves for the people of the Imperium, and for the Emperor!".

 

This sounds pretty cool, it sets something of a tone for the mentality of your chapter. It also provides a window into how your Chapter Master thought. Suitably isolationist for a crusading chapter.

 

Besides what I've pointed out everything seems fine to me. It's reasonably well written and the wall of text is not game-breakingly huge. It's a good start, kudos. Have you decided on a name yet? :tu:

[Ecritter]

From reading the bottom of the post, you wish these marines to be part of Guilliman's progeny. So - will they be direct descendents or indirect? Perhaps scions of the Novamarines or the Patriarchs of Ulixis? Or, if the Captain had such a moniker, the Marines Errant?

 

I suggest taking the road less travelled .... make a new chapter to sire them like I did.

 

Wasn't the Codex Astartes entirely penned by Guilliman? Have I missed something?

 

The Codex has been changed more then a baby's diaper I'm afraid. Not to mention the smell of it.

[Generating Random Name...]

Origins

In the late 33rd millennium it was deemed by the High Lords of Terra that there should be a new founding of the Adeptus Astartes, among the chapters chosen to sire successors were the -----, who chose the captain of the fourth company, ----- (Also known The Knight), to lead the training group.

 

From reading the bottom of the post, you wish these marines to be part of Guilliman's progeny. So - will they be direct descendents or indirect? Perhaps scions of the Novamarines or the Patriarchs of Ulixis? Or, if the Captain had such a moniker, the Marines Errant?

I was thinking Indirect, I'll have to research the chapters you mentioned.

 

It is possible that the Chapter master at the time thought that the captain was so independent as to be nearly another chapter anyway, or that his friend was the ideal Astartes for the job. Either way The Knight became the chapter master of the newly born "-----" and moulded them in his image, and that of the Codex Astartes.

 

I wouldn't emphasise the nepotism too much, brother. I doubt marines of Guilliman's legacy would need a better reason than meritous service, imo.

Hmm, I didn't even know what nepotism meant, but it is a bit isn't it? Maybe... We'll see how it ties in with the rest later.

 

After the chapter had completed its training it set course with its new fleet with the flagship "Sword of the Righteous" leading the way, they were heading to the galactic east, in the centre of the Segmentum Tempestus. From here they set about cleaving into the territories of the enemies of the Emperor, starting with the few systems near them they spiralled outwards rapidly, offering their help to Imperial forces where-ever it was needed. It was during this time that the ----- first started developing their skill at siege warfare, using the sections of the Codex Astartes written by Dorn and Pertuabo as a base and expanding upon them, both in attacking fortified enemies and starting the reinforcement, before, as they always do, moving on.

 

Wasn't the Codex Astartes entirely penned by Guilliman? Have I missed something?

Nope, the vast majority of it was back in the 30k, but there were pieces written by the other Primarchs, including traitor ones, and it has been added to ever since, over the years the best military minds (CREEEEEEED!!!) have included their thoughts etc, and there are various battle reports aswell. It's a bit like this site actually...

 

Anyhoo, I take it this chapter is a crusading chapter, yes? If not, the text certainly leans towards it. If so, it's not outright stated (yet). This isn't crucial or anything but some clarity would dispel any concerns over the nature of the chapter. Novels have hints, IA's have (mostly) 'facts'.

Yes, it is, but I think that would be better in the combat doctrine section, no? might interrupt the flow a bit here.

 

Will be in sidebar:

Chapter Master -----

As has been explained ----- was also referred to as The Knight, this is most likely referring to his similarity to the knights of ancient Terra, and their code, which he later based his own, The three-fold path, upon. He was known to be something of a philosopher, and he explained to his brothers in the training cadre his aim for the new chapter, "The Emperor created the Adeptus Astartes to his greatest army, to protect and unite humanity, and bring them into the fold of the Imperium. And this is what we shall do, protect the weak, even if we must sacrifice ourselves for that cause, otherwise what are we? The private soldiers of the High Lords of Terra? To be ordered on a whim? I think not. So we must complete our task given to us by the Emperor himself, for a hundred generations, we will give ourselves for the people of the Imperium, and for the Emperor!".

 

This sounds pretty cool, it sets something of a tone for the mentality of your chapter. It also provides a window into how your Chapter Master thought. Suitably isolationist for a crusading chapter.

 

Besides what I've pointed out everything seems fine to me. It's reasonably well written and the wall of text is not game-breakingly huge. It's a good start, kudos. Have you decided on a name yet? :tu:

:D Hah, not yet, but soon. I just got flashbacks to CJJ's Space Hippos (As I believe they were called?), thanks!

 

GRN

[Olis]

I was thinking Indirect, I'll have to research the chapters you mentioned.

 

Going 3rd gen would be a safe bet, I reckon.

 

but there were pieces written by the other Primarchs, including traitor ones,

 

Huh, well, I didn't know that. :tu:

 

Yes, it is, but I think that would be better in the combat doctrine section, no? might interrupt the flow a bit here.

 

Probably. It's up to you, it's your IA, brother. :D

[Generating Random Name...]

Formatting and added Origins added. And a little teaser of things to come. :lol:

 

EDIT: It can't be the Marines Errant, as they were founded after mine (37th, mine are 33rd millenium), Unsure about the Novamarines because of their strong codex views, not that I'm gonna be divergant, it's just not what I want. And I can't find any inof on the Patriarchs of Ulixis

[Generating Random Name...]

Later history part one done.

 

C&C welcome.

[Olis]

Later History

The Vanishing

More than one hundred generations after the death of the first Lord Knight, -----, the Knights were reclaiming worlds for Imperium, and humanity, but this was not to continue. The chapter had recently split into three to regain more worlds, these three groups, Draco, Ursa and Aquila; each had one battle and reserve company, and a compliment of the chapter's scouts.

 

The Aquila had moved to the galactic east and was reporting with regularity the conquest of worlds, until abruptly all contact was lost. It was nearly six solar months, before the chapter master ordered that Draco and Ursa to investigate. Upon their arrival at the Aquila's last known location, -----, they discovered that the planet had been blown apart and in its place was an asteroid field. A scan of the surrounding systems revealed that this was not an isolated event, it had happened in three other systems; the Knights set a course to the nearest of these to investigate further.

 

The Discovery

After their first finding they followed the trail of destroyed planets, until the ----- system where they found something which shocked them to their core; the ships of the Aquila bombarding a planet from orbit. When the Aquila detected the knight's fleet it translated into the warp leaving whatever it had been doing unfinished, and helpless to do anything else the Knights followed. What followed was a chase from system to system, until after months of running, the traitors stopped and stood their ground.

 

A Knight's Fall

A fierce battle followed, with both sides teleporting troops onto the other's ships, and although the traitors were outnumbered they had been augmented by the powers of Chaos, and killed their ex-brothers in swathes. In a brash attempt to end the fight quickly the Knight Lord ----- led a small strike force onto the enemy command ship, the -----, to try and kill the traitor's leader. He managed to make it to the bridge, but at the cost of most of his force, and many wounds. The fight between the Knight Lord and ----- was over in minutes, but was one that the loyalists know virtually nothing about, save for the fact that their Lord was still on the enemy ship when it translated to the Warp.

 

I'd prefer if these three (four) paragraphs were collated and moved under The Vanishing. It is a bit unweildy having three sub-headings when only one is neccessary. Plus having it under 'The Vanishing' gives the incident a suitable gravitas.

 

I'd also revise down the opening "One-hundred generations" as it seems like far too large a number.

 

Hope this helps.

[Generating Random Name...]

I'd prefer if these three (four) paragraphs were collated and moved under The Vanishing. It is a bit unweildy having three sub-headings when only one is neccessary. Plus having it under 'The Vanishing' gives the incident a suitable gravitas.

 

I'd also revise down the opening "One-hundred generations" as it seems like far too large a number.

 

Hope this helps.

Fair enough, I wasn't sure about the whole thing anyway, do you think it works?

 

And I dunno about the 100 generations thing, as these geneerations might be as little as a hundred years (Maybe even less), and at most 200 hundred, as the knights get their recruits from worlds they... Save, do it depends on how many worlds they conquer in a year

[Olis]

Fair enough, I wasn't sure about the whole thing anyway, do you think it works?

 

It works okay, it just needs tweaking.

 

And I dunno about the 100 generations thing, as these geneerations might be as little as a hundred years (Maybe even less), and at most 200 hundred, as the knights get their recruits from worlds they... Save, do it depends on how many worlds they conquer in a year

 

I'd probably replace '100 generations' with a suitable number of years. It removes alot of ambiguity for the reader. :P