IA: Death Angels

[Sobansa]

The chapter has no unifying vision and so would tear apart at the seams very quickly.

[Bad Monkey]

All the points by the others are valid, however there is some good points in here. So im gonna add a sprinklin' of positivity. for example this;

 

strive to reach a state of purity perfection above all other Astartes; they believe only a state of complete purity is acceptable for one is service to the Emperor

 

Would make for an interesting angle that should be expanded. How do they strive for perfection? Why do they do this? How dose this aim affect relations with other astrates and factions in the imperium?

 

This again is an interesting little bit;

 

In the history of the Death Angels, only ten battle-brother have ever fallen to Chaos; a squad from the Eleventh Company was lost in the warp around 344.M39; when they returned to real-space on the outskirts of the Urthuren system in 456.M39, the Chapter had been joyful at the return if their cost brethren, but suspicious of lost brothers' purity

-->Suspicions confirmed when ten veterans of the First teleported onto the strike cruiser with Chapter Master Balsimir; cruiser was touched by Chaos in every way

-->Daemons flooded the ship, and the Chapter Master and his retinue were forced to fight their way to the bridge

-->There, they found the ten lost brothers, all mutated and undoubtedly devoted to the powers of Chaos

-->All of the lost brothers were killed, but at the loss of one of the First Company veterans (Side-bar mini-story?)

 

What you have to bear in mind is that marines turning to chaos is quite rare, though it dose happen, it would also be a mark of great shame for the companyand the chapter as a whole. Perhaps develope this so that the company that they came from isn't seen as being as trustworthy as the others...maybe hint towards a schisim within the chapter?

 

Anyways, hope that was helpful.

 

PS, any chance you could change the centre justifiction? It makes the whole thing quite hard to read.

[Dominicus]

@Bad Monkey, good points, I updated those sections accordingly

@Sobansa, this version is focused mostly around speed and stealth, making it more unifying; removed Wolves, Hands, Fists

@ChaplainMathreyn, I think would be a little bit more organized now. :P

@Octavulg,

-Narrowed Chapter down to be based around speed and stealth, as well as the Codex Astartes

-Cut back Terminator number, removed dedicated CC-Company and extra 150 TDA suits

 

Have a look-see and provide some C&C! (Bad rhyme, I know, but oh well. My IA, my bad rhymes ;)

 

Also, Geneseed section up, tried to work it around the Chapter's quest for purity by having them work through a defect as an obstacle. Take a look, up on first post.

[Dominicus]

Alright, battle-cry section is up now.

 

With all the outlines up, I want to start to flesh out the IA now, so I need all the criticism I can get, so that this IA can be great.

 

Thanks.