Rafen_2 Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 Hello my fellow brothers! I've decided to create my first (and only) DIY Chapter named the Blood Eagles. Well here it goes. ORIGINS OF THE BLOOD EAGLES "How can we defend the future if we don't know about our own past?"- Chief Librarian Xavier Maxxam The Imperium has only recently discovered a vital system that they could inhabit and use. The system contained three planets: Abanderada the potential forge world, Ebenum a desert planet, and Drakonia which could be used for the mining of precious metal compounds. The only issue was that the previous two expeditions met with failure so the third time the Black Templars were called for to investigate and secure the system. So a crusade was called for led by Marshall Draconus, Castellan Rafen Talonspyre, and a librarian named Xavier Maxxam. When the crusade was launched and the system found there was no immediate threat to be found. Being careful Draconus didn't land on any of the planets waiting for any sign of an attack. After waiting several moments rifts were spotted were long slim ships came out and attacked the Black Templar fleet. Fighting back they destroyed this tiny nuisance and realized that the system was overrun with Dark Eldar. After scanning all three planets, the Dark Eldar activity was located on Drakonia. It was obvious that they were there for the metal compounds needed by the Imperium. They commenced orbital bombardment as the Thunderhawks prepared to drop the Templars down into the battlefield. Upon landing they found that most of the xeno base was underground and that the bombardments only destroyed the top defenses. Heavy support was called down as the Templars on planet were fighting against the surviving Eldar that came out of underground tunnels. When the heavy support arrived Draconus told Talonspyre to lead a force with Maxxam down one of the tunnels and to try to kill their leader as well as shut off the other tunnels. After a small force was made they charged into the depths of the Dark Eldar base fighting any who stood in their way, and were able to find the room were all the tunnels connected into the main one. Marking this down for later Talonspyre and Maxxam charged the force into the heart of the beast. There they found an Archon and his entourage. The fight was long and many on both sides died. Talonspyre engaged the Archon in close combat and was able to bring him down and finish him off. The remainder of his force had finished anyone else and they prepared themselves to leave. When they did bombs were prepared by each tunnel entrance to shut off the network to protect the new civilization that was to be on the surface. On the surface Draconus had finished off the remaining foes and the crusade was won and the mystery of the system was dealt with. Abanderada and Draconia were prepared for citizens of the Imperium to come and work/inhabit. As the Templars prepared to leave a representative from the Imperium came and told them that a new Chapter would be created to honor the 22nd Founding as well as to create a permanent defense in this system and a force that could be called on to act. He then asked them if any of them would like to help lead or train the new Chapter since Black Templar gene-seed was going to be used. After thinking it over Draconus offered Talonspyre and Maxxam as leaders for the new Chapter. They both agreed and stayed to help recruit and train. The rest of the Black Templars returned back to their main crusade fleet. When full colonization was completed Ebenum was used as a Chapter Stronghold while Drakonia was used as a recruiting world. They were named the Blood Eagles after a noble bird that lived on Ebenum. Homeworlds: Ebenum "Someone once said that home is where the heart is. This goes for Space Marines as well, because without this great Fortress Monastery we would be without heart."- Xavier Maxxam This planet is known for being the Chapter Stronghold of the Blood Eagles where the mighty Fortress Monastery of Tolemac was located in the highest mountain chain on the planet. Inside this fortress are three main areas. One is the library where books on past battles can be found as well as a hall for any famed armor or weapons of previous Blood Eagles. Also there is the main church were Chaplains preach the Emperor's work and inspires new recruits to become great. Underneath this church is the sacred chamber where recruits get their implants in order to become full battle brothers. Finally there is the Central Hall where Talonspyre stays to give orders to his Chapter, accept Imperial visitors, and hold Councils of War. Outside of the fortress is all desert where the Blood Eagles train. Certain sections are separated from the main desert in order to protect the Marines training from the dangerous Desert Dragons that are known for their wild rage that makes them more likely to attack any living thing. Each sectioned training area has a special feature that makes training there more important such as cliffs for climbing or areas prone to sand storms to test a Marines endurance. Besides the Desert Dragons the only other living creatures are the Blood Eagles. These birds have the resemblance of Bald Eagles with strange red stains underneath their eyes as if they were crying blood. These tend to flock by Tolemac and make their nests inside the main cave inside the mountain. Some Sergeants and Veterans keep these as pets for when they aren't in battle or training. Homeworlds: Drakonia Split into six different duchies, Drakonia serves as the Blood Eagles only recruiting world. Each duchy supplies normal marines but each duchy is known for a particular type that doesn't come from any other duchy. http://89.108.116.112/photos/0000037/091t.jpg Malta is the main duchy of Drakonia where the Council, which consists of the leader of each duchy, meets to pass laws as well as reporting status on product and income. Malta is a big imperial city where everything you could ever need can be found. The recruits that come from here usually become great leaders from their experience of living by the Council which gives them insight on how to lead men. http://89.108.116.112/photos/0000037/088t.jpg Longford is home of the Drakonian space port where Imperial ships come through whether bringing new citizens, workers, or merchants trying to buy some goods. The people who live here tend to become either Tech Marines or vehicle drivers due to their technological skill gained from working at the space port. http://89.108.116.112/photos/0000037/087t.jpg Knavesmire is where the miners live to collect the metal compound from underneath the ground to bring to Abanderada. These recruits are more likely to be Devastators due to their bulk and strength even before training. http://89.108.116.112/photos/0000037/089t.jpg Wedgemore is where Apothecaries come from. The main hospital is built here and can heal almost any malediction that affects the people of Drakonia. Doctors from here move to other duchies to set up minor hospitals to help the needy. http://89.108.116.112/photos/0000037/086t.jpg Billige is a huge plain perfect for farming and has lakes ideal for fishing. Besides these things they are known more for their priests. As caravans come from this duchy and travel to others to deliver their goods, they bring their priests to come and preach the Emperor's name to everyone. Even the main church in Malta is led by a high priest of Billige. With this and their hard work as farmers makes them ideal to be Chaplains. http://89.108.116.112/photos/0000037/090t.jpg Utoyelna is home of the biggest library on the planet. It holds many books about the heroes of the Imperium and other such books. For some reason the physic trait is high here. It is believed that one of the first families here was a powerful psyker that served with the Imperial Guard for a while until he could serve no more. But since the psyker trait can't be proved to be genetic no one knows whether this is true or not... Recruiting When the Blood Eagles recruit each year they create a group of six veterans representative from each duchy, so that at least one of them knows the lifestyle of the duchy they are in. They go from duchy to duchy testing people's: strenght, intelligence, endurance, and faith in the Emperor. Each duchy prepares a group of fifty recruits to show to the recruiters. Only the five that perform the best are taken. At the end of the recruiting process thirty new recruits from each duchy are taken to Ebenum to further their abilities and prepare them for their eventual gene-seed implantation. Combat Doctrine "Upon the field of battle the Codex is law, no matter what you may think or feel is right that comes secondary to the almighty tome of Roboute Guilliman."- Xavier Maxxam Run exactly as the Codex demands. The only main differences is within their main organization. They rely mostly on man power versus vehicles believing them to be not as powerful as a man. This doesn't mean however that they look down at them it is just reserved for those best suited to use them the Tech Marines. They will ride them into battle but will fight on their own strength not that of a machine. Due to their lack of a huge fleet in the beginning of their Chapter's years they had to change the way they fought. Instead of a usual Black Templar fighting tactic of bombing he battlefield then dropping in, they had to use man power to force their way in. Even after the proper fleet was assembled this fighting style stayed due to its effectiveness in the early battles of the Blood Eagles. Organization "The only real way to fight is through proper organization and tactics from the Codex Astartes."- Rafen Talonspyre There are four Companies of Blood Eagles. The first consists of company veterans that stay in system in order to provide defense as well as be trainers for recruits. When another Company goes to battle some veteran squads are made from the First Company are sent along in order to ensure success. The second, third, and fourth companies are formated up to Codex standards. These companies go on "quests" for the Imperium by going to other systems to perform their duties. Only one company is allowed to go on a quest since the other two may needed for other ones while the third is gone. The company is chosen through a ritual know simply as the Gauntlet. Each company can decide on one of their members, limited to a normal battle brother, to participate in this event. The Gauntlet is always different each time so that brothers can't be prepared for it as well as the challenges increasing in difficulty. Which ever representative accomplishes the Gauntlet with the most efficiency wins the honor of his company going on this quest. When he wins he is never allowed to run the Gauntlet again because this marine has the experience to try again and maybe win despite newer and harder challenges. Despite losing the other two companies respectfully recognize the other company's right to perform what ever task is set forth. The markings of the Blood Eagles are quite unique, each member of the squad has the traditional Chapter symbol on the left shoulder pad while on the right the flag of the duchy they came from. Most people would think this causes division but instead creates a stronger sense of unity. A squad is filled with a random amount of members from each duchy thus forcing them to work together to serve the Emperor to all of their ability. Also their helmets are painted with blood streams underneath their eyes to represent the Blood Eagles found on Ebenum. Chapter Symbol http://www.lordswm.com/avatars/223/223868.jpg?7 Brother of the 3rd Company http://89.108.116.112/photos/0000037/035t.jpg Beliefs Starting from the Black Templars, Rafen Talonspyre was completely loyal to his Chapter's beliefs and ideology. The Blood Eagles are the servants of the Emperor and serve him through obedience to the Imperium and the Inquistion. Though only one Chapter goes on a quest at a time the other two Companies are there to take any other orders they may recieve. Only in the most desperate cases are the First Company called upon to do battle against his enemies. They feel that though the Imperium is of its citizens, they are spendable and would go to battle to save the Imperium as compared to saving that one citizen. Talonspyre leads his Blood Eagles strictly in order to make his former Chapter proud. The Blood Eagles still have the radical beliefs of the Black Templars but they are able to remain calm until the battle where they release the anger in order to improve their performance. Gene-seed After the Black Templars were able to clear the system of the Dark Eldar pirates, the Tech Priests of Mars were asked for additional Black Templar gene-seed. They found enough to help start the new Chapter and help them start off. This gene-seed was transported with no difficulties and a special area of the Fortress Monastery was created to help properly change squires into full battle-brothers. Battlecry "Who needs battlecrys? The name even makes me sick! Why would anyone need to cry during a battle! All we simply do is fight for the Emperor not shout for him..." The start of Talonspyre's rant after a foolish squire asked him why they didn't have a battlecry like other Chapters. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/230226-blood-eagles/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
BERZERKER! Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 Hi, hope i can offer a little help. Despite his great skill he was easily overwhelmed and beaten down by the warboss. "As I still stand no xeno filth shall harm a planet of the Emperor!" "Ya, then lets see da humie stand with no legs!" As quickly as this dialouge happened Talonspyre was on his back with no legs to support him. As this happened Hugo, who was given a downed scout's shotgun, managed to sneak a shot at the Warboss. With their leader dead the orks grew frantic and tried to run but the Blood Eagles mowed them down. And thus the first battle of the Blood Eagles ended... Some of your narrative seems to... jump between tenses, if that makes sense. Try to write as if you are dictating to the chapter's records. So, for instance; "Great skill and determination brought Talonspyre no blessing, and the Ork overwhelmed him with brute force, cleaving his legs from his torso. As all seemed lost Ironside, armed with the combat shotgun of a fallen brother-scout, leapt into the fray and felled the beast with a single well placed shot. With the brute dead, the Ork mobs flew into a panic, screaming their fear and fleeing the battered Blood Eagle line..." Just a suggestion. Also, i would extract the dialogue as quotes, and add them with a name and date, possibly a small description of the event, to the end of the relevant section of the IA. Personally, I wouldn't bother with the Ork's dialogue. Homeworlds: Drakonia and Ebenum No problems here, other than it's a little brief. Drakonia; a pure need for more detail. What creatures live here? There must be something. How does this affect the chapter? Are there any dangerous beings, Golems or somesuch, which threaten the monastery? Add more detail. Describe the fortress monastery; "a bleak, forboding slab of grey, standing above the plains like an ominous mountain, the fortress monastery of the blood eagles is designed to inspire fear in any who might attack it..." or not, just an idea. Also, the other areas.. what are the training grounds like? The library.. whats in it? does it contain chapter relics, ancient suits of terminator armour and the like. Ebenum; same thing, more detail. Landscape, plants, wildlife. Describe the people more, expand the civilisation, and talk about the traits that are favoured by the chapter recruiters. Talk about how the planet shapes the people on it. More detail on these duchies.. are they feudal? hostile? friendly? Why? Put in some info on the events in which they compete, and why they see this as making them worthy. Important Blood Eagles I like that you have a section for your characters, and already have some established. Try to describe their personalities, and origins. It seems that he has been around a lot longer then it seems..... This sentence made me laugh. :teehee: Whilst this would ordinarily be a good thing, you want people to take your chapter seriously. A few bits need re-writing, for little things like this. Obviously this is a WIP, and you will proof read before final publishing, so no real issue here. I could go through every section, and repeat myself, but it's all much the same as I have said. Your two main issues are that you need to add detail, and to try to write more formally. Read Codex entries to see how things are worded. All in all, a very good start. The heart is there, just needs a little polish. Hope I've been helpful. If you want to copy any of the suggested script in, go for it. PS. "Who needs battlecrys? The name even makes me sick! Why would anyone need to cry during a battle! All we simply do is fight for the Emperor not shout for him..." The start of Talonspyre's rant after a foolish squire asked him why they didn't have a battlecry like other Chapters I know some people will probably hate this, but I love it. It brings a little light into the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millenium. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/230226-blood-eagles/#findComment-2765549 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rafen_2 Posted May 21, 2011 Author Share Posted May 21, 2011 Thanks for the comments. The battlecry is defiantly going to stay for the tad bit of humor and plus I don't really have a battlecry that I like so it is either this or no battlecry. The Merlin thing wasn't really a joke but I will get rid of it as I can see where your going with that. Otherwise I just made the bones to see what people think and apparently you like it. So Now I'll add some fluff (copy your narrative correction :teehee:) and also it would be easier having what geneseed my chapter uses so I can fluff the Chapter up some more as well as Talonspyre who was a Captain of whatever Chapter it turns out to be. As far as Merlin and Ironside go I'm going to research some Grey Knight and TechMarine fluff. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/230226-blood-eagles/#findComment-2765554 Share on other sites More sharing options...
BERZERKER! Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 The Merlin thing wasn't really a joke but I will get rid of it as I can see where your going with that. I didn't mean the whole sentence, just the double 'it seems'. As for the geneseed, i would pick a chapter that has similar character to the one you're trying to create. Templars are knightly, but very much Knight Crusaders, which has a slightly different feel to what i think you want to achieve. Ultramarines are always a safe choice, but are more Roman themed. The Dark Angels are monastic, but their home planet has a knightly order thing going on, they could be a good choice. Blood Angels and Space Wolves are no go zones. The BA are very assault oriented and have the flaw, and Space Wolves are viking based with no successor chapters but one failed attempt. Imperial Fists might be a good one, if you can paint yellow. Crimson fists, I think, would be an excellent choice. Many of their marines fought alongside the black templars in the Declates Crusade, and formed a strong chapter bond, so might have adopted some of the knighly virtue of the Templars. My thinking is that Talonspyre could be a veteran of the Declates crusade. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/230226-blood-eagles/#findComment-2765566 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rafen_2 Posted May 21, 2011 Author Share Posted May 21, 2011 :devil: didn't see the double it seems I thought you meant the whole idea so I just scratched it anyway. I love your idea with the Crimson Fists that is what I'll probably do. That is great! You've been an perfect inspiration. Got a year for the Crusade? Can't find it. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/230226-blood-eagles/#findComment-2765584 Share on other sites More sharing options...
BERZERKER! Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 I don't have a date, sorry. The Lexicanum page http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Declates_Crusade has some information on what happened, but no date. I dont have access to them, but you might have a look in the Templar and Space Marine Codices. Also, it might be on the B&C timeline. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/230226-blood-eagles/#findComment-2766134 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rafen_2 Posted May 22, 2011 Author Share Posted May 22, 2011 Couldn't find that date either and I don't have any of the mentioned codexes. Added to Beliefs and Geneseed. Also added quotes introducing some of the sections. Changed Librarian's name to something not as far-fetched. Fixed Origins to mention Talonspyre's original chapter and status. Still need to: Talonspyre's Bio Maxxam's Bio Ironside's Bio Homeworld fluff Organize and update Combat Doctrine Seperate Section for Training (maybe) Any c and c you guys give Thanks for taking the time to read this and assist me. P.S. Forgot to mention why it will be my only DIY Space Marine Chapter. I feel that everyone should have one so not to take an idea away from someone else who just wants one (IMO). Plus my background is the Dawn of War games so I have custom color schemes and fluff for each race. Maybe when this is said and done I'll try my Chaos one :devil: Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/230226-blood-eagles/#findComment-2766442 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olis Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 The Imperium has only recently discovered a vital system that they could inhabit and use. I think a date would be a good idea here, considering this is 'recent'. Nothing too accurate but an indication for which century and millenium would be good. It had planets rich with resources that went from potentially good agriculture to a planet that would be perfect to be a Forge World due to high metal composts there. But the only issue is that in that sector Ork Waaaghs tended to start there. So before the people could be sent a Space Marine Chapter was needed for the sole purpose of protecting this sector. The Imperium recruited several people from not only the list of those who were set to migrate to the new planet, but as well as from sectors nearby that had high populations. After a company's worth of Blood Eagles were prepared, trained, and equipped they were sent to secure the sector. Lead by Commander Rafen Talonspyre, former Captain of the Crimson Fists, they set forth into the new sector. Upon arriving they were able to fully map out the sector with all of its planets and resources. The system contained three planets: Abanderada the potential forge world, Ebenum where the Chapter Stronghold would be made, and Drakonia which could be used for many things such as agriculture and etc.. They landed with no difficulty and were able to set up the planets for proper Imperium standards. When things seemed to be going good the forgotten green tide raised its head and looked towards this system.... I take it the expedition to colonise this system included other forces than Space Marines, right? There would have to be an armada of ships sent to the system for the whole effort. Just a couple of lines mentioning these others (or even just one) would avoid ambiguity. The first signs were when the sky grew dark over Abanerada. The workers there didn't even know what hit them when the orks touched ground and launched their attack. Yet one of the several workers Hugo Ironside was able to contact the Blood Eagles on Ebenum and warn them of the attack. They responded right away and travelled to the Forge World to be. They were able to destroy the first wave with no casualties but what good ork would only attack in one wave? As the Blood Eagles started to deal with the wounded the second wave hit. Once again they held their ground but this time suffered some casualties. Right after the second wave was done the third and final wave launched its attack with its Warboss at its head. The Blood Eagles, especially Rafen Talonspyre, would never forget what happened next. As the fighting carried on Talonspyre knew the only way to end it was to cut off the head of the snake. He charged the Warboss alone in his pride and arrogance. Great skill and determination brought Talonspyre no blessing, and the Ork overwhelmed him with brute force, cleaving his legs from his torso. As all seemed lost Ironside, armed with the combat shotgun of a fallen brother-scout, leapt into the fray and felled the beast with a single well placed shot. With the brute dead, the Ork mobs flew into a panic, screaming their fear and fleeing the battered Blood Eagle line. After mowing down the rest of the orks the system was secure and full colonization was able to finish without anymore interruptions. So, an indentured Imperial worker slew an ork warboss? Just like that? If I were him I'd be fleeing with all haste in the opposite direction. :) Ebenum is a bare and desolate wasteland where the Chapter Stronghold known as Fortress Camelot stands. Why use Camelot? How about Tolemac? It still references Camelot but it's not quite so obvious. Also on this planet is the training grounds, library, and major church of the Blood Eagles. To sum up all short and sweet this planet is for Blood Eagle use only. (fluff) Drakonia is the major (and only) recruiting world of the Blood Eagles. Here the planet is split up into six different "duchies". Each duchy has its own flag which gets represented on their Blood Eagle armor (discussed later). Every year a great ceremony is held in each duchy to celebrate the recruitment process of the Blood Eagles. There hundreds of men participate in different events to prove themselves worthy of becoming a Space Marine. Only 50 are chosen from each duchy (lets see 6 x 50 = 300 recruits per year). As mentioned above this planet is also used for other sorts of jobs besides being a Space Marine or going to Abanderada to work in the Forges there. (fluff) I like this bit, but we need to know if the events are bloody, if alot of aspirants drop out or die, etc etc. In other words a little more detail please. Rafen Talonspyre: After the battle he was picked up by his brothers and taken to the TechMarines to get fixed. Now with two bionic legs Talonspyre knows how to curb his pride and put intelligence before brawn. As a small vengence his legs were created from the bionics of the warboss melted into a new form. As well as doing this Talonspyre took the ax of the ork and created a power sword which he named "Excalibur" based on legends he had read as a boy. This sword seemed to be gifter with the Emperor's touch because when he turned it on fire shot forth from the sword setting the sword ablaze with the Emperor's glory. After quick taint checks (just in case ;) ) the sword was truly found to be blessed by the Emperor. (needs fluff) Might I suggest calling the blade a derivation of Caladbolg or Caledfwlch? Calling it Excalibur seems a little... cheesy. Xavier Maxxam: Once a former Grey Knight he was taken by the Imperium to serve with the Blood Eagles as Chief Librarian. He serves as advisor to Talonspyre and knows many things about the history of mankind without even cracking a book. (Needs fluff) Making a character an ex-Grey Knight isn't a good idea, especially so soon after the GK dex was released. As far as I'm aware Grey Knights aren't seconded to other forces as permenant officers. B) Hugo Ironside: After saving Talonspyre's life he was granted a position of Chapter Master's Honor Guard. He refused knowing that he was a much better builder then fighter so he was then promoted to Master TechMarine of the the Blood Eagles. He teaches the initiates the vast wisdom of the Omissah (which he was originally trained to be a tech priest on Mars). (needs fluff) Honour Guard and Techmarines are kind of mutually exclusive careers, and with the little snippet about Ironside being trained as a tech priest on Mars doesn't fit at all. I'm afraid to say I think this character needs a rewrite. :( Run exactly as the Codex demands. The only main differences is within their main organization. They rely mostly on man power versus vehicles believing them to be not as powerful as a man. This doesn't mean however that they look down at them it is just reserved for those best suited to use them (aka TechMarines). They will ride them into battle but will fight on their own strength not that of a machine. Upon this idea instead of motorcycles and landspeeders Marines ride upon mechanical horses (if anyone has ever seen Vampire Hunter D there you go) that are outfitted with artificial AIs that assist the Marine in battle. Most other Chapters look at this as strange behavior but after seeing how affective it can be they nod in respect of the idea. These ideas mostly grew from a collaboration of Talonspyre and Hugo Ironside. As a child Talonspyre heard stories of knights riding into battle on these majestic beasts and Ironside had the idea to create mental link between mechanical horse and Marine (sort of like Avatar in the concept). They follow the Codex as it says due to their rigid code of honor that Talonspyre has pushed onto the Chapter. What advantage does a horse (mechanical or otherwise) have over a bike? Horses would be a hell of alot more hassle for space marines than bikes. For a start would be the extremely complex machinery to keep a mechanical horse in working order and also the disadvantage of a mount that requires all four of it's legs to work properly (as opposed to two wheels for bikes). I think a heavy dose of pragmatism is needed here. :lol: There are four Companies of Blood Eagles. The first being original members as well as any veterans of the other three. They stay in system in order to provide defense as well as be trainers for recruits. The second, third, and fourth companies are formated the same way. They are your standard Space Marine company. The only difference is the markings and names of positions. Scouts are known as Squires, Sergeants Knights, Sternguard as Centurions , and terminators as Champions. Each member of the squad has the traditional Chapter symbol on the left shoulder pad while on the right the flag of the duchy they came from. Most people would think this causes division but instead creates a stronger sense of unity. A squad is filled with a random amount of members from each duchy thus forcing them to work together to serve the Emperor to all of their ability. Haven't got a problem with this. The prose needs a little refinement but that's just me being nitpicky. ^_^ The Blood Eagles have the mindset of the Crimson Fists mixed with the knightly values of the Black Templars. They don't specify at taking down one particular enemy such as the Crimson Fists. At any time the Imperium or Inquistion can call upon them and they are ready to answer. Nothing is more important to a Blood Eagle then following his code of honor which part of says to "honor thy maker and ruler". They never question the motives of the tasks assigned to them unless it deals with hurting innocent people who they feel obliged to protect as another part of their code. After fighting alongside Black Templars during the Declates Crusade, Rafen Talonspyre picked up many of the knightly values of this most revered Chapter. From this came the Blood Eagle code of honor and much of their organization and training rituals. The one area that he differed with the Black Templars on was the importance of saving on life. During the Crusade Talonspyre was shocked at how uncaring the Black Templars were towards the citizens of the Imperium. He felt that as a Space Marine it was their duty to protect and serve. Thanks to Rafen Talonspyre's past experiences and training he had put together his vision of what a perfect chapter should be. Also nothing wrong here, really. When the Blood Eagles were needed to guard the newly found system the Techpriests of Mars were sent to ask for available geneseed. They found that they had enough of the Crimson Fists geneseed to create a full company. This also helped narrow the Imperium's choice of commanders and went to see the Crimson Fists. After the system was secured the Techpriests found more and were able to safely ship it to the Blood Eagles Fortress Monastery. A special section of the Monastery was created in order to prepare squires to become full battle brothers. In all fairness, I do believe new chapters are created mostly fully formed rather than as a single company. I know it's been mentioned several times but it just doesn't sound right. Granted this kind of change would necessitate a partial rewrite but this sort of thing will happen. It's a refinement process. :P That's pretty much it. I know alot of it has been critique but if I am to help you, I must remain honest. I would rather you knew what I thought were flaws and have you improve instead of being chummy and not. I hope this helps. :) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/230226-blood-eagles/#findComment-2767005 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rafen_2 Posted May 22, 2011 Author Share Posted May 22, 2011 Thanks for your time and don't worry about being harsh thats why I PMed you. So here we go... So, an indentured Imperial worker slew an ork warboss? Just like that? If I were him I'd be fleeing with all haste in the opposite direction. Yeah I see the problem with that but if you read his bio (which I was rewriting as you did this) he was being trained as a Tech Priest so woulnd't he have some combat training? Plus I said as the ork was distracted and if I got hit in the head with a shotgun shell I wouldn't be standing still :P. Why use Camelot? How about Tolemac? It still references Camelot but it's not quite so obvious.I am going to re due some of the names and I actually like your sugesstions so thanks. I like this bit, but we need to know if the events are bloody, if alot of aspirants drop out or die, etc etc. In other words a little more detail please. I wrote the (fluff) thing referencing I'm still working on it but that was definantly what I was going to add and so far you and BERSERKER like my duchy idea. Hopefully I can pull off the shoulder pad thing when it comes to painting them... Might I suggest calling the blade a derivation of Caladbolg or Caledfwlch? Calling it Excalibur seems a little... cheesy. Same as above and still good suggestions. Making a character an ex-Grey Knight isn't a good idea, especially so soon after the GK dex was released. As far as I'm aware Grey Knights aren't seconded to other forces as permenant officers. :huh: I was thinking of making him a former Crimson Fist Librarian that was good friends with Talonspyre during the Crusade that would be why both were picked. I originally named him Merlin the All Knowing so I wasn't that happy with his character what so ever. Honour Guard and Techmarines are kind of mutually exclusive careers, and with the little snippet about Ironside being trained as a tech priest on Mars doesn't fit at all. I'm afraid to say I think this character needs a rewrite. I rewrote him so it covers his whole life basically and explains as I PMed you this was just the skeleton now here comes the meat. What advantage does a horse (mechanical or otherwise) have over a bike? Horses would be a hell of alot more hassle for space marines than bikes. For a start would be the extremely complex machinery to keep a mechanical horse in working order and also the disadvantage of a mount that requires all four of it's legs to work properly (as opposed to two wheels for bikes). I think a heavy dose of pragmatism is needed here. :) :P I'll go back to bikes but keep the special connection to machine and rider. Plus these guys will be called Horsemen. Haven't got a problem with this. The prose needs a little refinement but that's just me being nitpicky. Yeah I was going to fix the flow so two separate paragraphs with Crimson Fists traits in one and Black Templars in the other. Also nothing wrong here, really. At least one part managed to survive the fire :P. In all fairness, I do believe new chapters are created mostly fully formed rather than as a single company. I know it's been mentioned several times but it just doesn't sound right. Granted this kind of change would necessitate a partial rewrite but this sort of thing will happen. It's a refinement process. ^_^ The only reason I did that was wouldn't you want to get there as soon as possible? Maybe they could only get so many people. As you mentioned above I'm going to add others that are going to join in for the fun. That's pretty much it. I know alot of it has been critique but if I am to help you, I must remain honest. I would rather you knew what I thought were flaws and have you improve instead of being chummy and not. I hope this helps. :) Defiantly helps my good man. So the two major things I need to do is less King Arthury and more logical. Plus add some minor details. Once a get a year foe the Democles Crusade I could finally do timelines. If it is a long time ago then the original chapter master would be someone else and Talonspyre his succesor. So pretty much Taonspyre gonna end up on top :D. Once again thanks for your time and Cheers! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/230226-blood-eagles/#findComment-2767022 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rafen_2 Posted May 22, 2011 Author Share Posted May 22, 2011 New changes guys: Changed from Crimson Fists to Dark Angels (no one knows about the Crusade) Changed Beliefs Updated Combat Doctrine and Organization Changed Maxxam to former Dark Angel Changed Mechanical Horse to Cavliers Still need to: Add Homeworld Fluff Fix Origins Talonspyre Bio Maxxam Bio Any C and C you guys have I see that a lot of people are reading this yet none are responding. I hope that you guys aren't keeping your corrections to yourselves. Even if you have no criticism say what you like and don't like so I know what direction I'm heading in. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/230226-blood-eagles/#findComment-2767069 Share on other sites More sharing options...
BERZERKER! Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 [*]Changed Mechanical Horse to Cavliers As an alternative to bikes, you might go for some form of Thunderwolf-esque cavalry... Gaint reptiles or cats, or something like that. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/230226-blood-eagles/#findComment-2767096 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rafen_2 Posted May 22, 2011 Author Share Posted May 22, 2011 [*]Changed Mechanical Horse to Cavliers As an alternative to bikes, you might go for some form of Thunderwolf-esque cavalry... Gaint reptiles or cats, or something like that. I wanted something mechanical and knightly so those wouldn't really work but thanks. Plus they are now Dark Angel geneseed and their big bike users so makes more sense. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/230226-blood-eagles/#findComment-2767112 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rafen_2 Posted May 23, 2011 Author Share Posted May 23, 2011 Okay brothers (who ought invisible and are forever watching in silence), I've added a bit more by doing Talonspyre's bio. I would do more but it is late where I'm at and need to study for school :lol:. I promise a bit more shall come in the next few days. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/230226-blood-eagles/#findComment-2768589 Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightrawenII Posted May 24, 2011 Share Posted May 24, 2011 Hello and Welcome in the Liber. First, we have these two useful guides here, Guide to DIYing and Octaguide. Second, I'm harsh with my critique... you have been warned. B) ORIGINS The Imperium has only recently discovered a vital system that they could inhabit and use. ~ But the only issue is that in that sector Ork Waaaghs tended to start there. So before the people could be sent a Space Marine Chapter was needed for the sole purpose of protecting this sector. - The system is not sector and vice versa. - The Space Marine Chapters are created in massive events called Foundings. A Chapter created outside of official Founding is very unusual occurrence, with very few precedents. - Why not send already existing Chapter? - Ork Waaaghs! are initiated by several factors, but the definite one is planet(s) infested by Orks, so unless you eradicate the presence of Orks, an task by itself thanks to the nature of Orks, it will be endless struggle. It had planets rich with resources that went from potentially good agriculture to a planet that would be perfect to be a Forge World due to high metal composts there. - Forge World is far more than Industrial World. With the brute dead, the Ork mobs flew into a panic, screaming their fear and fleeing the battered Blood Eagle line. - I have yet to see a Ork fleeing in fear from fight... :( After mowing down the rest of the orks the system was secure and full colonization was able to finish without anymore interruptions. - See above. Homeworld 50 are chosen from each duchy (lets see 6 x 50 = 300 recruits per year). - Lol, IIRC in the Sons of Dorn novel, only tree guys made it to Scout stage from 5.000 aspirants. Important Blood Eagles - This should be at the end of article, mainly because it's irrelevant to IA. - Btw, the aspirants should be in pre-puberty or puberty stage, otherwise the gene-seed is not going to work (properly). Organization There are four Companies of Blood Eagles. - You are going to hate this question: Why? :) Only one company is allowed to go on a quest and the company is chosen through a ritual know simply as the Gauntlet. - Why? The Gauntlet is always different each time and the challenges only increase in difficulty. - Why? When he wins he is never allowed to run the Gauntlet again. - Why? The only difference is the markings and names of positions. Scouts are known as Squires, Sergeants Knights, Sternguard as Centurions , bike squad members as Cavaliers, and terminators as Champions. - Why? A squad is filled with a random amount of members from each duchy thus forcing them to work together to serve the Emperor to all of their ability. - Why? Beliefs After being saved by the Black Templars as a child, Talonspyre has researched their fighting style and their organization. - That was then, this is now... and right now he is captain of Dark Angels. :P Whenever the Imperium needs them, the Blood Eagles are ready to respond and will act faithfully in their eyes. - You said that ony one company is send out... :P He admired their knightly values but disagreed with their lack of concern about citizens of the Imperium. - What is more important; trees or the forest? He believes a true knight should follow his code of honor which states that one should serve their ruler but also be protector of the innocent and helpless. - Where he got such... foolish belief? :D +++ What about Hunt of the Fallen? Geneseed - What I said above in Origins section. Cheers, NightrawenII. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/230226-blood-eagles/#findComment-2768808 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rafen_2 Posted May 24, 2011 Author Share Posted May 24, 2011 Fianlly the famous NightrawnII has blessed me with his critique! :D The Imperium has only recently discovered a vital system that they could inhabit and use. ~ But the only issue is that in that sector Ork Waaaghs tended to start there. So before the people could be sent a Space Marine Chapter was needed for the sole purpose of protecting this sector. - The system is not sector and vice versa. Funny thing was I started writing the origins with sector but then changed to system. Guess I forgot to switch some things around. - The Space Marine Chapters are created in massive events called Foundings. A Chapter created outside of official Founding is very unusual occurrence, with very few precedents. - Why not send already existing Chapter? Because the Chapter would also be in charge of protecting the whole system as well so create them to secure and set up shop. - Ork Waaaghs! are initiated by several factors, but the definite one is planet(s) infested by Orks, so unless you eradicate the presence of Orks, an task by itself thanks to the nature of Orks, it will be endless struggle. ... Opps. Are there such things as tiny ork invasions? Might make more sense that way then. It had planets rich with resources that went from potentially good agriculture to a planet that would be perfect to be a Forge World due to high metal composts there.- Forge World is far more than Industrial World. I need to rephrase. I was describing two different planets sorry for the confusion. With the brute dead, the Ork mobs flew into a panic, screaming their fear and fleeing the battered Blood Eagle line.- I have yet to see a Ork fleeing in fear from fight... After mowing down the rest of the orks the system was secure and full colonization was able to finish without anymore interruptions. - See above. True thought that sounded bit off... Homeworld50 are chosen from each duchy (lets see 6 x 50 = 300 recruits per year). - Lol, IIRC in the Sons of Dorn novel, only tree guys made it to Scout stage from 5.000 aspirants. Is this a issue or just a comment? Seeing 300 is pretty big maybe five from each so 30. That sound better? Important Blood Eagles - This should be at the end of article, mainly because it's irrelevant to IA. - Btw, the aspirants should be in pre-puberty or puberty stage, otherwise the gene-seed is not going to work (properly). Okay I'll put at the end but I don't see how their unimportant if they are basically in charge of the Chapter. Talonspyre and Maxxam were one at a young age (kinda should mention ages) and Ironside seems a bit old so I'll make him younger. 23 maybe, since it is still pretty young or 20? OrganizationThere are four Companies of Blood Eagles. - You are going to hate this question: Why? Only one company is allowed to go on a quest and the company is chosen through a ritual know simply as the Gauntlet. - Why? The Gauntlet is always different each time and the challenges only increase in difficulty. - Why? When he wins he is never allowed to run the Gauntlet again. - Why? The only difference is the markings and names of positions. Scouts are known as Squires, Sergeants Knights, Sternguard as Centurions , bike squad members as Cavaliers, and terminators as Champions. - Why? A squad is filled with a random amount of members from each duchy thus forcing them to work together to serve the Emperor to all of their ability. - Why? So many questions! :P Does it matter why there are four seriously? Maybe they were able to have just the right amount for four. Would you send multiple companies on a "quest" or just one. Gauntlet if it stayed the same then everyone would know what was in it (I'll mention this though). Position names due to knightly feel that Talonspyre created. I thought I answered the last question in the sentence before? Guess not, but if one sqaud was all one duchy then wouldn't they be more unreliable and tend to be leaning towards their duchy instead of working together as a whole? Some of these questions were answered in it and I feel you didn't read through this section very well (no offense of course). Beliefs After being saved by the Black Templars as a child, Talonspyre has researched their fighting style and their organization. - That was then, this is now... and right now he is captain of Dark Angels. Whenever the Imperium needs them, the Blood Eagles are ready to respond and will act faithfully in their eyes. - You said that ony one company is send out... He admired their knightly values but disagreed with their lack of concern about citizens of the Imperium. - What is more important; trees or the forest? He believes a true knight should follow his code of honor which states that one should serve their ruler but also be protector of the innocent and helpless. - Where he got such... foolish belief? +++ What about Hunt of the Fallen? I can't seem to find the right geneseed to fit my views but now I think it is my views that need to change and I might go straight up uncaring Black Templar. Damn those trees! ;) So that is my response hopefully some issues are cleared up and today I've got time to fix the ovious things that you pointed out so thanks! Plus let's say I magically pull this through a 100% what happens after that? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/230226-blood-eagles/#findComment-2769522 Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightrawenII Posted May 24, 2011 Share Posted May 24, 2011 - The Space Marine Chapters are created in massive events called Foundings. A Chapter created outside of official Founding is very unusual occurrence, with very few precedents. - Why not send already existing Chapter? Because the Chapter would also be in charge of protecting the whole system as well so create them to secure and set up shop. Not, every Chapter starts with Homeworld, some of them are fleet-based at the beginning. #1 - Send a fleet-based Chapter #2 - Some carnage ensues. #3 - ??? #4 - Profit. Homeworld50 are chosen from each duchy (lets see 6 x 50 = 300 recruits per year). - Lol, IIRC in the Sons of Dorn novel, only tree guys made it to Scout stage from 5.000 aspirants. Is this a issue or just a comment? Seeing 300 is pretty big maybe five from each so 30. That sound better? Just comment to give the *right* idea of scale. So many questions! :D Does it matter why there are four seriously? Maybe they were able to have just the right amount for four. This fancy book, called Codex Astartes, wants to disagree... Would you send multiple companies on a "quest" or just one. *Surprise, surprise* Most Chapters send around 8 Companies on a quest(s). Position names due to knightly feel that Talonspyre created. Renaming the positions to resemble a Knight Order doesn't make you knightly. I thought I answered the last question in the sentence before? Guess not, but if one sqaud was all one duchy then wouldn't they be more unreliable and tend to be leaning towards their duchy instead of working together as a whole? Some of these questions were answered in it and I feel you didn't read through this section very well (no offense of course). Yes, I did. However, the Space marine aspirant is subject of psycho-conditioning and hypno-therapy. Not to mention, he is not citizen of duchy anymore, he is Space Marine of Blood Eagles. The allegiance of your marines has been shifted when you have not been looking. ;) Cheers, NightrawenII. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/230226-blood-eagles/#findComment-2769769 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rafen_2 Posted May 24, 2011 Author Share Posted May 24, 2011 Sorry NightRawenII, I was actually modifying it again as you answered me. Not, every Chapter starts with Homeworld, some of them are fleet-based at the beginning. #1 - Send a fleet-based Chapter #2 - Some carnage ensues. #3 - ??? #4 - Profit. Yeah I changed the Origins which need a good looking over (I feel I used Black Templar combat doctrine incorrectly). Just comment to give the *right* idea of scale. I agreed with you and changed each duchy to five. This fancy book, called Codex Astartes, wants to disagree... Sorry I don't have the book can you give me an explanation to importance? *Surprise, surprise* Most Chapters send around 8 Companies on a quest(s). :jaw: I did not know that. Everything I read (not a lot just saying now) says one company goes to do it. All well so 8 each time? That is like a whole Chapter! Maybe two or three I can see. So maybe I'll use eight companies in total which I believe is stated in the Codex and two or three at a time. Renaming the positions to resemble a Knight Order doesn't make you knightly. True I trashed it due to its silliness value. I think once again I overdid the knightly theme :P Yes, I did. However, the Space marine aspirant is subject of psycho-conditioning and hypno-therapy. Not to mention, he is not citizen of duchy anymore, he is Space Marine of Blood Eagles. The allegiance of your marines has been shifted when you have not been looking. I don't think of it that way. If you read the new duchy section I just added each duchy is home to a certain type of Blood Eagle. I think you would be proud to represent your duchy in the Blood Eagles. Maybe loss your allegiance when you gain veteran status or an important position (Chaplain, Apothecary, Tech Marine, etc..) Thanks for your response please read the stuff I wrote when you were busy. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/230226-blood-eagles/#findComment-2769784 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Octavulg Posted May 24, 2011 Share Posted May 24, 2011 I've never heard anything about eight companies going on a quest... Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/230226-blood-eagles/#findComment-2769807 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rafen_2 Posted May 24, 2011 Author Share Posted May 24, 2011 I've never heard anything about eight companies going on a quest... 2 to 3 right? I thought 8 seemed too large since most Chapters only have 9 something chapters. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/230226-blood-eagles/#findComment-2769810 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Octavulg Posted May 24, 2011 Share Posted May 24, 2011 Well, I think it depends on the quest or what have you. More important = more commitment, obviously. But I didn't think there was any reason it couldn't fall anywhere in between 1 and 10. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/230226-blood-eagles/#findComment-2769822 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shinzaren Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 Penitent Crusades involve the whole chapter, so any quest/crusade of similar import could easily serve a vehicle for a Chapter wide deployment. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/230226-blood-eagles/#findComment-2769853 Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightrawenII Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 *Surprise, surprise* Most Chapters send around 8 Companies on a quest(s). :whoops: I did not know that. Everything I read (not a lot just saying now) says one company goes to do it. All well so 8 each time? That is like a whole Chapter! Maybe two or three I can see. So maybe I'll use eight companies in total which I believe is stated in the Codex and two or three at a time. I've never heard anything about eight companies going on a quest... Seems like I should explain this better.... First, single Companies aren't send anywhere, because the Chapters don't operate on the company basis. It will be most likely Battle Company + support and given the importance of marines in the Imperium, it's very likely that the force of around 800 marines is away most of the time. You don't send one company, while the rest of Chapter is sitting on their arses in Fortress Monastery. And yes, you could draw a units from 7 companies per single engagement. I don't think of it that way. If you read the new duchy section I just added each duchy is home to a certain type of Blood Eagle. I think you would be proud to represent your duchy in the Blood Eagles. Maybe loss your allegiance when you gain veteran status or an important position (Chaplain, Apothecary, Tech Marine, etc..) + Homeworlds: Drakonia - Fail. Let me elaborate; First, the one area producing single type of guy is unbelievable. It's like saying the Alps region is the source of shepherds only. Second, the Chapter is recruiting the young boys around age of 12. These boys are then subjects of all sorts of messing with mind; Not only their body is transformed by the gene-seed, even their mind is formed and shaped into 'perfect' form. Third, the Adeptus Astartes aren't humans anymore, therefore all the links to their former lives are deemed as pointless and unnecessary since it could cause unneeded friction and elitism. ++++ ORIGINS So a crusade was called for led by Marshall Draconus, Castellan Rafen Talonspyre, and a librarian named Xavier Maxxam. - Eh, man. How learned you are in terms of W40k lore? There is one fundamental problem with this sentence... Black Templars don't have Librarians. - Lexicanum and B&C Librarium. Upon landing they found that most of the xeno base was underground and that the bombardments only destroyed the top defenses. - Dark Eldar are race of raiders and corsairs, it's very unusual for them to build pernament bases outside of Webway. As the Templars prepared to leave a representative from the Imperium came and told them that a new Chapter would be created to honor the 22nd Founding as well as to create a permanent defense in this system and a force that could be called on to act. - Chapter from 22nd Founding bearing the gene-seed of Rogal Dorn? Why am I not surprised... :P He then asked them if any of them would like to help lead or train the new Chapter since Black Templar gene-seed was going to be used. - And I thought that you will read the guides... How foolish of me. :) Homeworlds: Ebenum Certain sections are separated from the main desert in order to protect the Marines training from the dangerous Desert Dragons that are known for their wild rage that makes them more likely to attack any living thing. - Protect the Adeptus Astartes, the Emperor's finest warriors? :huh: Woe to Imperium if the Space Marines needs protection... Besides the Desert Dragons the only other living creatures are the Blood Eagles. - One must wonder; What these animals eat? - The capitals are confusing. Homeworlds: Drakonia But since the psyker trait can't be proved to be genetic no one knows whether this is true or not... - Lol, the 'Psyker' is genetic mutation or genus. Combat Doctrine Instead of a usual Black Templar fighting tactic of bombing he battlefield then dropping in, they had to use man power to force their way in. Even after the proper fleet was assembled this fighting style stayed due to its effectiveness in the early battles of the Blood Eagles. - :huh: Cheers, NightrawenII. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/230226-blood-eagles/#findComment-2770069 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Banelord Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 I've never heard anything about eight companies going on a quest... I thought they set themselves up into “Task Forces”, containing elements of different companies, its size depending on the mission/quest. In one of the old codexs (3ed edition space marine I think) it had a list of how the Ultramarines were organised. It listed 3 groups, 2 groups were your typical setup up 1 company supported by elements of 1st and 10th but one Force contained 6th company but also had bits of 1st, 8th, 9th and 10th company supporting them. All groups contained various tanks ect.. from the Armoury. I’m guessing whoever sends the most units takes overall command :D Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/230226-blood-eagles/#findComment-2770110 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rafen_2 Posted May 25, 2011 Author Share Posted May 25, 2011 Seems like I should explain this better.... First, single Companies aren't send anywhere, because the Chapters don't operate on the company basis. It will be most likely Battle Company + support and given the importance of marines in the Imperium, it's very likely that the force of around 800 marines is away most of the time. You don't send one company, while the rest of Chapter is sitting on their arses in Fortress Monastery. And yes, you could draw a units from 7 companies per single engagement. Then why have companies? Have the Chapter pick names out of a hat then! So when a chapter goes out they send a company with a couple of other company guys? That seems completly idiotic to me. I could see sending five companies to total 800. [Homeworlds: Drakonia - Fail. Let me elaborate; First, the one area producing single type of guy is unbelievable. It's like saying the Alps region is the source of shepherds only. Second, the Chapter is recruiting the young boys around age of 12. These boys are then subjects of all sorts of messing with mind; Not only their body is transformed by the gene-seed, even their mind is formed and shaped into 'perfect' form. Third, the Adeptus Astartes aren't humans anymore, therefore all the links to their former lives are deemed as pointless and unnecessary since it could cause unneeded friction and elitism. Isn't there a nicer way to put that! Yet it does make a bit of sense. - Eh, man. How learned you are in terms of W40k lore? There is one fundamental problem with this sentence... Black Templars don't have Librarians.- Lexicanum and B&C Librarium. My bad! I was reading the Lexicanum page and saw nothing about no librarians in fighting style so opps. As the Templars prepared to leave a representative from the Imperium came and told them that a new Chapter would be created to honor the 22nd Founding as well as to create a permanent defense in this system and a force that could be called on to act.- Chapter from 22nd Founding bearing the gene-seed of Rogal Dorn? Why am I not surprised... He then asked them if any of them would like to help lead or train the new Chapter since Black Templar gene-seed was going to be used. First thing I don't get what you're trying to achieve. Maybe predictability or just everyone does that? Once again you managed to find the worst way to say something you might as well just come out and say it straight. Plus I swore there was a guide made by Octavulg on how to properly critique. But how foolish of me to expect you to have read that. :cuss Certain sections are separated from the main desert in order to protect the Marines training from the dangerous Desert Dragons that are known for their wild rage that makes them more likely to attack any living thing.- Protect the Adeptus Astartes, the Emperor's finest warriors? Woe to Imperium if the Space Marines needs protection... Besides the Desert Dragons the only other living creatures are the Blood Eagles. - One must wonder; What these animals eat? - The capitals are confusing. Okay animal danger not so cool and need to give them a diet. Changing sectioned for from safety from animals to safety from getting lost is sand storms. The Captials? What capitals? Upon landing they found that most of the xeno base was underground and that the bombardments only destroyed the top defenses.- Dark Eldar are race of raiders and corsairs, it's very unusual for them to build pernament bases outside of Webway. If they were collecting the metal compound underground wouldn't you need a permeant base? Combat Doctrine Instead of a usual Black Templar fighting tactic of bombing he battlefield then dropping in, they had to use man power to force their way in. Even after the proper fleet was assembled this fighting style stayed due to its effectiveness in the early battles of the Blood Eagles. Read the Lexicum page about their tatics. First they bomb/land. Then if its too tuff get heavy support in and attack weakest part of enemy line. I didn't like that style so I decided to change it. Might need to reword it better. I tried making a logical excuse saying they didn't have any space ships in the early years of their chapter. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/230226-blood-eagles/#findComment-2770604 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Octavulg Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 Then why have companies? Have the Chapter pick names out of a hat then! So when a chapter goes out they send a company with a couple of other company guys? That seems completly idiotic to me. I could see sending five companies to total 800. They'd send one or two Battle Companies, plus parts of Reserve Companies, as a general rule. That's what Reserve Companies are for, really. Bigger missions, add more. Smaller missions, send less. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/230226-blood-eagles/#findComment-2770623 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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