The Feast of Lances

[strongbow]

This is something I've written for my own purposes connected to the Liber Astartes Campaign. This is a short piece on how the new chapter master earned his title just in time for the first phase of the campaign. Would love any critique and if any mistakes are in there (be as pedantic as you like) let me know too ;) . The Knights of the Phoenix are my DIY Chapter, their IA can be found here if anyone's interested. I don't think they're 100% finished and some things I've included in this short are not in the IA as I just came up with them. Thanks for reading and enjoy.

 

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837.M35 – Chateau Mousillon, Xerusalen. Fortress Monastery of The House of Mousillon, Knights of the Phoenix.

 

The jarring of the two blades rang through the air, the impact shuddering the powerful arms of warriors wielding them. The two Astartes were the best that the Knights could offer, the two captains that remained in the Feast of Lances, the competition around which each the leader of each of the 6 Houses of the chapter met to decide through feat of arms who would lead the chapter. The hopes, dreams and pride of each House weighed down the shoulders of the two combatants, an invisible, oppressing force which drove them onward, their bodies dripping with sweat and wracked with the agonies of hours of duelling. The scene was a whirlwind of fine robes and heavy blades, the two implacable giants expert in their craft.

 

First Blood.

 

One drop would decide the winner from the loser. Days of intense combat and hardship would be wasted with the spilling of a single drop. The shame was too much to bear. Phillipe la Montagne thought these words to himself over and over again as the duel continued, each perfectly judged parry and thrust a testament to several lifetimes of war, his instinct having taken over long ago. He finally had the chance to fulfil his greatest ambition. No man, especially not some young upstart from the House of Ibelin was going to stop him. At nearly three hundred years old Phillipe la Montagne was the oldest captain fighting, his experience defeating the relatively younger competition. His opponent, Guillaume le Taureau, was the youngest captain to ever compete at the Feast.

 

The arrogance of the young man had been insufferable, but after such a long time the effort of the fight was draining his confidence. Phillipe wasn’t called ‘The Mountain’ for nothing.

 

At long last the focus of the young captain began to wane, the experienced and unyielding older warrior outlasting him. With one foot centimetres out of place the young captain lost balance for a fraction of second. Seizing his chance with an unnatural speed, Phillipe struck. His blade slit the forearm of his opponent, the surgical strike causing noreal damage whilst making it clear to everyone who the victor was. As the blood still dripped from his blade, Phillipe raised it into the air above his head, roaring in triumph. On one side of the great hall scores of space marines bellowed in celebration at their captain’s victory, “LA MONTAGNE! LA MONTAGNE! LA MONTAGNE!” as their counterparts on the other side of the room sat in a stony silence.

 

Phillipe turned to his opponent, offering his hand. Guillaume took it. “Take this as a lesson, Captain.” He said quietly, before turning to embrace his own warriors, returning to them as Chapter Master. After seven hundred years of waiting the House of Chatillon was once again the First House.

[Yaj]

Very enjoyable, well done.

 

Are you planning to write more? you really should in my opinion.

[strongbow]

Thanks very much!

 

I was thinking that this piece needs an expansion really. I've made no effort to describe the actual place this is set in, so it needs to be lengthened a bit.

 

I think I will be writing more regarding this character and the setting of the Liber campaign, but I'm going to have to wait on the campaign to develop a bit to get some inspiration! :D I'm not sure exactly how the campaign will pan out. It may well not give me enough room to write all I want so we'll see.

 

Thanks for your support, I appreciate it! :)

 

EDIT: Thinking about it though, I'm not sure where I'd fit in a description of the hall. I'm worried it might slow the pace down. It would probably be a few more lines, either at the very start or as a paragraph before the 'first blood' bit. Any ideas anyone?

[facmanpob]

Thanks very much!

 

I was thinking that this piece needs an expansion really. I've made no effort to describe the actual place this is set in, so it needs to be lengthened a bit.

A nice bit of writing, very enjoyable :lol:

 

I disagree that it needs lengthening though, the immediacy of the action and the unknown combatants, location etc add an air of mystery to the proceedings, allowing the reader to use his/her imagination.

[strongbow]

Thanks for the comment!

 

Fair enough, I must admit I was worried that adding more would slow it down, you've given me more reason to leave it as it is. Thanks for the insight, it's difficult to get an idea of what a reader actually thinks when you're the one writing.

 

Glad you enjoyed it.

 

Btw if you enjoy my writing I have another thread here. This is the beginnings of a much longer story that I am writing (admittedly very slowly). If you're interested, I'd love to hear what you think.

 

Cheers.

[Pulse]

Very nice, i instantly invisioned the duel, only good writing does that!

[strongbow]

Thanks for the compliment! It's really great to hear such positive feedback!