Rafmunkur Posted May 27, 2011 Share Posted May 27, 2011 New user here to B&C, signed up so I could get a little input on the fluff I made for my army. Let me preface this by saying; The fluff I've written is only a first draft, spouted out in a single sit-down, just something to fit around the paint scheme. I've been painting my models this way for quite some time and I just wanted to have a fluffy reason to keep doing it. So some of it's going to be ok, the rest will be junk, but that's where you guys come in! Have a read, and let me know what you think... (be gentle!). I'll post the stuff I've written, then a couple of pictures below - if I can figure out how to get that working properly - to kind of emphasise the point. I don't know, maybe you should look at the terrible phone-snapped pictures first to give you an idea of what I'm talking about. Either way, I hope I'm better at this than Matt Ward. Thanks in advance B&C. Rafmunkur ****** The Storm Bearers Stored deep in the vaults of their fortress-monastery on Fulmine, the chapters' scribes have painstakingly kept the ancient and detailed records of the Storm Bearer's history, from the very founding of the chapter in the early 33rd Millennium. A reclusive chapter, the Storm Bearers were originally created to help counter a rapidly increasing ork threat in eastern fringes of the Segmentum Ultima. The gene-seed of the primarch Vulkan was selected by the Priesthood of Mars for the creation of the chapter, and it would come to serve them well in time. The battle-brothers of the Storm Bearers do not share the distinctive darkened skin of the Salamanders space marines with whom they share their genetic heritage, however they still benefit from the same natural adaptation to low-light conditions, although this is as much a product of the effects of their homeworld as it is their implanted genes. Fulmine is classed as a death world by the Imperial Administratum, its ashen wastelands almost permanently overcast with unrelenting electrical storms, but little rain. Plant life is virtually non-existent on the surface, with so little sunlight ever breaking through the thick cloud layer. Small forests of cactus-like plants grow around the foothills of the many towering, rocky mountains and cliffs that scar the blackened landscape. The planet's human population is surprisingly large however, with many of the tribes living in caves or underground caverns, relatively safe from the colossal insectoid creatures that roam freely in the world outside. Life for the tribals is bleak, brutal, and often very short. Food on Fulmine is scarce, unless whole tribe works together to bring down one of the smaller, more vulnerable Kriska – a roughly man-sized creature which although relatively slow and shambling, has thick armour plating and terrible mandibles that can tear a man in half with ease. Those who cannot fight the native fauna are forced to survive off the nutritious but mostly tasteless cacti, cave fungi, or occasionally fish from underground streams or lakes. As such, the tribes of Fulmine have learned to count on each member of the group to perform their own individual task, working silently and flawlessly as one single body to move through the wastelands, hunting or gathering during the minimal daylight hours before the storms close in again. The Fulmineans have understandably come to view the Storm Bearers as gods – their dark armour adorned with images of death and the very storms that wrack the planet they inhabit a mirror to the tribals' very existence. The fortress-monastery Atria Intonat is situated in the largest mountain range on Fulmine. Surrounded on all sides by sheer cliffs and perma-frost covered peaks, hidden amongst the dark clouds, it is virtually unreachable except by air. Once a year, the chapter's master of recruits and one of the higher-ranking apothecaries travels to each of the many stone altars in the open planes. Whole tribes will travel together, often allying with other nearby tribes to move more safely to these wide open areas, where they will offer their bravest sons to be tried and tested by the 'gods'. The aspirants are collected, and taken to the edge of one of the forests surrounding the foot of the vast mountain range that holds the fortress-monastery. Beacons of light are then lit at the monastery, illuminating the clouds around them in an unearthly blue glow, indicating where the aspirants must reach. The journey is often fatal to most of the group, very few able to survive the elements, the terrain, the countless attacks from the insectoids or the sheer distance to be travelled. Any who stray from the group inevitably perish. Those who survive and reach Atria Intonat, malnourished, exhausted and near-death are taken within those great and hallowed halls to begin their transformation into Space Marines of the Storm Bearers. Unlike almost all other chapters, the storm bearers use no squad markings or numbers. Neither do they have a chapter badge, taking their role as 'shock troops' quite literally, choosing to appear as the living embodiment of the storms that shape their early lives. Their jet-black armour is covered in a form of the same camelioline so often used as camouflage, however instead of hiding them, it is designed to shimmer with the image of lightning. On more than one occasion, battles have been averted at the sight of these towering warriors silently and purposefully moving towards their objective, the defenders fleeing or laying down their arms in awe. Records held by the Storm Bearers show that early in their history, the inquisition kept a close eye on the chapter's development and actions, their appearance clearly sparking some concerns regarding their allegiance. It did not take long before the chapter were able to prove themselves. In the chapter's very first conflict, they joined alongside two other newly-founded chapters in the defence of the forge world Exundo from an Ork invasion led by a highly influential warboss who had drawn several Ork bands together under his banner. The size of the invading green tide was much greater than expended, and heavy losses were taken, with one of the new chapters being destroyed entirely in the failed defence of the space port. In a desperate bid to delay any further enemy troops from being brought to bear against the beleaguered defenders, the Storm Bearers resorted to using experience gained from their early lives on Fulmine. Splitting into small squads, armed with only their bolt pistols and chainswords, the battle-brothers cut into the main body of the horde in six different locations. Constantly moving, pressing on towards their goal without hesitation for the injured or dead, they used the confusion of their sudden and unexpected counter-attack to speed their advance, not concerned with destroying the enemy entirely, but reaching the objective at all costs. This dogged determination allowed three of the squads to reach the space port, each down to only a handful of men, but enough to lock down the spaceport until reinforcements could arrive to finally and successfully halt the invasion. Since Exundo, the Storm Bearers have often been wary of the Inquisition, preferring to stay clear of inquisitorial matters where at all possible, but have instead created a long-lasting bond of trust with the Adeptus Mechanicus for their unrelenting defence of a forge world. The chapter sends a much greater number of its battle-brothers to be trained by the Priesthood of Mars than the majority of other chapters, and this has benefited them two-fold. Most battle-brothers of the Storm Bearers are, like their parent chapter the Salamanders, able to maintain and repair their own armour and weapons, allowing the Techmarines to focus their attentions on creating new suits of artificer armour or powerful special weapons. Secondly, the chapter has often found itself able to requisition new vehicles, equipment or materials much faster than those chapters who view the Adeptus Mechanicus with distrust. While the Storm Bearers chapter have been in service for thousands of years, the isolated location of their homeworld of Fulmine coupled with their close ties to the Priesthood of Mars have kept them outside of the majority of the more prominent conflicts in recent history. Where a battle may wage on a planet for several years, it is the Storm Bearers that keep the supply lines clear. While the combined might of multiple armies might be brought to crush a rebellion in a system, it is the Storm Bearers who destroy the enemy's reinforcements or cripple their communications or supply networks by brute force. They march into battle in the pitch black of night, without a word, their shimmering armour a portent of their foe's destruction in a storm of brutal fury. They are the Storm Bearers. **** Pics - took these with my phone since I don't own a camera. They're really rubbish photos but they get the point across. Vindy - http://i213.photobucket.com/albums/cc240/LupusSicarius/DSC00441.jpg Dready - http://i213.photobucket.com/albums/cc240/LupusSicarius/DSC00442.jpg Termy - http://i213.photobucket.com/albums/cc240/LupusSicarius/DSC00443.jpg Techy - http://i213.photobucket.com/albums/cc240/LupusSicarius/DSC00444.jpg Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/230735-ia-storm-bearers-first-draft/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightrawenII Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 Hello and welcome in the Liber. I would like to introduce you to some fine guides, the Guide to DIYing and Octaguide 2.0. I'm often harsh with my C&C, you have been warned. Now... Stored deep in the vaults of their fortress-monastery on Fulmine, the chapters' scribes have painstakingly kept the ancient and detailed records of the Storm Bearer's history, from the very founding of the chapter in the early 33rd Millennium. - It's good to see a Chapter, whose Librarians aren't here just for show. ;) A reclusive chapter, the Storm Bearers were originally created to help counter a rapidly increasing ork threat in eastern fringes of the Segmentum Ultima. - Reclusive? Is there any meaning behind this? ... however they still benefit from the same natural adaptation to low-light conditions... - I have not seen any indication of this in the case of Salamanders. Fulmine - I'm not expert on this sort of thing. But would not the absence of light turn this planet into ball of ice? Whole tribes will travel together, often allying with other nearby tribes to move more safely to these wide open areas, where they will offer their bravest sons to be tried and tested by the 'gods'. - You are going to hate this question: Why? ^_^ Those who survive and reach Atria Intonat - hmmm: "The fortress-monastery Atria Intonat is *snip* virtually unreachable except by air." - What is the point of this journey? Unlike almost all other chapters, the storm bearers use no squad markings or numbers. - Which begets a question: How do the commander identify and address these squads? Neither do they have a chapter badge - Again, the identification issue... The size of the invading green tide was much greater than expended, and heavy losses were taken, with one of the new chapters being destroyed entirely in the failed defence of the space port. In a desperate bid to delay any further enemy troops from being brought to bear against the beleaguered defenders, the Storm Bearers resorted to using experience gained from their early lives on Fulmine. Splitting into small squads, armed with only their bolt pistols and chainswords, the battle-brothers cut into the main body of the horde in six different locations. Constantly moving, pressing on towards their goal without hesitation for the injured or dead, they used the confusion of their sudden and unexpected counter-attack to speed their advance, not concerned with destroying the enemy entirely, but reaching the objective at all costs. This dogged determination allowed three of the squads to reach the space port, each down to only a handful of men, but enough to lock down the spaceport until reinforcements could arrive to finally and successfully halt the invasion. - Discrepancy of scale. If one Chapter was wiped out, then small squads would not make any difference. Since Exundo, the Storm Bearers have often been wary of the Inquisition... - Why? but have instead created a long-lasting bond of trust with the Adeptus Mechanicus for their unrelenting defence of a forge world. - Why? - Forge World is home of Titan Legion(s), regiments of Skitarii, Ordinatus weapons and Admech Fleet(s), only the most insane or powerful enemy dare to attack such planet. The chapter sends a much greater number of its battle-brothers to be trained by the Priesthood of Mars than the majority of other chapters, and this has benefited them two-fold. Most battle-brothers of the Storm Bearers are, like their parent chapter the Salamanders, able to maintain and repair their own armour and weapons, allowing the Techmarines to focus their attentions on creating new suits of artificer armour or powerful special weapons. Secondly, the chapter has often found itself able to requisition new vehicles, equipment or materials much faster than those chapters who view the Adeptus Mechanicus with distrust. - That's fine and dandy, but these benefits are... somewhat one-sided don't you agree? ^_^ While the Storm Bearers chapter have been in service for thousands of years, the isolated location of their homeworld of Fulmine coupled with their close ties to the Priesthood of Mars have kept them outside of the majority of the more prominent conflicts in recent history. - The Adeptus Astartes are rapid response force. The moment the traitor governor announce the seclusion from Imperium, his palace get hit by the storm of Drop pods. Isolation by "location" has no bearing on prominence of Chapter. Isolation by "travel" is different matter. - I don't understand how close ties with Admech seclude the Chapter from any conflict. ;) They are Space Marines and they are here to kick ass. +++++ I've been painting my models this way for quite some time and I just wanted to have a fluffy reason to keep doing it. So some of it's going to be ok, the rest will be junk, but that's where you guys come in! Have a read, and let me know what you think... (be gentle!). - The best way how to create the background for your Chapter is make a image* of typical battle-brother of your Chapter and then write your stuff towards this goal. *Or representation/characterization... Cheers, NighrawenII. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/230735-ia-storm-bearers-first-draft/#findComment-2775923 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rafmunkur Posted May 30, 2011 Author Share Posted May 30, 2011 Firstly, thanks for your reply, been waiting a few days and after reading many of the other threads I was hoping it would be you who read and commented! I had read the guide to DIYing before writing this first draft, not had a look at the octaguide, and after replying I'll have a re-read of it before I write draft number two. As for being harsh in the C&C, anything constructive isn't harsh, it's helpful so thanks again on that front. Okay, I'll respond to the points that require a comment one after the other, here goes! A reclusive chapter, the Storm Bearers were originally created to help counter a rapidly increasing ork threat in eastern fringes of the Segmentum Ultima.- Reclusive? Is there any meaning behind this? = Primarily I wanted to make a point of them being just far enough from the main forces of the imperium for me to have them a long-established chapter without them ever having been mentioned in any official fluff. The whole "If they're so amazing why have we never heard of them" comes to mind. Fluff-wise we can assume that this means that instead of trying to expand the imperium or joining in with other chapters to assist in their goals, the Storm Bearers would be more focussed on their own long-term objectives. While I haven't got it down in stone yet, since they're a Salamanders successor chapter with ties to the Adeptus Mechanica, it's more than likely they're searching for long-lost STC's or something to that effect. So in short - most of the chapter's actions are 'off the beaten track' so to speak, and they prefer to keep it that way unless otherwise unavoidable. ... however they still benefit from the same natural adaptation to low-light conditions...- I have not seen any indication of this in the case of Salamanders. = from http://warhammer40k.wikia.com/wiki/Salamanders "...burning eyes with the capability to see in the infared band of the electromagnetic spectrum, which gives them a natural form of night vision" I figured that since they recruit from a low-light planet, this slight genetic deviation would be more than likely to carry over, especially after thousands of years. Fulmine- I'm not expert on this sort of thing. But would not the absence of light turn this planet into ball of ice? = If the planet were completely dark, yes, but still only to a certain degree, depending on the heat at the core of the planet, the planet's size, greenhouse gasses, etc. Also, the almost constant cloud cover would act as a sort of greenhouse effect, trapping any existing heat in, depsite blocking a great deal of the solar radiation. However I made sure to show that on occasion the clouds do break, or at least thin out often enough to allow some light through, but I'll have to clear that section up better and make it a little more detailed. I live just outside the arctic circle, and during the winter we go for a good couple of months without sunlight, but sometimes even then we might not have the ice. It's actually colder if the clouds go away, because they stop trapping that warm air below the stratosphere. Whole tribes will travel together, often allying with other nearby tribes to move more safely to these wide open areas, where they will offer their bravest sons to be tried and tested by the 'gods'.- You are going to hate this question: Why? = I love "why" since it lets me expand a bit more on my ideas! :D I'm assuming you're questioning why they give up their sons to the gods as opposed to why they band together, since if they didn't work together to reach these areas, it's likely the bugs would manage to eat a whole bunch of them before they got to the altars. Life on Fulmine as a normal tribal is HARD. There's no doubt about it. Admittedly the path to becoming a space marine is just as dangerous if not more so, but the tribes will by this point in their history have legends and stories about how those who can complete the "gods" trial will become one of them. Perhaps the tribals believe this will mean entrance to some sort of 'heaven' or something. What they believe occurs afterwards however is irrelevent, as long as they have the drive and skill to complete the trial and join the chapter. Those who survive and reach Atria Intonat- hmmm: "The fortress-monastery Atria Intonat is *snip* virtually unreachable except by air." - What is the point of this journey? = The point of the journey is that the aspirants have to work together, showing teamwork, and in some cases leadership. Only the strongest will survive climbing the deadly cliffs and mountains, only the best warriors will be able to defend the group from the attacking creatures, and only the most stubborn will be able to complete the journey. Basically, it's just really hard, a bunch of them will die, and that will weed out the weakest so that the survivors will have the best chance of living through the whole process of becoming a marine. One would hope. Unlike almost all other chapters, the storm bearers use no squad markings or numbers.- Which begets a question: How do the commander identify and address these squads? Neither do they have a chapter badge - Again, the identification issue... = Ah, here's another one that's basically causing an issue because of how I paint them. It must be remembered that I've been making and painting this army on-and-off for a good few years, just because I enjoy painting them that way. I'm sort of having to bend the fluff around the models a little bit, so there's a few of these areas I need to explain a bit better, or find a suitable-size fluff-hammer to fit a square peg into a round hole. I'm guessing the easiest option here would be to explain that (even in most vanilla chapters if the movies/games/etc are to be believed) the occular implants and helmet huds all show FoF markers with a squad/unit info when in battlefield conditions. Other than that (as far as the models go) 1st company and HQ's get lots of lovely gold trim on their shoulderpads, chest eagles, guns etc. Everyone else gets Silver. I know it's not much, but here's the kicker for me at least. In real world (current) battlefield uniforms, if you're more than a few feet away from someone you can't make out anything other than the colour of their unform and their catseye markers for FoF recognition with IR and NV. From my experience, communication on the battlefield is far more important than staring through the fog of war and a horde of greenskins to try and see if that's a heavy support or a troop marking on that other guy's shoulder pad. Also, I'm really lazy and don't want to paint squad markings on my guys. I know who they are, so I'm pretending they know who they are. I just hope that the fluffy reasons I can come up with make it feasable. As for the chapter badge, All marine's shoulder pads have this camelioline lightning business going on, so if they were (for example) to join a deathwatch squad, they'd just keep the flashy lightning shoulder pad. So technically, that's their chapter badge. But it's not like they have a unique marker. Again this just comes down to me being a lazy idiot who'd rather paint a bunch of flashy lightning all over my dudes than a big old eagle or something. The size of the invading green tide ....*cutting this big chunk out so we don't have to read it a third time*.... but enough to lock down the spaceport until reinforcements could arrive to finally and successfully halt the invasion.- Discrepancy of scale. If one Chapter was wiped out, then small squads would not make any difference. = Yup, well spotted. It looks right in my head but it's badly worded. I'll likely cut it out altogether and put that into a little side-panel or something as a historical battle. Since Exundo, the Storm Bearers have often been wary of the Inquisition...- Why? = You know... I can't remember. I had a good reason for it, but changed my mind while writing and must have missed getting rid of that line. That'll be gone for draft #2, they've got no reason to not get on with the inquisition, except for the closer ties with the AdMech, who (if I'm remembering this rightly) don't get on with the Inkies because of that whole 'machine god' thing. Or am I wrong there? I could be wrong. but have instead created a long-lasting bond of trust with the Adeptus Mechanicus for their unrelenting defence of a forge world.- Why? - Forge World is home of Titan Legion(s), regiments of Skitarii, Ordinatus weapons and Admech Fleet(s), only the most insane or powerful enemy dare to attack such planet. = insane/powerful enemy would be a collection of ork warbands into a Waagh... at least I'd have thought so. I mean, they're only in it for the fighting, and surely a whole load of normal ork armies collected into one massive fleet would be at least enough to make a dent. I should probably include that it's a newly founded forge-world, or something to that effect. I can't imagine that even the orks would head-on attack a titan legion, so I'll have to come up with an excuse for the titans to not have been there in the first place, and a recently established forge world would make sense, since it takes many many years to actually build the titans. As for the why? I'm pretty certain that the AdMech would be quite happy to have a friendly chapter of marines willing to answer any calls to aid they might have, especially if that chapter is also interested in the "quest for knowledge" with the whole STC search. I have to admit that through all this I did forget about the Military arm of the AdMech, so the more I write, the more I'm inclined to have this be a recently established Forge World. The chapter sends a much greater number of its battle-brothers to be trained *chop-choppity let's not read all this again* who view the Adeptus Mechanicus with distrust. - That's fine and dandy, but these benefits are... somewhat one-sided don't you agree? = Yep. But it's right there in the DIY guide that those are the benefits a chapter would likely get for aiding the Admech for thousands of years. The Storm Bearers aren't wary of the followers of the Cult Mechanicus like so many others, so they are more willing to support the AdMech should they ever require it. Plus, actively aiding them in the search for new STC's is always a benefit to the AdMech. My Chapter's not quite as into the whole Priesthood of Mars things as one like the Iron Hands, but it's getting pretty close. Still vanilla, but I field more Techies. It's not like the AdMech just gives them more stuff, but they're more inclined to help a chapter that helps them in return than one who shuns them for their dodgy beliefs. I'd have thought. While the Storm Bearers chapter have been in service for thousands of years, the isolated location of their homeworld of Fulmine coupled with their close ties to the Priesthood of Mars have kept them outside of the majority of the more prominent conflicts in recent history.- The Adeptus Astartes are rapid response force. The moment the traitor governor announce the seclusion from Imperium, his palace get hit by the storm of Drop pods. Isolation by "location" has no bearing on prominence of Chapter. Isolation by "travel" is different matter. - I don't understand how close ties with Admech seclude the Chapter from any conflict. They are Space Marines and they are here to kick ass. = Ah, here must just be badly worded on my part. I never said they weren't an active chapter, just that they weren't prominant. Again, this is me trying to find a reason for why my chapter's been around since M33 but nobody's ever heard of them, trying to fit into existing fluff/canon. So they're not *not* fighting, they're just not fighting in any battles that you'd heard of. While armageddon was getting pounded, for example, the Storm Bearers might have been off stomping on some Tau on a planet in the eastern fringe under rumours that an ancient terran-built bunker had been discovered there after the Tau had been spotted there. Or something. ;) +++++ I've been painting my models this way for quite some time and I just wanted to have a fluffy reason to keep doing it. So some of it's going to be ok, the rest will be junk, but that's where you guys come in! Have a read, and let me know what you think... (be gentle!).- The best way how to create the background for your Chapter is make a image* of typical battle-brother of your Chapter and then write your stuff towards this goal. = Not 100% sure what you were getting at there. But as for drawing a picture or something. I've had this paint scheme for a good few years. I started collecting when I was about 12 or so, and I'm 24 now. After selling off my last army (about 3500 points) and moving country, I picked tactical squad box about 4 years ago, right after settling in here, and began to paint to my same old sceme. It was just about a year ago I figured I should give the poor dudes some fluffy background stuff, more for my own enjoyment than anything else, and after reading that DIY guide about a week ago, I sat down the other day and just kind of poured my brain out over the keyboard. It was just easier to snap a couple of quick phone pictures than subject you to my terrible photoshoppery. Since none of those army painter thingers have a 'now cover all the black bits in lightning' button. :lol: So, a first draft was done and has been BRILLIANTLY dissected - thank you for that! - And now that you've picked out all the particularly terrible parts, I can re-do them and come out with draft #2 soon, I hope. Thanks again for your input, this is a massive help, and exactly the kind of criticism I was after. I think I'd actually prefer to await a response from you to this post before I actually go on and write the second draft, since your input on my rambling ideas here would also be appreciated. Rafmunkur ;) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/230735-ia-storm-bearers-first-draft/#findComment-2776088 Share on other sites More sharing options...
voi shet magir Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 The homeworld does not need any more work, at all. The name does not need any work, the geneseed does not need any work. You are doing great. The paint looks very effective. I like all of it. Salamanders carry plain banners, with all of the detail only visible in infrared. It has been a thing for a long time, and maybe this can explain some of their unit marking. Don't feel any pressing need to specify that though. The admech part is pointless and you should junk all of it as it is. If they have good armor and use heaps of plasma, that is fine. If you make me believe there is a convincing reason out there somewhere, it is better if you do not try to tell me what it actually is and let me interrogate it. It is better for me to want to believe you than for you to tell me that I should. If you tell me the good news that you're getting married, I will believe you. Don't tell me it's to my girlfriend, because I'll probably think no that is not good news, that's horrible news. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/230735-ia-storm-bearers-first-draft/#findComment-2776175 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rafmunkur Posted May 30, 2011 Author Share Posted May 30, 2011 Thanks loads Voi for the input there - I'm glad you like most of what I've got in written out so far. Salamanders carry plain banners, with all of the detail only visible in infrared. It has been a thing for a long time, and maybe this can explain some of their unit marking. Don't feel any pressing need to specify that though. This I didn't know, so that's very cool. I still don't think that explicitly over the top unit markings are needed at all. Take a look at modern militaries. The flag they wear on combat uniforms is about 2inches by 1inch, and rank markings (if they're worn at all) are small, and discreet. As for unit, regiment, etc., they use nothing. You get to know the guys in your squad/team/crew and you know their roles. And officers know who their guys are a lot better than you'd expect, so in the 40k universe, the HUGE Ld score for the SM's has got to count for something in the fluff, no? :lol: The admech part is pointless and you should junk all of it as it is. A good point I suppose. I'd guess I would have to choose between including that or not, but to be honest I'd rather find a good reason for it and include it. We'll see what the second draft brings, when I write it. Thanks again for the C&C, it's much appreciated! Rafmunkur :thanks: Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/230735-ia-storm-bearers-first-draft/#findComment-2776185 Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightrawenII Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 = Primarily I wanted to make a point of them being just far enough from the main forces of the imperium for me to have them a long-established chapter without them ever having been mentioned in any official fluff. The whole "If they're so amazing why have we never heard of them" comes to mind.Fluff-wise we can assume that this means that instead of trying to expand the imperium or joining in with other chapters to assist in their goals, the Storm Bearers would be more focussed on their own long-term objectives. While I haven't got it down in stone yet, since they're a Salamanders successor chapter with ties to the Adeptus Mechanica, it's more than likely they're searching for long-lost STC's or something to that effect. So in short - most of the chapter's actions are 'off the beaten track' so to speak, and they prefer to keep it that way unless otherwise unavoidable. ~ = Ah, here must just be badly worded on my part. I never said they weren't an active chapter, just that they weren't prominant. Again, this is me trying to find a reason for why my chapter's been around since M33 but nobody's ever heard of them, trying to fit into existing fluff/canon. So they're not *not* fighting, they're just not fighting in any battles that you'd heard of. While armageddon was getting pounded, for example, the Storm Bearers might have been off stomping on some Tau on a planet in the eastern fringe under rumours that an ancient terran-built bunker had been discovered there after the Tau had been spotted there. Or something. ;) Lol, I can see where you are coming from... You are not first and most likely not the last. ;) The Liber has this unspoken law that we are going to pretend that your Chapter is - if not famous and prominent - well-known and established, regardless on the fact that we haven't heard about it before. If you look at it from different angle, it actually makes sense: From around thousand of Chapters only very tiny number is "well" known; 1st, 2nd and some special Chapters from other Foundings. Add here that 80% of Imperium's history is pretty much obscured or not (very) detailed and we are at home. = I love "why" since it lets me expand a bit more on my ideas! :PI'm assuming you're questioning why they give up their sons to the gods as opposed to why they band together, since if they didn't work together to reach these areas, it's likely the bugs would manage to eat a whole bunch of them before they got to the altars. Life on Fulmine as a normal tribal is HARD. There's no doubt about it. Admittedly the path to becoming a space marine is just as dangerous if not more so, but the tribes will by this point in their history have legends and stories about how those who can complete the "gods" trial will become one of them. Perhaps the tribals believe this will mean entrance to some sort of 'heaven' or something. What they believe occurs afterwards however is irrelevent, as long as they have the drive and skill to complete the trial and join the chapter. Wouldn't be better to change it akin to Valhalla/Einherjar? = The point of the journey is that the aspirants have to work together, showing teamwork, and in some cases leadership. Only the strongest will survive climbing the deadly cliffs and mountains, only the best warriors will be able to defend the group from the attacking creatures, and only the most stubborn will be able to complete the journey.Basically, it's just really hard, a bunch of them will die, and that will weed out the weakest so that the survivors will have the best chance of living through the whole process of becoming a marine. One would hope. This should be mentioned somewhere in the aticle then. = Ah, here's another one that's basically causing an issue because of how I paint them. It must be remembered that I've been making and painting this army on-and-off for a good few years, just because I enjoy painting them that way. I'm sort of having to bend the fluff around the models a little bit, so there's a few of these areas I need to explain a bit better, or find a suitable-size fluff-hammer to fit a square peg into a round hole.I'm guessing the easiest option here would be to explain that (even in most vanilla chapters if the movies/games/etc are to be believed) the occular implants and helmet huds all show FoF markers with a squad/unit info when in battlefield conditions. Other than that (as far as the models go) 1st company and HQ's get lots of lovely gold trim on their shoulderpads, chest eagles, guns etc. Everyone else gets Silver. I know it's not much, but here's the kicker for me at least. In real world (current) battlefield uniforms, if you're more than a few feet away from someone you can't make out anything other than the colour of their unform and their catseye markers for FoF recognition with IR and NV. From my experience, communication on the battlefield is far more important than staring through the fog of war and a horde of greenskins to try and see if that's a heavy support or a troop marking on that other guy's shoulder pad. Also, I'm really lazy and don't want to paint squad markings on my guys. I know who they are, so I'm pretending they know who they are. I just hope that the fluffy reasons I can come up with make it feasable. As for the chapter badge, All marine's shoulder pads have this camelioline lightning business going on, so if they were (for example) to join a deathwatch squad, they'd just keep the flashy lightning shoulder pad. So technically, that's their chapter badge. But it's not like they have a unique marker. Again this just comes down to me being a lazy idiot who'd rather paint a bunch of flashy lightning all over my dudes than a big old eagle or something. Lol, I thought so. :P I was talking about identification in general. The "squad over here" is no good. ;) = You know... I can't remember. I had a good reason for it, but changed my mind while writing and must have missed getting rid of that line. That'll be gone for draft #2, they've got no reason to not get on with the inquisition, except for the closer ties with the AdMech, who (if I'm remembering this rightly) don't get on with the Inkies because of that whole 'machine god' thing. Or am I wrong there? I could be wrong. The Omnissiah is another facet of Emperor and while it sets them apart from the fold, the Inquisition should be cool with that. Adeptus Ministorum might be more "die hard" in this regards. As for the why? I'm pretty certain that the AdMech would be quite happy to have a friendly chapter of marines willing to answer any calls to aid they might have, especially if that chapter is also interested in the "quest for knowledge" with the whole STC search.~ = Yep. But it's right there in the DIY guide that those are the benefits a chapter would likely get for aiding the Admech for thousands of years. The Storm Bearers aren't wary of the followers of the Cult Mechanicus like so many others, so they are more willing to support the AdMech should they ever require it. Plus, actively aiding them in the search for new STC's is always a benefit to the AdMech. My Chapter's not quite as into the whole Priesthood of Mars things as one like the Iron Hands, but it's getting pretty close. Still vanilla, but I field more Techies. It's not like the AdMech just gives them more stuff, but they're more inclined to help a chapter that helps them in return than one who shuns them for their dodgy beliefs. I'd have thought. Again, this should be somewhere in the article. = Not 100% sure what you were getting at there. But as for drawing a picture or something. I've had this paint scheme for a good few years. I started collecting when I was about 12 or so, and I'm 24 now. After selling off my last army (about 3500 points) and moving country, I picked tactical squad box about 4 years ago, right after settling in here, and began to paint to my same old sceme. It was just about a year ago I figured I should give the poor dudes some fluffy background stuff, more for my own enjoyment than anything else, and after reading that DIY guide about a week ago, I sat down the other day and just kind of poured my brain out over the keyboard. It was just easier to snap a couple of quick phone pictures than subject you to my terrible photoshoppery. Since none of those army painter thingers have a 'now cover all the black bits in lightning' button. :P Hm, well. During their first (second, third, fourth... and some people are just incorrigible :angry: ) attempt, the most DIYers tend to focus on fancy stuff, special characters and/or unique formations. The problem is that Chapter is not made of these things (alone). In fact, these things are just the imaginary cherry, what should be the aim and focus of DIYer is the backbone of every Chapter, the humble battle-brother. When you think about your Chapter, think how is the battle-brother like, not the Captain-fancy-name. Cheers, NightrawenII. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/230735-ia-storm-bearers-first-draft/#findComment-2776877 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Octavulg Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 Bigger paragraph breaks and separating out into sections would benefit this enormously. It's not uninteresting right now, but I'm not getting much of a sense of what the chapter's like in and of themselves. What do they believe? What do they value? What do they condemn? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/230735-ia-storm-bearers-first-draft/#findComment-2778048 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tesla Kiwi Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 I've never done a IA chapter (although i will in the near future) so i dont want to comment on your fluff, and i just wanted to say SWEET PAINTJOB!!! im loving the lightning, looks really impressive Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/230735-ia-storm-bearers-first-draft/#findComment-2778447 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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