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Angels of Oblivion


Lynnean

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well, here they are:

Chapter: Angels of Oblivion

 

Chapter info:

- Creation:

created in the 20th Founding; around 800.M35

their Geneseed is that of the Scions of Sanguinius. no real close relations with their parent chapter.

 

- Famous Achievements: (my own games intergrated at the beginning of M39, starting at the 1st of june 2011, and counting days as years from then on. the M41 events are still made up though)

666 M36: The First war in Heaven: Captain Lucifer and his company Fall to the Dreaded powers of Chaos. The chapter tries to Fight off the traitors; but there were Survivors; and they fled, with Battle Barge ...., to an Unknown place. Captain Lucifer was Mortally wounded by Principalty Michael; but survived, as the Dark powers saw it was not his time yet. Lucifer had killed many marines in his Betrayal.

 

700 M36: Lucifer decides to attack the Beliris System, for they were running low on supplies. during that same raid, he Slaughtered 10 million innocent people, and the local PDF. the Planetary leaders Asked The Angels of Oblivion for aid, but they were too late. when they arrived, Lucifer was long gone, leaving the Trail of Blood behind.

 

876 M36: Lucifer Returns once again. slaying another population, leaving them all but exterminated. the Angels of Oblivion are again too late to track him down.

 

101.M37: Assault of Lucifers Warband on an Imperial Transport. Inquisitors blamed the Angels of Oblivion for it. The chapter pleaded it was Lucifer's Warband, but the Inquisition didn't believe them. the Chapter got Declared Excommunicatus Traitoris until they could bring the Head of Lucifer to the Ordo Hereticus; but all traces of the Chaos warband were Vanquished.

 

250 M37: Lucifer slaughters a rather small Eldar Craftworld. when he had slain the Autarch in a 1-on-1 duel, he finally got rewarded for his terrible deeds, and finally got Ascended to the Daemonhood.

 

256 M37: the Chapter has difficult to survive. being chased by the Inquisitorial fleet didn't help it either. also, the Flaw was taking it's toll.

succeeding to escape the Inquisitorial fleet; they find an old lost colony, which has been cut off since the Age of Strife. contacting the planetary leaders, they are welcomed as new rulers. the legends of old of the colony had tales of giant warriors in large armour which would deliver them from evil. using these legends, the Angels of Oblivion acquire command, and establish themselves on one of the planets, starting to build a Fortress-monastery, if the colony was lost for so long, the inquisition wouldn't find the chapter here as well.

 

300 M37: Principaltie Michael, along with the Arch Angels, find an abandoned imperial transport fleet. sign show it was a slaughtering, but no resources were taken. Michael decides to take the fleet with him, and the Chapter's fleet is reinforced with those ships. they prefer to use those ships for missions; and keep the Chapter's original, and easily recognisable, fleet at bay at their System.

 

666 M37: Second War in heaven: Lucifer had Achieved the rank of Daemonhood; and saw his chance clean to destroy it's parent chapter. he tried to lure them over, but they resisted. Lucifer attacks the Angels of oblivion's fleet, with Aid of Chaos Daemons.

during the war, the Inquisition turns up, having traced the last warp-jumps and other warp activity of the last known-place of the chapter, and monitors the war. there to annihilate and vanish all traces of the chapter, they now aid the loyalists against the traitors.

The war was won, but none of the High-Daemons was found.

Lucifer fled with his Cohorts once again.

the inquisition now sees it's own faults, and restores the chapter to it's former glory.

many of the nearby systems were Conquered in service of the imperium, but command was given to the Angels of Oblivion.

Inquisitorial fleet leaves, but will maintain a close watch on the chapter.

PDF force may now be risen; and so they did. the Mechanicum is willing to support the Chapter once more.

 

275 M38: the Chase: the Chapter dispatches the 9th Company to find lucifer, and exterminate him. Principaltie Azrael has the command.

 

380 M38: Principaltie Azrael finds out the Raids Lucifer makes are only a quest for survival, as the Red thirst overcame them. they seem to control it somehow by drinking the blood of their enemies. this is Valuable information for the Chorus, and it causes concern. what if this is a cure?

 

384 M38: Rogue traders enter the system. quickly surrounded by the chapter's fleet, they have the choice: or leave, or give in to the chapter.

the rogue traders, seeing no way out, decide to make a deal with the chapter. in exchange for military defence, a safe-home, and food & supplies they will lend their abilities to the chapter. the Chorus decides to agree with this, and thus they form an alliance.

 

390 M38: Rogue Trader captain Ezeral hears of the so-called ''cure''. he remembers something about a nearby planet, where wild Giant Bats live. research is started, for there must be a way to beat the flaw. also, old remains of documents are found on the planet <...>, giving information about "blood Rituals to please the gods".

 

513 M38: the Rogue traders set out, the Chorus asked them to acquire STC sheets, by trading or other means. of course, this is kept in the inner circles. the reason for all others outside of the Chorus is to to act as messengers for the chapter to a nearby PDF force.

 

910 M38: full combat strength is finally reached again, and, indeed, the Blood Rituals seem to work. although it is not the blood of civilians, but that of Grox, the main food supply from a nearby Agri-world. Red Thirst seems to lessen, although the Black Rage still keeps bugging the chapter. there seems to be one problem: the new recruits, testing the "cure", become too agressive, and the drinking of blood seems to stimulate the Black rage. once again; there is no cure for the flaw.

 

001 M39: PDF at full strength. Chapter decides to move the chapter forge from the fortress monastery to the next planet in line to have a more wide-spread production of Vehicles and armaments. more and more the system becomes a self-sufficient economic system. Chapter also instructs "militia" units at the Agri-cultural planet.

"militia" units are units of normal peasants, led by a Preacher or Cleric, lightly armed units for supporting the PDF forces. this is also a way to suppress riots, and creating Unity on the planet. Veteran <...> is send to the planet, and is now the ruler, and may take his squad with him, to be his advisors and companions. Veteran <...> (now Lord <...>) keeps elections, for a single individual to be chosen as the speaker of the people. that single individual, named <...>, is gifted with a present from the population: the Sword <...>, an Ancient Artifact found in the ruins of the old cities. The other planetary rulers consist of the planet's best smith, the planet's best warriors, and the planet's most famous Cleric and Mystic.

off-planet members of this organ are an Astropath, a Weapon-expert, indoctrined when the chapter conquered the first planet, and an Elder, an experienced trainer and skilled warrior who keeps an eye on new recruits for the PDF. Also, Ancient <...>, referred dreadnought of the chapter, is added as an advisor, for he has many years of experience as a captain of old.

aided by this advise-organ, Lord <...> keeps the peace in place, providing food for the rest of his chapter.

 

001 M39: Strike Force set to investigate romours on an ancient relic on the world of <...>.

once there, the only relic to be found is a tyranid investation. with half a battle company lost, they abandon the world and bomb it with the Warp-lances from the strike cruiser. also a request for a real exterminatus is sent to the Inquisition.

 

004 M39: Dispatch of Strikeforces to negotiate with the Adeptus Mechanicus. the Chapter wants to manufacture bigger scaled mechanisms of their own, since they can only produce Rhino's (and it's variants), Landraiders (and it's variants) Storm Ravens and Thunderhawks on there own.

also a small scale of producing Chimera's for the PDF, but they want to acquire more STC's so they can produce Leman Russ Battletanks, or even bigger tanks like the Almighty Baneblade or Stormsword.

next to that, a Dispatch force of 100 Marines commanded by Principaltie Uriel is sent out to investigate nearby systems abandoned by the imperium, hoping to aqcuire old STC's, or old Relics.

on the same time, Investigation parties are instructed to investigate the old tombs beneath their own worlds, in search of relics and such.

only time can tell if it''s worth the while.

 

013 M39: Space hulk inbound! an old space hulk bounds to crash into the planet. the chapter dispatches some ships to act as it's brakes, slowing the large hulk down. 1st company is asked to clean the hulk. besides a few genestealer inhabitants, it is as good as empty. cleaning the hulk can begin, for future use in the chapter's fleet.

 

689 M41: Tau fleet signalled in the system. the chapter hid it's fleet, and found out they were just trespassing. Vox contact was opened after they left the system, but no responses.

 

690 M41: 7th company, during exploration of a nearby system, stumbled upon the earlier spotted Tau Fleet, and all but obliterated it.

all kinds of tau technology still in tact are taken to the Chapter's home for Expectation, or even for their own use. high priority: researching the Battlesuit Technology for own use, but no results yet.

 

999 M41: The Darkest Hour: the Blood Angels are caught in a war on at least two fronts against the Hive Fleet Leviathan, and the Daemon Army of Ka'Bandha. Dante makes swift preparations, and sends requests for aid. and so the Angels of Oblivion also heed the call.

First despatch parties also report that there is a high chance of encountering Lucifer there.

reading the Rogue fleet, preparing the whole chapter, recalling the Hunt, and even reading transport ships to transport the Milita forces of the

Agri-cultural world. Also, the Secret Experiments are brought to light for the first time. the Full first company is readied in a new kind of armour and weaponry, wich seem to be an improved version of the Tau Battlesuit Technology.

Fleet prepared, arms readied, they go, to save their parent chapter, wipe out lucifer's arms and restore their reputation for once and for all.

 

- Homeworld:

they had a Homeworld. but when they had been Declared Excommunicatus they fled, leaving it behind.

then they were fleet based, with the Battle Barge ''the Oblivion'' as Flagship.

after a lot of fleeing they stationed themselves in the <no name yet> sector, with the biggest planet as their new homeworld, calling it Oblivion, after their Flagship wich has guided them through so much pain.

Oblivion has a terra-like climate and a thick atmosphere, and is breathable for normal humans. only in the desert parts mere humans have difficulty to survive, because the temperature can leap to enormous heights and the amount of Oxygen will drop to dangerousely low amounts.

this planet is located in the Northern part of the Segmentum Ultima.

Oblivion is a Feudal world, and before the arrival of the Angels they were completely isolated, surrounded by the fear for the Barghesi.

this makes perfect recruits for the chapter, because the new recruits know how to work with primitive firearms.

regular Shootout tournaments are held amongst the civilians, and the best gunners are send to the chapter's recruiting-grounds.

 

- Combat Doctrine:

Fast, Rapid, Mechanized strikes into the heart of the Enemy. they Excel at Close Quarter fights, taking the Fight to their enemies in hand-to-hand combat. extensive use of close-quarter firearms, and take ferocious charges after that.

As a successor to the Blood Angels this will be of no surprise, although they seme to enjoy the bloodshed.

The Angels prefer thunderhawk/stormraven insertions, so drop-pod assault are less common then in other chapters.

every weapon, armour, or whatever is theirs that becomes broken or destroyed in battle is retrieved, even if it is beyond repairs.

they are still leaving no trace after their battles.

also, if the enemy has dropped still usefull wargear or abandoned armour, they will scavenge it, and repair and redevote it to their own means.

at least, as far as it can be seen as "non-heretical" of course, they don't want another case of being suspected from heresy by the inquisition, so they won't leave any trace of the former owners on it.

The imperial guard have reported multiple encounters of Angels "playing" with teh gore of their enemies, although no data-pics exist of this, so is considered a foul rumour.

 

- Organisation:

they adhere very close to the Codex Astartes, except they don't trust one man to lead the Chapter. instead, they formed ''The Chorus''. this existed of all 10 Captains, together with the advisors <as in Fleet commander, Lord Apothecary, High Chaplain, Chief Librarian, Logister, Master of the Armoury and Rogue captain>

Scavenge battlefields for recycling of parts. turns out to be very effective during Wars with Tau fleets.

 

ranks:

Dominions: the overall title members of the Chorus achieve.

Cherubims: the chapter's name for Apothecaries

Seraphim: the Chapter's reclusiam.

Exousies (or powers, depends on the source): librarians

Virtues: the Members of the Armoury

Thrones (or Ophanim): Logisticiam

Arch Angels: the name of the First company. a rank given to all veterans of the Chapter.

Captains:

- Principaltie Michael (1st company/arch angels)

- principaltie Gabriel (2nd company)

- principaltie Raphael (3rd Company)

- principaltie Uriel (4th company)

- principaltie Sealtiel (5th company)

- principaltie Jegudiel (6th Company)

- principaltie Barachiel (7th Company)

- principaltie Jeremiel (8th Company)

- principaltie Azrael (9th Company)

- the 10th company is overseen by Michael and the Thrones.

 

- Beliefs:

the Chapter believes they are Sanguinius' chosen to beat the flaw, and desperately try to do so.

Killing the traitors of Lucifer is believed to be a step further to find the cure.

next to the usual "find the cure" thing among the scions of Sanguinius, they are not very likely to appear on the battlefield where Inquisitorial troops are present, except the Ordo Xenos, with which they would like to coöperate, because of their knowledge about Xenos.

 

- Battlecry:

"For the Emperor and Sanguinius, Into Oblivion!"

 

C&C?

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Heavily influenced by Judaeo-Christain Creationism smacks me in the face...

 

You got excommunictaed? And...now you are not? You should all be dead by now. The =][= doesnt let many rouge chapters live long.

 

Giant Bats? terraforming for a forgeworld? Trained by your marines? NO. The Adeptus Mechanicus are the ONLY guys in the Imperium who can do that. They train your TechMarines and new Techpriests. They wouldnt put a forge world in your system without a good reason. Also, Bats? Thats waaaay to ridiculous...

 

Dante's battle...is this established fluff??

Heavily influenced by Judaeo-Christain Creationism smacks me in the face...

 

You got excommunictaed? And...now you are not? You should all be dead by now. The =][= doesnt let many rouge chapters live long.

 

Giant Bats? terraforming for a forgeworld? Trained by your marines? NO. The Adeptus Mechanicus are the ONLY guys in the Imperium who can do that. They train your TechMarines and new Techpriests. They wouldnt put a forge world in your system without a good reason. Also, Bats? Thats waaaay to ridiculous...

 

Dante's battle...is this established fluff??

yeah, Dante's battle is in the C:BA.

i wasn't sure on teh bats either, btu some guys told me to push it through anyway :teehee:

if you read,

the Inquisition couldn't catch them, still working more of that out.

Excommunicatus was reviewed when the Warband of Lucius assaulted them,

and spies of the Inquisition were present,

still waiting on the arrival of the Inquisition Warfleet, or something like that?

didn't do enough research on how the Techmarines/techpriest stuff works.

with the forge world i was more aiming at a planet where the chapter builds it forges, and builds it's vehicles (and that of it's PDF),

not a Mechanicus planet.

Terraformation isn't that weird though.

No, ahk, not a forge world...ummm, they usually have the forges in the Fortress-monastery and the adeptus mechanicus build the tanks. For Space Marines and the PDF.

 

Yea....drop the bats...

 

Still not sure on the whole excommunication thing, you probably should have reported the betrayal, so they should be on the look out for him...

 

But, im not knowledgeable enough aboutthe Inquisiton.

 

Maybe drop the Dante battle...unless it says he got all the successors together for a fight. Because otherwise its name dropping. May i suggest you read the guide to DIY chapters in the sticky at the top of this forum?

 

Thats all :teehee:

No, ahk, not a forge world...ummm, they usually have the forges in the Fortress-monastery and the adeptus mechanicus build the tanks. For Space Marines and the PDF.

 

Yea....drop the bats...

 

Still not sure on the whole excommunication thing, you probably should have reported the betrayal, so they should be on the look out for him...

 

But, im not knowledgeable enough aboutthe Inquisiton.

 

Maybe drop the Dante battle...unless it says he got all the successors together for a fight. Because otherwise its name dropping. May i suggest you read the guide to DIY chapters in the sticky at the top of this forum?

 

Thats all :)

i already read that,

used that as a base xp

yeah, all successors were there for the battle. just search for it :P

the Admech doesn't build the tanks, that they do themselves, as far as i know, but i could be wrong.

yeah forges are normally in the fortress monastery, but since this chapter wants to grow it's PDF behind normal sizes (so they grow out until a guard army), they decided to make more forges on the planet (?)

 

Excommunicatus thing is indeed a very difficult part, could change it indeed to have them report the rebellion, butthey wouldn't have a reason to move then, and a lot of the fluff would disappear.

  • 2 weeks later...
I might consider doing Famous Achievements in more of a story/history format. I like the idea, You have a lot of meat in the history but everything else does seem to be fairly thin. i would like to see the beliefs section expanded becuase with a rouge loyal legion they need to have a reason not to fall to chaos.
I'd suggest removing some of the more obvious references. Definitely rename Lucifer to be something else. You also might want to rethink having the chapter use reverse engineered Tau battlesuit technology, that sort of thing never goes down well with most people.
On renaming, Lucedio is the Italian form of Lucifer. Lucious might work as well. Aberash, Argider, Nurzhan, and Zia, might also work.

as can be seen,

i haven't really been busy with the names yet.

the system lacks a name,

and so do some other things.

 

as per the story-like telling,

yeah, good point there.

 

and indeed,

i am going to work on the beliefs and stuff :)

 

and about the reverse engineering of tau stuff, yeah, that's true, but i saw the Dornian Heresy Ultramarines,

and i just fell in love with their armour and weaponery editing, so sorry x)

 

hold on tight for the update ;D

  • 2 weeks later...

Chapter: Angels of Oblivion

 

Chapter info:

- Creation:

created in the 20th Founding; around 800.M35

their Geneseed is that of the Scions of Sanguinius. no real close relations with their parent chapter.

 

- Famous Achievements: see up above in this thread

 

- Homeworld:

they had a Homeworld. but when they had been Declared Excommunicatus they fled, leaving it behind.

then they were fleet based, with the Battle Barge ''the Oblivion'' as Flagship.

after a lot of fleeing they stationed themselves in the <no name yet> sector, with the biggest planet as their new homeworld, calling it Oblivion, after their Flagship wich has guided them through so much pain.

Oblivion has a terra-like climate and a thick atmosphere, and is breathable for normal humans. only in the desert parts mere humans have difficulty to survive, because the temperature can leap to enormous heights and the amount of Oxygen will drop to dangerousely low amounts.

this planet is located in the Northern part of the Segmentum Ultima.

Oblivion is a Feudal world, and before the arrival of the Angels they were completely isolated, surrounded by the fear for the Barghesi.

this makes perfect recruits for the chapter, because the new recruits know how to work with primitive firearms.

regular Shootout tournaments are held amongst the civilians, and the best gunners are send to the chapter's recruiting-grounds.

 

- Combat Doctrine:

Fast, Rapid, Mechanized strikes into the heart of the Enemy. they Excel at Close Quarter fights, taking the Fight to their enemies in hand-to-hand combat. extensive use of close-quarter firearms, and take ferocious charges after that.

As a successor to the Blood Angels this will be of no surprise, although they seme to enjoy the bloodshed.

The Angels prefer thunderhawk/stormraven insertions, so drop-pod assault are less common then in other chapters.

every weapon, armour, or whatever is theirs that becomes broken or destroyed in battle is retrieved, even if it is beyond repairs.

they are still leaving no trace after their battles.

also, if the enemy has dropped still usefull wargear or abandoned armour, they will scavenge it, and repair and redevote it to their own means.

at least, as far as it can be seen as "non-heretical" of course, they don't want another case of being suspected from heresy by the inquisition, so they won't leave any trace of the former owners on it.

The imperial guard have reported multiple encounters of Angels "playing" with teh gore of their enemies, although no data-pics exist of this, so is considered a foul rumour.

 

- Organisation:

they adhere very close to the Codex Astartes, except they don't trust one man to lead the Chapter. instead, they formed ''The Chorus''. this existed of all 10 Captains, together with the advisors <as in Fleet commander, Lord Apothecary, High Chaplain, Chief Librarian, Logister and Master of the Armoury.

Scavenge battlefields for recycling of parts. turns out to be very effective during Wars with Tau fleets.

 

ranks:

Dominions: the overall title members of the Chorus achieve.

Cherubims: the chapter's name for Apothecaries

Seraphim: the Chapter's reclusiam.

Exousies (or powers, depends on the source): librarians

Virtues: the Members of the Armoury

Thrones (or Ophanim): Logisticiam

Arch Angels: the name of the First company. a rank given to all veterans of the Chapter.

Captains:

- Principaltie Michael (1st company/arch angels)

- principaltie Gabriel (2nd company)

- principaltie Raphael (3rd Company)

- principaltie Uriel (4th company)

- principaltie Sealtiel (5th company)

- principaltie Jegudiel (6th Company)

- principaltie Barachiel (7th Company)

- principaltie Jeremiel (8th Company)

- principaltie Azrael (9th Company)

- the 10th company is overseen by Michael and the Thrones.

 

- Beliefs:

the Chapter believes they are Sanguinius' chosen to beat the flaw, and desperately try to do so.

Killing the traitors of Lucifer is believed to be a step further to find the cure.

next to the usual "find the cure" thing among the scions of Sanguinius, they are not very likely to appear on the battlefield where Inquisitorial troops are present, except the Ordo Xenos, with which they would like to coöperate, because of their knowledge about Xenos.

 

- Battlecry:

"For the Emperor and Sanguinius, Into Oblivion!"

 

 

a small update, for i haven't had much time to work in it because of the exams i had.

still, C&C would be welcome

I think its still a bit suspect that they have been Excommunicated, but now the =I= have said "Oh sorry our mistake" Perhaps in desperation the Chapter placed the blame upon one of their Companies and offered them up to the Inquisition in a desperate bid to clear their name? But at the end of the day its your chapter :)
I think its still a bit suspect that they have been Excommunicated, but now the =I= have said "Oh sorry our mistake" Perhaps in desperation the Chapter placed the blame upon one of their Companies and offered them up to the Inquisition in a desperate bid to clear their name? But at the end of the day its your chapter :)

well, of course the inquisition is hunting them,

but since they've gone chaos, just like the Astral claws, they can't really seem to fin them either.

maybe they hide inside the maelstrom as well?

  • 2 months later...
updated in first post, comments?

Well, the references are really cringe-worthy.

 

I'm not going to comment the notable achievements, because they are one big mess of fluff-heresy, crazy ideas and bad grammar.

 

For the rest:

Homeworld:

then they were fleet based, with the Battle Barge ''the Oblivion'' as Flagship.

after a lot of fleeing they stationed themselves in the <no name yet> sector, with the biggest planet as their new homeworld, calling it Oblivion, after their Flagship wich has guided them through so much pain.

- The Angels of Oblivion, traveling in the ship Oblivion, find themselves a new homeworld and decide to call it a Oblivion. Your naming methods are unusually original, that's for sure. -_-

 

only in the desert parts mere humans have difficulty to survive, because the temperature can leap to enormous heights and the amount of Oxygen will drop to dangerousely low amounts.

- In desert is survival difficult by default.

 

Combat Doctrine

they Excel at Close Quarter fights, taking the Fight to their enemies in hand-to-hand combat. extensive use of close-quarter firearms, and take ferocious charges after that.

- Your Chapter recruits sharpshooters, but your marines excell at close quarter fighting, hmmm...

 

they are still leaving no trace after their battles.

- Define "trace", smoldering crates and corpses are sort of clue. ^_^

 

+++++

Overall: They are "just" another Blood Angels successor.

The problem with Lucifer is nice, but as far as I can tell, it really doesn't affect your Chapter.

And the techno-heresy the Chapter has commited is enough to declare them Excomunicate Traitoris, again.

 

 

Cheers, NightrawenII.

updated in first post, comments?

Well, the references are really cringe-worthy.

 

I'm not going to comment the notable achievements, because they are one big mess of fluff-heresy, crazy ideas and bad grammar.

the bad grammar could be because i'm only 17 years old, and of dutch origin, but i'll fix the grammar later. fluff heresy and crazy ideas? maybe i should keep them excommunicatus, and fix a lot in there indeed, some ideas were just ideas, like you pointed out, and i just wanted to see if it was viable, but since it apparently isn't, i'll change it completely, still the same chapter and main theme, but maybe a lot less... eggs in one basket?

 

For the rest:

Homeworld:

then they were fleet based, with the Battle Barge ''the Oblivion'' as Flagship.

after a lot of fleeing they stationed themselves in the <no name yet> sector, with the biggest planet as their new homeworld, calling it Oblivion, after their Flagship wich has guided them through so much pain.

- The Angels of Oblivion, traveling in the ship Oblivion, find themselves a new homeworld and decide to call it a Oblivion. Your naming methods are unusually original, that's for sure. -_-

ah, i see, yeah i was afraid of that. maybe the flagship should be lost while fleeing or something, and renaming the new homeworld as a memorial to the ship?

 

only in the desert parts mere humans have difficulty to survive, because the temperature can leap to enormous heights and the amount of Oxygen will drop to dangerousely low amounts.

- In desert is survival difficult by default.

that's true, you got a point there, i need to rephrase that.

 

Combat Doctrine

they Excel at Close Quarter fights, taking the Fight to their enemies in hand-to-hand combat. extensive use of close-quarter firearms, and take ferocious charges after that.

- Your Chapter recruits sharpshooters, but your marines excell at close quarter fighting, hmmm...

oops, i guess i didn't pay anough attention there ;)

 

they are still leaving no trace after their battles.

- Define "trace", smoldering crates and corpses are sort of clue. ^_^

no trace of the chapter, nothing that could indicate that they were there, as in: no fallen warriors, no piece of armour, or something like that?

 

+++++

Overall: They are "just" another Blood Angels successor.

The problem with Lucifer is nice, but as far as I can tell, it really doesn't affect your Chapter.

And the techno-heresy the Chapter has commited is enough to declare them Excomunicate Traitoris, again.

how could i improve the affection of lucifer on the chapter? and the techno-heresy has been kept secret, but i think i'll rewrite that part and keep them excommunicatus

 

Cheers, NightrawenII.

 

well,

yeah, got a lot of work to do i think ;)

Chapter: Angels of Oblivion

 

Chapter info:

- Creation:

created in the 20th Founding; around 800.M35

their Geneseed is that of the Scions of Sanguinius. no real close relations with their parent chapter.

Apart from the Flaw, the chapter's Geneseed is stable, and show no signs of any corruption.

created for keeping Ork Waaagh!'s at bay. therefore, the Blood Angels Geneseed seemed the most appropriate, ferocious and hardhitting in close quarters, and therefore they descend from the line of the Flesh Tearers.

were created with a different chapter name, but they renamed themselves after the Excommunicatus.

 

- Famous Achievements: (my own games intergrated at the beginning of M39, starting at the 1st of june 2011, and counting days as years from then on. the M41 events are still made up though)

666 M36: The First war in Heaven: Captain Lucifer and his company Fall to the Dreaded powers of Chaos. The chapter tries to Fight off the traitors; but there were Survivors; and they fled, with Battle Barge ...., to an Unknown place. Captain Lucifer was Mortally wounded by Principalty Michael; but survived, as the Dark powers saw it was not his time yet. Lucifer had killed many marines in his Betrayal.

 

700 M36: Lucifer decides to attack the Beliris System, for they were running low on supplies. during that same raid, he Slaughtered 10 million innocent people, and the local PDF. the Planetary leaders Asked The Angels of Oblivion for aid, but they were too late. when they arrived, Lucifer was long gone, leaving the Trail of Blood behind.

 

876 M36: Lucifer Returns once again. slaying another population, leaving them all but exterminated. the Angels of Oblivion are again too late to track him down.

 

101.M37: Assault of Lucifers Warband on an Imperial Transport. Inquisitors blamed the Angels of Oblivion for it. The chapter pleaded it was Lucifer's Warband, but the Inquisition didn't believe them. the Chapter got Declared Excommunicatus Traitoris until they could bring the Head of Lucifer to the Ordo Hereticus; but all traces of the Chaos warband were Vanquished.

 

250 M37: Lucifer slaughters a rather small Eldar Craftworld. when he had slain the Autarch in a 1-on-1 duel, he finally got rewarded for his terrible deeds, and finally got Ascended to the Daemonhood.

 

256 M37: the Chapter has difficult to survive. being chased by the Inquisitorial fleet didn't help it either. the Flaw was taking it's toll as well.

Succeeding to escape the Inquisitorial fleet, the chapter finds an old lost colony, which has been cut off since the Age of Strife. contacting the planetary leaders, they are welcomed as new rulers. the legends of old of the colony had tales of giant warriors in large armour which would deliver them from evil. using these legends, the Angels of Oblivion acquire command, and establish themselves on one of the planets, starting to build a Fortress-monastery, if the colony was lost for so long, the inquisition wouldn't find the chapter here as well.

 

300 M37: Principaltie Michael, along with the Arch Angels, find an abandoned imperial transport fleet. sign show it was a slaughtering, but no resources were taken. Michael decides to take the fleet with him, and the Chapter's fleet is reinforced with those ships. they prefer to use those ships for missions; and keep the Chapter's original, and easily recognisable, fleet at bay at their System.

 

666 M37: Second War in heaven: Lucifer had Achieved the rank of Daemonhood; and saw his chance clean to destroy it's parent chapter. he tried to lure them over, but they resisted. Lucifer attacks the Angels of oblivion's fleet, with Aid of Chaos Daemons.

The war was won, but none of the High-Daemons was found or reported dead.

Lucifer fled with his Cohorts once again.

it was right there and then the Angels decided to build their own imperium.

 

275 M38: the Chase: the Chapter dispatches the 9th Company to find lucifer, and exterminate him. Principaltie Azrael has the command.

 

380 M38: Principaltie Azrael finds out the Raids Lucifer makes are only a quest for survival, as the Red thirst overcame them. they seem to control it somehow by drinking the blood of their enemies. this is Valuable information for the Chorus, and it causes concern. what if this is a cure?

 

384 M38: Rogue traders enter the system. quickly surrounded by the chapter's fleet, they have the choice: or to die, or give in to the chapter.

the rogue traders, seeing no way out, decide to make a deal with the chapter. in exchange for military defence, a safe-home, and food & supplies they will lend their abilities to the chapter. the Chorus decides to agree with this, and thus they form an alliance.

 

390 M38: Rogue Trader captain Ezeral hears of the so-called ''cure''. he remembers something about a nearby planet, where wild Giant Bats live. research is started, for there must be a way to beat the flaw. also, old remains of documents are found on the planet <...>, giving information about "blood rituals to please the gods".

 

513 M38: the Rogue traders set out, the Chorus asked them to acquire STC sheets, by trading or other means. of course, this is kept in the inner circles. the reason for all others outside of the Chorus is to to act as messengers for the chapter to a nearby PDF force.

 

910 M38: full combat strength is finally reached again, and, indeed, the Blood Rituals seem to work. although it is not the blood of civilians, but that of Grox, the main food supply from a nearby conquered Agri-world. Red Thirst seems to lessen, although the Black Rage still keeps bugging the chapter. there seems to be one problem: the new recruits, testing the "cure", become too agressive, and the drinking of blood seems to stimulate the Black rage. once again; there is no cure for the flaw.

 

001 M39: PDF at full strength. Chapter decides to move the chapter forge from the fortress monastery to the next planet in line to have a more wide-spread production of Vehicles and armaments. more and more the system becomes a self-sufficient economic system.

 

001 M39: Strike Force set to investigate romours on an ancient relic on the world of <...>.

once there, the only relic to be found is a tyranid investation. with half a battle company lost, they abandon the world and bomb it with the Warp-lances from the strike cruiser. a distress signal is send from the planet, hoping it would cost the imperium some of it's expendable troops.

 

004 M39: A dispatch force of 100 Marines commanded by Principaltie Uriel is sent out to investigate nearby systems abandoned by the imperium, hoping to aqcuire old STC's, or old Relics.

on the same time, Investigation parties are instructed to investigate the old tombs beneath their own worlds, in search of relics and such.

only time can tell if it''s worth the while.

 

013 M39: Space hulk inbound! an old space hulk bounds to crash into the planet. the chapter dispatches some ships to act as it's brakes, slowing the large hulk down. 1st company is asked to clean the hulk. besides a few genestealer inhabitants, it is as good as empty. cleaning the hulk can begin, for future use in the chapter's fleet.

 

689 M41: Tau fleet signalled in the system. the chapter hid it's fleet, and found out they were just trespassing. Vox contact was opened after they left the system, but no responses.

 

690 M41: 7th company, during exploration of a nearby system, stumbled upon the earlier spotted Tau Fleet, and all but obliterated it.

all kinds of tau technology still in tact are taken to the Chapter's home for Expectation, or even for their own use. high priority: researching the Battlesuit Technology for own use, but no results yet.

 

999 M41: The Darkest Hour: the Blood Angels are caught in a war on at least two fronts against the Hive Fleet Leviathan, and the Daemon Army of Ka'Bandha. Dante makes swift preparations, and sends requests for aid. and so the Angels of Oblivion also heed the call.

First despatch parties also report that there is a high chance of encountering Lucifer there.

reading the Rogue fleet, preparing the whole chapter, recalling the Hunt, and even reading transport ships to transport the Milita forces of the

Agri-cultural world. Also, the Secret Experiments are brought to light for the first time. the Full first company is readied in a new kind of armour and weaponry, wich seem to be an improved version of the Tau Battlesuit Technology.

Fleet prepared, arms readied, they go, to save their parent chapter, wipe out lucifer's arms and restore their reputation for once and for all.

 

- Homeworld:

their former homeworld had been abandoned, for they were declared Excommunicatus Traitoris.

the Chapter established themselves in a lost and forgotten system, and they named the main planet after their lost battle barge, called "Oblivion".

Oblivion has a terra-like climate and a thick atmosphere, and is breathable for normal humans, and is located in the Northern part of the Segmentum Ultima.

Oblivion is a Feudal world, and before the arrival of the Angels they were completely isolated, surrounded by the fear for the Barghesi.

this makes perfect recruits for the chapter, because the new recruits know how to work with primitive firearms and brute weapons.

regular tournaments are held, sometimes with firearms, others with just brute clubs of axes.

every tournament is attended by an equerry of the Angels, picking out the best warriors for recruitment.

 

- Combat Doctrine:

Fast, Rapid, Mechanized strikes into the heart of the Enemy. they Excel at Close Quarter fights, taking the Fight to their enemies in hand-to-hand combat. extensive use of close-quarter firearms, and take ferocious charges after that.

As a successor to the Blood Angels this will be of no surprise, although they seem to enjoy the bloodshed.

The Angels prefer thunderhawk/stormraven insertions, so drop-pod assault are less common then in other chapters.

Aerial assaults & Dogfights are another thing the chapter excels in/

every weapon, armour, or whatever is theirs that becomes broken or destroyed in battle is retrieved, even if it is beyond repairs, just to leave no single trace.

if their enemy dropped omething usefull, they will scavenge and loot it, and repair and redevote it to their own means.

The chapter itself is very bloodlusted and ferocious in battle, some say even more then the Flesh tearers, with the difference that the Angels of Oblivion keep their wargear nice and sharp.

another part of their doctrine is the ability to take arms alongside minor alien races or Abhumans.

Only those who pledged themselves to the chapter or are paid as mercenaries, and even then they are ever-wary in their company. Most of those creatures are part of the Rogue Trader's fleet.

 

- Organisation:

they adhere very close to the Codex Astartes, except they don't trust one man to lead the Chapter, since that could lead to a tyranny like the Emperor was to the Imperium. instead, they formed ''The Chorus''. this existed of all 10 Captains, together with the advisors <as in Fleet commander, Lord Apothecary, High Chaplain, Chief Librarian, Logister, Master of the Armoury and Rogue captain>

Scavenge battlefields for recycling of parts, what turns out to be very effective during Wars with Tau fleets.

 

ranks:

Dominions: the overall title members of the Chorus achieve.

Cherubims: the chapter's name for Apothecaries

Seraphim: the Chapter's reclusiam.

Exousies (or powers, as the "lesser" troops call them): librarians

Virtues: the Members of the Armoury

Thrones (or Ophanim): Logisticiam

Arch Angels: the name of the First company. a rank given to all veterans of the Chapter.

Captains:

- Principaltie Michael (1st company/arch angels)

- principaltie Gabriel (2nd company)

- principaltie Raphael (3rd Company)

- principaltie Uriel (4th company)

- principaltie Sealtiel (5th company)

- principaltie Jegudiel (6th Company)

- principaltie Barachiel (7th Company)

- principaltie Jeremiel (8th Company)

- principaltie Azrael (9th Company)

- the 10th company is overseen by Michael and the Thrones.

 

- Beliefs:

the Chapter believes they are Sanguinius' chosen to beat the flaw, and desperately try to do so.

Killing the traitors of Lucifer is believed to be a step further to find the cure.

next to the usual "find the cure" thing among the scions of Sanguinius, they are not very likely to appear on the battlefield where Imperial troops are present.

The Imperium betrayed them, as the Imperium had betrayed the Emperor, not following His will, and stay true to the Emperor, and maybe even more important to them: Sanguinius.

they do not have any friendly contacts with armies other than the ones aligned to them, for they are either aligned to the Imperium, one of the Chaos Gods or some other way of tyranny. The only friendly contacts they would alow are that of rogue traders, since they are free to do and stand whatever and wherever they want.

 

- Battlecry:

"For Sanguinius, Into Oblivion!"

 

well, some major changes occurred, how much of an improvement is this?

C&C is again, very welcome

it does really take alot to get just a comment, doesn't it? xD

so i guess no one bothers to comment on it?

is it that bad?

No, it's because everything has been already said and the new version does not require any additional comments. - I know, this isn't overly helpful, but that's how I see it.

666 M36: The First war in Heaven: Captain Lucifer and his company Fall to the Dreaded powers of Chaos. The chapter tries to Fight off the traitors; but there were Survivors; and they fled, with Battle Barge ...., to an Unknown place. Captain Lucifer was Mortally wounded by Principalty Michael; but survived, as the Dark powers saw it was not his time yet. Lucifer had killed many marines in his Betrayal.

... This is like smashing the reader upside the head with a sledgehammer that says "Biblical Influences." A light touch works better than a hammer blow. Change the names at the very least. And change the date from 666... Also, by definition, a mortal wound is fatal. A grievous wound would be better here.

 

700 M36: Lucifer decides to attack the Beliris System, for they were running low on supplies. during that same raid, he Slaughtered 10 million innocent people, and the local PDF. the Planetary leaders Asked The Angels of Oblivion for aid, but they were too late. when they arrived, Lucifer was long gone, leaving the Trail of Blood behind.

I'm not sure how much of your chapter rebelled, or how the first battles went, but I find this tough to believe. Only 34 years after a massive battle which sundered your chapter, Lucifer is able to return with a force capable of slaying millions and completely decimating the planet's defenses? Wasn't he seriously injured and on the run?

 

876 M36: Lucifer Returns once again. slaying another population, leaving them all but exterminated. the Angels of Oblivion are again too late to track him down.

How big is his warband? Genocide is a lot of work and very time consuming. I can't imagine he has more than 200 warriors, so the idea that he is killing whole planet is a bit far fetched.

 

101.M37: Assault of Lucifers Warband on an Imperial Transport. Inquisitors blamed the Angels of Oblivion for it. The chapter pleaded it was Lucifer's Warband, but the Inquisition didn't believe them. the Chapter got Declared Excommunicatus Traitoris until they could bring the Head of Lucifer to the Ordo Hereticus; but all traces of the Chaos warband were Vanquished.

Why are the Angels only being blamed now? He kills 2 whole planets and its fine, but he attacks a transport and suddenly the Inquisition is involved?

 

250 M37: Lucifer slaughters a rather small Eldar Craftworld. when he had slain the Autarch in a 1-on-1 duel, he finally got rewarded for his terrible deeds, and finally got Ascended to the Daemonhood.

Even a small Craftworld is a more dangerous enemy than most Imperial worlds. Taking one is no easy task. Also, Craftworlds don't generally possess 1 leader. They are lead by a council, consisting of Autarchs and Farseers. Slaying an Autarch is great, but that alone wouldn't win you the war or be the catalyst for daemonhood.

 

256 M37: the Chapter has difficult to survive. being chased by the Inquisitorial fleet didn't help it either. also, the Flaw was taking it's toll.

succeeding to escape the Inquisitorial fleet; they find an old lost colony, which has been cut off since the Age of Strife. contacting the planetary leaders, they are welcomed as new rulers. the legends of old of the colony had tales of giant warriors in large armour which would deliver them from evil. using these legends, the Angels of Oblivion acquire command, and establish themselves on one of the planets, starting to build a Fortress-monastery, if the colony was lost for so long, the inquisition wouldn't find the chapter here as well.

Wait... You escaped the Inquisition, and found a new planet to lead? That isn't going to look good when the Inquisition shows up again.

 

300 M37: Principaltie Michael, along with the Arch Angels, find an abandoned imperial transport fleet. sign show it was a slaughtering, but no resources were taken. Michael decides to take the fleet with him, and the Chapter's fleet is reinforced with those ships. they prefer to use those ships for missions; and keep the Chapter's original, and easily recognisable, fleet at bay at their System.

Again, name changes. Archangels? Michael? Tone it down.

 

666 M37: Second War in heaven: Lucifer had Achieved the rank of Daemonhood; and saw his chance clean to destroy it's parent chapter. he tried to lure them over, but they resisted. Lucifer attacks the Angels of oblivion's fleet, with Aid of Chaos Daemons.

during the war, the Inquisition turns up, having traced the last warp-jumps and other warp activity of the last known-place of the chapter, and monitors the war. there to annihilate and vanish all traces of the chapter, they now aid the loyalists against the traitors.

The war was won, but none of the High-Daemons was found.

Lucifer fled with his Cohorts once again.

No. No no no. No no. The Inquisition would show up, see two chapters fighting, both of which were declared traitor, and would proceed to attack them both, calling on all the resources they could to put both factions in the ground. Forever.

 

the inquisition now sees it's own faults, and restores the chapter to it's former glory.

Yeah... that isn't going to happen. They aren't going to admit their mistakes and they certainly aren't going to return you to glory. You ran from them, you are guilty of Heresy and Betrayal of the God-Emperor. You will be killed. No excuses.

 

many of the nearby systems were Conquered in service of the imperium, but command was given to the Angels of Oblivion.

Inquisitorial fleet leaves, but will maintain a close watch on the chapter.

PDF force may now be risen; and so they did. the Mechanicum is willing to support the Chapter once more.

Space Marines don't command planets. They capture them, and then leave.

 

275 M38: the Chase: the Chapter dispatches the 9th Company to find lucifer, and exterminate him. Principaltie Azrael has the command.

Again with the names.

 

380 M38: Principaltie Azrael finds out the Raids Lucifer makes are only a quest for survival, as the Red thirst overcame them. they seem to control it somehow by drinking the blood of their enemies. this is Valuable information for the Chorus, and it causes concern. what if this is a cure?

Survival by ascension to demon prince? Yeah...right.... Also, what the devil is the Chorus?

 

384 M38: Rogue traders enter the system. quickly surrounded by the chapter's fleet, they have the choice: or leave, or give in to the chapter.

the rogue traders, seeing no way out, decide to make a deal with the chapter. in exchange for military defence, a safe-home, and food & supplies they will lend their abilities to the chapter. the Chorus decides to agree with this, and thus they form an alliance.

Rogue traders are sanctioned by the Emperor, through the High Lords of Terra, to go where they will and explore as they want. Surrounding them and demanding their surrender to you doesn't make you look any less guilty of heresy and treason...

 

390 M38: Rogue Trader captain Ezeral hears of the so-called ''cure''. he remembers something about a nearby planet, where wild Giant Bats live. research is started, for there must be a way to beat the flaw. also, old remains of documents are found on the planet <...>, giving information about "blood Rituals to please the gods".

What? Bats? I just...

513 M38: the Rogue traders set out, the Chorus asked them to acquire STC sheets, by trading or other means. of course, this is kept in the inner circles. the reason for all others outside of the Chorus is to to act as messengers for the chapter to a nearby PDF force.

STC data is amongst the most precious of all resources in the entire Imperium. The mere hint of a whisper of one is enough to send the AM into an uproar. Assuming your Rogue Trader somehow finds one (VERY UNLIKELY), if he doesn't turn it over to the Adeptus Mechanicus immediately, both he, and everyone he ever came into contact with is in danger of being wiped out. That includes you. The AM does NOT mess around with STC data.

 

001 M39: PDF at full strength. Chapter decides to move the chapter forge from the fortress monastery to the next planet in line to have a more wide-spread production of Vehicles and armaments. more and more the system becomes a self-sufficient economic system. Chapter also instructs "militia" units at the Agri-cultural planet.

"militia" units are units of normal peasants, led by a Preacher or Cleric, lightly armed units for supporting the PDF forces. this is also a way to suppress riots, and creating Unity on the planet. Veteran <...> is send to the planet, and is now the ruler, and may take his squad with him, to be his advisors and companions. Veteran <...> (now Lord <...>) keeps elections, for a single individual to be chosen as the speaker of the people. that single individual, named <...>, is gifted with a present from the population: the Sword <...>, an Ancient Artifact found in the ruins of the old cities. The other planetary rulers consist of the planet's best smith, the planet's best warriors, and the planet's most famous Cleric and Mystic.

What? This whole paragraph is just...off. Space Marines don't lead planets, and separating your Forge and your Monastery is incredibly foolish. If you ever come under siege, you have just given up your ability to sustain a war effort. Not only that, but what purpose does moving the Forge serve? You are Space Marines, not blacksmiths.

 

off-planet members of this organ are an Astropath, a Weapon-expert, indoctrined when the chapter conquered the first planet, and an Elder, an experienced trainer and skilled warrior who keeps an eye on new recruits for the PDF. Also, Ancient <...>, referred dreadnought of the chapter, is added as an advisor, for he has many years of experience as a captain of old.

aided by this advise-organ, Lord <...> keeps the peace in place, providing food for the rest of his chapter.

What does this mean? What organ? What is all of this talking about?

 

001 M39: Strike Force set to investigate romours on an ancient relic on the world of <...>.

once there, the only relic to be found is a tyranid investation. with half a battle company lost, they abandon the world and bomb it with the Warp-lances from the strike cruiser. also a request for a real exterminatus is sent to the Inquisition.

Tyranids first appear in Imperial records late in M41. That is long after you see them. Also, Tyranids don't infest things. They find worlds, and they CONSUME them. Fighting one Tyranid means that the Hive Fleet is not far off. I would leave them out...

 

004 M39: Dispatch of Strikeforces to negotiate with the Adeptus Mechanicus. the Chapter wants to manufacture bigger scaled mechanisms of their own, since they can only produce Rhino's (and it's variants), Landraiders (and it's variants) Storm Ravens and Thunderhawks on there own.

also a small scale of producing Chimera's for the PDF, but they want to acquire more STC's so they can produce Leman Russ Battletanks, or even bigger tanks like the Almighty Baneblade or Stormsword.

The Adeptus Mechanicus laughs in the face of the utter stupidity of Marines asking to for STC data to make machines that are under the strict purview of the AM and the Imperial Guard. They then shoot your delegation, and begin the system destruction of your Chapter for committing heresy against the Machine-God, violations of the ancient decrees, and generally being foolish enough to try and hoard STC data.

 

next to that, a Dispatch force of 100 Marines commanded by Principaltie Uriel is sent out to investigate nearby systems abandoned by the imperium, hoping to aqcuire old STC's, or old Relics.

on the same time, Investigation parties are instructed to investigate the old tombs beneath their own worlds, in search of relics and such.

only time can tell if it''s worth the while.

I refer you to the earlier argument about STC data. You will be found and destroyed. Also, names... again.

 

013 M39: Space hulk inbound! an old space hulk bounds to crash into the planet. the chapter dispatches some ships to act as it's brakes, slowing the large hulk down. 1st company is asked to clean the hulk. besides a few genestealer inhabitants, it is as good as empty. cleaning the hulk can begin, for future use in the chapter's fleet.

No. What? No. Hulks randomly appear and disappear at will, and literally nightmare creations formed from a smashing lots of different ships and tech together before hurling them into the warp, where they become mutated and altered by the capricious whims of the Gods.

 

689 M41: Tau fleet signalled in the system. the chapter hid it's fleet, and found out they were just trespassing. Vox contact was opened after they left the system, but no responses.

Kill the Xenos. Purge the Xenos. Destroy the Xenos. You didn't attack them on sight, so clearly you must be in league with them. Heresy!

 

690 M41: 7th company, during exploration of a nearby system, stumbled upon the earlier spotted Tau Fleet, and all but obliterated it.

all kinds of tau technology still in tact are taken to the Chapter's home for Expectation, or even for their own use. high priority: researching the Battlesuit Technology for own use, but no results yet.

See now you did a good thing and murdered the Xenos. But...then you did a bad thing and tried to scavenge their tech. Bad.

 

999 M41: The Darkest Hour: the Blood Angels are caught in a war on at least two fronts against the Hive Fleet Leviathan, and the Daemon Army of Ka'Bandha. Dante makes swift preparations, and sends requests for aid. and so the Angels of Oblivion also heed the call.

First despatch parties also report that there is a high chance of encountering Lucifer there.

reading the Rogue fleet, preparing the whole chapter, recalling the Hunt, and even reading transport ships to transport the Milita forces of the

Agri-cultural world. Also, the Secret Experiments are brought to light for the first time. the Full first company is readied in a new kind of armour and weaponry, wich seem to be an improved version of the Tau Battlesuit Technology.

Fleet prepared, arms readied, they go, to save their parent chapter, wipe out lucifer's arms and restore their reputation for once and for all.

What? No. Why are you using Tau Tech? This is just inviting the Blood Angels to add you to the list of things that they need to murder during this campaign. Plus, now the AM is really going to want to kill you.

 

- Homeworld:

they had a Homeworld. but when they had been Declared Excommunicatus they fled, leaving it behind.

then they were fleet based, with the Battle Barge ''the Oblivion'' as Flagship.

after a lot of fleeing they stationed themselves in the <no name yet> sector, with the biggest planet as their new homeworld, calling it Oblivion, after their Flagship wich has guided them through so much pain.

Oblivion was everywhere. Again with the sledgehammer.

 

Oblivion has a terra-like climate and a thick atmosphere, and is breathable for normal humans. only in the desert parts mere humans have difficulty to survive, because the temperature can leap to enormous heights and the amount of Oxygen will drop to dangerousely low amounts.

Deserts are dangerous by design. High daytime temps, low night temps, and little food or water are all normal features of a desert. Your desert isn't dangerous, it is a lethal.

 

this planet is located in the Northern part of the Segmentum Ultima.

Oblivion is a Feudal world, and before the arrival of the Angels they were completely isolated, surrounded by the fear for the Barghesi.

this makes perfect recruits for the chapter, because the new recruits know how to work with primitive firearms.

regular Shootout tournaments are held amongst the civilians, and the best gunners are send to the chapter's recruiting-grounds.

The Hyper Violent Barghesi are kept to the Ghoul Stars. There is a whole chapter dedicated to this exact task.

 

- Combat Doctrine:

Fast, Rapid, Mechanized strikes into the heart of the Enemy. they Excel at Close Quarter fights, taking the Fight to their enemies in hand-to-hand combat. extensive use of close-quarter firearms, and take ferocious charges after that. As a successor to the Blood Angels this will be of no surprise, although they seme to enjoy the bloodshed.

The Angels prefer thunderhawk/stormraven insertions, so drop-pod assault are less common then in other chapters.

We recruit from the best shots of the entire planet, but then we take their guns away and make them hit stuff. Why does the sharpshooter aspect from the previous paragraph matter at all?

 

every weapon, armour, or whatever is theirs that becomes broken or destroyed in

battle is retrieved, even if it is beyond repairs.

they are still leaving no trace after their battles.

also, if the enemy has dropped still usefull wargear or abandoned armour, they will scavenge it, and repair and redevote it to their own means.

at least, as far as it can be seen as "non-heretical" of course, they don't want another case of being suspected from heresy by the inquisition, so they won't leave any trace of the former owners on it.

The imperial guard have reported multiple encounters of Angels "playing" with teh gore of their enemies, although no data-pics exist of this, so is considered a foul rumour.

Rumors like that are the kind of rumors that the Inquisition takes extremely seriously, especially if they are about a Chapter that was already declared Excommunicate Traitorous once.

 

- Organisation:

they adhere very close to the Codex Astartes, except they don't trust one man to lead the Chapter. instead, they formed ''The Chorus''. this existed of all 10 Captains, together with the advisors <as in Fleet commander, Lord Apothecary, High Chaplain, Chief Librarian, Logister, Master of the Armoury and Rogue captain>

Scavenge battlefields for recycling of parts. turns out to be very effective during Wars with Tau fleets.

So they don't adhere to the Codex... Why did you say they did? Why are you recycling Xenos tech?

 

ranks:

Dominions: the overall title members of the Chorus achieve.

Cherubims: the chapter's name for Apothecaries

Seraphim: the Chapter's reclusiam.

Exousies (or powers, depends on the source): librarians

Virtues: the Members of the Armoury

Thrones (or Ophanim): Logisticiam

Arch Angels: the name of the First company. a rank given to all veterans of the Chapter.

Captains:

- Principaltie Michael (1st company/arch angels)

- principaltie Gabriel (2nd company)

- principaltie Raphael (3rd Company)

- principaltie Uriel (4th company)

- principaltie Sealtiel (5th company)

- principaltie Jegudiel (6th Company)

- principaltie Barachiel (7th Company)

- principaltie Jeremiel (8th Company)

- principaltie Azrael (9th Company)

- the 10th company is overseen by Michael and the Thrones.

None of this is relevant to the IA, and instead detracts from it, as your names once again use a sledgehammer instead of a taphammer to convey your theme. Much to much here.

 

- Beliefs:

the Chapter believes they are Sanguinius' chosen to beat the flaw, and desperately try to do so.

Killing the traitors of Lucifer is believed to be a step further to find the cure.

next to the usual "find the cure" thing among the scions of Sanguinius, they are not very likely to appear on the battlefield where Inquisitorial troops are present, except the Ordo Xenos, with which they would like to coöperate, because of their knowledge about Xenos.

Ordo Xenos doesn't have troops persay. They have kill-teams, called the Deathwatch. However, they aren't going to appreciate or welcome you sniffing around their battlefields, because they have work to do. Why do you need extra knowledge of the Xenos anyway? If you know how to kill it, then you know enough.

 

C&C?

I gave you feedback, hopefully it's useful to you.

yep,

it has been.

thank you very much,

even the newer version is still full of stuff which need correction,

the names were indeed non-altered, since i'm very bad in making up names and stuff,

but i will redo most of the works i guess,

edited to the comments

 

thanks guys C:

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