IA:Angels Of Penance

[Pentence]

[size=6; background-image:url(http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/hq2.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-position: 8px 2px; padding: 12px 8px 12px 8px; border: 1px solid #DDD; margin-left: 0 auto; text-align: left; color: #fff; text-indent:50px; font-size:130%; width:50%;">Index Astartes: Angels Of Penance[/size]

Angels Of Penance Captain

S

peculated to be one of the first succesor chapters. They sport gear that is both anchient and honoured. They keep not only a few whole sets of MKIII power armor in decent repair but also anchient bolter patterns and even a few dozen sets of Tactical dreadnaught armor.They employ subterfuge and guerrilla style tactics instead of simply confronting their foe they lay waste to them from within and without. Even going so far as to employ other members of the Imperiums forces as spys. Many other chapters dissaprove especialy those so adherent to the Codex Astartes however their record speaks for itself and few argue that fact.

D

uring the Year 780.M31 Planets whom were traped from within a massive warp storm covering a northern part of the Segmentum Obscurus were finaly revealed once again to the rest of the galaxy. During this time a small fleet came forth holding a chapter of marines . It is not writen in the records what chapter they claimed to be only that their colors were a dark blue almost indigo with large sections painted black with silver trim. Devistated and torn asunder they were not welcome by the Imperium.

The Inquisition was first sent in force to confront these 'lost souls'. However it was not as they expected, the marines brought with them anchient relics and even books on chaos itself. For it was those very forces that had decimated their chapter so. Many records of their founding were lost due to their intense battles to stay alive within the warp storm. It was either their great luck or grave misfortune that the Inquisitor sent in charge of the fleet that confronted them was of the Xanthism philosophy before it had such a name.

The Inquisitor named Marcus took into his possesion a few relics the marines did not question him as this was to be expected. Unknown to the inquisitor though was that these marines were not adherent to the ways of the codex astartes. No in fact it was later revealed that they infact had adjusted their ways to adapt to the perils of being astrained for so long. They infiltrated some of the lower nyophytes by placing their own men and even hiring or threatening others into submission. No easy task for any group yet these marines had talent for such subterfuge seemingly honed for millenia before. This move was to be their trump card.

After Marcus had collected the relics aboard his vessel he ordered his ships to fire on the devistated fleet. It did not go according to plan. The agents aboard his vessels had helped disable some of the fleet from within while allowing boarding vessels from the marines to get inside. Their terminators were reveleaed to be anchient and grizzled astartes that took whole sections of the ships in mere minutes. Upon reaching the fleets commandship and cornering Marcus in his own chambers one of the marines steped aside to reveal an Inquisitor Lord. The terminators seargent looked to the Lord who simply noded and with that ended the heretics life.

Eventualy it came to light that Marcus was dabling in chaos powers and relics. He had begun to read and study the dark books and even tested some of the ruinous powers himself. All this was leaked to the marines who had decided to do the unthinkable and infiltrate the inquisition. They used their contacts within the infiltrated fleet to sneak in a Lord who could afirm the situation. The lord caught the heretical inquisitor redhanded and sentenced him to death.

Not happy with their bloody work the marines lamented about having to turn their blades on their own. It was at this time that the Lord praised this lost chapter and hailed them as Angels Of Penance.

Beliefs

The chapter considers the emperor an incredible man but no god. He is inspiration to them all but not revered the same. Their loyalty is to the continued existance of mankind through all her perils. They offer no prayers to anyone for they beleive in their own might and that of their bretheren. For it is through mankinds own never yielding will that has allowed it to continue even in these darkest of times. To this end the Angels of Penance live up to their name for they know that not all of mankind is as able as the astartes. So they shoulder thier great burden to truly be the bullwark of mankind against her enemies,even from within.

They also believe that chaos is a problem caused by man itself ,sin made manifest, and as such they believe it is a problem of which should be solved by man. In this their name is revealed to be much deeper in meaning. For it is all of mankind who has sinned and the Angels Of Penance have chosen to pay for mankinds sins through their deeds. They hunt down cults of chaos wherever they might crop up.

It is due to their beleifs that they hold no ill will twords normal humans. Unlike many astartes they consider the weaker of the Imperium to be in need of leaders not persicutors.

Organization

Unlike the normal rank and file system of other marines the Angels Of Penance are more like an amalgam of parts. Allmost all brothers look alike in or out of their armor. Bald heads paler features and shimering jade or crystal blue eyes mark their genome. They frequently hold council with all ranks atending to offer opinions and help make decisions. Great respect is held from the lowest to the highest of authority,for if you do not give respect how can one expect it in return?

In this way they have no obvious markings of company or rank aside form more ornate or older more precious armors. They have half a company with terminator armor and they never use normal armor. This is part of their beliefs that a person who is more familar with a given situation and piece of equipment is best suited to play out a certain role. This extends to their dedicated netowrk of spies and undercover agents they employ.

Combat Doctrine

To weaken the enemy before the final blow is their favored tactic. They do not glorify needless casualties. This stems from their time stuck behind warp storms for several centuries and lacking the nesicary supplies to make more marines in any ready supply. Striking form all sides with decisive strikes while getting behind enemy lines to sabatoge them are all ways they confuse disorent and ultimately anihilate their foes. They favor deepstriking with terminator or jump pack teams softening up the enemy before using devistator squads to deliver the final blow to key componets of the enemy.

Not above retreating when the benifits do not outweigh the loses they are sometimes called cowards by other astartes. However their numbers do not dwindle so rapidly like others either. Also in such an odd manner the Angels Of Penance are not above using mercenarys including xenos. If it is to their advantage to side with an enemy to face a far greater threat then for all mankind they will do so.

[NightrawenII]

Welcome in the Liber Astartes. The best place to get honest opinion of your work. :)

 

Now...

It gave me good headache to find a way how to comment this without any needless discouragement and... there is no such way. Btw, most of my points are covered by Guide sticky atop of this forum.

 

So I'm going to ask, What do you want to achieve with your Chapter?

[Pentence]

Ah im a bit disapointed i expected much harsher ridicule :rolleyes: im thick skinned so dont worry have at thee

 

Alas this chapter is to be a fairly unorthodoxed and perhapes more independant one. They never used the codex astartes and have their own way of going about things. Democratic and somewhat more forward thinking than others. They also prefer to think much farther ahead than most before making a move.

 

Basicly a fairly odd man out and more for the people than others.

[Midgard]

The feel I get from this Chapter is that they are essentially supposed to be loyalist Alpha Legion, in method if not in fact. I would cut down on the elaborate story of dealing with a potentially corrupt Inquisitor, and would definitely try to find a way around the whole "lost in the Warp storm" backstory, which is just too cliche for my liking.

 

There are other ways to recreate the Alphas within a loyalist framework that do not involve mysterious origins hinting at Traitor gene-seed, Inquisition, Warp storms etc. They could be a Raven Guard successor embodying the covert ops nature of Corax's tactics, or they could even be a standard Ultramarine successor delving into covert ops aspect of the Codex (because let's face it, Guilliman included quite a few different tactics in there, some of which were borrowed from the Traitors, so covert ops, anonymity etc would probably have their place within the Codex). Ultimately, there is little place for covert ops in a Marine Chapter - that's not what the Marines do, and while there are some specialists (Raven Guard line being chief amongst them), covert ops are supplementary to the Chapter military doctrine, which is, to put it bluntly, to be the force multiplier - to bring the maximum firepower/ferocity to the crucial point in the enemy line.

[Zynk Kaladin]

Ah im a bit disapointed i expected much harsher ridicule :D

 

Rejoice! For NightrawenII shows mercy upon thee. In the very darkest of places whispers stir up dark rumors that he actually feasts on the very souls of the poor fluff lambs. I've heard stories of people going insane after his mighty salvos of opinions tear through even the most sturdy of IAs. ;)

 

 

I'm not very good at critiquing fluff. However, I found the Octaguide very helpful last week when I redid my chapter's IA.

[Shinzaren]

Ah im a bit disapointed i expected much harsher ridicule :D

 

Rejoice! For NightrawenII shows mercy upon thee. In the very darkest of places whispers stir up dark rumors that he actually feasts on the very souls of the poor fluff lambs. I've heard stories of people going insane after his mighty salvos of opinions tear through even the most sturdy of IAs. ;)

Oh, NightrawenII isn't that bad at all. He's a big softy really. He just loves you guys so much that he has to try his hardest to make sure your IAs are all good. Really, his problem is that he cares to much. It's tragic is what it is...

 

Ah im a bit disapointed i expected much harsher ridicule

Oh that can be arranged...

[Tyther]

Love the name, and the art is very nice. With a few tweaks (i.e. eliminating the Deux ex Machina nature of their Inquisitorial run-in), the history would be fine with me. But there's one thing in the Combat Doctrine section that bothers me.

 

Also in such an odd manner the Angels Of Penance are not above using mercenarys including xenos. If it is to their advantage to side with an enemy to face a far greater threat then for all mankind they will do so.

 

This raises questions, a LOT of them. Firstly, how are these mercenaries paid? Secondly (and more importantly), how has the Chapter survived in the face of this? Consorting with xenos is treason in the Imperium's eyes, and heresy besides. Any activities of this sort would attract a LOT of Inquisitorial attention, and not just the corrupted kind- the Ordos Xenos would hit them like the proverbial ton of bricks. A lone Chapter of this sort doesn't have the influence necessary to survive the kind of political backlash this would create- dealing directly with xenos in a non-'I shoot you' manner is a very quick way to be declared Excommunicate Traitoris, and even if they manage to clear their names somehow, reputations stick. Which raises a third and fourth question- does the Chapter hide this aspect of its activities, and if so, how so? If not, why not?

[Pentence]

@Midgard

 

Yeah i agree with the warpstorm idea being cliche in fact i did not want to use this as it detracts from the piece a bit. However i had hoped that people ,like yourself, would catch onto the fact that they are alpha legion esque and that perhapes it is a ploy for them to suddenly "come from a warp storm". The idea here is that maybe JUST MAYBE they are playing a two sided coin.

 

As for the covert ops i can agree with that perhapes i should specify how they hire for that sort of role generaly speaking it hard to hide a astartes among regular humans XD

 

 

 

@ Tyther

 

This is the type of critiqes i was looking for. I had not had that realy cross my mind as it sounds like they willy nilly do this and just put it out there. I need to answer all of those questions thanks a bunch for that!

 

 

Keep them coming fellas i realy could use the feedback ill be reworking this soon also based on the current ideas presented.

 

Thanks all!