IA- Astramarines (1st Draft)

[Tyther]

Astramarines

A relatively young chapter, the Astramarines once allowed their pride to get the better of them. Chastened by an early defeat and the mistakes of their past, the Chapter's current generation guard against the folly of their first days, all the while seeking to forge their own legacy in the Imperium.

Astramarine Tactical Battle Brother

Origins and Early Years

“Welcome, initiates. You have stepped into the halls of the Emperor's service. From this day on, you will be the razor edge of his will, the crushing strength of his judgment. You will be the worthy heirs of his greatest son.”

-Chapter Master Galos Kayen to a group of neophytes-

The Astramarines were created in the 25th Founding in response to an increase in Chaotic activity along the northern edge of the Maelstrom. On storm-wracked Cabalus III in the Segmentum Ultima, located equidistant from the Maelstrom and Ork-controlled world of Jagga, arose the Astramarines. Created from the gene-seed of the Marines Errant Chapter, the Astramarines' ranks were quickly swelled by a rigorous recruitment campaign, orchestrated by Chapter Master Galos Kayen. Kayen, while a dedicated captain and Marine Errant, considered himself a son of Guilliman first, and a Marine Errant second. This philosophy was quickly instilled into the Chapter's initiates, who took their Ultramarines heritage as far more than a source of pride. They saw their Primarch as the ultimate aspiration of everything they could hope to be, and emulated their progenitors, the Ultramarines, as closely as they could.

For the earliest portion of its existence, the Chapter only dedicated itself sparingly in campaigns north of the Maelstrom, as Kayen only took with him the best of his Astramarine initiates- only they, in his eyes, were deserving of the kinds of glory the Ultramarines had once won in the years following the Horus Heresy. This strategy, while allowing the Astramarines to quickly build and maintain their numbers, left most of the initiates dangerously inexperienced next to Kayen's bloodied First Company Veterans. This became clear in the Astramarines' first full-scale campaign against an Orkish incursion on Raelis IV. First Company, under Kayen's personal direction, blazed a path through the Orkish hordes, racking up a body count “that befits only the heirs of Ultramar”. The other two companies in the campaign, Fourth and Fifth, did not progress nearly as quickly as First Company did, and took significantly heavier losses- seventy-nine Battle Brothers in all, next to the thirteen Space Marines lost out of the entirety of First Company.

Upon seeing the disproportionate losses among his forces, Kayen, in a moment that historians to this day argue was either of clarity or madness, attempted to change how he had been handling his chapter. Those arguing the former point to his decrees, while those insisting on the latter point out how they were implemented. Kayen came to the conclusion that his selection of forces had the effect of coddling the vast majority of his Space Marines- those who he did not take had no experience besides their training and their pre-Astartes lives. While hardly easy, this was a far cry from the brutal Orks and merciless Traitor Marines that the First Company had been warring against. Vowing that “every Astartes of Cabalus will make Guilliman weep with pride”, Kayen took the entire Chapter, save for a small unit of veterans, initiates and servitors, in what the Chapter now calls the Crusade of the Crashing Stars.

Crashing Stars

“We cannot abandon our fortress-monastery. We must decline your plea.”

“We require assistance! Our defenses are being overrun! Where is the rest of the Chapter?”

“... elsewhere.”

-Vox exchange between Techmarine Derinos Lukas and PDF Frigate 'Guiding Light'-

The Crusade began well at first, winning decisive victories against relatively small warbands of Word Bearers Chaos Marines and Cultists, and giving the other companies of the Astramarines much-needed experience against the Emperor's deadliest foes. But as they progressed, the Word Bearers forces became more and more numerous, attack became defense, and invasion became entrenchment. The Astramarines, despite having almost their entire strength concentrated in a single theater of war, were paralyzed, hemmed in by seas of flesh and Chaos-imbued ceramite. Chapter Master Kayen chose this moment to realize something else- he had violated the Codex Astartes by committing so much of the Chapter to a single engagement. Viewing his foolishness as a personal insult to the memory of his Primarch, he took only a single squad from the First and Second Companies to hold the line as the remaining Astramarines were extracted into orbit for return to Cabalus- something of a chore, as every squad in both companies volunteered to stay behind. While for the most part the extraction went as planned, the Strike Cruiser Edict of Vindication was lost to enemy fire, costing the Chapter its Fifth and Ninth Companies. Stung by their losses and their ignominious withdrawal, the Astramarine Chapter fleet limped home. But losses on the campaign were to be the least of their worries.

Coinciding with the end of the Crusade was an Ork WAAAGH! on Perithan Prime, which went unopposed save for the efforts of the local Planetary Defense Forces. The token force of Astramarines on nearby Cabalus could not respond without abandoning their homeworld and fortress-monastery, and so they did not. Perithan Prime fell in short order. Ork Boss Drull Rockstompa, triumphant over his victory, invaded Cabalus next. The Orks butchered millions and burned huge swathes of the landscape. All the Astramarines could send in response were detachments of squad strength, which were always beaten back, although not without inflicting disproportionate losses on the foul xenos.

By good fortune (although several of the more zealous Astramarines insist that it was the Emperor's will at work), it was at this bleak point that the crusading fleet returned. Seeing their homeworld the victim of a xenos infestation, the enraged Astramarines descended en masse, halting the green tide dead in its tracks and decapitating its command structure. Over the next decade, the chapter systematically drove the Orks back, and when the last stronghold of Orkish power was broken, the Astartes took it upon themselves to hunt down and eradicate every last greenskin. The cleansing of Cabalus was a much-needed morale boost for the battered Astramarines, who were heralded as saviors by the Cabalian common folk. Curiously, no record on Cabalus reasons that had the Astramarines not attempted their ill-fated Crusade, the losses incurred during the Orkish invasion could have been avoided altogether.

Old and New

-“You besmirch the name of our Primarch, Chapter Master! Guilliman weeps this day because of you!”

“Guilliman weeps at the pride of fools!”

-Exchange between Chapter Master Mikolis Lapenos and Veteran Brother-Sergeant Jelim Tevas, moments before Tevas' beheading by Lapenos-

The Astramarines' former First Captain and new Chapter Master, Mikolis Lapenos, oversaw the reconstruction and gradual restoration of civilian authority on Cabalus, before returning to deal with his Chapter. Addressing the chapter, Lapenos praised his predecessor's dedication and zeal, but, in a rare moment for the proud Space Marines, criticized his excesses. The Emperor and Primarch Guilliman, Lapenos claimed, were better honored by results than by chest-beating. No longer would the Astramarines be ruled by their pride- reality would govern how they fought, not some glorified vision of Ultramarines reborn under new names. The rank-and-file of the Chapter, even the former members of Kayen's personal retinue, accepted this with little complaint- the loss of two full Companies and a Chapter Master still resounded in most of their memories.

But little was not none, and the protests increased in frequency and volume when Lapenos began to reorganize the Chapter as a fighting unit, eliminating the Assault Marine complements in each Battle Company and replacing them with Devastator Squads, as well as adding Devastator units to the Sixth and Seventh Reserve Companies and making them full Battle Companies. In addition, Lapenos adjusted the company-level attack and defense tactics. There was an uproar. To deviate from the Codex Astartes was heresy, opponents of the shift cried, a betrayal of the Astramarines' legacy as Ultramarines successors and as sons of Roboute Guilliman. Lapenos bit back at his critics, pointing out that Kayen's idolization of the Ultramarines had already humiliated the Chapter once, and that if that was the legacy they desired for the scions of such glorious fathers, they could have it. While most complaints died out after this, the transition was uneasy, and is marked in the Chapter's records by a general lethargy in recruitment efforts and delayed responses to reports of xenos threats that lasts almost the entirety of Lapenos' stewardship of the Astramarines. The Chapter records do not explain this lull, but it can be reasonably posited that in-fighting between Lapenos' supporters and his detractors distracted the chapter as a whole. This inactivity became the cause of an Inquisitorial investigation, which ended extremely quickly, although neither the Astramarines nor the Ordo Hereticus have detailed why.

Rebirth in Fire

“Immediately.”

-Chapter Master Alexandros Porphyra's response to the summons of the Ordo Hereticus-

Astramarine records for the Cadrin Sector campaign in the fading years of M41 are numerous and well-maintained, especially in contrast to some tracts of the Chapter's history. The campaign began shortly after the Ordo Hereticus declared the Black Stars chapter Excommunicate Traitoris. Cut off from supply by the Imperium, the renegade chapter attacked several worlds in the Cadrin Sector, the most prominent of which was the Forge World Atticus. The Astramarines were called upon by the Inquisition to swiftly contain the renegade threat, and respond they did. Mobilizing at a mystifyingly fast pace to a crisis hundreds of light-years from their home sector, four Astramarine companies commanded by Chapter Master Alexandros Porphyra travelled to Atticus to match the four renegade companies attempting to take the planet over.

It was here that the tactics that Chapter Master Lapenos detailed came into their own, the theories he detailed being tested and refined against the finest of enemies. The Black Stars assaulted the Astramarines' established defensive positions, but made little headway. When the traitors' attacks ran out of momentum, the Astramarines powered forward, a wall of ceramite and bolter shells. What they lacked in mobility by losing the standard Assault squads they gained in the volume of metal they could pour into their opponents from the front, laying down devastating fire with twice the amount of heavy weaponry that standard Codex companies could field. That is not to say that victory was easy- one hundred and fifty three Battle Brothers were killed on Atticus- but when weighed against the utter obliteration of four renegade companies, the men of Cabalus were clearly the better off of the two forces.

Following their victory on Atticus, the Astramarines took their operations in the Cadrin Sector to the next step. While the four companies under the Chapter master's command returned home to replenish their numbers, Chapter Master Porphyra sent Captain Tomas Kylion with three companies to Epheshior, the Black Stars' homeworld, with the intent of purging the traitors and claiming their fortress-monastery as the Astramarines' own, cementing their power in the region.

On Epheshior, Kylion adhered to the tactics proven at Atticus- to no avail. The Howling Vault- the fortress of the Black Stars- was as well-fortified as any Space Marine chapter's base of operations. The Black Stars had nothing to gain, and much to lose, by attacking Kylion, when they could simply wait for him to attack with inferior numbers. What was more, the Astramarines had arrived with a force wholly unsuited to how they had fought at Atticus- one of their three companies was composed entirely of Assault Marines. Any attack would surely be suicidal.

After several months of pointless siege, Kylion decided to move in, but instead of committing his Assault Marines with the rest of the attack, blasted at the gates of the Howling Vault with his two Companies for two solid days. The Black Stars laughed and prepared to overwhelm the attackers- until the roof of their fortifications fell in. The Astramarines' Eighth Company used the distraction provided by the frontal attack to surprise the Black Stars, and defeated the units stationed throughout the fortress-monastery piecemeal, despite numerous attempts by the Black Stars to link up and destroy the threat. Rapid and well-coordinated strikes whittled down the renegade defenders while the bulk of the Astramarines continued to pound at the front entrance. When the doors finally gave way, the remaining Black Stars were caught in a pincer attack, and were slaughtered to a man.

The Howling Vault was conquered, but a second fortress-monastery never materialized. Epheshior was subjected to Exterminatus shortly afterwards. Although disappointed, the Astramarines returned to Cabalus redeemed. All questions about their competence and loyalty had vanished, and the Cadrin sector campaign was followed by a string of minor, albeit well-deserved, victories against Orkish and Chaotic depredations, cementing the Chapter's reputation as one that had overcome its early embarrassments and fully matured. Upon hearing about the Thirteenth Black Crusade, the Chapter's senior staff sent the First and Seventh Companies to assist in the defense. As of the time of writing, they are en route to the Cadian Gate.

Homeworld

“You call this a storm?”

Battle Brother Alexios Kator to Imperial Guard General Paulus Kampf during a hurricane on Meldis II

Cabalus III sits on the edge of the habitable zone of its star, and as such has cooler temperatures than are typically expected from a Civilized World. Its two moons, Master and Disciple, host small settlements as well, although these are little more than towns to house workers for the mines that dot the moons' surfaces. Shipping traffic typically between the planet and its moons typically consists of either metal being sent to Cabalus' surface for refining, or food being shipped to the miners, who have no way to produce it themselves. Cabalus has no plentiful resources, though, and typically has to import foodstocks from nearby worlds. Its moons allow it to make minor exports of metal and semiprecious stones to nearby systems, but the world's largest contribution to the Imperium is in the form of Astartes initiates.

Over sixty percent of Cabalus is covered in ocean. There are three primary landmasses- Lacedos, Penkratos and Militaeion, as well as an assortment of small islands around the coast of each one. All three continents border the comparatively small Oculus Sea on one side, and the titanic Tempestus Mundum Ocean on the other. It is a commonly accepted fact on the planet that crossing a landmass to get to a port on the Oculus Sea is far safer than taking a ship to cross the Tempestus Mundum.

Lacedos is far and away the largest continent, and the majority of the planet's four billion people live on it. Its soil is somewhat fertile, but not abundantly so, and the same is true of minerals and other natural resources. As a result, the various nation-states scattered beneath its surface constantly politick and war for influence and resources, and the authority of individual leaders is tied almost directly to how far their capitals are from their borders. The continent's size has had the effect of terrible storms and extremes of heat and (especially) cold on its interior, in comparison to the mostly mild conditions on its Oculus coastline. For the most part, cities are built underground, partially in emulation of the Astramarines' own Deep Tower, and partially out of common sense. Those who grow the continent's food, referred to as 'Storm-rats' in various local colloquialisms, are forced to stay above the surface to ensure that the great tunnel-cities of their lords do not starve. It is from these individuals that the Astramarines draw the greatest portion of their recruits.

Penkratos, the next largest landmass, has several well-settled areas near the coast, but further inland, the soil gives way to a vast rocky desert, unsuited to life. From time to time, the Astramarines will monitor the few nomadic tribes of the desert for suitable Astartes candidates, but this is exceedingly rare- of the entire Chapter's current roster, only two marines hail from this region.

Militaeion is, as far as Imperial records go, uninhabited. Vast swathes of the land are covered in jungle, and whatever is not covered in trees is underwater. Three massive rivers cut through the forest, and numerous lakes feature the landscape. There is some evidence that earlier cultures did attempt to establish colonies here, but no currently-settled areas exist.

The people of Cabalus are in a technological Dark Age, having yet to discover blackpowder weapons. Much of the warring is done with traditional metal implements- broad axes, long swords, heavy maces, and the like. Medical knowledge, while advanced compared to some Feral and Death Worlds, is still primitive, and the average citizen is considered lucky to live past the age of fifty. Because of this, the Astramarines, who live for centuries and whose technology does things barely understood by Cabalus' most acclaimed philosofers and 'great-thinkers', are revered as angels of the God-Emperor, who is worshiped in various aspects as 'The Sun-Lord Above', 'The Savior', as well as several other incarnations. Many of Lacedos' wars have, in fact, been about worship, and about the correct interpretation of the God-Emperor's faith. The Astramarines, for their part, do not interfere with their worship, although on occasion an Astartes is dispatched to a city to endorse a zealous potential leader for a nation over a relatively secular one. To date, every single nomination by an Astramarine has led to the endorsed candidate gaining power.

Since the majority of the Astramarines are drawn from Lacedos' aboveground regions, they have a fairly wide range of skin tones, ranging from a light tan for recruits drawn from equatorial locales, to a pale complexion more common among those who live near the continent's southern end. Historically, all Astramarines from the Penkratian desert have been dark-skinned. Coincidentally, they have all entered Devastator squads and used flamers as their weapons of choice.

The Deep Tower

“Home is wherever I can hear the Emperor's voice. That is why these halls echoes so much.”

-Reclusiarch Liados Tammer

Situated on a small rocky island in the middle of the Oculus Sea, the modest three-level structure housing the entrance to the Deep Tower has a lit beacon that shines at all times, letting all that traverse these waters see the Emperor's Light from a great distance. A landing pad capable of accomodating several of the Chapter's Thunderhawks sits adjacent to the building. Once inside, a spiraling series of steps leads down roughly one hundred meters and enters a large semicircular chamber. Across from the stairs are twenty meter-high double doors of gold-painted ceramite, with three reliefs carved into the doors- in the center, head and shoulders taller than the rest, stands Roboute Guilliman, to his left stands Galos Kayen, and to his right is Avas Marneil, Chapter Master of the Marines Errant during the formation of the Astramarines.

The next few layers down are dedicated to quarters for the Astramarines who are not on tours of duty, as well as the Chapter's Armory and Librarium, where Astramarines are encouraged to learn their Chapter's history- or at least what histories the Librarium has made available. Over half the records present relate to the Ultramarines. Training facilities are also present, and while these are most often occupied by the Chapter's initiates, fully-fledged Astartes are a common sight.

The deepest portion of the Deep Tower is the fortress-monastery's chapel. Inside this vaulted hall, dozens of alcoves display the Chapter banners carried on every one of the Astramarines' campaigns, and hundreds more stand empty, awaiting the standards of battles to come. As the Astramarines insist on bringing their Chapter's relics with them to battle, only one relic is stored in the Chapel. The thunder hammer Atonement's Fist, wielded only once by each Chapter Master against a deserving enemy, lies across an altar of polished marble, and dates back to the founding of the Astramarines as a Chapter. Every day at dusk, a chaplain holds a service in the chapel and blesses the hammer, thanking the Emperor for the honor of serving in his name and thanking him again for the tools he gives the Astartes to accomplish their task. Attendance is not mandatory, but many Astartes do come.

Organization

“Sacrilege is unacceptable. Innovation is not.”

-Attributed to Chapter Master Mikolis Lapenos-

Initially, the Astramarines were a codex chapter, but since the Lapenian Reform (as they are known amongst the Battle Brothers), Second, Third, Fourth and Fifth Companies are comprised of six Tactical and four Devastator Squads. As part of the same shift, Sixth and Seventh Companies have gained status as full Battle Companies, and are composed of seven Tactical Squads and three Devastator Squads. Eighth Company remains the Assault Company, but is now also a full Battle Company, although it is rarely fielded as such, as elements of the Company between two and five squads strong are typically deployed alongside Chapter expeditions. The only true reserve Company left in the Chapter is Ninth Company. As per the Codex, Tenth Company is comprised of the Chapter's scouts.

The Chapter's Librarians and Techmarines walk a thin line. As with any Space Marine Chapter, the Astramarines are hugely paranoid, viewing the Librarians' psychic abilities as potential doorways to corruption and the Adeptus Mechanicus' adoption of the Machine Cult as a dangerous deviation, as the Emperor was a man- a man kept alive by machines, but a man all the same. That said, they are tolerated by the Astramarines for the flexibility they afford the Chapter's Battle Brothers, and are viewed as valuable allies in the field. A terse statement by an unknown Space Marine perhaps sums it up best: an Astramarine will trust a Librarian or Techmarine with his life, but not with his secrets.

Combat Doctrine

-“When the enemy must walk against a stream of bolter rounds, he's fighting Astartes. When that stream is an ocean, he's fighting Astramarines.”

-Attributed to Devastator Brother-Sergeant Lakos Tzimikes-

Astramarine tactics are centered heavily around ranged combat, with Devastator Squads blanketing an area with heavy fire to pin the enemy in place and weaken them while the Tactical Marines move in. Force Commanders and Captains tend to be defensively-minded, seeking the best positions for the Devastators to situate themselves while laying down fire, so that casualties inflicted on the enemy are not repaid in kind. This tactic was laid down first by Chapter Master Lapenos, but only became accepted Chapter-wide after its successful implementation on Atticus.

Chaplains, when deployed, are typically sent in alongside tactical squads, howling litanies as they do so, although the rank-and-file Marines have opined that they would be more useful leading Assault detachments, given their propensity towards melee combat. On the other hand, the chapter's Librarians stay with the Devastator squads, lending support from a distance with their psychic powers. Astramarine Techmarines are rarely dispatched alongside the bulk of the chapter's expeditionary forces. Instead, a Techmarine usually operates with a single tactical squad, capturing or destroying key points in order to shape the battlefield to the Astramarines' best advantage.

Scout elements are also utilized heavily by the Astramarines as skirmish units, harassing enemy formations and drawing key elements away from the main body for defeat in detail by the rest of the combat force, or attacking from multiple directions to confuse the enemy about the location of the Astramarines' forces and delaying encounters until the right moment so the rest of the force can inflict maximal damage. While this goes some way beyond their duty as 'scouts', the Astramarines reason that exposure to more danger prepares them better for their lives as full-fledged Astartes of the chapter, although they stop short of ordering the neophytes into the thick of firefights.

Force Commanders also have a tendency to hold back any Eighth Company Marines they have until victory is almost guaranteed. This allows them to maximize the effect of an aerial attack, since the enemy will only ever face it once, and thus be unprepared when it comes, having had to deal with a ground-based assault for the entire battle. All officers in command of an Assault Marine complement look to Captain Kylion's assault against the Howling Vault on Epheshior as inspiration for their current tactics. Elements of the Eighth are typically sent in to capture or kill high-value targets, or to wreak havoc on weak sections of an enemy army and break their morale. Against the utterly insane forces of Chaos, however, their role becomes one of preventing escape. Curiously for the tactically-meticulous Astramarines, it is this simple role the Assault Marines enjoy the most.

Beliefs

“Horus? Please. If Horus had been the Emperor's greatest son, he would have stood by his father. Guilliman remained loyal, and so did Dorn.”

-Brother-Sergeant Galen Athos, when asked about the Primarchs-

Like all Space Marine Chapters, the Astramarines see the Emperor of Mankind as the pinnacle of human form and power, and believe in His vision of an Imperium of Man ruling the entire galaxy. The chapter also honors Primarch Roboute Guilliman as the Emperor's son and as the tactical genius who penned the Codex Astartes. In a slight deviation, though, the Astramarines believe that it was Guilliman's dedication to victory that made him so great. What it has means for them is a greater ease in the application of their somewhat unorthodox combat doctrine in the field. It brings victory for the Imperium, and so Guilliman would be happy, they reason. While this aspect of their claim is clear, what is not clear is why the Astramarines have singled out Guilliman for this distinction, as the other loyal Primarchs can hardly be accused of not standing against the Emperor's enemies. The Chapter's shift during the Lapenian reform and its victories on Atticus and Epheshior has also lead to the veneration of Imperial Fists Primarch Rogal Dorn, who is admired for his Astartes' defense of Terra against Horus' Traitor legions. While the Astramarines do not revere Dorn nearly as much as they do Guilliman, he, his chapter and their successors have the Astramarines' respect. The same cannot be said of the Space Wolves, however. Deviation from established rules to produce victory is one thing, in their opinion, but ignoring such rules altogether is sacrilege and blasphemy. Many count the Astramarines wise to not voice their opinion directly to the sons of Fenris, although others contend that the Space Wolves have better things to worry about than the words of a young successor chapter.

Gene-Seed

-“We will serve Guilliman's memory and bring glory to our Primarch's name. But we will do so as Astramarines, as the sons of Cabalus!”

-Chapter Master Mikolis Lapenos-

The Astramarines have Guilliman's gene-seed in the form of their Marines Errant founders. They consider it a point of pride to have come from the line of such a distinguished Primarch, and revere the Ultramarines immensely. However, the Chapter is aware of the pitfalls of being too proud of this, so it takes pains to ensure that this respect does not cross over into slavish imitation. The Ultramarines, for their part, insist that Guilliman's memory would be better honored by prudent application of his tenets, not by diverging from them. The Astramarines have yet to respond to this.

---

That's the first draft, and all I have so far. Recommendations would be great.

[Zebulon]

Well, I quite like this, well-written and credible imho and the colour-scheme is nice too...

 

I don't really have any criticisms, I'll leave that to more judgemental (and more experienced) posters.

 

Feel free to check out my IA - towards the bottom of this page, "Storm Gauntlets"

 

In fact I'll dig out the link in a minute...

 

http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/index.p...howtopic=233068

[Shinzaren]

Well, I quite like this, well-written and credible imho and the colour-scheme is nice too...

 

I don't really have any criticisms, I'll leave that to more judgemental (and more experienced) posters.

 

Feel free to check out my IA - towards the bottom of this page, "Storm Gauntlets"

 

In fact I'll dig out the link in a minute...

 

http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/index.p...howtopic=233068

See this is no good... Don't make a post on his IA, talking about your chapter, while leaving nothing for him to mull over for his. Work a link to your IA into your sig, and then go about the boards making recognizable, useful posts. People will read your comments and criticisms for others and decide that maybe your IA is worth a look. Get your name out in a positive way. :woot: Don't derail his thread with your stuff. If you get really desperate for responses, PM one of the experienced posters who see making lots of comments/criticisms and ask them for help. Most at the Liber are glad to help you, but this type of post doesn't help you, and it doesn't help Tyther build his IA.

 

Now, in an attempt to avoid derailing the thread further than I already have, I will give a full and frank critique tomorrow when I get off work. Unfortunately, I need to catch my measly 3 hours of sleep before I have to wake up for said work, so I have to delay. I do promise to get back to you though Tyther. I have a post it note on my Laptop screen :)

[Allfather1]

The Astramarines were created in the 25th Founding in response to an increase in Chaotic activity along the northern edge of the Maelstrom. On storm-wracked Cabalus III in the Segmentum Ultima, located equidistant from the Maelstrom and Ork-controlled world of Jagga, arose the Astramarines. Created from the gene-seed of the Marines Errant Chapter, the Astramarines' ranks were quickly swelled by a rigorous recruitment campaign, orchestrated by Chapter Master Galos Kayen. Kayen, while a dedicated captain and Marine Errant, considered himself a son of Guilliman first, and a Marine Errant second. This philosophy was quickly instilled into the Chapter's initiates, who took their Ultramarines heritage as far more than a source of pride. They saw their Primarch as the ultimate aspiration of everything they could hope to be, and emulated their progenitors, the Ultramarines, as closely as they could.

 

Nothing wrong here, some worship of your ancestors is good in my book.

 

For the earliest portion of its existence, the Chapter only dedicated itself sparingly in campaigns north of the Maelstrom, as Kayen only took with him the best of his Astramarine initiates- only they, in his eyes, were deserving of the kinds of glory the Ultramarines had once won in the years following the Horus Heresy. This strategy, while allowing the Astramarines to quickly build and maintain their numbers, left most of the initiates dangerously inexperienced next to Kayen's bloodied First Company Veterans.

 

Firstly new initiates will always be inexperienced compared to First Company Veterans.

 

Secondly a chaptermaster is supposed to lead a chapter not a company. While he could hang around with the First for sometime I think one of his co-founders or captains would say something if the rest of the chapter didn't see battle. Other chapters and/or the Inquistition might find it odd that a full strenght chapter only deploys a single company.

 

This became clear in the Astramarines' first full-scale campaign against an Orkish incursion on Raelis IV. First Company, under Kayen's personal direction, blazed a path through the Orkish hordes, racking up a body count “that befits only the heirs of Ultramar”. The other two companies in the campaign, Fourth and Fifth, did not progress nearly as quickly as First Company did, and took significantly heavier losses- seventy-nine Battle Brothers in all, next to the thirteen Space Marines lost out of the entirety of First Company.

 

I don't think a chaptermaster who want's to coppy the Ultramarines as much as possibly would lead the first company personally. The Ultramarines have a first captain for that. Also a chaptermaster who cannot effeciently command a force bigger then a company seems like the wrong guy for the job. And the First Company is bound to have a higher body count because they are the veterans of the chapter and have acces to all kinds of cool stuff. (mastercrafted weapons, Terminator armour, etc.)

 

Chapter Master Kayen chose this moment to realize something else- he had violated the Codex Astartes by committing so much of the Chapter to a single engagement. Viewing his foolishness as a personal insult to the memory of his Primarch, he took only a single squad from the First and Second Companies to hold the line

 

Nothing wrong with committing your chapter to a single engagement. The Fire Hawks, Fire Angels and the Minotaurs did it during the Babab war. It also seems wrong to have him staying behind if his vission of the chapter don't allign with that of his second in command.

 

Initially, the Astramarines were a codex chapter, but since the Lapenian Reform (as they are known amongst the Battle Brothers), Second, Third, Fourth and Fifth Companies are comprised of six Tactical and four Devastator Squads. As part of the same shift, Sixth and Seventh Companies have gained status as full Battle Companies, and are composed of seven Tactical Squads and three Devastator Squads. Eighth Company remains the Assault Company, but is now also a full Battle Company, although it is rarely fielded as such, as elements of the Company between two and five squads strong are typically deployed alongside Chapter expeditions. The only true reserve Company left in the Chapter is Ninth Company. As per the Codex, Tenth Company is comprised of the Chapter's scouts.

 

Seems like the chaptermaster's second in command had very different plans for the chapter.

I think such a radical change would be beter if it came from the ninth company captain. Might be beter if the chaptermaster died along with his most trusted captains and much of the chapter. Also this change in organization doesn't seem like it needs to be in the chapter. You could just say that after losing much of their brothers they began to fight defensivly. Prefering to fight from cover and moving in when the enemy is keeping their heads down instead of out in the open. You could also just have them prefering range combat. The Dark Angels seem to prefer it as do other chapters.

 

Overall pretty good.

[Tyther]

Firstly new initiates will always be inexperienced compared to First Company Veterans.

 

Secondly a chaptermaster is supposed to lead a chapter not a company. While he could hang around with the First for sometime I think one of his co-founders or captains would say something if the rest of the chapter didn't see battle. Other chapters and/or the Inquistition might find it odd that a full strenght chapter only deploys a single company.

 

Argh. I was going for a different angle. I meant to refer to the years in which the Chapter was still building its numbers and hadn't come anywhere near its 1000 Space Marines yet. The Chapter Master just took the First Company, which was already fully formed, while the others were still being built from the ground up. These are the years when maybe one campaign separates those in First Company from the 'regular' Space Marines in the rest of the Chapter. But I will concede that 'initiates' does convey the thought of Tenth Company.

 

I don't think a chaptermaster who want's to coppy the Ultramarines as much as possibly would lead the first company personally. The Ultramarines have a first captain for that. Also a chaptermaster who cannot effeciently command a force bigger then a company seems like the wrong guy for the job. And the First Company is bound to have a higher body count because they are the veterans of the chapter and have acces to all kinds of cool stuff. (mastercrafted weapons, Terminator armour, etc.)

 

I was going for this, to some extent. The Chapter Master, a former Captain, could command effectively (more below), but was most experienced in the command of a company. Meanwhile, his obsession with his Ultramarines heritage would cause him to- overreact. In summary, by trying to emulate the ancestors he revered so much, he became less like them, and more like an alcohol-fogged vision of them (to use a non-Astartes analogy). I will admit that does need work, though. Any suggestions on how to improve it?

 

Also- I understand that First Company would make more progress, but this took place in the Chapter's formative years, and so such equipment would be in short supply compared to later eras (I'll make sure it's clearer when everything happened). A comparison of their campaign progress was the goal- First Company was meant to sweep across continents and eliminate Orks despite determined resistance, while the two other companies in the campaign were meant to slog along, making determined but limited contributions in the face of that same resistance.

 

Nothing wrong with committing your chapter to a single engagement. The Fire Hawks, Fire Angels and the Minotaurs did it during the Babab war. It also seems wrong to have him staying behind if his vission of the chapter don't allign with that of his second in command.

 

Really? 950+ Space Marines? I need to brush up on my lore. Thanks for pointing that out. Were they Codex-compliant in doing so, though? Jut because another Chapter did it doesn't necessarily mean it's Codex. But good point nevertheless.

 

As for why he stayed behind, it wasn't because the second-in-command didn't agree with him, it was because of his own ego. Like I wrote in the IA, he viewed his (relative) strategic ineptitude as an insult to his Primarch, and staying behind was his penance for what he had done. In creating Kayen, I was going for a character who, while not completely incompetent (although sometimes close to it), was too enamored with his progenitor Chapter for his own good. While he was under the framework of the Marines Errant and their Chapter Master, this was kept in check, as he had his orders and carried them out, but when he became Chapter Master, he had nobody to answer to, and his fantasies took hold of him. Is there a way to better convey that sense?

 

Seems like the chaptermaster's second in command had very different plans for the chapter.

I think such a radical change would be beter if it came from the ninth company captain. Might be beter if the chaptermaster died along with his most trusted captains and much of the chapter. Also this change in organization doesn't seem like it needs to be in the chapter. You could just say that after losing much of their brothers they began to fight defensivly. Prefering to fight from cover and moving in when the enemy is keeping their heads down instead of out in the open. You could also just have them prefering range combat. The Dark Angels seem to prefer it as do other chapters.

 

I was going for a conscious effort to differentiate the Chapter from the Ultramarines- reminders to future Captains and Chapter Masters that despite being Ultramarines successors, they cannot, and never will be, Ultramarines, and that it's best not to try. It was implemented specifically to safeguard against the kinds of things that happened early in the Chapter's history, and was only put in by the old First Captain because of the disaster he witnessed. I do understand your suggestion that the captain of one of the 'further down' companies make the transition though. I'll have to think about it.

 

Thanks for the critique. I appreciate the suggestions, and there's stuff to think about.

[Shinzaren]

A relatively young chapter, the Astramarines once allowed their pride to get the better of them. Chastened by an early defeat and the mistakes of their past, the Chapter's current generation guard against the folly of their first days, all the while seeking to forge their own legacy in the Imperium.

Defeat doesn't seem to be a strong enough word for what you want here. Devastating loss or something, if it is significant to mention intro the paragraph.

 

“Welcome, initiates. You have stepped into the halls of the Emperor's service. From this day on, you will be the razor edge of his will, the crushing strength of his judgment. You will be the worthy heirs of his greatest son.”

-Chapter Master Galos Kayen to a group of neophytes-

*Snip* Typical Astartes talk of future awesomeness *Snip*

 

This is lacking mightily in character. The purpose of the quotes is to give the reader a quick view inside the heads of some of your marines. This is pretty generic.

 

Kayen, while a dedicated captain and Marine Errant, considered himself a son of Guilliman first, and a Marine Errant second.

This seems a bit odd, as marines are drilled from the moment of induction into the deepest bonds of brotherhood with their fellow marines, and the most steadfast feelings of honor and loyalty to their Chapter. I doubt a Captain of the Marines Errant is going put his Chapter second to anyone.

 

This philosophy was quickly instilled into the Chapter's initiates, who took their Ultramarines heritage as far more than a source of pride. They saw their Primarch as the ultimate aspiration of everything they could hope to be, and emulated their progenitors, the Ultramarines, as closely as they could.

Again, Marines Errant training cadre, teaching Marines Errant combat/beliefs. They would believe in Gulliman and his greatness, but why would all these marines point to Macragge instead of the Marines Errant as an example of what to be? Seems like a betrayal of the ME.

 

For the earliest portion of its existence, the Chapter only dedicated itself sparingly in campaigns north of the Maelstrom, as Kayen only took with him the best of his Astramarine initiates- only they, in his eyes, were deserving of the kinds of glory the Ultramarines had once won in the years following the Horus Heresy.

This is true for all chapters. They all only take the most worthy. Hence, the long and incredibly arduous trials to become a marine.

 

This strategy, while allowing the Astramarines to quickly build and maintain their numbers, left most of the initiates dangerously inexperienced next to Kayen's bloodied First Company Veterans. This became clear in the Astramarines' first full-scale campaign against an Orkish incursion on Raelis IV. First Company, under Kayen's personal direction, blazed a path through the Orkish hordes, racking up a body count “that befits only the heirs of Ultramar”. The other two companies in the campaign, Fourth and Fifth, did not progress nearly as quickly as First Company did, and took significantly heavier losses- seventy-nine Battle Brothers in all, next to the thirteen Space Marines lost out of the entirety of First Company.

Space Marines are still Space Marines... Also, your Chapter Master now seems like a elitist jerk.

 

Upon seeing the disproportionate losses among his forces, Kayen, in a moment that historians to this day argue was either of clarity or madness, attempted to change how he had been handling his chapter. Those arguing the former point to his decrees, while those insisting on the latter point out how they were implemented. Kayen came to the conclusion that his selection of forces had the effect of coddling the vast majority of his Space Marines- those who he did not take had no experience besides their training and their pre-Astartes lives. While hardly easy, this was a far cry from the brutal Orks and merciless Traitor Marines that the First Company had been warring against. Vowing that “every Astartes of Cabalus will make Guilliman weep with pride”, Kayen took the entire Chapter, save for a small unit of veterans, initiates and servitors, in what the Chapter now calls the Crusade of the Crashing Stars.

Now he just seems a bit lost. I dunno about Kayen. As a protagonist, I find him extremely unlikable and more than a little foolish.

 

“We cannot abandon our fortress-monastery. We must decline your plea.”

“We require assistance! Our defenses are being overrun! Where is the rest of the Chapter?”

“... elsewhere.”

-Vox exchange between Techmarine Derinos Lukas and PDF Frigate 'Guiding Light'-

Too much foreshadowing.

 

The Crusade began well at first, winning decisive victories against relatively small warbands of Word Bearers Chaos Marines and Cultists, and giving the other companies of the Astramarines much-needed experience against the Emperor's deadliest foes. But as they progressed, the Word Bearers forces became more and more numerous, attack became defense, and invasion became entrenchment. The Astramarines, despite having almost their entire strength concentrated in a single theater of war, were paralyzed, hemmed in by seas of flesh and Chaos-imbued ceramite. Chapter Master Kayen chose this moment to realize something else- he had violated the Codex Astartes by committing so much of the Chapter to a single engagement.

Where in the Codex does it say this? Chapter wide deployments happen all the time in response to any threat grave enough to warrant such. This is no break in the Codex.

 

Viewing his foolishness as a personal insult to the memory of his Primarch, he took only a single squad from the First and Second Companies to hold the line as the remaining Astramarines were extracted into orbit for return to Cabalus- something of a chore, as every squad in both companies volunteered to stay behind. While for the most part the extraction went as planned, the Strike Cruiser Edict of Vindication was lost to enemy fire, costing the Chapter its Fifth and Ninth Companies. Stung by their losses and their ignominious withdrawal, the Astramarine Chapter fleet limped home. But losses on the campaign were to be the least of their worries.

Yeah, now Kayen just seems really lost, and it seems to me that he had no business being in the big chair. He obviously has no eye for the wider view of running a whole Chapter of Astartes.

 

Coinciding with the end of the Crusade was an Ork WAAAGH! on Perithan Prime, which went unopposed save for the efforts of the local Planetary Defense Forces. The token force of Astramarines on nearby Cabalus could not respond without abandoning their homeworld and fortress-monastery, and so they did not. Perithan Prime fell in short order. Ork Boss Drull Rockstompa, triumphant over his victory, invaded Cabalus next. The Orks butchered millions and burned huge swathes of the landscape. All the Astramarines could send in response were detachments of squad strength, which were always beaten back, although not without inflicting disproportionate losses on the foul xenos.

While this history is doing a good job of explaining why the Astramarines are the way they are now, it seems a bit... down. Your marines look like incompetent losers. Not sure if that was the goal or not...

 

-“You besmirch the name of our Primarch, Chapter Master! Guilliman weeps this day because of you!”

“Guilliman weeps at the pride of fools!”

-Exchange between Chapter Master Mikolis Lapenos and Veteran Brother-Sergeant Jelim Tevas, moments before Tevas' beheading by Lapenos-

When listing multiple people in quotes, list them in the order they are talking. Since Tevas is speaking first, he should go before Lapenos. Also... Seriously? Your Chapter Master just beheaded a Veteran Sergeant for that...? That seems pretty extreme. Foolishly so.

 

 

But little was not none, and the protests increased in frequency and volume when Lapenos began to reorganize the Chapter as a fighting unit, eliminating the Assault Marine complements in each Battle Company and replacing them with Devastator Squads, as well as adding Devastator units to the Sixth and Seventh Reserve Companies and making them full Battle Companies. In addition, Lapenos adjusted the company-level attack and defense tactics. There was an uproar. To deviate from the Codex Astartes was heresy, opponents of the shift cried, a betrayal of the Astramarines' legacy as Ultramarines successors and as sons of Roboute Guilliman.

What purposes do these changes serve? Every other chapter does just fine with Assault Squads. Why would this change help the Astramarines at all, besides inciting issues over the codex?

 

Lapenos bit back at his critics, pointing out that Kayen's idolization of the Ultramarines had already humiliated the Chapter once, and that if that was the legacy they desired for the scions of such glorious fathers, they could have it. While most complaints died out after this, the transition was uneasy, and is marked in the Chapter's records by a general lethargy in recruitment efforts and delayed responses to reports of xenos threats that lasts almost the entirety of Lapenos' stewardship of the Astramarines

This is unworthy of Astartes. They are living weapons, created to fight the enemies of man. This just reinforces the earlier ideas that your marines are bumbling fools who can't their act together and get stuff done.

 

The Chapter records do not explain this lull, but it can be reasonably posited that in-fighting between Lapenos' supporters and his detractors distracted the chapter as a whole. This inactivity became the cause of an Inquisitorial investigation, which ended extremely quickly, although neither the Astramarines nor the Ordo Hereticus have detailed why.

Yeah... you should explain at some point. Mystery like this doesn't help your chapter.

 

It was here that the tactics that Chapter Master Lapenos detailed came into their own, the theories he detailed being tested and refined against the finest of enemies. The Black Stars assaulted the Astramarines' established defensive positions, but made little headway. When the traitors' attacks ran out of momentum, the Astramarines powered forward, a wall of ceramite and bolter shells. What they lacked in mobility by losing the standard Assault squads they gained in the volume of metal they could pour into their opponents from the front, laying down devastating fire with twice the amount of heavy weaponry that standard Codex companies could field. That is not to say that victory was easy- one hundred and fifty three Battle Brothers were killed on Atticus- but when weighed against the utter obliteration of four renegade companies, the men of Cabalus were clearly the better off of the two forces.

So the Astramarines have bettered the Codex Astartes; meaning that, in essence, they have bettered Gulliman. Is that right?

 

On Epheshior, Kylion adhered to the tactics proven at Atticus- to no avail. The Howling Vault- the fortress of the Black Stars- was as well-fortified as any Space Marine chapter's base of operations. The Black Stars had nothing to gain, and much to lose, by attacking Kylion, when they could simply wait for him to attack with inferior numbers. What was more, the Astramarines had arrived with a force wholly unsuited to how they had fought at Atticus- one of their three companies was composed entirely of Assault Marines. Any attack would surely be suicidal.

Blow by blow battles are boring. Also, how did he have a whole company of Assault Marines if your old Chapter Master got rid of them?

 

After several months of pointless siege, Kylion decided to move in, but instead of committing his Assault Marines with the rest of the attack, blasted at the gates of the Howling Vault with his two Companies for two solid days. The Black Stars laughed and prepared to overwhelm the attackers- until the roof of their fortifications fell in. The Astramarines' Eighth Company used the distraction provided by the frontal attack to surprise the Black Stars, and defeated the units stationed throughout the fortress-monastery piecemeal, despite numerous attempts by the Black Stars to link up and destroy the threat. Rapid and well-coordinated strikes whittled down the renegade defenders while the bulk of the Astramarines continued to pound at the front entrance. When the doors finally gave way, the remaining Black Stars were caught in a pincer attack, and were slaughtered to a man.

Battles are boring.

 

The Howling Vault was conquered, but a second fortress-monastery never materialized. Epheshior was subjected to Exterminatus shortly afterwards. Although disappointed, the Astramarines returned to Cabalus redeemed. All questions about their competence and loyalty had vanished, and the Cadrin sector campaign was followed by a string of minor, albeit well-deserved, victories against Orkish and Chaotic depredations, cementing the Chapter's reputation as one that had overcome its early embarrassments and fully matured. Upon hearing about the Thirteenth Black Crusade, the Chapter's senior staff sent the First and Seventh Companies to assist in the defense. As of the time of writing, they are en route to the Cadian Gate.

Don't the time of the writing. IAs are written at an indeterminate amount of time, so you can avoid tangling yourself (the author) with events of the 40k universe.

 

“You call this a storm?”

Battle Brother Alexios Kator to Imperial Guard General Paulus Kampf during a hurricane on Meldis II

 

Cabalus III sits on the edge of the habitable zone of its star, and as such has cooler temperatures than are typically expected from a Civilized World. Its two moons, Master and Disciple, host small settlements as well, although these are little more than towns to house workers for the mines that dot the moons' surfaces. Shipping traffic typically between the planet and its moons typically consists of either metal being sent to Cabalus' surface for refining, or food being shipped to the miners, who have no way to produce it themselves. Cabalus has no plentiful resources, though, and typically has to import foodstocks from nearby worlds. Its moons allow it to make minor exports of metal and semiprecious stones to nearby systems, but the world's largest contribution to the Imperium is in the form of Astartes initiates.

 

Over sixty percent of Cabalus is covered in ocean. There are three primary landmasses- Lacedos, Penkratos and Militaeion, as well as an assortment of small islands around the coast of each one. All three continents border the comparatively small Oculus Sea on one side, and the titanic Tempestus Mundum Ocean on the other. It is a commonly accepted fact on the planet that crossing a landmass to get to a port on the Oculus Sea is far safer than taking a ship to cross the Tempestus Mundum.

 

Lacedos is far and away the largest continent, and the majority of the planet's four billion people live on it. Its soil is somewhat fertile, but not abundantly so, and the same is true of minerals and other natural resources. As a result, the various nation-states scattered beneath its surface constantly politick and war for influence and resources, and the authority of individual leaders is tied almost directly to how far their capitals are from their borders. The continent's size has had the effect of terrible storms and extremes of heat and (especially) cold on its interior, in comparison to the mostly mild conditions on its Oculus coastline. For the most part, cities are built underground, partially in emulation of the Astramarines' own Deep Tower, and partially out of common sense. Those who grow the continent's food, referred to as 'Storm-rats' in various local colloquialisms, are forced to stay above the surface to ensure that the great tunnel-cities of their lords do not starve. It is from these individuals that the Astramarines draw the greatest portion of their recruits.

 

Penkratos, the next largest landmass, has several well-settled areas near the coast, but further inland, the soil gives way to a vast rocky desert, unsuited to life. From time to time, the Astramarines will monitor the few nomadic tribes of the desert for suitable Astartes candidates, but this is exceedingly rare- of the entire Chapter's current roster, only two marines hail from this region.

 

Militaeion is, as far as Imperial records go, uninhabited. Vast swathes of the land are covered in jungle, and whatever is not covered in trees is underwater. Three massive rivers cut through the forest, and numerous lakes feature the landscape. There is some evidence that earlier cultures did attempt to establish colonies here, but no currently-settled areas exist.

This is a TON of information on the Homeworld, none of which has ANY effect on your Astramarines. Detailed idea for worlds is fine and all, but they need to be in context and add something to the IA. How did it shape the recruits and the chapter? Are any of these geographical features significant to the Astramarines in anyway?

 

Situated on a small rocky island in the middle of the Oculus Sea, the modest three-level structure housing the entrance to the Deep Tower has a lit beacon that shines at all times, letting all that traverse these waters see the Emperor's Light from a great distance. A landing pad capable of accomodating several of the Chapter's Thunderhawks sits adjacent to the building. Once inside, a spiraling series of steps leads down roughly one hundred meters and enters a large semicircular chamber. Across from the stairs are twenty meter-high double doors of gold-painted ceramite, with three reliefs carved into the doors- in the center, head and shoulders taller than the rest, stands Roboute Guilliman, to his left stands Galos Kayen, and to his right is Avas Marneil, Chapter Master of the Marines Errant during the formation of the Astramarines.

 

The next few layers down are dedicated to quarters for the Astramarines who are not on tours of duty, as well as the Chapter's Armory and Librarium, where Astramarines are encouraged to learn their Chapter's history- or at least what histories the Librarium has made available. Over half the records present relate to the Ultramarines. Training facilities are also present, and while these are most often occupied by the Chapter's initiates, fully-fledged Astartes are a common sight.

 

The deepest portion of the Deep Tower is the fortress-monastery's chapel. Inside this vaulted hall, dozens of alcoves display the Chapter banners carried on every one of the Astramarines' campaigns, and hundreds more stand empty, awaiting the standards of battles to come. As the Astramarines insist on bringing their Chapter's relics with them to battle, only one relic is stored in the Chapel. The thunder hammer Atonement's Fist, wielded only once by each Chapter Master against a deserving enemy, lies across an altar of polished marble, and dates back to the founding of the Astramarines as a Chapter. Every day at dusk, a chaplain holds a service in the chapel and blesses the hammer, thanking the Emperor for the honor of serving in his name and thanking him again for the tools he gives the Astartes to accomplish their task. Attendance is not mandatory, but many Astartes do come.

Relevance? So they a fortress monastery. Cool. What about this shapes the Chapter? How does it influence who they are?

 

 

.... I will critique the rest when I am better rested! Some stuff to think about though.

[Shinzaren]

Organization

 

“Sacrilege is unacceptable. Innovation is not.”

-Attributed to Chapter Master Mikolis Lapenos-

 

Initially, the Astramarines were a codex chapter, but since the Lapenian Reform (as they are known amongst the Battle Brothers), Second, Third, Fourth and Fifth Companies are comprised of six Tactical and four Devastator Squads. As part of the same shift, Sixth and Seventh Companies have gained status as full Battle Companies, and are composed of seven Tactical Squads and three Devastator Squads. Eighth Company remains the Assault Company, but is now also a full Battle Company, although it is rarely fielded as such, as elements of the Company between two and five squads strong are typically deployed alongside Chapter expeditions. The only true reserve Company left in the Chapter is Ninth Company. As per the Codex, Tenth Company is comprised of the Chapter's scouts.

These changes are never really explained or reasoned, and you haven't really justified them at all...

 

The Chapter's Librarians and Techmarines walk a thin line. As with any Space Marine Chapter, the Astramarines are hugely paranoid, viewing the Librarians' psychic abilities as potential doorways to corruption and the Adeptus Mechanicus' adoption of the Machine Cult as a dangerous deviation, as the Emperor was a man- a man kept alive by machines, but a man all the same. That said, they are tolerated by the Astramarines for the flexibility they afford the Chapter's Battle Brothers, and are viewed as valuable allies in the field. A terse statement by an unknown Space Marine perhaps sums it up best: an Astramarine will trust a Librarian or Techmarine with his life, but not with his secrets.

Not all Space Marines are suspicious. Other than that, this is fairly typical. Most Chapters trust their Librarians and their Techmarines to a degree, relying on them to do what they do, while at the same time keeping them from the deepest circles of trust within the chapter.

 

Astramarine tactics are centered heavily around ranged combat, with Devastator Squads blanketing an area with heavy fire to pin the enemy in place and weaken them while the Tactical Marines move in. Force Commanders and Captains tend to be defensively-minded, seeking the best positions for the Devastators to situate themselves while laying down fire, so that casualties inflicted on the enemy are not repaid in kind. This tactic was laid down first by Chapter Master Lapenos, but only became accepted Chapter-wide after its successful implementation on Atticus.

Space Marines attack. They strike hard and fast at the heart of the enemy, before moving on. Defending is a time sink, and the Astartes are needed elsewhere, all the time. Astartes truly exemplify the motto of 'The best defense is a good offense.' Your Astramarines are completely counter to that, and you are needlessly breaking from the Codex and hallowed Gulliman for no real reason.

 

Chaplains, when deployed, are typically sent in alongside tactical squads, howling litanies as they do so, although the rank-and-file Marines have opined that they would be more useful leading Assault detachments, given their propensity towards melee combat. On the other hand, the chapter's Librarians stay with the Devastator squads, lending support from a distance with their psychic powers. Astramarine Techmarines are rarely dispatched alongside the bulk of the chapter's expeditionary forces. Instead, a Techmarine usually operates with a single tactical squad, capturing or destroying key points in order to shape the battlefield to the Astramarines' best advantage.

Eh, somewhat interesting, but this paragraph could be cut, adding little to an already bloated IA.

 

Scout elements are also utilized heavily by the Astramarines as skirmish units, harassing enemy formations and drawing key elements away from the main body for defeat in detail by the rest of the combat force, or attacking from multiple directions to confuse the enemy about the location of the Astramarines' forces and delaying encounters until the right moment so the rest of the force can inflict maximal damage. While this goes some way beyond their duty as 'scouts', the Astramarines reason that exposure to more danger prepares them better for their lives as full-fledged Astartes of the chapter, although they stop short of ordering the neophytes into the thick of firefights.

Eh, this is pretty standard for most Chapter's scouts. The Scouts set em up, and the Battle Companies knock em down.

 

Force Commanders also have a tendency to hold back any Eighth Company Marines they have until victory is almost guaranteed. This allows them to maximize the effect of an aerial attack, since the enemy will only ever face it once, and thus be unprepared when it comes, having had to deal with a ground-based assault for the entire battle. All officers in command of an Assault Marine complement look to Captain Kylion's assault against the Howling Vault on Epheshior as inspiration for their current tactics. Elements of the Eighth are typically sent in to capture or kill high-value targets, or to wreak havoc on weak sections of an enemy army and break their morale. Against the utterly insane forces of Chaos, however, their role becomes one of preventing escape. Curiously for the tactically-meticulous Astramarines, it is this simple role the Assault Marines enjoy the most.

So the Assault Marines function like the Assault Marines of every chapter, only there are way less of them...

 

Like all Space Marine Chapters, the Astramarines see the Emperor of Mankind as the pinnacle of human form and power, and believe in His vision of an Imperium of Man ruling the entire galaxy. The chapter also honors Primarch Roboute Guilliman as the Emperor's son and as the tactical genius who penned the Codex Astartes.

The same Codex you chucked out the window because your first Chapter Master was a dunce?

 

In a slight deviation, though, the Astramarines believe that it was Guilliman's dedication to victory that made him so great. What it has means for them is a greater ease in the application of their somewhat unorthodox combat doctrine in the field. It brings victory for the Imperium, and so Guilliman would be happy, they reason.

The Codex covers literally every possible scenario and deployment. Why are your self described 'young and green marines' tossing this and going their own way? A son of the Wolves... maybe. Sons of Gulliman? I don't buy it, especially not when they started to gung-ho about Gulliman.

 

 

While this aspect of their claim is clear, what is not clear is why the Astramarines have singled out Guilliman for this distinction, as the other loyal Primarchs can hardly be accused of not standing against the Emperor's enemies. The Chapter's shift during the Lapenian reform and its victories on Atticus and Epheshior has also lead to the veneration of Imperial Fists Primarch Rogal Dorn, who is admired for his Astartes' defense of Terra against Horus' Traitor legions.

Eh? Didn't they assault constantly on both these worlds and battles? How does Dorn's defense of the palace earn them praise in context with these two battles?

 

While the Astramarines do not revere Dorn nearly as much as they do Guilliman, he, his chapter and their successors have the Astramarines' respect. The same cannot be said of the Space Wolves, however. Deviation from established rules to produce victory is one thing, in their opinion, but ignoring such rules altogether is sacrilege and blasphemy. Many count the Astramarines wise to not voice their opinion directly to the sons of Fenris, although others contend that the Space Wolves have better things to worry about than the words of a young successor chapter.

You deviate just the same, without the 10,000 years of history, the massively massive stack of victories, and the web of alliances dating back to the Great Crusade. Seems like you don't have a lot of right to judge them at all for breaking Codex. At least theirs are justified by the fact that they doing what Russ wanted. You still haven't properly reasoned all your breaks from the Codex, nor explained why they are better than Gulliman's ideas. Seems a bit contradictory.

 

 

 

Well... I like the idea of hero-worshiping the Ultramarines to the point of failed emulation. You lost me when such devoted sons of Gulliman tossed his book out the window for literally no reason. You never really explained the reorganization and why it was done, or how it is better than the other 999 chapters who use the book. Other than that, these guys seem pretty decent. The character of the Chapter is there, just needs to be focused and expanded. The Origins is just a series of stories at the moment however, and could reworked to show more emphasis on what these battles meant to the chapter, rather than just talking about the fights. The Homeworld section is similarly messy, with lots and lots of information of the planet; most of which barely relates to the Astramarines at all. Every section and every word in the IA should tie directly to the Astramarines go towards explaining who they are, and why they are that way. Don't list facts and let them sit. Explain why they matter to the Astramarines, and what effect these things have on the chapter as a whole.

 

All in all, not a bad start. Looking forward to seeing how they progress.

[Tyther]

Thanks for the critique, especially the criticism. It's hard to look at it straight and not be defensive or dismissive, but it helps. The tone of the Astramarines wasn't meant to be a discarding of the Codex- if that's what I've conveyed, then big mistake on my part. It was supposed to be an evolution of the codex's basic tenets grounded in a desire to avoid repeating the mistakes of an over-zealous Chapter Master, but evidently something in the mix went wrong. And other chapters do diverge from the Codex- although I would suppose they have concrete grounding for it, although each one that has does effectively send the message 'Guilliman didn't understand our situation'- a Chapter that doesn't appreciate pride wouldn't say, that, though, so I concede the point.

 

As for Atticus- I had not thought of that. The implications would be damning, lore-wise. Revising now.

 

One thing about the section on their overall strategic outlook, however: does that mean, then, that the only direction for a Chapter is to go from attack-oriented to MORE attack-oriented, or else stay textbook-straight? Along the intended strategic tone of the chapter- any recommendations for a 'wear them out, roll them up' style of warfare?

 

About the Scouts- fair enough. Expanding their role.

 

Chapter outlook on Librarians/Techs: removing that. I suppose they deserved some mention, but I do agree that this IA is too long. Oh, first drafts...

 

I'll be taking a look at the early battles to assess relevance.

 

Thanks again for taking the time to look this over and offer your opinion. Once more, suggestions always welcome.