recon0321 Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 here is my latest stab at a DIY chapter...i am really not that great at coming up with fluff but here is my best shot comments are welcome and encouraged Founding Guillimans Eagles were founded during the third founding Gene-seed Ultramarine's successors Beliefs Guillimans Eagles also share a extreme hatred for the word bearers for their atrocities they committed against the Ultramarine's During the Heresy..they are know to hunt down any leads that could possibly bring them to grips with Logar and his misguided sons. to better combat the effects of the warp and the risk of chaos taint they chapter fields special veteran squads that are lead by librarians. these squads are know as retribution squads and only consider of 5 marines including the librarian. Every marine in these squads have special wards carved into their armor by the chapters most senior librarians. these squads also have a different symbol on their shoulder pads to differentiate them, a white eagles head it is also command to see these veteran marines in a command squad. Combat Doctrine They follow the Codex Astartes although not a rigidly as most of their cousin chapters. They view the codex as a guide book for war rather than its word being stuck in stone, their squad designation is red on a blue field and goes on the right shoulder with the squad number on the left knee pad. although the Guilliman's Eagles are a codex adherent chapter they are known to commit orbital bombardments before any assault in order to soften up their intended target. Also they rely heavily on their Dreadnoughts for wisdom and are often seen leading battle formations. the chapter also uses several different combat formations not seen outside the chapter. the tech marines take some of the basic STC rhino construct and add vox casters that loop the religious dogma and add hurricane bolters to the sides for their use by their retribution squads and devastator marines. Due to the extra weapon armament these Rhinos can only hold 5 marines, with the rest of the space taken up my ammo and the Hurricane bolters. these close support weapon platforms give the squads much need fire support as well spiritual support while fighting the foul denizens of the warp. they use these special rhinos in conjunction with ironclad dreadnoughts and devastator squads to crack open some of the toughest defenses. Chapter Organization the Chapter does have a Chapter Master however he used his command council consisting of the Six Battle Company captains the head Chaplain, Master Librarian and Master of the Forge decide the future of the chapter, although the chapter master has the final say in any decision. It is not uncommon for the chapter master to not commit any of his forces without the full consent of the Council. Homeworld The Guilliman's Eagles hail from the world of Tartosa, a world known for its large mountain ranges and acidic oceans. Citizens inhabiting Tartosa dwell in the mountains because the oceans have poisoned most of the soil, resulting in very little sustainable life in the lower parts of the mountains. Cruel conditions in the mountains produces tough and hardy warrior clans from which the Chapter selects its initiates. The Chapter's fortress-monastery, known as the Pinnacle, is located in the planet's capital city, Meridian. Each major city is built into the mountains and is guarded over by the Planetary Defense Force, however some locals choose to live a nomadic life and therefore make temporary homes on the sheer cliff sides and rocky crags of the mountains. Appearance Battle Brother Sgts Veterans they use a white eagles wing as their symbol.. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/235349-guillimans-eagles/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rafen_2 Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 At least you got the skeleton of it now maybe some meat. But for now some critique. Founding Guillimans Eagles were founded during the third founding during M32 Only need to say the founding. Gene-seed Ultramarine's successors Beside this you need to say what traits they share and differ in. Combat Doctrine follow the Codex Astartes Same as above. Now for fluff influence... 1) Pick maybe a civilization you like. 2) Base them on an ideal. 3) Try something related to the 40k universe. Maybe a special hatred toward other races or even parts of the imperium themselves. If you need an actual idea someone else might be better to ask, this is just my two cents. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/235349-guillimans-eagles/#findComment-2834170 Share on other sites More sharing options...
recon0321 Posted July 31, 2011 Author Share Posted July 31, 2011 thanks Rafen i have changed a few things and added a couple others...always appreciate the help from my brothers on the B&C. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/235349-guillimans-eagles/#findComment-2834179 Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragonknight4275 Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 You've definitely got a good start, now you just need to flesh things out a little. The Founding: Well, here there isn't really much you can do...... Gene-seed: Rafen_2 nailed it. Try telling us about some unique things about the Chapter. Also, the hatred for Word Bearers is great but it's in the wrong place. Try making a "beliefs" section or add it into Combat Doctrine along with something like "Thus, the Guilliman's Eagles are experts at hunting down and slaying Chaos Space Marines." Just a few details can really help. Combat Doctrine: The lack of company/squad markings is really unique, but realistically in the 40k universe it's a no-no. Without company or squad markings, it seems like the Chapter isn't divided or separate at all, just a single fighting body that never splits, like an Imperial Guard regiment. But the heavy reliance on Dreadnoughts is a nice little touch. :) Chapter Organization: Again, quite cool but it doesn't really work. If there's something that all Space Marine Chapters have in common, it's that they have some kind of Chapter Master. The only time a "council system" would control a Chapter is if the Chapter Master suffered a sudden and untimely death, and even then command usually automatically passes to the 1st Company captain. Homeworld: This part I actually really dig. Just a couple of grammatical errors, but other than that great! Here, I'll rewrite the section all fixed up: The Guilliman's Eagles hail from the world of Tartosa, a world known for its large mountain ranges and acidic oceans. Citizens inhabiting Tartosa dwell in the mountains because the oceans have poisoned most of the soil, resulting in very little sustainable life in the lower parts of the mountains. Cruel conditions in the mountains produces tough and hardy warrior clans from which the Chapter selects its initiates. The Chapter's fortress-monastery, known as the Pinnacle, is located in the planet's capital city, Meridian. Each major city is built into the mountains and is guarded over by the Planetary Defense Force, however some locals choose to live a nomadic life and therefore make temporary homes on the sheer cliff sides and rocky crags of the mountains. Well, there's my advice. Of course, you can ignore or use any of this, it's your article and I have no power over it. These are just changes I think would make it better, IMHO. I hope I've been useful! Good luck Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/235349-guillimans-eagles/#findComment-2846045 Share on other sites More sharing options...
recon0321 Posted August 13, 2011 Author Share Posted August 13, 2011 thanks for the look over the help was awesome and still very much needed...i ve expanded a little and added the beliefs section c&c welcome and wanted Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/235349-guillimans-eagles/#findComment-2846086 Share on other sites More sharing options...
vipertaja Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 I just skimmed through it earlier and thought I'd mention this. There is a curious contrast in the depiction of the army, in that it takes turns in describing how fanatically they follow the codex astartes and how considerably they deviate from it. Kind of odd for such a rigid ultramarines successor chapter (they usually just march lockstep according to codex astartes). This is not to say you should change anything necessarily. Just found it curious. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/235349-guillimans-eagles/#findComment-2846356 Share on other sites More sharing options...
recon0321 Posted August 13, 2011 Author Share Posted August 13, 2011 What statements confused you if I may ask Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/235349-guillimans-eagles/#findComment-2846399 Share on other sites More sharing options...
vipertaja Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 What statements confused you if I may ask Well, it's mainly that they follow the codex astartes closely, yet they have special squads with librarians? They use strategies that others don't? Now, even ultramarines themselves have added to their own codex after Guilliman got taken out (tyrannic war veterans), but the successor chapters that rigidly follow the codex tend to have no imagination, they just tend to follow the book to the letter. Your chapter sounds like a chapter that doesn't follow the book as closely and has improvised. There is nothing wrong with what your chapter does, it just seems a tad contradicting in the description. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/235349-guillimans-eagles/#findComment-2846417 Share on other sites More sharing options...
recon0321 Posted August 13, 2011 Author Share Posted August 13, 2011 Well I have made a few changes as far as following the codex Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/235349-guillimans-eagles/#findComment-2846469 Share on other sites More sharing options...
vipertaja Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Well I have made a few changes as far as following the codex Yeah, I think it cleared it up for me. ;) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/235349-guillimans-eagles/#findComment-2846484 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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