IA- Templars Ursine

[Ring-around-the-roses]

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-The combat doctrine of the of the Templars Ursine has often been summed up by its Librarius historians in a three simple words; Support, Defend, Destroy. It can be broken down into many sub-categories, but it is a well known fact that they will always fight on their ground, on their terms. This is never more obvious in their main divergence of the Codex Astartes; their dependendence on mortal forces. Wherever they go, they are almost always followed by a massive supply train. Cargo ships, salvage ships, colony ships, their supply train always stretches back many months, and provides for a grinding war of attrition that few can match.

Among their other divergences, it has been noted that the Chapter often leaves a garrison on those colonies that it defends. Follwing in the footsteps of Garion Vect, the Chapter will spend years, sometimes even decades planting the seeds of war among the populace. Each part of the Chapter has a set area to build. The Chaplaincy will instill a warrior creed, touring through its most distant towns and dankest slums to whip a frenzy of belief into their shattered souls. The Techmarines will build massive manufactorums, drill through the earth for that most needed of substances, iron, and teach a select few hundred of the outer layers of machine working, carefull never to move beyond the proscribed dictates of the Mechanicum. The Librarius plays a much more shadowy part, its workings known only to the Chapter Master himself.

When it goes on the attack, the Chapter is famous among its brethren for the use of pre-fabricated defenses, dropping bastions, defense lines, ammunition and even tanks straight into the midst of battle, creating a ring of steel that no enemy can destroy with ease. From this they will expand and expand, dropping more guns and ammo as needed. Often, the enemy will respond to this by throwing its strongest forces at this show of strength, all the while the true might of the Chapter lands in near complete safety. The big guns, the vindicators, whirlwinds, razorbacks and more will assemble before unleashing a true firestorm at the enemy. This is often enough to break most units, though those who are foolish enough to not run will die all the same.

Though individual Seige-Lords will differ in their tactics, the overwhelming firepower and total destruction of the enemy is still total. The Seige-Lords are famed for their skills, and often recruits incorporate themsleves into whoever's force they prefer. This leads to most companies having the equivalent of two-four companies worth of Astartes in their ranks. However, to counter this, their will only ever be a handful of Seige-Lords, and political infighting, even duels between the companies is commonplace. This is overlooked mostly by the Inquisition, though the frequent Inquisitorial delegations fighting alongside the Chapter has also earnt them a mixed reputation. Hated by some for their percieved flaunting of power, and respected by others for their efforts in reinforcing the worlds of the Imperium, they will forever be stigmatised by that which defines them.

[Octavulg]

This would really make a lot more sense in the Liber Astartes forum...

[Ring-around-the-roses]

Thank you for the move, had a bit of a brain-drain while typing the whole thing at once.... :P

[Octavulg]

You know, sometimes, there's a problem. And you don't speak up about it. Perhaps out of shame.

 

But today, I must speak. Ladies and gentlemen, I must talk to you about the scourge of PEOPLE NOT USING LINE BREAKS.

 

It's a tragedy of our times, good people. But I have held my tongue long enough. Line breaks are our friends, and we must remind them of this by using them to keep our writing readable.

 

Thank you for your time.

 

Seriously. Proper line breaks are necessary, helpful, and compulsory. ;) If there is one thing that prevents C&C, it's making an IA hard to read, and a lack of line breaks makes things hard to read.

 

founded to protect the outer reaches of the Imperium

 

The outer reaches of the Imperium span the rim of the galaxy...

 

Even in systems that possessed no life, the Chapter would stop and build defences and strongholds, readying the planets for war or colonisation, whichever came first.

 

Problem: empty defenses invite people to move in and turn them into manned defenses. V. bad if they're not people on your side.

 

* * *

 

It looks pretty interesting. But the lack of line breaks makes it hard for me to read it.

 

No, really. :P

 

Anyway: add line breaks. Then I'll be back. :tu:

[Ring-around-the-roses]

Octavulg hath spoken, and so it shall be! In the name of the Emperor, break those lines!

 

And i was just generalising with the whole 'outer reaches of the Imperium, as it allows some leeway when you say Eastern Rim/Fringe instead of Sector......, which would tie the IA down into one area. Not suitable at all for the group i might create. Though i'm going to need a while to launch that off the ground.... :P

[TrashMan]

Interesting chapter

[Octavulg]

Templars Ursa

 

Bear Templars? But...Templars are things. And Bears are things. It's like naming something the Bear Wolves...

 

History- The Templars Ursa were founded to protect the outer reaches of the Imperium, their training cadre mainly sent from their parent successor. Although they had a difficult beginning, they soon rallied under the banner of the then loyalist Abyssal Hunters Chapter. Together with this more aggressive Chapter, they soon worked out a viable battle-plan, with the under-strength battle-brothers of the Templars Ursa the anvil that defended the Imperial colonies, while the Abyssal Hunters took the fight to the enemy, as was their way, deep into the outer space that was far from the reaches of Imperium. There they stayed for near a centurie, utterly wiping out the xenos threat.

 

Parent successor? I know what you mean, but that sounds contradictory.

 

Also, there needs to be more context than this. What colonies, for starters? What enemy?

 

The Templars Ursa, meanwhile, had been busy repairing the damage to their Chapter, recruiting many from those cities and towns that had held out longest, and combing through the wreckage of lost planets for survivors. This, as well as helping the Chapter heal, also allowed them to build a gentle relationship with a few of the colonies, especially as the Chapter Master of the time, Garion Vect, decided to help the largest colonies survive. The battle-brothers rebuilt the shattered walls, turning once bustling cities into Imperial strongholds, able to hold out through attacks many times the garrisons size. Also present was the training of the PDF to a level then unheard of, the already veteran survivors molded into warriors worthy of the attentions of the Chapter. When questioned as to this decision, especially by the Chaplaincy, he merely replied "I do not want to return to a battlefield already won. When this Chapter achieves victory, i want no dishonour staining our laurels. Our duty may not be glorious, but in the name of the Emperor, i will make our few victories last"

 

Garion Vect? Asdurbael's lesser known cousin?

 

The Templars Ursa have always prided themselves on their ability to hold ground, the stubborness of their geneseed as apparent in them as in all those of Rogal Dorn's lineage. It was surprising then, that when they were given leave to settle a homeworld, they chose Worgan VII, a world currently under the control of the Chaos Lord Thirax Aegis, a Iron Warrior warband leader. In hindsight, this was a obvious choice, a chance to test the mettle of their Chapter, and prove to their detractors that they were not afraid to risk all for the good of the Imperium. Though their duties had been mostly defensive, either protecting the colonies or vital shipping, they had learnt much from their more war-like brothers, and combined these doctrines to make a unique attack plan, one which the Iron Warriors had not expected. After a apocyliptic war, one which scarred the system forever, the Chapter claimed its homeworld and drove the Iron Warriors back into the outer darknesss.

 

You know, I often go on about how too much battle detail is the enemy of a good IA. But another sentence or two on conquering their home world would be good. Even a few more adjectives...

 

The fortresses were reconsecrated and repaired, the massive seige peices and stockpiles cleansed where possible, and thrown into the sun when not. In the end, the Chapter was just as dug in as the Iron Warriors had been, their purposes completely different, but the approach to the planet just as deadly. The reason for the traitor warbands conquest of the planet was soon found when there was more than a dozen space-hulk sightings in a single century. These were boarded by the Chapter and taken apart, the most esotericof the technology given to the Mechanicus in return for the huge amount of ammunition needed to supply the new war machines they had reclaimed. The hulks themselves were taken apart, those salvagable peices used to retrofit and upscale their defences and ships, and those that weren't salvageable were melted down to provide raw metal for their many forges.

 

What about the population of the planet?

 

To allay suspicion of their increasing control over the entire system, the Chapter invited both the Inquisition and the Mechanicum to set up outposts in the Chapter, their patronage the informal price for protection and access to this difficult to reach space. The Mechanicum, with its good relations to the Chapter, was happy to set up a small forge within the Chapters domain, no doubt to then influence the Chapters Techmarines. The Inquisiton, ever the conflicting body, officialy condemmed the idea, while several well-respected Ordo Xenos Inquisitors set up bases in around the system, to unofficially lend their considerable experience to the war in the Eastern Rim. So it is to the day, with the Chapter a mixture of ideas and secrets found and ferreted out from both the Inquisitors and the Mechanicum, who frequently now clash over the influence either party has in the Chapter. The Templars Ursa are happy to let this continue, as it gains them much too let the factions fight, all the while they slowly, world by world, turn the Eastern Rim into a fortress of Imperial light.

 

No one would be bothered by a chapter exerting reasonable control over their home world's system, especially if it was uninhabited and the chapter reconquered it.

 

Though individual Seige-Lords will differ in their tactics, the overwhelming firepower and total destruction of the enemy is still total. The Seige-Lords are famed for their skills, and often have the equivalent of two-four companies worth of Astartes in their ranks. This is overlooked mostly by the Inquisition, though the frequent Inquisitorial delegations fighting alongside the Chapter has also earnt them a mixed reputation. Hated by some for their percieved flaunting of power, and respected by others for their efforts in reinforcing the worlds of the Imperium, they will forever be stigmatised by that which defines them.

 

No. Overlarge chapters are a bad thing, and the Inquisition definitely sees it that way. The Black Templars only get away with it by spreading themselves very, very thin and spitting in the eye of anyone who questions them.

 

Beliefs

 

A lot of this feels more like Combat Doctrine than Beliefs.

 

* * *

 

More context is necessary in a lot of places. You also need to work on introducing things as they come up - you only talk about what the planet's like long after the battles with the Iron Warriors, as an example.

 

Go into detail as it comes up and I think things'll be a lot clearer. It's all pretty interesting, but the clarity and presentation could be improved. :P

[Ring-around-the-roses]

This....could take a while. REDO IMMINENT!

 

(Warp travel may affect transit times)

[Ring-around-the-roses]

Afew extra details added, hope to rectify some of the problems that Octavulg pointed out. Though....... :P

 

Iwill be keeping the Name, as i really doubt the people in 40k are going to know perfect Latin, they don't even know they're own language properly(Carcharadon Astra and they're freaky ancient tongues) So, the Chapter calls itself "Knights of the Bear" As in, they fight like bears, and venerate them, while protecting and defending the Imperial citizens, like Knights.

I don't see the problem with the name Garion Vect, as i wasn't thinking of the DE, and it took me hours to figure out what 'Asdurbael's lesser known cousin' meant. Duhhh :) . Anyway, Garion Vect is a nice name i feel, and he definetely isn't the current Chapter Master. Though i could have a fight between the DE and Astartes, where the DE are mocking the Chapter Master for his predeccessors name.

And beliefs, I don't see the problem with also, as it explains why they build crazy- ;) defences everywhere, and intergrate so closely with the colonies they pass. As they will probably have to fight with them later :P and adds another small facet, in that they have a massive library and thirst for defence tomes. Even really odd ones. ;)

 

Please tell me if it needs more work, as i'm really not sure.

[Octavulg]

Iwill be keeping the Name, as i really doubt the people in 40k are going to know perfect Latin, they don't even know they're own language properly(Carcharadon Astra and they're freaky ancient tongues) So, the Chapter calls itself "Knights of the Bear" As in, they fight like bears, and venerate them, while protecting and defending the Imperial citizens, like Knights.

 

Except Templar doesn't mean knight (and isn't Latin, for another - templaris is, but it's an adjective). It literally means "of the temple" (though 40K uses it like a noun, as does modern parlance). Knight is "miles" or "eques" (there's not really a direct translation). And if it's supposed to be 'of the bear' than it should be Ursine, not Ursa.

 

I don't see the problem with the name Garion Vect, as i wasn't thinking of the DE, and it took me hours to figure out what 'Asdurbael's lesser known cousin' meant. Duhhh sweat.gif . Anyway, Garion Vect is a nice name i feel, and he definetely isn't the current Chapter Master. Though i could have a fight between the DE and Astartes, where the DE are mocking the Chapter Master for his predeccessors name.

 

Eh. I wouldn't go into it that much. People might think it meant something.

[Ring-around-the-roses]

Aha, done!

NameChange, ColourScheme and some minor spelling errors(hope i got all of the blighters......) :(

 

So, do you think its finished, any glaring mistakes, and problems...C&C please :)