Dark Crusaders

[DarkCrusader]

Dark Crusader Brother-Marine

[clearfloat][/clearfloat]

The Dark Crusaders

Founding Chapter:	Iron Knights
Homeworld:	Fleet Based
Chapter Symbol:

History

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"Thus,the threat of the Heretic in the Segmentum Obscurus shall be vanquished!All will know the power of the Imperium!All will fall!

Ave Imperator!"-High Ecclesiarch GriegorXI,at a Council Conference

The 20th Founding saw many Chapters come about,all with their own tasks in the grim darkness that is the future.
Every day the Space Marines,the Angels of Death, fight battles for the Imperium.
Killing the Heritic,Xeno and Unclean.All for the Emperor,the Master of Mankind.

One such Chapter born from the 20th Founding was appointed with the soul task of releasing the Daemonic grip on the Segmentum Obscurus.
From the Iron Knights Chapter,a chosen few were summoned out of reverie and into the Battle Barge later to be known as The Sword .There the veterans trained recruits gathered from planets that create true men.These recruits slowly battled their way through the rest of the 35th millenia,never yielding.At the dawn of the new millenia the aforesaid veteran-trainers rejoined the Iron Knights,leaving only a cadre of well-trained and battle hardened marines.

The crusading Chapter started to earn renown in the Age of Apostasy,putting down minor rebellions and chaos cults that would have escalated dramatically.In this time,the chapter elected a Chapter Master from the first company veterans.Chapter Master Decimus Harbing lead the Dark Crusaders on many skirmishes through the lower echelons of the Segmentum Obscurus before his glorious death on the planet of Bray II.

The Chapter carried on the same work for 5 more months using a council of the 10 Company Captains.That is the time when the next Chapter Master had just joined the 4th Company as a Tactical Sergeant.Ferim Shal proved himself as an excellent marine in a skirmish against the Hereticus Chapter of the Iron Warriors.Ferim earned a position on the Council from that battle.His lack of veterancy in a number of battles disgusted the elder council members but this did not discourage Ferim.A millenia later he was appointed as Chapter Master and lead the reform of the Council.(Also known as The Renewal)

The Renewal

Shortly after coming to power,Chapter Master Ferim Shal implemented regulations to keep the Council of Captains in order and make sure they made correct decisions.What he did was make each Company Captain to be tested by the residing High Chaplain once every 6 months.Furthermore,if found to be tainted in the slightest,the Captain is demoted and is served a Court Marshal.This ensures that no chaos enters the high eschelons of the crusaders.The Captains are also commanded to renew their oaths to the Chapter and Imperium every 2 years.This is a great inconvenience but is neccesary for a Chapter always so close to chaos

Notable Battles:
The Battle at Hell's Gates:
On the eve of the Age of Apostasy,the Dark Crusaders caught a distress signal calling for aid against Chaos attack.The Dark Crusaders deployed the first,fourth and tenth companies to the assistance.The marines landed on a world engulfed by rock and lava.It took all of the Navigators' skill to land the drop ships (as deploying Drop Pods were seen to be to risky on that occasion).Upon arriving at the estimated area from where the signal was sent,war was evident.Hordes of Daemons clashed with mountains of Cadians.Blood covered the black rock that was ground,boiling hot magma burst in random intervals from random crevices killing daemon and man alike.Portals opened overhead ,as the Dark Crusaders ran in, and more daemons entered the battle from these warp holes.Chapter Master Decimus Harbing rallied his men with warcys long forgotten.For three whole days the marines slew,daemon after daemon.On occasion they even had to kill one of their own number that had been lost not in body,but in soul.Chief Chaplain Hurst Ferard ran through the ranks continuously shouting incantations to keep the minds of those loyal men clean.

On the Fourth day the Cadians had long since perished.Even the marines were slowly dying off and still hordes came.Then,out of the sky came troop carriers,hundreds of them.At this sight the Dark Crusaders renewed their strength and pressed on.A few short hours later,the battlefield was filled once again with marines,but now the Dark Crusaders were fighting alongside their brother-chapter and saviors,the Iron Knights.

The battle was one that day and after the Iron Knights had collected their dead and moved on,the Chapter Master said one thing:"We are Angels of Death,Angels passing through.What we try to achieve is to cleanse hell and we have just only passed through its gates."
After returning from a battle on another planet,the Battle Barge returned to pick up the last four men.

The Brayan Cult:
In the latter parts of M37,the Dark Crusaders were called once again to help quell a warp-worshiper cult on Bray II.The Dark Crusaders arrived at Bray expecting a small scale rebellion of madmen in white pointed hoods.
What they found was the aforesaid worshipers trying to open a warp portal.
Whole cities were attacked by the possessed worshipers.

On the planet was the fourth Sons of Orar Company who,after being stranded on the planet,decided to purge the daemonic cult instead of trying to escape on the various space vessels.The Sons of Orar put up a valiant fight but daemons and heretics were not their expertise.
The Dark Crusaders came to their aid and the two chapters fought side by side,purging cities and destroying shrines.

They fought for days,but when they cam to the hive city,it was barricaded tighter than the marines could handle.They had no remaining artillery or tanks big enough to take down the fortifications and the next reinforcements were not for another 2 days.
That is when Chapter Master Decimus made a plan to stop the cultists and their warp ritual:
He,a Vanguard Veteran from the Sons of Orar,Captain Tenlly Urmiditus of the fifth company and Jorman Gangly(Master of the Recruits) would enter through an underground sewer and strike the cult at its heart.

The plan went ahead,the marines made their way swiftly through the sewers.Under the Administratum building they emerged,covered in sewer sludge.(Tenlly would have laughed if he had recounted the tale)After sneaking through to the Ecclesium,the marines broke cover and slew their way through mad cult members and possessed corpses until they gained entrance to the once holy chapel. There the marines became the embodiment of Justice,slaying all who stepped in their path.There is where they met the cult leader,a possessed 'man'.The daemon infested man was wearing a red hood that showed only his eyes through small holes.His incantations echoing through the once full hall.He cast his chaotic magic with ease.Destroying the vanguard and the Captain.The Chapter Master ran,wounded,up to the aforesaid cultist and slew him.The power of the warp engulfed Decimus for a moment though and then he exploded.

The rest of the army took the city in another few hours only to find the Master of Recruits kneeling at where the Chapter Master once stood,saying his good byes to an amazing man.
"Let the Emperor be with you,Decimus,my friend."

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Beliefs

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deleted a few things.not in the mood to do it right now..will do later...Coding got messed up..will work on it tomorrow night..busy with other things..

[chaplain belisarius]

werent they the black and red chapter that alan merrett created and was featured in a how to paint armies book many years ago? other than that i dont know much else (apart from they have a cool name!)

 

have you checked lexicanium and the 40k wiki? good luck! :lol:

[DarkCrusader]

not much..but its a start..I know..the armour colouring is wrong to what merret created,but I was going for that idea...sorry for crappilly photo shopped pics,my original pics were lost with my original drafts and had to come up with pics at the last moment... :)

[DarkCrusader]

ok,a small origins section is up :)

[DarkCrusader]

One battle is up.

[chaplain belisarius]

ok..for a start-maybe if you post this in liber astartes you will get more responses? its hard to come up with fluff i find...dont you?

 

hope this helped! :devil:

[Brother Tyler]

No, I'll just move it to Liber Astartes since that's the appropriate location. While the Dark Crusaders may exist, this is a personal take on them, so it becomes "DIY" in the sense that the development is unofficial.

[DarkCrusader]

No, I'll just move it to Liber Astartes since that's the appropriate location. While the Dark Crusaders may exist, this is a personal take on them, so it becomes "DIY" in the sense that the development is unofficial.

Thanks,sorry for the misunderstanding :P

[DarkCrusader]

I salvaged the picture that I lost in the warp...don't worry,it hasn't gone chaos :P

[chaplain belisarius]

he has lost his backpack though! naughty marine! losing equipment like that! :D

[DarkCrusader]

The Renewal and an extremely incomplete version of Beliefs...

Sorry was rushing...

Next update on Friday! :D

[CantonWC]

Hello

 

I will try my hand at this.

 

First off as a general remark I would suggest that you really tighten up word choice, sentence structure etc. Some of this is choppy and not pleasing to my eyes.

 

The Chapter carried on the same work for 5 more months using a council of the 10 Company Captains

 

Okay why does it take them so long to elect a new Chapter Master from one of these Captains?

 

Ferim earned a position on the Council from that battle.His lack of veterancy in a number of battles disgusted the elder council members but this did not discourage Ferim

 

If he's so young and inexperienced why did they even elect him to the Council? I presume that the other Council members would have to approve first before they allow him a seat.

 

Shortly after coming to power,Chapter Master Ferim Shal implemented regulations to keep the Council of Captains in order and make sure they made correct decisions.What he did was make each Company Captain to be tested by the residing High Chaplain once every 6 months.Furthermore,if found to be tainted in the slightest,the Captain is demoted and is served a Court Marshal.This ensures that no chaos enters the high eschelons of the crusaders.The Captains are also commanded to renew their oaths to the Chapter and Imperium every 2 years.This is a great inconvenience but is neccesary for a Chapter always so close to chaos

 

Why did he implement this reform in the first place? If there is even a hint of chaos, the offender should be killed. If you are testing to make sure no chaos enters the upper ranks, you have far bigger underlying problems.

 

Notable Battles:

The Battle at Hell's Gates:

 

I'll just quote the octaguide

 

Battles are boring

Like the book says, in the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war. By the time anyone gets to your IA, they'll have read about a lot of battles. All writing about a battle does is provide them with something they've seen before, countless times, and distract from the points that are unique about your IA. Read GW IAs, and note how they talk about battles - they set the scene, explain briefly what happened, and talk about the aftermath and what that meant. The battle is important because of what it meant, not what happened in the battle itself. There is no point in planning out a blow-by-blow description of how your Chapter Master fought his archenemy - that's not what's important about that fight. What's important is why they were fighting, who won, and what that meant to later events.

 

Battles are boring. The only thing Marines do is fight - it would be like me writing about what I do in a typical day, which will bore the audience. So don't write about battles unless it's actually important to the character of the Chapter.

 

The Chapter sees the Emperor and his 'sons' as mighty men sent by Trinnitus,the three-fold power.Other than this,the marines are not very focused on religion.They use incantations from an old dataslate found from the days before the Dark Age of Technology to purify themselves before,during and after the battle.This way they only lose a minor few weaker marines to the chaos.

 

There is nothing in the 40k universe even remotely hinting at the existence of a god, or that he created the Emperor and the Primarchs and sent them. If word of this gets out the Chapter will be destroyed to the man for heresy.

 

Hope this helps

 

CWC

[DarkCrusader]

Ok,let me start off by saying thanks.that was really what i needed canton,now on to your points.choppy sentence structure cant be excused,sorry about that.ferim will change,working on that idea.lastly,trinnitus was one of those late night mistakes that haunt until it gets taken out.about the battles,i am not making a regular DIY and chose to roughly follow the Lexicanum format for IA's.so the battles might stay..i can only update on friday due to exams..

[Brother Tyler]

Speaking of which, I'm going to have to add the "Lexicanum" format to the templates article.

 

As far as battles go, keep them if you want. My advice on battles is to have them only if they are either significant to the Chapter's history (and you need to explain why they're significant) or if they are representative of the Chapter's battle tactics (and are provided in order to illustrate the tactics). The format used by Imperial Armour in the Badab War books included two or three notable battle honours for each Chapter, and the Codicium Imperialis series of articles in White Dwarf (only a handful of them, mostly from 3rd edition) had the Liber Victorm sub-set focus on battles.

 

The 20th Founding saw many Chapters come about,all with their own tasks in the grim darkness that is the future.

Every day the Space Marines,the Angels of Death, fight battles for the Imperium.

Killing the Heritic,Xeno and Unclean.All for the Emperor,the Master of Mankind.

This paragraph doesn't tell us anything other than that the Chapter was created during the 20th Founding. Every Chapter fights every day against the various enemies of Mankind. You cover the 20th Founding in the paragraph that immediately follows this one, so I recommend just deleting it entirely, or modify it to give some relevant information.

 

There the veterans trained recruits gathered from planets that create true men.

This little bit of hyperbole is only asking for trouble as it implies that this Chapter has "true" men, whereas others do not. I don't see it adding any value. If you want to speak to the worthiness of the recruits, describe the harsh conditions in which they are born and survive.

 

The Chapter carried on the same work for 5 more months using a council of the 10 Company Captains.That is the time when the next Chapter Master had just joined the 4th Company as a Tactical Sergeant.Ferim Shal proved himself as an excellent marine in a skirmish against the Hereticus Chapter of the Iron Warriors.Ferim earned a position on the Council from that battle.His lack of veterancy in a number of battles disgusted the elder council members but this did not discourage Ferim.A millenia later he was appointed as Chapter Master and lead the reform of the Council.(Also known as The Renewal)

If there was a first Chapter Master and there were companies, presumably there were captains of those companies. Why and how would a Veteran Sergeant, junior in rank and experience to all of those Captains, have ascended to the rank of Chapter Master over those Captains? This implies that they were all incompetent, and then the "disgusted the elder council members" implements a level of politics into the Chapter that is rife with problems.

 

Shortly after coming to power,Chapter Master Ferim Shal implemented regulations to keep the Council of Captains in order and make sure they made correct decisions.What he did was make each Company Captain to be tested by the residing High Chaplain once every 6 months.Furthermore,if found to be tainted in the slightest,the Captain is demoted and is served a Court Marshal.This ensures that no chaos enters the high eschelons of the crusaders.The Captains are also commanded to renew their oaths to the Chapter and Imperium every 2 years.This is a great inconvenience but is neccesary for a Chapter always so close to chaos...

This is especially problematic to me. Space Marine Chapters aren't run willy-nilly. They are created in firm tradition. In this case, the parent Chapter provided a training cadre. That cadre would have instilled basic practices into the newly-founded Chapter, based on the parent Chapter's own traditions and the teachings of the Codex Astartes. A Council of Captains (which every Chapter has) would have tried and true practices. No Veteran Sergeant would have the experience to even question those practices, let alone going against multiple Captains. The only basis by which your concept gains any plausibility is if the higher echelons of the Chapter are rife with heresy and corruption, in which case there would be a culling (such as we saw with the Grey Slayers).

 

It's interesting that you have the Captains tested, demoted if they prove to be corrupted, and then the court martial is conducted. The demotion (a punishment) should take place after the court martial. Also, "court martial" makes the whole affair sound mundane. You might want to re-name it in order to give it the gravity that it appears you want the whole process to have.

 

The basic concept of testing Space Marines for purity will involve the Chaplains (moral purity - adherence to the Chapter's warrior cult), but will also involve the Apothecaries (physical purity) and Librarians (mental purity - testing for Warp-taint). This happens in all Chapters, so it isn't really new here and doesn't really add any value. More importantly, it implies that the Dark Crusaders have a problem, in which case you have bigger issues to worry about.

 

I suggest dialing the significance of this back, and focus on one incident in which it actually took place. I wouldn't make this so much of a "reform" as an example of a significant event in the Chapter's history, or the precursor to a significant event. Perhaps one or more Captains were corrupted by Chaos and the Chapter had to "clean house," which might explain how a Veteran Sergeant ascended to the rank of Chapter Master. Alternately, a Captain was found corrupt and demoted, and then turned on the Chapter. Whatever you do, I would focus less on a "Renewal" (more accurately, "Reformation") unless you provide a basis for any such reformation to be necessary in the first place.

 

It took all of the Navigators' skill to land the drop ships (as deploying Drop Pods were seen to be to risky on that occasion).

Navigators fly vessels through the Warp, not from orbit to surface. The flying of drop ships will be done by trained pilots or navigators (lower case - non-mutants).

 

Chief Chaplain Hurst Ferard ran through the ranks continuously shouting incantations to keep the minds of those loyal men clean.

"Incantations" implies sorcery/Warp power. Chaplains yell litanies/liturgies/chants. Unless you've melded the Chaplains and Librarians and I missed that ^_^ (in which case it should be noted that Chaplains were created to counter Librarians, ensuring the moral purity of Space Marines, so mixing the two would be the equivalent of having the fox guard the hen house).

 

Overall, the Battle of Hell's Gates doesn't tell us much other than that the Iron Knights rescued the Dark Crusaders. More importantly, why were the Dark Crusaders there in the first place? And how were they fighting? The most common method of employing Space Marines is to have them strike into the heart of the enemy's centers of gravity, destroying the enemy's ability/will to fight. So if a world is overrun with daemons, what strategy would shape the Dark Crusaders' attack? To determine this, you would have to determine how the daemons came to the world in the first place - what is enabling the daemons to manifest. The Space Marines would then be attacking that in an effort to prevent the daemons from attacking. Alternately, if the overrunning of the world is a foregone conclusion (as it was in the Medusa V) campaign, then figure out what the Space Marines are doing there. As it is, you just have them fighting to fight. There needs to be a purpose to their fighting in order for the battle to retain any plausibility, and this will help to shape the battle description.

 

However, the description you gave sounds like a major Warp incursion, and this makes me wonder why the Grey Knights aren't involved in some way (of course, that would then mean that your Dark Crusaders get mindwiped or terminated :ph34r: ). It would be better to dial the daemons back and have the battle focus more on traitors/heretics.

 

The Sons of Orar put up a valiant fight but daemons and heretics were not their expertise.

This is risky. Now you're making statements about another Chapter for which we have little information. The Sons of Orar consider the Ultramarines hero from the Scouring, Orar, to be their spiritual liege. The key thing to remember about the Scouring is that the forces of the Imperium were pushing the forces of those loyal to Horus back, reclaiming the worlds lost during the Horus Heresy. I think that daemons and heretics were probably among those that they fought. Whether or not the Sons of Orar have any experience fighting against daemons and heretics is anyone's guess, but I'd err on the side of caution and merely explain that a small force of Sons of Orar found itself at a disadvantage for some tactical reason and not touch on any matter of experience/expertise.

 

The Chapter sees the Emperor and his 'sons' as mighty men sent by Trinnitus,the three-fold power. Other than this,the marines are not very focused on religion.They use incantations from an old dataslate found from the days before the Dark Age of Technology to purify themselves before,during and after the battle.This way they only lose a minor few weaker marines to the chaos.

This type of belief system was wiped out by the Emperor and smacks a bit too much of modern religion.

 

Note - it's court "martial," not "marshal." ;)

[DarkCrusader]

Wow,that was awesome!i had an adrenalin rush reading that post!(not really)ok.thanks for showing where i was going wrong..i was also realising my mistakes in class today when i reading one abnet's books.he iluminates the life of a Space Marine and how things go on in the imperium so well that after five chapters i felt like i had learned more in reading that book than i had since joining warhammer 2 years ago.all the way through english,i was changing what i had written in my head and giving myself facepalms... so,will take down the current info on friday and start up a new idea with a more refined lexicanum layout that i could boast to my dog about.

[Brother-Sergeant Bohemond]

intereting concept, advise you read the guide to DIYing

 

(sticky at the top of the forum)

 

very very very helpful. Oh, and the Octaguide if you can find it, great resources for any DIY chapter.

 

For layout, read through some of the IA's that exist in this forum, that should also help

[Brother Tyler]

On format, note that the Index Astartes format is great and is widely used for very good reason, but you're not required to use it. The Imperial Armour Badab War books provided us with another format. Alternately, you can use any other format you want, or even something that isn't a "format" (in the sense that it follows an established pattern).

 

Much of format choice is up to the type and amount of information that you want to provide to readers.

 

Choose the format that best suits your intent and don't worry about the expectations of others. If you want to follow Index Astartes, do that. If you want to use some other format, go ahead and do that instead.

[DarkCrusader]

Well,im going to only post minimal info(unless a change in mind comes about)as i am not essentialy creating a chapter,merely adding a bit of fluff to a much unknown chapter.writing more after the basics are done is tempting,but i want the basic info as canon as possible.this week is a little hectic with school but friday ill provide basics(as stated almost a million times :tu: )So depending on response after that i will decide if i should add more(seeing as this is my army i guess i should)

[Gamer-freak16]

Very interesting chapter Darkcru. I see you also bringing my chapter (Sons of Ora) into it. ;) Im gonna have to talk to you at school tomorrow about that battle.