chaosmarine234 Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 DELETE THIS TOPIC Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/238359-delete-this-topic/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
Octavulg Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 Vengeance. ;) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/238359-delete-this-topic/#findComment-2874870 Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaosmarine234 Posted September 13, 2011 Author Share Posted September 13, 2011 Vengeance. :( Fixed. Thanks ;) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/238359-delete-this-topic/#findComment-2874872 Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightrawenII Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 Plz tell me what you think. With pleasure... :devil: Founded: (Sons of Origin) 021M31 - Eh, the date indicates 2nd Founding and around here is this founding considered off limits. (Sons of Vengence) 288.M36. - Sons of Vengeance Chapter Tactics: Specializes in Drop Pod use. - This is like saying that apple tree specializes in production of apples. :geek: Yes, they are space marines and yes they specialize in planetary assault. Back M32, Chaos warband (led by Chaos Lord Norrexus of the World Eaters) had reached a planet called Delta Prime, which was and still is a Forge World. - ... and thus the Nightrawen's Crusade continues... Sweet Emperor! The Forge World is one of best protected worlds in the Imperium. Only the most brave or insane enemies dare to assault a bastion of the Adeptus Mechanicus. But thankfully the Grey Knights Space Marines stopped the Inquision and sent the last of the Sons of Origin to Titan for the next 4,000 years to see if they had been corrupted by Chaos. - and over time, their beards grown white and long... Eh, the lifespan of Space marine is no longer than 1000 years, with notable exception of Blood Angels geneline. I would like to know, what took them so long to examine a handful of Space Marines, since the Admech tests the purity of gene-seed tithes on regular basis. :mellow: The Sons of Vengeance Chapter had been born. - So, the SoV missed most of the Imperial history, while rotting in the jailhouse? A very heroic beginning, that's for sure. -_- Cheers, NightrawenII. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/238359-delete-this-topic/#findComment-2875195 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosjetka Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 - This is like saying that apple tree specializes in production of apples. :devil: :geek: Nothing more to add to Nightrawen's critique :mellow: Ludovic Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/238359-delete-this-topic/#findComment-2875205 Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaosmarine234 Posted September 15, 2011 Author Share Posted September 15, 2011 Plz tell me what you think. With pleasure... :) Founded: (Sons of Origin) 021M31 - Eh, the date indicates 2nd Founding and around here is this founding considered off limits. (Sons of Vengence) 288.M36. - Sons of Vengeance Chapter Tactics: Specializes in Drop Pod use. - This is like saying that apple tree specializes in production of apples. :) Yes, they are space marines and yes they specialize in planetary assault. Back M32, Chaos warband (led by Chaos Lord Norrexus of the World Eaters) had reached a planet called Delta Prime, which was and still is a Forge World. - ... and thus the Nightrawen's Crusade continues... Sweet Emperor! The Forge World is one of best protected worlds in the Imperium. Only the most brave or insane enemies dare to assault a bastion of the Adeptus Mechanicus. But thankfully the Grey Knights Space Marines stopped the Inquision and sent the last of the Sons of Origin to Titan for the next 4,000 years to see if they had been corrupted by Chaos. - and over time, their beards grown white and long... Eh, the lifespan of Space marine is no longer than 1000 years, with notable exception of Blood Angels geneline. I would like to know, what took them so long to examine a handful of Space Marines, since the Admech tests the purity of gene-seed tithes on regular basis. :D The Sons of Vengeance Chapter had been born. - So, the SoV missed most of the Imperial history, while rotting in the jailhouse? A very heroic beginning, that's for sure. -_- Cheers, NightrawenII. 1. It was around that time. 2. I did not know there is a Chaos warband called that. My bad! :P (but the name stays because it's cool!) 3. The Chapter is infantry only and uses Drop Pods, they don't use any tanks. 4. Well, they are Chaos loonies so why not? Orks do it most of the time! :D 5. I forgot put more detail into that. Will post more info on that soon. 6. ^same as above. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/238359-delete-this-topic/#findComment-2876571 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosjetka Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 3. The Chapter is infantry only and uses Drop Pods, they don't use any tanks. Why so? What made them abandon tanks in favour of infantry-based tactics? Remember that tanks are very powerful weapons and can turn the tide of battles if used well and with the right force. Ludovic Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/238359-delete-this-topic/#findComment-2876582 Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaosmarine234 Posted September 15, 2011 Author Share Posted September 15, 2011 3. The Chapter is infantry only and uses Drop Pods, they don't use any tanks. Why so? What made them abandon tanks in favour of infantry-based tactics? Remember that tanks are very powerful weapons and can turn the tide of battles if used well and with the right force. Ludovic They favor getting up close with the emeny. Plus fitting a tank into a Drop Pod would be every hard. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/238359-delete-this-topic/#findComment-2876590 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosjetka Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 They favor getting up close with the emeny. Plus fitting a tank into a Drop Pod would be every hard. They have Thunderhawks for that :D Ludovic Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/238359-delete-this-topic/#findComment-2876606 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Debonair Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 Nice colour scheme. :D It'd be nice to know where the original chapter came from, and why they shun the use of vehicles so much. I'd also change the number of surviving marines up from twenty - it takes nothing short of a miracle to recover from that few marines, and DIY chapters should really avoid miracles when possible. It's a huge kick in the suspension-of-disbelief when miraculous events occur. Somewhere between two to three hundred survivors would be more appropriate. You could have so many companies off campaigning against Orks or what-have-you when all the crazy stuff happens, and it'd still take a while to rebuild, etc, with the added bonus of actually being able to put up a fight if required. I'd also personally avoid having the Grey Knights intervene at all. There's no reason for them to do so. Instead, you could just have them hide up on some backwater planet, build a makeshift Fortress Monastery, and slowly turn that planet into a base of operations, recruiting from anywhere they can find that produces decent Astartes-grade recruits. They can undergo the name/armour colour change to throw off any nosy inquisitors, claim they finished off the Sons Of Origin, and wait for the next founding before trying to get any supplies off the AdMech. :) This could tie into the not-using-tanks idea, in that they might not actually have many functioning tanks after their first homeworld is destroyed. If you wanted to, you could also make them extremely paranoid about any further corruption in the ranks, and have any borderline cases judged by a council of Chaplains. Just some ideas I had, feel free to use or discard them as you see fit. :) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/238359-delete-this-topic/#findComment-2876607 Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaosmarine234 Posted September 15, 2011 Author Share Posted September 15, 2011 They favor getting up close with the emeny. Plus fitting a tank into a Drop Pod would be every hard. They have Thunderhawks for that :) Ludovic Thunderhawks are used as fighters/bombers. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/238359-delete-this-topic/#findComment-2876711 Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaosmarine234 Posted September 15, 2011 Author Share Posted September 15, 2011 Nice colour scheme. ^_^ It'd be nice to know where the original chapter came from, and why they shun the use of vehicles so much. I'd also change the number of surviving marines up from twenty - it takes nothing short of a miracle to recover from that few marines, and DIY chapters should really avoid miracles when possible. It's a huge kick in the suspension-of-disbelief when miraculous events occur. Somewhere between two to three hundred survivors would be more appropriate. You could have so many companies off campaigning against Orks or what-have-you when all the crazy stuff happens, and it'd still take a while to rebuild, etc, with the added bonus of actually being able to put up a fight if required. I'd also personally avoid having the Grey Knights intervene at all. There's no reason for them to do so. Instead, you could just have them hide up on some backwater planet, build a makeshift Fortress Monastery, and slowly turn that planet into a base of operations, recruiting from anywhere they can find that produces decent Astartes-grade recruits. They can undergo the name/armour colour change to throw off any nosy inquisitors, claim they finished off the Sons Of Origin, and wait for the next founding before trying to get any supplies off the AdMech. ;) This could tie into the not-using-tanks idea, in that they might not actually have many functioning tanks after their first homeworld is destroyed. If you wanted to, you could also make them extremely paranoid about any further corruption in the ranks, and have any borderline cases judged by a council of Chaplains. Just some ideas I had, feel free to use or discard them as you see fit. ^_^ Thanks :) . As for the Grey Knights, they play a big role in the Sons of Vengeance storyline (I'll add more on that soon!). Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/238359-delete-this-topic/#findComment-2876719 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosjetka Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 Thunderhawks are used as fighters/bombers. Not only. http://www.forgeworld.co.uk/Warhammer-4000...AND-RAIDER.html http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Thunderhawk Better check your facts next time, mate :yes: Ludovic Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/238359-delete-this-topic/#findComment-2876991 Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaosmarine234 Posted September 16, 2011 Author Share Posted September 16, 2011 Thunderhawks are used as fighters/bombers. Not only. http://www.forgeworld.co.uk/Warhammer-4000...AND-RAIDER.html http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Thunderhawk Better check your facts next time, mate :) Ludovic I ment that this Chapter uses them as fighters/bombers. Sorry, I should have been more clear about that. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/238359-delete-this-topic/#findComment-2877339 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosjetka Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 I ment that this Chapter uses them as fighters/bombers. Sorry, I should have been more clear about that. No worries :) Ludovic Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/238359-delete-this-topic/#findComment-2877379 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shinzaren Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 The history of the Sons of Vengeance is a confusing one. Back M32, Chaos (led by Chaos Lord Norrexus of the World Eaters) had reached a planet called Delta Prime, which was and still is a Forge World. /whistle... Assault on a Forge World? That World Eater is either very insane, or very stupid. Unless he has a whole Black Crusade at his back, the Adeptus Mechanicum and their associated forces are going to turn you inside out. And they planned to turn this planet into a Demon World, it would have worked but thankfully the Sons of Origin fleet had hared Delta Prime's distress call. led by Chief Librarian Tarus, the 2nd Company of the Sons of Origin pushed back the World Eaters. One Company of One Chapter of Space Marines managed to fend off an assault that an entire Forge World defense force couldn't handle? I find that hard to believe. In the last battle, Norrexus and Tarus fought in a epic battle to the death, which Tarus won but not before Norrexus wounded Tarus with a Demon Weapon. Of course, after which the Librarian will be slowly turned to Chaos and cause the downfall of the Chapter. While the idea is sound, it isn't very original unfortunately. The other issue with that is the fact that is happening to the Chief Librarian. They are trained from the moment they set foot in the Librarium to strengthen their will and control their minds. It would actually be harder for a demon to possess such a highly trained Librarian than it would a regular marine, even with the Librarian's constant tie to the Warp. It took 3 years for Tarus to recover form his wounds, but unknowing to him what the weapon had done to him would spell the end of the Sons of Origin. Any wound that takes a Space Marine three years to heal would be fatal. They heal fast. Really fast. If the wound was that potent, and it was known to be caused by a demon weapon, the chapter would take every single possible precaution to cleanse the wound and the Librarian as stringently as possible. If other organizations were aware of the weapon and the injury, and knew how long it took for the Librarian to heal, they might be even less tolerant, and would instead probably just off the marine in question just to be safe. Space Marines and the Imperium in general do not mess around when it comes to the possibility of Warp Possession. It began with visions of death of the Sons of Origin and the Chapter Master as a Demon Prince holding up Tarus's head to the sky. Plaged by these visions Tarus started act against the Chapter Master, thinking that he would save the Chapter. So after being wounded by a demon weapon and taking ages to heal, the first thing the Librarian does is start to disobey orders and act against his superior officers? That is a big honking red flag to the rest of the Chapter and to the Inquisition that something is wrong. When the Chapter Master fanally went to talk with Tarus, what happened next was never recorded but the Chapter Master was seen battleing a Demon Lord. So then it was recorded... The the demon inside weapon that had wounded the Chief Librarian had freed itself and had possessed him and had used him to write summoning wards in the Chapter's fortress. None of the other Librarians of the Chapter noticed the Chief wandering about the monastery performing dark incantations and searing blasphemous runes all over their home? The battle nearly wiped out the Chapter, but thankfully the Chapter Master sent the last of the Chapter (no more then 20 Space Marines)and the last fleet away. Then the Chapter Master ordered his Battle Barge the Victus to virus bomb the Chapter's home planet, Chapter Master and Demon Lord were both killed. 20 marines is not enough to rebuild a chapter, especially without the necessary gene-seed, facilities, equipment and support. Not to mention the fact that the Inquisition would probably just eliminate them all to be sure. The fleet want to Terra to report what had happened, but the Inquision already knew and had planned to kill the last of them because they could not risk the last of the Sons of Origin chapter being corrupted by Chaos. No, the fleet didn't go to Terra. Fleets of Space Marine vessels don't just drop by for a chat. Terra/Mars is the single most heavily defended area in the entire galaxy, and no chapter that was almost wiped by its own Librarian would be allowed within a million light years of Terra. The Inquisition was well within their rights to destroy the last marines and would have done so almost immediately. Better that 20 marines fall untainted, than risk the population of wherever they land. But thankfully the Grey Knights Space Marines stopped the Inquision and sent the last of the Sons of Origin to Titan for the next 4,000 years to see if they had been corrupted by Chaos. Nothing stops the Inquisition except the Emperor, who is a little busy, or the Inquisition itself. The Grey Knights don't give orders to Inquisitors. The Grey Knights are just as intolerant and willing to destroy as the Inquisition is, and are far more capable of doing so. "Shoot first, shoot some more, shoot a few more times, and then; when everything is truly dead, light it on fire." That is the motto of the Ordo Malleus. 9,000 years pasted and the Imperium was at war with the Tau Empire, that was when the Sons of Vengeance were first seen. Wait, 4,000 years became 9,000 years and somehow these 20 marines became a Chapter? After being impounded on Titan by the most unforgiving men in the galaxy? This bears further explaining. Imperial Guard forces were being overwelmed by the Tau when suddenly black dots appered in the sky. The Imperial Guard cheered, the Tau were confused by this sudden change in the Imperial forces. When they looked up that was the last thing they would ever see. Drop pods full of Space Marines in steel and golden armour landed in the mist of the Tau forces battle lines, no Tau lived to tell what had happened. When the Imperial Guard asked who they were the leader of the Sons of Vengence said: "I am Capter Master Victus Markus of the Sons of Vengence, and these xenos will feel the burn of the Emperor's Vengeance." Which is cool and all, but gives us almost no relevant information for who the Sons of Vengeance are, where they are from, what their motivations are, and why they suddenly appeared. In my mind the two stories have absolutely nothing in common and aren't relevant to each other. The bridge section of the story which connects the Sons of Vengeance to their (supposed) predecessors, the Sons of Origin (who desperately need a new name.) The Sons of Vengeance Chapter had been born. Born of what? Or who I suppose? Plz tell me what you think. Done. Sorry if it was a bit harsh, just trying to be honest and (hopefully) helpful. The general concept and the mystery seem alright, but the reasoning and the explanations need some work. Also, the overall feel of the chapter is very confused at this point, because you spent a lot of time explaining the Sons of Origin and a little time explaining the Sons of Vengeance, with no time spent explaining how they relate to each other at all. The ideas just seem a bit... messy at the moment, though that is usually streamlined through future drafts and corrections. Hopefully that helps you a bit, and you are able to keep working on these guys until you have some awesome. P.S. Try not to use leetspeak or short hand like Plz, as it goes against the forum rules. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/238359-delete-this-topic/#findComment-2877815 Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaosmarine234 Posted September 18, 2011 Author Share Posted September 18, 2011 The history of the Sons of Vengeance is a confusing one. Back M32, Chaos (led by Chaos Lord Norrexus of the World Eaters) had reached a planet called Delta Prime, which was and still is a Forge World. /whistle... Assault on a Forge World? That World Eater is either very insane, or very stupid. Unless he has a whole Black Crusade at his back, the Adeptus Mechanicum and their associated forces are going to turn you inside out. And they planned to turn this planet into a Demon World, it would have worked but thankfully the Sons of Origin fleet had hared Delta Prime's distress call. led by Chief Librarian Tarus, the 2nd Company of the Sons of Origin pushed back the World Eaters. One Company of One Chapter of Space Marines managed to fend off an assault that an entire Forge World defense force couldn't handle? I find that hard to believe. In the last battle, Norrexus and Tarus fought in a epic battle to the death, which Tarus won but not before Norrexus wounded Tarus with a Demon Weapon. Of course, after which the Librarian will be slowly turned to Chaos and cause the downfall of the Chapter. While the idea is sound, it isn't very original unfortunately. The other issue with that is the fact that is happening to the Chief Librarian. They are trained from the moment they set foot in the Librarium to strengthen their will and control their minds. It would actually be harder for a demon to possess such a highly trained Librarian than it would a regular marine, even with the Librarian's constant tie to the Warp. It took 3 years for Tarus to recover form his wounds, but unknowing to him what the weapon had done to him would spell the end of the Sons of Origin. Any wound that takes a Space Marine three years to heal would be fatal. They heal fast. Really fast. If the wound was that potent, and it was known to be caused by a demon weapon, the chapter would take every single possible precaution to cleanse the wound and the Librarian as stringently as possible. If other organizations were aware of the weapon and the injury, and knew how long it took for the Librarian to heal, they might be even less tolerant, and would instead probably just off the marine in question just to be safe. Space Marines and the Imperium in general do not mess around when it comes to the possibility of Warp Possession. It began with visions of death of the Sons of Origin and the Chapter Master as a Demon Prince holding up Tarus's head to the sky. Plaged by these visions Tarus started act against the Chapter Master, thinking that he would save the Chapter. So after being wounded by a demon weapon and taking ages to heal, the first thing the Librarian does is start to disobey orders and act against his superior officers? That is a big honking red flag to the rest of the Chapter and to the Inquisition that something is wrong. When the Chapter Master fanally went to talk with Tarus, what happened next was never recorded but the Chapter Master was seen battleing a Demon Lord. So then it was recorded... The the demon inside weapon that had wounded the Chief Librarian had freed itself and had possessed him and had used him to write summoning wards in the Chapter's fortress. None of the other Librarians of the Chapter noticed the Chief wandering about the monastery performing dark incantations and searing blasphemous runes all over their home? The battle nearly wiped out the Chapter, but thankfully the Chapter Master sent the last of the Chapter (no more then 20 Space Marines)and the last fleet away. Then the Chapter Master ordered his Battle Barge the Victus to virus bomb the Chapter's home planet, Chapter Master and Demon Lord were both killed. 20 marines is not enough to rebuild a chapter, especially without the necessary gene-seed, facilities, equipment and support. Not to mention the fact that the Inquisition would probably just eliminate them all to be sure. The fleet want to Terra to report what had happened, but the Inquision already knew and had planned to kill the last of them because they could not risk the last of the Sons of Origin chapter being corrupted by Chaos. No, the fleet didn't go to Terra. Fleets of Space Marine vessels don't just drop by for a chat. Terra/Mars is the single most heavily defended area in the entire galaxy, and no chapter that was almost wiped by its own Librarian would be allowed within a million light years of Terra. The Inquisition was well within their rights to destroy the last marines and would have done so almost immediately. Better that 20 marines fall untainted, than risk the population of wherever they land. But thankfully the Grey Knights Space Marines stopped the Inquision and sent the last of the Sons of Origin to Titan for the next 4,000 years to see if they had been corrupted by Chaos. Nothing stops the Inquisition except the Emperor, who is a little busy, or the Inquisition itself. The Grey Knights don't give orders to Inquisitors. The Grey Knights are just as intolerant and willing to destroy as the Inquisition is, and are far more capable of doing so. "Shoot first, shoot some more, shoot a few more times, and then; when everything is truly dead, light it on fire." That is the motto of the Ordo Malleus. 9,000 years pasted and the Imperium was at war with the Tau Empire, that was when the Sons of Vengeance were first seen. Wait, 4,000 years became 9,000 years and somehow these 20 marines became a Chapter? After being impounded on Titan by the most unforgiving men in the galaxy? This bears further explaining. Imperial Guard forces were being overwelmed by the Tau when suddenly black dots appered in the sky. The Imperial Guard cheered, the Tau were confused by this sudden change in the Imperial forces. When they looked up that was the last thing they would ever see. Drop pods full of Space Marines in steel and golden armour landed in the mist of the Tau forces battle lines, no Tau lived to tell what had happened. When the Imperial Guard asked who they were the leader of the Sons of Vengence said: "I am Capter Master Victus Markus of the Sons of Vengence, and these xenos will feel the burn of the Emperor's Vengeance." Which is cool and all, but gives us almost no relevant information for who the Sons of Vengeance are, where they are from, what their motivations are, and why they suddenly appeared. In my mind the two stories have absolutely nothing in common and aren't relevant to each other. The bridge section of the story which connects the Sons of Vengeance to their (supposed) predecessors, the Sons of Origin (who desperately need a new name.) The Sons of Vengeance Chapter had been born. Born of what? Or who I suppose? Plz tell me what you think. Done. Sorry if it was a bit harsh, just trying to be honest and (hopefully) helpful. The general concept and the mystery seem alright, but the reasoning and the explanations need some work. Also, the overall feel of the chapter is very confused at this point, because you spent a lot of time explaining the Sons of Origin and a little time explaining the Sons of Vengeance, with no time spent explaining how they relate to each other at all. The ideas just seem a bit... messy at the moment, though that is usually streamlined through future drafts and corrections. Hopefully that helps you a bit, and you are able to keep working on these guys until you have some awesome. P.S. Try not to use leetspeak or short hand like Plz, as it goes against the forum rules. Well the history bit has not been finished yet (it does need a rework, but I have been playing Mass Effect 2 a lot so I can't edit it yet. Plus i'll have thave to rewirte everything). And as for the leetspeak thing, I am a bad speller (I will edit that out soon, but as I said I have been playing Mass Effect 2 a lot.) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/238359-delete-this-topic/#findComment-2878892 Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaosmarine234 Posted September 19, 2011 Author Share Posted September 19, 2011 As I said. I have updated the history bit (its on the top post, and to Shinzaren, I have taking out the leetspeak thing). Its not finished yet I will update soon (Gears of War 3 comes out on Tusday so I will be busy till October) enjoy!!. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/238359-delete-this-topic/#findComment-2879295 Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightrawenII Posted September 19, 2011 Share Posted September 19, 2011 As I said. I have updated the history bit (its on the top post, and to Shinzaren, I have taking out the leetspeak thing). Its not finished yet I will update soon (Gears of War 3 comes out on Tusday so I will be busy till October) enjoy!! Erm, chaosmarine234 what is your aim? An Index Astartes or story about the Sons of whatever? I'm asking, because this article looks more like story than *proper* IA. My issues so far: - Bad spelling. - Forge World ///Seriously, change it to Industrial World, it will be more plausible. - Chaos portal being here for some time and not spewing forth waves of daemons. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/238359-delete-this-topic/#findComment-2879409 Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaosmarine234 Posted September 19, 2011 Author Share Posted September 19, 2011 As I said. I have updated the history bit (its on the top post, and to Shinzaren, I have taking out the leetspeak thing). Its not finished yet I will update soon (Gears of War 3 comes out on Tusday so I will be busy till October) enjoy!! Erm, chaosmarine234 what is your aim? An Index Astartes or story about the Sons of whatever? I'm asking, because this article looks more like story than *proper* IA. My issues so far: - Bad spelling. - Forge World ///Seriously, change it to Industrial World, it will be more plausible. - Chaos portal being here for some time and not spewing forth waves of daemons. 1. well everyone that posted in this topic wanted more detail, so I gave it to them. It is not a story. 2. As I said I am a bad speller. 3. Have you played Space Marine video game? Orks attacked a Forge World in hope of looting Titans, so I cant see what the problem is. 4. Have you played Space Marine video game? the Ultramarines were used by a chaos daemon to make a Warp Portal and send a Chaos warband on the Forge World. Besides I have finished on the History bit yet, so just wait. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/238359-delete-this-topic/#findComment-2879866 Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightrawenII Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 1. well everyone that posted in this topic wanted more detail, so I gave it to them. It is not a story. There is a detail and there is a detail. See the Octaguide, what we meant by detail. 3. Have you played Space Marine video game? Orks attacked a Forge World in hope of looting Titans, so I cant see what the problem is. 4. Have you played Space Marine video game? the Ultramarines were used by a chaos daemon to make a Warp Portal and send a Chaos warband on the Forge World. Besides I have finished on the History bit yet, so just wait. *facepalm* Just for these examples, I'm going to ignore these "pearls" of fluff. The history of the Sons of Vengeance is a confusing one. Back M32, Chaos (led by Chaos Lord Norrexus of the World Eaters) had reached a planet called Delta Prime, which was and still is a Forge World. /whistle... Assault on a Forge World? That World Eater is either very insane, or very stupid. Unless he has a whole Black Crusade at his back, the Adeptus Mechanicum and their associated forces are going to turn you inside out. Still don't see a problem? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/238359-delete-this-topic/#findComment-2880349 Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaosmarine234 Posted September 20, 2011 Author Share Posted September 20, 2011 1. well everyone that posted in this topic wanted more detail, so I gave it to them. It is not a story. There is a detail and there is a detail. See the Octaguide, what we meant by detail. 3. Have you played Space Marine video game? Orks attacked a Forge World in hope of looting Titans, so I cant see what the problem is. 4. Have you played Space Marine video game? the Ultramarines were used by a chaos daemon to make a Warp Portal and send a Chaos warband on the Forge World. Besides I have finished on the History bit yet, so just wait. *facepalm* Just for these examples, I'm going to ignore these "pearls" of fluff. The history of the Sons of Vengeance is a confusing one. Back M32, Chaos (led by Chaos Lord Norrexus of the World Eaters) had reached a planet called Delta Prime, which was and still is a Forge World. /whistle... Assault on a Forge World? That World Eater is either very insane, or very stupid. Unless he has a whole Black Crusade at his back, the Adeptus Mechanicum and their associated forces are going to turn you inside out. Still don't see a problem? No, because Storm of Iron went the same way. Plus Chapters Due (Ultramarines novel) has the Iron Warriors attacking the Ultramarine's homeworld (linky: http://www.blacklibrary.com/all-products/C...-Softback.html) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/238359-delete-this-topic/#findComment-2880373 Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightrawenII Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 1. well everyone that posted in this topic wanted more detail, so I gave it to them. It is not a story. There is a detail and there is a detail. See the Octaguide, what we meant by detail. 3. Have you played Space Marine video game? Orks attacked a Forge World in hope of looting Titans, so I cant see what the problem is. 4. Have you played Space Marine video game? the Ultramarines were used by a chaos daemon to make a Warp Portal and send a Chaos warband on the Forge World. Besides I have finished on the History bit yet, so just wait. *facepalm* Just for these examples, I'm going to ignore these "pearls" of fluff. The history of the Sons of Vengeance is a confusing one. Back M32, Chaos (led by Chaos Lord Norrexus of the World Eaters) had reached a planet called Delta Prime, which was and still is a Forge World. /whistle... Assault on a Forge World? That World Eater is either very insane, or very stupid. Unless he has a whole Black Crusade at his back, the Adeptus Mechanicum and their associated forces are going to turn you inside out. Still don't see a problem? No, because Storm of Iron went the same way. Plus Chapters Due (Ultramarines novel) has the Iron Warriors attacking the Ultramarine's homeworld (linky: http://www.blacklibrary.com/all-products/C...-Softback.html) Hydra Cordatus was not Forge World and Macragge isn't either. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/238359-delete-this-topic/#findComment-2880386 Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaosmarine234 Posted September 20, 2011 Author Share Posted September 20, 2011 1. well everyone that posted in this topic wanted more detail, so I gave it to them. It is not a story. There is a detail and there is a detail. See the Octaguide, what we meant by detail. 3. Have you played Space Marine video game? Orks attacked a Forge World in hope of looting Titans, so I cant see what the problem is. 4. Have you played Space Marine video game? the Ultramarines were used by a chaos daemon to make a Warp Portal and send a Chaos warband on the Forge World. Besides I have finished on the History bit yet, so just wait. *facepalm* Just for these examples, I'm going to ignore these "pearls" of fluff. The history of the Sons of Vengeance is a confusing one. Back M32, Chaos (led by Chaos Lord Norrexus of the World Eaters) had reached a planet called Delta Prime, which was and still is a Forge World. /whistle... Assault on a Forge World? That World Eater is either very insane, or very stupid. Unless he has a whole Black Crusade at his back, the Adeptus Mechanicum and their associated forces are going to turn you inside out. Still don't see a problem? No, because Storm of Iron went the same way. Plus Chapters Due (Ultramarines novel) has the Iron Warriors attacking the Ultramarine's homeworld (linky: http://www.blacklibrary.com/all-products/C...-Softback.html) Hydra Cordatus was not Forge World and Macragge isn't either. Yeah, but Macragge is better defended then a Forge World (seeing as how Macragge is 2nded to Terra) (read it some were but can't remember were?). Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/238359-delete-this-topic/#findComment-2880388 Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightrawenII Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 Yeah, but Macragge is better defended then a Forge World (seeing as how Macragge is 2nded to Terra) (read it some were but can't remember were?). Hardly, that's Cadia. Edit: "The Fang is the greatest fortress constructed since the fortifications of Terra." Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/238359-delete-this-topic/#findComment-2880397 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.