Outline: Bleeding Souls

[Lord of Hats]

I'm going to try and be a little more methodical with this DIY. I like the Sons of Mjolnir, but some of the ideas just got rushed into and I'm a little disillusioned, especially since this is something I only do in my off time. So I working with something new and decided to go a different route with this chapter than the last one.

This is kind of an accumulation of ideas that already exist in the lore (I'm sure people will notice which ones). I've decided it would be interesting to see how these interact.

Bleeding Souls

NAME: ....................................... Bleeding Souls

FOUNDING: ............................... 21st Founding

HEADQUARTERS: ........................ Battle Barge, Eye of Truth

COLORS: .................................... Red, Gold, Bone

SPECIALTY: ................................ Psykers, Assaults

GENE-SEED: ............................... Dark Angels

KNOWN DESCENDANTS: .............. None

ESTIMATED STRENGTH: ............... 970

MOTTO: ..................................... "See the Unseen."

ORIGINS

-Dark Angels successor of the 21st Founding through Angels of Absolution. Founded to replace a destroyed Dark Angels successor Fleet-based chapter. Attempt to make Space Marines more resistant to the powers of the Warp without the complex procedures that produce Grey Knights and Exorcists. Changes made to the Catalepsean Node to try and guard Astartes from Warp infleunce.

-The experiment backfired. Bleeding Souls became more vulnerable to Warp influences. Psyker activity in Bleeding Souls increased slightly.

-Supported Sebastian Thor during the Age of Apostasy early in their history.

-Lost to the Warp in 287M36 on their way to Terra to take part in the Second Seige of Terra

-Chapter fought off daemons while trapped in the Warp for three weeks

-Managed to escape through unknown means, some battle brothers fear that a deal may have been struck with Chaos.

-Ravaged by the 'Curse' a screaming voice in their minds that drives many of the chapter into a murderous rage. Caused by an unknown power from the Warp. Causes other battle brothers to become psykers of a stronger proportion than is normal for Space Marines.

-Chapter found that what appeared to be weeks to them was in fact nearly 2000 years to the rest of the Imperium.

-Avoided any attention, defending backwater worlds the Imperium would not notice to rebuild their strength.

-Determined to cure the 'Curse' and free themselves from the warp. Extremely guarded of their secrets, especially around other Dark Angels successors. Do not want the shame of the betrayal of an entire Company to become known. Wary that they will be declared traitors if the truth is revealed and become hunted alongside the 'Fallen.'

HEADQUARTERS

-Battle Barge, Eye of Truth. The sole surviving ship of the original chapter fleet. Contains the Vault, where all the chapter's secrets are hidden. Numerous things are hidden within the Vault, and only the Primes and the High Templar know what lays inside.

COMBAT DOCTRINE

-Chapter text added to the Codex to address the large numbers of Psykers and the 'Curse.' Long text that they study in depth to strengthen their minds and learn to control themselves and their powers in battle. Suspected to contain hidden truths discovered by the chapter within the Warp.

-Heavy use of psykers in battle. Over a third of the chapter have psychic powers. The Bleeding Souls have become extremely proficient in fighting the powers of the warp.

-Many dreadnoughts

-Common use of Assault Marines. The 'Curse' functions similar to the Red Thirst of the Blood Angels, making it difficult for Bleeding Souls to control themselves in battle. Psyker Apothecaries used to strengthen the wills and focus the minds of their battle brothers.

ORGANISATION

-Appears Codex adherent but has altered its chapter structure to combat the 'Curse.'

-Companies replaced with Circles led by powerful Librarians called Primes who take over the role of the Inner Circle. The First Prime is equivalent to the Chapter Master.

-Circles contain 9 'Fellowships' made of 9 battle brothers led by a senior Librarian, his apprentice, and a psyker Apothecary who guards their minds from the Curse.

-Nine Circles.

-The first Circle is the Veteran company, made up entirely of Librarians.

-The eighth is made up of scouts and initiates.

-Ninth Circle made up of non-psychic battle brothers and Chaplains who have sufficient strength of mind and will and do not suffer the 'Curse'. Tasked to hunt down and kill any Bleeding Souls who sucum. Called Templars. Adapted from surviving non-psychic elements of the Bleeding Souls' Deathwing and Reclusiam.

BELIEFS

-The Bleeding Souls believe that something in the Warp grasps at them, trying to turn them to Chaos. They seek to free themselves of this Curse, and travel the galaxy trying to be rid of it. They gather ancient texts and technologies and search for anything that can be used in their battle against Chaos.

-Avoid the main body of the Imperium as best they can, both to avoid being declared heretics and traitors, and out of caution of spreading the Curse. Disillusioned that they remain loyal, but will be destroyed if the Imperium discovers what has become of them.

-The Chapter seems to possess some secret about the Imperium that has shaken their faith in it. They believe that the Imperium has betrayed the Emperor's vision of humanity, plunging it into superstitious fear and irrationality.

-They believe the Emperor will be revive some day, and that he will restore the Imperium and humanity. Some Bleeding Souls believe it should be their mission to use the knowledge they obtain and their own enhanced power to find a way to revive the Emperor, rather than free themselves.

GENE-SEED

-Mutation within the Catalepsean Node that causes the Bleeding Souls to be more vulnerable to the power of the Warp. Is linked to the Curse and the increased psyker activity within the chapter. Gene-seed is otherwise pure, and that the Curse is not gene-seed related keeps it under the Imperium's notice.

-Mutation from the Warp that causes a luminescent glow in their eyes.

NOTES

-Numerous mysterious surround the Chapter. Working on how exactly I can present these. I went with an overly long narrative with my last DIY, and I'm kind of hoping to avoid that this time. At the same time I prefer example to just stating something. I'm thinking of a timeline. It would allow me to still cover a variety of circumstance and still tell a little bit of a more long term story. One of the mysterious I'm thinking of is that rather than 10 'companies' there are only 9. Maybe one fell to Chaos in the Warp, but that almost seems to weird for a Dark Angels successor to be mentioned as experiencing a similar event and doing what they would do anyway.

-Exactly what occured inside the Warp is unknown. Some Bleeding Souls fear a deal was struck with Chaotic powers. Others are afraid that whatever deal the Chapter may have struck may have dire repercussions. Whatever transpired, the first eight Primes buried it so deep that the Chapter has not been able to find it.

-The chapter relied on uses of psychic powers that boarder on sorcery while trapped in the Warp and continues to use them. They keep this as closely guarded as they can and avoid contact with other Imperial forces.

Current color scheme:

[Sigismund Himself]

It's an interesting idea ^_^ The challenge with this chapter's concept is how to reveal the flaw. It needs to be a bit mysterious but not too much. Keep in mind from which perspective you're writing from, whether it is from the Imperium's point of view or someone within the chapter.

 

I would actually advise dropping the 21st Founding and flawed gene-seed. Just have them becoming Lost in the Warp and then develop the curse, before searching for the cure. It makes the narrative a little less busy and to my mind, it isn't really necessary, though it does make them seem less tainted.

[NightrawenII]

Hmm, well...

 

COMBAT DOCTRINE

Psyker Apothecaries used to strengthen the wills and focus the minds of their battle brothers.

- How? The mind-probing is actually very dangerous activity for Psyker.

 

BELIEF

-The Chapter seems to possess some secret about the Imperium that has shaken their faith in it. They believe that the Imperium has betrayed the Emperor's vision of humanity, plunging it into superstitious fear and irrationality.

- Yeah, because the daemons of warp are epitome of truthfulness. ///It doesn't matter that it's truth or not. No sane Servant of Imperium is going to believe a daemon, period.

 

GENE-SEED

-Mutation within the Catalepsean Node that causes the Bleeding Souls to be more vulnerable to the power of the Warp. Is linked to the Curse and the increased psyker activity within the chapter. Gene-seed is otherwise pure, and that the Curse is not gene-seed related keeps it under the Imperium's notice.

-Mutation from the Warp that causes a luminescent glow in their eyes.

- Tittle-tattle, my friend. IF is your Chapter more vulnerable to Warp and has increased psyker activity (Not to mention the (suspected) deal with warp-power), it will be infested with all sorts of mutants, before you can say "Cursed Founding". Just look at Thousand Sons.

 

 

Cheers, NightrawenII.

[Lord of Hats]

The challenge with this chapter's concept is how to reveal the flaw. It needs to be a bit mysterious but not too much. Keep in mind from which perspective you're writing from, whether it is from the Imperium's point of view or someone within the chapter.

 

I've also be wondering on this one. I'm leaning towards a sort of Imperium POV, as I think it would work better, but that isn't really in line to my writing style so I don't know if I can pull it off. I thought it would be kind of cool to present the history as a sort of Imperium data record tracing the Chapters appearances and that Chapter personalities and mysterious could be revealed, but then they're secretive. Just cause the Imperium noticed a heavy use of psychic powers doesn't mean they know why. It would defeat the point a little if they did.

 

I would actually advise dropping the 21st Founding and flawed gene-seed.

 

I too wondered if I should do this as well. I probably will. 21st seemed to just fit, bad luck/mutation/heresy and all that. I'll probably just knock it down to 20th. That'll free me up a little.

 

- How? The mind-probing is actually very dangerous activity for Psyker.

 

I guess I don't really know exactly what Psykers can and can't do. I read plenty of fiction, but psykers don't always get portrayed the same way from one book to another. Is it not within the realm of plausibility for a psyker to raise some kind of psychic shield to protect his battle brothers from hearing the screaming in their mind? The Rune Priest in A Thousand Sons does it and seems to be okay which is where I first got this idea.

 

I could remove that. If I throw in more mutation, having many Apothecaries and assigning one to each group of battle brothers would still be a justifiable break from the Codex I think. They could use their psychic powers in a more straight forward way and watch for mutation instead of the beserker rages.

 

- Yeah, because the daemons of warp are epitome of truthfulness. ///It doesn't matter that it's truth or not. No sane Servant of Imperium is going to believe a daemon, period.

 

The whole point is that they aren't exactly 'sane' anymore. They hear voices in their heads after all. Mass Astartes scizophrenia now that I think about it -_-

 

I kind of want to play up the 'are they loyal or aren't they' angle to the point even they don't know anymore. They think they are but so did the Thousand Sons before realizing they really kind of weren't. Maybe somewhere bring up that other members of the Chapter think that they're being manipulated into doing something and that there is an alternative reason for their search for a cure?

 

Also just as a fluff question. Is it not possible for information to be gleamed from the Warp through means other than a daemon?

 

- Tittle-tattle, my friend. IF is your Chapter more vulnerable to Warp and has increased psyker activity (Not to mention the (suspected) deal with warp-power), it will be infested with all sorts of mutants, before you can say "Cursed Founding". Just look at Thousand Sons.

 

Hmmm. Some fun could be had with this. I wouldn't want to carry it as far as the Thousand Sons and the flesh change, but a little Soul Drinkers stuff thrown in could be exciting. I will fiddle with this.

[NightrawenII]

- How? The mind-probing is actually very dangerous activity for Psyker.

 

I guess I don't really know exactly what Psykers can and can't do. I read plenty of fiction, but psykers don't always get portrayed the same way from one book to another. Is it not within the realm of plausibility for a psyker to raise some kind of psychic shield to protect his battle brothers from hearing the screaming in their mind? The Rune Priest in A Thousand Sons does it and seems to be okay which is where I first got this idea.

Psychic shield seems plausible, I was thinking about more direct messing with minds.

 

Also just as a fluff question. Is it not possible for information to be gleamed from the Warp through means other than a daemon?

The Imperial Seers are using Emperor's Tarot to divine a future.

 

 

Cheers, NightrawenII.

[Sigismund Himself]

I've also be wondering on this one. I'm leaning towards a sort of Imperium POV, as I think it would work better, but that isn't really in line to my writing style so I don't know if I can pull it off. I thought it would be kind of cool to present the history as a sort of Imperium data record tracing the Chapters appearances and that Chapter personalities and mysterious could be revealed, but then they're secretive. Just cause the Imperium noticed a heavy use of psychic powers doesn't mean they know why. It would defeat the point a little if they did.

You could write the IA from the Imperium PoV and then have in-universe colourpieces to reveal the exact flaw, like Aurelius Rex has done with his Dornian Heresy IAs. It's worked quite effectively in them, well worth a try.

[Lord of Hats]

I've been focusing mostly on the gene-seed mutations and what I can do with it, but as I work it I realize that I have an issue I had not at first thought of.

 

Okay. So they disappear into the Warp and show back up 2000 years later. How :D is everyone that they haven't been sending in their annual gene-seed tithe? Presumably, they don't want anyone knowing where they were for 2000 years and exactly what was going on. Who exactly would contact them to demand it, and just how inquisitive would they be? My assumption is that the Adeptus Mechanicus would demand it and they'd either send it in or not.

[Lord of Hats]

Alright. The more I think about this, the chapter embracing psykers and powers of the warp makes less and less sense. It seems more natural from them to come to hate it (on par with Black Templars). I'm going to go back over everything and rework it focusing more on physical mutation and less on psykers.

 

EDIT: Now that I think of it, maybe I should dimish the Librarium, and expand the Reclusium?

[NightrawenII]

I've been focusing mostly on the gene-seed mutations and what I can do with it, but as I work it I realize that I have an issue I had not at first thought of.

 

Okay. So they disappear into the Warp and show back up 2000 years later. How ;) is everyone that they haven't been sending in their annual gene-seed tithe? Presumably, they don't want anyone knowing where they were for 2000 years and exactly what was going on. Who exactly would contact them to demand it, and just how inquisitive would they be? My assumption is that the Adeptus Mechanicus would demand it and they'd either send it in or not.

The gene-seed tithe is your last problem. After a 20 years of no contact the Chapter will be declared Lost, (based on the fluff of Fire Hawks). If your Chapter re-appear after such long time, then the Inquisition will be very curious, where did you be the last 2,000 years and they will be very nosy.

[Lord of Hats]

The gene-seed tithe is your last problem. After a 20 years of no contact the Chapter will be declared Lost, (based on the fluff of Fire Hawks). If your Chapter re-appear after such long time, then the Inquisition will be very curious, where did you be the last 2,000 years and they will be very nosy.

 

Yeaaahhh. I thought the whole lost in the warp thing could be used for interesting plot progression, but to keep um loyal in the conventional just doesn't seem to work out too well :) This belongs on the Don't of DIY for more than just lazy writing XD. I'm gonna have to find another way to get this origin thing going.