Crysteel

[DarkCrusader]

Hi,I've done a washed out story in the librarium before,it reeeaally sucked... B)

So hopefully this one will be better.

Though chances are it won't :D

 

Crysteel:The Parcus Formidonis

 

"In the 41st Millenium there is only war."

 

"This statement,for a start,could be dissuaded.For even though there is war,there is also economy and all of you know,war and economy go hand in hand."

The iterator paused for second to drink from a water bottle in his hand.He placed the bottle down at his feet before continuing,"Would anyone care to give an example?"He looked around the lecture theater for a candidate.He cleared his throat noisily and went on:

"Mister Jeremy Tauf,would you mind elaborating on my statment?"

A young man in the back corner lifted his head of his desk,slightly confused.

"Any time soon Mister Tauf," the iterator stated,rubbing the bridge of his nose with thumb and forefinger.A ripple of amusement slipped through the lecture theater.

A student next to Tauf leaned over and whispered in his ear.Tauf nodded silently as the iterator waited.When the student stopped speaking,Tauf looked up at the iterator.

"Sir,I bel-,he began.

"Stand when speaking!"

"Sorry sir." Tauf stood.

"Sir,I believe a good example would be that wars are caused because of want,for land and resource.Yet those are things you need for a war.If you were fighting another army you would need armor,food,weaponry.Hence,the need for resource.Therefore the statement that they go hand in hand is a true one,one could even say,that they create a cycle.A cycle of Trade of War."

Silence hung in the air as Tauf sat back down.

The iterator pursed his lips,every eye was on him to see what his response would be.

Suddenly he looked up at Tauf with a smile on his face,his first in a while.

"Mister Tauf,you have gauged my statement correctly and elaborated on the focal points.I must admit the example could have been refined from its crude likeness,but the main point is,without economy..." the iterator paused for effect,"There is no war."

As he said his last words the listeners erupted with applause.

"Now you may all go,"he smiled,"You should walk out quickly Mister Tauf,or I may keep you as my assistant."

Another ripple of laughter joined the chorus of noisy voices as the students left the theater.The heavy doors at the back of the auditorium closed and silence swept in.

***

The Wild Grunter was a wealthy,reputable bar in uptown Vermount.It was wealthy because officials and magistrates frequented the bar with their mistresses and payed good money for secrecy.Usually the bar was quite active,even on Tuesdays,but the recent strike from the Miner's Guild left the officials and magistrates swimming in negotiations and paperwork.To see only four customers in the bar was a new sight to the patron's eyes,but he retained a calm face and walked over to a table where three of the four men sat.

"Hello,are you men enjoying the night?"he started,patting one of the men on the back.

"Shut up!We're trying to listen to the AudiCom!"

The response he got was quite unexpected and unnatural for upper-class men such as themselves,yet he did not even take offense as he was snared in what the three men had been listening to:

"-and with this information it seems that the planet is abundant with a mineral never before found,but officials are reluctant to provide more information.This is Ava Ferou with your Sectorial Iteration."

At that,the man that had responded to the patron switched off the AudiCom and sighed.

"Wow,that's quite heavy.Another mineral.What do you think Abel?"

Abel,a man that worked with the stock markets,replied:"This could either go really well and become a great resource that boosts our economical evolution with xeno races or..." he paused and downed the last of his amasec.

"Or what!?"asked the impatient and rude man from earlier.

Abel sighed,placed his amasec on the table and looked to each face.

"Or,we could be seeing total war.Not just against xeno,but against ourselves."

All the men around the table fell silent.The only sound was of the customer,that had been eating at another table,paying for his Grunter Special and leaving the bar.

***

Chapter 1:

Ava Ferou passed through metal gates into the flat land above the mine and carried on to the next blockade.As she neared the gates to the innermost blockade a naval officer stopped her,as others had done just moments ago.

"G'day ma'am,a Level A pass is needed to enter the mine,"the officer stated,one hand rested on the plasma gun hanging from a strap.His left hand opened to receive the pass that an impatient Ava Ferou had handed.

" 'Scuse me while a verify this,ma'am."

He took his other hand off the plasma gun and activated the vox that hung from his belt.

"Ensign Robert DuValle requesting Admiral Peregin for Level A pass clarification.End vox,"the Ensign cut the link and waited.

The officer and the iterator stood there awkwardly,looking around trying not to catch the other's eye.After what seemed like a century,a tall man ushered the Ensign out of the way and stepped forward to greet Ava.

"Welcome to the Septonian Mines ma'am,name's Nikolus Peregin,commanding officer in this sector.Who might you be?" he took her hand in both of his and shook it gently.

Ava took only a quick look at the hulk before retrieving her hand.

"I'm Ava,Ava Ferou.I'm an iterator,trying to get some information on this whole deal," she gestured to all the barb-wire fences and naval soldiers behind and afore her.

The admiral studied the pass as she talked.When she was done,he took a scanner out of his back pocket and scanned the small strip at the top right edge.The scanner beeped and he smiled.The scanner was returned to his back pocket and the pass was handed to Ava.

"Well ma'am,I'm pleased to say I now get to spend more time with you." he gave her a smile and gestured for her to go through the last gate.

Ava pretended to brush her brunneous hair out of her eyes to hide the red cheeks that the admiral's words had produced.The admiral followed her through the gate and started leading her towards a nearby mineshaft.

"So,admiral..." Ava started.

"Call me Nikolus."

"Thanks.So Nikolus,would you mind telling me what you know about what's going on here?"

"First tell me what you know," he replied coolly.

"Well," she started,her eyes drifted to her feet as she thought."Well,I know that there is something of value in these mines.The rest of my thoughts are just speculation based on the circumstances."

"You just stated all that I know."

She stopped walking.

"You don't know what you are guarding?" her voice was on the boarder of being a shout.

"No."

"Then what was the point of me going through all this trouble to get a pass!?"

Now she was shouting.

"Well,apparently I'm supposed to lead you into an abandoned mine that doesn't have anything to do with what we are guarding and tell you that the reason we are here is because we are expanding our headquarters to this planet as it has lead in the mines that will be used for ammunition.So,shall we begin the tour?"

"You want me to follow you when I know that you will just be expounding a bunch of lies!"

Now she was on the verge of pounding her petite hands on his armour.

"Yes,that's it exactly," at this he started into a slow walk.He turned his head to see if she was walking,"You coming?"

"I am not going!Why can't you just tell me the truth!It's my job to find the truth!"

These words struck the admiral.He turned quickly,paced hastily over to Ava and gave her a scowl.

"Listen woman,I put up with your wining for truth,but I don't seem to be able to get it into your thick head that I don't know a single thing.To tell you the truth,even if I knew every detail I wouldn't tell you as it is my duty to retain the truth from you interfering civilians.The only problem you have with understanding that is the fact that you have no sense of duty!" his scowl lingered on his face as he regained his composure.

Meanwhile Ava was taken aback.The handsome soldier with a battle-worn yet strong face,short blonde hair and roguish charm had just turned into some sort of warp creature within the period of his outburst.She was not a woman to be outspoken,however,and glared back with an equal ferocity:

"Well,excuse me for documenting the exploits of the "Glorious" Imperial Navy!So,you can go keep your duty,I am leaving!You are not worth the time,Admiral."

At that,the admiral turned and grabbed a passing officer by the arm and pointed to Ava.

"Escort this,this woman to her transport and see that she does not stick her snooping nose into any naval business!"

The officer was quite surprised to see the admiral in a shouting match with a plainclothes woman,but gave the sign of the aquilla and quickly extracted the still scowling Ava from the situation.

They walked silently back to the gate.

The officer turned to look at Ava for the first time.She was beautiful,her brown hair was tied up and her eyes were of the clearest blue.Her nose was delicate,but it was scrunched up at the moment as she scowled to herself.Her whole dress code was that of a tomboy,but this accentuated her natural beauty.She broke from cursing angrily to herself and looked up to see him staring.She pulled her black jacket tighter around her and muttered something that sounded to the officer like "Pervert."

They walked in silence through the inner gate and the guard with the plasma gun.

Just before they reached the next gate,the officer tried to create conversation by greeting her.

"Sorry about your row with the admiral ma'am,though I must say you are the first woman I've ever seen to turn down his 'irresistable charms'."

"I guess I'll take that as a compliment."

The officer smiled,"So why di-"

The guard at the gate they had reached ushered them through.

"Why were you guys at each other's necks?"

"Relevant differences,"she replied,brushing him off.

"Really?I had no idea you considered 'bedroom activities' with him as a relevant difference."

She looked over scowling,but broke down and started smiling herself when she saw his stupid grin.

"Is that really what your admiral is famous for?"

The officer nodded,still grinning.

"Well I assure you,that may have been high on his priority list but I-"

She was disrupted as a guard ushered them out the last gate of the compound and into a large flat docking area bathed in artificial light.

"As I was saying,"she said.They had both stopped now and stood facing each other a meter away from a ship being unloaded.

"My priority was to see what this whole farrago is about."

The officer scratched his stubble thoughtfully."I see.Well,I couldn't let a pretty women go forth unfulfilled,so if you need anything at all..."

She grinned slyly:"I see you've been getting pick up lines from your admiral?"

"Hey!They might be rubbish but they managed to get girls for the admiral," he laughed.

After a bit of laughing from both of them,Ava stopped.

"I may be needing some more information such as a first hand account or descriptions..."

"Well you know where to find me," he interrupted.

"Yes,well,here's my card,"she said,handing him a card.

He glanced at the card holding all her details.

"So I'm guessing those pick up lines worked,eh?He grinned while still examining the card.

She laughed,"No luck there!No,if you learn anything I'm asking you to contact me with the information."

"Will do,"he said,looking up and giving a mock salute.

She smiled and waved,then walked on to embark The Colonial,an Escort ship.Within a few short minutes,the servitor had the engines rearing to go.

Ava looked out the window as they grew in altitude to see the man in a blue uniform walking back into the compound.A pang of sadness struck her,but she brushed it aside quickly.

Soon she was back in her office,though,enjoying amasec in a dark bottle while thinking of the day's goings on.

***

Okay,done 1st part of Chapter 1.(Rushed a little) :P

[DarkCrusader]

1st part of Chapter 1 is done in rough. :)

[WarpStalker]

The main thing that stands out to me is your lack of describing the surroundings of the characters, doing this really helps to set the scene. You brush on it, but never really go into detail. Because of this, there is a lot of dialogue to go through, not that that is such a problem, I like where this is going, but it would really help to get some description and tone down slightly on the mass of speech in there in my opinion.

[DarkCrusader]

Thanks for reading!<darkcru runs up a wall because someone finaly commented> i see what you mean with the lack of desc.i managed to pull it off for that first part,but i'll start desc.ing more. ;)

[WarpStalker]

Your welcome haha ;) I know how it feels to not get comments, really sucks. Yeah, just describe the world you are creating, it helps to submerse the reader in what you are trying to do. Not saying it is in any way perfect, but i'm pretty happy with my story is going (in sig) so if you wanted to read that...i would appreciate it. Its pretty damn long tho haha :(