Jaydenn Kore Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 Origins: The origins of the Vulture Legion are shrouded in mystery; few basic facts have been gleaned from what survives of the Imperial archive on Terra other than that they may have inherited Gene-seed from the 1st Founding Chapter “Raven Guard” and that it was widely believed that the Chapter was one of many that belonged to the mysterious 13th Founding. It is believed that the Inquisition required a greater number of Orders Militant to support the Grey Knights, to this end the Grand Masters of the Inquisition are thought to have arranged for a change to the Sus-an Membrane. The theory continues that the genetic engineer Dr Outekk had produced an improved implant which was designed to encase the brain with a neural screen and promote the development of any latent psychic ability. No one knows for sure how many initiates died, struggling to contain the horrors of the warp, some say the experiment never happened, others that its chapters were eliminated rather than risk a greater peril from Chaos. The details of the 13th Founding are almost completely lost and it is unknown to the Imperium how many, and which Chapters were created, and if any still exist. Uncorroborated evidence quotes that the official founding date for the Vulture Legion is 584.M34. Assumed History As early as 270. M34, there is a an incomplete report from an Interrogator who was part of an Ordo Hereticus Task force engaged in the pacification and cleansing of the Dacian home world. It mentions the arrival in orbit of a small fleet of starships, which landed six companies of grey and black suited marines. The armour of these marines bore no visible chapter markings. Their unexpected assistance, combined with a precision bombardment from their accompanying fleet, turned the tide against the Chaos cultists. The subsequent “Exterminatus” levelled the world in to the dead planet of later centuries. On Lorus 6 they have records of marines matching the Vulture Legions’ description fighting off Eldarion raiders in the year 729.M37 Archives on many worlds, record the visit by grey and black sky warriors who came with gifts but often left with dozens of young men and not all were willing volunteers. From this it can be deduced that until M41 the chapter was fleet-based, roaming the Eastern fringes of the Galaxy, enforcing the will of the Imperium. There is mention of the Vulture Legion fighting Ork on any number of worlds within the Damocles Cluster some three hundred years later. Recent History In 906.M41, they are recorded in the archives of the Sfantu System as being one of the relief chapters during the war against the Warrg of War Boss Shrekaa Mekkas’ forces. Overstretched and without support, the Vultures were forced to reorganise itself on non-Codex guidelines. In order to achieve its task in capturing the Ork Nobz stronghold, the Chapter was arranged into five assault companies. With the fighting at its peak No 2 Company under the leadership of the then Brother Captain Constantine, they broke through to the Nobz command centre. Here in vicious hand-to-hand fighting Constantine succeeded in destroying all communications with Shrekaa Mekkas’ orbiting star ships. Of his entire company just he and eleven others survived the attack. With communication broken the remaining star ships fled the system pursued by the Vultures Cobra Destroyers. From that day No 2 Company was granted the honour title “Valourous” and deemed as veteran status alongside No 1 Company. In the closing days of the year 947.M41, whilst patrolling the rim worlds of the Ultima Segmentum they responded to a call for help from the Governor of the Delos Sector. This back water region of Imperial worlds lay at the furthest reaches of the Astronomicon and had had little contact with the Imperium. A series of riots had broken out throughout the sector but was primarily focussed on the Delos Beta sub sector after the arrival in system of the derelict space hulk “Sea of Souls”, which had been lost to the warp for over fifty years. (To be continued) Geneseed The Gene-seed of The Vulture Legion contains many gene markers similar to the Raven Guard genome but also contains unidentified genetic material. The zygotes have undergone several mutations over the millennia. These have subsequently been engineered out to some degree. The Chapters last contact with the Adeptus Mechanicus occurred towards the end of 569.M39, no record exists of any gene tithe being taken. The Chapters’ apothecaries require the battle brothers to undergo vigorous testing annually. This practice stems from the fact that as the chapter has little or no contact with the Adeptus Biologis on Terra, control over any mutation or breakdown of any of the zygote structures remains the responsibility of the Chapters’ Magos Apothecarius. Homeworld In recognition of their services during the Delos Civil War, the Vulture Legion were given dominion of one of the Delos Systems strangest planets. SUALIS. Sualis is a large planet situated at the Eastern edge of the Delos Beta Sub Sector. It does not orbit the Delos Beta star as the other worlds do, but is in a fixed position 750 million kilometres from the edge of the Guthric Expanse and within 900 million kilometres of the Western end of the Conn’El rift. Scientists have yet to discover what holds the moon in position or provides its .98G gravity fields. The large gravimetric forces generated by the Expanse may be the solution. Sualis is a barren mining-class world, 35% of the planet is covered by seas of soft grey dust, the rest is made up of mountain chains and solidified lava lakes. Fortress Monastery of Sualis (Herculaneum) The Fortress Monastery of the Vulture Legion is situated on the Eastern day/night terminator of Sualis. The monastery is situated within the 2 kilometre wide caldera of an long extinct volcano. The tech priests of nearby Caraldon helped in the construction. Several major mining corporations have Mining Hives on the daylight side, from which both precious stones and rare minerals are extracted. A local scribe once described the monastery as having’ one eye in the world and the other watching the darkness’. The Librarium of Sualis is housed in a vast structure that houses the total knowledge acquired by the chapter over its many centuries of galactic wanderings. At the very core of the Librarium lies the a chamber where the most dangerous of texts and most powerful relics are kept. (To be continued) Organisation Until the events of War Boss Shrekaa Mekkas' Warrg, the chapter had followed a strict Codex organisation similar to that of its progenitors. Although the changes made at the time of the Warrg led to the decimation of the 2nd company, it was decided to re-organise the chapter with a greater number of assault and highly mobile units to create a rapid response force capable of striking hard and fast against any enemy. To enable the training and development of the chapters psychic abilities two Scout demi companies were created. The 11th and 12th company comprise both normal Scouts and Novitiate Librarians led by Veteran Sargeants. Fragmentary data recorded during the interception of Hive Fleet Perseus in 976.M41 describes the Chapter as fielding twelve companies. The additional Scout Companies, are a necessity based on the rigors neophytes endure as they become full battle-brothers within the Chapter. The current chapter organisation as of 997.M41 is given below: Company Organisation First Company: Veteran Tactical Second Company: Veteran Battle Assault Third Company: Battle Company Tactical Fourth Company: Battle Company Assault Fifth Company: Battle Company Assault Sixth Company: Recon Company Seventh Company: Reserve Company Tactical Eighth Company: Reserve Company Assault (Airborne) Ninth Company: Reserve Company Devastator Tenth Company: Reserve Company Devastator Eleventh Company Scout / Novices Twelfth Company Scout / Novices As can be seen variations exists, but none are as major as the Librarians. Librarians (The Chosen) The Vulture Legion have more Librarians than most chapters. It is not uncommon for multiple Librarians to be attached to companies when necessary. Within the Chapters current organisation there is at least one with each company. (Lexicanium) Senior Librarians of the Chapter normally accompany the First and Second Companies on the most hazardous of missions. The Chief Librarian holds the title Master of the Word. The evidence of their mysterious origins lends some credence to this unusual amount of psykers within the chapter. In battle, Vulture Librarians utilise the Aegis pattern Psychic Hood to extend their psychic abilities. The Aegis hood resembles a fine skull cap which is linked to the Psyker’s skull through conductive wires and implanted receptors and allows the Psyker to more easily detect manipulations of the Warp, as well channelling his power through weapons embedded with a series of augmetic crystals. Armour & Identification As with most chapters, the Vulture Legion has a wide range of armour variants within its ranks. The most common armour set is the Mk VI, yet some marines and other officers have elements from both Mk V and Mk7 variants. Each Chapter is assigned its own unique regalia and uniform during its Founding, to these markings are added Company and Squad designations along with Honour Markings. The overall colour of Vulture Legion armour is a deep grey. Whilst the inner faces of both pauldrons, both lower legs, elbow joints, wrist joints, boot soles, body, belt and codpiece are a non-reflective black. It is unusual for personal heraldic device to be used on any armour. The company colour is shown on the helmet and pauldron edges. On Mk6 grieves the company colour may be represented on the right kneepad. The Aquila or Imperialis varies upon the age and maintenance of the armour, but is a dry bone colour or pale gold. Sergeants are identified by a white stripe through the centre of the helmet. With the exemption of the 1st company who uses red and the 6th, 11th and 12th who use a dark grey. The left lower arm and sometimes the left hand can also carry the company colour. Librarians follow a variant of the codex colour scheme, replacing all grey areas of armour for dark blue. Because of the number of Librarians that can be fielded at any one time, the left lower arm and left hand can carry the company colour. Apothecaries also follow a variant scheme replacing all grey areas of armour for white. Pauldrons are also edged with red as are the face pieces to the helmet. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/240134-ia-the-vulture-legion/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bannus Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 Hmmmm....I think this was meant for Liber. Energize.......<transporter hum> Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/240134-ia-the-vulture-legion/#findComment-2897947 Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Emperor's Champion Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 Hmmmm....I think this was meant for Liber. Energize.......<transporter hum> :lol: Are the Vulture Legion aware of the Vultures? :D Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/240134-ia-the-vulture-legion/#findComment-2897952 Share on other sites More sharing options...
CKO Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 If you dont mind me asking why so much mystery? Its not a bad thing I just want to know why you chose to be so mysterious. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/240134-ia-the-vulture-legion/#findComment-2898115 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaydenn Kore Posted October 12, 2011 Author Share Posted October 12, 2011 With all the reworking and adjustment to cannon data from Games Workshop over the years a lot of what was the 40k world I grew up with has vanished under mountains of fluff. This Chapter was first created over 22 years ago when the nearest thing to a computer I owned was a Intel 806, with 16mb of memory, so a large amount of the original "fluff" has long since been lost. The chapter and the Delos worlds system were created for my sons in which we could play Space Fleet, Space Hulk, 40k Epic, 40k, Necromunda etc as themed story arcs, often lasting months. The Chapter was never intended to play the restrictive rules laid out by GW (version 2&3), we only followed them as a guideline. We were running a 40k demi company (65 models) against genestealer hordes on 10ft x 6ft play area using Space Hulk, Space Crusade and Necromunda floor tiles and buildings. Since discovering B&C it has inspired me to try and resurrect the Chapter, as time permits I will expand the fluff to cover more aspects of the Chapters 6000 year history. In answer to the other question, we have heard of the existence of the Vulture Chapter, but do not acknowledge any kinship. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/240134-ia-the-vulture-legion/#findComment-2898615 Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightrawenII Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 Hello and welcome in the Liber. I bet you (all) are expecting the harsh ridicule I'm famous for. Well... you will be disappointed. :cry: I just want to ask. Do you want me to comment your Chapter or not? - Because as far I can tell, it will be bloodshed, slaughter and end of one dream. :devil: Cheers, NightrawenII. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/240134-ia-the-vulture-legion/#findComment-2899205 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaydenn Kore Posted October 13, 2011 Author Share Posted October 13, 2011 Nitrawen, Comment if you must, pesonally I don't give a Orks chuuba.. :P Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/240134-ia-the-vulture-legion/#findComment-2899456 Share on other sites More sharing options...
CKO Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 Hello and welcome in the Liber. I bet you (all) are expecting the harsh ridicule I'm famous for. Well... you will be disappointed. :P I just want to ask. Do you want me to comment your Chapter or not? - Because as far I can tell, it will be bloodshed, slaughter and end of one dream. :P Cheers, NightrawenII. Is this necessary? Or do you use the forum as a way to vent your frustrations? Or are you incapable of giving advice in a manner that is not rude? I know I am coming off nightrawish but I think you can give good advice without seeming disrepectful. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/240134-ia-the-vulture-legion/#findComment-2899697 Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightrawenII Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Hello and welcome in the Liber. I bet you (all) are expecting the harsh ridicule I'm famous for. Well... you will be disappointed. ;) I just want to ask. Do you want me to comment your Chapter or not? - Because as far I can tell, it will be bloodshed, slaughter and end of one dream. :P Cheers, NightrawenII. Is this necessary? Or do you use the forum as a way to vent your frustrations? Or are you incapable of giving advice in a manner that is not rude? I know I am coming off nightrawish but I think you can give good advice without seeming disrepectful. *sigh* Every time, I'm trying to be nice, I get kicked into balls. I have to stop trying. :no: I was asking first, because I'm certain that I cannot comment his Chapter without being harsh and rude. That's the point of my post, warning and question. It's not that I can't be nice and/or mild, I was concerned about reception of my C&C and its impact on the author. P.S. It's nightravenwish. ;) P.P.S. @Jaydenn Kore I don't have to, I'm asking if you are prepared for it. :P Cheers, NightrawenII. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/240134-ia-the-vulture-legion/#findComment-2899874 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Tyler Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 ..I cannot comment his Chapter without being harsh and rude... You may comment on this or any Chapter in this forum, but you may not be rude. "Harsh" is okay if it's polite and constructive. If you can't comment without being rude, don't comment. And there's no need to showboat with the theatrical questions. Judge for yourself if you can behave in accordance with the forum rules and then make the appropriate decision. Getting permission from someone to be rude is a cop-out and won't stand up if you try to use the "permission" to excuse any rude behavior. =][= Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/240134-ia-the-vulture-legion/#findComment-2899922 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaydenn Kore Posted October 14, 2011 Author Share Posted October 14, 2011 Hello and welcome in the Liber. I bet you (all) are expecting the harsh ridicule I'm famous for. Well... you will be disappointed. ;) I just want to ask. Do you want me to comment your Chapter or not? - Because as far I can tell, it will be bloodshed, slaughter and end of one dream. :( Cheers, NightrawenII. Is this necessary? Or do you use the forum as a way to vent your frustrations? Or are you incapable of giving advice in a manner that is not rude? I know I am coming off nightrawish but I think you can give good advice without seeming disrepectful. *sigh* Every time, I'm trying to be nice, I get kicked into balls. I have to stop trying. :wacko: I was asking first, because I'm certain that I cannot comment his Chapter without being harsh and rude. That's the point of my post, warning and question. It's not that I can't be nice and/or mild, I was concerned about reception of my C&C and its impact on the author. P.S. It's nightravenwish. ;) P.P.S. @Jaydenn Kore I don't have to, I'm asking if you are prepared for it. ;) Cheers, NightrawenII. Having had the opportunity to read some earlier posts of Nightrawen or Nit as I'll call him henceforth, I can see why CKO had to comment. It is obvious that Nit has his own idea of what the galaxy of 40k should be like and how every one should construct their fluff. My original post was a response to the Phil Sibberings' 1000 chapter Index, and mearly to claim my chapter that was first posted here on B&C back in 08. As I've already stated I don't give a Chubba what Nit thinks of the fluff, as it is only fluff relevant to my chapter in my version of the galaxy. As a last word on this subject I am reminded of a conversation I had with Jervis Johnson at the local GW store back in 96, when asked for his spin on the 40k universe he quoted another famous sci-fi area, "Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations". "Meus vita pro meus deus". Blood oath of the Vulture Legion. Just in case you don't speak Gothic Nit, "My life for my God". Transmission ends ................... Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/240134-ia-the-vulture-legion/#findComment-2900284 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Octavulg Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Icon ...Those aren't vultures. The origins of the Vulture Legion are shrouded in mystery; few basic facts have been gleaned from what survives of the Imperial archive on Terra other than that they may have inherited Gene-seed from the 1st Founding Chapter “Raven Guard” and that it was widely believed that the Chapter was one of many that belonged to the mysterious 13th Founding. The Raven Guard would be an odd choice for a progenitor, since their geneseed would have already been rather unstable. It is believed that the Inquisition required a greater number of Orders Militant to support the Grey Knights, to this end the Grand Masters of the Inquisition are thought to have arranged for a change to the Sus-an Membrane. The theory continues that the genetic engineer Dr Outekk had produced an improved implant which was designed to encase the brain with a neural screen and promote the development of any latent psychic ability. No one knows for sure how many initiates died, struggling to contain the horrors of the warp, some say the experiment never happened, others that its chapters were eliminated rather than risk a greater peril from Chaos. The details of the 13th Founding are almost completely lost and it is unknown to the Imperium how many, and which Chapters were created, and if any still exist. Uncorroborated evidence quotes that the official founding date for the Vulture Legion is 584.M34. First, having them be an official Order Militant/Chamber Militant seems like an attempt to have your guys be extra-super special. It's also rather strange from an in-universe view, since the Exorcists were created in the 13th Founding by an Inquisitor to combat daemons, but are not considered an Order Militant. And on top of all that, why not just make more Grey Knights? Second, I've never heard of anyone in 40K being called Doctor. They're usually Magi Biologis. Third, my impression has always been that genetic tampering was mostly confined to the Twenty-First Founding. Fourth, the Imperium does know at least one exists - the Exorcists (though that piece of background annoys me greatly). Fifth, you mention "chapters"...why would there be multiple chapters used as a test-bed for the same technology? Having just the one would seem the more usual way to do it (not least because if they do all end up daemonically-possessed and crazy, you're a lot safer with one than with ten). Sixth, what does this really add to them other than trying to make them seem special? If you want more Librarians, there are easier ways to do it than making your chapter a secret experiment to create the Grey Knights' sidekicks (off the top of my head "possible mutation". It wouldn't be out-of-keeping with the Raven Guard geneseed, anyway). In 906.M41, they are recorded in the archives of the Sfantu System as being one of the relief chapters during the war against the Warrg of War Boss Shrekaa Mekkas’ forces. Overstretched and without support, the Vultures were forced to reorganise itself on non-Codex guidelines. In order to achieve its task in capturing the Ork Nobz stronghold, the Chapter was arranged into five assault companies. Isn't the Codex really designed for being over-stretched and without support (since that's pretty much the default Space Marine condition)? And why would they reorganize themselves forever based on one battle on one world? From that day No 2 Company was granted the honour title “Valourous” and deemed as veteran status alongside No 1 Company. This seems a little odd. First, that's the sort of thing Space Marine companies end up doing pretty regularly (I would suspect). Second, I've never been under the impression Space Marines had that many veterans. Third, if there's only eleven of them left, that company's going to be pretty empty for a while. The Gene-seed of The Vulture Legion contains many gene markers similar to the Raven Guard genome but also contains unidentified genetic material. The zygotes have undergone several mutations over the millennia. These have subsequently been engineered out to some degree. The Chapters last contact with the Adeptus Mechanicus occurred towards the end of 569.M39, no record exists of any gene tithe being taken. That's illegal. Seriously, the Badab War started in part because the Astral Claws refused to cough up their geneseed for inspection. Regular tithes are mandatory. Geneseed tithes are Serious Business. They might miss a few due to circumstances, but it needs to happen. Sualis is a large planet situated at the Eastern edge of the Delos Beta Sub Sector. It does not orbit the Delos Beta star as the other worlds do, but is in a fixed position 750 million kilometres from the edge of the Guthric Expanse and within 900 million kilometres of the Western end of the Conn’El rift. Scientists have yet to discover what holds the moon in position or provides its .98G gravity fields. The large gravimetric forces generated by the Expanse may be the solution. Sualis is a barren mining-class world, 35% of the planet is covered by seas of soft grey dust, the rest is made up of mountain chains and solidified lava lakes. Also, your distances are way, way, way too small for interstellar distances (both of those would be inside our solar system by a fairly large margin), and those names really suggest interstellar features. I'd recommend just being sweeping and general about it. I would assume that its gravity field is provided by being a big bloody moon. The Fortress Monastery of the Vulture Legion is situated on the Eastern day/night terminator of Sualis. The monastery is situated within the 2 kilometre wide caldera of an long extinct volcano. The tech priests of nearby Caraldon helped in the construction. Several major mining corporations have Mining Hives on the daylight side, from which both precious stones and rare minerals are extracted. A local scribe once described the monastery as having’ one eye in the world and the other watching the darkness’. If it doesn't rotate, one side should be very hot and the other very cold. Your description of the geography suggests an unusual uniformity. Also, that's contact with the Mechanicus right there. You said earlier they hadn't had any for ages. The Librarium of Sualis is housed in a vast structure that houses the total knowledge acquired by the chapter over its many centuries of galactic wanderings. At the very core of the Librarium lies the a chamber where the most dangerous of texts and most powerful relics are kept. (To be continued) That's every chapter's Librarium. Except for the ones who keep relics in the Reclusiam, I suppose. Until the events of War Boss Shrekaa Mekkas' Warrg, the chapter had followed a strict Codex organisation similar to that of its progenitors. Although the changes made at the time of the Warrg led to the decimation of the 2nd company, it was decided to re-organise the chapter with a greater number of assault and highly mobile units to create a rapid response force capable of striking hard and fast against any enemy. Why? With the Drop Pods and the Rhinos and the eliteness, Space Marines always strike fast and hard (unless they opt not to). To enable the training and development of the chapters psychic abilities two Scout demi companies were created. The 11th and 12th company comprise both normal Scouts and Novitiate Librarians led by Veteran Sargeants. The Vulture Legion have more Librarians than most chapters. It is not uncommon for multiple Librarians to be attached to companies when necessary. Within the Chapters current organisation there is at least one with each company. (Lexicanium) Senior Librarians of the Chapter normally accompany the First and Second Companies on the most hazardous of missions. The Chief Librarian holds the title Master of the Word. The evidence of their mysterious origins lends some credence to this unusual amount of psykers within the chapter. In battle, Vulture Librarians utilise the Aegis pattern Psychic Hood to extend their psychic abilities. The Aegis hood resembles a fine skull cap which is linked to the Psyker’s skull through conductive wires and implanted receptors and allows the Psyker to more easily detect manipulations of the Warp, as well channelling his power through weapons embedded with a series of augmetic crystals. None of this is actually unusual. The overall colour of Vulture Legion armour is a deep grey. Whilst the inner faces of both pauldrons, both lower legs, elbow joints, wrist joints, boot soles, body, belt and codpiece are a non-reflective black. It is unusual for personal heraldic device to be used on any armour. Dude, we've got a picture right there. ;) * * * I really don't think the special secret psychic experiments add that much to the chapter. I'm also not getting much of a sense of their personalities. What kind of people are these Marines? How do they think? Who do they like? What do they like? That sort of thing. 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Jaydenn Kore Posted October 15, 2011 Author Share Posted October 15, 2011 Octavulg. As I said to Nitraven, I don't give an *&*!!!" what you or anyone else thinks, if any of your comments were constructive, but they arn't. The fluff is my fluff and probably written before you were out of diapers and well before GW expanded the 40k universe. A history that covers 6000 years is never complete or accurate, just look at our own for example. As to their "homeworld" read it again, there is no star, therefore no heat just cold and colder and lit only by the glow from the expanse. The term "tech priest" does not neccessarily infer Adeptus Mechanicus. If I had the time and patience I could transfer the Delos Worlds sub sector data that was created at the same time as the Vultures which would explain everything, unfortunately its all hand written and at over forty pages, I won't be doing it anytime soon. As to "Doctor in 40K" let me give you the original quote. Chapter Approved: The Origin of Legiones Astartes (by Rick Priestly, excerpted from WD 98, February 1988) But this month's chapter approved file examines their origins as we go back... Way back... To a war fought long ago, and a fortress-laboratory far beneath the earth. The visitors waited in the elevator capsule whilst hidden pumps silently adjusted the temperature, humidity and pressure. When the doors opened there would be no sudden draught. No breeze to alter the constant thirty-one point seven degrees in the subterranean vault. In laboratory nine, the most stable environment on earth, chance had long since been eradicated. Inside the laboratory, Dr Devam Outek and his staff shuffled nervously as machines made final miniscule adjustments to the capsule's oxygen content. In a moment they would be in the presence of the man who had planned and guided their work through five generations of human endeavour. The visitors, sealed in their pristine suits, barely heard the doors move aside to reveal the shadowy world of red and yellow light. The technicians and scientists bowed as their visitors stepped from the lift. 'My emperor,' intoned Dr Outek. 'Dr Outek. Phase nineteen is complete?' The scientist straightened stiffly. 'Oh yes,' he said, 'a pretty baby... Very pretty indeed.' You see, even you can learn something....... No more discussion....... Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/240134-ia-the-vulture-legion/#findComment-2900973 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Octavulg Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 First, if you don't care what anyone else thinks, why post in a public forum at all? So people can tell you how awesome you are? Plus, if you don't care what anyone else thinks, what motivation do people have to interact with you at all about this stuff? Second, constructive is defined as "constructing or tending to construct; helping to improve; promoting further development or advancement ( opposed to destructive): constructive criticism." I would direct you toward the second part "helping to improve". Pointing out points of confusion, inconsistency, or inefficiency allows the author the possibility to fix those (assuming the author was not aware of them before), thus improving the work. I would also point out that a number of the things I mentioned were established background back when you would have started writing this (the Badab War, for example). If you don't want to pay attention to them, that's your business, but it's not like they're new. Nor does it invalidate my points about how some of the information you provide is redundant (the color scheme) or standard practice among Space Marines (the deployment of the Librarians). As to their "homeworld" read it again, there is no star, therefore no heat just cold and colder and lit only by the glow from the expanse. The world is described as part of the Delos system. Conventional use of the term system regarding planets and stars would thus suggest that it is close enough to the system's star (or stars) to receive light from them. If not, it would seem very odd to describe it as part of the system. The term "tech priest" does not neccessarily infer Adeptus Mechanicus. From a technical point of view, that's true. Much like the term 'marine' when used in 40K does not necessarily refer to Space Marines. From a practical point of view, when people see 'marine', they think 'Space Marine', and when people see'tech priest' they think 'Mechanicus'. If they're not Adeptus Mechanicus Tech Priests, perhaps it might be best to make that clear? And since tech is kept pretty firmly under the thumb of the Mechanicus, how would such an independent group of tech priests could come to be and survive? And what do they worship that makes them tech priests, as opposed to just engineers or technicians or scientists? If I had the time and patience I could transfer the Delos Worlds sub sector data that was created at the same time as the Vultures which would explain everything, unfortunately its all hand written and at over forty pages, I won't be doing it anytime soon. While I can sympathize with that (though forty hand-written pages retypes faster than you might expect, depending on the readability of your original penmanship), it's generally a good practice to make sure that the information you've presented can stand on its own. You don't have to fill gaps wholly, but filling them enough to withstand a read is a good idea. As to "Doctor in 40K" let me give you the original quote. The events of that quote would likely antedate the Emperor coming to his accomodation with the Tech-Priests of Mars (since the Space Marines were created before the First Crusade), so the existence of a doctor then does not necessarily mean the position/title still would be encountered. Plus, Space Marine creation is the province of the Adeptus Mechanicus now, so even if the title of Doctor still exists in 40K, doctors wouldn't be dealing with Space Marines. No more discussion....... Fair enough. Though, again, if you didn't want people to comment on this, why did you come to a forum? :cuss Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/240134-ia-the-vulture-legion/#findComment-2901008 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurgan the Lurker Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 As I said to Nitraven, I don't give an *&*!!!" what you or anyone else thinks, if any of your comments were constructive, but they arn't. You are going to have an awfully short existence here with that kind of attitude Jaydenn. You may not like what Octavulg had to say but his comments were hardly unconstructive. Your attitude on the other hand since you returned to posting has been more than poor. You've already put your foot in your mouth with your comments about people "stealing" your Chapter name, don't compound the issue by acting like a troll. If you don't want replies then don't post, it is a very simple equation. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/240134-ia-the-vulture-legion/#findComment-2901070 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaydenn Kore Posted October 16, 2011 Author Share Posted October 16, 2011 Did you guys read the whole thread before you commented.... My original post was a response to the Phil Sibberings' 1000 chapter Index, and mearly to claim my chapter that was first posted here on B&C back in 08. I was asked to post something as part of the Chapter Index, I posted what I had to hand. Kurgun, (heard that somewhere before), Yes I care that someone else had used the Vulture Legion name and I freely admit I borrowed it from one of the best fantasy writers. Afterall even todays authors of 40k have borrowed ideas from older works. I will not be posting anything more. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/240134-ia-the-vulture-legion/#findComment-2901437 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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